Temple of the Wolf

"Okay, Ashla, let's go over it again." The doctor said calmly. "What's your name?"

Ashla was seated in a chair facing the doctor. A Jedi healer stood behind her with his hand on either side of her head.

Ashla looked at the doctor with fear in her eyes. Something about the Jedi terrified her, but she couldn't remember why.

The doctor smiled reassuringly at her. "The Jedi are here to help assist in your healing. You are safe here. Now, answer the question."

Ashla gripped the sides of the chair tightly as her anxiety rose. She felt an odd state of calm slip over her as the Jedi who stood behind her began chanting a quiet mantra. "My name is Ashla Marek."

The Doctor replied, "good. How old are you, Ashla?"

"I'm thirty-seven years old." Ashla said in a monotone voice.

"Excellent. Where are you from?" The doctor glanced up at the Jedi, who had his head bowed, deep in meditation.

"I am from Deralia."

#

Ashla awoke, still sitting slumped up against the wall in the garage of the Ebon Hawk, having passed out briefly from the pain of her injuries dealt at the hands of Malak.

Malak... my brother. I can't think about that right now, she thought miserably.

Mission jumped up from her seated position at her side and dashed off towards the common hold. "Jolee! She's awake!"

Ashla groaned as she tried to stand, but her legs were unforgiving as she slumped back to the floor. She felt rough hands slip under her armpits and pull her up in a brisk manner. She moaned in protest as pain exploded through her side.

"Easy, Canderous!" Jolee barked as he rushed to her side, with Mission in tow. "Let's get her to the medbay."

"Where's Carth?" She asked groggily. "Tell Carth we have to turn around and go back to get Bastila. We can't leave her there."

Ashla grimaced as Canderous deposited her on the medbay bed.

Canderous shook his head. "You're in no shape to go back."

"I'll tell him myself then." Ashla muttered stubbornly as she swung her legs over the side of the bed to stand.

Juhani calmly entered the medbay and stood in the doorway, barring Ashla's exit. "Listen to the Mandalorian, Ashla."

'I could order them to do it. Bastila said I was Revan. I could make them listen to me.' Ashla thought, then groaned miserably as a wave of guilt flooded her. 'I am Revan. All those horrible stories. The brutality. If I do that, if I use the Force in such a manner against the people I have considered my friends, wouldn't that put me right back on that path of destruction?' She sagged against the medbay as guilt slammed into her.

"Fine," she rasped out as she clutched her aching throat.

Jolee grumbled as he began counting the number of people in the small room. "Out, everyone out." He looked pointedly at Ashla, "except you."

#

Carth ran his hands over his face, squeezing his eyes shut trying to blot out the last few hours. It was no use. He slammed his hands down onto the sides of the chair in anguish causing Teethree to beep in concern. The small astromech rolled over to him, whistling worriedly.

"Ehh, it's okay, little guy." Carth grumbled. "I'm… I'll be fine. Just need a minute."

Teethree rotated his dome shaped head to look at the pilot intently before rolling back to the navicomputer.

Carth looked up as he heard footsteps tread lightly down the hallway. Mission patted Teethree on his head lightly as she passed.

"Carth?" Mission asked tentatively as she approached his chair. "Ash is awake and is asking for you."

Ash... Revan.

Carth sighed heavily as he dropped his head back into his hands as he replayed the encounter with Saul in his mind once again.

Cough… Cough… "You didn't know, did you?" Saul laughed softly in between coughs. "Come closer... She's... Revan. The woman that you are so close with… She's Revan. They lied to you… used you. Remember that when you look upon those you thought were your friends."

Damn you, Saul. Carth thought angrily. I hope you rot in hell.

"Carth?"

He rose stiffly and turned to the young Twi'lek standing behind him. "I can't."

Mission blinked rapidly, dumbfounded. "You can't? What do you mean, you can't? You can't go see her? She's hurt and asking for you."

Carth leaned his head back. Carth felt so tired. He felt the years of war crashing down on him as he shuffled down the corridor. "Teethree, watch the bridge. Alert me if there's trouble." He said as he passed the small astromech droid. Mission trailed behind him.

Mission doesn't know. None of them know. Damn it! Carth thought as he paused at the medbay to see Jolee helping Ashla out of her dark blue Jedi robes.

