Chapter 24: Mrs Wilson's Visit
Late June 1812
Rosings Park
Once the matrons left, Rosings Park once again settled into a comfortable routine.
As Anne had predicted, the gossip paper had reported on intelligence gleaned from Mrs. Bennet and Lady Lucas, all of which gave the favorable image Anne wished to be known: that Miss Elizabeth Bennet improved the sickly heiress' health, that the two were dear friends, and that everything at Rosings Park in Kent was bliss. The heiress's husband not being mentioned was only noticed by a select few.
Darcy now fell into his morning routine: leaving Anne's wing, dressing, breakfast, then some exercise before settling into the correspondence or other necessities to keep his estates and interests prospering. He occasionally joined the ladies for tea, but always attended dinner. The party would have some after dinner amusements before retiring for the evening.
Elizabeth's days were much the same. She began by accompanying Anne for a short walk. When Anne could no longer continue, Elizabeth would go on while Anne rested on a bench with a maid to assist her. The rest of the morning would be spent engaged in some form of accomplishment or other, broken by tea, until dinner. Occasionally, Mr. Darcy would appear in Elizabeth's bedroom during the day, most frequently before she changed for dinner, but he kept most of their interactions between retiring and rising.
The fatigue and dyspepsia from her illness had not yet left her, although she did her best to keep the others from being concerning. She was sick most mornings, but she now learned how to keep from being ill by lying perfectly still until the worst passed. Mr. Darcy remained concerned when he noticed symptoms, but she hid them well so he did not often see them.
One evening toward the end of June, Mr. Darcy sat by the window with Elizabeth next to him. The moon was almost full, so they were granted a beautiful view of the gardens at night and enough light to read by before retiring. Mr. Darcy pointed out a few deer that had come into the garden. "Lady Catherine will be severely displeased when she sees her flowers have become their meal," Mr. Darcy laughed. Elizabeth chuckled along with him thinking of the impending outrage.
The two readied for bed, each helping the other undress. Since her birthday, Mr. Darcy requested she either wear the lace gown or the stays he had gifted her, at least for a brief time, taking pleasure in exploring ways to remove them.
Tonight Mr. Darcy helped her into the stays he so enjoyed. After he had finished lacing her up, he moved her into the moonlight before reaching to stroke her bare shoulders, and then moved his hands down her back, pulling himself to her. As she ran her hands up his stomach and around to his back, she looked up as he bent down to begin their osculation. His hand stroked the lace on her belly before moving up to her breast, where she greatly anticipated the sensations his touches would bring.
Suddenly she gasped and pulled away.
"What? What is it?" Mr. Darcy asked with his brow furrowed.
"It hurts," she told him as she began to feel her breast for herself, again gasping in pain.
"Both sides?"
She nodded.
"Why do they hurt?" he wondered.
"They are just very tender, very sore."
"Have they been injured?"—he paused as his frown grew—"Was I too aggressive last night?"
She smiled at his taking responsibility, shaking her head. His attentions last night had been most pleasing—among the most pleasing he had ever been able to offer. She had no inclination for them to end and told him so.
He sighed, then returned her smile. "Good," he said with a raised brow moving to hold her. "I find them very comforting to play with," he joked. "Besides, I believe since we have begun our activities they have started to respond. Growing to meet my demand."
She laughed. "I believe you may be right." Looking down at them, she once again touched them. A firm, constant pressure was not so bad, but they still were painful.
Mr. Darcy moved to her back. "Let me get you out of these. We will go straight to bed."
Once in bed, Mr. Darcy offered to forgo his attentions for the evening, but Elizabeth in no way wished for that. While she did not mind getting out of the stays, she so no reason to give up their nighttime activities just because of some aches and pains.
Taking the initiative, she climbed atop him, showing him where his hands would be useful rather than painful, as she helped them both complete their most pleasurable duties for the night.
~~~oo0oo~~~
The next morning, she managed to send Mr. Darcy on his way before she was required to expel her stomach.
When Peeke arrived to help her clean up and prepare for the day, Elizabeth begged her not to tell Anne or the others that she was still ill at times. There was no reason to concern them, as she felt perfectly fine after her stomach was emptied.
"But ma'am, you are still tired in the day?" Peeke inquired.
