So so so so so so so sorry about how late this chap is. I should have put up a official hiatus instead of leaving you all in the dark. The AN at the end will go into more detail about why, as well as official date for when the hiatus will actually end. Anyway…
Time for the filler so far to be pushed aside, now let the plot get rolling!
Without further ado, let's get this chapter started!
}Episode 10: Conscription...Kidnapping...I've Heard It Both Ways{
So you ever wake up from being knocked unconscious before? Because the movies tend to over exaggerate the experience. I mean yeah your head hurts and you're kinda dizzy, but it's not so much agonizing pain as more of an annoying tic.
Of course I only found this out when I woke up, half laying on a table, with a mild headache.
I remember lifting my head from my arms, and opening my eyes only to shut them from the sudden brightness of the room I was in. I rubbed my head to try and ease the pain as I waited for my eyes to go back to normal.
Oh, where am I? And why does it smell like piss, vomit and shame? Ugh, I could use some Aspirin. Geeze, did she really have to hit me that hard? Then again this is the Blonde Brawler I'm talking about…
After that quick thought and once my headache subsided I eventually opened my eyes to get a look at where the hell I was.
I was in what could charitably be called a rundown bar. The place looked like it had more rats than customers the last few years, and the fact that the only other patron here was a passed out drunk snoring under my table didn't help liven up the place's rep.
There was rotten wood, blood and beer stains all over the place, and somehow the place smelled worse than me before my shower. Probably the only reason I didn't pass out from the stench was because I was used to smelling terrible things. My tolerance for smelly things would actually help me in the future believe or not, but at the time, all it helped me to do was not throw up in that place.
As I lifted myself off the table, I accidentally stepped on the drunk's stomach which caused him to grunt in his sleep.
"Sorry, Sorry!" I apologized before a thought came to me.
Wait a minute...Yang knocked me out, put me in a sack, and now I'm in a bar. Is that…?
I stuck my head down under the table to get a better look at the snoring drunkard.
Oh thank God, it's not Qrow, I thought with a sigh of relief.
That guy's always in a bar, so I wouldn't have put it past the universe to make him wind up in the one I woke up in, especially after being knocked out by his niece. The niece who was nowhere in sight I might add.
Rubbing my head I looked down at the table more properly, in front of me was a glass of murky water, and across from me was an open bottle of soda.
I'm not touching that, I thought looking at the glass of "water" And wait, did she knock me out just so she could dine and dash and leave me with the bill? Why would she do that? And in a place like this?
Deciding I wasn't going to get answers from the disgusting looking water, or the passed out drunk, I got up from the rickety table and made my way towards the empty bar. The bottles themselves looked grimy too. Heck, the ceiling had mold on it for crying out loud.
"How the hell does this place survive a health inspection?" I asked aloud in disgust.
"Bribing the health inspector usually works, isn't that obvious punk?" came a deep gruff voice out of nowhere.
Now I will admit to slightly jumping at the sudden voice, but I by no means screamed shrilly like a little girl.
"*whistle* Are you actually a guy? Cause what'chu just let out ain't very…manly."
I MADE NO SUCH SOUND DAMNIT!
Ahem. So when I turned to the source of the noise I found a gruff looking old man with a eye patch cleaning a beer mug like any typical bartender does. Now I should have been questioning why he had an eye patch, or why he had hair that looked longer than mine, or how I had completely overlooked a dude that looked like Hell's Angel, but instead I chose to focus on him cleaning the beer mug with a rag.
Seriously? Literally every bartender ever is always doing that. Do they teach that at bartending school? There must be some sort of hidden skill to it or something. I'd probably just break the mug somehow. Maybe I should get a job as a bartender to learn how to-
"Oi princess, you still with us or are you off in la la land again?"
The bartenders interruption of my thoughts managed to snap me out of my internal questioning of the mighty beer mug cleaning technique that all bartenders hold. I quickly shook my head and coughed before answering with a steady tone.
"Yeah, I'm here, was just thinking about something. And wait, what did you call me?" I asked.
Raising an eyebrow he pointed at my chest. Looking down, I realized I was in my "civilian" clothes.
"What the hell? What happened to my jumpsuit?!" I yelled as I looked back at the table, seeing no sign of it.
