How I Failed To Avoid The Plot

by LightDusk16

Ever have those days where you feel that the universe is out to kill you? Well that's my whole life in a nutshell for the past few months. I've been transported to another world, been beaten with an inch of my life on multiple occasions, and somehow managed to get involved in the plot of this world even through I wanted nothing to do with it. Screw you universe!

4. Episode 4: A Painful Reunion

I'M ALIVE!

Hey guys, LightDust16 here with a new chapter for you all, sorry for it being so late but I'll go into exactly why at the end of the chapter.

With that said on with the chapter!

Episode 4: A Painful Reunion

}Chapter Start{

Remember when I said that it wouldn't be a week till Little Red and her team found me on the streets? Well in the time it took for them to show up, I went through hell!

I'm not kidding or exaggerating either, that week was hellish from beginning to end. It was as if the universe wanted to gain some overtime hours so it made my life even more difficult than it already was.

I mean it was bad enough that I was out of a job till Old Man Fuller came back to handle the repairs to the shop, but I also was stuck wearing the same dirty clothes the entire time. You think your clothes smell terrible after wearing them for a couple days straight?

Ha!

I wished my clothes only smelled that bad. My clothes smelled so bad that I could see the stink coming off them! I don't even understand how that's even possible, but apparently it is as I've seen it! Wherever I went people ran screaming in the other direction just to get away from the smell!

I was bloody banned from a homeless shelter once cause, and I quote, 'Sorry sir, but we only accept the homeless, not the dead.'

I mean how freaking dumb is that?! So what if I smelled so bad that I could be mistaken as a corpse, that doesn't give them the right to deny a homeless man shelter!

I swear I'm half tempted to go back to that stupid shelter now an-!

*deep breath, exhale*

Ahem…sorry about that, got a little carried away. Now where was I?

…

Oh right! I was talking about how hellish that week was.

Well, besides the smell problem, I also had a little trouble getting food. You see I used to just use the bulk of my lien I got from my job to buy some food, which I would either eat right away or store in a mini-fridge in the Ye Olden Dust Shop.

But as mentioned before, the shop was blown to hell by a stupid grunt whose name was actually Grunt who didn't like being elbowed in the ribs and had some matches. So all the food I did have went with it, and the last of my lien was used to renew my library card.

…

…

What? Knowledge has and will always be more important than food. At least when you're trapped in another world that you only know future events and nothing else and are trying to blend in.

So yeah, it looked like it would be impossible to get food that whole week. To be honest I thought I was gonna die from starvation, but luckily for me the universe decided it didn't want it's punching bag getting killed just yet.

What I mean is that I met the most annoying little brat in all of Remnant!

…

…

…

Okay now I know that doesn't make any sense, but trust me when I say it isn't as bad as it sounds.

You see it was around midnight on Sunday, three days after the shop blew to hell, and I was walking around the red-light district trying not to pass out from hunger.

Now the reason I was in the red-light district in the first place was because I heard some rumors that a food supply Bullhead was hijacked by some White Fang members, but before they could get far they got shot down above the red-light district. The White Fang that survived the crash and were arrested while the crash site was made into a crime scene.

The best part of all that was the food would still be there since the police would be too busy taking care of the White Fang grunts to care about any of the food. So, me being the starving man that I was, decided to risk it and nab some food while I could.

In hindsight I should have been wondering why the White Fang would try and steal a food Bullhead in the first place or why some company decided to transfer their food via a Bullhead at all, but my stomach was in more control than my brain at the time. So it's really not completely my fault that when I got to the supposed location where the food was and all I found was an empty lot, that I may or may not have thrown a fit.

"OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!? WHERE THE HECK IS ALL THE FOOD! THIS IS SOOOO NOT FAIR! WHY MUST YOU TREAT ME SO CRUELLY AS TO DENY ME THE FLOOR FOOD FOR ME TOO LIVE! WHYYYYY!

…

Okay maybe it was more of me whining like a toddler than anything else, but can you blame me?

I'd been starving for three days straight and hearing about this crashed food Bullhead raised my hopes to finally eat something to an all-time high.

I also risked my neck going to an area where the White Fang got arrested and might come back to clean up any loose ends. So I think I had the right to complain about it to all those in the area.

Sadly for me the downside of having a mental breakdown caused via starvation and extreme annoyance is that people will no doubt hear you. Now if you're lucky, whoever hears you will try and find you so they can help. They'd offer you their help, feed you, and help you regain any lost strength.

When you finally regain your strength, you'll thank them and be on your way

But since this is reality and not a fantasy, the person who found me wasn't so nice as to lend me a hand. Oh no, they put a gun to my back and tried to mug me.

…

Yeah it appears that I have a bad habit of being held at gun point. Trust me when I say this little instance wasn't the last time a gun was shoved into the back of my head.

