Disclaimer : I don't own Twilight.

Chapter 4 – A New Beginning

"Unbelievable!" My dad exploded. "Really, Bella, I can't believe you felt you couldn't trust me. I'm so sorry, Little Girl…"

Carlisle had just finished telling him what he knew of the story as I had filled the gaps. Esme was about to leave, to give Dad and I some privacy I guessed, but I stopped her, putting my hand gently yet firmly on her arm. I needed her. I wanted to trust my dad but he hadn't been completely fair regarding my issues with Jacob Black.

When my father demanded that I go back home with him, I had trouble telling him I wanted to stay here with the Cullens. I was so used to Jacob deciding everything without my consent that I often felt I didn't have to want anything. Nevertheless, there was a flicker of hope in my chocolate eyes when I looked at Esme. I knew she would help me to the best of her ability. Plus, I still had to make amends with Edward so I pleaded the woman with my eyes.

"If I may, Chief Swan, perhaps Noah and your daughter would be safer staying here for the time being as your duties as Police Chief take much of your time. And you need to address the situation with Jacob Black."

I admired the strength within her voice. My father wasn't pleased, but he told me it was my choice.

"I will stay here, Dad. You can still come and visit Noah anytime you want." My voice was shaking slightly and my anxiety level was to the roof even though I knew this was the right decision. I had to keep my son safe and I truly believed the Cullens would help me.

My father nodded, unhappy. "Ok then. I think it's time to have a discussion with a certain someone. Off duty." His words seemed final.

"He's dangerous, Dad" I started, but he cut me off. "I have a gun, Bells."

Maybe I shouldn't have doubted my dad. Just as he was about to leave, he caught a glimpse of Edward with Noah and muttered something I didn't catch. When he left, I cried again. I wondered how Edward would ever want to forgive me. Jake had had so much power over me. I should have known he was bad news from the beginning when he got jealous of my friendship with Edward especially, but of others as well. Even Angela stopped calling after a couple of months. I had let everyone down because of love. I needed to take back control of my own life. The problem was, I didn't know how. I wasn't even sure I was strong enough. In fact, I thought I was pretty weak. Jake had told me so many times that I was, it probably held some truth. I was in a dark place and I didn't want to bring Edward down there with me. I had to be careful. I wasn't ashamed to say I needed help even though I could practically hear Jake's harsh comments about me being useless. I dried my tears and took the tissue Carlisle was handing me. That's when I noticed Edward and Noah. The sight took my breath away. Edward was sitting on the rocking chair, his eyes closed, with Noah facing him, his head on Edward's chest, peacefully sleeping. For a millisecond, I wished Edward was Noah's father. It made my heart ache. Life would have been so different! But I couldn't dwell on what ifs. Noah wouldn't have been Noah if Jake wasn't his sperm donor.

When Edward opened his eyes, Carlisle and Esme made a silent exit. It was clear it was time to have a serious talk. I took a deep breath.

"Do you… want me to put him on the couch?" I asked him, unsure.

He hesitated. "If you think he'll sleep better…"

I doubted Noah would have wanted to be moved, but I thought it would be easier to talk without Noah. Edward seemed to understand my predicament.

"I'll put him down on my bed and ask Mom to watch him" he said before disappearing down the hall. I sighed. I dreaded having this conversation. When Edward came back, I realized I had been pacing while biting my nails. Damn habit!

Edward approached me tentatively. He took my hand and slowly pulled my sleeve up. He sighed.

"Bella…" His thumb brushed my bruises and I leaned into him as he hugged me.

"I'm so sorry, Edward, for shutting you out of my life. I'm so very sorry for letting someone dictate my life. I was so fucking afraid he would hurt you! God knows he threatened you so many times!"

Edward let go of me and we sat down on the sofa. At first, he didn't speak. I played with my hands, waiting.

"Bella… Bellabouh… I wish you would have said something. I wish I was there for you when you needed someone. I wish my anger at your ridiculous outburst that fateful day hadn't overpowered the strength of our relationship."

"I'm so sorry for that day! I don't know why I was so mad at you about Tanya. It's not like you were my boyfriend or anything!"

Edward turned to me and stared into my teary eyes. He was silent.

"You've been with her for more than two years. I guess I was wrong about her" I added, unsure.

He nodded slowly. "I'll tell you about her someday."

"Ok" I murmured. I wondered how she would take the news of my move-in to her boyfriend's home.

"I have to ask you something. Feel free to tell me to fuck off, but I have to ask anyway…"

I laughed a little, surprised by his tone. "Ask away…"

"Why did you stay that long with the fucker?"

"Oh… Well… At first, I thought I loved him. He was funny. He made me feel beautiful…" I began.

"You are beautiful!"

"And you're a little biased" I stated, crossing my arms.

Edward shook his head, his lips a thin line.

"Then I learned I was pregnant. You of all people knew of my fairy tale dream of staying with my baby's daddy for eternity… Damn, I was no naïve!"

Edward chuckled humorlessly.

"After a while, I felt like no one would want me anyway. I knew my dad liked Jake and his family. Jake didn't want me to work so I barely had any money. I was so afraid of his reactions… So I stayed and lost a little bit of myself every day."

***Flashback***

"Bella, I need the 10$ bill I gave you the other day. Give it to me."

I started to breathe faster.

"I don't have it anymore. I bought milk, eggs and bread with it" I replied as calmly as possible.

"What?" Jake opened the fridge and closed it with force. "Milk? There's no milk in there. Why are you lying to me, Bella?" he yelled to my face.

"Calm down, Jake, please. It's been a couple of days already…" I silently prayed he would just let it go.

"Damn it, Bella!" He smacked his fist brutally on the table and left. I was almost holding my breath to the verge of fainting.

***End of flashback***

"And you became the girl with the broken smile." I looked up into his emerald eyes. I could see regret and anger, all mixed into one monstrous emotion.

Edward looked down, suddenly seemingly ashamed.

"I saw you a couple of times. I should have talked to you."

"I'm not mad at you, Edward" I said gently. "If I have to be mad at someone, it has to be myself."

"I don't agree, but we'll work through this together."

"Thank you, Edward. You're a real good friend."

"Yeah… A good friend…" He gazed at me but stood up quickly when he heard Noah cry.

I caught myself thinking Edward had kind of a paternal side to him. Edward… You saw hope in the hopeless. I had a feeling I would finally be able to break free from Jacob Black.