The bartender just shrugged indifferently.
"You got me Pinky. And I don't care how you make cash, but I'll tell you this, there ain't gonna be no funny business in my bathrooms. You take that shit outside, Got it?"
"What?!" I replied indignantly to his insinuations. "It's just a shirt man! I'm not a...I don't…EW!" I facepalmed and shook my head.
"I'm not one to judge," he shrugged again, "Just don't need the extra cleaning."
"I'm NOT a male prostitute. And Cleaning? What cleaning?! Is that a joke or something?" I huffed before changing the topic. "Anyway, where even am I?"
The bartender gave me a deadpanned stare as he responded with a monotone voice,
"You're in the Winking Skeever, home of decently cold beer and "anonymous meetings."
I almost faced palmed at his answer, but the look on his face was completely serious..
"Great…now I'm in discount-Skyrim," I mumbled.
I don't know why this place was named after a place in a game that was used as a cash cow for too long, nor did I care to find out.
"No, I mean that's nice and all, even if I wish that Bethesda would make the next installment already, but where the heck is this place at? What city am I even in?" I clarified
"You're in the red-light district of Vale pal, pretty knee deep into it too," he responded as his eye went back down to the mug he was cleaning.
"Well that explains the state of your bar…" I pondered. "Wait…is there a gas station a few blocks from here that has porn videos displayed out front?"
"Ayuh, that there is. Why, you a regular?" he asked.
"No no, just trying to get my bearings," I explained. And thanks to that shameless gas station, I did have a pretty good idea.
I haven't mentioned this yet, but during my first weeks in Remnant I spent a good amount of time exploring the red-light district. While a good amount of it was because I was mapping out escape routes and hideaways due to my paranoia and the eventual breach, I also still had a lot of excitement for being in Remnant in the first place and wanted to check it out. (That was back before reality kicked me in the balls)
So yeah, I had a decent understanding of where things were in the red-light thanks to those little trips.
And past that Gas Station full of porn, I did remember seeing a neon sign with a one eyed rat on it. I naturally never went inside since, you know, money and all that.
So I'm in the north part of town huh? At least I can make it back to the Bullhead port from here pretty fast. Probably should leave now before Yang…wait a second where the hell is she?
With my location now known, I realized I still didn't know where the pun-cracking blonde who brought me here was. Looking around, there was no hint of that golden hair.
"Hey buddy,"
"Ayuh?" he asked as he was suddenly right next to me.
"EEEEEEEE!" I cried out in shock.
"You might want to get that checked out, can't be healthy if you still claim to be a man of your age."
"Oh shove off creepy Watson," I grunted clutching my chest. "Now, let me ask you this. Did a girl bring me here? Blonde hair, has an ahoge, looks like she'll kick ass first and ask questions later?"
The bartender immediately nodded, though he never looked back up at me.
"Ayuh," he huffed grouchily. "She came in here, carrying your sorry ass, threw you on the table, ordered a soda and water and then headed to the can," he listed off.
"Wait, she just threw me on that table?" I asked and he grunted in affirmation.
"Rude one she is, the minute I laid eyes on her as she's walking by she threatens to punch my lights out."
Probably cause you were most likely staring at her boobs…that or Yang just doesn't like you at all…which makes sense since we are in the red-light district.
"Ya, sounds about right…Do you happen to know the time by chance? My Scroll was in my jumpsuit and…"
The barkeep grunted, looked at his wristwatch and declared,
"11:45. Lunch crowd should be coming soon."
"What?!" I yelped. "Shit!, Goodwitch is gonna dock my pay for this and I'm gonna miss lunch with Z!"
I then stood up from the bar, after balancing myself since my legs were still a little wobbly from being K.O.'d, and told him.
"Okay, do me a favor and tell the crazy blonde girl that I went back to work. And to expect a nasty surprise the next time she does laundry. A very, very nasty surprise."
With that said I began to make my way out, only to be cut off as a body went flying by me and through the wall leading to the street. Curious bystanders peered into the building via the hole, but soon lost interest, either cause of the bar's condition or because it was normal for people to go flying out of buildings in this district. Or both.
