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Chapter 12

"Well, I can't say that I am sorry he's dead," Mrs. Hughes told Mary, after she filled her in on the events that had taken place.

"Me either," Mary agreed. "But I am worried about Anna. She rushed inside when I told her the news and I haven't seen her since," Mary's eyes scanned over the crowd once more, hoping to see Anna's blonde hair.

"I'll run in and check on her," Mrs. Hughes offered. However, before she could turn to head inside, both Mrs. Hughes and Mary heard Isobel's voice behind them. They turned to find her flushed.

"Isobel? Is everything alright?" Mary asked, concerned. Isobel nodded.

"Anna is in labor," Isobel filled them both in. "I need a room for her. Right now, she is in the boot rom, but she'll need somewhere more comfortable."

"Put her in my room," Mary insisted.

"Lady Mary…" Mrs. Hughes began to disagree. However, Mary would have none of it.

"My room," she repeated. "And get her in one of my gowns. Make sure she is comfortable. Then call Dr. Clarkson," she ordered.

"Actually," Isobel cut in. "I think I should be the one to deliver the baby. We can have Dr. Clarkson on standby, if there is an emergency. I have delivered plenty of babies on my own."

"But…"

"With Anna's trauma with that man, it might be best she have a woman," Isobel added, her words quiet so that only the two of them heard her. Mary hadn't realized her mother-in-law knew what had happened to Anna and she wanted to ask how she had found out, but at the moment, Anna needed someone with her. They didn't need to keep discussing out here.

"Yes, I quite agree," Mrs. Hughes spoke.

"Right," Mary replied. "You two go to Anna, get her comfortable, and I'll find Mr. Bates and let him know."

The two older woman did as they were told and Mary searched out Bates. He wasn't hard to find. She found him welcoming her Papa back to Downton Abbey. In all of the excitement of the afternoon, she had missed his car coming up.

Mary quickened her steps and made her way over to the car where her father was still speaking to Mr. Bates.

"Papa, how wonderful that you are back," Mary genuinely told her father with a smile. "But I must steal Bates from you, his wife is in labor."

Bates held on tighter to his cane and quickly glanced around.

"Oh, my dear fellow! Congratulations! I had no idea!" her father boomed, giving John a congratulatory pat on his upper arm.

"Thank you, my lord," Bates replied, his lips curved downward into a worried frown. "Where is she?" He directed his question to Mary.

"She'll be in my room," Mary told him. "Go on up and go through the front door."

Bates didn't ask any more questions and headed inside. Once he was out of earshot, her father turned to her and furrowed his brows.

"Why on earth is your lady's maid giving birth in your room?"

"Why not?" Mary simply asked back. Her father made an unamused face, but just sighed. Their conversation was cut short by her mother and Edith walking up. This allowed Mary to slip back inside. She wanted to check on Anna.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"Mrs. Hughes?" Mr. Carson's voice made Elsie jump slightly, as she readjusted the extra sheets and towels in her hands. "What are you doing?"

"Anna is in labor, Mr. Carson. She's having the baby in Lady Mary's room – per Lady Mary's request, so I don't want to hear anything about it," Mrs. Hughes quipped.

"Right, of course," Mr. Carson simply replied.

Mrs. Hughes eyed Mr. Carson carefully. He didn't seem the least conflicted with this news. She had prepared for his face to turn a shade of scarlet, as he attempted not to argue with her. But he seemed perfectly fine with it. This didn't seem much like him. She wanted to ask questions, but Anna was upstairs and they needed these items that were in her arms.

She began up the stairs, leaving Mr. Carson behind.

When she reached the hallway, she could hear faint cries from Lady Mary's bedroom. Her lips twisted to one side and she hurried to be able to help.

Entering the room, she found Anna laying in the bed and Mr. Bates sitting next to her, holding her cheeks lovingly within his hands.

"I can't do this," she was crying. "I don't want this."

"You can do this," Mr. Bates assured her. "You are strong; you're a fighter. I'll be right outside the door, waiting for you."

