"I really had a good time, today..." admitted Jessie, while we were walking home "Thank you"

"Why are you saying that?" I joked "Don't you usually have fun?"

"No, no" pointed out Jessie "But, as you can understand, a Michelin starred restaurant is different our usual cafeteria: you couldn't choose a better place for our last dinner of the year..."

"You don't have to thank me, but my rapping abilities..." I reminded "It was one of the benefits that the victory at Denver gave me..."

"So you'll be at my house tomorrow night?" asked my girlfriend "We're watching the Times Square concert..."

"Obviously!" I accepted

We were little by little approaching to Kyle's house, and we could hear in distinct voices getting clearer and clearer: "You Jewish dickface!"

"Just repeat that another time, fat ass..."

I facepalmed: "Jesus Christ, what could have happened now?"

"Well, if we accelerate we will discover it..." commented Jessie

When we arrived to our destination, I could see Kenny and Stan that held Cartman and Kyle: the faces of the last two were covered with a lot of little scars: "What the hell is happening here?" I asked

"Leave me, Stan" ordered Kyle "This is the day, I'll kill him..."

"Guys?" I asked again

"Come here, freaking Jew" encouraged Cartman "I'm waiting..."

"STOP!" I shouted by sheer lung power

The garden fell into silence: the kids weren't used to hear me shouting: "Now can you tell me what the fuck is happening here, please?" I demanded

"The fat ass is implying that Kyle's religion is only a way to get money..." explained Stan

"He's saying that he's Jewish only because he wants a higher salary..." added Kenny

"Could you say the opposite?" asked Cartman "Every single Jew has a strong economic position, you do that only to get a better work in future..."

"Say that again, let's see if you're brave enough..." challenged Kyle

"Ok, time's up" I concluded "Let's go to the bathroom, we're gonna sanitize your wounds: thank you to Stan and Kenny, you can go home..."

Cartman opened his mouth to say something: "And I don't wanna hear any single word" I ordered

The way I spoke induced everybody to obey, and after Cartman and Kyle were medicated, the first one left the house and I could finally talk to my host brother: "What the hell have you in that head?" I asked "You hit one of your friends..."

"It was for a good reason" pointed out Kyle

"Violence is always the worst choice" I declared "Cartman he's Cartman, you can't change him"

"If only he could see how pure Jewish faith is..." commented Kyle

"But he can't go to Jerusalem and discover it, Kyle" I cut "And now sorry, but I have to bring Jessie home..."

Probably I shouldn't have said that last thing...

My host brother kept silent for the entire evening: I thought he was only angry, but I understood the real reason of his silence only in the middle of the night, when I got up for no apparent reason and I saw a piece of paper on my nightstand, so I rubbed my eyes and started to read what was written on it.

There were a few, simple words on that sheet: "Thanks for the idea. I'm gonna make it, but Cartman still doesn't know that... See you soon!"

I initially didn't get what he meant, but then I looked at Kyle's bed: it was totally empty, and that was the moment I realized what had happened.

The first thing I did was having a heart attack, and the second one was composing a number on my phone: a sleepy voice answered: "Hello?"

"Stan, Kyle's taken Cartman to Israel" I only said

There was a long moment of silence, then he answered: "I'm coming"

I took a rucksack, left a post it on the fridge for Kyle's parents, and a few minutes later I was driving to Kenny's home with Stan: "This is unbelievable" affirmed Stan, who also had a rucksack with him "How could Kyle do that? It's more a Cartman thing..."

"I know, but it doesn't matter now, we have to take them home" I reminded, stopping in front of a decadent house "Where is Kenny's bedroom?"

"On the right side" answered Stan, getting down of the car

I followed his instructions and beat three times on the window: Kenny woke up, opened it and murmured: "Hey, guys"

"Put your parka on and come with us" ordered Stan

"What? Where?" he asked "It's 1 a.m..."

"To the airport" I answered "Then I'll explain you everything..."

After I picked up Kenny, we headed to Denver Airport, while Stan looked for cheap flights to Jerusalem on his phone: "So?" I informed myself

"Nothing" declared the kid "The cheapest one is 500$ for each person..."

"Goddamn it!" I exclaimed "I don't have so much money!"

"So we're going to the airport for nothing..." summed up Kenny

"We're gonna find a solution" I affirmed "If it's the last thing I do"

We arrived at Denver, where I immediately saw a series of wooded boxes: "What about..."