"Yes, but it is not something for them to be concerned over. I feel perfectly normal most of the day, so I am certain I am not having a relapse."
Peeke looked at her skeptically. "Ma'am, you are trying to become with child. What do you know of the signs of it?"
The only thing Elizabeth really knew was that the woman's courses stopped. Her mother, Lady Lucas, and the other Meryton matrons would speak of newly married ladies they assumed to be with child because of a certain look. They shone, is what the ladies would say, but Elizabeth had never been able to see the difference. Of other signs, beyond those two, she knew nothing and admitted such to Peeke.
"It can be difficult to tell pregnancy from illness, but feeling this way in the mornings is one thing that often happens," Peeke gently shared with her.
"But I had my courses when my mother was here."
Peeke knew from years of experience that the wealthy enjoyed being right. She had not risen to such a trusted level in the Rosings household by challenging Lady Catherine or Miss de Bourgh. This lady would learn on her own soon enough. "Yes, ma'am. That is what it usually means."
Though not willing to risk the reward she was receiving for helping the scheme to save Rosings, Peeke liked this young lady. She was kind and treated the servants well. Although she was from a wealthy family (by Peeke's standards), her family was far below the wealth of the de Bourghs or Darcys. Miss Bennet was being required to carry the child for Miss Anne's scheme and thus held Peeke's sympathy. Remembering her own pregnancies, there were so many changes and so many questions. Thankfully, Peeke had her mother and aunts to guide her the first time, something poor Miss Bennet would not have.
None of the higher-ups in the house had any knowledge of pregnancy or childbirth. There was Lady Catherine, but Peeke remembered her pregnancy with little Anne. That woman was too stingy to give nutrition to the baby and too selfish to remember anything beyond her own inconveniences. Peeke, along with Miss Christine, took the sickly little baby and nurtured it to give it as much life as they could. Peeke herself had fed the girl, praying with each feeding to give the babe some of her own strength.
Deciding to offer a bit of advice in a way that would not contradict those employing her, Peeke hinted to Miss Bennet, "I think since this has been going on so long, you will likely not be feeling better for some time. I'll bring some fennel tea and a few biscuits when I attend you in the mornings, they oftentimes help, but sometimes, nothing but time helps this type of illness."
Elizabeth thanked her for her kindness, which encouraged Peeke to probe a bit more to find any comforts she could offer. "Do your breasts hurt? Maybe feeling bruised or as if they are on fire? Maybe they feel feverish?"
Surprised Peeke could describe her symptoms from the night before, Elizabeth nodded. Peeke would get a strip of cloth to bind her chest later today. Some women found the pressure helped.
As Peeke left the room, Elizabeth sat confused. She recognized Peeke, who had children of her own, would know more about pregnancy than any of the others she spent time with would, but Peeke had not confirmed that her illness was likely caused by it.
Elizabeth would have to wait until the next visit by Mr. Pryce, this time to be accompanied by Mrs. Wilson. The next scheduled visit would be the end of July. Surely, she would know by then? If her courses remained absent until their visit, she would be on her way to finally fulfill her obligation.
This meant the death of her Bedroom Mr. Darcy. He would have no more reason to attend her once she was with child.
She could only hope he would now choose to leave Rosings. It would be too difficult to see the detached doppelgänger of the gentleman she now dearly loved while sitting at dinner or occasionally while walking the halls. (*)
If she were with child, if these were the symptoms, she would keep them to herself until the doctor confirmed them. She would get one more month with the lovely gentleman before he left her forever.
~~~oo0oo~~~
July 1812
Rosings Park
On an estate as isolated as Rosings Park, the days began to bleed into one another. June moved into July with nary a nod. The weather was exceptionally wet and cool, frustrating Elizabeth as she had fewer opportunities to spend time outdoors. If Charlotte were at Hunsford, she would at least have a reason to dress for the weather and visit her friend, but Charlotte remained at Lucas Lodge.
Letters had become a lifeline. She and Jane exchanged as many as two letters a week at times, with her beloved elder sister keeping her entertained by all of the happenings in Town. Her mother and sisters would send a missive every fortnight whether they had anything to say or not. Her father would write a sentence or two at the bottom of her mother's letters. His lines ensured her of his love and his appreciation of her own letters. Mary would insert her copies of the Longbourn ledgers into her mother's letters.
