Hey all those who bother to read this fic! It's time to kick off the Volume I Finale in our story, and it only took two years! And check it out, it's earlier then usual to boot! Consider it another make-up for having no chapter last month!
Also check out the awesome cover art one of my friends made for the story! Its probably one of the most bizarre yet funniest thing I've ever seen, and I hope you all get a laugh out of it as well!
Anyway, I won't keep you guys too long. It's time to get this chapter started, along with a Omake at the end! It's show time!
}Episode 21: Ninja Cat Problems{
I am being completely honest when I say that I had no plans made for this situation. Shocking I know considering I have half-a dozen other plans for seemingly everything under the sun, but nothing could have prepared me for this.
I had plans for in case I ran into other main characters, for when a Grimm would eventually rear its ugly head, but having Blake Belladonna reveal herself as a Faunus presumably after telling her teammates she was a former terrorist? There're limits to even my doomsday prepping mind.
And while I gushed over her little cat ears, she hurriedly walked away from the door while scanning the Maintenance Room
"Listen Mr. Sullivan, I don't have a lot of time to explain," she said in obvious panic, despite the attempts to sound calm. "So I just need you to listen to me okay? Coming here was a big risk for me an-"
"Whoa whoa whoa! Time out!" I interrupted, waving my hands for her to stop. "What the Hell's got you all worked up?! What do you mean coming here was a 'risk'? And since when were you a Faunus!?" I asked to keep up appearances.
And why are you not halfway to Vale to hide out before meeting with Monkey Boy?
"Look, I would love to answer your questions, but I can't," she glared. "Not now at least, I just need you to trust me okay?"
"No," I replied sternly which only frustrated her more. "Students aren't allowed in the Maintenance Room, you're acting like you've stolen half of Beacon's budget, and you've changed races since the last time I saw you. Give me answers or get out cat ninja."
Harsh, I know, but I really, really didn't want to get dragged into her White Fang past drama.
"Why do you keep saying that? I'm not a Faunus, just a regular huma-"
It was at that moment that both me and Blake realized that, in her panic to get away from her team, she forgot to put her bow back on. With this sudden realization, her panic increased ten-fold as she gripped her cat ears to try and hide them and crouched down as if trying to merge into the floor.
Huh, I guess even Blake can be forgetful when she's in full blown panic mode. Good to know. Well, better calm her down and figure out why she's here so I can kick her out and not get dragged in.
"It's alright, there's no use hiding them now. It's Blake, right?" At her reluctant nod I continued in what I hoped was a calming tone, "I don't know what's going on, but from the looks of it you need help. So how about you take a few deep breaths and tell me what's up?" Silence was the only response I got.
Okay that didn't work, I sighed. How the hell do you calm down a cat girl ninja-wait a minute. Idea!
With my sudden brainstorm I made my way over to the crouching form of Blake and got down to her eye level. This caused her to stiffen slightly, but I pressed on in the same calming tone.
"Listen, I'm guessing that whatever's going on has to do with your argument with the Schnee earlier, but I can't do much unless you give me some details. So how about you take a seat and I'll get some of my snacks and you can tell me what's going on?" At that, she nodded slightly before walking over to one of the lunch tables and sat down.
I can't believe that worked! Appearing small and unintimidating works on both scared animals and scared Faunus. Thank you Animal Planet!...Is that racist?
Shaking my head from such philosophical thoughts, I hurried over to my locker where I kept some non-degradable foods like Twinkies, peanut butter, canned food, etc. Months of starvation taught me it was always a good idea to store sustenance, in case of emergencies. Luckily, I had just the snack for our favorite catgirl.
I placed two cans of tuna in front of her and, as if a switch had been thrown, her demeanor changed. Her eyes lit up and she started salivating before she clawed into the meat like she hadn't eaten in years.
Damn this girl loves fish, I thought in amusement as I watched her chow down. It's like a cat video on steroids, I can't look away. It's so adorable.
I'd rank the daaaw-ness level a close second behind Ruby doing literally anything. Tough ranking system, but hey, them's the breaks. Anyway, after a few cans, she let out a sigh, before she wiped her mouth and looked at me.
"Thank you," she said humbly.
"No, thank you. I kind of wish Velvet was around to film that. Maybe then she'd start filming someone else besides me," I joked, but her ears wilted as she looked down.
Or maybe not, I thought as I scratched my beard nervously.
"But now that you're kind of calmer, let's take it from the top shall we?"
With a nod, she began. She basically told me the same story she'd told Sun in canon, with only some details omitted due to still being in Beacon. It was almost to a T of how the speech went, which just begged the question…
Why aren't you telling this to Sun?!