She looks like she's been through hell and back, he thought as he took in the black and blue marks lining her throat from Darth Malak's force choke assault.

Ashla refused to meet his eyes as she noticed him staring at her in the corridor. Instead, she turned her back as Jolee cut the thin white undershirt off of her revealing an array of bruises covering her sides and back. She hugged the shirt to her chest. "Jolee, can you shut the door please?"

Jolee nodded as he turned to press the button that would close the door. "Well, are you coming in or not?" He asked Carth, who stood silently outside of the medbay.

Ashla repressed the sob as she looked back over her shoulder. She quickly looked away as Carth moved into the small room and activated the lock button on the door behind him.

"You have to tell them. Now." Carth thought this can't go on any longer as he crossed his arms over his broad chest defensively.

Jolee shook his head as he moved to stand in between the two. "Carth, whatever is going on can wait until after she's been treated."

Carth inhaled sharply. "You don't understand, Jolee. You don't know the truth."

Ashla felt the hot sting of tears as they began to well in her eyes. Her hands gripped the shirt tighter. "You want me to go out there like this? To tell them like this?" She asked, her voice raspy and rough, as she turned around. She forced her bare shoulders to stop quivering as she sought to remain calm.

Jolee looked back and forth between the two in confusion. His eyes settled back onto Carth. "Listen, whatever you think she needs to tell them can wait. Its waited this long, it can wait another hour or two."

Carth couldn't pull his eyes from Ashla, who stood vulnerable in front of him. This was Revan, the Sith Lord? This small petite woman who had wanted to take in every stray they encountered on Taris? This woman was Revan? He shook his head, trying to clear the confusion from the two vastly different personas.

His gaze softened as he felt his fists slowly unfurl at his sides. "Fine," he said softly. "You can decide during that time… do you tell them, or should I?"

With that, Carth turned and pressed the button to open the door. He heard Ashla softly utter 'thank you,' as he steeled himself to walk through the common area towards the dormitory where he slumped down onto his bunk in defeat. She IS Revan. Saul told you. You heard Malak address her as Revan. If anyone would know what Revan really had looked like under that mask of hers, it would have been him. Plus, Bastila confirmed it when they were confronted by Malak.

He closed his eyes, hoping for sleep, but all he could see was Ashla smiling up at him under the moonlit branches on Kashyyyk as he cupped her face to kiss her while Saul whispered in his ear, she's Revan.

#

Mission opened Ash's footlocker in the cargo hold beside the small blanket covered mattress that Ash had claimed as her sleeping area. She pulled out a new set of undergarments and a beige Jedi robe to take to Ash, who was currently sleeping in the medbay.

Mission leaned back on her heels as she folded up the clothes in a small bundle. She couldn't understand what was going on between Carth and Ash. The tension was so thick between the two, you could cut it with a knife. Mission's lekku shook as she stood up and put the bundle under her arm and headed toward the medbay.

She was surprised to find Ash awake, staring up at the ceiling. She had half expected to see Carth in there with Ash, as over the past few months the two had become inseparable. But the Jedi was alone in the small room.

"Ash?" Mission paused in the doorway. "Feeling better?"

Ashla turned at the sound of her name. Ash. Ashla. Either name sounds so much better than Revan. Whoever Revan was, I am no longer that person anymore. Yet, I'm not sure who 'Ashla' is anymore.

She blinked slowly as the kolto flowed through her system, numbing her. Jolee had given her enough to help her sleep, yet it eluded her. She kept hearing Malak's laughter ringing in her ears, seeing Bastila's face, pale and haunted by guilt… or worse, Carth flinching as she came near him.

"Some," she answered finally. Her voice sounded better. Less raspy and raw as the kolto worked its magic on her bruised vocal chords and throat.

"I brought you some fresh clothes," Mission said as she entered the medbay hesitantly. She set them on the end of the bed, then pressed the lock button to seal the door. "Do you need help getting dressed?"

Ashla groaned lightly as she tried to sit up. Her sides felt much better now that the bones in her ribcage had knit themselves back together, thanks to Jolee giving her multiple kolto injections. "Do you think you could help me sneak off to the refresher for a shower?"

Mission nodded as she handed Ashla the blanket to wrap around herself like a robe and followed behind her with the small bundle of fresh clothes. "I'll be out here if you need anything."

