Hey everybody! Sorry for such a long wait on this chapter! School was a bit of a more hassle then I thought it would be, and some personal irl that kept me busy. But don't worry, for I have some awesome news at the end of this chapter about the story!
Anyway, let's get things rolling! It's show time!
}Episode 14: In Which Scapegoating Leads To Failure{
I have done plenty of dumb and reckless things before I somehow got to Remnant. Plenty of accidental explosions, intentional explosions, vicarious explosions…Okay, a lot of explosions were involved as many of my prank victims can attest to. The point is I was and am a reckless person if I don't have enough time to plan and prepare due to my paranoia. Being stuck in Remnant did not change that fact. I tend to regret these rash actions and can't help but curse my stupidity for not thinking ahead, but taking the blame for this whole debacle with the Fang and Yang...well this is one of the exceptions.
The room was in complete silence as my words started to register with the two blonde women. Yang had a look of shock plastered on her face while Goodwitch had her usual calm look. The only way I could actually tell that my words had any effect on her was the slightly raised eyebrow she had, which didn't really help my confidence as it looked like she was thinking 'Oh Really?'
Oh come on I haven't even explained why yet and you're already doubting me! I'm not that untrustworthy, am I? I panicked as she stared at me in silence that felt like hours, but was only a few seconds.
"Care to repeat yourself Mr. Sullivan?" she finally said after an eternity of a few moments.
"Yeah, what are-" Yang started but I held out my hand to shush her.
"Wel-Well you see Ms. Goodwitch," I gulped. "Yang nabbed me for a completely different reason, and I actually forced her to help me deal with the Fang. This whole thing is my fault." Silence once again reigned in the office, but this time it was shorter as she broke it with a sigh.
"Mr. Sullivan while I admire that you are trying to cover for a student's mistake I have to remind you that all evidence points to the contrary. You have no obligation to help her as you are simply a janitorial worker who got dragged into this mess, nothing more."
"No no no I'm serious Ms. Goodwitch, this whole mess is my fault!" I shook my head quickly and waved my hands back and forth for emphasis. This earned me a slight glare from Goodwitch, before her usual calm demeanor returned.
"Okay Mr. Sullivan, if you are truly the one at fault here then please explain to me what actually happened." Nodding my head I sat back down and began to explain my B.S. version of what happened.
"Well you see Yang here decided to kidnap me as you know, I'm not even denying that part," I emphasized, to which Goodwitch waved her hand for me to continue. "Well she kidnapped me because she thought I was intentionally hurting her sister's feelings and she 'wanted to set the dirty hobo straight' ya know?"
Goodwitch's eyebrow twitched slightly at my words before nodding her head for me to continue.
"Well since I wanted to live and all I told her I had no intention of doing that, deliberate or not, and a couple punches to my ribs later she believed me." I earned a red eyed glare from blonde for this, but I continued on.
"So that should have been the end of it right? Well, it should have been, but…" I trailed off looking at Yang who was equal parts confused and curious. "I kinda sorta blackmailed her into helping me get the White Fang off of my back."
"Blackmail?" Goodwitch and Yang both said at the same time.
"Yeah," I doubled down. "I told her I would report her kidnapping to the faculty, AKA you, if she didn't help me get them to stop hunting me."
"Hold that thought Mr. Sullivan," Goodwitch cut my lie off. "What's this about the White Fang hunting you specifically?"
Oh hell I done goofed! I panicked, my eyes widening at my slip up. I can't tell her the Fang are after me because they think I'm a pedo! Gah quick brain I need an idea!
Thankfully my brain decided to work fast for me for once as another lie popped out of my mouth.
"Well you see I may or may not have got a few of them behind bars during my stint as a P.I. and they wanted a little revenge for 'ruining their Faunus honor' or something."
"Is that so…" she said, the disbelief all but dripping from her tongue. In hindsight, that explanation never would have worked. They looked up whatever small past I had in Remnant before, and obviously they never found any records of me working as a Private Detective, but it's all I could think of to say. Again, I regret many of my ill thought out decisions, explosions or otherwise.
"Yeah! I guess crazy terrorist like to hold grudges," I nodded and lied through my teeth. Ironically I had no idea just how true that statement was at the time. But after my unknowing foreshadowing Goodwitch gestured for me to continue my fantasy narrative.
"So yeah, the animal people terrorists can't let things go, and I'd seen Yang in action before, so I used the situation to my advantage. I know my decision wasn't exactly a morally good one, but well…I was desperate, and I used blackmail like a freaking coward."