She and Georgiana had exchanged a few letters, in hopes of increasing their friendship in the near future.
She and Charlotte exchanged letters once every week or two as well, with Charlotte keeping her updated on her impending motherhood. When Charlotte's Aunt Margaret again slyly smuggled a letter to help her niece with this newest phase of her life, Charlotte duly copied the letter and sent it to Elizabeth to copy for Jane and Mrs. Darcy when the blessed event should occur.
Elizabeth devoured this newest letter from Aunt Margaret. Charlotte wrote that the advice given in this latest Birthing Letter contradicted much of the advice provided by her physician, but concurred with those of the Meryton midwife. As Elizabeth read through it, she became more certain she was now with child. She was experiencing many of the symptoms, both good and bad.
Elizabeth decided not to share this latest letter with Anne.
The night after her sore breast event, Mr. Darcy had been surprised to find her breast contained by one of his cravats. He looked quizzically at her chest first, then changed his attitude to one of wolfish amusement as his gaze rose to meet her eyes. "I find myself conflicted. I prefer to have access to them, but if I cannot, I find I do not mind my apparel encasing them." The gentleman could be quite absurd at times, but Elizabeth loved his silliness.
Thankfully, Mr. Darcy and Peeke had kept her sore breasts to themselves. It, combined with her occasional illness and fatigue, would certainly inform Anne and Lady Catherine of her condition. Once they knew, Mr. Darcy would know, but she was not yet ready to sleep alone. This being an unusually wet and chilly summer, it was made more tolerable by having nighttime exertions when daytime walks were unavailable, as well as having a warm body to lie with during the chilly nights.
Elizabeth was not the only one sustained by letters. Anne and Mr. Darcy kept prolific correspondences as well.
Anne had always alleviated her lonely life by keeping up an active writing campaign with many of the people who had passed through her life, as well as with her family. Elizabeth was surprised to find Anne exchanged letters with former servants from Rosings Park, the sister of Dr. Bloome, among others she had met through the years. She thus maintained many nodes in her large net of contributors that kept her knowing the inner workings of the major households of London.
The journalist she tipped off to the Meryton matrons in the coffee shop was the daughter of a former maid. Anne laughed when Elizabeth asked how much information she gave the woman. "Very little. If I share much, none of the others will write so freely to me. She writes me of the things she will be writing for the paper because she knows I am so isolated. It helps her improve her copy to send me her first draft."
Most of the letters Mr. Darcy required were to maintain his estate interests, but some served to keep him well informed on the inside gossip necessary to maintain the relationships needed for when he did return to society. He could easily spend five or six hours of each day in tending to his posts.
One such day, in mid-July, both Mr. Darcy and Anne individually received two letters that caused both some consternation. Lady Catherine received her own version of both letters the next day. The Fitzwilliams were required to be in London for an event on the first of August. In the first letter, Georgiana begged her brother, her cousin, and her aunt to allow her to spend the time at Rosings Park rather than in the empty London of the summer. It had the added advantage of coinciding with Mr. Darcy's birthday, allowing her to personally give her brother a special gift she had obtained for him. In the second letter, Lady Eleanor expressed concern for Georgiana spending time at Rosings Park with the activities going on but informed them Georgiana had been quite despondent at being separated from her brother, sister, and friend. The girl now considered Miss Bennet to be a dear friend since her stay in London, and was looking forward to time spent together.
After tea, the four principals at Rosings met in the study to decide if Georgiana should be allowed to visit, and, if so, how the visit should be managed. There was much discussion about Mr. Darcy's concern that his younger sister would learn of their duplicity. He could not bear to cause her to question the morality she had been taught. (1) Anne and Lady Catherine were more concerned with her not maintaining the necessary confidence, thus ruining their efforts. But in the debate for the other side of the argument, they all saw the benefit of Georgiana spending time at Rosings, rather than alone in London while the Fitzwilliam family was otherwise occupied.
Elizabeth listened. As she was in no way connected to Georgiana, she was surprised to be included in the discussion. She understood Mr. Darcy wanted his sister with him to ensure she was protected from those who would target her wealth and innocence, though neither his aunt nor his cousin knew of the Wickham incident. She also knew Georgiana's reason for wanting to be close to her brother, to be a maternal influence for his child.
