Chapter 11: Finding A Routine

Saturday, April 4 – Wednesday, April 8

With the removal of Colonel Fitzwilliam, life began to settle into a regular pattern for the Rosings residents.

For Elizabeth, it meant morning walks (sometimes with Anne's accompaniment), needlework, and pianoforte practice. Charlotte would often join the young ladies for tea, Lady Catherine had been shown the prudence of spending tea time with Mr. Collins discussing upcoming sermons or tenants who needed pastoral intervention.

Darcy kept up his correspondence with stewards, solicitors, and connections to ensure none of his other interests were neglected during his time at Rosings Park. He went out of his way to avoid both his aunt and Anne, refusing to answer questions from Lady Catherine and avoiding lectures from Anne.

Riding through Rosings Park broke up his monotony, making him intimately familiar with the property and tenants. He indulged himself with fishing a few times but found it left too much time to think. He was best served by burying himself in some sort of work. He only saw the ladies at dinner and rarely joined them in the parlor after, preferring to spend his after-dinner hours in the library.

After the rest of the house retired for the day, Darcy took the stairway to Miss Bennet. As their visits continued, both became more accustomed to the arrangement and more comfortable with each other. They would start with wine and some banal chit-chat in the sitting area before removing to the bed. Darcy quickly became a proficient lady's maid, at least in the removal of robes, stays, and hairpins. Miss Bennet learned the finer points of untying a cravat without choking the man wearing it (no matter how much she may have felt he deserved it.) Although she preferred to keep her chemise on, Darcy preferred them both completely unclothed.

Once disrobed, they would proceed, after which Darcy would usually drift into a light slumber while Miss Bennet cleaned herself. She would return to her bed, remaining awake a bit longer while resting with her head on his arm or chest (at his request), wondering if she was doing the right thing. Darcy would slip off during the night, leaving her to awake alone.

When Darcy asked about her intentions of confiding in her sister, Miss Bennet assured him that this was one thing she would never share with her sister. If Darcy understood the depth of despondency the breach caused Miss Bennet, he would not have felt so relieved. He would not have relished the satisfaction he found in sharing this secret with her-one that not even her dearest sister would know. (Never mind how many of his own family shared in the knowledge), Darcy now felt an intimate confidence between the two of them.

Downstairs in the servant's hall, Peeke dutifully reported on the close friendship growing between the young mistress and Miss Bennet, as well as the healthful effects the friendship had for Miss de Bourgh. She told of how the new friend was lifting the mistress' spirits by granting her a reprieve from her mother's overbearing presence. Peeke claimed the young mistress looked to be improving under her friend's care. The daily walks had noticeably improved Miss de Bourgh's health. Miss de Bourgh's mind was improving as her friend read to her. Other upstairs servants confirmed all that Peeke said, meaning the servants' prayers were being answered; they continued their prayers and spread their gossip among the tenants and townspeople.

~~~oo0oo~~~

Thursday, 9 April 1812

As planned, Charles Bingley arrived a few days before the wedding and, much to Elizabeth's joy, Jane accompanied him. Elizabeth excused herself as soon as she could politely do so, and veritably ran to the parsonage to greet her beloved sister.

Throwing her arms around her sister, whom she had only seen one night since Christmas, she cried "dear Jane, how much I've missed you!"

Jane returned the embrace and professed that she had missed Elizabeth just as much. "I am so thankful Mr. Darcy wrote to Charles, else I would have no chance to see you until next year."

Elizabeth was momentarily embarrassed but hid her shame by taking her sister to task for using Mr. Bingley's Christian name. Now it was Jane's turn to blush. With a shy smile, Jane looked at Elizabeth, grasping her hands. "Charles offered for me and Papa has given his blessings."

Elizabeth squealed with excitement. "I knew it," she cried. "I knew he was in love with you and would offer for you if given the chance."

"We have decided to marry on the twenty-first day of May. Do you think Miss de Bourgh will let you come home to stand with me? Charles is asking Mr. Darcy to stand for him."

"She must," cried Elizabeth without thinking. "How could I not stand with my dearest sister at such a joyful time?"

The pair moved into the house to join Charlotte as Jane told of Mr. Bingley's return to Netherfield and his visits to Longbourn. His subsequent proposal, Papa's unique blessings, and his sisters' wishes of joy were all examined in much detail.

"Mama must be unbearable!" Elizabeth laughed, feeling pity for her father having to suffer her mother's joy. Neither of his favorite daughters were there to soften the blow.

Jane showed only a bit of annoyance. "She does seem to be pleased with the development." Elizabeth and Charlotte laughed at the understatement. The three of them spent the morning discussing weddings, wedding clothes, and wedding trips until Elizabeth was forced to return to Rosings, hoping she could get an invitation for both Jane and Charlotte to come to Rosings Park for the morrow.