"Chris! What the hell are you talking about?! You Di-"
"It's okay Yang!" I interrupted her as I physically placed my hand over her mouth which surprised her enough to give me a few moments to set my pants on fire even more. "I feel guilty enough about dragging you into this in the first place. The least you can do is let me make it up to you by telling the truth."
Yang eyed me quizzically with my hand over her mouth, as she appeared to hear what I was actually saying inside.
Shut up Yang! I'm giving you an out! Let me take the fall!
Still curious, confused, and now frustrated, Yang placed her hand over mind and squeezed it till I swear the bones cracked.
"Eeeeeeee," I groaned as my hand was nearly liquefied. She then roughly shoved my hand off of her mouth and back towards me before huffing and turning away slightly.
"Y-You see? Clearly blackmailing her was a bad thing, heh heh," I chuckled nervously and massaged my squished appendage.
There was a good couple of seconds of silence after that as Goodwitch continued to stare at me in severe doubt.
Come on please fall for it! It's a chance to dock my pay again, you love docking my pay! You can't resist it Goodwitch! Hurry up and believe my Bullshit already!
While I was busy mentally begging the strictest and, in my opinion, sanest teacher in the school to believe my lies, she turned her attention back to Yang and asked,
"Ms. Xiao Long, I would like for you to give me your own perspective of what happened. Is what Mr. Sullivan saying true or not?"
"Ms. Goodwitch I swear I'm telling you the truth!" I interjected. "I was the one who caused this whole mes-"
*Thwack*
I flinched slightly at the sound of Goodwitch's riding crop hitting the end of her desk and effectively shut up as she turned to glare at me.
"That question was not directed at you Mr. Sullivan. I believe I was asking for her side of the story. If you attempt to interrupt again I will have no choice but to silence you myself, am I clear?"
I just nodded my head franticly in fear at Goodwitch's sudden threat because what else could I do?
What the hell do you mean by that!? Are you gonna kill me or something!? Just how much do I piss you off lady!?
My thoughts, of course, went unheard as Goodwitch returned her attention to Yang.
"I-I, well…" Yang gulped under the scrutiny. She threw a quick glance at me, as if I could help her.
Don't. Tell. Truth. Just. Play. Along. You. Dumb. Blonde. I thought with all of my might, hoping my thoughts would penetrate that thick skull of hers somehow. I don't know how she knew I was insulting her just from my facial features, but she threw a subtle kick under the table that hit right in the shin bone.
AHHHH! Why? First my hand and now my leg? Why is a brawling specialist so good at kicking anyway?! I screamed internally as I tried not to let the pain register. I failed of course, but Goodwitch either didn't notice, or didn't care as she awaited Yang's response.
"My perspective huh?" Yang said after taking a deep breath. "Well let me tell you Ms. Goodwitch everything Boxman over here just said was…"
No! Don't go for the truth Yang! Go with the lie you idiot! If you don't the universe might actually explode and- AHH! Quit Kicking Me You Stupid-
"Was mostly the truth," she finished, a sly smirk on her lips.
…Wait you're playing along? I mean-yes you're playing along! Suck it universe! Wait…What did she mean by mostly?
"What do you mean by mostly?" Goodwitch asked, echoing my thoughts. Yang just shrugged her shoulders before she said,
"Well Mr. Boxman here thinks he blackmailed me into helping. That's not exactly true since he only had his word that I kidnapped him, and, well, he doesn't exactly look like a trustworthy person so I didn't really think anyone would believe him."
Hey! I am too trustworthy! If anyone's untrustworthy here it's the illuminati headmistress over he-eep!
My rant on Goodwitch was interrupted when her head snapped towards me with a glare that I swear could scare a ghost into the After-After-Life! I actually held my breath in fear that if I so much as moved she'd use her riding crop on me!
Holy crap do you have sort of sixth sense that tells you when someone's bad mouthing you or something?! Seriously lady that is just downright cree-AH OKAY I'LL SHUT UP I'LL SHUT UP JUST ENOUGH WITH THE PIERCING STARE OF DEATH ALREADY!
"So yeah, there was no way anyone would ever believe him," Yang continued oblivious to my mental turmoil. "But since he mentioned kicking some terrorist jerk's butts I figured I'd play along."
Goodwitch stared at Yang for a few seconds before she took a deep breath of frustration.
