That's my girl.
God. Hearing Dean say those words again was like a punch, knocking the wind right out -
"Comin' from your right!"
What?
Shit.
As a shadowy figure appeared in her periphery, Abby veered and slid, knocking the monster down before chopping off its head with an arc of her blade. The head rolled away from the prone body, the blood pooling underneath.
"Nice." Dean nodded to her as she rose. He wiped the bloody weapon off on his jeans from his own kill. Holy hell, she almost forgot how good he looked hunting. So damn confident. So freaking sexy… "On your left!"
The shove knocked her off balance for only a second, which she quickly countered with a quick kick and slice. Blood spurted across the back of her hand and along the hilt of the blade. Bye-bye, vampy. Asshole.
Lord, she needed to get her head in the game and pay attention to something besides Dean's body. But how could she when she noticed every little nuance? Every breath. Every stolen glance. And, God, every time he grinned, it still left Abby breathless-and the cocky SOB knew it. Good to know he still had some game even if he was starting to look like Grizzly Adams. Abby had to laugh. She knew that comparison to Bobby was going to drive him batty. Still, it was good to know Purgatory hadn't permanently disabled her libido.
Dean was somehow in Purgatory and Abby could strangle the bastard for coming...but goddamn. Her heart wasn't prepared to see him. Quite frankly, she was afraid to take her eyes off him for even a second, fearing that he was just part of her twisted psyche. A brilliant coping mechanism. Maybe he was just a Purgatory Tulpa of her creation. But then his hand would caress over the back of hers as they made their way through the foggy wilderness as a reminder of his reality. He was right there...and she just couldn't-
"Hello? Abs? How we doin' over there," he asked, glancing down to his watch before turning his attention back to her. Dean looked up with furrowed brows. "Abs?"
"Hmm?" She slowed her pace and twisted to meet his stare over her right shoulder.
He took a step closer, matching her pace. "Just checking where your head is at. We good? You still with me?"
She wiped her brow, smearing blood on her forehead as she trudged along. "Always."
Always? Shit. God, this wasn't fair. The honorable thing to do right now would be to tell him...
Abby's forward momentum came to a dead stop from the hand wrapped around her right wrist. Dean led her off into a group of trees. Once concealed in the shadows, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight to him.
"Why-why are we stopping," she asked, burrowing her face into his chest, enjoying the warmth of him against her body against the chill. But there was something off with him, a tension in him that she couldn't quite read. "Dean, are you okay?"
He leaned forward, resting his forehead against her own. "I forgive you," he rasped, his body trembling against her own. "Shit…"
I forgive you. Clearly, she wasn't the only one that had stuff running through their brain.
"Dean, I—"
"No. Let me finish. You know I'm not good at this whole...feelings and talkin' crap." His hands rubbed up and down her spine, his lips brushing the top of her head. "I forgive you...for it all. The bite. The lies. How you tricked me. I-I...okay, honestly, part of me is still mad about it...the bite for sure. Probably will be for a while."
She nodded, her cheek grazing against his jacket. "Well, can't say I'm not surprised or that I blame you. You have every right to be-"
"But, you did what you had to and I'm the last person who should be talkin' shit about that. Hell, you and I both know I've made stupid choices and can hold a grudge like it's my damn hobby. But...it would never change the fact that I..." His words choked off.
Oh, God. She squeezed him tight. How the Hell was she going to do this to him?
Dean's hands skimmed down her body, cupping her rear with his free hand. He pulled her tighter against him, their fronts smashing together on a gasp.
"God, I missed this," he murmured, his lips sweeping over hers.
"Missed my ass," she whispered against his mouth, which curved up playfully on one side.
"Well, I'm not even gonna try to lie about that. Yeah, I definitely missed your ass, Abs," he laughed darkly. "And, when we get back, I'm going to kiss it along with every single part of that body. I've actually got a plan."
"Oh, do you now?" Stop this, she thought.
"I'm probably going to come off as a completely selfish prick for this, but you're going to be all mine-just mine-for days. Hell, maybe a solid week. No one else. Just me. You. Completely naked. Every position. Every freaking surface available. Bed. Shower. Tub. Counter. Chair. Table. Wall. Floor. Ceiling if we could somehow. Just the two of us screwing each other's brains out until we're sweaty and pass out and can barely walk. How does that sound?"