~~~oo0oo~~~

"For a man days away from his wedding, you seem glum," Bingley noted as the men played billiards and shared congratulations with glasses of brandy.

"True, but I am not to marry my angel like you are with Miss Bennet," Darcy deflected. As expected, Bingley expounded on the charms and beauty of his betrothed and his anticipation of bliss after his upcoming nuptials. After which Bingley asked his good friend to stand up for him.

"It is Jane's wish to have Miss Elizabeth stand with her if Miss de Bourgh is willing to part with her for a week. She could travel with you." Bingley offered hopefully. He desperately wanted to please his dear Jane, and having Miss Elizabeth Bennet at her side would be just the thing.

Darcy's countenance darkened as he considered how such an arrangement could happen. If Peeke traveled with them, it would keep Elizabeth's respectability. While inappropriate, they could stay in his Town home overnight with Elizabeth staying as a guest of Georgiana. But how would he arrange visits while in Hertfordshire? Was it possible for her to stay at Netherfield as a guest of the Bingleys? If Georgiana traveled to Hertfordshire with them, Elizabeth could stay in Netherfield as Georgiana's guest. That would work.

Darcy told his friend he saw no reason to keep Miss Elizabeth Bennet from the event. He would intercede to secure the necessary agreements from Anne and Lady Catherine.

Looking at Darcy questioningly, Charles asked, "Would you not be the one to grant permission? At that point, Miss de Bourgh will be Mrs. Darcy and both she and all of Rosings would fall under your care." Starting, Darcy smiled slightly when he realized the truth of Charles' assertion. It would be his decision, not that of Anne or Lady Catherine.

