Flipping the Script

The Legend of Zelda and all related media are property of Nintendo.

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"Link, buddy! You need help man! Unlock the do—"

"Shut the fuck up!" Link shouted at the door, shoving a bed against it for good measure. The shouts and knocks grew more incessant, but he ignored them as he slid down to the ground, clutching his head. What the actual hell was going on?!

"That's something I'd like to know as well," a familiar voice said from within his mind."

"Me too!" another familiar voice cried

"What the hell is going on?!" a less familiar voice shrieked.

"Gah—dammit!" Link pressed his palms against his temples as his mind was assaulted by voices. "Shut up!" The voices stopped. He took a deep breath, "Okay, who's…here, I guess?"

"Me," the Hero of Time called.

"Me!" the Hero of Winds cheered.

"Get the fuck out of my body!" the original owner of the body shouted.

"Careful," Link chuckled, "you might burst your own eardrums."

"Don't laugh! This is a serious situation!"

"He's right, this isn't the time to laugh," Time admonished.

"And can a mental screech even pop the physical eardrums?" Wind pondered.

"If you believe hard enough, they will," Link said with a shrug.

"Stop talking about ears!"

"Hey, they're your ears, Ori."

"All the more reason to—What did you just call me?"

"Ori," Link repeated. "You're the original owner of this body, hence, 'Ori'."

"I…I have a name though. It's Link."

"Yeah," Link nodded, "but it's my name too."

"It's my body!"

"You're not currently using it, ergo, you don't get the name."

"That's not how that works!"

"Actually, Ori, it is," Time chimed in.

"Don't call me that!"

Time continued as if he hadn't heard the complaint, "Whoever's using the body gets the name. At least, that how I've done it."

"You've been through this before?" Ori gasped.

"Oh no, the people whose bodies I used were dead. But I figure this is a similar enough situation. A lot less masks, though." His statement was met with silence.

"Man," Wind chuckled, "your life was fucking weird, even for us."

"Oh, I'm well aware."

"Can we focus on me?" Ori asked, voice hinging on hysterical, "The guy whose body has three different guys possessing it?!"

"Technically we're all the same person," Link said.

"Not the point!"

"Ori's right."

"Stop calling me that!"

Wind ignored him, "We should figure out how to fix this. Don't know about you all but I've got a lovely wife waiting for me back home that gets…irritated, when I leave her waiting." He voice dropped into a playful growl, "Of course, the make-up sex is just tops!"

"Sweet Farore." Time groaned, "you can be positively disgusting!"

Wind huffed, "Oh please! Like any of you weren't just as horny when you finally figured out how it all worked!"

"Perhaps, but the rest of us understand the meaning of the word decorum!"

"Repressed prude!"

"Oversexed gremlin!"

"Guys!" Link shouted. When the two fell silent, he said, "I think you're scaring junior."

Ori let out a strangled gasp, and if he had a body, it'd be pale and wracked with shivers. "H-How the hell did you people save Hyrule?"

"I actually ended up helping destroy Hyrule at the end of my first adventure," Wind replied, melancholy replacing his previous anger.

"I started my journey by euthanizing my father when I thought I was saving him," Time said. "At times the only thing that kept me going was his dying wish to save the land."

"Same here," Link shrugged, "Except it was my uncle, and I found him bleeding out in a sewer beneath Hyrule castle in the middle of a storm."

"Oh…" Ori trailed off. "That's…I'm sorry."

"It's fine, kid," Link waved a dismissively, "It was ages ago." He rose to his feet, popping his back as he stretched, "Now shush! I want to try something." He closed his eyes, concentrating on his soul. He could feel it, resting within his borrowed body. But it was…heavier than it should have been. Connected to the other Heroes' souls. He tried to use his (admittedly limited) magical prowess to separate his soul. When Time and Wind realized what he was doing, they attempted to help him (Ori didn't appear to have any magical ability as of yet). Alas, all it did was cause them no small amount of pain.

"Okay," Link groaned, pressing a hand against his chest, "that didn't work. Looks like we're stuck like this—sorry about that."

"Why're you—oh, right."

"See, this is what happens when you act all nice!"

"Wait," Ori grunted, "is that a thing spirits can do? Unintentionally bind their souls together based on temporary goodwill?"

