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Chapter 15
John tiredly rubbed his eyelids with his fingertips, before glancing at the clock on the wall. He would need to leave for work shortly. Four days ago had been his first day back and he was overwhelmingly exhausted. There were no more break times for him. He left later in the mornings, thanks to Lord Grantham, who told him not to rush in, which allowed time for Mrs. Crawley to arrive to take over. But John had been up all night with Ruby. She was up every few hours, demanding a fresh nappy and bottle. Then he went into work, came back around lunch for a check in, and headed back home as soon as he had Lord Grantham dressed for supper. This particular schedule was only going to work for so long. Lord Grantham was going to expect more out of him soon. And eventually, Mrs. Crawley would not be able to show up every day to care for his daughter and make sure Anna was alright.
A knock came at the door. That would be Mrs. Crawley. She was always prompt. John knew he needed to find a way to repay her, but he was too tired to think of anything right now. He shifted the sleeping baby in his arms and kissed the top of her head, before making his way to open the door. There stood Mrs. Crawley standing across from him with a smile on her face.
"Good morning, Mr. Bates, and good morning, Ruby," she reached out for the baby. John handed her over, before grabbing his coat and hat. "Don't feel like you need to rush back," Mrs. Crawley said. "I can handle Ruby. Has Anna eaten breakfast?"
"I…I don't know," John sighed. "I put the food on the table next to her bed. She hasn't moved since I got home last night." His hand ran through his hair without thinking and he realized he had just mussed his gel and another sigh passed through his lips.
"It'll get better," Mrs. Crawley assured him. "I'll try talking with her when Ruby is napping."
John twisted his lips. He wasn't sure he could believe that it would get better. There had been no signs of it. Ruby was 11 days old now. And Anna just laid upstairs in their room, locked away from the world. She barely ate, she rarely talked, and the only time she got out of bed was to go to disappear in the bathroom for a while, before coming back into the bed.
"It will," Mrs. Crawley said again, reading his thoughts. "It's going to take time."
John gave her a small smile and a nod, before exiting his cottage. He hated leaving his little girl each day. She was his one joy in life right now. While it was tiring to get up all night and to clean bottles as the sun was rising, he wouldn't trade it for the world. Her little eyes looking up at him gave him life. What broke his heart the most was that Anna was missing out on this. How couldn't she see the beauty of Ruby?
He shook his head and continued on his walk to Downton, ignoring the tiredness running through his bones.
When he reached the backdoor, he entered and could already hear the bustling of breakfast finishing up. Mrs. Hughes stepped around the corner and smiled.
"Good morning, Mr. Bates, Lord Grantham still hasn't rung," he thanked her and hung up his hat and coat. Mrs. Hughes stepped closer to him and quietly added, "How's Anna?"
"The same," John replied, watching as Mrs. Hughes' lips fell.
"Not so much married bliss, eh?" A voice said from down the hallway. John glanced up to find Thomas standing with a smirk on his face. "Little miss find out that she's stuck now with a baby to you?"
John was too tired to respond to Thomas, but Mrs. Hughes was not. She shot him a look of distain.
"Get back to work, Thomas, before I talk to Mr. Carson about whether or not you are actually needed here at Downton."
That was enough to get Thomas to scurry away.
"Don't let him bother you, Mr. Bates," Mrs. Hughes added.
John just let out a loud breath and shook his head. "I ought to see what I can do before Lord Grantham rings. Thank you, Mrs. Hughes."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
"Thomas," Thomas paused his steps when he heard Mr. Carson's voice behind him. He turned.
"Yes, Mr. Carson?"
"I think it might be best if you keep out of other's personal lives," Mr. Carson warned.
Thomas gave him a cheeky grin, "Of course, Mr. Carson." Then he scooted up the stairs. Mr. Carson rolled his eyes, turning to find Mrs. Hughes standing beside him.
"So you heard him too?" She questioned him. Mr. Carson nodded.
"The last thing poor Mr. Bates needs is Thomas prying in on his life," Mr. Carson tutted. He glanced over at Mrs. Hughes. Her lips were curled downward into a frown. He could tell she was concerned. His guess was for Anna. Over the many years the two had worked together, he knew how much Anna mattered to her. In many ways, she had been like a surrogate mother to the girl. "Are you alright, Mrs. Hughes?"
"Yes," she quickly responded, "Why wouldn't I be?"
He opened his mouth to say something about the situation, but then decided against it. They were in the middle of the hallway and there were too many ears around. He would bring it up later, at a more private time.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Mary decided she was going to walk down to the Bateses' cottage to see Anna and the baby. She hadn't seen Anna in over a week, and to be honest, she missed her. When she asked Bates about Anna and Ruby, he would just say they were fine. That was not enough for Mary.
She walked up to the cottage door and knocked, surprised when it was her mother-in-law, Isobel, on the other side. Isobel had Ruby in her arms and gave Mary a warm smile.
"Mary, what a surprise!"
"Isobel, are you doing a check up on Anna?"
Isobel's head shook, as she motioned for Mary to come inside the house. Mary's eyes scanned the small cottage. Her brows furrowed when she saw no signs of Anna.
"Anna's still in a bad state, I'm afraid," Isobel explained to Mary. "I'm watching Ruby while Mr. Bates goes to work."
"Oh," Mary said, her voice taken from her. She had hoped that Anna was back to her usual self, enjoying motherhood. Her eyes went to the bundle in Isobel's arms and she smiled. "May I?'