"You are right, Charles. It still seems unreal to me that I shall be married in a few days. Yes. Miss Elizabeth Bennet will be able to attend her sister's wedding, and she will travel to Hertfordshire with me." Darcy quickly dismissed the pleasing envisage of traveling with her. In May it would be warm enough so there would be no need for cover and if she wore a particularly low cut gown in the bouncing carriage… Shaking the scandalous thoughts from his mind, the men discussed bringing Darcy's sister wherein Darcy began suggesting room arrangements for the trip.

~~~oo0oo~~~

Elizabeth's euphoria carried through the evening and was still noticeable when Darcy entered her room, she was waiting for him, wearing a silk nightdress. She rushed to him, placing a hand on each cheek, and pulling his face to her own to passionately kiss him. Darcy pulled her closer. "You are welcome to greet me this way every night, madam!" he smiled.

Returning his smile, she tangled one hand in his hair while wrapping the other around his shoulder and pulled him to the bed, she knew the pleasure of their activities would make the day perfect. Her excitement at Jane's engagement aroused her emotions and she threw herself fully into Mr. Darcy's attentions. On this night her only thoughts were of his ability to physically please her. She was no longer troubled with worries about his arrogance or of her duty to participate.

As they drifted off to sleep, laying cuddled next to each other, Elizabeth wondered at their passion. While not denying the physical sensations, she had never before sought them out or initiated the acts as soon as Mr. Darcy entered. She speculated about the experience for him. It seemed to act as a sleeping potion as he always dozed after, though usually not for long. He would wake after a time and remove to his room. Anne was right, Mr. Darcy was gentle and kind in bed. Strangely, his behavior made it easier for her to separate her night-life from her day-life.

The night Mr. Darcy was a different man than the day Mr. Darcy. The night Darcy was attentive and kind and she felt she could love such a man, despite the occasional thoughtless or rude comment.

Then the sun would rise and shed light on the daytime Darcy who remained proud and aloof, and refused to be in her company. On the rare occasions he joined the women, he barely acknowledged her presence and refused to speak. It ensured she would not form an attachment due to their intimate encounters.

He was a most confusing being—all kindness at night while rejecting her in the daylight.

Not that he was free from guilt in their sin, but such behaviors were accepted as customary in men. She refused to bow to his hypocritical disgust. He was doing this for gain, just as she was. She was here for a purpose and would not forget that

Although she was becoming more comfortable around Anne, her new friend was the oddest woman. While Anne seemed genuine in her desire for closeness, there was something intangible about the woman that made it difficult for Elizabeth to sketch her character. Admittedly, Elizabeth's confidence in her ability to sketch characters had been greatly shaken in recent weeks. Even so, until she could resolve the peculiarity about Anne that troubled her, they would never have a confidence close to the one she shared with Charlotte.

Elizabeth gently reached out to touch his warm body next to her. As she heard him sleeping in the darkness of the moonless night, she again resolved that this was what she must do. It helped keep her protected. She fell asleep resting on his chest, which they both enjoyed.

~~~oo0oo~~~

Friday, 10 April 1812

Darcy awoke just as the first rays of sunlight started peeking over the horizon to find Elizabeth curled comfortably inside his arms. He realized the danger of staying but was unwilling to pull away just yet, relishing the sensations of her proximity. This is what it would be like each morning if she were to be my wife.

A few minutes later, she stretched while letting out a satisfied groan before realizing he remained in her bed. Appalled at waking up unclothed in his presence, Elizabeth scooted away from him while keeping her nudity hidden beneath the bedclothes. He grinned, her shyness amusing him, and reached out to stroke her cheek, as he bid her a good morning.

Elizabeth was confused. It was daylight, he should be gone. She stammered her return greeting. Looking around nervously, she reminded him, "Sir, you should return to your rooms. All would be lost if this becomes known."

Nodding in agreement, Darcy left the bed. Elizabeth averted her eyes to allow him some privacy to redress but glanced back at him. Darcy took no shame in standing naked before her, smiling when he noticed her misdirected gaze, which further annoyed her.

Once he was gone, Elizabeth dressed for a morning walk, with plans to spend some time at the parsonage before returning for the morning meal. She was relieved to find Mr. Collins out for the morning and relished being able to spend private time with her sister and friend. While helping Charlotte with her morning duties, the three dear friends enjoyed lively conversations about Jane's upcoming marriage. There was much to hear as the marriage threw Mrs. Bennet into hysterics comparing Jane's betrothal with Miss de Bourgh's and making conjectures on the married lives of both Jane and Anne. The notorious letter from Aunt Margaret was mentioned at one point. Jane was scandalized when she learned that Charlotte and Elizabeth had read the letter together.

"Elizabeth, that is not proper for a maiden!"

"Oh dear Jane, why not?" she asked. "We know I shall never marry. No man will love me like Bingley loves you," she teased.

"That is no reason for you not to marry," Jane gently chided. "You would not wish for such a relationship, it would not suit you. There have been many gentlemen who admire you. With your new-found wealth, one may be emboldened to approach you." Laughing, Elizabeth brushed off Jane's endless hope but privately thought of the Colonel's offer.

"Since I believe I will never find this mythical man, dearest Aunt Margaret has given me a thorough knowledge of how to pleasure myself!"

Jane's eyes and mouth opened wide in shock. "Elizabeth, you would never do such a thing!"

