Thank you all so very much!

Chapter 21

"Ba-ba-ba-ba," Ruby blubbered, as John turned the pages of the book and continued to read to her before bed. She grabbed at the side of the book, attempting to pull the corner to her mouth.

"No, no," John calmly told his daughter, keeping it away from her wet lips. She had already drooled on his favorite book, causing the corner to be bent and unrepairable. "Let's continue the story."

He read a few more words, glancing up to see Anna standing in the door frame watching from afar. Over the past couple of weeks, John had noticed that she was showing more interest in what he and Ruby were doing. She would often come nearby to see what they were up to. Sometimes, she would even ask John what book they were reading or if it was a really good day, she might ask if Ruby had a favorite part or a favorite toy when they were down on the ground for tummy time.

He could even leave Ruby alone with Anna in the same room for short periods of time, while he ran upstairs to quickly change or grab something. It had to be done in a way that didn't cause any pressure for Anna. John realized that if he asked more out of her, she would tense up. So, he and Mrs. Crawley had discussed ways to help foster the relationship with Ruby where it wouldn't cause setbacks for his wife. She was getting better. John did not want that to change.

"That's enough for tonight," John said, closing the book and placing it on the small dresser by the rocking chair. Ruby blubbered some more, not seeming close to growing tired. He lifted her up and placed her onto the top of the dresser to change her nappy. He heard steps behind him and then Anna's hand on his shoulder.

"Is she going to be too hot in that?"

"I think she'll be fine." He tried to hide his smile. Anna's growing concern and small connections with Ruby made his heart flutter. If only he could get her to hold her, to really interact with Ruby. That would be the final step. But Anna was not there, not yet.

There were times when he would come downstairs and find Anna sitting near the blanket where Ruby would be laying and chewing on a small toy. Anna's eyes would be wistful and hopeful, he could tell that she wanted to be able to hold her. She wanted to interact with her. Something was keeping her from being able to do so. Yet, these things were still such a major progress. She showed concern and would even talk about her to John. They were moving forward.

The nightmares were also less intrusive. They didn't seem to haunt Anna as they had before. She rarely woke and she slept all night, seeming more rested than she had in months. John just knew that they were so close to the end of it, but that he had to remain steadfast with his patience. It was not going to happen overnight.

John placed Ruby into her cradle and the little girl kicked her feet, looking up at John.

"Go to bed, little one. I'll see you in the morning."

The two of them walked out of the room and John turned out the light. Ruby just cooed. She was now able to put herself to sleep. She would coo for a while, before finally falling into her slumber.

Anna climbed into their bed. She lifted her book and sat up, next to the light. John slid in next to her. He grabbed his own book, but before he could begin reading, Anna turned to face him.

"I…I realized something today," Anna told him, twisting her lips to one side.

"And what is that, my darling?"

"I haven't thought about hurting myself in several weeks." The confession brought near tears to John's eyes, as relief flooded through his frame.

"Oh, my darling, you cannot know how wonderful it is to hear that."

Anna's lips quirked up slightly. "Maybe you won't have to send me away."

He furrowed his brows, reaching over to grab her hand.

"I never intended on doing such a thing," he stated, once again.

"I need you to promise me that you will, if I get really bad and it impacts Ruby," Anna said in response, meeting his eyes. He swallowed hard.

"No, Anna. I am not sending you away."

"I know you, John. I know you are honorable and I know you love me, but I also know that you love Ruby and that you know she comes first. So, I need you to promise me, that if something changes and I stop getting better, that you'll make sure her needs come first."

"Anna…" He felt helpless. He tightened his hold on her hand. This was a promise he could not make. He would not send her away. How could he?

He inhaled and instead said, "You're getting better every day. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. If the time ever comes, I promise that I will make sure Ruby stays safe."

This seemed to be enough to satisfy Anna. She brought his hand up to her lips and kissed his knuckles. There were tears in her eyes.

"I don't want either of you to resent me," she whispered.

"We won't," he promised.

Anna did not reply to that. She dropped his hand and went back to her book.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

After speaking with Lady Grantham about some upcoming guests, Mrs. Hughes was walking down the upstairs hallway. She paused when she noticed Mr. Carson, of all people, in the nursery. Curious, she entered and found that he was by Ruby's cradle, gently rocking it.