"No," Time replied with a chuckle, "the dead are capable of a great many things, but not something a grand as this. Gods, on the other hand."

"A god?" Ori parroted. "Like…Hylia?"

"This does seem like something she'd drool over," Wind said. "But she doesn't like messing with her established system."

"This is more likely the work of the Golden Goddesses themselves," Time continued. His voice dipped into a growl, "Din especially is fond of little…pranks."

"So…" Ori drawled, clicking his nonexistent tongue, "pray to them?"

"That won't work," Link shook his head. "Outside of the occasional proxy, they don't interfere with the world."

"And when they do things get…fucked." Wind added lamely.

"Then…what do we do?"

"Normally," Link rolled his shoulders, "you'd wait around until something happened to force and or dupe you into saving the land from whatever evil's lurking around." He let the statement hand between them before smirking fiercely, "But since we're clearly going off-script, I think it's safe to say we can skip a few steps."

"How?" Ori asked. "Finding the Blade that Seals the Darkness?"

"It's called the Master Sword," Wind corrected him, "And yes. There might be a couple other things we have to do but knowing where the Master Sword is will take a load off of our backs." He paused, "You wouldn't happen to know where it is, would you?"

Ori hummed, "There's tons of legends about its resting place."

"Any of those legends include a temple or forest?" Link asked.

"…There is the Lost Woods to the north," Ori replied, "Said to be home to a whole host of nasty spirits that ward away explorers."

"It's there," Link said in tandem with Time and Wind.

Ori grunted, "How do you know?"

"It wouldn't be the first Lost Woods to house the Master Sword," Link said.

"The Master Sword is rather selective," Time continued, "even among magical weapons. A forest that turns people away would make an excellent hiding place."

"You make it sound like its alive."

Link clicked his tongue, "Sort of? Comatose might be a more apt description."

"…Do I want to know?"

"Eh," Link shrugged, "It's a cute story."

"It's the origin of this damnable cycle we're all trapped within," Time groused.

"And it's a cute story," Link repeated. "Besides, it's not the sword's fault."

"Bitch about it later," Wind cut in. "We're heading north. What about after—aside from killing this Calamity thing. Also, how much you wanna bet it's just Ganon again?"

"Who?" Ori asked.

"Later," Link answered. "And that's a sucker's bet."

"Pussy."

"Ori," Time began.

"I still don't like that name."

"Too bad, you're stuck with it—Can you think of anything else that may help us on our journey? Tales of special items or magics?"

"You mean the Divine Beasts?"

"What're those?" Link asked.

"Giant machines in the shape of animals, created by ancient Sheikah."

"Huh…" Link hummed, "Those sound…familiar."

"I'd imagine," Ori said, "a past Hero used them ages ago to—"

"Oh!" Link snapped his fingers. "Right, those things! I remember one of us talking about them!" He chuckled, "Well, never mind then."

"Moving on."

"Fuck that noise."

"W-What?" Ori stammered, "What did I say?"

"These Divine Beasts were used to halt evil once before, right? The same evil that threatens the land?" Time asked.

"Yeah."

"Then it won't work again."

"What?" Ori sucked in a breath, "B-But we've spent so much time excavating and restoring them. And the other ancient machines!"

"And at best they'll only tickle the Calamity," Link replied.

"At worst this Calamity will twist it to its advantage," Wind added.

"…Champions have already been chosen to pilot the Divine Beasts," Ori whispered in fear.

"Champions?" Wind parroted.

"Sounds like another word for 'Sage'."

"Ah," Link nodded, "You mean fresh corpses."

"…What?" Ori said, voice grave.

"A consequence of this little game we're forced to play," Time said, a hint of wariness in his tone, "Barring a few exceptions, those that offer their direct aid to our cause end up dying along the way, lingering just long enough to assist us in ending the latest threat before fully passing on." Time chuckled mirthlessly, "They are born to die."

Ori was deathly quiet. One of these so-called Champions was a friend of his, then. After a moment of silence, Link felt something spread within their conjoined souls. He recognized it—dread mixed with fury.

Finally, Ori spoke, voice like steel, "…What else would we need besides the Master Sword?"

"Possibly Light or Silver Arrows."

"And how do we get those?"