"Mmmmm, sounds like Heaven." Or the closest she was ever going to get to it. "Can we get some cold beer and greasy bacon cheeseburgers like we used to when we first started sneaking around? If we are going to do all that physical activity, I'm going to require sustenance. And, I really, really miss bacon."
He moaned. "A girl after my own clogged heart. God, I love you."
"I love you too," she murmured, trying to keep her voice steady.
Dean forgave her. He loved her. And she did not remotely deserve either.
That's right because you're a liar. You're a tease. Damn it all to Hell.
She tilted her head up and pressed her lips to his, kissing him all too briefly before pulling back. Dean's eyes went down to his watch again, and he swore under his breath.
"Even though my brain is now in X-rated territory, that kiss is gonna have to do, for now, babe. We gotta keep moving." He grabbed onto her hand and guided her across the terrain.
Just like her, Dean was hiding something. Even though she was getting snippets of his thoughts, the happy ones anyway, some were guarded behind a wall that she couldn't penetrate. The fucker was shielding and damn her for teaching him-and damn him for getting so good at it. What the hell did he do? Those Winchester boys were gluttons for frickin' punishment. God, no matter how many times deals screwed them in the end, they couldn't help themselves. What had Dean risked this time?
It twisted her gut when she thought about all the terrible things she attempted to free Dean from Hell. Kidnapping. Torture. Possession. Murder. She was willing to destroy everything and everyone, including her soul, to bring him home. Remembering that brought a chill right up her spine. Though, Abby honestly doubted Dean could do those types of things now. Then again…
There was no denying Dean was different now. Abby felt it when he kissed her in the cave. It was— she couldn't even describe it. Sure, that kiss had taken her by surprise, but Abby could sense that, for him, kissing her was like finally breathing air after drowning in the undertow. And she felt like a total ass when she pulled away, but it was a visceral reaction, like touching a pan on the stove. But the way he winced when she did it...her damn chest nearly caved in. He didn't deserve a moment of the agony she put him through. Not one damn second.
And Abby was doing it. Again.
But she couldn't help it. Feelings were things she had kill-switched. It was a simple kill or be killed in Purgatory. And that meant everyone regardless of age, species, or gender. There were no shades of gray. Shutting down on the flip-side meant survival-and she couldn't give a damn about anyone else. And as long as she kept moving, she didn't have time to think about the whats, whys, or whos she left behind.
When his mouth touched hers, it all trickled back into her consciousness like a goddamn tsunami. Abby was overwhelmed. Overpowered and devastated all at once, she didn't know what the hell to do with everything. That's why she took a breath to steady herself because she forgot how much hold Dean had on her. What was clear was he still fucking loved her-and he was suffocating in his heartache.
With emotions teetering on the edge of a cliff, she jumped—for him. She let him kiss her. It was like being struck by lightning, electricity raced from deep down and through her whole body and Abby remembered. All those million little moments they shared came surging back, and she was reminded of everything. And at the first taste of him, Abby was a goner. Things quickly spun. Hands exploring. Lips on skin. Tongues stroking. Hips surging. It was frantic...and then he pulled it back.
It was at that exact moment that the devastation set in, her heart had been reminded of what she left behind. Then he revealed that his reason for coming to Purgatory was not for a fun conjugal visit—and he asked her to come home with him.
Home.
At first, Abby thought Dean had to be kidding, but the more he fidgeted and tensed up when she was asking questions, she realized he wasn't. He begged, using please and calling her Abigail, something he rarely did—it fucking broke her. How the hell could she say no to him? So, she put her hand in his, praying he found a way to bring her home. There had to be something-anything-other than what she had uncovered on her own. There had to be. But when you were hoping for a goddamn miracle, if anyone could find it, it would be the Winchesters.
And if there wasn't? Well, she needed to make damn sure Dean made it back home safe and whole.
"Dean," she said, grabbing a hold of his free hand as they soldiered on.
"Yeah," he answered, squeezing hers in return.
"H-how are the kids...doing?"
He looked at her, his eyes glassy. "You can't see them, can you?"
She shook her head, and that was the truth. You were blind in Purgatory with no clue what was going on topside.
