Jack groaned; his head was swimming. His eyes were trying to crack open. Where was he? A white light hit him. His eyes burned. Something was down his throat, he choked and gagged. He tried to grab it. For some reason his left arm was responding.

"Whoa, whoa easy! DOCTOR!"

Jack heard someone yelling. He grabbed at whatever was trying to choke him. Something was wrong. Where was he? What was happening.

…..

Agent Fowler called out the door for a doctor. Jack was waking up and he was struggling to remove his breathing tube. He reached over gently taking Jacks arm and holding it back from ripping the tube out.

…..

June was walking back into the hospital. She felt much better having spoken to Optimus and the others and having gotten to sleep in her own bed and eat home cooked food. She was making her way back to the Jack when she heard Fowler yelling for a doctor. She picked up her pace, coming into the room to see a doctor injecting Jack with something.

"What happened?"

The doctor looked up at her. "it's a light sedative. Just enough that will keep him calm while we remove the tube."

June smiled. "Remove…"

She looked at Jack. His eyes were flickering. She came over to him to take his hand. She felt the tears coming back as a team of doctors and nurses came in. She stepped back with Agent Fowler as they readjusted Jack.

….

Jack felt something prick him, the darkness was taking over again. He heard a voice. A voice he recognized? Mom? Maybe? He couldn't talk. He felt himself slipping back into sleep. He couldn't fight it.

…

The doctor turned to June. "He'll wake up again in another 15 minutes. I don't need to explain to you the medical aspects."

June nodded. She knew all to well how this whole thing went. Jack wouldn't be able to talk for a while. He would be out of sorts for a good period of time. She walked back over to Jack taking his hand.

She prayed and prayed hard. She patted Jacks hair. She was relieved to not hear the whoosh of the ventilator anymore. It meant Jack was healing, he was coming back to her. She reached into her pocket.

"Optimus."

She looked at Agent Fowler.

"Jack is off the ventilator. He's waking up."

She smiled tears of joy and relief flooding down her face.

"I will keep you informed. He won't be himself for a good bit yet. He wont be able to talk either for a while."

….

"That is understandably. Thank you, June."

The base waited till Optimus hung up the com link to let out their whoops and cheers. Optimus smiled. The tension was gone. Life was slowly getting back to normal. He and Arcee had spoken of the incident. Arcee had been unsure of how to react to Optimus's cold shoulder and Optimus had apologized for that bringing a wave of relief throughout the base.

Ratchet came over to him. "While this is good news June is right in Jack has a long road ahead of him."

Optimus nodded, Arcee had quickly zipped out of the base while the others were excitedly chatting.

"And we will be there for him."

…

Jack began to wake up again. His head rolled slightly with his groans. June was sitting next to him holding his hand. Jack fluttered his eyes. He heard someone speaking to him, but it was muffled. He tried to speak but nothing came out.

"Shhh Jack. You won't be able to talk for a while."

Jack finally got his eyes to open. His right eye felt heavier then his left for some reason. He tried to move his left arm, but it wouldn't move. He looked over at the blurry woman sitting next to him. He tried to focus his eyesight. His mom? He slowly turned his head over to look at his left arm. His eyes shot open and his heart rate began to accelerate. His left arm was missing!

"Jack honey, you need to calm down."

He heard her voice but couldn't stop. Where was his arm? Why was it missing? He felt his breathing speeding up. He was becoming aware of pain in his body. Where was he? He looked around the room frantically. Why couldn't he talk?

"Jack calm down!"

June squeezed his hand. Jack's heart monitor was beeping furiously. His blood pressure was rising. He was frantically moving his head and eyes. June cringed. The monitor had reached the alert level. Nurses came flooding into the room. She stepped back. She knew procedure.

Jacks body would go into shock if they didn't calm him. They injected him was a small dosage of sedative again. She folded her lips. She had to stay strong for Jack. Especially now that he was awake. She walked up to his side.

"it's just enough to calm him. Not knock him back out."

The nurse smiled reassuringly. June nodded her thank you taking her place back next to Jack.