Anyway, back to me getting mugged.

I had stopped ranting over the fact that the food I oh-so wished to have didn't exist when I felt the barrel of a gun on my the back of my head. I almost stopped breathing in fright when I heard the gun's hammer click.

I planned in that moment to not do anything stupid and to just do whatever the mugger demanded from me to survive. Hopefully if I followed every word without question they'd let me live.

Sadly, that plan went out the window when the mugger spoke.

"Jeeze man, you have got to be the loudest hobo this side of the Vale. I could hear ya a mile away."

At that point I assumed from the tone of the mugger's voice they were female, and young one at that, probably a pre-teen judging from her tone.

None of that information made it past my subconscious though, as I had been too busy fuming over being called a hobo again.

"I'M NOT A HOBO DAMMIT!"

I felt the disbelief coming from the mugger as she said,

"You sure stinky? You look *sniff* urk…and smell like a hobo to me."

That only aggravated me even more as I ranted,

"I'm not a hobo! I just so happen to live in a box and have no money to my name is all! And you can blame the smell on that stupid Grunt who blew up my clothes!"

I'm positive the mugger just gave me a deadpanned stare as she said,

"I'm pretty sure that's the definition of a hobo dude. Anyway, I could care less about your living situation or why you smell like a dead guy who's on fire. Just hand over what little lien you got and you'll live to beg another day."

By then I finally managed to get my annoyance under control enough to just grumble angrily as I started to search my pockets for any lein I had.

"Not only is there no food here, but now I'm getting mugged! Stupid universe, when will you let me catch a break!?"

The mugger snickered at my annoyed grumblings before she said,

"Man I can't believe you fell for that scam!"

My eyes widened in shock at this declaration.

"Whoa whoa what!? What do you mean this was a scam!?"

The mugger just laughed again before she said,

"This whole food Bullhead crashing was all a trick by those White Fang guys. They lure homeless saps here to recruit them if they're Faunus or kill them if they're human. You know, the usual White Fang business."

Now that got my attention. Not only was this some trick by the White Fang to get starving Faunus into their ranks, but also to kill starving humans too!

Now I know at that point I should have been counting my blessings at not being killed immediately, or I should have been questioning just how dumb I was for falling for such an obvious trap (I mean come on, a food Bullhead!? I should have known those didn't exist).

I should have been wondering why no White Fang had sprung out the minute I stepped into this trap, or just why this mugger knew so much. I should have wondered why she sounded a little too…young to be a mugger. And more importantly, I should have realized that I still had my Steam dust pellets in my pocket and could use them to get away.

I should have realized all of this...but I was too annoyed and hungry to really notice. Annoyed cause this mugger kept insisting that I was a hobo, which I clearly wasn't, and annoyed at how my hopes for eating were dashed to cinders due to this all being some big White Fang trap. The hunger was pretty general since I hadn't eaten in three days and we humans tend to do really stupid things after starving for so long

So instead of doing the more logical thing of using the Steam dust pellets or just letting the mugger take what little lein I had and hold onto the hope that they'd let me live, I instead did something only a very starved and annoyed man would do.

I turned around and tackled the would-be mugger.

She let out a startled yelp as I tackled her and we hit the ground hard. We then struggled with the gun, but she had a pretty weak grip and it went flying.

I think it hit a trashcan or something like that cause there was a loud *clang* sound that echoed around the area. Thinking back on it I never did find out just where that gun landed, but considering how the rest of this played out I should have dived for it when I had to chance.

Speaking of how this played out, the mugger and I struggled on the ground for a good few seconds. Eventually I had managed to pin her down and get a good look at just who tried to mug me.

And boy was I shocked by what I saw.

The person who had tried to rob me was a Fanus for one thing. At the time I was more shocked that it was a Fanus in the first place since she'd just told me this was a White Fang trap.

I mean just cause she was a Fanus doesn't mean she was a-part of the White Fang, but considering that this was all a supposed trap set by the White Fang it was very suspicious.

There was no way it wasn't a coincidence either. But my starved mind and annoyed self couldn't really put all that together at the time. All I saw was fox ears and my brain kinda turned off for a good couple seconds.

It would have saved me a major headache if I had made the connection then rather than later, but I'll get to that eventually.

Anyway, back to the 'finding out my mugger was a Faunus' debacle. Like I said before my brain kinda shut down from shock at seeing the fox ears, which gave my mugger enough time to kick me off her. That snapped me back into reality as I smashed into some trashcan's nearby. I got a little dazed from that but I shook it off as I saw my mugger get up.

I started to get up as well to make a run for it, but I was a little too slow as the mugger got up first and charged at me.

Thinking fast I managed to barely dodge her and she ended up slamming into the same trashcans I had. I took my chance to book it and I was almost out of there…but then I got nailed in the head by some sort of hard object.

