**BPOV**
Edward truly missed his calling as a tour guide. He knew everything about Isle Esme and delighted in pointing out the diverse flora and fauna of the tropical paradise.
He made it a point not to hunt on the island, he explained, because of the delicate ecosystem. If the few predators that inhabited the island were preyed upon, it would upset the balance causing overpopulations of other species.
"Besides, anaconda is probably the worst tasting thing I've ever hunted," Edward made a face like a little kid who was just offered broccoli.
"Anaconda?" I asked in an awed voice. "Here?" I looked around as if a large serpent might sneak up on me. I'd seen nature documentaries of the immense reptiles eating animals larger than I was. "Should I be worried?"
"If you were a normal person, I'd say no, they tend to populate around the inner recesses of the island. But you attract every sort of danger, so it's probably best if you don't stray too far from me," he warned.
"Aw, you mean wrestling with giant snakes isn't part of the tour? Damn!" I exclaimed, laying the sarcasm on thick.
It was probably unfair of me to give him a hard time about his relentless agenda to entertain me while also wearing me out. Over the last few days, we had hiked over what seemed like every square inch of Isle Esme.
Today, we were hacking through the jungle to get to a sunken cave on the southern tip of the island.
Because Edward was refusing to run with me these days (it was better to wear out the sex-crazed human), we didn't reach the lagoon that concealed the mouth of the cave until right around lunchtime.
As if by magic, Edward produced a romantic picnic lunch, complete with a checkered blanket from the confines of his rucksack.
"I thought you might like to try some of the local fares. Those are pamonhas. Kaure left them for you," Edward added as I palmed one of the small parcels wrapped in a corn husk. It looked very similar to a tamale. Once I had shucked off the husk, I discovered it tasted just like a tamale too.
The delicious corn cake inside was moist and delicious and I detected a hint of cheese, but the salty, white crumbles were a variety I'd never tried before. It was wonderful!
I devoured two of them and was eyeing a third, but thought it best if I didn't fill up before going swimming.
"So how far down is this cave?" I eyed the placid, murky depths with no small amount of trepidation.
"Not far. Only about 12 feet," Edward replied, picking up what was left of our picnic and stuffing it into his bag.
"I'm not sure I'm that strong of a swimmer," I admitted while stripping off the layer of clothing I had on over my bathing suit.
Noticing me start to undress, Edward turned his back to me, subtly giving me privacy, I guessed. I inwardly groaned. Privacy was the last thing I wanted.
Already wearing a pair of light grey boardshorts, Edward made quick work of his t-shirt. I gawked momentarily at his impressively broad shoulders that tapered down to his narrow waist.
His shorts hung dangerously low on his hips, and I was suddenly filled with the desire to run my fingers over the two small dimples in his lower back that disappeared into the waistband of his shorts as if to point to the beauty of his powerful and perfectly sculpted gluteal muscles below.
Alice only saw fit to bequeath me with one one-piece bathing suit. It was bright white; the rest were all scary string bikinis that were more string than bikini. The neckline was a steep v, and the leg holes were cut very high at the hips, almost to my waist, so high that it afforded very little coverage to my backside. I tugged self-consciously at the suit.
"Well, then it's a good thing you won't be swimming. Not for this part, anyway," Edward turned to face me then. I didn't quite understand his expression as he took in my appearance. Wistful, maybe?
"I won't?" I chirped, surprise coloring my voice.
"Nope," he said, popping the 'p.' "How long can you hold your breath?"
"Maybe 45 seconds before it starts getting uncomfortable?" I guessed. And then he crouched down so I could climb on his back.
"Good. I won't need nearly that much time," I could hear the smile in his voice. "Lock your legs around me and keep them there. I don't want to accidentally kick you if your legs come free," he explained in a gentle voice. I did as he asked, crossing my ankles just above his pelvis.
I rested my cheek against the thick cords of muscle spanning his shoulders. I was now clinging to his back like a baby koala. He reached back and petted my hair.
"Hold on tight, spider monkey! On three..."
"One...Two…"
I steeled my grip on his shoulders and took a sharp breath in, expanding my lungs as far as they would go. I nodded against him, ready.