Jack felt something yet again prick him. He tried to fight it. He heart rate was slowing, his breathing coming back down. He didn't feel so freaked out now. His eyes were clearing, and his mother's image was clearer. It calmed him. He was okay she was here. He was okay.

…..

A few weeks later Jack was able to sit up and talk, though it was slow and unsteady. He was staring out the window. A distant look on his face when June walked back in with a drink for him. She stopped. He had been silent. He hadn't said much, and of what he did say it wasn't descriptive. He was distant and aloof. She tried not to take offense to it. Jack had been through something that most people would never, ever have to endure.

The doctors describe it close to what a soldier who had been involved in a roadside bomb might experience. June sat the drink down next to him.

"Jack sweetie?"

She tried to get his attention daily. She tried to engaged him with news of the Autobots, school, and other things that usually interested him. Even telling Jack that Arcee was waiting for him outside his window.

Jack would just look at her, a look of both fear and depression on his face.

Jack knew his mom was just trying to help but right now he didn't want to hear anything. He couldn't sleep every time his eyes closed; he saw them. Every time he moved, he felt the pain, and when he looked to his left…. He had made it a point to not look that way. He had survived but to what end? He was damaged now. His speech was slow, stuttery. His left arm was gone from the shoulder down. He had scars running all over his body. His right arm was in a cast, and his right eye was blurry. Still healing. That's all he heard. Still healing.

He was done with healing, done with pain. Hadn't he endured enough pain? Every time his mom brought up the Autobots he just wanted to scream. He had saved their lives, saved humanity and no one would ever know. Sure, the Autobots might know, but to what end. What would it gain him? He twitched his legs, after five months in a hospital bed he had a hard time walking. He wanted out of here. He wanted this to end and for life to get back to a semblance of normality. If that was possible.

"Jack?"

Jack slowly looked over at his mother. She was worried. He felt bad for her but couldn't bring himself to smile. Or feel any joy for that matter.

"Y…Y…Ye…Yes?"

He stammered. Out of breath by the time he was done. He sighed. Maybe it would have been better had they just killed him.

"I have good news. The doctors are going to release you by Friday. I know a few people who will be excited to see you."

She smiled. Jack remained stoic. The Autobots. He just nodded.

"Ok..Ok..K.." He stammered again. He returned to gazing out the window. His casted arm reaching over for his non-existent left arm.

June sighed sadly. She looked out the window. Arcee was sitting out there. She twitched her tire when she saw June appear. June looked over at Jack. She had been advised that he should be getting up and moving around when he could. He needed to regain his strength.

"Come on Jack."

June walked over to him. She put her arms under his and helped him to stand. Jack sucked in air, gasping. His body was still sore from the injuries. June helped him over to the window. Jack looked out the window. What was the point of this? He looked out. Arcee was below. Jack just stared at her. Arcee's tire twitched.

June reached for her phone.

"Arcee, can you see us?"

June placed the phone on speaker.

"Yes! Jack! Its good to see you up!"

Jack just sighed at her exuberance. He guessed it was easy to be happy when your body hadn't been torn apart and your mind broken. He turned his head away from her.

"Jack?"

June looked sadly down at Arcee.

"He is still having trouble speaking. But he says Hi."

Jack shot his mother a glare. He didn't say anything. He didn't care to say anything.

…

Arcee looked up at Jack. It pained her to see him this way. She had never seen him look so depressed. His missing arm unnerved her. His broken and battered body flashing back into her mind.

"I would assume so. Well I'm here for you Jack. We all are and are looking forward to you coming back to the base."

Jack just rolled his eyes. His shoulder slouched. He was putting more weight on his mom then his own legs. He turned his body in a gesture to return to his bed. June clicked the phone.

"We'll talk to you later Arcee."

She helped Jack back to the bed. "Jack, why don't you try to get some sleep?"

Jack just sighed again looking away from her. How could she look at him? He could only imagine how he looked to someone else when he thought he looked utterly horrific in a mirror. What girl would fall in love with a freak like him?

He clenched his right fist. Airachnid. StarScream. They had better be dead. If they weren't… Jack didn't know. What could he do? Why hadn't those two been killed sooner? He had seen the Autobots give those two mercy to many times and now look, look what it had gotten them…gotten him.