Chapter 13: Aunt Margaret Returns
Monday- 13 April 1812
"Let us go and get this nonsense over," growled the earl. "I am past ready to return to London."
Lady Catherine and Lord Matlock's row that morning nearly came to fisticuffs. Lady Catherine had demanded that Matlock House give a ball to celebrate Anne's marriage. When the earl, rationally, pointed out Anne's health would prevent her from attending anything in Town, Lady Catherine was insulted and refused all reason. She continued to demand a ball for her daughter as her birthright. The debate became increasingly contentious, only ending when the siblings were separated to prepare for the upcoming ceremonies.
Anne had Elizabeth with her in her dressing room as Peeke helped both ladies.
"Are you nervous?" Elizabeth asked.
"No. The worst part will be enduring Mr. Collins' sermon. Other than that, it is simply dressing up to sign a paper." Anne seemed bored by it all.
Elizabeth squeezed the young lady's hand. "This is your wedding day. Are you not the least bit excited?"
"No," Anne said flatly.
Changing the topic, Anne reminded Elizabeth their guests would be returning to London after the breakfast. The earl's family and Georgiana would leave immediately, their carriages were already being packed. Bingley and Jane might stay longer, but by the evening Rosings would again be only the four of them.
"After today, things will change for you, also," Anne explained. The servants would expect the household to become that of a married couple. A husband should frequently visit his wife's chambers, particularly with such a crucial need for an heir. To better serve the household, Darcy must now use the main stairway and, until conception is announced, spend more of his time in their wing. He must stay in her room through the night, leaving late enough in the morning that he would be seen traveling back to his room.
"Why not have him move into your wing?" Elizabeth asked.
"It would result in more people knowing of our arrangement," Anne responded. "His valet would certainly know, and we would need more maids to keep up."
Elizabeth nodded, deciding how to manage with the new arrangements. For the past few weeks, she had viewed her life as the day-part and the night-part. During the light of day, she refused to think on what happened at night. She did not associate the lover Mr. Darcy with daylight. Considering this, she organized a new solution. She could associate the lover Mr. Darcy with her room and the disagreeable Mr. Darcy with every other location.
"Once he enters the wing, none will know who's chambers he enters," Anne reassured her. Then frowned as she took Elizabeth's hand. "You are the bride today, not me. Of course, I will stand, and sign, only because I must. In all else, you are my assignee for bride today and going forward." Patting Elizabeth's hand, Anne's expression lightened as she continued, "you may have anticipated your vows a bit, but it is of little consequence. Most do, I am told." Elizabeth could not have felt less like a bride. (1)
Not only had Lady Catherine and the earl fought, but while carrying the group to the chapel, one of the carriages broke a wheel. Then Mr. Collins would not stop blustering over the noble personages in his chapel or start the actual services until Anne reminded him the time was past eleven and if he did not start soon, the ceremony would not be completed by noon. (2) If this was not enough, five short minutes into Mr. Collins' lengthy ceremony, Anne fainted. Elizabeth helped remove her to the front pew until she recovered, upon which Anne asked her friend to stand in for her to complete the ceremony.
Throughout the rest of the ceremony, Elizabeth desperately fought the urge to flee the church and find solace in the solitude of the woods. To have to both recite and receive the couple's vows, as well as to have Mr. Darcy place the ring on her finger—of all marvels, it fit her finger—was the height of mortification for her. Managing to finally struggle through the necessities, Elizabeth concentrated on getting an exhausted Anne back to Rosings Park after the ceremony. The new groom helped by carrying Anne to the carriage and from the carriage to her place in the morning room.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth negotiated a truce between the earl and Lady Catherine: An agreement that the bride should be allowed to set the date of the ball. Richard quietly reminded his father that Anne had no desire for a ball, thus placating the siblings until the earl and his party could leave.
As the Matlock carriages were being loaded, Georgiana began crying, she clung to her brother, and begged him to let her stay. She dreaded leaving him. Although her brother was newly married to Anne, she could spend her time with Elizabeth—her new friend. Darcy looked to be near hysterics himself. Seeing the young girl's distress, Elizabeth wrapped her arm around Georgiana's waist, smoothly guiding her away from her brother while comforting her.