"No way, dude!" refused Stan "I'm not gonna spend thirteen hours in a box"

Meanwhile, Kenny kept looking at a man that was nervously smoking at the entrance of the airport: "What's up, Kenny?" I asked

"I have an idea" he suddenly said, approaching to that strange man and starting talking with him

"What is he doing?" asked Stan

"Don't ask me..." I answered

After a minute, Kenny returned: his eyes were sparkling and he exclaimed: "Guys, we're leaving in fifteen minutes!"

"What!?" I was shocked "How could you..."

"That man is a pilot, and I remember that he went once to my house because my parents had to give him something..." explained Kenny

"Really? What did they give him?" I asked

"It doesn't matter" declared the kid "But he decided to return the favor and bring us to Jerusalem"

"You're the best, Kenny!" I exclaimed "Let's go!"

"Ehm, G..." Stan held my hand and murmured "Kenny's family sold meth, are you sure that you want to get on a plane piloted by a drug addicted?"

"I don't care!" I decided "We have to take those two home, whatever it takes..."

I admit that I wasn't convinced of my choice anymore when, in the afternoon, we landed in Jerusalem: "Yeah, he's clearly a tweeker" I commented, getting off the plane stumbling and with a sick expression on my face

"Every five minutes the entire plane shaked" added Stan, with a face similar to mine "Incredible"

"I think I'm gonna throw up..." mumbled Kenny

"There is no time, we have to find Kyle and Cartman as soon as possible" I reminded "Let's find a bus that goes to the city..."

When we arrived at the bus stop, a terrible surprise was waiting for us: a big panel has took the place of the timetable: "Service suspended from 5 p.m. on 31st December" read Stan

"Why didn't I think about it?" I asked myself, facepalming "Because of the time difference, we've lost our bus..."

"What are we gonna do now?" asked Kenny

"Don't panic" I reassured "Here there is a list of taxi drivers that are working today: I'll try to call them..."

I called the first one: "No answer" I declared

I tried with the successive: "No answer" I repeated

The third one was another failure: "Goddamn it!" I swore "No answer!"

"I think this is the time to panic..." pointed out Stan

"No, there are other two drivers" I reminded, calling another one of them

This time, a man answered: "Good morning!" I said "We are at the airport, could you bring us to the city?"

I was happy, but I suddenly changed my expression when I heard his voice tone, and closed the call: "He was surely drunk..." I declared "Let's call the last one, and may God be with us..."

I composed the number and kept silent for a time that seemed infinite, while Stan and Kenny looked at me, worried.

I finally heard a normal voice: "Hello?"

"Hello" I greeted "Are you able to bring three people to the city?"

"Yes" confirmed the man "But it will cost you 260 shekel..."

I murmured, muting my phone: "Stan, could you please transform 260 shekel into dollars with your converter?"

Stan obeyed, and answered: "Almost 80 dollars..."

The price was really high, but I sighed and accepted: "Ok"

"I'll be there in five minutes" concluded the man, ending the call

I put the phone into my pocket and commented: "I think I'll be poorer after this trip, but at this point I'll tell the driver the precise place where we need to go, doesn't matter how much it will be..."

"Do you know where they are?" asked Kenny, surprised

"Kyle is Jewish, there is only one place where he could bring a sceptic..." I affirmed

After some minutes on a asphalted street (thank God) we reached the Western Wall: "Thank you and wait for us, please" I told the taxi driver "We're coming back in a while..."

"Well, I should have thought about it..." commented Stan

We passed the security check and, when we arrived in front of the wall, we finally saw the reason why we had gone there: "Kyle! Cartman!" exclaimed Stan

The kids turned around, speechless, and hugged their friends who had run to them: they were really cute, but I couldn't say the same thing of myself: "Ehm... hi, G" greeted Kyle, shyly

"Hi, G?" I repeated, then I started speaking just like Eminem in Rap God "Hi, G!? Have you any idea of how worried I was? You're a douchebag! You can't go alone to the opposite side of the ocean. Just think about your parents! You have been irresponsible, selfish, a real moron..."

I was panting, but in front of Kyle's sad face I found the strength to open my arms: "Now screw you and come here, you can't imagine how happy I am to see you..."

Kyle smiled and hugged me for a long time, then I asked: "Did you manage to make Cartman appreciate your culture?"

"No, I hate this place" declared the kid "I can't stay in a place so full of Jews for more than one minute. Furthermore, Kyle has sedated me and I travelled in a shitty wooden box for hours..."

"Dude, you're seriously crazy..." I commented, looking at Kyle, before declaring "Let's go back to the airport, we have a new year to welcome, and we'll do that in Colorado..."