This was supposed to kick off the start of their relationship, two Faunus finding an understanding and offering comfort. She wasn't supposed to tell me first! So, while I kept a neutral tone during her tale, I was screaming internally.
Crap crap crap crap! I should have just kicked her out and been a dick! I have to stop trying to be nice and understanding! If she doesn't meet up with him and say this speech, will it sink the S.S. BlakeSun?
…
…
…
I'm a shipper. Sue me.
But anyway, as my brained yelled in what-ifs, her sad story came to an end.
"So here I am: a criminal hiding in plain view, all with the help of a little black bow."
Blake then rebound her cat ears and gave them a wiggle to emphasis her point.
Aw come on, it's a better look when they're out and-No Focus Idiot!
I quickly discarded those thoughts and put my attention back onto Blake, who was waiting to hear my response. After a few moments to collect my thoughts, more on what to say and not so much on my reaction to her story since I knew it already, I took a deep breath and gave her my best response.
"That's it?" It was actually kinda funny when Blake just blinked owlishly at my bluntness.
"What?" she asked dumbly, to which I gave an exaggerated sigh and leaned back in my chair.
"You came in here all shifty eyed and panicked making me think you'd killed the Ice Queen or something, this is actually a relief," I lied.
"That's all you have to say?!" she growled, her shock replaced with anger. "I'm a former White Fang member and you think it's no big deal!?"
I just gave her a blank look before I said,
"If it weren't for Ozpin pulling strings I would be in the same boat as you for that warehouse awhile back. Besides, your past isn't what matters right now. What matters right now is…"
I made sure to lean forward and to give Blake my best serious look as I finished in a lower tone,
"How are you gonna deal with your teammates knowing your past?"
And then I lean back to my original position as my words caused Blake to gain a thoughtful look.
Ha ha. Got to say a cool line and get the plot back on track, I congratulated myself. Now she'll worry about her friends, run off to Vale, and hopefully talk to monkey boy like she's suppos-
"They won't understand at all unless I prove to them that their perceptions are wrong. That's why I came here," she said, interrupting my internal wishing.
"Huh?"
"I need to prove to them that the White Fang aren't completely evil. The best way I can think to do that is to prove your innocence and show that they can also show reason and mercy."
"Uh…Cat ninja says what now?" I asked dumbfounded after a few moments of shocked silence.
"It makes perfect sense," she continued on oblivious to my words. "Weiss brought up them hunting you as 'proof' that they're evil. All we have to do is prove to the more levelheaded ones that you aren't a Creeper, and they will rescind the bounty, thus not making them hunt an innocent man, and thus showing that they aren't evil incarnate like she believes."
What the hell kind of logic is that?!
I was honest to God confused out of my mind why Blake, the usual calm and collected one, was spewing completely illogical ideas. I mean the Blake in canon never acted like this…well so long as Adam wasn't involved at least…Or in Volume 2 when she was super obsessive over the Fang, or when she ran away after the Volume 3 Finale when she clearly should have stayed with her team.
…
…
…
Okay, maybe she could be illogical at times, but still.
"Blake…that has got to be the worst idea I have ever heard. Of all time," I monotoned. Blake of course took my words in stride…and by that I mean she glared at me even more.
"What do you mean by that?! It's a perfectly good idea!"
"Listen Blake, I'm sure there are some good Faunus in the Fang, but a majority of those guys are nothing but crazy cult nutjobs! For Christ's Sake, Foxy was there and telling them off, clearly not being abused by me, and they still wanted to kill me!"
"Because that group was being led by an unreasonable man. If we can just prove to the more level-headed ones, then we can change the public perception."
I, knowing that was completely false dismissed her hopefulness entirely.
"Yeah, that's not going to happen. Look, no one's going to change their minds about me at this point, and I'd rather not be dragged into this."
"But Mr. Sullivan, this will benefit you as well," she pleaded.
"I'm sure it would, if it worked, but it's not going to. Trust me. I'm sure there's some other way that you can-"
"I know your perception has been swayed by what's happened to you. But believe me, I've known some good people, and they can't be in the minority. Right now they're on a bad path, but that can be fixed."
I sighed as I put a finger to my temple, and was about to dissuade her, when she said something that pushed one of my buttons.
"People can change if you give them the chance."
"No they can't!" I responded heatedly which took her off guard.
"What?" she asked in surprise.
"People don't change who they are, no matter how many false promises they make or how much you wish they would. When a person show's their true colors, that's it. Everything else was just an act."
Her eyes widened at my accusation and crassness before her glare returned ten-fold. It wasn't an 'if looks could kill' glare, but it was pretty close.