Anna softly cried. Her hands were tight around Mr. Bates' wrists and she seemed to be holding on to him for dear life, terrified. Elsie's heart broke for them both. She almost mentioned that it may be best for Mr. Bates to stay, though she knew it was against tradition. But none of this was like it should have been. Poor Anna was about to go through another life altering event that she hadn't asked for. While this should have been a happy time for her and Mr. Bates, it was instead a frightful one for the girl. She had doubts that Anna was going to fall in love instantly with this child, like Mr. Bates claimed she would. But that was likely hopeful of Mr. Bates, because he saw the same thing she did. Anna was not ready

Mr. Bates' hands slid from Anna's cheeks and he kissed the top of her head. Elsie heard him whisper something to her and then he slipped from the room, quietly. Anna was turned away from her and Mrs. Crawley, crying into the pillow. Elsie walked over to her, sat on the bed, and placed her hand on Anna's shoulder.

The door opened and Anna turned expectantly, only to fall back into the bed when she saw it was Lady Mary.

"If it's alright, I'd like to be in here too." This made Elsie give her a warm smile. It was rare that she saw this soft side of Lady Mary's, but she had learned over the past few months just how much Lady Mary cared for Anna. And Anna was going to need as much support as possible to make it through this.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

John hated this. He should be in there with his wife, not out here pacing the hallway. Anna was absolutely petrified of what was to come. He knew she wasn't scared of the pain of childbirth, but of the birth of this baby. He clutched his hand tightly around the top of his cane, as Alex Green's face entered his memory. That bastard had stolen so much from him and Anna. His Anna had always been so strong and unbreakable. She never wavered while he was in prison, working hard to find a way to free him. And now she was the one in a different sort of prison, one that was within her mind, and John didn't know how to free her. Green had broken her spirit and soul.

His breaths began to shorten and he could feel tears threatening to escape his eyes.

"Bates!" A cheerful voice made John quickly wipe beneath his eyes and turn to find Lord Grantham smiling up at him. "Come, have a drink."

"I should probably…"

"It will take a while," Lord Grantham broke in, "Trust that they know what they are doing."

John wanted to argue, but there was little he could say. Lord Grantham didn't know the truth of the matter and while it would have been nice to have him to speak to on it, he couldn't share it with him. Lord Grantham would likely tell Lady Grantham, who might let it slip to Ms. Baxter. No, it was too dangerous to share.

He followed Lord Grantham back into his parlor, where Lord Grantham insisted he sit while he made their drinks. It was an odd feeling, being served by his lordship, but John didn't say anything about it. His thoughts were all with his wife. When Lord Grantham offered him his glass, he took it and thanked him. His brows furrowed and his knees began to bounce up and down with worry.

Lord Grantham chuckled.

"Oh, Bates! I understand how you are feeling. It's a bit nerve wracking when your wife is having your child. I remember when Cora was in labor with Mary. I paced the entire staircase for hours. That night, my legs were sore and I could hardly stand."

John gave him a half-hearted smile.

"Your wife and your child will be just fine, Bates. They are in good hands," Lord Grantham promised him.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

According to Mrs. Crawley, the labor was progressing well, but Anna was quite a mess. She wouldn't speak to any of the women in the room and just cried softly between the contractions. But the contractions were coming stronger now, making Anna's entire body to tense and her face to grow red.

Elsie was shocked to see Lady Mary lifting a wet cloth up to Anna's forehead in an attempt to soothe her. She had half expected Lady Mary to just sit at the sidelines. But she had been wrong with her assumptions. Lady Mary remained right at Anna's side, holding her hand and telling her she was doing well.

"It's time," Mrs. Crawley told Anna. Anna's head shook.

"It's alright, dear," Elsie assured her, wiping her sweaty and wet hair off her cheek. "You can do this."

Anna gritted her teeth. It took little to no time before Mrs. Crawley was announcing that she saw the top of the baby's head. She told Anna just another push or two and they would have the baby.

A cry filled the room.

"It's a girl!" Mrs. Crawley announced.