"In just a few weeks your brother and I will be stopping as we pass through London on our way to Mr. Bingley and Jane's wedding. Maybe I can stay with you rather than my aunt and uncle?" Lowering her voice conspiratorially, Elizabeth drew Georgiana in saying, "I believe your brother intended to invite you to Hertfordshire with him as well. He plans to have you stay with him at Netherfield." Georgiana's spirit renewed, and she did not think to question how Miss Elizabeth would know such information. Composing herself, she bid him a proper adieu.
Mr. Bingley and Jane stayed another hour. Elizabeth made sure she slipped that copy of the much-discussed instructional letter into Jane's pocket before she left. Jane blushed furiously but thanked her sister. After a tear-filled embrace, Elizabeth sent her beloved sister off with Jane's beloved Mr. Bingley.
Mrs. Collins tried to persuade her husband to take their cue to return to the parsonage. His exuberance over the illustrious marriage he had just performed would not allow him to depart. Finally, the former Miss de Bourgh, now Mrs. Darcy, took him aside and whispered that she and her husband would like to retire to their marital bed and needed his absence before they could do so. Mr. Collins' face turned an interesting shade of puce as he expeditiously gathered his wife, gave his good wishes, and fled back to the parsonage dragging his bemused wife behind him.
~~~oo0oo~~~
Once the last guests had left, Elizabeth retired to her chambers utterly exhausted from the efforts of the day. Lady Catherine, Anne, and Darcy remained downstairs a bit longer to receive the good wishes of the servants and their prayers for the immediate onset of a blessed event.
Not waiting for Peeke, Elizabeth stripped down to half dress and flopped on her bed. Staring at the canopy, she finally felt the tension release from her body. She had found herself near tears at Jane's departure and the daunting prospect of being alone with the residents of Rosings Park for a full year. Thinking again about what awaited her at the end—Longbourn—she fought back her misery.
Just as her eyes started drooping, she heard her door open. Struggling to move in her fatigue, she saw Mr. Darcy in the doorway. Not now! I'm too tired, she thought. Garnering every ounce of strength she possessed, she pulled her arms to lift herself up and properly greet him. Before she could lift her head, he smiled down at her.
"Madam, please stay where you are."
Elizabeth sighed in gratitude, letting her eyes loll closed again. A moment later, she felt the bed move as Mr. Darcy climbed in. Next, she felt him remove her robe, then her soft stays, and chemise. Lud, she thought, How can he have the energy for this after such a day? She wondered if she could just sleep through his attentions as he pulled her under the bedclothes and curled his naked body behind hers.
"Sir, what would you like me to do?" she asked groggily. No matter how tired she may be, she still had an obligation to fulfill.
"Sleep. Just sleep. I have rarely been so exhausted." Her neck felt the soft rhythmic breathing of his sleep and she soon followed.
~~~oo0oo~~~
When Darcy awoke, the sun lay low in the sky. A nude Elizabeth, still wrapped in his arms, also started to stir. As much as he loved everything about waking up this way, he was now married to Anne. From this point on, even though he was obeying his wife's command, he would be an adulterer. Frowning, he started to pull away from her to consider his new status.
"Don't."
Darcy and Elizabeth heard the voice that jerked them both into full consciousness. They turned to the source, sitting comfortably in a chair on Elizabeth's side of the bed and watching them. Elizabeth, shocked and embarrassed, slid down until the covers reached her neck. Darcy, not so modest, sat up looking at his cousin incredulously.
"Why are you here, Anne?"
"Waiting for you two to wake up. It took you long enough. I have been waiting for three hours."
Darcy shook his head in disbelief. "Three hours! Why?"
"Because now things are different, and I do not need either of you acting oddly."
"Anne, dear, waking up to find someone watching you sleep is odd," Elizabeth pointed out.
Ignoring Elizabeth, Anne asked, "Have you coupled yet?" Neither could believe they were being asked this question while lying unclothed in Elizabeth's bed.