Said object was heavy enough to send me tumbling to the ground into even more freaking trashcans. Thanks to that blow, my head was killing me, and I was covered in more garbage juice. I think she hit the same spot Grunt did before, but I was too focused on getting out of there to care at the moment.

I tried to get back up and run but it was too late as the mugger managed to find her gun and aimed it at me. I had heard the click of her gun and froze in fear.

The girl, who despite having a weak grip was surprisingly strong for her age (I blame Faunus heritage to this day), flipped me over and aimed the gun at my head.

"Alright buddy, I was gonna be nice and just rough you up a little after I got your lein. But now since I'm covered in garbage I'm not. Now give me a good reason why I shouldn't make you into an actual corpse besides just smelling like one?"

Now I had no clue if she was bluffing or not, but I knew that a person desperate enough to mug wouldn't mind leaving a corpse behind. I mean have we learned nothing from Batman's childhood!?

Besides, even if she was a little kid, that didn't me she wouldn't pull the trigger. Not only was she born in a world where kids were raised to use weapons and kill monsters, but she was also a Faunus.

That's not me being racist or anything, I honestly think it would be cool to be part animal. I mean come on, natural night vision, how cool is that!?

What I mean is that she could have been a part of the White Fang or raised by anti-human parents or something. So with all that in mind I kept a calm and even tone and explained the very important reason why I should live.

"I'M GREAT AT MULTI-TASKING AND I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT I'M REALLY SMART! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I HAVE A WIFE AND CHILD!"

…

Okay so it wasn't even remotely calm, or even close to being a good reason to live. It did cross my mind to tell the mugger that I could see into the future or something like that, considering I know what would happen. But even in my panic I knew saying that would just sound crazy and get her to pull the trigger faster. So yeah, the excuse I gave seemed to be the best option I had.

It also somehow managed to work as she gave me a questioning look before asking,

"That's your reason? That you're a good multi-tasker and that you have a decent education?"

I just nodded my head thinking it was better to shut up and listen than talk and get shot.

She sighed at that, and I have a feeling she would have done so no matter what answer I gave.

"Look buddy I'll throw ya a bone. I won't kill you and you can even keep your lein…under one condition of course."

Her offer managed to snap me out of it. I was still scared out of my mind since she still had her gun pointed at me, but I managed to calm down enough to ask,

"What kind of offer?"

I wanted to also ask her why she suddenly went from 'kill the idiot' to 'make you an offer you can't refuse' but I also wanted to keep living so I decided to throw that question to the back of my mind.

She gave me this smug look before she said,

"Well you see, I'm in need of a lackey who can go into places I can't. As you probably noticed I'm not old enough to enter any of the more 'dangerous' shops around here. Dust stores, weapon shops, you know the usual places kids can't go into. So you will go in my place to buy all kinds of dangerous goodies."

"Why would you need an adult? You look like a teenager and I'm pretty sure you can just pass off as a student from Signal Academy or one of the other schools that train teenagers to kill monsters," I pointed out.

The mugger in turn gave me a deadpanned look before replying,

"Clearly you're new in Vale if you honestly believe it's that easy to impersonate a student from Signal. The Hunter schools hand out special ID cards to their students. The stores ask to see them so they know they're giving dangerous merchandise to actual students. I don't go to school, so I got no ID card, which means the stores won't sell to me. Get the picture?"

In hindsight, I should have realized that too, but then again having a gun pointed in your face tends to make people not think straight. For example, after her little explanation I said this,

"Okay, since I really don't have any choice in the matter I'll be your lackey. But on one condition."

Of course, the mugger with the gun just gave me a deadpanned stare again.

"Uh buddy, you do know that I'm the one with the gun here right? You don't get to have a condition. If anything, the only condition you have is your life."

She had a very valid point. I had no room to make demands or anything, you know since she had a gun and I didn't. But I was still slightly delirious from the whole starvation thing so I wasn't exactly thinking in the most logical sense at the time.

Anyway, when she said that I gulped in fear and said,

"I know I know! But hear me out! You need an adult to buy you stuff right? Well as much as I would love to do that I wouldn't be able to get within five feet of any store before getting ushered away."

She gave me a confused glare and asked,

"And why is that?"

Gulping again, I explained,

"Well you said so yourself remember? I smell like a walking corpse. There's no way I'd be let into a store of paying customers smelling like that. Plus with my dirty clothes they'd just think I was trying to rob them."

Her face took on a look of surprise to this logic.

"I…guess that would be a problem."

"Exactly! That's why you have to get me enough lien to buy a trip to the showers…and for new clothes and food as well please?"

The mugger gained a thoughtful look and her face before sighing.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice…but…"

Her thoughtful face turned into one of malice as she grabbed my shirt and pulled me up from the ground towards her face before she said angrily,

"If I find out that you spent more lien on things I didn't ask you to pay for, then they won't be able to find your body when I'm done with you. Understood?"

