Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Chapter 2 – Pain

"Did he ever… you know… hit you? I'm sorry, Bella, but if you want our help, I need to know these things," Carlisle said, uneasy.

"No. It was only things he said. Sometimes he made me feel like I was a goddess, the best thing that ever happened to him. Other times, I was worthless, useless. The bad overpowering the good, but the good was so intense sometimes, that I always hoped it would stay like this. I hoped Jake would change for the better."

*Flashback*

"God, Bella, you're beautiful. I love seeing your growing belly."

"I look like a beluga!"

"You're my cute little beluga."

"I'm a beluga nonetheless."

And we laughed. I loved hearing his laugh. Memories like these were rare, so I cherished them. I needed to not forget about them.

"Jake, I love you. Thanks for being with me every step of the pregnancy."

"Yeah. Don't worry about it."

*End of flashback*

"I loved him. I was in love with him. I thought he loved me too… Why was I so naïve?"

"It's not your fault, sweetheart, as you said, you were in love… Edward took it pretty hard. You were his best friend. He would've done anything for you. I'm not judging you, Bella, but you have to understand why Edward is going to need time to forgive you. You completely shot him out of your life. He…"

"Dear, maybe you shouldn't say what you were going to say. This is not our place to tell." Carlisle turned to me. "Bella, you'll have to talk to Edward at some point."

"If he ever wants to talk to me… I messed our friendship so badly. He'll never forgive me", I sobbed.

*Flashback*

"Bella, stop avoiding me! I know something is up. My parents won't tell me anything and you won't call me back!"

I was afraid. So afraid. Would he think less of me when he knew? Why? Why is it so hard?

"Edward, please! It's complicated. I can't tell you now. Give me some time!"

"I'm tired of waiting for you to talk to me, Bella. We are best friends. Best friends tell each other everything. I…"

He sighed, but was still angry with me. I could see it in his eyes. His piercing green orbs.

"I… I can't be your friend anymore, Edward. I'm sorry. Please, don't call me anymore…"

Edward's face was in pain and I couldn't look into his eyes anymore. It hurt too much.

"Is this because of him?" Edward yelled. "Is it? If it is, then maybe you're right. I don't want to be your friend anymore!"

I held my tears and bit my lips to blood.

"If you really want to know, Edward, I'm pregnant. As in, I'm going to be a mother. And I don't need your immature friendship. You can go fuck Tanya for all I care, fucking liar!"

And I left, crying. There, he knew I knew he was seeing her behind my back.

*End of flashback*

"I don't understand," started Esme, "why would Jake feel threatened by your friendship with Edward at the beginning."

I sighed.

"Maybe because it wasn't a usual friendship. I don't know. We were pretty comfortable together, holding hands, sleeping on the same bed without any weirdness… We were almost like brother and sister."

Carlisle chuckled.

"I highly doubt that, Bella."

I was embarrassed, talking about my relationship with Edward with his parents even if it was only friendship. Only friendship.

"I'd really like to know more about the end of your pregnancy. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I wished I would have helped you like a mom should."

I took Esme's hand and smiled softly at her. She really was like a mom to me since the day Renée, my mom, left with her lover to live in Florida.

"I was really big. I took over 50 pounds. Jake always told me I was beautiful, but I thought I was fat and ugly. I didn't like being pregnant. I love Noah, but I didn't feel good with myself when I was pregnant. When I went into labor, everything happened so fast."

*Flashback*

"Dad! Dad, I think I'm in labor, my water broke!"

It was midnight. My bag wasn't ready and I was freaking out. My dad was half asleep.

"Come on, Bella, the little one can't wait. I'll come back and take your things. We need to leave now!"

I hurried downstairs. I was in my dad's police cruiser when the contractions began. Holy hell!

"Dad, you have to call Jacob! I want him in the delivery room!"

"Don't worry about it, Bella. I'll do anything you want after I've brought you to the hospital."

"God! It fucking hurts!"

"Bella, you don't have to suffer. I can have the anaesthetist give you the epidural", Carlisle told me.

At first, I didn't want it. I was fucking afraid of needles. Just to think of a needle in my back, I thought I would faint. But the contractions were unsupportable.

"I… I can't take this anymore! Please, make this stop!"

I was about to say yes when Jake came to me and whispered in my ear.

"Always taking the easy way out, huh Bella?"

"What?" I asked. But he was gone.

Finally, I had waited too long and I couldn't get the epidural. It was time to push.

*End of flashback*

"And Noah Anthony Black was born on November 10th", I said shyly.

"You named your son after Edward?"

I nodded, not meeting her eyes.

"How did you manage it, you know, with Jacob?"

"Oh, well, he doesn't know Anthony is Edward's middle name. I just told him I really liked the name."

"And… does… Edward know?" Esme asked.

"No… We didn't really talk after the fight. I didn't think he'd like to know. It's just a name, after all."

Esme sighed.

"Bella, I'm sorry to be so forward, but I need to ask you. Why did you come here?"

"I… I need a place to stay. I want to leave Jacob. I can't stay with my dad because he's pro Jacob and he thinks I'm exaggerating. Please, I need some money until I can afford to pay for my own. I'd repay you, of course! I'd never ask if I could avoid it…"

Carlisle and Esme glanced at each other and then back at me.

"Esme and I will need to have a talk before we do anything. But don't worry, everything will work out in the end. I'm glad you came to us."

"Thank you Carlisle, Esme. I'll get back home to Noah now. My dad doesn't know I was here. He thinks I'm doing homeworks at the library. Studying with a one year old baby isn't that easy."

"We'll get in touch with you soon, Bella."

I nodded and left. When I got back home, I found my dad asleep on the couch, Noah curled up next to him. It was a really cute sight.