"Well, Mr. Carson, I didn't expect to see you up in here," she quietly said. He turned, giving her a knowing smile.

"Nanny needed to grab Master George and Miss Sybbie's lunch. I said I would stay in here. This little one began to fuss, so I rocked the cradle. I'm afraid to stop."

Mrs. Hughes just smiled up at Mr. Carson. She knew he had an affinity for babies, but he seemed especially drawn to Ruby. There was something special about Ruby Bates. She was a downstairs baby. In many ways, she was one of them. Not that they didn't adore the other children, but Ruby Bates was their family.

Mr. Carson finally stopped rocking the cradle and Ruby remained asleep.

"There," he whispered.

"She is growing so quickly," Mrs. Hughes added.

"She is. And Anna seems better," Mr. Carson quietly said.

"Yes," Mrs. Hughes agreed. Anna had come a long way, but she knew that Anna was still unable to find a way to connect with Ruby. She hoped it would happen soon. She knew that Anna would regret all this time she had missed.

"Thank you, Mr. Carson," Nanny broke in, entering with the tray of food.

"Right," he cleared his throat. "Walk with me downstairs?"

"Yes, I'd love to."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Anna sat at the table for lunch, observing every one chattering on about the different things going on around them. It had been a while since she had been able to interact with those at the table, it all feeling so overwhelming. But she loved to listen.

John was next to her, buttering his roll. He winked at her, making her smile. It felt good, she thought, to smile. Lately, it happened more and more. There seemed to be light coming back into the world. Now, she just needed that light where it mattered most: with Ruby. She could speak about Ruby now without growing all flustered and frozen. But she couldn't interact directly with Ruby. She wasn't there yet. She wanted it so badly.

Thomas handed over a bowl of cauliflower. Anna eyed him carefully before taking it. She wasn't sure what was going on with Thomas lately, but he had been kind. At first, she was sure it was an act to get some information from her, but it seemed genuine. John had even mentioned noticing a change in Thomas. Part of her wondered if he knew and that frightened her. If he held that knowledge, it could spread all around Downton. She did not want people to know of her shame or to try and say that Ruby belonged to anyone other than John. It would absolutely crush him. Anna knew how much he loved Ruby. He would not allow anyone to take away their special bond. But Anna didn't want anyone to try to.

"What if we went on a date tonight?" John asked Anna quietly. She looked up to him, smiling.

"A date, Mr. Bates?"

"Yes, we have the evening off."

"But who would watch Ruby?"

"Mrs. Hughes said she would," John told her. Anna chewed on her lower lip. A date did sound nice. John kept spoiling her with these nice gestures and she felt she didn't deserve them.

"Alright, that sounds fun."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

John settled Ruby in her cradle for a moment so that he could go and shave his face. He wanted to look his best for his date night with his wife. They would not be gone long, only going for a quick dinner at a café nearby.

He handed Ruby one of her toys and made his way into the bathroom, where he could begin working on his face. The moment he lathered up, Ruby began to fuss. He groaned.

"Little darling," he called out, reaching for his razor, "I'll be done in a moment." He started to shave, trying to remain focused and not on Ruby's cries. Her voice grew more frantic with each moment. She was angry that she had been left alone and wanted her father. John was growing anxious.

"Ruby," he tried to soothe, pausing his shaving, "I'll be right there, very soon!" He continued on.

But then, Ruby suddenly stopped crying. John's heart raced in his chest. Had she fallen? It was a wild fear, but he had heard that around her age babies could start lifting themselves up. What if he should have already moved her to a cot? She could have fallen over the edge of her cradle and hurt herself.

With these frantic thoughts racing through his head, he dropped the razor into the sink and ran into Ruby's room. The sight before his eyes made his entire body stop and his eyes fill with tears. There before him stood Anna with Ruby cradled in her arms, gently rocking her back and forth. It was the most natural thing he had ever seen. There was no fear, only love. The little girl was curled up against Anna's chest, as Anna lightly kissed the top of her curls.

Anna finally realized that John was standing in the doorway and blinked harshly, a few tears sliding from her eyes. He quickly stepped forward, moving to her, pressing a kiss at her crown.

"I did it," Anna whispered. "Oh, John, I did it. And now, I don't ever want to let her go."

"You did," John said, a relieved chuckle leaving his lips. A tear slipped down his cheek. "You did."

To be continued...:)