"I was too tired to move when you sent me to rest in Elizabeth's room." Darcy yawned, then added sharply, "You have been watching us since we woke, so you should know the answer."
"Exactly. I need to make sure there is no confusion due to your moralizing." Pointing at Elizabeth, Anne's voice had a hard edge. "She is my proxy. My assignee. She is your wife now. I want little to do with you, and I most certainly never want to do that with you," she spat flippantly waving toward the two naked figures in the bed. Anne went on to clarify that her part in the marriage was on paper only: Elizabeth had stood with him at the church and Elizabeth had made the vows before God. Elizabeth would be lying with him every time desire struck either of them. Elizabeth would be bearing the heir. Anne expected neither of them to feel guilt over this. They were in no way flouting the law or the church.
Suddenly perceiving a bit more of Anne's character, Elizabeth's brows knit as she asked, "Anne, did you really swoon in the church or was that an affectation?"
Anne smiled, quite satisfied with herself. "I learned how to do that as a young girl to distract Mother. It always works. You said the vows in front of Collins, I did not. You received the ring—I made sure it would fit you!" she exclaimed with pride at her deception. "I know you cannot wear the ring yet, but you are now Darcy's wife in the eyes of God."
"I do not think it works that way …" Elizabeth began.
"It does, I checked. I wrote our cousin who is a bishop in London to ask." She had written a note to the cousin, although her question may not have accurately described the situation she had crafted.
"As you command, I vow to feel no guilt. However, I do feel you have no business being in Elizabeth's room uninvited," Darcy complained.
"Ahh, but I do have business. I have a gift for you!" Looking at Elizabeth, she asked, "You said he came upon you transcribing it once but indicated he did not read it. He has not yet seen it, has he?"
All color left Elizabeth's face. "Anne, that letter is private!"
Darcy was confused as Anne moved toward Elizabeth's desk, asking, "But you also gave a copy to Jane for her wedding gift? You think she will not share it with Mr. Bingley?"
"She may, but that is her privilege."
"This is the same," Anne decided. She picked up some papers from Elizabeth's desk, looking them over before she smiled and moved back to her seat beside the bed. "Paper Husband, this is my gift to you. My Dear Proxy, this is my gift to you. You shall no longer have to 'prepare' yourself before Darcy comes to your room. Besides, he may not keep regular hours anymore, you may have no warning."
"Oh, no …" Elizabeth slid completely under the covers in embarrassment.
Darcy's head spun. He rarely felt confused, but he could not make heads or tails of what the women were talking about. A letter? Why would a letter be a wedding gift? And why was the usually dauntless Elizabeth hiding under the covers? What was this 'preparation' before he came to her of which Anne was speaking?
"I do not have the privilege of understanding you," he said, donning his mask of hauteur.
Excitedly, Anne waved the letter in front of Darcy. "It is a copy of the letter from Charlotte's aunt. It tells all about things women can do to make sure they enjoy copulation, and after that, there are things they can get the man to do that make the woman enjoy it even more. She has many suggestions for you to learn from."
Incredulous, Darcy looked at Anne and the waiving letter. With his mouth hanging open in surprise, he felt Elizabeth who was now crawling under the bedclothes to the bottom of his side of the bed in an attempt to escape. Snapping out of his stupor, he wrapped his legs around Elizabeth's waist to arrest her progress, then started pulling her back to the head of the bed. With a mischievous grin, Darcy asked Anne to give him the letter.
Anne complied, but warned him, "You need to do everything in there."
Assuring her he would follow it "to the letter," Anne finally removed herself from the room, confident in her mission's success.
"Get up here," Darcy murmured amusedly, reaching down to pull her back to the pillows. Adorable in her embarrassment, Darcy wrapped her in his lap, his legs across hers, trapping her so she could not leave. "I believe we have a—gift—to read," he quietly laughed in her ear. She groaned and again tried to slide down. He captured her before she could get far, wrapping his free arm under hers and around her chest. Pulling her back up, Darcy could not help responding to her bare buttocks moving around in his lap and that a hand now rested on the curve of her breast. As he absentmindedly started tracing the circle of her areola, Darcy held the letter out of her reach and began to read it out loud.