"Light arrows are typically gifted by the current Princess Zelda." Ori sucked in a breath. "What's the matter?"

"These Golden Arrows…they're magic?"

"Yes."

"Then I don't think we'll be able to get them." Ori paused, before saying, a touch guiltily, "Princess Zelda is…infamously inept when it comes to magic."

Link arched a brow, "Really? She's around your age, isn't she?" He felt Ori nod. "Weird…most Zeldas have at least a passing grasp on their powers by now."

"Not this one."

"Then we either hope we luck upon some Golden Arrows hidden in Hyrule or seek out Great Fairies to get our hands on Silver Arrows," Link said.

"Before or after we get the Master Sword?"

"After," Link replied. "Great Fairies are fickle, but they'll be more likely to listen to us if we have the Master Sword."

"Get me an Ocarina and I can guarantee their support," Time added.

"Or just charm them with your good looks." They grew silent at Wind's declaration. "What? We're physically based off what a goddess thinks is attractive; in other words, we're hotter than the goddamn sun."

"…He's not wrong," Time reluctantly agreed.

"Let's focus on getting the Master Sword," Ori declared.

"Agreed!" Link said with a grin. "Now, let's get packing!" He clapped his hands together, scanning the barracks. His grin widened to cat-like proportions when he spotted several loose wallets.

"What are you doing?" Ori asked.

"Stealing," Link replied, taking the largest wallet and stuffing it full of Rupees.

"It's the quickest way to turn a profit," Time added.

"And it's super easy—world's filled with saps!" Wind cheered. "Wait," his voice dropped, bordering incredulity, "you don't…have a problem with it, do you?"

"I didn't say that," Ori huffed, "But do you have to be so obvious about it? I've had a great system going for months and you're screwing it all up!"

Link froze, before breaking out in a raucous laugh, "Ha! I knew I liked you, Ori!"

"I'm gonna be stuck with that, aren't I?"

"Unfortunately, Ori." Ori grumbled, only speaking up to direct Link to more lucrative goods.

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Zelda was sure she'd never seen a larger crowd gather in one place within the castle's grounds. At first, it was just the soldiers from the eastern barracks (along with Zelda, Impa, and the four Champions), but soon enough, it seemed every off-duty soldier and servant was joining the crowd, muttering about Link.

Revali scoffed from her left, "All this commotion over a clearly insane Hylian?"

"It's more than that," Urbosa replied, arms crossed over her chest.

"My question is how come no one's entered the building," Daruk said, tilting his head.

Impa cleared her throat, "The barracks were designed to double as defensive shelters—even the windows are reinforced. Short of blowing up a wall, we won't get in."

"Again," Revali huffed, "I ask why make such a fuss over an insane Hylian."

"I'd imagine because of who this Hylian is," Zelda replied. She looked out at the sea of bewildered and worried faces, "He clearly means a lot to a great many people." She looked around, spying a senior knight surrounded by what looked like recruits. She walked over to him, clearing her throat.

The burly knight turned around with a grunt, "Whaddya wa—Princess!" His eyes widened, and he dipped into a bow (hissing at the surrounding recruits to do the same). "How can I be of service?"

"Well, Sir…"

"Mutoh, Your Grace."

"Mutoh," Zelda nodded. "Could you please explain why this…concerned crowd has gathered?"

Mutoh straightened, clearing his throat and crossing his arms, "Well…it's because it's Link." She arched a brow, and Mutoh continued, "I mean…he's a model Knight, Princess. Always follows orders and will go above and beyond them if needed. A bit quiet, but respectable." He shook his head, "Not the kind of guy to stumble outside like a drunk and curse the gods. Or curse in general."

"I see," Zelda hummed, "and you have no idea what could have led to this?"

"No, Princess," Mutoh sighed. "It's so strange. Link isn't the kind of person who you'd think would just…snap like that."

Zelda had to resist the urge to chew on her bottom lip. She shifted her gaze over to Mipha, who had taken to the front of the crowd, frantically beating on the door and calling for Link. Her heart went out to the Zora—crass as Revali was, he was most likely correct in that Link had gone mad. For Mipha's sake, if nothing else, Zelda would see about getting him the best medical care available.

She turned back to Mutoh, thanking him for his time, and went back to the others.

"What is the meaning of this?!"