"So let me get this straight. Mr. Sullivan was the one who blackmailed you, and even through you knew he couldn't follow through with it you still decided to attack the White Fang?" Yang glanced back at me before she nodded her head and plainly said,
"Yep, only reason I tried to cover for him in the first place is because he's friends with my sister. Can't let her be disappointed that her first friend was just a sleazebag ya know?"
Okay first off, ouch. Second off, Yang that story isn't gonna get you off the hook! If anything, you're just sharing the bla-and suddenly I know what's happening. Yang you sneak!
Yeah, by then it hit me that Yang wasn't going along with my plan to let me take all the blame, and instead she was trying to split the blame again. Naturally I couldn't let that happen so I tried to intervene.
"Wait Ms. Goodwitch she-urk!" Before I could even finish, Goodwitch sent me another one of her death glares, which honestly considering all the times she gave me those I should really get a trademark on it. But yeah, she managed to shut me up once again before she looked between me and Yang. One of us stoic faced, the other nearly pissing their pants. No mystery to who was who. Eventually she closed her eyes in frustration before letting out that deep disappointed sigh of hers.
"Truth be told I doubt both of your version of events."
Well…that suc-
"However, since you both seem so adamant about your side of the story I shall take your word for it."
Wait what!? You're choosing to believe us even though you don't believe? Why would y-Oh God That Look!
The look in her eyes was the same one my sister would get whenever she had some conniving plan to torture me. Incidentally it's the same look I would see in Ozpin's eyes later down the line. The look of a Troll who just found some new targets to torture.
Oh son of a bi-
"That being said I shall be changing your punishments in light of what you've told me. I was simply going to have Ms. Xiao Young give up her free periods for the next couple weeks, but it appears that will be too light of a punishment."
I swear to this day I heard glass shattering at the truth of what would have been Yang's punishment.
Wha…My mind failed to process just how badly I'd screwed up.
"Mr. Sullivan, not only will I be deducting your pay once again to cover the cost of your bail, but you will also have to do double the regular hours of janitorial duty for the next two weeks. In addition, instead of a lunch break you will be cleaning out the Disposery instead of the regular cleaning crew."
Ah the Disposery, the most disgusting filth pile in the entire school. It is literally just this giant hole in the trash disposal building that is filled with broken weapons, run-down training bots, and whatever other teaching materials that can't exactly be thrown away like usual trash. Before the material can be melted down to avoid scavengers getting dangerous tech,
a crew goes in to see if anything is still functioning or not. Can't let good tech be burned to molten slop, now can they?
The thing is, a trash heap is still a trash heap. The ungodly raw egg soup mixed with decaying corpse smell permeates everything, not to mention the eternal mushy gunk that never quite gets burned away. All in all, not a pleasant place, and I had to take care of it for two whole weeks during time I'd much rather have spent hanging out with a maybe-evil maybe-henchmen Emerald.
For once I kept mouth shut at this declaration, not for any smart or reasonable reason, just that I was too shocked to utter a syllable.
"But do not worry Mr. Sullivan, you won't be alone. For Ms. Xiao Young will be giving up her free time, as well as her chances to go on the Forever Fall trip with her team, to clean. Your supervisor Ms. Zatanna will watch over the both of you and take daily reports on your progress. Starting tomorrow you two will blah blah blah"
And so Goodwitch droned on and on with one of her lectures. Really it just boiled down to, you're doing this, no ifs ands or buts.
Yang and I had dug our own graves for this punishment, and in the depths of that stinking filth hole we would lie in them.
}Line Break{
"Well...that could have gone better." What I said was a total understatement. Like of all the things I've said before can't even compare. Not only did I manage to get myself into a bigger punishment than what I was going to get, but I also managed to change the plot.
Yang got banned from the Forever Fall trip! I mean sure she didn't do much during that whole thing, and really in the grand scheme of things it probably wouldn't have made that big of a difference if she was there or not. Sure she was missing out on some team bonding, but to me, that was sufficient enough to have another mental breakdown. Which would make that the, what, fifth one I had just that day? I kinda lose track since it happens so often…
…
Look when you're being attacked by soulless monsters, OP hormonal teenagers, and the ever present fear of accidentally causing the whole world to crumble from timeline changing BS you tend to lose your mental faculties.
…
That said, that's still not an admission of being crazy, so put the sleeveless jackets away!
Anyway, moving on!
My mental breakdown consisted of me trying to keep a straight face while dozens of scenarios played out in my head.