Ashla nodded as she took the bundle of clothes from Mission's hands, then locked the door. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Dark circles marred the tender ivory skin under her brown eyes. She pulled out the pins securing the braid coiled at the nape of her neck, and shook the braids loose until her long dark auburn hair hung down her back in a mass of tangles. Her vision blurred as Revan stared back at her, the black and red mask mocking her, while she gripped the sides of the sink tighter. When she blinked, the Dark Lord was gone, only she remained.

She finished undressing and stepped under the warm spray of water and let it beat into her back as she finally allowed the tears to flow. Sobs shook her body as she slowly lowered herself to the floor of the shower as she let grief overtake her.

#

Carth had everyone assembled in the common area of the hold beside the small galley when she left the refresher, showered and dressed in the soft beige Jedi robes.

"Do you want to tell them, or should I?" Carth asked as she entered the common area.

Mission cast a confused look toward Ashla, who stood with her head bowed solemnly. "Tell us what, guys?"

Jolee frowned. "Yeah, just what the hell happened on that ship? What happened to Bastila?"

Where to begin? A lone sigh escaped as Carth's shoulders slumped wearily. "We ran into Malak. Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get to the ship."

Mission let out a tiny gasp. "She's dead?!"

Zaalbar moaned sadly beside the young Twi'lek.

Jolee scoffed. "Bah! He won't kill her. He needs her alive to use her abilities against the Republic."

Ashla let out a shaky breath as Carth gave her a sharp pointed look.

"They deserve to hear the truth." He said.

A mask of calm slipped over her features as she inhaled deeply. "I know..."

Carth crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter in the galley area of the common area, and nodded tersely.

Ashla looked at her crew assembled around her. Over the past few months, they had started to feel more like friends to her. Looking at Mission, she thought, some more like family. What I'm about to tell them is going to shatter that, just like it did with Carth, she thought as her eyes landed back on the pilot who had saved her life on Taris. She felt all their eyes on her as she slipped her hands inside the sleeves of her robe to hide their trembling.

"I'll tell them." Her eyes closed as she couldn't bear the thought of seeing the reaction on their faces as she said, "I'm… Revan."

Silence filled the hold.

Canderous began laughing. "What the hell... is this some kind of joke? I mean, we knew that you were bad at telling jokes before, Ash, but hell..." His laughter faded as he took in her serious pale demeanor.

Mission's usual vivid blue complexion paled to a light blue as she looked from Ashla to Carth, then back to Ashla. She let out a nervous high pitched laugh. "Revan? Come on, you can't be serious, Ash."

Ashla's mouth was set in a thin line as she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Mission. I speak the truth. Malak told me himself."

Their murmurs of confusion rose up around her.

"Saul Karath told me before he died on the bridge, and Bastila confirmed it." Carth said after the cacophony had died down.

Mission couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Wait, you're… Revan?! Man! This is… major! This is huge!" She turned her wide brown eyes on Ashla, who was standing away from everyone else. "Do you remember anything about being the… dark lord?"

Ashla shook her head. "No, not really. Snippets mostly. Fragments from the War, or finding a few of the star maps. I thought I was having visions about Revan, about her past. I didn't realize what they truly were… memories."

Ashla shifted uneasily as she felt everyone's eyes upon her. Calm and peace. I must remain calm, she thought as pushed her fear away and let it dissolve into nothing. There is no emotion, only peace.

Mission stepped closer to Zaalbar, moving away from Ashla. "So, just a few memories? Nothing else?"

Be at peace, Ashla thought as she inhaled deeply. "Nothing more."

Mission glanced around the room. "Alrighty then. I don't see where there's a problem. You are who you are now, right? I mean, that dark lord stuff is all behind you. You're good now. It doesn't matter anymore."

Carth thought his head was about to explode. It doesn't matter anymore? "Mission, of course, it matters! She's a frackin' Sith Lord!"

Mission crossed her arms and stared defiantly at him. "Not anymore! Right, Ash?"

Be serene. Ashla pictured an uneti tree in her mind, visualized the roots digging deep into the ground while the branches swayed gently in the wind. She nodded slowly, "that's right. Whoever Revan was, I'm not her anymore." Please, Carth… just believe in me like you used to… she thought, but she could tell by the tight set of his jaw, the trust she had worked so hard to build between the two of them had been shattered aboard the Leviathan.