Only to freeze as her father and his honor guard appeared just up the path.

The commotion came to an immediate stop, everyone turning towards the King. He towered above them all (save for Daruk and Urbosa), his stone-cold eyes scanning the crowd. He zeroed in on Zelda, wordlessly summoning her.

She beat down the anxiety pooling in her stomach as she approached him—she wasn't at fault here; she wasn't at fault. She stopped in front of him, bowing lightly, "Father."

"Zelda," he inclined his head, eyes narrowing. "What is going on? Why is there such a loud crowd—which my own daughter and the chosen Champions are a part of—around the eastern barracks?"

She cleared his throat, "There was an…incident, Father. A young knight named Link…" she trailed off for a moment, "…he appears to have had a nervous breakdown."

"Link?" her father arched a brow.

She frowned at the familiarity in his voice. "You know this young man?"

"In passing." Her father stroked his beard, "He was the young man that disabled that malfunctioning Guardian with a…what was it?"

"Pot lid, Your Grace," one of his guard supplied. Zelda turned back to the barracks. That was Link? She'd heard of the incident—she was in Gerudo Town at the time—and of the pot lid, but she'd always assumed it was an exaggeration, and that the knight in question was older.

"Yes, a pot lid," her father smirked, "an impressive display." He shook his head with a frown, "But if Link has broken down as you say…He's still in there?"

"Yes," Zelda nodded, "He's locked himself in."

He grunted, "Our own defenses used against us…Well, I'd say this has gone on long enough. Whatever madness has overtaken him, I'm certain he still has enough mental faculties to recognize a command from his King."

He marched down the path, the crowd quickly parting in his wake. It was times like this that Zelda realized just how out of her depth she was—not just with regards to her supposed magical abilities but being a leader. Her father made it look so easy. Even her mother, from what little Zelda could remember of her, could bring a hush over a crowd within seconds of entering a room.

King Rhoam stood in front of the door, even Mipha—despite her obvious concern—giving him a wide berth. He took a deep breath, drawing up to his full height in preparation of a bellowing proclamation.

Only to be brought up short by Link opening the Barracks door. Zelda narrowed her eyes as he stepped out into the open. He was wearing plain leather armor under a dark green cloak, various pouches strapped onto his belt and across his chest. Peeking out from his back, Zelda could see the outlines of a sword, shield, arrow, and a fully stocked quiver of arrows. Just where did he think he was going?

Link stared up at her father, blinking. Silence reigned, until her father regained his bearings. "Sir Link," he said, a low growl rumbling from his throat, "what is the meaning of all this commotion?"

Link stared blankly at her father, before clearing his throat. "Uh…So sorry about all of that…mess." That, for some reason, drew a gasp from the crowd. "I just had something of a nervous breakdown."

King Rhoam hummed, "If you would prefer to have this conversation in private."

"Nah," Link waved a hand dismissively, "it's cool. I'm leaving anyway."

"…You're what?" the king said with a breathy, disbelieving chuckle.

"Leaving."

"And why would I allow that?"

"Because I'm the Chosen Hero that will end the Calamity."

Zelda reared back, eyes widening. What did he just say?! Her father (and everyone else, given the loud ring of gasps) was of a mind, though he furrowed his brow and said, "Come again?"

Link rolled his eyes, "I'm not repeating myself." He turned away from King Rhoam, waving at him, "I'll be back after beating down this Calamity thingy. Try not to die before I get back."

"L-Link?!" Mipha finally spoke, darting in front of him.

"Woah!" Link jumped back, "Came out of fucking nowhere!"

"Link," Mipha clasped her hands over her heart, "what's going on with you? Please, tell m—us, what's wrong!"

Link's gaze softened, and he shook his head as he said, "Don't worry. By the time all this is done, you'll look back on this as a…fun day." He sent her a small wave, before stepping past her.

Or trying to, at least. Zelda wasn't sure how it was possible, but he seemed to forget that King Rhoam was fuming right behind him. Until the king roared, "Stop right there!"

But Link just huffed and, without looking back, said, "I'm already wasting daylight."

Zelda didn't think her shock and horror could grow any higher. She'd never, in both life and her research of history, heard of a knight dismissing his king in such a manner.