"That's a highly fatalistic view. I'm sure th-that the Fang is just misguided! If some people were to just show them that there's a better way th-"
"No! I'm sorry Blake but people like that don't change. Once a person breaks your trust, they're just going to keep breaking it again and again no matter how many chances you give them!" I growled as the conversation started to bring up bad memories.
"Then what about me? I left the Fang, are you saying I'm a crazy murderous terrorist?!" she asked in distress.
Now right here I should have realized that I was letting my anger cloud my judgment and calmed down. Sadly, this particular subject struck a personal chord with me, and I was in too deep.
"No you're not, you're just a 'misguided' kid in way over your head. You still think the best of people that don't deserve it because you thought you knew and loved them. You keep pretending that you don't see who they really are and that they can still turn over a new leaf, but that's just a fantasy. Toxic people like the Fang are better off just cut off from your life and left to rot!"
"You don't know what you're talking about!" she hissed as she stood up dangerously.
"Really? I don't know about egomaniac liars and backstabbers who would rather indulge in their own needs at the expense of their family's?"
That certainly shut her up in shock at that description.
"Yeah, describes people you know too doesn't it?" I accused. "Toxic people like that will only keep hurting you until you give up on them. That's not fatalistic, that's realism. People are people, and they don't change."
I meant every word of it, and I still do. Don't believe me? Try having your junkie big sister pawn your shit for the umpteenth time and say otherwise. Remember when I told Emerald I hadn't seen her in years? Well there you go. Supposedly she turned it all around, but I'll never forgive her for the shit she pulled, and the less said about her the better.
As for Blake, she just continued to stare at me in shock, tinged with pity after I said that. The look on her face was…heartbreaking. So much so in fact, it got me to stop projecting.
Ah hell, what am I doing? She doesn't need me yelling at her, even if she does need tough love and the truth, she's panicked enough as it is, I thought in regret. Besides, she's got to learn that lesson with her friends…
I let out a sigh as I shook the anger clouds from my mind and looked at her sympathetically.
"I'm…I'm sorry about the rant, I didn't mean to-" I began before I was interrupted by one of my oh so many annoyances in Remnant.
*Knock Knock Knock*
"Hey Boxman you in there? We need to talk, it's important!"
Both Blake and I turned towards the door and stood up in horror, but of course for different reasons.
"Come on Yang, I'm sure Chris is probably out patrolling or something. We need to find Blake!"
"I know sis, but Zatanna didn't even know where he was, so might as well check. Besides maybe he knows where she ran off to."
As the door began to open, I looked at Blake, who herself looked at me…and I pushed her inside the trashcan on my cart before covering the top with another trash bag.
…
…
…
Look there weren't a lot of hiding places nearby and I couldn't have them finding Blake till the next day at the docks with the Fang. I had to get some semblance of canon back on track. That and well…a tiny part of my considered it payback for all the stalking. Not exactly proud of that part but…eh.
Anyway, after throwing her away, the door opened and in walked Ruby and Yang. Well I say walked in, but it was more Yang charging in and Ruby awkwardly walking in behind her.
The two sisters looked a little worse for wear, at least Ruby did. She looked like she had been running around the whole school with how messed up her hair and clothes were. There was no doubt in my mind that she had probably spent a good portion of the last hour looking for her missing teammate.
A teammate who I had just shoved into a trash bin in order to hide her.
Why do I have a feeling that I'm about to feel super guilty?
"See, told you he'd be in here," Yang said triumphantly.
"Yeah yeah," Ruby rolled her eyes.
"Oh hey girls," I waved awkwardly. "Didn't hear you at the door. I was…napping."
"On the job?" asked Ruby.
"…Yes," I lied before coughing into my fist. "But anyway, students aren't allowed in here so…"
"Yeah yeah Mr. Runaway, we'll be out of your scraggly hair soon enough," Yang scolded. "You didn't happen to see our resident bookworm while you were on the run did ya?"
Oh yeah, she's in this here trash bin which I just so happened to shove her into. Here, wait a bit while I get her out so you screw this episode up even more. Oh, and should I also mention that you should look into prosthetic limbs? No reason, just saying. My sarcastic thoughts aside, I took a deep breath before I lied like no man has ever lied before,
"Who?"
The sisters looked to each other in confusion before Ruby said,
"Blake?"
"Who's Blake?" I "expertly" lied again.
"The black-haired pale girl in our group?" Yang described.
"Uh…doesn't ring a bell?"
This caused Yang's eye to twitch in annoyance.
"Blake! The B in RWBY! The girl who's always reading a book and wears all black!" I pretended to think for a few minutes before my eyes widened in 'recognition' and I facepalmed.
"Oh! You mean little miss ninja! Nah, haven't seen her since she was having her spat with the princess a while ago. What was that about anyway?"