Mission waved her arm in a dramatic arc. "See? Not an issue, Carth."

The others remained silent. Juhani glanced nervously at Jolee, who was taking in the scene with an amused expression on his face. Canderous looked as if he was waiting to see just how this new information was going to affect him before responding.

Carth felt the vein in his temple begin to throb. "What if her memories come flooding back? Huh? What then? How do we know she won't just turn on us? While this whole time, she's been here listening to all our secrets? To our mission? What if she turns on us, and takes all that information right back to the Sith?"

Mission stared at Carth, aghast. "How can you say that, Carth? This is Ash we're talking about! She's saved our skins more times than I can count, and yours too! On Taris alone! Geez, Carth! She's our friend. She's like family! How can you, of all people, think that?"

Carth groaned inwardly. Family. Mission thought of Ash… Revan… as family.

Ashla felt her heart swell with happiness as she heard Mission call her family, but it broke as sorrow rushed over her. "I'm sorry, Carth. I wish… I wish this wasn't true." She said in a hushed tone.

His mouth was in a hard line as he shook his head. "Yeah, well. It is true."

Ashla took a moment to compose herself, to get her surging emotions under control. "Well, now you all know the truth. I understand if you choose to leave, given what you now know. However, I still have a mission to complete… Bastila needs my help to get out of Malak's clutches. He must be stopped, but I will not hold any of you here unless you wish to remain."

Zaalbar huffed, "I swore a life debt to the person you are now, not who you once were. I'll stand by your side, Ashla-Revan."

"Thank you, Zaalbar." Ashla said softly.

"Where Big Z goes, I go." Mission added. "You saved my life, Ash… I mean, Revan. I won't desert you now."

Ashla nodded, unable to speak as Juhani approached her and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"You have my allegiance as well, Ashla… Revan. You showed me that no one was beyond redemption. My time in darkness may have been brief, but you helped bring me back to the light. I will not leave you in your time of turmoil."

Ashla smiled weakly as she laid her hand on Juhani's shoulder in return. "I thank you for that, my friend."

Canderous approached her as Juhani walked out of the common area. He laid right fist over his heart. "You defeated Mandalore. You were the only one who could best us. We had never met anyone like you before, never since. Never before have I met a more worthy foe. How can you even ask if I would follow you? Wherever you are fighting, whomever you are fighting, it will be worthy of my skill. I'm your man until the end, Revan."

Ashla nodded. On impulse, she placed her hand in a fist over her chest as she said, "vode an." Brothers All.

Canderous raised his eyebrows slightly, but nodded. "Vode an."

Jolee gave her a smirk then nodded at her as he walked back to the medbay closing the door behind him. Ashla looked up to see that only Carth and herself remained in the common area. "Carth…" She took a hesitant step forward, but stopped as Carth took a step backwards away from her. He held his hand up to keep her at a distance.

"I'll stay because I told Admiral Dodonna that I would see this mission through, but that's it. Once we're finished, I'm done." Carth said quietly. "I mean, how do I know if I can even trust you at all now?"

"Carth, I'm still the person I was before we were taken aboard that ship." Ashla said softly. I am, aren't I? I'm still the same Ashla as before?

"No, you're not. You're… you're Revan. You killed my family. Broke us apart. Destroyed my home." Carth said, his tone harsh... rough with repressed emotion.

There it was, she thought as she felt defeated. "Carth, I'm sorry… I don't even remember that. Please, try to understand what I'm going through here. I'm still me."

He raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I want to believe you, I really do… I mean, this is a little much for me to wrap my head around."

"How do you think I feel?" She hugged her arms around herself before walking out of the common area towards the cargo hold, locking the door behind her.

#

She felt the stabilizers kick in as the ship entered the atmosphere. Leaving the sanctuary of the cargo hold, she ventured to the cockpit where Teethree whistled happily at her.

"Hello, my little friend," Ashla said warmly to the droid as she patted him on the head before strapping herself into the co-pilot's seat. She stole a peek at Carth, who stiffened as she entered the cockpit. She felt a sharp pang as she realized he was focusing a little too hard on the controls in an effort to not make eye contact with her.

"Where are we?" she asked, hoping he would not directly ignore her.