Darcy had never considered himself a prude. He may have chosen not to partake regularly of the brothels, orgies, or other licentious pursuits of many of his peers, but he certainly knew about them. (3) When he had been younger and in need of relief, he read the well-tagged pages of books his friends shared amongst themselves: The School of Venus, the Diary of Samuel Pepys, Aristotle's Masterpiece, and the numerous travelogues, philosophies—even a botany book—with sexual content hidden in them. He had heard men of his club brag of their escapades, particularly while in their cups. (4)
None of it prepared him for this—gift. Those had all been salacious and geared toward the pleasure of men. This was written by a woman as a manual for pleasing women, including women pleasing themselves. It was a sex manual written in a non-sexual way. It was definitely not written for men's amusement, though most would likely find it arousing.
The letter started out consoling Mrs. Collins on her upcoming marriage, letting her know she was not the first or last woman forced to marry a fool for financial security and suggested ways of maintaining her dignity with an undignified husband. It gave warnings for the first time, suggesting women would be better off learning to thoroughly please themselves before engaging with a man. It gave detailed instructions on how to do it, including a drawing showing the precise location of the peak pleasure spots for most women, and a list of the results to be expected once it finishes. The most important in the case of a newly married woman, for the reduction of pain for the first time, or anytime, would be the moisture created in the passage to ease his entry. However, the method also served as a way a lady could treat herself for hysteria rather than visiting a physician.
Darcy stopped reading the letter to her, and looked down quizzically at Elizabeth, who still looked like she wanted to die. "Do you do this?"
"Sir, Anne should not have given you that letter. It is a private letter."
"Very private from the looks of it."
Now her embarrassment started to combine with frustration. She was trapped, unable to leave his lap, and he would not stop that distracting finger from playing with her nipple. "Charlotte shared it with Jane because she knows any information my mother may give Jane on her wedding night will…not be helpful. When Anne joined me on a visit, Charlotte, believing you to be marrying Anne in the true sense, told her of the letter for the same reason."
"You were not marrying. Why was it shared with you? Would it not offend your maidenly sensibilities?" he asked with a cocky grin, for the first time curious as to the private conversations ladies must have unbeknownst to gentlemen.
"We have been the best of friends for many years. It's what we do. Would you not share similar intelligence with Colonel Fitzwilliam or Mr. Bingley?" she challenged, exasperated at his insistence on embarrassing her.
"Touché, madam." Remembering their first night, he accused playfully, "When I first came to you, you claimed to have no information on what was to happen. It would seem you told me an untruth."
"I believe I said I know very little of how it works, and I stand by my original statement," she pronounced in defiance.
He smiled. "But not so little as I thought. However," he reminded her with a whisper in her ear, "You still have not answered my question."
Fine, she thought, You wish to hear it, you shall. "Yes. Yes, I do. I did not know what you would be like, and my friend assured me it made her first night bearable."
He drew his brows drawn together, quietly asking, "Did I hurt you?" He was still bothered by lingering guilt that he had caused the bleeding, no matter what he had been told.
"No. It felt … different, but not painful"—looking back at him defiantly—"thanks to my friend's good advice."
Nuzzling his face into her neck, he mused, "what I would have given to be a bug on the wall during your talk." (5) Then he laughed softly to himself at the vision of himself as a bug with the quite noticeable human results that listening to such a conversation would have on him.
"Does it surprise you we speak of more than lace and balls?"
"Excites would be more accurate." Then pausing a moment, he wondered, "Do you do this still?"
"I do not see how that is any concern of yours." Really, how far does he intend to mortify me? She thought.
Finally removing that distracting finger from her nipple, it traced its way down her stomach, circling her belly button a few times, before going down into her folds, which did nothing to help her current situation. It most certainly was not dry. She could feel his smile on her neck. "We are here to produce an heir. Everything involving this is my concern." He now gently commanded her to answer, "Do you still do it?"