Before I had time to process what just happened I heard everyone's favorite brawler shout after the thrown man who was now limping away.
"NEXT TIME KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF BUDDY!"
I gulped in slight fear as I turned around to see Yang in her rage mode, but when she saw me she a flip got switched and she went back to normal.
"Oh hey Boxman, going somewhere?" she asked as she placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Um, actually-"
"Good, let's sit back down. Now that you're awake we can talk," she ignored me and led me back toward the table.
I considered making a run for it, or just telling Yang to leave me alone or calling the cops on her for kidnapping since it's illegal and all, but I didn't. None of those options led to me living a healthy, not to mention, long life, so I decided to resign to my fate as I took a seat, making sure my feet didn't hit the drunk man.
"Oh sweet, don't you just love when your drinks come right after you get out of the bathroom?" Yang smiled as she picked up the soda bottle and downed it in three big gulps.
"Uhhh, sure…" I trailed off as I pushed the disgusting looking water away from me. "What's going on Yang? What do you want?"
Yang just smiled conspiratorially at me before she called out,
"Barkeep!"
"Ayuh?" he answered from right next to me.
"EEEEEEEE!" I screamed in a VERY reasonable and manly pitch! "Why do you keep sneaking up on me?"
He didn't answer me, and while Yang smirked from my manly scream, she passed him a baggie full of lein. Judging from the bartender's eye popping out of his skull I guess it was a lot.
"Why don't you go clean out the back buddy? Me and my friend have some private matters to discuss."
Before I could even object to Yang's bribery or try and convince the bartender to stay in some vain attempt to avoid talking to Yang, the guy was gone in the blink of an eye.
"How does he do that?" I muttered as I just stared at where he was just standing. "And do I even want to know where you got enough money to bribe him?"
"Oh I have my sources Mr. Boxman. When I want privacy with someone, I have the means to get it," she smirked causing me to sweat a little.
"Ummm…" I pointed down at the snoring man at our feet.
Smirking, she bent her head down and shouted right into his ear.
"Oh No! That girl's top fell off! Don't look!"
The man didn't even flinch. He just kept snoring along, deep in slumber.
"See, totally alone. Now then how have you been? I haven't seen you in weeks! How's the family? Did you get that promotion you wanted? How'd that date go?"
I could already tell that this conversation wasn't going anywhere pleasant. Her tone was strained and her face was eerily cheery and she was asking all the questions pissed off people ask sarcastically in movies.
So being the brave man that I am, I tried to avoid my most likely painful future.
I threw my arms up to protect myself as I shouted,
"Oh God, I don't know what I did to piss you off but please don't hurt me again! I'm very fragile!"
…
…
…
Okay, I was more cowardly accepting my death then bravely trying to avoid it, but cut me some slack. A girl who could probably bench press an entire building kidnaps you and brings you the most lawless side of town, who gets rid of all witnesses and is being eerily cheery after kidnapping you? That just screams pain and death!
Also did I mention the kidnapping part? Because that happened and I had every right to be scared as hell!
To my surprise however, Yang did not beat me to an inch of my life. Instead she started laughing like a hyena. This only led me to my utter confusion.
Uhhhh... Should I be relieved or terrified that she's laughing? For all I know she has a sadistic side or something and is laughing at the image of my broken body! Stop laughing and confirm or deny my fears already Chesty Larue!
As if reading my mind Yang finally stopped laughing as she grabbed my shoulder and said,
"Oh Boxman, the look on your face was priceless! I should have brought a camera! Seriously I didn't even get to tell you my plan and you're already breaking!"
My confusion only skyrocketed at that.
"Wait…so you're not gonna beat me to a pulp?"
Yang wiped an imaginary tear from her eye and said,
"Well I hadn't planned on it," she chuckled. "I mean, I am a little pissed at how you've been acting for the last month, but that's a separate issue."
"Oh…" I said looking away guiltily. Is this about me avoiding you and your team for the past couple weeks?"
"Well it's not why we're here today, but that was a total dick move man. Dropping a bomb shell like that then running away from us? Ruby has been worried sick about you, and it's kinda getting repetitive telling your sister her friend is gonna be fine over and over again."
"Wait, hold up! Back it up a second there. Ruby thinks I'm her…friend?" I asked in confusion.