Charlotte asked, "Why not? Why should women not achieve such pleasure if the man they are stuck with is not proficient?" Ignoring Jane's discomposure, she continued. "You know neither the beau monde nor working-class women are denying themselves. They purchase dildos as a substitute. I read Lord Rochester's poem. We are the only ones expected to deny ourselves."(1)

"CHARLOTTE!" Jane gasped. She could not believe her dear friend, now a parson's wife, would speak of such scandalous things.

"It is only the truth." Cocking her head to the side, she confided to her friends, "You would be surprised at what the parishioners have taught me. They confide quite intimate details of their lives." Elizabeth eagerly started to ask for more details when Jane interrupted.

"Elizabeth. They shared those with Charlotte in confidence. We cannot ask her to betray their trust." Jane was firm where she felt herself to be right. Elizabeth laughed once again but made a note to ask Charlotte later. It was the act of a moment, when Elizabeth offered to transcribe the letter for Jane as a wedding gift. Charlotte agreed it would be a most useful gift, one she and Mr. Bingley should peruse together on their wedding night. It would provide a useful antidote to the conversation Jane would likely receive from her mother. Blushing, Jane agreed. (2) Moving on to more acceptable topics, the women happily passed the time until Elizabeth had to return to Rosings Park.

~~~oo0oo~~~

Anne invited Mrs. Collins and Miss Bennet to spend the day at Rosings Park, including a tour of Elizabeth's quarters. Darcy and Bingley took advantage of the fine spring day by going for a ride.

Once they were under the open sky, Bingley remembered, "Darcy, I have not properly thanked you for your letter. If not for you, I would still be struggling to decide if Jane's affections had been real or just a dream."

Darcy nodded at his friend. "Your happiness is my reward."

Bingley looked sidewise at his friend. "Jane and I spoke of it, we both owe you much but… we wonder how you came to have such information. Miss Elizabeth seems the only source," he lifted his eyebrows in questions, "but given how much you quarrel, we could not imagine her sharing such a confidence with you." Darcy startled, shifting uncomfortably in the saddle trying to come up with something other than the truth. Unable to immediately create a fable, he decided on an altered version of the truth.

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet and I don't quarrel, we occasionally debate. There is no antipathy." Considering how to phrase the rest to his best advantage, he continued. "I do not recall the exact details," which may not have been precisely true, "but I overheard Miss Elizabeth Bennet mentioning her sister was disappointed to only have seen your sisters when she called in London. I felt it my responsibility to let you know." Without mentioning more, Darcy felt the answer would suffice.

"How did you know her aunt and uncle's address?"

"I…ehm…," Darcy glanced at Bingley who looked all innocence. He sighed. "For that, I asked Miss Elizabeth Bennet."

"So you and Miss Elizabeth interact better with one another now?"

"To what do these questions tend?" Darcy asked apprehensively. Yes, he and Elizabeth interacted much better now, but that was none of his concern.

Bingley sighed. "As Jane's favorite sister, Miss Elizabeth will frequently be in our company. As my friend, you will also be in our company. We would like to know you can be trusted in each other's company without animosity."

Relieved, Darcy assured Bingley, "We are in company daily, often with little to speak of." That they were too busy to speak, Bingly need not know. "All will be well for any future meetings." For the first time, he considered future meetings with Miss Elizabeth Bennet, meetings once the contract was complete. It unsettled him. Deciding this was not the proper time to deliberate on such future events, Darcy turned his thoughts back to the ride.

Bingley tentatively broached Darcy's wedding two days hence. "I hate to see you so forlorn about something you should anticipate."

Staring at the horizon, Darcy asked for Bingley's confidences in what he would say next. Bingley vowed his silence. Darcy explained he had to marry Anne to produce an heir that would save Rosings Park-"the other option is unthinkable."

Bingley responded sympathetically, adding, "If I had to produce an heir with your cousin, I would be miserable as well!" The men rode in silence until Bingley decided to lighten the mood. "Jane is delighted Miss Elizabeth will have Longbourn. It is quite a gift for Miss de Bourgh to give her."

"I am glad she will have it. She does much to keep Anne's spirits up, something life with Lady Catherine makes difficult. I may not care for this arrangement with Anne, but she does deserve some happiness in what time she has left."

Lowering his brow, Charles reminded him, "You deserve some happiness as well." He considered for a moment, "maybe Miss Elizabeth can give both of you happiness. She is quite pretty. You can close your eyes and picture she is the one beneath you!" At Darcy's shocked look, Bingley quickly retracted. "I never should have suggested that. Miss Elizabeth is everything proper and my future sister. She does not deserve me to use her in such a base way. I forgot, you consider her merely tolerable. I have always thought her nearly as handsome as Jane, just too quick. She would make me look a fool."

Taken aback at the thought of Miss Elizabeth as merely tolerable, Darcy slipped into his practiced mask of indifference. He quickly changed the conversation to one of the estate repairs, but the memory of his insult before even meeting Miss Elizabeth weighed on his spirit.