"Lothal," he replied, keeping his eyes forward on the control panel.

"Lothal? I'm not familiar with a planet named Lothal." Ashla looked out the view ports at the pastoral lands far below them. In the distance, she could make out what appeared to be rocky hills and mountains. "Is there a spaceport here?"

Carth flipped a switch, and began slowing down their descent. "No, I'm going to have to land her in the open. There's not much here. A few smaller settlements, and that's about it. It was only recently discovered by the Republic, and isn't on a lot of known star charts. Hopefully, it is still off of Malak's radar and we'll be safe here for a bit. We could all use the rest."

Ashla nodded and remained silent as he began landing the ship in the center of the meadow at the base of a mountain. She felt her anxiety slip away as she put her focus into helping Carth land the ship safely, her fingers darting quickly over the control panel.

He glanced over at her expertly handling the copilot controls. "I didn't know you knew how to pilot."

Ashla shrugged. "It just came to me. I feel like I've done this a million times. I suppose Revan must have been a pretty decent pilot in her day."

Carth didn't respond. He stayed focused on going through the landing checklist that he had memorized since he began flying when he was a young boy on Telos learning on the flight sims. After they had successfully landed the ship, he unbuckled his crash webbing and left the cockpit without a word.

Ashla listened to his footsteps recede down the corridor.

He hates me now, she thought as she remembered him confiding in her how he held his wife in his arms as she lay dying. He can't stand to be near me anymore, and I can't say I blame him.

She stared out over the windswept meadow Carth had expertly landed them in as she visualized a uneti tree, feeling the Force flow all around her.

It's over, and I'm going to let him go, she thought as she visualized a leaf blowing away in the wind.

#

Ashla sat alone in the meadow a little bit away from the ship, deep in meditation. As she focused on feeling the Force swirl around her, she visualized a lush green garden deep in bloom. A rainbow of flowers blossomed around her, swaying in the breeze as the Force flowed around her. Blue butterflies flitted from flower to flower. She felt the Force all around her… moving through her… She felt connected. Slowly, she began to lift up off of the ground, levitating with her legs crossed underneath her.

She had taken to sitting outside in the sunshine during the day for her meditations. It was unnerving to her, having the majority of the crew walking on tiptoes around her. All except Canderous (who found a renewed love of swapping war stories with her), Jolee, and HK, who in a weird turn of events was her original assassin droid from her time as the Dark Lord. Upon hearing her confession that she was actually Revan, a deeply buried program began running, allowing the droid to access memory files related to the Sith Lord. The droid actually sounded happy to be back with her, although he did say she was very different now than she used to be. You seem to value life to an odd degree, the droid had intoned to her.

It seemed that Jolee had known the entire time that she was Revan, but chose to keep the information to himself. "It wasn't my secret to tell," he answered when she accidentally overheard Carth asking why he didn't tell the crew earlier. Later, Jolee admitted to her that he had known as soon as she entered his makeshift house on Kashyyyk that she was the Dark Lord, but was curious about her change and seemingly memory loss, so he kept quiet to see how it would play out.

In the past few days, she was slowly getting used to the separation between Carth and herself. He did not seek her out to talk like he used to, before the Leviathan. If she asked him a question, he answered but his words were short and direct. She had tried apologizing yet again after she revealed her identity to the others, but he refused to listen. She opted to drop the matter entirely, in order to avoid arguing or fighting with him over it. The gulf between them was so broad, she couldn't see a way across. It broke her heart, the distance between them.

Bastila, in her way, had tried to shield them both from this pain, Ashla thought as she remembered the younger Jedi urging her to not form a bond with the pilot.

It was too late, Bastila, Ashla thought, that bond was formed when he pulled me from the wrecked escape pod. The bond was there. A thin silvery line stretching between herself and Carth. She could feel him, even now, keeping a watchful eye on her as he worked on repairing the ship.

Why didn't you tell me, Bastila? She thought as she felt herself lower down as her meditation ended. I know you must have wanted to... She reached out along the bond between herself and Bastila, envisioned in her mind as a thick green vine, but she only felt Bastila's sorrow at the other end.

Sorrow and pain.

Ashla could feel Bastila's pain cutting into her as she heard Bastila's screams echoing in her head. They're torturing you... because of me, she thought mournfully. And, I can't help you... can't get to you at all. Please forgive me, my friend...