Instead of giving an exposition dump like I thought she would Ruby just gave a sad sigh before she sped off, leaving rose petals in her wake like usual. Though I already had an idea why the adorable reaper was down in the dumps I decided to remain oblivious.
"Whoa, what's up with Red? She took off faster than usual today." My question seemed to, rightfully, anger Yang as she glared hard at me.
"What's wrong is that two of her teammates are at each other's throats, one has run off to who knows where, and you, her supposed best friend, totally ditched us earlier!" she growled causing me to wince.
"Look I'm sorry about that, diarrhea just hit out of nowhere and I had to go!" I fibbed but judging from her expression she wasn't buying it. "Uh, plus, I uh didn't want to get dragged into a clearly heated argument. I figured it was just one of those team spats everyone goes though so it wasn't a big deal."
"Sorry doesn't cut it Boxman!" she grunted poking me in the chest, my answer not satisfying her. "Now tell me why you really ran, and don't lie…"
Yang's trailing off did more than enough to scare me, along with her now scarlet eyes. Rightfully fearing for my life, I quickly stuttered out,
"O-okay look I may have heard a rumor that those two were arguing about the White Fang. I figured me being there would have just made things worse so I bolted before I could get dragged into it!"
Yang gave me a clearly disbelieving look, so I continued.
"It's the truth, I don't do well in conflicts as you well know. Besides, everyone needs time on their own away from their friends. That Blake girl probably just needs some alone time too."
She continued to stare at me in silence for a few seconds before she grunted
"Whatever," and walked out of the room.
I couldn't stop the sigh of relief leaving me at not being turned to mush by Yang…though that relief quickly turned into guilt as I realized I may have pissed her off and saddened Ruby more than I thought I would.
God damn it…why do you guys keep making me out to be the bad guy? This never would have happened if you'd just gone to any other dust shop Ruby.
Shaking my head, I removed the bag covering the trash can to find an oddly comfortable looking Blake. She was contorted in a small space, and yet she seemed nonplussed.
So on top of fish, she also loves small spaces like a cat…again can't help but feel that that is racist, but on the other hand it's true so…
Before I could say anything, Blake stood up from inside the trash bin and gave me some kind of look that I couldn't identify.
"You knew and tried to stay out of it?" she asked, but I stayed silent. "Why did you cover for me if you're so against my plan?"
I just sighed deeply and tiredly before I gave her the best glare I could muster.
"Yeah, but look what good that did me. Still got involved and now the sisters are pissed at me. So do me a favor Blake and get out of here before anyone else comes along?"
I was just done with the whole mess. Me somehow throwing another damn wrench into the dwindling canon, getting mad at stuff in my past, and now the sisters getting on my case, I'd had enough.
A look of hurt crossed her face, fleeting though it was, before her usual stoic expression returned. She then turned around and started to climb out the nearest window. You know, as ninjas do.
However, before she could leave, I decided to give my final two cents. I was still a bit pissed but I thought I could still try once more to get canon on track.
"And Blake, if you're really serious about your whole White Fang plan, I need to make a recommendation, don't even think of trying to clear my name. Try something similar like…I don't know dust or something."
She stopped briefly taking in my words, looked at me from the corner of her eye, and jumped out the window. After a few minutes of silence, I collapsed onto a chair and cupped my face into my hands.
"Please oh please let things get back on track. I hate being the asshole…"
Sadly for me, things were only going to get worse.
}Line Break{
The next day, the same day Blake should've met up with Sun with the rest of team RWBY setting out to find her, left me in a less than better mood.
The whole guilt over angering Yang and Ruby made it difficult to get a restful sleep, and Emerald had tried to grill me for information and it only made it worse. Thankfully unlike with Blake I managed to keep my emotions in control and didn't go overboard on Emerald. Though I know she suspected that I wasn't being completely honest, I didn't focus too much on it.
Instead I was constantly debating if I did the right thing and didn't just send Blake off to her death. I'd already inadvertently caused Jaunedice to occur in a different way, so what if I'd done the same thing with Blake? She'd confided in me, so what if she didn't run to Sun and instead just went straight to the Fang? Those thoughts were the other reason I didn't get much sleep.
"Geeze Joker, you look exhausted. Is something wrong with your corner?" Emerald asked as I let out my millionth yawn while on patrol.
Yeah, it's got a moron sleeping in it, I thought guiltily before I said,
"N-nah nothing like that. Just stayed up too late last night thinking and I lost track of time."
Emerald gave an inquisitive look before she slyly asked,
"Oh? And just what were you thinking about. Lady troubles perhaps…?"