Since I had a drive to live I nodded my head rapidly in order to not enact the scary teenage Fanus's wrath.

And yes I know it's not very manly that I had been forced to work for a teenager considering I was older then her, but I was weak from starvation so I doubt anyone else would have done any better.

Anyway I'm getting off topic. The little menace dropped me and put her gun away. She then proceeded to throw a small pouch on me and started to leave. As she left she told me to buy her some supplies from a local dust shop and to drop them off there in that alley way in the morning.

The pouch she had given me was enough for the supplies and for what I needed; a shower, some clothes and of course food.

I picked myself up and looked back and forth from the pouch to the girl's fading figure and thought only one thing…

Just what have I gotten myself into?

For the next couple of days leading up to my reunion with Ruby I was turned into that mugger's lackey just like she said. I was also told to call her 'Foxy' which to this day I think is a fake name. She made me go to multiple dust and weapon shops and buy small things. Things like ammo, powdered dust, and throwing knives to name a few.

I would then have to drop them off at the same alley we 'met' in. She'd show up, insult me, and leave.

Now you all may think that isn't too bad since she gave me money to buy clothes and food…well you'd be wrong. You see that sly fox only gave me enough lien the first time around since that was my one condition to become her lackey. After that she decided I had enough.

Basically, the only time I ate and got a decent shower was the day I became a teenager's lackey. So all in all you can understand why I said that week was hell for me. Plus I couldn't afford to buy new clothes since I wanted to eat more, so I was still stuck wearing the same smelly and by then even more tattered clothes. I mean I got my shower, but still wearing smelly clothes doesn't help you know? Luckily the universe decided to go on break three days later…well I guess break depends on how you define the universe throwing me a bone dipped in poison.

…

…

…

What's with the look? I told you how my week was hell so why the lo-oh! I never told you all how I got kicked in the balls, slapped, and almost stabbed didn't I? Sorry about that I guess I was too caught up in the events leading up to that. I was gonna end this part of the tale here, silly me.

Anyway, the day that all went down was the day I ran into Ruby, as well as the day when my plan to avoid the plot got even more shredded.

}Line Break{

It started out as a normal day, at least normal for a man stuck buying dangerous materials for an underage street-rat and said man is from a reality where this world is a web-series…

So yeah, I had just dropped off the latest batch of goods for 'Foxy' and I was on my way back to my box. I would have gone to the library to grab more books about Remnant or the history of Vale, but I was too hungry to bother going to look up stuff.

That sucked since Vale as a real interesting past, apparently it's been the hotspot for world-changing events for the past few centuries. A bunch of wars were started and ended here, heck there have even been peace treaties and assassinations happen in this very city!

Considering what happens in Volume III I'm not that surprised, but I also can't help but feel like that crazy Salem chose Vale as the starting point just so she could continue the tradition of Vale being the center-piece of world changing events.

That or that bitch just really wanted to screw Ozpin over since he had the Fall Maidan in his school's basement, but I wouldn't be surprised if she would have still had everything happen in Vale regardless if Cinder got all the Fall Maidan's powers or not.

Anyway I'm getting off topic again.

Like I said I would have gone to the library, but I was too hungry and didn't have the urge. I only had one decent meal that week, give me a break.

I swear I thought my stomach was gonna shrivel up and turn into dust if I didn't get food into it soon, but since my 'boss' decided she liked seeing me starve…yeah…

I was starting to feel less and less energy to do things every day. The only reason I still bought the stuff Foxy told me to get was because of the whole threat of death thing.

Again not the manliest thing to say since she was a tiny teenager, but I was malnourished and way too weak to survive her if she decided to 'fire' me. So I decided to try and keep her happy till I could get enough strength back to have a decent chance to run for my life.

So as much as I wanted to pull an Aladdin and sing about it all while stealing bread I didn't feel like getting shot at or arrested, nor did I feel like I had enough energy to pull it off.

Anyway, I was super weak and starving and I didn't wanna do anything and all that jazz, so I was heading back to my box when I heard someone yell out,

"EXCUSE ME! COMING THROUGH!"

The next thing I knew a red blur shot by me and around the corner and I fell on my butt from the force of the run. Grumbling in annoyance, I had half the mind to yell at the jerk who nearly blind sided me.

But before I could, I noticed a trail of rose petals leading around the corner where the red blur went. Confused, I picked up one of the flowers and examined it.

A rose petal? Why would there be a rose petal in the middle of-wait a minute…!

It was at that moment I realized that a very fast person had just ran by and left a trail of rose petals behind. We all know that there's only one person on this planet who can do that, so we should all know why I then turned around and walked in the opposite direction.