"Well…yeah," she answered with a confused look. "She's always going on and on about how awesome you are, how you helped her get into Beacon, and all the cool stuff you know about dust. Also I gave her my sister approval of you when we first met remember? Plus, you get bonus points for annoying Weiss."
With this new bit of information, I tried to keep a stoic look on my face as my mind split between glee and panic.
Oh my god Ruby considers me a friend…that is freaking awesome!
No dumbass it isn't! Her first friend was supposed to be Jaune not some random hobo Dust tutor she had!
I'm not a hobo! And so what? She's still friends with Jaune, and by extension Pyrrha. So the plot should still be good when the 'End of the Beginning' happens.
That's not the point! Self help books state that your first friend is the one you always go to for advice and for a shoulder to lean on! That was supposed to be Jaune, not us!
Oh, and we're the ones to take advice from those pieces of trash?
You're the one that read the book idiot!
Ha! You just called yourself an idiot!
Doesn't matter, what matters is that we managed to change the plot again! We're setting this world up for disaster and you know it!
Look maybe we should all just calm down an-
"Hey Boxman! You still in there or do I need to crack your noggin again?" Yang asked, waving a hand in front of my face.
That managed to snap me out of my internal debate
"Uh sorry about that, I was… thinking," I answered nervously. Raising an eyebrow she asked.
"Were you actually upset that my little sister thinks you're her friend? Cause if Mr. Boxman thinks his little hoboness is too important for my little sister…"
As Yang cracked her hands angrily I quickly tried to patch up the situation before I turned into extra crispy bacon.
"No no no! I just think Ruby should have friends her own age, not some washed out homeless guy who just so happened to be her Dust Tutor for like a couple weeks."
Yang pursed her lips and just rolled her eyes.
"Oh buck up man. You've clearly made an impression on her. My sister considers you her friend so you better act like it, or I will reenact our first meeting."
"Yes Ma'am," I squeaked.
"Good, so stop spacing out, you and I have to talk business."
Thankful for the change in topic I sighed and rubbed the sweat off my brow, and in the process brushed the bump that'd been forming.
"Oh yeah, about that, if you're not going to beat me up then why did you stuff me in a sack and knock me out?!"
Now it was Yang's turn to laugh nervously.
"Ehehehe…about that. You see the whole thing was kind of spur of the moment. See I needed to get alone with you, and I figured the school would be the worst place for that since you're always around that lady janitor, and your Velvetty Press is always around. So I improvised when I saw that laundry bag on your cart, and here we are now."
I simply raised my brow as I pointed to the noticeable bump on my head. Yang again chuckled nervously as she continued.
"Oh, that was an accident. I wasn't looking where I was going while carrying you and I accidently slammed you into one of the fire extinguisher cases."
"Oh Gee, thanks for that. I got work still you know?! You may have many sources of income, but I don't! And thanks to you I'm going to be short on my check, AND I'm going to miss a lunch date!"
"Whoa whoa, Relax Boxman, I got you covered. I'm not heartless you know" she said as she brought out 60 lein and placed it in front of me. That sure shut me up.
"And sorry if I messed up your Date, but hey, now you might be able to take them somewhere fancy," she smirked.
"It's not that kind of…uh…Thank you," I sputtered as I took the money and placed it in my track pant's deep pockets.
Money is money, and I desperately needed some!
"No worries pal. But yeah, it was spur of the moment. After I accidentally knocked you out I-"
"Let me guess, you stripped me out of my jumpsuit and propped me on your motorcycle right?"
She was taken aback at this statement.
"Yeah…How did you know that? How did you even know I had a motorcycle?" she asked suspiciously.
Oh Crap! I mentally screamed over letting a detail like that slip.
"Uhh…it's, uh. It's quite obvious really. Seeing as how I don't have on my jumpsuit and you don't have on your school uniform, you obviously didn't want anyone to know we're from Beacon while we're out," I theorized. "And as for the motorcycle, uh…Your hair!" I pointed.
"Huh?" she asked as she felt it. "What about it?"
"It's showing obvious signs being flattened by a helmet, and I doubt you're the kind of girl who still uses a pedal bike," I bullshitted in what I hoped was a confident voice.