I just rolled my eyes at Emerald's tone before I said,
"Get your mind out of the gutter. I was just thinking about…things is all."
"Just things?" she raised a non-believing eyebrow. "Way to be vague man, at least give me a hint. Chris? Uh…Chris? You there pal?"
The reason for Emerald's questioning was no doubt due to the fact that I had stopped walking next to her and instead stood stock still at the cafeteria entrance. The reasoning being because I had noticed something that should not be at the cafeteria at that moment.
Or should I say three people that shouldn't be there. For there in the cafeteria eating lunch with a slightly depressed air around them was team RWBY minus the B.
What the hell!? Why are they here?! They should be out in Vale looking for Blake before she gets herself and Sun killed! Why are they freaking here damn it!? Why! Why! Why-
"Hey, where are you going?" Emerald asked as I rushed into the cafeteria, ignoring her. I ran right up to Ruby, Yang and Weiss's table and asked.
"What in the hell are you guys doing?!" I asked panicked, confusing them.
"Um…Eating lunch?" Ruby guessed.
"I can see that, but why? What about Blake?!" I stammered.
"Hmmph, what about her?" Weiss responded ingdignantly.
"Can it girly!" I snapped which caused her to scowl. "But seriously, do you even know where Blake is?!"
"Oh, so now you know her name?" Yang scolded folding her arms.
"Now's not the time for high school drama Yang! This is serious!" I insisted taking her aback.
"Have you heard from her Chris?" Ruby asked hopefully.
"No, and I'm sure none of you have either. Why aren't you looking for her?!"
"Calm down man, take a chill pill, we're just giving her some space is all," Yang said, holding her hands up in a placating gesture.
"Giving her some space?" I asked incredulously.
"Yeah, it was your idea actually," Yang pointed out.
"…WHAT?!" I yelped, earning me more than a few looks from the others in the room.
"Yeah," Ruby interjected. "After we came by yesterday, Yang told me what you'd told her about needing alone time. I realized that Blake just needs some time away from Weiss, and once they both cool down and are ready then we can talk things out."
"Really? That's the lesson you learned from me?!" I stammered.
"Even though I doubt all the time in the world will be good enough for her," Weiss pouted.
"Oh stick a fork in it," Yang chastised before looking to me. "So, why so interested? I thought you didn't want to get involved?"
"Because reasons! You should be out looking for her right now!"
"But she could be anywhere, and we still have classes today," Weiss countered.
"Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it, we don't have a clue," Yang nodded. "She'll come around. Now, why are you so panicked? Do you know something we don't?"
I didn't answer her, for no words could come out of my gob. I was frozen in horror, my mouth agape as the weight of what I'd done came crashing down on my head. I couldn't tell them in any clear rational way that Blake was in danger. I couldn't come up with an excuse to get them more urgently invested in her search aside from telling them I could see the future. From their point of view, there was absolutely no reason why I should think Blake was in danger, and thanks to my own words, they wouldn't either.
I…I…
"Chris are you okay?" Ruby asked in concern. "You just got super pale and you're shaking! Do I need to get the nurse or-"
I didn't even let her finish as I booked it away from my cart towards the exit. I was shaking all over as a dark, disturbing sense of dread filled my very core.
"Chris wait!" Ruby called after me, but I kept running. Once I reached the exit, I didn't stop, not even when a surprised Emerald called out.
"Chris, what's going on?!"
I just kept running as everything spun out of control, only one clear thought hammering in my head.
I've Killed Blake! I've Killed Blake! I've Got To Do Something! God Damn It I've Killed Her!
I made a mad dash for the Maintenance Room. I didn't even bother changing out of my uniform as I put on my trench coat, grabbed both my Axe and my prototype gun, and stuffed my pockets with plenty of Steam Dust pellets.
This is stupid! This is stupid! I'm gonna get myself killed! I hyperventilated as I exited the room and started booking it towards the Bullhead docks.
But if I don't do something she'll die and it'll be all my fault! No Blake means no RWBY, which means no cool saves for the others, which means death for them, which means the end of the universe!
Of course, said universe decided that right then was the best time to screw with me as I almost ran head first into the Anti-Christ.
"AAAHHH!" I screamed as I skidded to a halt.
"Why Mr. Sullivan, what's the rush? Late to clean up some classroom I presume?" taunted Cinder Fall.
On any other day, I would have cowered in fear, but right then and there I was too busy trying to save everyone's favorite cat girl to give a damn about her.
"Listen Fall you've picked a bad time, I have to deal with something so excuse me!" I implored as I tried to get around her, but she cut me off and grabbed my shoulder. The burning sensation I had longed hoped to never feel again returned as she forced me to look at her.
