Chapter 10

Giant Land was surprisingly similar to Grass Land in most aspects - except, of course, everything was giant. Grass, trees, buildings and even the goombas were huge. Gomar had travelled here before (Actually so had Mario, but that was a very long time ago) and he had plenty of advice to give to his companions.

"Now this might seem a bit weird," said Gomar "but we're gonna rent one of them Biggum suits." His audience looked at him with confused stares. "You know, the big ol' things which make us big too." He still got nothing. "Big things ya get in? Well, you'll see what I mean."

Mario had no idea what he was talking about and neither did the toads. It sounded similar to a Mega Mushroom, but that wasn't a suit. It all became clear after they crested one of the gargantuan hills and saw multiple, goliath mechs sitting next to a hut. They would be renting one of those. As they got closer, it was easier to pick out details on the massive, looming machines. They were 40 to 60 feet tall with the rough approximation of a goomba or koopa's unsightly features, formed from thousands of small metal plates covering the surface in irregular patterns. They were hastiley painted in the colors of their living counterparts, though streaks of oil and black gunk made lines through the dirty, dented surface and hinted at a history of neglect and abuse. Next to those lumbering beasts was a tiny shack with a sign that looked comically small in comparison to everything else. Soon they were close enough to read what it said: 'Biggum Suit Rentals'

Approaching the shack, they were plunged into twilight by the huge shadows of the towering constructs. A lone shy guy sat in the shack behind a wide window, a simple stall that patrons could easily walk up too. The group hopped out of the kart and came up to the window, getting a good look at the shy guy behind the counter. He was just like any other shy guy but with a black robe, and Mario couldn't pin it down but something about him just seemed… less shy.

"Yo, whaddup," he began, "Name's Marcus Patron, and I'm about to get you fools a crazy deal on… toads?" Suddenly he stopped talking and looked at the group, realizing that most of them were either toad or human. Expressions couldn't be seen on their masked faces, but Mario knew he was confused.

"Yea, yea," Gomar said. "I picked 'em up a while back. Used to be a lot more but I keep getting hungry." His face twisted into a sly smile. "Give us a Biggum. A good one." Marcus put a piece of paper on the counter and then grabbed a set of keys behind him. That's when Mario started looking into the interior of the shack, noticing it wasn't just a business; a bed could be seen, along with a partial kitchen tucked into one of the corners. The other few pieces of furniture were wooden and very basic, but posters lined the walls showing off artists like "Goombas With Attitude" and "Snoop Koopa" among others. Mario didn't listen to a lot of goomba music but he knew instinctively that these artists were masters of their craft. The one thing that stood out in the small apartment was a massive set of speakers, probably 5 feet tall, wired to a nearby record player. Next to that was a small crate full of records.

"Cool," said Marcus, handing the keys to Gomar. "And the form looks good. You fools need any help? I'm an expert driver."

"I've used Biggums before," responded Gomar "It's not difficult. Steer with the sticks, and if you're gonna hit something ya just gotta make sure it ain't bigger than you."

"Yea… basically." Marcus seemed less enthusiastic about the rental now. "And make sure you bring it back with a full tank."

The group started towards one of the biggums, the 'good one' according to Gomar. It was one of the koopas, which were somewhat taller. You entered the biggum through a door in one of the feet, and then climbed a set of narrow stairs into the shell, then the head. This was where the main compartment was, with two massive windows towards the front - the eyes - and 8 chairs in a side-by-side configuration. Control surfaces extended in front of both the leading seats, which were each behind an eye, making it look somewhat like the cockpit of an airplane. The inside was just as dirty as the exterior, but had more wires running around and massive, exposed gears in some places. This looks like a death trap, thought Mario. He hoped he wasn't right.

o-o-o

"Well, even if a biggum was faster," said William, continuing to make a point he'd been arguing for some time, "it still can't make it through the Giant Mountains. And that'll save us more time than anything else." The trio was still in Water Land but they were fast approaching the border into Giant Land.

"But, but" responded Cliff, not one to drop an argument, "we're gonna get stepped on. Crushed! Big goombas and koopas won't even stop to give us the time of day!"