Suddenly, Georgiana's wish to be an involved aunt connected to her growing suspicions that she carried the child. Startled and confused, Elizabeth needed privacy to sort out her feelings but her leaving would call attention. Thus she remained completely silent and still, hoping to remain unnoticed in her turbulence.
Fortunately, the other three were deep in their discussion and took no notice of Elizabeth or her disquiet. They eventually decided to allow Georgiana two weeks at Rosings Park while the Fitzwilliams were busy in London. After the Fitzwilliams finished their business, Georgiana would return to their protection and to the necessary preparations for her impending season.
~~~oo0oo~~~
That evening when Mr. Darcy entered Elizabeth's room, she could see he was concerned. His brows knit and lips drawn, he threw off his jacket and cravat before sitting down to remove his shoes. It had been another gloomy day, which did not help. The sliver of moon was unable to offer any light.
Once freed from the most constricting of his clothing, he sighed and leaned back in his chair, relaxing a bit as Elizabeth came behind him to rub his neck. He had done it for her before, showing her the techniques the doctor had taught to help him relieve his father's pains. As her hands went to work on his neck and shoulders, she could feel his muscles relax.
"What concerns you?" Elizabeth asked him.
"I fear Georgiana's visit. I have asked my aunt and uncle to have her arrive on twenty-eighth of July. Anne says we need to change nothing, it will be like it was when she was here before, but before she was only here a couple of days and there were many others to distract her. I was staying downstairs. How can I hide this"—he waved his hand around the room—"from her? Anne says I should stay downstairs again, but that means I have to go back to waiting for eleven until I can return to our room, or later since Georgiana is a Town girl. What if she is still up when I return? What if she comes in during the night while I am here? She must not know the deception I am a part of. How could she respect me were she to find out?"
Conflicted by Mr. Darcy throwing so many disconcerting ideas out at once, Elizabeth took Charlotte's favorite approach. "Let us reason first on how you are to hide this from her. Will Anne again have her in this wing?"
"Yes. Georgiana will feel rejected if we do not include her here."
"Then, as a country lady, I retire at eleven o'clock. Georgiana will not importune me. You should retire too, and awaken from your room downstairs, as Anne said. Beyond that, remain as you are. We see one another so little outside of this room it should not interfere," Elizabeth reasoned.
"But she wishes to increase her friendship with you. She will expect to be in company with us all," Mr. Darcy pointed out.
"Anne and I will be in company with her much of each morning while you manage your estates. She will be overjoyed to have your undivided attention during dinner and in the evenings. She may not even notice how little we see of one another."
Elizabeth wanted to address his question of his sister's respect. If he wondered how his sister could esteem him for participating, what must he think of her own participation? Maybe she was wrong to give him so much of her heart, but it was too late now. It matters not, she thought. He will soon be leaving, but now I know he will leave thinking poorly of me. From behind him, he could not see the silent tear nor did she want him to.
~~~oo0oo~~~
Monday, 27 July 1812
Rosings Park
Mr. Pryce and Mrs. Wilson stopped by to examine their patients on Monday so as not to interfere with Georgiana's arrival the following day. Upon Lady Catherine's request, Mr. Pryce first gave Miss Bennet a quick overview. She had missed her courses for July, so he felt they had reason to hope, but advised caution until more definitive proof showed. Elizabeth gave thanks that she had hidden most of her signs well. Fortunately, most had stopped plaguing her over the past week. Her breasts were now unbound, although noticeably larger
While Mr. Pryce examined Anne, Mrs. Wilson came to see Elizabeth. As Mr. Darcy was resolving a tenant dispute and Lady Catherine was in with Mr. Pryce and Anne, it was only Elizabeth and Peeke meeting with Mrs. Wilson in Elizabeth's rooms.
"When were your last courses?" the midwife started.
"When my mother was here, the start of June," Elizabeth answered.
Mrs. Wilson gave her a queer look. "Are you suffering from dyspepsia? Have you been ill, particularly in the mornings?"
"Not any longer, but I was until last week."
"Breasts tender?"
"They were."
"Larger?"