"Do you want the real answer...or the one you'd rather hear," he sighed, rolling his shoulders.
"Real."
Dean scrubbed his hand down his face and over his jaw. "I don't really know. Sammy's been the one in contact with them. Honestly," he replied, a thickness to his voice. "I have spoken to any of them or seen any of them in...shit, has to be months now. I just...I can't deal with it right now. I dove headfirst into drinking and hunting..."
As Dean continued, explaining how life had been for him without her, all the miles he and Sam had put behind them as he found solace in fighting evil-something caught her attention.
Something was nearby.
She broke their hold and she slowed down as Dean forged ahead.
Over there, to their right, lurking in the shadows, concealed by a group of boulders. Abby sniffed the air. Yep, it was a scent she'd picked up vaguely for a while. Only now it was intense. Iron...and wet dog?
A werewolf had been stalking them and was now in striking distance. Her lips pulled back, her canines draw, a snarl escaping her lips. The monster lifted his head, looking directly at her, smiling wickedly before the creature's slit eyes shifted over to Dean.
"Winchester," he growled, and the panic rose to her throat.
Crap.
He recognized Dean. Of-fucking-course. It had to be one that the Winchesters had taken out. And then the monster was running almost faster than Abby could track, a dark gray blur—and he was speeding directly for Dean.
No. No. No.
"DEAN," she screeched, seeing him turn around to see the wolf heading straight for him.
Dean had his weapon at the ready, but Abby saw the wolf was coming at him in too fast. He would assuredly be knocked down, if not knocked out, losing his weapon, and then…
Oh hell no, she would not allow that. He was going to make it home safe and sound.
She pushed herself harder, pushing forward off the balls of her bare feet, her muscles burning at the strain of the speed, legs wobbling. She was practically a blur as she headed towards the inevitable collision course with the creature that was headed for her man.
Oh Shit.
Abby could sense another being nearby. A female werewolf skulked in the camouflage of the misty forest and was coming for Dean undetected. It was a trap.
"DEAN, on your left," she shouted, her voice trembling as the terror coursed through her. She willed her body to pick up speed, her muscles absolutely on fire.
Dean twisted and pivoted just in time to catch the female coming at him, elbowing her in the ribs before swinging back around with his blade. Seriously, the move was pure poetry in motion. And he took her down. Thank God.
In a millisecond, Abby was within a foot of Dean when she intercepted the male werewolf, launching her whole body at it, her shoulder meeting his chest with a fleshy thud. Her body jolted. Her chest burned. Bones clanged. Skin ripped. Joints locked up, as she hit the ground hard, rolling over and over with the weight of the werewolf crushing her every revolution.
Sky. Ground. Sky. Ground. Over and over. Her shoulders became raw as the flesh tore from the rocks and sticks covering the ground with every rotation.
Her entire left side slammed against something hard, she heard a crack in her shoulder. Every muscle in her body jarred from the impact. There was a dull, constant ring in her ears. Abby glanced over to her left. It was a granite boulder that had stopped her. A huge boulder.
Why was she rolling, to begin with?
Was someone calling her?
Abby put her hands on the ground, slowly pushing up to a seated position.
"ABBY!"
All Abby's dazed thinking left her open to an attack. She roared when the horrible sting and pain on her left side transmitted from her gut to her brain. She hissed and swore, immediately putting her hand on the wound, the warm liquid flowing out steadily under her palm.
Suddenly, beside her was the werewolf. Correction; a headless werewolf with Dean standing over its corpse, weapon in hand. She slumped to the ground, pressing her hand to her stomach. Clawed. She'd been fucking clawed.
Super.
Dean crouched down beside her, his eyes giving her a once-over. His mouth set in a tight line when he saw the red flowing from under her hand.
"Babe, you okay," he asked, moving her trembling hand to look at the wound. She grunted. He swore.
"How bad is it," she hissed as he took a good look.
His eyes wouldn't meet hers. "It doesn't look too deep." He was so lying.
"I'm fine," she huffed, wincing as he helped her to her feet. Woah. The world spun. She was lying. Her whole body was one big tangible ache. "Are you okay?"
"I'm all right. Come on. It's not much farther." Dean slid her right arm over his shoulder and his arm around her waist to support her. She leaned into him, taking in his warmth and hold while she still could.