"Wow…" she said as she looked me over and I mentally panicked. "That's some pretty good sleuthing there boxman. That's exactly what happened," she said impressed and I sighed in relief.
"Well it's just basic deductive reasoning that any idiot detective would use heh heh," I chuckled, absolutely relieved I'd been able to pull that out of my ass.
"Whoa wait a minute, you were a detective? Well that just makes things easier!"
"Say what now?"
"You just said you were using skills that any idiot detective would use, so that means you used to be a detective right?" she said enthusiastically.
"Umm, no, actually, but I have studied hundreds of hours worth of the information…"
And by that, I mean I watched a lot of detective shows, like Psyche and Sherlock.
You'd be surprised how many times a lesson in a TV Show or Movie has saved my life.
"Oh, well still, you obviously got the skills for one, and we can use that skill in my plan," Yang exclaimed, not losing her confidence.
"I don't think you really should. And what plan?! We still haven't gotten around to explaining that!"
Yang stood up from her chair and gave me a smug look as she said with confidence,
"Look, Ruby considers you her friend and so do I because of our mutual love of the wonder that is puns. So when you told me the White Fang were after your ass I knew I had to help, but when you told us to butt out I was pissed."
Why do I not like where this is going? I cringed as I felt the dread slowly climbing up my back.
Ignorant to my thoughts Yang continued her spiel.
"But then I figured you just didn't want Ruby involved, which I can respect."
How'd you figure that!? I clearly told all of you to not get involved!
"And since you didn't want my little sister involved, and you so clearly need some muscle on your side, I decided to sneak you out to Vale during school hours. Me and you, Mr. Detective Boxman, are going to find the White Fang members hunting you, beat the crap out of them, and thus get you off their hit list!"
I just stared at Yang for a good couple of minutes trying to process the ridiculousness of what she just said.
When I finally did…
"ARE YOU CRAZY!? Where the hell is Yang?! You're just Nora in a blonde wig aren't you?! AREN'T YOU?!"
I took it pretty well, all things considered.
}Line Break{
So after my little…outburst Yang decided that I was right and that she was acting crazy. She apologized for kidnapping me, gave me even more lien for all the trouble, and we went back to the school.
When we got there Cinder was being carted off by the police for embezzlement, Goodwitch was demanding Ozpin to increase my pay, and I had a mountain of food waiting for me. Delicious, delicious food all payed for by the Schnee corporation which me and Emerald shared, and I even saw Pyrrha and Jaune kissing under a Sakura tree!
…
…
…
Okay yeah that didn't happen. As much as I wished that that was what happened, It couldn't be farther from the truth.
You see instead of that wonderful scenario occurring, Yang completely ignored me and dragged me out of the bar, chuckling the whole time. I figured that she was going for Bumblebee, but she just walked right past it.
A bike like that in this neighborhood? You're just asking for it to get stolen. I thought as she led me by the arm. Then again, anyone stupid enough to steal her bike is just asking for an ass kicking. I didn't voice these thoughts aloud due to, you know, being dragged and all.
She then proceeded to ignore my multiple shouts of 'OW' as she tugged me for about a mile down the road until eventually we stopped in front of a shady looking building with a café across the street.
Yang was smiling all smug like, while I on the other hand was gripping my forearm in pain and groaning.
You crazy blonde bimbo. I think my freaking bones have your finger indents in them! Yang simply rolled her eyes at my groans.
"Oh come on man, I didn't pull that hard on you."
I simply glared at her and didn't bother giving her any response. Instead I gave the shady looking building, called Pawners, a confused look. The place looked abandoned, with crumbling walls and way too many spider webs for my liking, there were even parts of the wall missing from the place.
The only indication that it wasn't an abandoned haunted house was the rare body coming in and out.
If this is Remnant's version of what a typical pawnshop is, then I'd hate to see what a run downed one looks like.
Yang noticed my confused look and smiled smugly before saying,
"Now I was going to tell you why we're here, but where's the fun in that? Since you're the big ol' detective why don't you tell me instead?"