Revan...? Bastila reached out to her, across space and through their Force bond. Revan... Ashla, I do not deserve your friendship...

Ashla sighed deeply as she continued to reach out to Bastila. That's Malak talking... don't listen to him, Bastila. You will always be my friend. You saved me... saved me from myself... please, hold on...

She could feel Bastila wavering as pain ripped through her. Hold on, Bastila...

Silence.

Ashla felt a tear creep down her cheek as she realized that Bastila must have passed out from the torture.

Alek? What happened to us? She wondered as she let her fingers run through the grass as she sought to calm her turbulent emotions. Surely, we weren't always this way, my brother?

She had tried to remember more of their past, but her memories of being Revan were so hazy… like shadows in her mind. The memories she had made after the attack on the Endar Spire were the only ones that felt real to her.

"Meow."

Ashla opened her eyes to see a fawn colored loth-cat sitting before her, his tail twitching. Ashla reached out with her senses, hoping to connect with the small creature. Hello there... She reached her palm out slowly, and was happily surprised when she felt the animal nuzzle against her outstretched hand. And became even more surprised as the loth-cat climbed onto her lap, waiting to be petted. She giggled before she could stop herself.

"What shall we call you, my little furry friend?" Ashla asked as she rubbed the loth-cat's large pointy ears, causing the cat to purr. "I think we'll call you Tuuka. Do you like that, Tuuka? You don't care that I used to be some nasty Sith lord, do you, Tuuka?"

The loth-cat continued to purr in contentment as Ashla stoked his fur gently while staring out across the meadow.

#

Teethree zipped past Carth, who stood quietly in the garage keeping watch over Ashla, as he zoomed down the loading ramp to work on repairs. He beeped a question to Carth as he passed, T3= Carth help with repairs?

Carth gave a quick glance at Ashla, no... Revan, he reminded himself again, who was meditating, before nodding and grabbing up his toolbelt. He kept an eye on her as he moved around the outside of the ship, helping the small astromech with small minor repairs. His mind wandered as he tightened a bolt with the hydrospanner back to the conversation he had with Canderous the night before.

Canderous poured two tumblers of Corellian whiskey. "So, Republic... how long are you going to be giving her the silent treatment?" Canderous asked as he slid one of the tumblers over to the pilot, who sat slumped at the small table in the galley.

Carth nodded his thanks to the large Mandalorian as he brought the glass to his lips. "I don't know what you're talking about..."

Canderous' eyes narrowed. "Ehh, sure you do. You've barely said two words to her since we blasted our way off that ship. Before that, you two were lockin' lips whenever there was a spare moment."

Carth frowned into his glass. "Yeah, well, that's in the past." Maybe the whiskey would help him forget...

"Just cuz she's Revan? Or used to be Revan?" Canderous shook his head before he took a sip of the golden liquid swirling around in his glass. "I'll never understand you Reps... A Mandalorian would be honored to have such a mate. Yet, here you are... throwing her away."

Carth slammed his glass down hard, causing the table to tremble. "You don't understand. You don't know what she did to my home... to my family!"

Canderous arched a brow as he waited for Carth to continue, silently tapping his fingers against the glass.

Carth's frown deepened. "My wife died when Revan ordered the destruction of Telos. My son was ripped from my life, sent to become a Sith! A Sith!" His fist tightened around the glass.

"Telos?" Canderous finished off his whiskey in one gulp. "Malak ordered the destruction of Telos... Not Revan. Word was that when Revan came back from whatever mission she was on, she was furious with him for it. I heard Revan had said several times that Telos was under her protection. That act of rebellion cost Malak his jaw, and damned near cost him his life... but Revan pulled just short of taking his head. Damned if I know why. I certainly would have killed the bastard."

Canderous rose without waiting for Carth to respond, leaving him to digest his words in solitude.

Carth shook himself back to the present. Here, he had been blaming her for his wife's death, the destruction of his world and family... shifting the blame from Saul to Ashla after Saul's death... but, it was Malak who was at fault for the entire dismantling of his world. Not Revan.

He clipped the hydrospanner back onto his tool belt and moved over to the next spot which Teethree had pointed out. He sent a quick glance towards the area where Ashla had been sitting playing with a loth-cat, but the meadow was empty.