He didn't actually say "three" before he exploded off the ground. Then my body froze with the shock of being suddenly cold, wet, and submerged.
We were diving with such speed I didn't even have time to register the pressure change in my ears. I knew we were passing through the mouth of the cave when I felt the temperature drop by several degrees. And then the force of gravity seemed to change direction as Edward swam, or rather, rocketed toward the surface.
He burst through the opaque blackness with an explosive splash of water. Edward's momentum slowed down as he breached the surface. Mine, however, did not. Like an unbelted crash test dummy, I went careening through the air, coughing and flailing until I crash-landed into the cold, hard, outstretched arms of Edward who was anxiously waiting to catch me below.
He rubbed my back in small circles as I coughed and sputtered. When my chest finally stopped burning, he looked at me with a guilty expression.
"Physics was never my favorite," he cringed. The dim light from the natural skylight in the high ceiling glinted off his teeth. "I'm sorry. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. But why didn't you just let me fall in the water? It probably would have hurt less," I said rubbing the throbbing spot on my back that had made contact against his stone arms when he caught me. The guilty look returned.
"I was trying to prevent you from falling into the water coughing as you were," he explained. "I didn't want to have to perform CPR in deep water." His voice, saturated with remorse, echoed off the cave walls.
For the first time, I took in our surroundings. It was nothing more than an air pocket in a much larger cave system. Shaped like an upside-down funnel, white light filtered in through an opening in the cratered, dome ceiling no more than 3 feet wide, and maybe 20 feet high.
"Wow! This is amazing!" I exclaimed, the words bouncing off the walls.
Edward's pale face lit up. He was never happier than when he did something to make me smile, especially if it required his vampire abilities. It was like he used them to try to make up for his lack of humanity.
I would need to have a talk with him about that. I didn't need any consolation prizes. In fact, his "otherness" was one of my favorite things about him.
"I'm so glad you approve, Mrs. Cullen," he purred, planting his lips on the curve of my shoulder. "And before you ask, I assure you there are no anacondas," he smiled against my skin, holding me tightly to his chest.
"Well I wouldn't mind if you wanted to swallow me whole," I waggled my eyebrows at him.
"Bella…" his voice was full of reproach.
"What? It's not like I made a joke about the anaconda in your shorts." My lips pressed tightly together, fighting the grin that threatened to spread across my face.
A growl. "Bella!" And then I was spluttering again. I scrambled to keep my head above water as he dropped his hold around me and was 10 feet away before I could even blink.
"Nice," I scowled, treading water.
"Are you going to behave?" He leveled a glare at me.
"Unlikely," I smiled, water dribbling out of the side of my mouth.
Edward sighed. "Are we really going to have this argument here?"
"Why not? Instead of a cage match, it'll be a cave match." On a roll now, I was grinning freely; his lips were twitching too. And then the cave was filled with the boisterous sounds of our laughter ricocheting off the cavernous walls.
His arms were around me again. "Ridiculous woman," he growled into the skin of my throat, kissing me there. The vibrations sent a chill up my spine which he misinterpreted.
"You must be getting cold," he said, putting some space between us while still holding me afloat.
"I like the cold," I insisted, pulling myself closer to him.
"Since when?" he asked in utter disbelief.
"Since you," I said simply. His breath caught audibly in his throat, and then he crushed me to his chest in a sudden embrace. After a time, and needing to breathe, I tapped him on the shoulder and he released me immediately.
Horrified, he opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off with a kiss. "No apologies. I love you, too," and kissed him again on the tip of his nose.
"So...um...if we weren't going to play with anacondas," I said pointedly, "what did you plan to do with me once you brought me here?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Well, now I'm thinking about leaving you here if you don't stop talking about anacondas," he playfully tugged the end of my ponytail.
I knew it was a joke, nothing I should get bent out of shape about. But my face couldn't help but fall a little bit as soon as he said it. Until I was changed, and maybe not even then, I wouldn't find jokes about him leaving me places particularly funny.
Edward blanched, seeming to regret the words as soon as they were out of his mouth.
"Oh my god, Bella, I-I'm so sorry! That was unforgivably thoughtless. I would never-" He closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose. "That was the stupidest thing I've ever said."