Oh sure, totally fun! Drag me by the heels for a mile after saying we're going to track down terrorists and make me rationalize it why don'tcha? Doesn't that just scream fun?! I'm having the time of my friggen life! I grumbled angrily. I swear to God Yang, you're gonna kill me one of these days.
And truth be told, she got close to fulfilling just that. Multiple times in fact. But that comes later.
Now I will admit, it took me longer than it should have to figure out just why she brought me there. It was pretty obvious looking back on it, but in my defense I was annoyed and hungry, never a good combination if you're trying to figure something out.
Anyway, I started looking around the café for any reason as to why Yang brought me here. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary, besides a sign out front saying 'No Faunus Allowed' that had a crude picture of a bunny Faunus with an X through it. In response, I gave the most justifiable response.
"Really? What is this 1950's Georgia Bullshit?! Who the hell wouldn't want adorable animal eared girls in their esta-*Muff*"
Like I said, a very justifiable response. In all honestly I would have said a lot more and given those bastards a lot more of my mind if Yang didn't stop me by covering my mouth with her hand.
And yes you read that sentence right. Yang, of all people, was stopping me from doing something hotheaded. If I wasn't so pissed at the time I would have questioned reality and if it was breaking…again.
Yang gave me one of those 'Are you serious' looks, to which I only shrugged and tried to say something. But considering Yang was still covering my mouth all that came out was muffles. After that Yang sighed and simply shook her head before removing her hand form my mouth.
"Look man, I know it's disgusting and all, but don't fly off the wagon. You wanna blow our cover?"
"What cover? You're a blonde amazon jailbait with your tits hanging out, and I'm an ax murderer looking nutjob in bright green and pink! Inconspicuous we are not!" I huffed, which caused her to scowl. Not a safe move getting snippy with her, but damn it, I was annoyed.
"Look just tell me why we're here!" I slumped, giving her and the racist café a glare. "I didn't even want to follow your insane plan in the first place, but if you're gonna drag me into this at least make sense woman! Why would we look for the Fang at a place that doesn't serve…Faunus…wait a minute." My eyes widened in realization, too which Yang's smug smile only grew.
"Oh what's this? Does Mr. Detective Boxman have an idea? Well come on man, share it with the class already!"
"You don't think…the Fang are going to attack this place do you?" I asked giving the café an uneasy look. If Yang's smirk could have gotten even bigger, it would have.
"Oh Mr. Boxman I don't think so. I know so." My eyes widened in fear at her confirmation as I started to look around in panic.
OH WHAT THE HELL BARB!? You really must be crazy if you think waiting for a terrorist attack counts as investigating! Even crazier if you think I'm going to stick around!
With that thought I began to bravely flee the soon to be war zone…only to be stopped by Yang grabbing the collar of my pink shirt and pulling me back. This in turn led to me struggling uselessly.
You know if it weren't for the fact that I know she's got super strength and that I weigh almost nothing from lack of food, I would feel really unmanly for her being able to restrain me with only one arm.
After a while I tired myself out trying to break free from Yang's ironclad grip and slumped to the ground gasping for air (yes I was that out of shape).
"Relax Mr. Boxman," she chuckled. "My source told me that they wouldn't hit this joint till they closed. Which should be in about 20 minutes or so."
"What kind of *gasp* café closes *wheeze* in the middle of the lunch rush?" I panted in confusion.
"The kind of café that only serves breakfast obviously. Geeze Mr. Boxman, I know you live on the streets, but to not even know what a breakfast café must suck," she teased causing my eye to twitch.
"Ha ha, very funny. Do you know how dangerous your little plan is Yang?! These guys blow trains and shit up on a daily basis. Plus they want to kill me because they think I'm a pedophile! If we wait for them here, they'll kill us both before we can even blink!"
"Really? Before I can blink? Give me some credit man, I'm a Huntress in training after all," she crossed her arms in disbelief. And with that gesture, I knew I'd lost.
"Okay, look," I sighed in dejection. "As much as I don't want to end up dead in a gutter thanks to some extremists, I know nothing I say will convince you to leave it alone short of a lifetime supply of shampoo."
"Awww…" she smiled smugly. "We've only known each other for a few weeks and you already know me so well! If I didn't know any better I'd say you were stalking me, but we both know how'll that'll end."