She was gone.

#

Ashla sprinted after Tuuka across the green meadow. The loth-cat was headed towards a small mountain, not far in the distance. She sensed the cat wanted her to follow him, so she did. She felt the Force guiding her steps when she lost sight of the fawn colored loth-cat among the tall grass.

Her feet slowed to a stop.

Tuuka sat calmly a few meters in front of her, his large round face seemingly smiling at her, while his tail twitched.

"Tuuka, you silly cat! Where are we?"

Ashla looked down to see that she's standing in a circle that had been etched into the ground, not far from the base of what she had taken to be a small mountain, but now appeared to be some sort of temple. She could make out an arched doorway at the base of the temple. She moved to step forward, but Tuuka growled softly. Ashla set her foot back down, and the loth-cat cocked his head at her and smiled.

It would appear the cat wants me to stand in this circle. Why?

The circle lined up directly with the arched doorway, which was closed with a circular stone.

Ashla closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. The garden blossomed in her mind, the flowers bloomed as she felt the force swirl around her. She reached out toward the stone doorway.

The door will open.

Her hand reached out, and with a flick of her wrist, she opened the circular stone doorway. When she opened her eyes, the loth-cat was heading into the temple. Ashla followed behind him into the darkened temple.

#

Ashla traveled deeper into the darkened temple, using the blue light shining from her lightsaber as a torch to guide her. The loth-cat had long disappeared, and Ashla was disheartened when she had been unable to locate him. She held her lightsaber up to one of the walls as she paused, the blue light illuminating the pictograms carved into the rock walls. Wolves were depicted everywhere. Wolves walking with people holding onto their tails in a line. A large wolf with people standing with raised arms around it. Wolves walking through circular portals of some kind, with people following them. People who appeared to be bearing a glowing sword. Ancient Jedi, perhaps? she thought as she studied the pictograms closer.

Her fingers trailed against the rough rock walls as she walked deeper into the temple, taking care to watch her step along the way.

She paused as she entered a large cavernous room. There were three stone lined arched doorways before her.

"Which way do I go?" she asked aloud.

Her voice echoed around her in the darkness.

She picked the middle doorway and walked cautiously forward. The path opened up into yet another large cavernous room.

Out of the darkness, a shadowy figure emerged.

Ashla took a frightened step backwards as the figure came closer. A loud snap-hiss filled the room as the figure ignited a red lightsaber, followed by a violet colored blade. The red and violet glow illuminated the red and black mask under the shadow's black cowl.

Revan.

"No..." Ashla whispered. "You can't be here..."

"But I am here..." the apparition said coldly.

Ashla gasped. It was her voice, cold and menacing, that came out of the masked figure before her.

"No..."

Her fear was all around her.

Ashla sought the garden in her visualizations that she had been practicing, as she reached for the Force to guide her. She saw the lush green garden, but the normal blue sky was blackened with storm clouds. She palmed both saber hilts, a white and blue glow lit up the room as she ignited both sabers, but still the shadowy figure of Revan stalked closer.

"You're not real... You can't be..."

"I am real. I am you." Shadow Revan said. "You are me. We are one."

"No..." Ashla whispered as she backpedaled away from her.

Ashla held the sabers out before her, readying herself for Shadow Revan's attack. Their lightsabers clashed and hissed as they stuck. Red and violet sparks danced off of the white and blue blades. She felt her feet slide back as Shadow Revan reached out into the Force, fueled by her anger, and flung Ashla backwards.

Ashla fought to keep the light around her, as the storm raged in the garden. She found the blue butterflies sheltered under the leaves and focused on them, focused on the light... reached out with the Force to center herself. To balance herself.

"You're not real. You're gone. Only I remain... You may be the darkness, but I am the candle that lights the way."

With that, Ashla released the white and blue plasma blades and knelt in front of Shadow Revan, who laughed maliciously.

Ashla closed her eyes. "You're not real. You are an illusion. The Force is with me." Her saber hilts dropped to the stone floor. "I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me..."

The laughter stopped.

Ashla opened her eyes to discover she was alone in the room. A lone white kyber crystal floated down to her. She cupped her hands around it before falling to the ground, sheltering the light in the darkness.