…

…

…

Okay so we don't all know. Let me explain, you see because I had already interacted with Ruby by becoming her Dust tutor, I had already changed the story. Torchwick decided to rob Ye Old Dust Shop instead of Dust Till Dawn because of me. It was a small change, but a change none the less.

So I figured if I avoided her and the rest of the major plot characters for the rest of my life I would be able to avoid causing any more changes, big or small.

I was wrong of course, because the universe just loves breaking it's punching bag after all.

Anyway, so when I realized that it was Ruby who rushed by me I decided to get out of there before she came back.

Okay…Ruby just ran by me and hopefully didn't notice me. Let's not jinx it through and leave before she comes ba-

"CHRIS! I FOUND YOU!"

Yeah you all should have seen that coming. Apparently she saw me when she ran by but was going too fast to stop, so she had to slow down run back. Sadly for me, I didn't move fast enough and she caught up.

"God dammit universe do you want to explode?" I muttered under my breath, "Cause you keep making me interact with major characters and causing the Butterfly Effect to happen so I can only assume that's what you want."

With that rant out of the way I plastered a smile on my face before turning to Ruby and saying,

"Hey Ruby, how ya be-*urk*!"

Now that is a sound a man makes when a tiny little girl tackles him to the ground. Apparently Ruby was so happy to see me she decided to introduce my back to the sidewalk.

As I groaned in slight pain Ruby remained oblivious to my plight as she did what she did best when excited, ramble.

"Chris where have you been?! I've been looking all over for you every time I got the chance to leave Beacon since I haven't gotten a chance to thank you for tutoring me and I'm so so so so sooooooo sorry about what happened to the shop it's all my fault I should have attacked them when you threw down that awesome smoke pellet thing. Oh what was that by the way cause I figured it was something dust related but my partner Weiss said that was impossible and-"

"RUBY!" I shouted to end her spiel.

The sad look she gave me was almost enough to make me regret it. It felt like I had kicked a puppy or something. I swear that kid is too adorable for her own good sometimes.

Anyway after I got her to stop talking I calmly sighed and said,

"Look Ruby I would love to answer all your questions and catch up, but could you please get off me? People are starting to stare and laying down on concrete isn't exactly the most comfortable experience."

After I said that Ruby gave me a blank stare, likely trying to process what I just said. It took a few seconds but eventually she looked around to see all the people staring at us. This quickly caused poor Ruby to jump off me beat red while spewing out apologies like a machine gun. I grumbled slightly getting up while dusting myself off as I thought,

God dang-it why does she have to be so adorable!? It makes it so much more harder to be annoyed at her than it should and just makes me want to apologize to her over and over again!

With that thought I opened my mouth to cease her rapid-fire apologies when the voice of Barbara Dunkelman yelled out in her usual fiery tone that we all know,

"GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER YOU HOBO CREEP!"

Eye twitching, I managed to keep calm as I turned to face everybody's favorite pun-obsessed blonde.

When I first saw Yang, I will admit I was shocked. I mean she looked so…well real is the best term that I could put it. Her hair was much more life-like and she didn't look as cartoony as she did in the show. And I may or may not have stared at her chest area a bit longer than I should have, but in my defense...

…

…

…

Shu-Shut up I am not a pervert okay! Look just give me a day or two and I'll give a good excus-reason! I'll give a good reason hehehe…

Ahem, anyway as much as I wanted to go nerdy over seeing one of the most badass characters ever in front of me, I very much wanted to live. For you see if it wasn't obvious Yang was in pissed off red-eyes mode because she thought I did something to Ruby.

I still don't blame her. I mean when you see your younger sister blushing like mad while getting up from groping a dirty, and totally not a hobo guy, wouldn't you get pissed off too? I know I would, and I would probably kick that jackass in the balls before sending him off to a nearby dumpster. I would then proceed to lift the dumpster and spin it around and around till the sleaze-bag puked up what little food he had in him. I would then take him out and prepare to smash his face in with my fist only for my sister to save him last second and explain the misunderstanding.

…

Wait did I say me? I meant Yang, she did all of that too me and then some. The 'then some' being too graphic for the likes of which non-have ever seen or should see. To this day, I don't know how I survived that onslaught of torture, but let me tell you I am glad Ruby stopped her when she did. Otherwise I might not be writing this for you all.

But hey that's how I got kicked in the balls by the badass brawler blonde herself. I might have slightly blacked out too, but still, I survived.

Anyway after Ruby explained what happened Yang gave a half-hearted apology and I grumbled something that sounded like 'Wtefw rewfaw fewwa' but meant 'screw you ya blonde bimbo.'

With that said Ruby decided to take me and Yang to a nearby ice-cream shop to make up for the beat down. Yang was hesitant but I jumped on immediately since I needed food and I figured I was already this far down the rabbit hole that there's no way it could get worse.