They started again, slower now as she hobbled along with him, his eyes periodically looking to his watch. This journey was clearly time-sensitive, and now she was only slowing him down.
He kept going, keeping her occupied by telling her what was going on with their kids.
"You know, this is a lot like our first date," she laughed wearily, kissing his neck, followed instantly by a grimace.
He glanced down at her with a tense half-smile. "We had a first date?"
"What, you don't count our first hunt out alone as a date," she asked, her mouth curving up into a smile, trying to give him something positive to focus on.
"No, not really. But, I'm game. Okay, fine, if that was our first stakeout date, how the hell are you comparing this to that?"
"The Hunting. Smooching. Me getting stabbed. You, having to save my bacon."
"Well, we haven't had sex yet, so it's not quite the same," he crookedly smiled and winked, kissing the side of her head. "Man, the things I'm going to do to you when we get home."
Her stomach dipped delightfully at the promise. The things he was going to do to her, huh? She knew his mind and could only fantasize about what he had planned. She would rock his world, she thought with a secret grin. At least, she prayed to God she could. She had to hold onto that hope.
Her hand on her side was colored crimson, but she was healing, albeit very slowly. If she only had some blood—
Abby's eyes drifted to the pulse on the side of Dean's throat—
No.
She would never drink from Dean ever again. That was a one-time deal to save his life. Abby would never ask him to do that or put him through that again, not when he had forgiven her in some capacity. Dean looked down where she covered her injury, his jaw set.
"Abs, what happens to the monsters who get killed here?"
The color drained from her face. That was a very good question.
"I honestly don't know. I always thought it would be like one of Jamie's video games. That we'd get killed, regenerate, and have to keep living this over and over again—but no one I've seen die has come back. So, I have no idea. Frankly, it's not something I've wanted to think about, or is it something I cared about until you got here."
His expression hardened and his arm wrapped around her tighter. "Just hold on."
They made it to the tree he had marked with only a few minutes to spare. Thank fucking God. Tessa would be back, and Abby would be coming back with him. For the first time in months, he felt a shred of optimism—and that was scary.
Alright, time to spill the beans and accept the inevitable shit. Taking a deep breath, he twisted Abby to face him, holding her up with his arms. It was time to fess up and lay it all out on the table.
"Okay. Now, look. Don't be mad-"
One of her brows shot up. "That's usually now you start things that are going to make me mad."
He smirked, shaking his head, exhaling a long breath. "A Reaper is coming— "
She scowled when the realization hit her. "I'm sorry...what? Wait—a Reaper? Why would a...wait...did you summon...or are you dead, Dean?"
"Dead? Technically? Yes..uh, .maybe— "
Abby's eyes widened. "DEAN! What the hell?! What are you thinking?!"
Ha, and she thought that was bad? Just wait, babe.
"Abby please, chill. Don't get riled up when you're hurt," he soothed, taking her face between his hands. "I promise we can fight about this at home later! Hell, I'll be happy to fight at home tomorrow. You're going to come with me—"
"Again, there's that little detail where I don't have a body— "
"I know, but the lore says you can possess one— "
She backed up, putting her hands up. "Wait...hold up...that's all you found? You expect me to possess someone? You've lost your damn mind— "
Maybe? That was certainly up for debate. Sam woulda put him in that box. "Would it help if I told you we have a volunteer? Gwen."
Her face fell before she barked out a harsh laugh. "No. No way. Sweet Jesus, what about Cas?! Have you even...?! Gwen?! NO! Besides, Dean, I can't possess anyone— "
"Gwen knows what she's risking, and she's willing, so I am willing to take her up on the offer."
"The offer to steal your best friend's girlfriend's body, who happens to be my best friend, and you using said body in all ways, so your dead wife's soul...spirit...essence...whatever, can come back? No, that sounds completely logically sound and sane, Dean." Abby rolled her eyes and gave him a mocking thumbs up.
"Again, no time to argue. We have to go," Dean swore as he sliced his forearm open, ready to say the incantation so he could take her with topside. "All I have to do is make this sigil in my blood, and you can piggyback with Tessa coming back and go right into Gwen."
Abby took two steps back, squaring her shoulders, meeting him in the eye.