~~~oo0oo~~~

As the clock struck eleven, Darcy started toward the staircase that led to Miss Elizabeth's room when Bingley knocked unexpectedly on his door, complaining of an inability to adjust to the earlier country hours. After an interminably long discussion on what Jane was doing (sleeping, Darcy guessed, she was a county gentlewoman) and also how Caroline reacted to the news of Darcy's marriage (surprisingly calm), Bingley finally retired.

It was well past midnight when Darcy finally made it to Miss Elizabeth's room. He found her asleep at her writing desk. She looked to have been writing a letter, but her candle was out and the moonless night made it too dark to see what she had written.

As he gently stroked her back, Miss Elizabeth roused and sat up sleepily, breathing "Oh, I am sorry sir, I must have dozed." Darcy wrapped her in his arms and moved her to the bed. She woke more as he gently removed her robe and gown. He quietly apologized for being so late, explaining Bingley's delay. Sliding beside her, he nestled close to fend off the chill of the bedclothes. As they warmed, sleep tugged at them both. But Miss Elizabeth forced herself to remain awake, and began to touch Mr. Darcy in pleasing ways. She stroked his chest before working her way down until she reached his favorite destination.

Darcy delicately ran his finger from her throat down to her Elysium where he began his exploits to watch her reach her satisfaction. Darcy prided himself on her obvious sensitivity to his touch. Her sensitivity to him. Every night he found her ready for him. While Anne had stocked the room with oils, they had never been needed.

Darcy tried not to fall asleep, but once again awoke at daybreak with her tangled in his arms. With Bingley in the house, he could not risk staying. Carefully extracting himself, he kissed her head and dressed, returning to his room without waking her.

~~~oo0oo~~~

(1) Lord Rochester wrote Signor Dildo around 1673. It's online if you want to read it. Rutgers University has a version with notes explaining some of the terms. The movie The Libertine is about his life.

(2) I know many will think this a scandalous discussion between the besties. Although I realize it's not something everyone would enjoy, I've had some great times and learned much from such discussions with my female family members and close friends—only rarely including a few bottles of wine. More often they are held while cooking or doing dishes or folding laundry.

These discussions encompass everything in our lives, not just sex, discussing it all with a brutal honesty that left us feeling like we weren't alone in our struggles with relationships or child-rearing or anything else. The older ladies give us hints of what is to come, the younger ones remind us where we've come from. They are our gossips, our ya-ya's, our girlfriends, our coffee therapy. Whatever we call them, these women are our constant supports that we can call on for anything. I know from first-hand accounts (my great grandmother and her older sisters) these discussions were happening among women in the late 1800s in small-town USA. I'm superimposing my experience to the early 1800s England with the belief that people have always been people and most of our core behaviors and drives haven't changed that much over time, particularly our drive to connect and bond—not just sexually—with others.

Note: "Chit-chat" (used at the start of the chapter) has been in use since 1710. That surprised me.