Embarrassed by the highly personal question, she colored slightly at answering. "Yes."
"More sensitive to smells or tastes?"
"Not that I can tell." Maybe she was not pregnant if this was a sign.
"What about to touch? Particularly personal touches."
Again embarrassed, she answered quietly. "Yes."
"You say you were ill before. When was that and for how long?"
"The twenty-third of May, when I returned from Hertfordshire. I had a fever for a couple of days."
"And you said you had your courses in June?" Mrs. Wilson looked at her curiously.
"Yes."
"Were they normal?"
Bewildered, Elizabeth looked toward Peeke for help. "I do not remember. With my mother here, I did not pay attention."
Peeke took the confusion as a request to give information. "No, it was but a day and not at all like the earlier one she had."
Mrs. Wilson nodded. "Strip down to your chemise and lie down," she instructed. Once Elizabeth acquiesced, Mrs. Wilson started pressing on her lower belly through the muslin of her undergown. It was so unusual a sensation that Elizabeth found it difficult to remain still. She was grateful when Mrs. Wilson offered her hand to assist Elizabeth in sitting up.
"Your womb is growing. Either you have a serious illness or, more likely, you are with child. Some ladies consider them the same,"—she quipped offhandedly—"but thankfully, this child is wanted." Mrs. Wilson said the last with some relief before continuing with her instructions. "Now, for you. There is nothing particular you need to do other than care for yourself. Many women, particularly those of the working classes, have no choice but to work until delivery. I find those ladies who do remain active until close to delivery do better, it seems to make them stronger to help push the baby out.
"I have no way to know how you feel about the father's attentions. If you do not enjoy them, you may now lock your door. If you do enjoy them, I recommend continuing. I know my grandmother warned me when I was young that I should never have relations with a man before marriage because once you start you have no wish to stop. (2) Those women I've treated who remain in union tend to have easier births. One of my ladies said it kept her passage from shrinking. Remember, you need to eat, but not too much. It's just a tiny baby you are trying to feed, not Wellington's army. (3)
"There is much that can happen during a pregnancy that causes danger to both the infant and mother. If you have any more bleeding, send for me. If you feel swollen in your face and arms, send for me. If you have pains in your stomach, send for me. Once the baby begins to move, if you fail to feel it move for more than a day, send for me.
"Ah, baby moves," Mrs. Wilson remembered. "You should feel the quickening in another month or two. Mr. Pryce is being cautious about saying you have taken because Lady Catherine has, in the past, been seriously displeased with him and he does not wish to repeat the experience. There is no question in my mind that you have, but he has less experience in this area and you know how some men can be. It infuriates them to be wrong with they know they are right, and there is no need to argue with him on this. (4) Based on what you and Peeke have said, you likely took in late May or early June. That puts you at having the child around the end of February. Pryce is going to say March, but you'll have a baby somewhere in that time.
"Now, you have special circumstances, hiding your pregnancy like this. Let me assure you, you are not the first and you will not be the last. I recommend you start loosening your clothing now. Have people become accustomed to seeing you in less fitted attire. As this is your first child and you are fit, I think it likely you won't show until quite late—maybe as late as the end of December depending on how far along you are. I have no doubt that Lady Catherine will be the first to notice and inform you when you must go into confinement. You will not be confined to the bed, so take exercise in the wing. Within the next few months, we must set up one of the rooms for birthing, it can be a messy event. I have a chair we will have delivered."
She took a deep breath, slightly nodding her head as if ticking off items in her mind. "I believe that is all I have to tell you. Do you have any questions for me?"
At this point, Elizabeth was flabbergasted. So much information given so quickly! There was no longer any question, she was with child. The deed was done. This was another moment from which there was no turning back.
Bedroom Mr. Darcy would now leave, likely when his sister left, but Elizabeth would do her best to not think on that now.
"When will you tell them?" Elizabeth asked. It was a stupid question. "Mr. Darcy's sister is arriving later tomorrow and I would not wish for this news to disturb her visit," she added quickly.
Mrs. Wilson nodded. "I must let Pryce know when we return. I will leave it to him to tell, but we both are honor bound to Miss Anne. She has helped us both many times in our lives, and neither of us will betray her. Likely he will tell her in a few days." She paused a few minutes. "Anything else?"