Her father's face morphed into a thunderous scowl, but all he did was bark out a harsh command of, "Seize him!"

Though the common knights were rather hesitant—no doubt still dumbstruck by the course of events—his honor guard burst forward in an instant. There was even the tell-tale puff of smoke that heralded the Sheikah bursting around them, the Royal Family's shadows appearing with bows drawn.

Even Impa appeared from the ether in front of Zelda, her blade drawn as she said, "Stay behind me, Princess." But Zelda barely paid her any mind, focusing instead on Link who, instead of panicking, looked almost…exasperated.

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The world seemed to slow as a variety of sharp objects were aimed at Link. He could feel his blood growing hotter, his muscles begging to move. To act. To fight.

If it were his own body, he might have heeded its desires. Instead, he conferred with his peers.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Ori screamed in Link's head.

"Well he's trying to do our job," Wind replied.

"You're committing treason," Ori barreled on as though Wind hadn't said anything. "You're going to get me thrown in the dungeon. I'm going to be branded a criminal!"

"Don't knock it till you try it," Link countered, doing his best not to outwardly smirk.

"This isn't the time for jokes! Sweet Hylia, why did you act like that?!"

"Because we don't have the time nor patience to play by the king's whims," Time, ever calm, assuaged. "Though I agree he could have been more tactful, I think we can all agree the sooner we stop sharing this body, the better."

"At what cost?!"

"Any?" Wind supplied.

"Let's not go that far," Link 'said'. He sifted his gaze between the harsh faces of his potential captors. "…I think I can take them."

"Probably," Ori ground out, "But that'd just make our lives harder than you've already made them!"

"If you surrender, we can just break out of the dungeon," Wind supplied.

"No," Ori replied, "I've done shifts down there. Escape is impossible."

"Doubt it," Link countered. "Every dungeon has a weakness."

"Not this one."

"C'mon man," Wind teased, "be optimistic!"

"Go to hell!"

"Summon the Triforce of Courage," Time declared, breaking through their argument.

Link and Wind froze, though Ori asked, "The what?"

"It's a piece of an ancient, powerful relic left behind by the Golden Goddesses when they departed for the heavens. The three of us have all wielded it in our lives."

"Yeah," Wind broke from his silence, "but for all its power, the Triforce doesn't transcend space-time."

Link drew inward, seeking out the ancient power that he once wielded. It took him a moment, but he could feel it. It was faint, but nearby. Behind him, actually. It didn't take a genius to reveal its resting place. He told the others, "I don't think the Triforce is ours to call upon."

"Neither is this body, yet here we are," Time countered. Before anyone could object, he said, "Look, worst case scenario, it doesn't work, and we break out of prison."

"…Fine," Link nodded, taking a deep breath. He reached deep into his soul, searching for the part of it that the Triforce irrevocably marked. Through their strange, new bond, he could sense that Time and Wind were doing the same. He heard the king shout something, and the guards around him began closing in.

Yet, just as Link was about to call it and start working on an escape plan, he gasped, a surge of lightning blooming out from his soul, coalescing on his left hand. He looked down, and wanted to laugh, but limited himself to a smirk as he raised his clenched fist into the air, divine light streaming from the golden triangles on the back of his hand.

Shocked, and even horrified, gasps rang out around him, the guards backing away, eyes wide. Link paid them no mind, walking through the parting crowd. Though he did pause at the entrance to the rampart, extending his middle finger and saying, "Next time, just do what I say."

He lowered his fist as he entered the structure, letting out a hiss as the Triforce violently ejected itself from his soul. He ran up the stairs, cradling his left hand, "Let's not do that again."

"Agreed," Time said, sounding winded himself.

"Let's get the fuck out of here before everyone picks their jaws up off the ground," Wind added.

"I can never show my face here again," Ori said, voice a mix of despairing and exasperated.

"You'll be fine," Time replied. "…Eventually. Now, however, would you be so kind as to give us some directions?"

Ori was silent for a moment, before grunting, determination spreading through their combined souls, "Turn into this cave—the third left leads to the stables. I've got a horse. He should be well-rested and ready for a journey."

Link grinned, sprinting down the cave, "Alright boys, let's get this done quick!"

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A/N: Given my track record, they will not 'get this done quick'. Be sure to leave a review. Later.