"Did you hear that," Elsie said to Anna, her lips curled into a smile. "You've got a little girl."

Anna's body just fell back against the pillows and she turned her face away from them all.

"Here," Mrs. Crawley offered, attempting to hand the baby to Anna. "Hold your daughter while I finish up."

Anna didn't answer. She didn't move. She was no longer crying and instead had a dejected look upon her face

"I'll take her," Elsie broke in, lifting the baby from Mrs. Crawley's arms. Her breath hitched in her throat. The baby was beautiful. Most times, Elsie felt newborn babies looked like an old man, but not this little lass. No this lass was perfect. She was her mother's daughter through and through.

"Oh Anna," Elsie began. "She's beautiful. You need to take a look at her. She's got your eyes and your nose." Elsie bent down, trying to place the baby within Anna's arms. But Anna didn't move.

Elsie's eyes moved up to meet Lady Mary's, who looked just as uneasy as Elsie felt. While she hadn't thought this would be easy, she hadn't expected Anna to just fall away in front of them.

Lady Mary moved closer to Elsie and glanced down at the baby girl in her arms. She smiled.

"Anna, she really is beautiful. What are you going to name her? Have you and Bates chosen any names?"

There was still no response from Anna.

The room fell silent.

"I'll take the baby to Mr. Bates," Mrs. Crawley offered, reaching her hands back out for the baby girl. Mrs. Hughes handed her back over, sad to be letting her go. It was strange to her how much she loved this child already and they had only just met. "Will you clean up Anna? She needs a new gown and fresh towels."

"Yes, Mrs. Hughes and I can handle that," Lady Mary answered, again surprising Elsie.

"Good."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

John ended up back outside Lady Mary's room, pacing. He had remained with Lord Grantham for over an hour, but he needed to be back near his wife. It was what he had promised. He heard the sound of the baby's first cries and his heart skipped a beat.

Moments later, Mrs. Crawley finally walked out with the bundle within her arms. His eyes immediately fell to the small baby.

"It's a girl," Mrs. Crawley happily told him, placing the precious child within his arms. "Anna is doing well – physically. She's exhausted. And emotionally…." Mrs. Crawley paused. John's eyes were stuck on his little girl. She was so tiny and so vulnerable. He knew that he would do everything in his power to keep her safe.

"Mr. Bates," Mrs. Crawley began again, drawing his eyes away from his daughter. "Anna…well, she's going to need some time. After the trauma she has gone through, this can be common. Plus, after childbirth in general, women can experience some baby blues. Be patient with her and she will get better. It will get better," she repeated.

"Can I see her?"

"Yes," Mrs. Crawley answered. John shifted the baby within his arms and she cooed, making his heart burst. His eyes met hers and he couldn't believe how perfect she was. How could he love this child this much? It was a love that he couldn't explain.

Mrs. Crawley opened the door and John walked in to see Anna lying in bed. Mrs. Hughes stepped out of the room, giving the baby another glance, before saying,

"I'll bring you both up something to eat."

"You and Anna can stay in here as long as it is needed, Bates," Lady Mary said, as she exited the room. "No rush."

"I'll give you both a little while, before coming back up to check on Anna and the baby," Mrs. Crawley told John.

Then he was alone with Anna and their daughter. Her head was turned away from him.

"Anna," he said, sitting down next to her and cradling the baby in his arms. "We have a daughter."

Anna didn't respond in any way to his words. She remained despondent.

"Did you have a name picked out for her?" Again no response. John's eyes filled with tears, but he held them back.

The baby began to fuss and he lifted her up, bouncing her gently.

"Shh," he whispered in her ear. "It's alright, little one. I'm here; Daddy's here." Almost instantly, she calmed against him. John gently pressed a kiss against her cheek, still in awe that she was here. But his eyes fell back to Anna and he felt a crushing pain against his chest. He had never so intensely felt both happiness and sadness at once.

"Anna," he tried once more. She shifted slightly, never looking at him.

"This isn't how it was supposed to be."

To be continued...