"Ok, but wait a minute, I have to tie one of my shoes..." informed Cartman, kneeling down and giving his shoulders to the wall

We suddenly heard the sound of a tear: his pants had just broken and Cartman was basically showing his butt to the holiest place of the Jewish religion!

The crowd rumbled, then we hear a scream: "He has dishonored the Wall! Take him!"

"Run, guys! Run!" I exclaimed, escaping from that place with the kids, with Cartman, red in his face, covering the hole in his trousers

We fastly reached our taxi, and Stan exclaimed: "To the airport, as fast as you can!"

"See, Kyle?" I asked "He disrespects Jewish people also when he doesn't want to..."

"They are still there" informed Kenny, looking back: there was a large number of cars that were catching for us.

"And we can't take the plane" added Kyle, reading the news on his phone

"Are you joking or what!?" asked Stan, worried

"A plane was hijacked while crossing the Israelian sky a few minutes ago, so all civil flights are blocked until tomorrow" read the kid

"Goddamn it!" I exclaimed, then I told the taxi driver "Plan B: let's reach the sea, we have to find an alternative way"

He luckily obeyed, and Stan commented: "Screw you and your tight trousers, Cartman!"

"It's all Kyle's fault!" replied the kid "He brought me here!"

"Shut up, fat ass!" exclaimed Kyle

"You're incredible" I commented again "You could fight also in front of the POTUS..."

We reached the coastline in forty minutes, but then we had to stop: "What do we do now?" asked Kenny, looking at the sea "They are still so close!"

"I have an idea" declared Kyle, jumping on the car roof, closing his eyes and opening his arms.

After some seconds of nothing, Cartman asked: "Ehm... what the fuck are you doing? The people that want to kill me are almost here..."

"I'm trying to open the waters" replied Kyle

"You can't open the water!" exclaimed Stan

"I know, I just want to piss Cartman off..." laughed Kyle, getting down and paying the taxi driver "I think I had to do that..."

"Goddamn you!" shouted the fat kid

I pointed to a white spot into the water: "There is a catamaran, we could take it"

"Are you able to navigate?" asked Stan, while we were reaching the boat

"Yes, if I just remembered how..." I declared, jumping on the boat ad moving the sail "I did that some years ago..."

"Come on, G!" encouraged Cartman, looking at the cars "We don't have much time..."

"Please, work..." I implored, when the catamaran finally moved "YES! Jump in, guys!"

The kids sat on the boat and we finally reached a safe position, leaving the rioters on the land: "Bye, dumbasses!" exclaimed Cartman

"Don't call them like that, Cartman!" reproached Kyle "They are proud Jews like me..."

"Ok, now by my calculations and with this great wind we should reach Haifa in thirty minutes..." I declared, moving the sail to exploit the wind

"Haifa?" asked Stan

"Yes, there is an American base in Haifa" I explained "So we could reach it and ask them to take one of their flights that bring soldiers back to America..."

"Nice idea" commented Kyle

After some minutes, while the sun was going down, we finally found an American ship, and the kids started shouting: "Hey! Hey! We are Americans!"

The captain noticed us and was really kind to pick us up and listen to our story: after a rapid consultation with his walkie talkie, he declared: "We are really happy to welcome you on today's flight, that leaves in twenty minutes"

"You're really awesome, captain" I thanked "I hope that we can pay you back one day..."

"Maybe with a military service..." joked the soldier

The kids shaked their head, and I laughed: "Maybe it's better to take the plane..."

"I think it's almost useless, we won't be back in time for the midnight..." sighed Stan, sadly

"The last word is not said yet" I declared "Jets are fast, and now time difference plays with us..."

My calculations were modestly perfect: we landed in Denver at 8:00 p.m. and, when we reached my car, I breathed heavily and commented: "Wow, what a day!"

"The best New Year's Eve of my entire life!" declared Kenny, when I started driving

"You know, guys, I've learnt something today" affirmed Kyle

"That you mustn't leave your land without warning anyone?" suggested Stan

"No" denied Kyle "I've learnt hat some minds are not developed enough to open to something different..."

"So can you leave me alone and avoid to break my balls now?" asked Cartman

"Yes, but only until the next year" pointed out Kyle

We all laughed, and after I had left the kids to Kyle's house, where all their families were spending the last evening of the year, I reached Jessie's: "Hey!" greeted my girlfriend, kissing me "You look tired, what have you done?"

"You have no idea..." I smiled, sitting on the sofa and taking a class of water "And now, enjoy the concert..."

At the midnight I videocalled Kyle and wished a happy new year to all the people there, kids and adults: a chapter of my exchange year had ended, but a new one was starting...