"Now Mr. Sullivan what is with that tone? Is that anyway to talk to a fellow coworker?" she threatened. "I thought you were finally improving your behavior these last couple of weeks, finally showing myself and the other staff respect, but I guess I was wrong. Why don't we take a trip to Glyn-"
"Listen here little miss pyro!" I growled, shoving her hand off my shoulder and startling her. "I don't know why you hate me so much for calling you Cindy, but today is really not the day for this! So complain to Goodwitch all you want, but know that right now I could give a rat's ass! Now get the hell out of my way!"
Now let it be known that I would never have said this under any other circumstance, as there are far easier ways to commit suicide, but I needed to move before it was too late.
And surprise surprise, I wasn't burned to a crisp immediately. My words actually seemed to shock and surprise her as she just stared at me in befuddlement. Guess she wasn't used to people talking to her like that.
Taking my window of opportunity, I dashed around the evil bitch and placed any worry of consequences to the back of my mind as a Future Chris problem.
As I reached the end of the hallway, I heard her mumble to herself in what sounded like awe.
"Well now…Isn't that intriguing…"
It was a Future Chris problem alright.
}Line Break{
After, sadly, bargaining half of my paychecks I managed to bribe one of the Bullhead pilots to take me to Vale outside his regularly appointed time. Once docked, I hit the ground running. I went as far as I could without my lungs killing me like the time I'd fled Neo, till I was somewhere down town, vaguely in the direction of the docks.
The whole time, I kept my eyes open on the streets and rooftops for a familiar cat Faunus, but naturally, I did not see her. But that was Okay, because finding her would have been a bonus, but it wasn't my full plan.
I made sure that I was in a crowded area before I took out my Scroll, turned on the video camera app, and started recording, selfie style.
"Hi Z!" I said exuberantly and as crazily as I could. "You're probably wondering why I ran off. Well the thing is, it's such a nice day here in Vale, how could I not?"
I swung myself around, getting a good shot of the people around me and the buildings and streets.
"I mean, I haven't even seen any WHITE FANG or anything, so it's fine" my raised voice for White Fang certainly turned some heads within the crowd which I made sure to catch on the video. Some looked momentarily panicked, some looked angry, but all of them eventually wrote me off as just some crazy homeless nut.
"But yeah, no need to send out your favorite babysitters or anything. I'm sure that Belladonna girl will find me somehow. Everything's fine…"
I then stopped recording and immediately sent that video to Emerald's scroll.
My thinking was that since she'd gone out of her way to send RWBY after me on my last day off, she would do so again if I was acting off my rocker. If she did, then that would get RWY into the city, and if they were looking for me, they'd also have a reason to look for Blake too. All I had to do was wander around the city to keep them searching and look for her myself to make up for lost time.
After getting out of the crowd and going down a less busy street, I received a response from Emerald which read.
'What the Duck R U Doing?!' I didn't answer back, though I did snort a bit. Even in fantasy worlds, autocorrect is a problem.
My scroll then started to ring, but I put it on silent and kept a steady jog as I looked for Blake.
After a few more missed calls, I got even more texts which boiled down to, 'Chris! Answer Your Scroll!' But I did not.
Oh, if this works, there's gonna be a lot of people pissed off at me, I shuddered, but I soldiered on. But it'll be worth it if they can find Blake.
A few hours of dodging phone calls and looking for any sign of a runaway cat girl later and I realized I was not a master tracker. I'd practically covered every street in all of Northern Vale, and there was no sign of her.
Ugh. This is Season 1! This would be so much easier if all you unimportant backgrounders were in shadow! I thought in irritation.
I then took out my scroll and looked through my countless messages. Aside from Emerald, I'd received quite a few from Ruby, and even Yang asking where I was. I let out a sigh, knowing that at least they were in the city.
Okay, so if worse comes to worse and they don't find her either, I can get them in the neighborhood of the docks. I could probably scope it out from some rooftop, and if things start popping off, I can call in the cavalry for Blake and-
*Bang*
"Ow!" I cried out as I walked headfirst into what I thought was a steel pillar and fell on my ass. Turns out looking at your phone while walking and not paying attention is a recipe for disaster. As I groaned and held my head the thing I'd run into spoke up.
"Oh! Salutations hobo looking person, are you alright?"
"I'm not a hobo!" I grunted in annoyance as I stood up rapidly. "I'm just-"
My usual justified rant was stopped dead in its tracks when I saw who it was I was speaking to, and who I'd literally just run into.
Oh you have got to be kidding me! I thought in frustration.
"Oh, my apologies not-hobo sir! I did not mean to offend you!" apologized everyone's favorite robo-girl Penny.