Elizabeth gave a laugh devoid of any humor, with tears gathering in her eyes. "There is nothing I can think of. You have already given me so much information! When do you return?"
"In a month." Mrs. Wilson gently put her hand on the lady's shoulder. "One more thing. You will find your sensibilities quite disconcerted during the pregnancy and for some weeks after. It comes with the changes your body will undergo. Expect it to happen and do your best to moderate them for the sake of your child and yourself."
Elizabeth agreed as Peeke led Mrs. Wilson to the front of the house to wait for Mr. Pryce.
Elizabeth sat in a chair by a window, contemplating. There was no doubt that Mr. Darcy's child was growing in her. This is what she had agreed to do. This is what she was honor bound to do in return for Longbourn. As tears streamed down her cheeks, she only wanted to run. Run out of the house, run through the woods, run all the way back to her home and to safety.
But she could not. She could not run anywhere. Georgiana would be arriving soon, she could not be gone from the house when the guest arrived. She could not run home and home was no longer safe until she handed the baby over to Mr. Darcy. If she fled home, she would be no different than a horse running into a burning barn.
~~~oo0oo~~~
Tuesday, 28 July 1812
She had kept her new information to herself last night.
When Mr. Darcy entered her room, he asked what was troubling her, but she prevaricated. Instead of sharing the information that would cause him to leave her, she instead initiated activities that would cause him to join with her.
That morning at breakfast, a messenger came from one of the tenant farms. There had been a fire, the house was damaged, and they needed a place to stay until repairs could be made. Much to his exasperation, Mr. Darcy was forced to leave the manse and attend to the tenant's well-being. "I will do everything I can to return before Georgiana arrives," he bowed to the ladies as he left.
Georgiana would not be expected before teatime, so the ladies moved to the parlor where Elizabeth practiced pieces she had not previously attempted to play. The challenge employed her mind, keeping her from thinking of her new condition as they awaited.
All three ladies startled when the footman delivered his announcement at noon: the carriage had been seen and was expected in a quarter of an hour. Anne and Elizabeth traded looks. Both were not only surprised by the early arrival but also nervous at the prospect of keeping Georgiana innocent of their subterfuge. Elizabeth, however, now carried another secret.
The ladies moved to the entry hall to greet Georgiana. Through the glazed windows, they could see the carriage coming up the drive.
"What does Georgiana mean, not bringing the Darcy carriage?" Lady Catherine huffed.
Elizabeth looked closer but found it was still quite difficult to make out the details of the carriage as it pulled to the front of the house. She did notice the luggage rack was surprisingly empty for a young lady of Miss Darcy's means.
From their position in the entry, they were unable to see the young lady as she exited the carriage, but they did hear the footman opening the door and lowering the stairs. Mr. Darcy will be disappointed to miss his sister's arrival, Elizabeth thought.
At that moment the footman entered, announcing the arrival of their guest as the ladies smiled at one another, now in eager anticipation of seeing their friend.
"Lady Catherine. Mrs. Darcy. Miss Bennet. A Mr. Thomas Bennet has arrived."
~~~oo0oo~~~
(*) I was trying to find a good word that would have been around in 1812, but the ones really didn't convey what I wanted them to. Doppelgänger didn't come into use in English until the 1850s, but it's so perfect here. Please forgive me.
(1) Hypocrite? Yes. I realize he is being a hypocrite. But let's face it; none of us wants to ever admit we are being the Wickham or Caroline Bingley in our own P&P, even when we are. (Usually, I've heard it as being the Jafar in your own Aladdin, but since we are working with a different story, I thought I would adapt.)
(2) This story came from one of my betas. IRL she knew of a grandmother who said that to her granddaughter.
(3) Don't believe any of this advice. I'm making it up as I go along or throwing things in that I've heard along my journey of life that people believe or sound like something people would believe. I want Mrs. Wilson to be kind of like Charlotte but less care for propriety. Her job is the deliver babies while keeping both mother and baby alive. She deals with sexual relations and private parts all day long. She left her prudery and nonsense behind years before this. ie: she's modeled after a nurse friend who works L&D, only without access to modern medical information/tools.
(4) Moliere: "It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I'm right."