"No, I won't do that, Dean. I'm sorry, I can't," she choked up.
No. No. It's not like he hadn't expected a fight. That was in her nature, but he didn't come that far for her to give up again.
He grabbed her face with trembling hands, looking her dead in the eye. "Yes, you are."
"Is this the only way you've found in the lore? Because if it is, hon, I can't. You don't understand!"
Alarm surged through his whole body. They were wasting time. "I don't understand, huh?! What don't I understand?!"
"I can't, and you need to leave," Abby stated firmly, those beautiful ebony eyes that he missed so much scanning around anxiously for any more approaching creatures. She shoved Dean away, and he seized onto her forearms with force. He wasn't going to let her do this again. Hell no. He couldn't. His fingers squeezed around her bicep.
"No! I'm not letting you leave! You already chose to take off on me once already! Yes, you chose to leave— "
Abby took a step forward, pulling on her arm, her lips drawn in a tight line. "Okay, fine. You're right, Dean. I did choose to leave but what followed wasn't planned— "
"No, Abby, you chose to fucking kill yourself. You left us! And after everything that we've...There was no honor in that— " The words, the resentment that he thought he had overcome, flowed from him like lava. She inhaled sharply, her eyes wide and shining.
"Well, gee, Dean, offing myself wasn't in my top ten scenarios. Plan A wasn't to stab myself, I can fucking assure you, but when they threatened our daughter, I had no choice! And you're going to lecture me about my sacrifice?! Now let go of me or I will make you let me go."
"I'm not giving you a choice this time; you're coming with me," he roared, getting more incensed with every precious second she was wasting.
It was only then he recognized the tears of pain flowing down her cheeks as she'd been struggling against his grip.
Shit. No. NO.
He sore and gulped, letting go of her arms, backing away from her in disgust. Visible angry red marks rose on her pale skin where his hands had been, his fingerprints her forearms. He'd left marks on her. He'd hurt her.
Abby cried as she rubbed her shaking arms, staring him down. "You don't understand; I. Can't. What do you think I tried doing the minute I got here? I can tell you it wasn't sitting here like a damsel in distress waiting for your ass to come save me! I was trying to rescue myself! Look, Dean, I'm sorry you're upset. But the truth? The only reason I just walked back here with you is I wanted to make sure you got back here safe so that you can get home. I knew all along my ass is stuck here."
"I warned you, Dean." They both turned towards the third voice. Tessa was back, leaning against the marked tree with her arms crossed across her chest. "I warned you this was a no go."
Dean shook his head. "You...you knew about this? About Abby?"
She nodded. "This is just the way it is. Now say your goodbyes. We've got to go, Dean."
He spun to confront Tessa. She had to be wrong. "No. There's a chance. She's going to take a ride with us and possess— "
"Dean, if you take her back, that vessel won't just have Abby—they get a two-for-one."
"What," Dean asked, darting back at his wife. Dread curdled in his stomach like sour milk.
"I told you I looked. I asked for help. Turns out that spell I used...if I go back in a physical body," Abby muttered, her eyes darting to the ground. "If you do a summoning ritual, get me into a new body, Lilith can come back."
Dean always waited for the other shoe to drop. Well, there it was. Shoe. Dropped.
He kept his eyes on Abby as Tessa revealed the cold hard truth. "That spell she used to bind Lilith; it's an ancient blood ritual. It's strong and will hold, but it has its price. It bound them beyond just Earth. Dean, as long as Abby is dead, is a spirit, Lilith is trapped in her purgatory for celestial beings. But as soon as Abby gets summoned into a mortal body and she's no longer considered dead— "
"Lilith is free," Abby wept, her eyes meeting his with glistening tears on her lashes. "Gwen is not a true vessel, and she's only half-vamp. I get summoned, Lilith comes with and burns through Gwen. Lilith will just keep jumping from person-to-person, burning through all of them. Gwen will die with me, and Lilith will be out for revenge on our family. She'll go after April. She'd go after our boys. She'd go after you and Sam. I'm sorry, I can't have that on my hands. So you see why I can't. It's just the way it is."