And like that any anger I had towards the universe and the robot girl evaporated at the adorable blank look on her face. And before anyone gives me any looks can you really blame me? In terms of adorableness Penny is ranked number two on the scale right under Ruby, just eeking out victory over Blake doing internet cat things.
But anyway, despite not being angry anymore, I still didn't have the time to talk with her.
Sorry Penny, I don't want to get too attached to you, you're gonna get scrapped in a few months anyway. Although…
It was then that I realized that because Ruby, Yang and Weiss hadn't been out earlier looking for Blake, then they might not meet Penny at all. That would be all kinds of bad. But yet again, I had an idea.
"It's alright, happens all the time," I hand waved to her. "I may look like it, but would a Hobo have a fancy Scroll?" I asked dramatically as I showed it to her.
"Oh, I guess not," she nodded in understanding. "I do apologize again."
"No worries. All's forgiven. Smile!" I said as I quickly took a selfie of us, being sure to get a street sign in there as well.
"Did I smile well enough?" she asked as typed a new message to be sent to Ruby, Yang, and Emerald.
"Yup. You did good," I said attaching the photo and hitting send. "See, almost professional level."
I turned the screen so that she could see, along with my MMS which read,
'Hey guys. Found a New Friend. LOL'
There, now she'll definitely be found.
"But anyway, I gotta be going now," I apologized and started walking away. I only got about three feet away from Penny when the words I'd typed registered in my mind.
Wait a second! Did I jus-
*Bang*
"Urk!"
"What did you call me?"
I looked up from my now fallen position to see Penny standing before me in all her awkward glory. I, of course, could only say the most intelligible thing to her question.
"Wha-How'd you get in front of me so fast!?"
Penny ignored my rather obvious question and leaned in closer to me as she asked again,
"Did you call me friend? Are we really friends?"
If I were in any other situation, I would have debated for a good couple hours on how to respond to her question and knowing how quirky Penny is she probably would have just waited patiently until I did. But I still had to position the main characters where they should be, so I couldn't really afford to answer her.
Not to mention we were starting to draw a crowd, and considering I already had the White Fang thinking I was some sort of predator I didn't really want to draw the ire of the rest of Vale's citizens.
So instead I did the far more understandable solution. I quickly got up, threw down a Steam pellet, and booked it out of there while yelling,
"Sorry, I've got to go now! See ya later!"
Now looking back on it, if I had actually answered her question right then and there. Things probably would have turned out differently than they did.
And by that, I mean things could have turned out much, much worse.
}Line Break{
It was early evening and the sun was beginning to set by the time I'd made it near the docks, and I was sweating profusely. The whole fight occurred at night, so it was only a matter of time if she'd even ran into Sun to get the idea in the first place. And if Ruby and Penny didn't have their timely arrival…
I shook my head from these thoughts as I looked for any dilapidated building that would be high enough to give me a view for when things went down. That's all I could do, because even if I had found her, what exactly could I have contributed? I'd fluked out and won against three low level lackeys, and only because I took them by surprise and fought dirty. No, keeping an eye on things and directing the others was the only solution, even if I had to answer a million questions after the fact.
But I never got the chance. In my search, for a suitable building, someone I didn't expect called out for me.
"There you are! Just what do you think you're doing?!" The color completely drained from my face as I turned around to face one very irritated Weiss Schnee.
Given the situation, there was really only one response I could give,
"Weiss!? The hell are you doing here so early?!
…
…
…
Oh that wasn't a joke, that was literally the only response I could have had. Given all the stress I was feeling that day it was a wonder I didn't just stutter out a bunch of gibberish in surprise.
Weiss ignored my outburst as she started to, dare I say, angrily stomp towards me.
"Half my day! I have spent half my day looking for you and the first thing you say to me is 'why am I here'?!"
I will admit to backing away from Weiss in fear as, let's face it, she could kill me with literally a flick of her wrist, and that was before the anger.
"S-Sorry, I just didn't expect you out of everyone to find me out here, and by yourself no less."
Weiss actually did one of those stereotypical 'hmph' sounds while crossing her arms and moving her head to the side.
"Trust me, spending half my day looking for you of all people was far from my list of priorities today. But Ruby asked us to, and since I need to show that I am the best partner I couldn't exactly say no."
I was momentarily confused on the whole 'best partner' thing since I'd actually forgotten that plot point, but I quickly shook off those thoughts.
"Okay, good point. And where is everyone else? Why isn't Yang with you?"
"Still searching if I had to guess," she responded indignantly. "We split up after we ran into that strange girl you took a picture with. The others are probably still on the other side of town looking for either you or my 'teammate.'"
Oh thank god, it all worked. They're searching for Blake, and they found Penny. It all- I paused my congratulations as something she said registered.
