Come January my sister hardly left her bed. She became so sick, the doctor almost had to hospitalize her.
However, Carlisle disagreed due to the influenza not being cleared yet.
So, we all did our best to try to help her out of her gloom.
It looked like she was barely hanging in there. For her baby, and it killed me to see her slowly fade away.
Sadly, it seemed only her baby would be able to help her. I hoped and prayed to God that seeing her baby helped bring her back to reality.
Something I expressed to Esme and Chessie as I quietly paced back and forth before them one night.
"I just don't understand… How can loving someone do this to a person? Why would anyone want to fall in love if death is the price?"
"Sometimes loving someone can be the best thing to happen to someone, just like it can be someone's downfall, but that doesn't happen to everyone, dear," Esme explained.
I turned to look at her in disbelief. It happened to my mother, and now it seemed to be happening to my sister, Lucia. "Either that is a bold lie or the women in my family are truly foolish and selfish," I replied, hurt.
"Why would you say that?" Esme asked as Chessie stared at me in sad understanding.
"To be honest, I don't think a woman should love a man more than her own children. My mother was foolish, she loved my father, a man who hardly ever came home, neglecting her most of the time. Yet, she died, selfishly lost in her own pain from my father's loss that she stopped trying to fight the influenza, she just stopped. I'll never forget the pain in her eyes as the doctor informed her of father's death, the light went out in her eyes, and within moments she ceased to exist. I don't expect to understand what love is, but I will never forgive my sister if she lets herself die…" I whispered.
"Oh Bee, ya dah did love ya mam, more than ya know. Sure, his actions in the past didn't reflect it but he did. I witnessed it meself." Chessie informs me.
"Then what changed?" I asked.
"Ya olda brutha died of milk poisoning. It hurt both of ya mam and ya dah. Ya dah grew distant, colder even, but that didn't stop ya, mam, from loving him. Then ya sister, Lucia, arrived a couple of months later, but ya dah never truly got over little Jeremiah's death. Though everything changed after you were born, ya dah attempted to be home more, to help ya mam more often." Chessie explained.
That cleared up one of many questions I had of my parents, but there was still one more. How is it that my parents and the Masens had known each other for so long when we only had met them last year?
"Why didn't our parents ever tell us of the Masens?" I asked.
"It was a rule ya dah had. He didn't mix his work life with his personal life. Sure ya dah and Mr. Masen were friends, life long in fact, but for some reason both agreed it would be for the best." Chessie explained.
I can imagine why. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be to lose a son and watch your friend's son every day?
I was sad, yet, I knew now why our parents had hidden it from my sister and me.
May 16, 1918~
It is just after lunch that I hear my sister's calls to me from her room.
I was in the sitting room, reading a book when I heard her scream for help, causing me to quickly scramble out of my seat and rush to call Carlisle.
It is exactly fifteen minutes later that he and Esme arrive. I watched worriedly as Chessie rushed out of the kitchen and up the stairs with a large bin of boiling water.
Esme led me to the kitchen, before attempting to distract me by serving me a small snack, and sitting down next to me. She tried to distract me, and soothe my anxiety but it didn't work, and I only managed to swallow four bites before pushing away the plate and heading back to the sitting room.
It seemed like hours passed by, as I pace the length of the room, anxiously.
Eventually, Esme and I turn to the sound of a pair of footsteps that are rushing hurriedly down the stairs.
My eyes land on the small bundle in Chessie's arms as she walks in.
"How's Lucy?" I ask, stepping closer to her.
"She is tired. Carlisle is makin' her comfortable. She did beautifully." Chessie says, bouncing the baby as it whimpers.
"Is it…?" I ask, in awe.
"A beautiful lassie," Chessie says, slowly handing her to me.
I feel tears fill my eyes as soon as she's in my arms. "She's beautiful…" I whisper, thickly as I stare down at her.
She has the same beautiful hair color as Elizabeth, and her eyes are a unique dark grayish-blue I have ever seen.
Esme smiles at her, silently asking me if she could hold her. I nod, smiling at her before giving her the baby.
I smile as she sits down on my mother's old chair before I quietly head upstairs to see Lucy.
As I reach the room, my heart suddenly speeds up. Taking a moment to myself before knocking.
Carlisle slowly opens the door, a somber expression is etched on his face.
"What's wrong, Carlisle?" I whispered as he stepped back to let me into the room.
"I'm afraid your sister is fading…" He finally said.
I turned to look at him sharply, making sure I heard correctly. His sad expression only confirmed what I had suspected months ago.
I quickly moved towards the bed, where she laid. "Luc," I whispered, brokenly.
"Bells.'" She replied, tiredly.
"Lucy, you can't go. Your daughter needs you. Gracie Mae needs you! Please, don't leave!" I cried, desperately.
"I'm so tired, Bee… I can't do it anymore… I'm not strong enough. My fight is now over, you can watch over my Gracie…" she replied, exhausted.
"Please, don't leave me," I whispered, as she weakly clutched my hand.
"I'm sorry I broke my promise to you, Bell. Please forgive me." She said, swallowing thickly.
I nodded, silently grabbing the cup of water Carlisle handed me and bringing it to her dried lips.
"P-promise me, you'll take care of my Gracie." She finally rasped.
I stared at her shocked, not knowing what to say before I wordlessly nodded. "I- I promise," I said, as tears fell down my face.
"Thank you, Be…" she whispered, finally closing her eyes.
I felt as her grip went flaccid, and heard as her breathing slowed until it finally stopped in a small sigh.
"I'll miss you so much..." I whispered, tearfully.
As her skin grew colder to the touch, I knew she had gone. It was then that I let out the most gut-wrenching scream, realizing all my family was dead. I was the only Swan left, along with baby Gracie.
I wanted to scream my pain out. Scream to the heavens. Why had this happened?! How could this happen?! I needed someone to blame… but there was no one to blame. Nothing but the pain was left here…
"No, no, no...she can't be gone…" I whispered, heartbroken.
"Isabella...sweetheart, I need you to calm down. Otherwise, I'll have to sedate you. I know your last living relative has just passed, but there is a baby girl down there that needs you right now. You are all she has left in the world. She needs you, sweetheart. She will always need you." Carlisle spoke, his arms holding me up as I felt my legs give out from under me.
Just like that, I knew what I had to do.
I waited until I could finally think past the agonizing pain that my sister's passing left and finally made up my mind.
I needed to go to Gracie. She needed me.
If no one else could fight for her. I would. She needed me just like I needed her, and I would not give up, never.
It took all the energy I had to stay strong, through it all.
I named the baby as Lucy asked, Gracie Mae Masen.
The following week flew right by.
Esme and Carlisle helped me make the preparations for Lucy's burial. Just like my parents, no one could attend, but they did send their condolences in the form of flowers, baked goods, and meals.
That day, only Gracie Mae and I were present along with Chessie, Carlisle, and Esme.
I couldn't believe it. I had outlived all of my family, no one else was left here with me. Only Gracie and I remained of the Swan name.
It took me a couple of minutes before I could leave my sister's grave. Just like my parents, and the Masens' before I asked Lucy to watch over us, and to give me strength because I was now going to be alone.
This time the wind didn't howl, but six beautiful white butterflies began to fly around us moments later.
I knew then it would be okay.