I was wrong, naturally.

}Line Break{

We ate at some ice cream shop near the red-light district. I didn't get the name of it then since being kicked in the balls and beaten up tends to make one forget some details, but I would later find out (or remember depending on who you ask) that the place was called Sweet Sweet Ice Cream. The place wasn't too bad, kinda looked like a 70's diner on the inside.

How an ice cream shop on Remnat can look like an American 70's diner I have no clue, but it did give it a homey feeling for me. I always enjoyed going to places that were decorated like the past decades, made me feel like I was there ya know?

Anyway Ruby had a cookie dough cone (and yes it was as adorable as it sounds), Yang had some banana split and I had a chocolate milkshake because a milkshake will always beat ice cream any-day!

We had been talking for a while and by 'we' I mean Ruby and Yang since I was still recovering from the assault on my manhood and entire body. After introducing me to Yang (even though I knew more about her then she did, it was still awkward being introduce to someone you technically know) they talked for a while about some random Hunter stuff that I couldn't care less about, but eventually I had to stop my sulkin-I mean focus on my recovery when Yang asked Ruby (in a poor attempt of whispering),

"So Ruby, who's this hobo guy anyway? I know I wanted you to make some friends but not some dirty slob off the street. I mean isn't Beacon a big enough place for you to look?"

Ruby gained an angry pout from this and was going to retort but I beat her too it with a grumble of,

"I'm not a hobo dammit…"

It may have come out at a slightly higher pitch than normal, but it still got the point across. Or at the very least Yang heard me since she started laughing.

"Bwahahaha! You're not a hobo!? Dude your clothes smell terrible and have holes all over the place. Not to mention you must have been starving considering you're on your fifth milkshake."

Having recovered decently enough, I grumbled in anger and gripped my milkshake like a life-line as I compla-retorted,

"I'm not a hobo! I just happen to be very hungry and my clothes are only this bad because I'm low on funds is all!"

Yang just gave me a doubtful look as Ruby said,

"But don't you live in a box since you went bankru-"

"RUBY!"

This little knowledge slip and my outburst just caused Yang to laugh again.

"Bwahahahaha! Oh you are clearly not a hobo Mr. Boxman! Hopefully you don't have to put your box on sale for not paying any bills, that would just be terrible!"

Groaning into my milkshake, I hoped for the mocking to end, but it looked like Yang had one more trick up her sleeve.

"Ah come on Mr. Boxman, don't tell me you're Card-Bored already?"

Now, let it be known what I did next would lead to many, many problems. I mean most of my bad luck can be contributed to this moment. For you see while Ruby just groaned at the pun, I laughed.

…

…

…

What? I like puns okay! Good or bad a pun is a pun and they are all funny!

Anyway, both Ruby and Yang's face became blank as I laughed. After a few moments of awkward silence Yang looked over to Ruby and said,

"Ruby, I changed my mind. You can be friends with the hobo. In fact I will allow you to be best-friends with him. Do not let this one get away, understand?!"

While Ruby just looked at her sister in a mix of confusion and I think understanding I had enough of being called a hobo as I slammed my milkshake down and said.

"God dammit I am not a bloody hobo! My name is Chris 'Joker' Sullivan and I a-was Ruby's dust tutor! Now will you please get off my back?!"

Yang looked at me in shock and it looked like she was about to say something, but before she could an ever-recognizable snobby voice yelled out,

"YOU'RE RUBY'S DUST TUTOR!?"

Oh god not another one! I internally groaned.

Apparently Yang had texted Blake and Weiss to meet up with her and Ruby at the ice cream shop and sadly for me they walked in to me yelling at their friend. They were right behind me, and I hadn't noticed due to my freak out. Ruby had a look of excitement on her face while Yang looked annoyed at being interrupted, so I plastered on a look of surprise. Turning around, I had to act like I didn't know the two as I replied,

"Uh…yes I am. At least I was for couple of weeks when she was at Signal. Who are you two?"

Blake just ignored me and sat down next to Yang while reading one of her books. Weiss on the other hand got an annoyed look as she asked,

"You don't know who I am? I find that highly doubtful."

Now I know I should have just said her name and how she was a Schnee and all that jazz. But I decided to have some fun. My thinking was that if the universe was gonna screw me over by having all of team RWBY show up and ruin my day then I might as well seem as unlikable as possible to make sure they didn't try and find me later.

With that plan in mind I said,

"Uh…you look like a spoiled princess with an inferiority complex who also has a stick so far up her ass that it would take the world's most powerful microscope just to find the beginning of it."

There was a snort from Yang and muffled laughter from Ruby. I think Blake might have smiled but it was hard to tell since she was reading her book. Weiss on the other hand was bright red in anger as she said with barely contained rage,

"Why I never! I am Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Company!"