"Who-a talks to the big goombas?" asked Luigi, who had stayed out of it until now.

"Right?" added William. "I don't think they have conversations, let alone complex thoughts. Why do you think Giant Town was built by normal-sized goombas?"

"You're right," Cliff admitted. "But we still gotta be big to do anything in town. How are we gonna buy a drink or go to a shop?"

"It doesn't matter," William said. "Once we catch up to Mario, he'll probably have a biggum we can get in if we need it. All that really matters is catching up to him."

"I'm-a gonna have to agree on that." Luigi responded. "We need to get-a to my brother as soon as a possible."

"Then it's decided," said William. "We'll continue in the kart and take some shortcuts. We may even catch up before he reaches Iggy's Castle."

"I hope so," Luigi added.

It took only a few hours of speeding down the road before they spotted one of the slow, lumbering machines - the only one they had seen for miles. Figuring it was likely Mario's but not wanting to risk confrontation with what could just as likely be twelve angry goombas in a serious fighting machine, they decided to tail it at a safe distance and wait for the occupants to exit.

o-o-o

Sitting up in the suit, the landscape revealed itself more clearly to its tiny visitors. Before climbing up, the hilly, almost mountainous terrain stopped one from seeing very far at all. Nevermind the massive objects dotting the land which blocked your view even further. Giant Land looked, as would be expected, less like a Giant Land and more like, well, just land. Grass Land to be exact- It was essentially a copy of Grass Land at this height. Looking out onto the full horizon now, Mario and crew soon spotted an enormous farm. 'BFF Ranch' read a towering sign that could be seen for many miles, even without a suit. Moo Moos lazily munched on blades of grass as tall as Mario, oblivious to or simply unaware of the metal koopa shifting past them. It was an idyllic scene, even this deep in the Koopa Kingdom, and they would have enjoyed it in peace if it wasn't for Captain Toad.

"Moo Moo milk?" asked Captain. It was barely a question so no one answered. He pressed on, asking, "Can we stop to get some Moo Moo milk?"

"We-a don't a have the time." answered Mario.

"The plumber's right," Gomar chimed in. "But we will need to rest soon. Maybe not that farm, but I've been thinking about a place."

"Rest? We-a gonna take a break now?" Mario seemed a bit irritated.

"We ain't gonna make it to town before nightfall" Gomar began, "It's a nice little house and we could use real beds for a change instead of kart seats. Or biggum seats. We might even be able to get some supplies."

"I guess-a that makes sense. But whose-a house is it?" Mario was suspicious of the goomba's motivations.

"Oh you haven't met him." answered Gomar. But Mario had.

o-o-o

Gomar felt the bag of gold coins, testing its weight. He then asked, "So the toads, they won't be killed, right?"

"Gomar, I know you, why would you care if a toad lives?" Bowser Jr sat across from the big goomba, smiling with a darkness only the son of Bowser could pull off.

"These toads… They ain't that bad." replied Gomar "'Sides, I know all you really care about is the plumber. You don't need some worthless toads."

"Wrong. The Captain is very valuable, and the other toads… Well, we always have new spear tip designs to test." Bowser Jr chuckled after he finished speaking, contemplating the fate of his victims.

"I suppose. Still can't believe he went down with one wack." Gomar looked over at one of the 4 motionless brown sacks that lay nearby. "He seemed like such a formidable guy."

"I'm surprised you didn't know. Just get close and smack him- It usually takes one hit, sometimes two. Mario's really not that tough." chuckling again, Bowser Jr looked over at a couple of goomba guards and barked at them to carry out the sacks.

"Well Gomar, I think our work here is done. You did good." The spiny turtle hopped up from his chair and spun around, heading towards his guards.

"There is one thing," Gomar started, "A group called LTM, trying to get these things called-" but he didn't finish. With a loud crashing sound, the door to the tiny cottage flung off its hinges, crushing a goomba as it flew across the room. Standing in the doorway was a wiggler with a baseball cap, alongside a green-clothed plumber.