Oh God Jaune's gonna die! He's gonna get eaten by a god damn Ursa and Pyrrha's gonna turn evil from heartbreak and work with Cinder! Blake is going to join the White Fang permanently, Weiss is going to drop out and become an evil business tycoon, and Ruby is going to be all alone and heartbroken!
Needless to say, none of my meltdown thoughts made any sense, but again, a butterfly flapping its wings will cause a hurricane that destroys Japan. One little change can be catastrophic! If you're wondering why I'm emphasizing this, it's because I've had to explain this far too often and it really gets repetitive. So we all good? Yeah? No? Ah whatever, moving on!
While I was having a panic attacks, Yang was just standing off to the side deep in thought.
"Why'd you do that?" she asked, interrupting my 87th and a half scenario involving Ruby becoming the head of Salem.
"Huh?" I replied unintelligibly.
"I said, why did you do that?" she repeated. "Why did you try so hard to get me off the hook for something that was clearly my fault?"
Because my paranoia about the Butterfly Effect makes me do really dumb things to keep the plot in line.
"Just returning the favor for saving my life is all," I actually answered so that she wouldn't try to plop me in an insane asylum.
"Really, that's it? You risked your job just to pay me back for saving your life?" she asked doubtfully.
And that sounds weird to you how?
"Yes Yang, that's all. I don't like being in debt to anyone no matter what. Especially life debts, those really tend to be annoying if you don't take care of them quickly."
Of course I was just spewing BS, but it sounded pretty reasonable all things considered. Really when it got down to it, I only attempted to save Yang from what I thought was a harsh punishment for Ruby's sake. The thought of how depressed Ruby would be without Yang being around was something I didn't want to deal with. Trust me, a depressed Ruby is enough for me to contemplate taking on the entire White Fang to make her feel better.
…
…
…
Okay no I do not have an obsession with Ruby! She's just an adorable little cinnamon bun who should never be depressed! Just because she can kick all kinds of ass doesn't mean her feelings aren't vulnerable!
Ahem, moving on from that rant, it looked like Yang was still doubtful, but she couldn't express that though because an unexpected occurrence happened.
"CHRIS!"
"Huh? Wha-Oomph!"
The next thing I knew Emerald showed up out of nowhere and hugged me.
…
…
…
Yeah you read that right and trust me I don't get it either. I mean sure we were friends and cool with each other, but aside from that one time during my first Beacon Lunch (Which DIDN'T Happen I Swear!) We never really hugged it out. Hell, she's the one who pointed out that it was against school regulations.
So imagine my surprise when I got glomped mid breakdown by the same very, very attractive woman who may or may not be evil.
"Ummm…Hi Zatanna. What's up?" I said dazed and confused. Yeah…I don't take too well to sudden surprises from pretty ladies. My dumbass tone seemed to go over Emerald's head though as she let go and looked me over.
"You're okay! I thought for sure something happened to you when I couldn't find you after I was finished with Ms. Falls' errand and that giant explosion went off."
"Okay I blow up one lab table and suddenly all explosions are my fault?" I replied indignantly.
"Well was it?"
"…Yes, but it was an accident I swear!" I ruefully admitted.
"You know how many broken windows I had to sweep up?" she said sternly with hands on her hips.
"Less than five?"
"Not even close. But still, I'm glad you're not hurt…aside from that bump on your head," she said pointing to where Yang cracked my noggin on the fire hydrant.
"It's not the only injury," I said rubbing my hand and thinking of my shin, "But it could have been a lot worse," I admitted.
"I bet. You've got to tell me everything later. I'm on my way to Goodwitch's, does it have to do with what happened?" she asked.
"Unfortunately," I nodded, my shoulders slumping. "She's cooked up a fresh new Hell for me, and you're invited to oversee."
"Again?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "She'll fill you in, but me and blonde here are gonna be on literal shit duty for a few afternoons.
It was then that Emerald took notice of Yang, who seemed just as perplexed as I did over Emerald's physical affection.
"Oh hi, I'm Zatanna. I work with Chris," she waved at Yang. "You must be Yang right? Chris talks a lot about you and your friends.
"He does?" Yang said.
"Z!" I cried out.
"Oh yeah, you guys apparently give him a lot of anxiety, even though he thinks you're all pretty cool," she trolled.
"Oh he does, does he?" Yang said with her own smirk.
"What the hell? Why would you say that?!" I demanded of my lunch buddy.
"What?" she said 'innocently' "You said it yourself, you're already on shit duty, can't go any lower right? Besides, you do still owe me for those busted windows."