#

"Carth, calm down man," Canderous barked. "She'll come back. She's probably off doing… I dunno, Jedi stuff."

Carth paced inside of the garage, pausing every so often to glance out the open hatch of the ship. "Calm down? Damn it, Canderous, she's been gone for almost two days!"

Canderous smirked as he bent over the armor he was working on at the workbench. "Maybe she just needed to get away… to think."

Canderous glanced at the Carth, who was leaning against the open frame of the hatch. The man had been a mess since they discovered that Revan had disappeared yesterday morning. "There's nowhere for her to go, Carth. You said it yourself. There's not a spaceport here, where she might have been able to steal a ship. And, the likelihood of her finding a ship in one of the nearby settlements is low. She'll come back."

Carth muttered under his breath as he slunk off towards the dormitories to try and get some sleep. He had kept himself awake last night, worrying over where she had gone or what she might be up to.

Did she turn... fall to the darkside and none of us notice? Where, by the Force, could she have gone?

They had scouted the nearby area, but found no trace of the force user. It was as if she had simply disappeared. Vanished without a trace.

She wouldn't just leave? Would she? Carth wondered as he tugged off his boots and laid back on his bunk, with his arm thrown over his eyes.

#

Ashla walked wearily up the extended loading ramp into the Ebon Hawk with the loth-cat cradled in her arms. The white kyber crystal was warm in her pocket, singing softly to her.

Canderous greeted her with a smirk.

"Decide to come back, then?" Canderous asked as he lifted the chestpiece to inspect his handiwork.

"What?" Ashla paused at the top of the ramp. The loth-cat jumped down out of her arms and pranced his way into the ship. "What do you mean?"

Canderous laughed as he set the armor down. Jedi. "You've been gone almost two days. I thought Republic was going to go supernova on us."

Ashla gasped. Almost two days? "I didn't realize I had been gone that long… I must have lost track of time."

"Figures." Canderous said as he set the armor down and picked up another piece. "You might want to go let him know you're back."

Ashla tread slowly towards the dormitory that Canderous, Carth and Zaalbar had picked out after their escape from Taris. She hesitated before rapping gently on the closed door. She was about to turn away when she heard him stirring. The door opened with a quiet swish.

Carth's eyebrows rose when he saw who waited for him on the other side of the door. "So, you're back?"

Ashla could feel the line of anger still simmering just below the surface through the bond between them. "Yes, I am. I'm sorry… I didn't realize how long I had been gone. I didn't mean to worry you."

Carth frowned slightly as he leaned against the door frame. "I wasn't worried." He lied. He had been worried, but he didn't want her to know that.

Ashla arched a slim brow at him as she let the small white lie go. "Carth, we need to talk about this… about my being Revan."

Carth shook his head as he retreated further into himself. "I know, but I… can't yet. I need time to figure all this out. How to push forward."

Ashla sighed heavily as she felt isolated and alone. She nodded as she turned to leave, to head back to the sanctuary of the cargo hold. "I understand. We'll leave tomorrow, that is if you and Teethree have all the repairs finished. We still have one more star map to locate, and Bastila is in dire need. I feel her growing weaker every day, Carth. We have to find her."

"I don't know how you keep going," Carth said. "I know this must have been a big shock to you."

She paused. "Yes, more than you know."

"Then, we'll have to figure out a way to move forward. To push past this." Carth replied softly. "I won't let my personal feelings get in the way of the mission. I swore an oath to the Republic, and I mean to stand by it… I'll stick with you, but know this… I'm watching you. I won't let you betray the Republic again, not under any circumstances."

Ashla closed her eyes as a wave of sorrow crushed her. She was glad she had her back turned so that he couldn't see how his words cut her to the quick, wounded her so deeply. A conversation replayed itself in her mind.

I'd like nothing more than to put a blaster to both of their heads, but I guess only Malak is left... he had said so matter-of-factly.

Could he do it? She wondered as she moved stiffly down the hallway. After all they had been through, could he pull the trigger? Would I let him?

She didn't think she wanted to know…

***A/N***

Inspiration for this chapter came from Star Wars: Rebels and The Empire Strikes Back (Luke's failure in the Cave on Dagobah). I hope you enjoyed it! The crew will be heading to Manaan next to search for the remaining Star Map. As always, thank you for reading along! Cheers, Nia