All the color drained from his face. He shook his head no and grabbed her shoulders. "No, I won't accept that. We'll find a way to get her out of you again. Abs, you exorcised her once before— "
"We can't risk it— not after what I had to do. I'm so sorry. I just can't." She shrugged his hands off her body, throwing her arms up, and stepped back, running her hands through her hair as tears ran down her face. She enveloped her arms around herself, her body trembling as she gulped. "I'm so sorry for everything, Dean. I wish I had told you before I— and, God, I needed our last moments together here to not be a goddamn argument! You know that was one of my last thoughts? That we wasted so much time bitching over the dumbest shit? I— I don't want to argue anymore, Dean. I'm so tired of lying. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of the guilt. I'm done."
That hole in his chest reopened to the size of the Grand Canyon. His worst fear felt as bad as it had back in Hell. She was in infinite torture, and it was tearing his damn heart out. There was no peace. There never would be. That's why she hadn't cared when he held the machete to her neck. She'd given up. She welcomed the infinite end, whatever the hell that meant.
With no hesitation, he pulled her to him, surrounding her in his arms. "I can't do this without you, babe. I won't leave you here. I can't." His words were gravelly around the burning knot in his throat.
"Dean, we have to go— now," Tessa proclaimed.
"You have to," she whimpered into his chest, her tears soaking his shirt, her hands locked around his back in a death grip. She lifted her gaze to his, and he fought back the tears. "You can. Look at all the crap you survived before I was even in the picture? You're stronger than you realize. And I know you're hurting bad. I know it's all my fault, and I will never forgive myself. Don't forget to lean on Sammy. Let your brother take care of you. Please promise me you will try to kick it in the ass every day? That's all I ask; that you try and keep going. People need you, Dean. And if you can't do it for me, do it for your kids and your brother."
Before he could argue, she pulled his face down suddenly to hers, kissing him with careless, reckless abandon through her tears. It was a profound and scorching kiss, resonating down to every part of his body and soul. There was a finality at the moment, and he knew in his gut she was saying her goodbye before she pulled back just enough where she could speak, her hands splayed on his cheeks. What she said next was rough and came out so soft and sad, her lower lip quivering around the words.
"I love you more than words, Dean Winchester. You know if there was another way, I would come with you in a heartbeat."
Fuck.
That settled it. If he couldn't bring her home, he'd bring home to her.
"Get out of here, Tessa," Dean said, keeping his eyes transfixed on his wife. He tucked a stray piece of her black hair behind her ear. "I'm staying here."
Abby's eyebrows shot up to her hairline. "What? Oh, come on, you can't be serious. You can't stay here. You're not even dead— "
"Give it another minute, and that won't be a problem. Besides, if you have to stay here and fight, I'll just fight alongside you instead of with you. Besides, it looks like you could use backup," he smiled a half-grin.
"Dean, you have people counting on you back home. Did you even tell anyone what you are even doing?"
"A.C. and Dylan are adults. Jamie has Sam. Sam has a family to worry about now. They'll be fine."
"No, we made a deal, Winchester! Don't you remember we swore years ago we would never go on hunts together just so the kids would always have one of us? We promised. I'm holding you to that. One of us needs to be there. You can't let them lose both of us in a matter of months. It'll crush them. Dean, you have to let me go."
"Abby, I love you, and I'm not letting you go." His hand was gripping her forearm again. This time, she looked down at it in outrage.
Her eyes narrowed. "Yes, you are."
With a grunt, Abby caught him off guard, kicking him hard in the chest, propelling him back into the tree. He felt a crack in his shoulder blade as he slumped to the ground, the wind was knocked right out of him.
Holy shit.
Her move hurt more than just his body, now many feet away and out of reach, she stared him down as she continued to walk backward creating more distance.
"Abigail, I swear to God...Get. Over. Here." Goddamn, he wished he had Dead Man's Blood, and a crossbow, so he could take her ass down.
"I'm sorry, Dean. I truly am." she paused, her eyes full of tears and determined. She kept on walking.
"Abby…" He could feel the raw fury ripping through him now as it was clear what she was doing. She picked up the machete that he'd dropped when she hit him.
"I never wanted to hurt you and it kills me because I love you so damn much. But I had to—have to save you."
"I don't need saving, Maybe I don't want to be saved."
"Well, tough shit, Dean. You are. You don't belong here. And if this is what I have to do to get you home, I'll do it. Even if it means you'll hate me again."