I faked a look of realization as I borrowed a line from the show.

"Oh, you mean the same company infamous for its controversial labor forces and questionable business partners? Must be real proud of that background princess."

I heard Yang whisper 'ouch, burn' but most of my focus was on Weiss at the time. She was super red faced and looked like she was about to explode, but before she did she took a deep breath and said,

"I'll have you know tha-"

This is where I did something really stupid. I interrupted Weiss's tangent before it could begin.

"Flat chest says what?"

"What?" she responded immediately. I didn't think it would work, but Weiss proved me wrong.

This is where Yang began to laugh very loudly at the Ice Queen's mess up, and I'm pretty sure Blake chuckled too, but again, book in the way.

Of course, angering a Schnee usually ends with someone getting hurt, as evident when Weiss slapped me across the face before huffing and walking away. Sure it stung, but compared to the beat down I'd gotten from Yang earlier, it was a cake walk, so I just shrugged and went back to my shake.

Yeah go on Blanco, get you some ice cream for that burn, I thought vindictively.

Oh if you're all wondering why she was so mad at me in the first place, it's because of my Steam Dust pellets. She was all mad because she thought I made them up and was tricking Ruby by giving her false Dust information. But trust me when I say that I'd prove Weiss wrong soon, and it'd be one of my greatest accomplishments since being stuck on this world.

Anyway, back to me being slapped, or what I did after being slapped.

I went back to drinking my shake as Yang's laughter finally came to an end.

"Oh Chris buddy, I knew you must have had a pair on you."

"After earlier, I'm not so sure anymore," I snarked back.

This got her to chuckle again as she continued her thought,

"I'm sure they're still there. Heck, not only did you kick Vale's most wanted criminal in the balls, but now you call out the Ice Queen and make her mad enough to slap ya! Oh you must be a special kind of ballsy huh?"

I chuckled slightly at that.

"Oh I'm not, I just don't like rich snobs. They think they know better than everyone else cause they're rich, but they don't know nothing. I've lived on the streets longer than those jerks have lived in a single penthouse. Sometimes it takes a man on the streets to bring them down a peg so they can see how the poor life is."

Now this is technically a lie. I have a dislike for snobs sure, but that wasn't why I said all that stuff to Weiss. I really said all that just to piss off Weiss to get her and the others to leave. I figured if I insulted one of their own they get pissed off at me and leave. Sadly, I was thinking of near end of Volume II RWBY, they were a lot closer during that then when they first met so it didn't really have the effect I wanted.

But I still got to piss off Weiss in the end, so hey a win's a win.

}Line Break{

The rest of the day would go by with me, Yang, and Ruby chatting about what happened at Ye Olden Dust Shop while Blake and Weiss ignored us (one reading and the other still pissed off, guess who). Eventually it started getting late and the team was leaving.

I was happy for this for two reasons.

One, them leaving meant no more interacting with them. No more interacting with them meant no more chances of the Butterfly Effect happening and causing Vale to be breached early or something like that.

The second reason was that I had just finished my twentieth milkshake and I was starting to feel the effects of eating, well drinking in this case, too much after starving for so long. I didn't want to stick around any longer to be labeled 'Vomit Boy 2.0' so them leaving saved me from that.

Good thing I took advantage of their tab.

Anyway, back to them leaving. Yang had just left and Ruby was about to join her, but I noticed a conflicting look on her face. Against my better judgment to stay out of their problems and avoid the plot I got drawn in by the adorableness that is Ruby so I ended up asking,

"Hey Ruby, what's wrong?"

She jumped slightly at my question before she turned to me and said,

"Well…you know how Ye Olden Dust Shop blew up and you don't have a job anymore because of it?"

"Well yeah," I nodded slowly, "I mean until Old Man Fuller gets back in a few weeks to pay for damages and then a few more weeks waiting for the store to be rebuilt."

Ruby nodded her head at that before she said,

"And remember how it was sorta kinda my fault that you lost your place of work in the first place?"

"Ruby it wasn't your fault. You were stuck in a hostage situation and couldn't fight back unless you wanted to inadvertently cause a bigger dust explosion then what happened," I said with a roll of my eyes.

This didn't appear to convince her through as she continued,

"Well even so, I felt guilty so I decided to talk with the headmaster at my school to see if there were any job offerings for you. I figured you could be a teacher or something since you know so much about dust!"

While Ruby's face glowed in excitement, mine did the opposite as I thought about where Ruby was going with this. Working at Beacon was a sure-fire way to getting involved with the plot, as well as getting closer to Ozpin, the one man who could probably figure my entire situation out and use me as a pawn in his little chess game.