I put my hand on his face, wanting him to open his eyes. Eventually, he did.
"Second stupidest," I corrected with half a smile. "And I forgive you." I hoped he knew I wasn't just talking about his insensitive comment.
He nodded gravely in understanding. "Second stupidest," he agreed.
After a long moment Edward asked, "Has getting married," he looked like he was struggling for the right words, "not...helped at all to calm your fears? I know you have a somewhat jaded view of marriage, but Bella, to me marriage is forever. I could never...I would never leave you." His tawny eyes begged me to hear the truth in his words.
"I know that," I said seriously. "And being married does help. A lot. But I think," I paused, carefully choosing my words. "These last few days of you being so upset with yourself after I've been, you know, hurt...and the physical distance you've kept from me, it's just bringing some stuff back up," I shrugged noncommittally.
Edward's eyebrows shot halfway to his hairline after I made that little confession, then his angel face crumpled with grief.
"All I want to do is make you happy, and I'm failing at every turn," his smile was sad. "What can I do?"
I knew the real answer to that would just start an argument, so instead, I said, "You can start by getting us back on solid ground. My legs are starting to go numb," I said with a laugh.
"Your wish is my command," he grinned. I giggled, thinking about the scene in Aladdin where the Genie busts Aladdin, his monkey, and the magic carpet out of the Cave of Wonders. I felt overwhelmed with gratitude that my genie wanted to grant all of my wishes, forever.
I started to scramble around to his back when his arms tightened around me.
"I think I better hang on to you this time," he smirked. I looked at him in confusion. "I can manage with one arm to swim," he explained, crossing my legs behind his back this time. This brought my thinly covered core in alignment with his groin. We both groaned at the contact.
"For the love of all that's holy," Edward gritted through his teeth. "No funny business, Bella. I mean it! I'd rather this didn't turn into a rescue mission. My CPR certification from the Red Cross expired about 60 years ago," his velvet voice was stern and his brow was furrowed.
"Scout's honor!" I held up the three-fingered salute.
"You were never a Girl Scout..." One perfect eyebrow arched in suspicion.
"Hmm..that's true. I guess my honor can't be trusted then," I cackled and pressed my hips lightly into his.
He growled but didn't loosen his hold. "You're incorrigible."
"Yup," I grinned. "And you're stuck with me."
Edward's smile mirrored mine, then. "However will I cope?" he asked, his expression was utterly content. He kissed me then, soft and lingering. And before I could get any other ideas, his mouth pulled away but he left his forehead pressed to mine. "Ready to go, Mrs. Cullen?" His breath tasted sweet on my tongue.
I nodded my head against his.
"On three.." he repeated the cue. "One...Two...
I sucked in a chestful of air, and since I wouldn't need both hands to hold on this time, I pinched my nose shut.
Already wet and cold, Edward cutting powerfully through the water as gracefully as a marlin came as less of a shock this time. And when we broke through the surface on the other side, the arm that was locked rigidly around my back held me firmly in place against his chest.
The chill of his wintry skin pierced the thin lycra of my swimsuit, pebbling my nipples into hard peaks against his chest. Edward's breath stuttered in his chest. Knowing his rebuff was imminent, I seized the opportunity to smash my lips into his while grinding my hips against his growing desire.
For the briefest of seconds, Edward kissed me back. I felt him stiffen against me, and then he was gone. My arms ached at the loss of him. I bobbed around the water looked for him, but it was as if he had vanished.
I paddled toward the edge of the lagoon, and as I was about to scrabble out of the water onto the bank, a sparkling white hand appeared in front of me. I reached for him, and when I looked up, his beautiful face was blocking out the sun giving him a halo-like effect. That, combined with his sparkling skin made me wonder if maybe I died and went to heaven.
Edward pulled me out of the water with ease and wrapped an oversized beach towel around my shoulders.
"I think that's probably enough cave spelunking for one day," he said, my favorite crooked smile flashing across his face.
My mind being the gutter it was, I blushed and laughed in earnest. "You make it too easy, sometimes, Mr. Cullen."
**A/N** A shortie bonus chapter to cap off your weekend. I had fun going off book for this one. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Your feedback seriously makes my day. Be well!