Rolling my eyes I chose to ignore Yang and her teasing ways yet again.
"So how about instead of doing your insanely dumb plan, we do something a little bit more…strategic instead?" To this Yang just gave me a challenging grin as she said,
"And what does the all mighty Mr. Boxman have in mind? We gonna hide in some garbage cans and blend into your natural environment?"
I stole a glance towards the run-down pawnshop before saying with a smug smile,
"Well, they do say one man's trash is another's treasure."
}Line Break{
And that is how I found myself and Yang hanging out in a run-down Pawnshop across the street from the café. Luckily the owner of the place was an elderly lady whose sight was going, so we didn't have to deal with being kicked out for loitering. Besides, we were paying costumers after all.
"Remind me again why you made me buy this junk?" Yang groaned in annoyance now sporting a trench coat and shades.
"Again, the busty blonde schoolgirl look sticks out too much. And why aren't you wearing your hat?"
"I'm not wearing the damn hat! If you ask again, I'll make you eat yours!" she growled.
"Okay, okay. Geeze," I backed off. I too wore a trench coat and shades. But at least I had the decent God Damned courtesy to wear my fedora. It completed the undercover look.
And yes, I know it sounds cliché, but come on, the outfit is just designed for stalking or gathering information. Plus fedoras are awesome head wear, especially if you want to remain hidden in a crowd. Not to mention I was just kind of desperate for more clothes, even if the faded brown clashed with my pink and green get up.
Although I'm pretty sure the previous owner of my trench coat died in it. The stink on it reminded me of my poor hygiene from a month ago, but it wasn't quite as rank as I'd once been so I was able to stomach it. Yang on the other hand.
"Ugh, this crap smells like Sour Milk. I was joking earlier about hiding in garbage," she gagged.
"This is your karmic punishment for kidnapping me earlier so just get over it. They'll be showing up any minute now," I said looking out the window at the café."
"Okay, I get the part about hiding out before jumping them, but in the end they're gonna see our faces right? Why do we need a smelly get up?"
"Because Blondie," I groaned pinching my eyes shut. "This is a stake out. We're not gonna jump them here, that'd be suicide. Especially for me. We'll just wait for them to hit the place, then stalk them in the crowd back to their base, and once we know where that is, we can make a clean get away. No needless endangerment of our lives."
If you couldn't tell, this was me trying to keep some sense of canon going. I had all but given up on Yang not interacting with the White Fang till the end of Volume I, so I was hoping that by hiding her identity from them, they wouldn't get interested in Team RWBY.
Of course knowing my luck that wouldn't happen, but at the time I was high on living a childhood dream of going undercover so I wasn't really thinking too much on it.
Anyway, Yang just gave me a blank look before saying,
"So what, you expect me to sit back while the Fang destroy some poor saps café?"
"It's fine. It's going to be closed in a few minutes, and to be honest, those racist douchebags have it coming. What's wrong with animal people?"
"I've only ever heard you complaining about Faunus actually," Yang pointed out.
"That's different! Foxy is an evil little girl, and Velvet is essentially TMZ! I'm not racist! I'm an equal opportunist hater!" I defended, which only made her chuckle. "B-Besides, that's not the only reason why we should sit back."
"Oh yeah, and what's that?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow.
"Because I'm not a fighter. Sure I want these guys to stop hunting me, but seriously, if you wanted to take these guys on you should have brought at least Blake along. Me? What the hell am I going to do? Yell at them to death? The best thing we can do is find their HQ and then make an anonymous tip to the police."
"Dude, seriously, I can handle a few thugs myself," she boasted. "Besides, how else are we supposed to find the Knife throwing guy who started these rumors?"
"We don't! We hope for the best that he gets taken in by the cops, and if not, then hopefully he'll have other things on his mind besides hunting a suspected pedo!" I yelled in frustration.
"What was that?" the pawn store owner spoke up in alarm having overheard that last bit.
"Nothing! You heard nothing! It's all nasty rumors anyway!" I defended.
The old woman squinted in our direction, clearly not assured.
"How old is that girl with you?" she asked in suspicion.
"17 Ma'am. Just having a nice day with this older gentleman while I should be at school." Yang answered giving me a troll look.