Of course, I couldn't exactly voice all this as Ruby's excited face kept me from saying anything as she continued,

"But he said you need some sort of 'teaching degree' or something. Which I don't get since you're a great tutor and you shouldn't need a degree to prove it. Anyway, he did say that there was a janitor position open and that he'd be glad to let you work at the school! All you have to do is show up for an interview before the end of the month!"

I looked at Ruby's bright eyes filled with hope and tried very hard to say no, but all that came out was,

"Gre…great! I'll check it out when I can. Thanks Ruby."

She proceeded to give me the most adorable smile ever and gave me enough lien (from the ever-thoughtful Ozpin) to board a Bullhead to Beacon before running off. After I was sure she was gone I let out a sigh and began to leave myself.

Don't get me wrong, I was grateful that Ruby would go so far to make sure I didn't have to live so poorly anymore. It was just that there was a major risk taking a job at the hotspot for all things plot related and I didn't know if it was a good idea or not.

On one hand, I could afford to eat, shower, and buy new clothes and not have to work for a mean fox girl anymore. On the other I ran into the chance of upsetting the timeline even more and causing drastic changes to the future of the and the characters at Beacon.

That's what was going through my mind as the 'almost stabbed' part of that week happened. It seemed the universe didn't like me trying to make my own decisions so it decided to chuck a dagger right next to my head on my way back to my box.

I of course ducked and screamed proudly like a man should as I felt the blade barely miss my skull. I looked around trying to see who threw it, and then that's when another knife almost hit my head…and another….and another.

So I ran for my life as a hail of knives started to embed themselves in the wall where my head would be. I of course kept a calm head throughout all of this…

"OH DEAR GOD SOMEONE HELP ME! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE MY HEAD IMPALED ONTO THE WALL! OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!"

Yep…completely calm.

Anyway this went on for awhile till it stopped suddenly, and by suddenly I mean it. One minute knives were being thrown at me the next nothing. That did not stop me from running away screaming all the way to my box, which I proceeded to hide in for the rest of the night.

I wouldn't find out till later that some White Fang jackass who was on patrol for incoming dust shipments near the red-light district had seen me during his patrol and decided that I'd make easy target practice after the team of Huntresses-In-Training were gone. The grunt got bored eventually and left me alone, apparently I was too much work.

That and the douchebag ran out of knives to fling at me and decided to cut his losses.

When I later encountered that grunt, let's just say I had my revenge, but that comes later. I eventually passed out, and when I woke up the next day I decided to make a very stupid decision…

It's just a janitor position, how bad can things turn out?

Like all my thoughts, I would later come to regret that.

The next day I boarded the next flight to Beacon, that is after getting into an argument with the Bullhead attendant. When purchasing the ticket I had to convince the jerk that I indeed had money and how it wasn't stolen, and how I was NOT a hobo. But anyway, I was away from the streets, my box, and the menacing Foxy, whom I hoped to never see again.

When the Bullhead landed at Beacon I will admit that I was awed. You think the school looks awesome on a screen, then you should have seen it up close and personal. It was so…majestic is the best word I can think of. I swear I thought I was seeing things with just how beautiful the whole place is.

Of course I had gotten so lost in thought that I ended up bumping into someone. The person didn't budge an inch yet I got forced a good couple steps back. I chuckled nervously and was about to say something when the person spoke,

"What is a hobo doing on campus?"

I froze in pure fear from the voice. Not because it sounded intimidating or threatening, through it did help in making me want to run and hide. It sounded strict, yet with some sort of hidden malice behind it at the same time. No, I froze in fear because I recognized the voice, and the person it belonged to. I slowly looked at the person who I ran into…

And I will admit I may have audibly gulped at the sight before me. For standing in front of me, staring with their amber eyes, was the most hated character in the fandom.

Cinder, God Damn, Falls.

…

…

…

Oh god I'm screwed! I mentally screamed.

Looking back at it now…I can't help but agree with that thought.

}Chapter End{

Well…looks like Chris is in a bit of a pickle huh? Looks like the Butterfly Effect has struck again! Mwhahahaha!

So your all probably wondering what took this chapter so long to write. Well you see after I recovered from my stomach flu I had to make up two-weeks of school work alongside new work I had to do. By the time I got that over I just wanted to relax, and relax I did.

After that I spend most of November juggling family problems and more school issues, then December rolled around with finales and I need to focus on that.

Not to mention I rewrote this chapter at least four times cause it never set right with me, still doesn't but it's way better than the original product.

Anyway it's out now for you all to enjoy. Expect the next chapter to be out hopefully sooner than this one.

Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and if any characters were OOC. Please tell me of any mistakes so I can fix them.

All logic used in this is from my head-canon. If you don't agree then that's okay, it's just how I see things.

A shout-out to all those who have followed and faved this story! We pasted 50 follows so all things are awesome! I am always opened to questions and ideas for chapters so please tell/ask me them!

Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day! This has been LightDusk16, signing off!