"Oh thank-a lord. We smash down 10 doors, not-a one have anything. I said I not-a gonna smash but one more, and it is-a it. What luck." said Luigi, as dust from the chaos was settling around him.

"He did say that." Cliff Koopa added, pushing in from behind the pair. "He said 'This is the last door. I'm not gonna smash anymore after this.' Except he said it all italian like. But he did say it."

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Bowser Jr stared at the trio, dumbfounded, then looked specifically at William. "And what in the fuck are you?"

"William Wiggler," said William Wiggler. "And all we want is Mario."

"Well, that's quite impossible. He's mine now!" and Bowser Jr planted himself, ready for a fight. That was also the moment that Gomar swung a thick metal pipe into the back of the Koopa Kid's head, immediately knocking him unconscious.

"And uh," Gomar stumbled over his words "I was going to betray, um, Bowser Jr the whole time. Just needed the chance!"

The goomba guards looked at the mismatched trio and then Gomar, unsure of who to attack. William helped them decide with a flurry of knives, taking out 4 of the 9 guards in the room. It was on. Luigi rushed a goomba on the far side, launching himself. His body spiraled through the air, completely sideways and spinning, hitting the poor goomba like a missile. It did not survive. William leaped towards the closest goomba, sticking a knife between its eyes while throwing another into a second goomba's stomach. The wiggler's knife pierced its forehead immediately after, and both goombas dropped in unison, lifeless. Luigi, back on his feet, heaved a powerful fireball at a goomba near William, hitting it with an attack it never saw. The goomba fell to the floor, burning with an intense green fire as it shrieked. Running up to it, Luigi stomped on its face and body until it was a pulp. He was partly trying to put out the fire, but he also wanted to end the creature's suffering. The last goomba alive faced Luigi and William alone, trembling with fear. Then Gomar's pipe came from behind, cracking the goomba's skull. Standing over it, he went to town on the shaking creature.

"So I," said Gomar, in between heavy smacks of his pipe, "was always a good guy." His pipe moved down, striking the goomba's torso with a mix of cracking and squishing. "I don't want there to be any doubt." One final hit to the head ended the goomba's life. "I'm a good guy."

"Wait, who-a the fuck are you?" Luigi peered at the huge goomba.

"Gomar Goomba," said William, in recognition. "You were with Mario at Morton's Castle."

"William Fuckin Wiggler. Shame I didn't bring one of my lieutenants for ya to kill." Gomar scowled at the wiggler.

"That was just business. You know how it goes." William put a hand on one of his sheathed knives. "Besides, it looks like you were doing some business as well."

"It's not what it seems. I took out Bowser Jr didn't I? And when did you become buddies with Luigi?" Gomar reached into a pocket, readying himself. Luigi looked at the pair, confused.

"Luigi is useful," replied William. "He brought me to Mario. And I'm sure he's worth some money too." As he said that Luigi started backing away, unsure of who to trust.

"Of course. Another job. Well I suggest ya pack it up and get the fuck outta here." Gomar reached deeper into his pocket, finding what he needed.

"Oh really?" William almost chuckled. He didn't fear any goomba, even Gomar.

"Yes, fuck you." and Gomar pulled out a brilliant, shimmering starman. "Get out, go away and go fuck yourself in whatever tree you crawled outta."

"That certainly changes things." William looked at the starman and frowned. It was his one weakness.

"Yea, since our last encounter I did some research. I told myself I'd never let another wiggler fuck me." Gomar walked towards William, forcing him back. "Ya got five seconds."

William left the cottage before Gomar even started counting. Luigi, jaw open, tried to figure out what had just happened.

"Did we win the fight?" asked Cliff, entering the doorway.

"Yes. We-a won the fight." Luigi glanced over at the koopa, surprised he was there. He'd almost forgotten that Cliff was with him.

"Well that's good. Glad I didn't fly away. Who's that goomba?" Cliff looked over at Gomar, still standing in the middle of the room with the starman in his (nonexistent) hand.

"Gomar. Gomar Goomba. Nice to meet you."