"Of course," Isobel handed the baby to Mary. Mary happily took Ruby into her arms and bounced her slightly. "Poor Mr. Bates is overwhelmed right now. He's balancing everything. I'm trying to help the best I can."
Mary glanced up the stairs.
"And Anna is up there?"
"Yes," Isobel gravely stated. "She doesn't leave the bed."
Mary sympathized with Anna. She remembered a time after her son was born and she felt detached from everything around her, in so much pain from the loss of Matthew. It was different then. Her pain was a different deep ache than Anna's, but there were many similarities. However, she had nanny and her family to care for George as she wallowed in her grief. Right now, poor Bates was bearing the brunt of it all.
"We'll take Ruby in at the nursery," Mary resolutely stated. "Bates can bring her in the mornings and she can stay until he leaves. She was going to come when Anna came back to work anyway, what's a few extra weeks."
"Mary, are you sure?"
"Absolutely," Mary replied, leaving no room for arguments.
"Alright, well talk to Mr. Bates about it. I can care for Ruby for the rest of the day. And I can still come every few days to check in on Anna."
"Could I go up and see her?" Mary inquired. The little baby fussed slightly in Mary's arms.
"You can," Isobel answered, though her lips were drawn down into a frown. Mary gave Isobel the baby.
Then she made her way up the stairs, not sure where Anna's room was. However, the door was opened and she found Anna laying in the bed. She was turned away from her.
"Anna?"
There was no movement or recognition to Mary's voice. Mary stepped forward anyway. She walked into the bedroom, feeling as though she was intruding in Anna's personal space. It was such an odd turn of events. She had never been inside of Anna's home before now.
"How are you feeling? We miss you at the Abbey, well, me especially. Baxter is kind, but she can't quite do my hair the way I like it."
The room remained quiet. Mary frowned.
"Well, I do hope you feel better soon."
Mary turned and headed back downstairs. She gave Isobel a crooked smile.
"I best get back to Downton Abbey. Thank you," she sincerely told her mother-in-law, "You've been a great help."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"Have you read this?" Molesley's voice boomed across the small room. Thomas grimaced. They were the only two people sitting at the table. He glanced over at the man who had a bewildered look on his face. "Mr. Gillingham – Alex Green – is dead."
Thomas stood up then, walking over to Mr. Molesley and grabbing the paper out of his hands. He scanned the headline and the small blurb below it. It was usually quite odd to see an article about a servant's death in the papers unless there was a scandal attached with his death.
"What's this about?" That was Jimmy peering over his shoulder, reading along. Thomas didn't even know when Jimmy had entered the room. He had been too busy connecting the dots over what he read, his stomach churning at the realization.
"Mr. Gillingham was killed by some cook," Molesley was explaining. "He tried to grab her and she cut his throat."
"Poor bloke," Jimmy stated. "Girl probably sent him signals when he flirted and then refused like she doesn't know how the game is played."
"Shut up, Jimmy," Thomas growled. "You know nothing."
"Do you think Mr. Gillingham could have tried that on someone here at the Abbey?" Molesley asked, his eyes wide.
"I doubt it," Thomas easily lied, throwing the paper into the middle of the table. "Do you really think Mr. Carson would have allowed that to happen under his nose?"
"No," Molesley answered, "But…"
"Stop worrying about it. It didn't happen here," Thomas stated. "But it's good he's dead. He deserved it."
"You don't think…" Jimmy was asking after Thomas, as he turned to make his way down the hallway.
"He deserved it," Thomas repeated. He faced Jimmy. "Men like that are scum. Don't be like that Jimmy." Jimmy watched him carefully, thrown off by this side of Thomas, but he nodded. "Good," Thomas said, patting his shoulder. "Now, I must get back to work."
As he turned the corner, he paused and inhaled sharply. While he had his issues with John Bates, he would have never wished this upon him, but especially not Anna. Anna had never been his enemy; she had not deserved this.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
John had not been sure about bringing Ruby into the nursery, but it was easier. Well, he didn't feel as guilty about putting too much on Mrs. Crawley. He did, however, worry about Anna alone at home.
For several days, he, Mrs. Hughes, and Mrs. Crawley took turns checking in on Anna during the day. Much to his relief, she never did anything more worrisome than her closed off shell she had placed herself into. Though, he couldn't quite keep from fretting that she would do something more drastic.
So, imagine John's surprise a week later, when he found Anna at the bottom of the stairs fully dressed for work. He was struggling with a screaming Ruby in one arm and attempting to make her bottle. She just stood there dressed, her eyes lacking any life within them. He paused what he was doing and tried to soothe his daughter, while walking over to his wife.
"Anna?"
She glanced up at him.
"It's time I go back to work," she stated. He almost smiled. Perhaps, work would be good for her. At work, she would be forced to interact with people.
Ruby grew inconsolable, her wails piercing his ears.
"Could you hold her while I finish her bottle?" John asked, attempting to give Ruby to her. Anna didn't respond. She didn't move her arms out either. "Anna?"
"I should probably head in early," Anna's monotone voice stated. She walked forward, grabbing her things and exiting the door. The sound of the door shutting only spurred Ruby harder. John bounced her and went to check on the bottle. It was too hot now and he cursed under his breath.
"Shh," he tried to soothe his little girl. "It's alright." Hearing his voice, Ruby paused her crying and blinked up at him. He smiled. His heart always felt full when he looked at her. "That's right, little girl. Everything is alright. I have your bottle. You have me. We're going to be alright."
To be continued...
Will going back into work help Anna? I guess we'll find out soon ;)...Thank you for reading! More soon!