"I don't know, I've seen him go pretty low today. Child endangerment, arson, threatening to molest a tied up woman…"
"YANG!" I screamed while Emerald chuckled.
"Oh wow, I can't wait to hear you explain that one," she said slugging my shoulder. "But yeah, I'll see you around, don't want to keep Glynda waiting."
"But-"
And before I could say anything else, she ran off down the way I'd come from. Needless to say, my mind was a mishmash of confused emotions after that exchange.
"Heh, I like her," Yang said smirking at you. "Didn't know when you said you were missing a lunch date it was with your coworker. You better keep that on the down low though, before Velvet finds out. Luckily I'm not the kind of girl that blabs because I'm so cool right?" she insinuated giving me a 'playful' elbow in the ribs, which still hurt like a bitch.
"Oh God you're insufferable," I groaned and pinched my eyes.
"Oh lighten up Boxman, I'm sure you can make it up to her with those Lien I gave you."
"…I threw those at the old lady at the pawn shop," I admitted sadly. She seemed surprised at first before she started laughing.
Well at least you're off my back wondering why I tried to save your ungrateful hide. Still, the idea of you and Emerald being chummy at my expense seems worse than you being enemies…
In some regards, I do still stick by that sentiment.
}Line Break{
The next day just seemed to prove my running theory of how the universe never wants me to catch a break. You wanna know why? Well the quickest way to the trash disposal building is past the cafeteria. Aside from missing lunch and smelling all those wonderful smells while hungry, I had to deal with all of those staring eyes by myself. Yang and Emerald didn't have to show up till after their own lunch.
Emerald did offer to skip lunch to walk with me, but I was still a bit anxious about her after yesterday's glomp, so I declined.
…
What? I still didn't know what to think about her as a person at that time. We were chummy sure, but don't forget I'd seen her help cause the death of Pyrrha, and Penny in Season Grimdark. This timeline had changes sure, but I couldn't know for certain if she was the same. Hell, I still don't…
But yeah, on that day, which was already going to be a crappy day, guess what line from the show I heard? Go ahead, guess!
…
…
…
"Ow! That hurts! Please stop."
And low and behold when I peeked into the cafeteria I saw Cardouche pulling on Velvet's ears while his idiotic posse laughed.
And well…as much as I wanted to keep the plot stable, especially after my major F-up with Yang, seeing this play out in front of me with none of the other students helping…
"Hey Dick Head! Hands Off My Paparazzi!"
…
…
…
Let's just say some plot elements were about to be broken.
}End of Episode 14{
Time for the obligatory 'OC intervenes with Velvet gets bullied' scene! Even I am not above doing this borderline fanfic cliché.
So that good news I was talking about is this, I shall be graduating this week! That's right folks I'll be free from the bonds of high school and soon be able to work on my stories without having school get in the way. This also means I'll be able to work more often on this story, so with any luck we'll be having a good chunk of episodes out before I head off to college.
Also again sorry for such a big delay in chapters, like I said hopefully I'll be able to work on episodes more often. Heck if we're lucky we might even get to Volume II before I go to college!
Anyway, time to call you guys out!
Impactor: Tada! A new chapter is out, and yes this is pretty awesome! At least I like to think it is hehehehehe…
KingofWonderland40: Thanks! And don't worry, I don't plan on stopping till this story is done! Even if it takes a super long time!
TM Calypso: Looks like you were right with the punishment! As for Yang getting positive thoughts, well hopefully she did get some from this. As for your idea, that's kinda what the Omakes are for (at least the canon ones). This story is being told in a first person past tensed point of view, so jumping from point of view to point of view won't work. However, the Omakes will allow for the POV jumping to happen as you've seen, plus you've given a great idea for the next Omake!
Not as many shout outs as usual, but hey that's what you get for taking such a long time to update I suppose.
As usual don't be afraid to leave any ideas for the fic or Omakes, I always appreciate the extra inspiration and jokes! Plus feedback is always welcomed to help me make this story better!
All logic used in this fic is completely head-canon. If you don't agree that's okay, it's just how I see things
Almost 300 hundred Follows!? And five away from 200 Favorites!? This is so awesome! Thank you guys so much for all the support. I know it's probably not easy dealing with my non-existent schedule and long times in-between chapters, so knowing that it's still so well liked is just pure awesomeness! Thanks again for all the support, and I hope you all keep reading this till the end!
This has been LightDusk16 signing off!