She shifted her attention to the Reaper at his side. "Get him out of here."
"Abigail, don't you freaking dare!"
She ignored him. Completely, utterly, and intentionally ignored him. There were sounds of incoming monsters closing the distance. "Go," Abby ordered Tessa.
"PLEASE…"
Abby paused, worrying her lip. She looked over to Tessa and then to him.
"There may be a way, Dean, and I couldn't do it...but you might—"
"Abigail, I know what you're going to say and don't," Tessa interjected.
"There's only one being that might have the power to break the bond and bring me back….and that's Death."
Tessa sighed, scrubbing her hands down her face. "Abigail—"
"If there's any chance of me getting out, you have to talk to him. He's the only one that cares about the mortals and monsters. Now go home. Hopefully I'll catch you on the flipside at some point. I love you."
"Wait," Dean screamed as Abby turned and sprinted off as fast as she could given her injuries, weapon in hand. At least six monsters immediately surrounded her. She was already stupidly hurt, the odds weren't great. He struggled to get to his feet, his terror mounting with every step he made towards her.
Fuck. It felt like his clavicle was busted. He had a pain in his sternum that was getting worse. He had to get to help her. He had to convince her to come back even if that meant it was with Lilith. He didn't fucking care. He told himself before he got into Purgatory that he was getting home no matter the cost. Screw everything.
He picked up a knife as he made his way to her. He heard her scream in pain as she was knocked to the ground, a vampire straddling her chest, pinning her arms and his heart lurched. No.
He could make it, he could get to her out of sheer will.
Tessa blocked his path.
"Get out of my way!"
"Dean, we can't wait, or you will die," Tessa stated as she placed her hand on Dean's shoulder.
"Abby!"
He inhaled deep and shot up on the hotel room bed, breathing erratically and sweating.
"You. Fucking. Idiot," Gwen loudly scolded, collapsing to the floor beside the bed in a heap. Her elbows were on her knees as her hands ran through her light blonde hair. "I was doing C.P.R for five frickin' minutes! You were dead! Really, really dead!"
"I didn't– know–you–cared, Gwen." It hurt to get those words out, his chest was aching with every breath.
She looked up at him, biting her lip. "Sorry, I think I might have broken a few ribs from the chest compressions."
Ugh. Yeah, she sure did.
"And, no I don't care, but she would. Did you see her?"
Did he see her? Goddammit. Goddamn her.
All he could do was nod between broken, deep sighs. It wasn't helping. There was no catching his breath. No, there was that deep piercing feeling in the center of his chest again. And it wasn't from Gwen's attempts to bring him back. No, this one was the constant ache he had been living with for months. Always right by his sternum. He thought maybe it would be whole after he saw her again, that her being there would fix something. Boy, he had been very wrong on that point. Somehow, it hurt a million times worse after seeing Abby again if that was even possible. God, after having her in his arms again. Hearing her laugh. Touching her. Holding her. Kissing her. For just a little bit of time, they were back to being husband and wife. Partners. Equals. Friends. All of it. Everything important. He was right there. He freaking had her right there. They were almost home. That knowledge of how close he had been, seconds away, and how she had just slipped through his fucking fingers…
He was empty.
Gwen's bright blue eyes were silently staring, gazing at the bloody sigil on his forearm, the one that was not glowing like it was supposed to. "She's not with you, is she?"
Dean couldn't answer, and he couldn't even look at her. His chest was so tight that there was no way he could get the words out. He pulled his knees up, his elbows on his knees, and placed his head in his hands. He was so enraged and full of sorrow he could fucking taste it. All he could manage was to close his eyes and shake his head no.
He heard her sharp, ragged inhale from her position on the floor. Then silence.
A few minutes later, the bed sank as Gwen sat next to him on the hotel mattress. She leaned into him, laying her head on his shoulder. Dean put an arm around her back, softly rubbing circles with his hand, and her body shook with the force as her tears landed on his shirt. He held her as she let all of it out. That's all he could do.
"I'm sorry," he whispered into Gwen's hair.
"It's not your fault, Dean. Knowing Abs, I'm sure she did something stupid to make sure you got back. So...what do we do now?"
"We call upon Death."