"It's not how it sounds!" I shouted shooting her an angry look. "B-Besides, this has no bearing on my current situation! I'm not into young girls!"
"Oh really? Weren't you just calling me Jailbait earlier?" Yang trolled.
"Shut the hell up blondie! You're not helping!" I chided.
While Yang chuckled, I noticed that the old woman was picking up the phone.
"No wait no! Don't call the cops! It's all just a joke! Really Do-"
*BOOM*
I was cut off as the sound of a small explosion and screaming could be heard.
Whirling around I saw that while I'd been arguing, a small group of White Fang members had shown up and had begun their attack early. There were still people inside the café.
And with people in danger, Yang didn't even hesitate to throw my plan out the window as she rushed right out the door.
"Wah-! Yang where are you go-"
"Hey Assholes!" Yang called out to the group. "Heard you were looking for a homeless guy that likes hanging with Fox kids?!"
The White Fang members whirled around at that declaration turning their backs to the Café.
"What do you know about The Creeper?" asked one of them with some sort of dog ears.
The Creeper? Really?
"Well why don't you stop picking on the diners and face ME if you want to find out?!" she challenged and brought her fists up.
In response, every single one of them took up a fighting stance immediately.
Holy Shit. How many of these guys want me dead? I thought in terror.
The old woman behind me was completely frozen in shock, with her phone still in her hand.
"Um, why don't you forget what I said earlier? Call the cops! Call them right freaking now!" I implored her.
And so, my first encounter with the White Fang began…and it went about as well you think.
}End of Episode 10{
And thus the canon of RWBY crumbles as Yang engages the Fang. I wonder if Chris will be able to salvage the situation…hehehehe…
No Omake this chapter due to things I'll explain…now!
So if ya didn't notice, I have updated in a very long time. That is because I had to take a break due to school starting soon. Had to get back into the student mind set you know? I apologize for not making an official hiatus notice till now.
That being said since school is in full swing now I won't be publishing anything after this chap till my Winter Break (December 22nd). But have no fear! In that time I shall be working on and off on chapters so that I can give you guys a bloat load of them (or at least two) when the hiatus ends to make up for the time span.
So yeah…onto me calling you guys out!
Kaizero6: Sorry for such the long wait, hope this chapter was funny enough to make up for it! And maybe AU, maybe not. Who knows?
Prestige Productions: What can I say, I am a man with simple needs. Also yes that fic is weird…if only cause I don't get the crossover is. Eh.
Fetteraga: As much as I would like to take credit for such deep thinking, but I honestly just wrote something I felt Goodwitch would say. However you have given me some very interesting ideas…
Bwburke94: OBJECTION! TAKE THAT! HOLD IT! TURKEY SANDWH-wait what?
Somas35: Glad you like the story so much! I always try to do a good balance of seriousness and comedy in my work, I find people tend to like the humor better if it isn't constantly shoved in their face throughout the whole story. I wouldn't say I know him, I just really enjoy his work. Also Velvet just needs some character development, soon she'll be a stalker bunny with the kindest of intentions!
TM Calypso: Sadly that is not correct, but hey have a cookie anyway!
J-Spark: Thanks for the honesty. I kinda got that feeling too, and I'll be trying to make sure we don't fall into levels of crack or anything like that. For now development and laughs need to take its course.
Rocketmce: Aha! My first shipper! You my sir must stand tall and proud for you will lead future shippers of Chris and others into a glorious battle were only one side shall remain!
Bomberguy789: Ah, I see. Maybe, maybe…also love the revenge with Emerald idea. Might have to use that if I can fit it in sometime in the future
Don't be afraid to send in ideas for the story itself guys, I can always use more ideas! And as you can see I do actually use your ideas via the Omake!
Anyway, sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes, please let me know of them so I can fix them.
All logic used in this fic is completely head-canon. Also any backgrounds made are purely fanon in some cases. If you don't agree that's okay, it's just how I see things.
Holy hell we've did it folks! I don't update this story in months and suddenly we're at 211 follows and 130 faves! You guys are just the best you know that! Soon we'll be high enough to be mentioned among the greats! Or at least pop up with our own tvTropes page…one day.
Anyway, with that all done this has been LightDusk16 signing off!