She twisted around to stare him in the eye, "Yes. Every night before you arrived. Except for last night because you"—she pointed a finger at his chest—"arrived early."
This news did interesting things to Darcy. On the one hand, it caused him even greater arousal, but realizing he alone may not have been the reason she was always so ready, felt emasculating.
Arousal beat out emasculation.
Putting the letter safely aside, then removing her from his embrace and helping her to the pillows, he placed himself over her. Slowly blinking while licking his lips, he opened his eyes with a ravenous look Elizabeth had never seen before. His breath grew ragged as his mouth grazed her ear, "Show me," he commanded.
"Excuse me, sir?"
"Show me. Do it now."
"I can not do it with you here."
"Why not? What if I help," he offered, beginning to stroke her breast. Moving his fingers down her arm to her hand, he lifted her fingers to his mouth. Moistening them as Aunt Margaret suggested, he moved her hand back to where he wanted it. Elizabeth groaned. He would not accept anything less than a physical demonstration. A few months ago, I was disconcerted at his asking me to dance at Netherfield. Now he asks me this!
"Are you sure?"
His expression looked like a child in a confectioner's shop, driven by sweet lust. "Yes."
Looking incredulously at him, Elizabeth decided if he were to discomfit her by making her do this, she would do her best to discomfit him during the process. She knew the entire letter. She had practiced many parts. He had not even finished the first paragraph.
Closing her eyes, she ran her hands slowly down her body over her nipples causing them to become erect. As she went farther down, Darcy removed the covers, so she was fully exposed. He moved down to watch her motions. Resting his head on the inside of her thigh as he watched, his arousal was such that he had to fight to keep his hand off himself. Stopping for a moment, Elizabeth reminded him he had offered to help. Anxious to find something for his hands to do, he asked in what way she needed help. She placed his fingers on her nipples.
"Play," she commanded him. He could also use his tongue to explore her, if he was so driven. He was. The novel experience of having his touch combined with her own caused an exceptionally powerful and lasting sensation for her.
Watching her response, he could hold back no longer. Mounting her, he released shortly after but not without causing her a repeat of her earlier sensation.
Moving to his resting position, he pulled her tight against him, and murmured tiredly in her ear, "Madam, I offer my grateful services to you anytime you feel the urge to do that. Please desist from excluding me in the future." As he drifted off into his slumber, he mumbled, "If I had been that bug on the wall, I would have stung you."
~~~oo0oo~~~
(1) If it doesn't come across, it's a bit of sarcasm on my part. I've seen a few brides have to deal with hysterical and feuding family members along with navigating other wedding disasters. Weddings can be stressful.
(2) If you want more information, much of mine on Regency weddings is from Vanessa Riley's Christian Regency Blog entry for July 2, 2012, "How to have a Regency Wedding Ceremony". One of the rules was marriages needed to happen between eight a.m. and noon unless done using a special license, which isn't happening here. They weren't big affairs at the time, in part, from what I read in a different article, due to how difficult it was to travel at the time. I'm putting the earl and his family there as witnesses to make sure it happens without any complications then they leave as soon as they can get away from Lady Catherine.
(3) It was well known the things the licentious did, it doesn't seem like they did much to hide it. On YouTube, look up The Scandalous Adventures of Lord Byron. It's a bio of Lord Byron narrated by Rupert Everett—who better to discuss Lord Byron. It will give an overview of his life. There's also tons of information on his excessive lifestyle if you Google it. He was the prototype for the current rock star. As Lady Caroline Lamb called him: "mad, bad, and dangerous to know." (There's no evidence she called him that, but she's credited with it.)
(4) I'm older than the PC, and I have a brother. Back before easy-access internet porn, I remember him and his teen friends passing around porn mags and some books with tagged pages. In my research, I found there was porn disguised as travelogues and all the others mentioned.
(5) I know, "bug on a wall" is from the 1920s, but if I hadn't used it then I couldn't have given you the imagery of Darcy seeing himself as a bug with a boner wanting to sting Elizabeth, which I found humorous.