"Wait a second, what do you mean by others?" I asked causing her to give me an annoyed side glance.
"Team JNPR volunteered after they overheard our conversation with your coworker, who I must mention is also spending her remaining working hours searching for you as well," she said as if she was very disappointed in me. "We did need more eyes since we were looking for two people instead of one."
Shit! I got JNPR and Emerald involved too? If they show up to help at the docks this is going to change the Finale big time!
"Why did everyone else get involved? I'm so not worth it!" I bemoaned.
"Couldn't have said it better myself," she huffed.
"Quit agreeing with me!" I grunted before facepalming. "Okay, looks like you found me, good job. Now why don't you run and find Yang while I got catch up wi-"
"Now hold on a moment, I'm not just going to let you leave after all that effort," she declared, causing me to groan.
"We all saw that message, you are clearly not in your right mind, which is saying something. Running away from your job and yelling about those White Fang monsters in public, and making friends with strange girls? You have to be stopped before someone gets hurt."
"No it's fine, seeing you made me snap back to reality, and now I want to see Jaune, Nora and the others," I insisted. "Now go find Blondie, I think I saw Blake around here so you should patch things up princess."
"For the last time I am an heiress!" she said in annoyance. "And I am not going to let you roam on your own. And if you know where she is, you are coming with me so I can hand you off to Ruby and Yang and we can all look for our wayward 'teammate."'
Why does she keep saying teammate like that? Wait…If you're not with Yang right now, that means you didn't have that talk that opened your eyes that led to you accepting Blake…
"GOD DAMN IT!" I cried aloud and kicked an empty soda can.
"Hmmph. There's no need to throw a tantrum," Weiss scolded.
How can I not?! I keep breaking things even when I try to fix them!
Ignorant of my thoughts, she continued.
"Now it's growing late, please come willingly, I don't want to have to drag you."
"Alright, alright. Let's go find Yang, that sounds great! She's a good conversationalist, you should definitely have a deep conversation with her when we find her," I insisted as I walked towards her, causing her to wince in disgust.
"You clearly need some sort of mental aid…" she murmured.
"Agree to disagree," I deadpanned before I pulled out my Scroll. "Let me just call off Zatanna, and you can call off Jaune, because I'm sure you have his number whether you wanted it or not."
She placed her hands on her hips and sighed before taking out her own Scroll.
"I won't deny that that's an accurate statement," she said in exasperation.
"And tell them not to come to us, because Ninja girl could still be on whatever side of town they're on," I pleaded as I started texting.
"But I thought you said you saw her around here?"
"I might have been lying. I'm clearly mentally unstable right now!" I countered, not looking up from my screen. "Now quit arguing if you want me to go with you Princess."
I then typed a few more words, nearly done with my message for keeping Emerald away from the docks, when I realized that there was no usual groan of annoyance at my Princess quip.
"Aw come on princess, the joke doesn't work if you don't get anno-"
A piercing pain hit the back of my head cutting me off, and then I felt nothing as darkness consumed my vision.
…
…
…
Yeah, I had just gotten kidnapped again. Truly I must have some inherited pheromone that makes people want to nab me or something!
}Line Break{
When I finally came too, I found myself in total darkness due to the blindfold tied to my head. I tried to move my arms and get up, but apparently my newest kidnapper decided to take the extra step of tying me up as well.
"Ugh…God damn it," I groaned as I registered the pain in my head and the tightness around my hands and feet. "Why does this keep happening? I said I'd go with you Weiss…"
"Mr. Sullivan, is that you!?" spoke the devil sounding distressed.
"Of course it's me. Why did you knock me out?"
"I didn't! I was struck from behind as well," she said sounding a bit scared.
"You were?" I asked in surprise.
Well if it wasn't her then it's probably the other two. But…
"Princess!? Why would Yang or Nora kidnap you?" Even though I couldn't see her, I'm betting her eye twitched at that.
"You dolt! We have clearly been kidnapped by some criminals and your first assumption is that my teammate or Nora did it!?"
There was a few seconds of silence before I said awkwardly,
"Well you'd be surprised how often that's the case." She groaned in annoyance at that, but before we could say more to each other, another voice joined the fray.
"Well well well, it looks like the dame and the bastard are finalies ups!"
A cold rush of dread filled me as soon as I heard it.
Oh crap! I'd know that Frankenstein of accents anywhere! It can't be!
Both mine and Weiss's blindfolds were suddenly removed, showing that we were in a makeshift cell made of sturdy looking wood in the middle of some sort of warehouse. In front of us was the owner of the voice, someone who'd been on my shit list for months.
"Longs time no see, ya little bastard shopkeep."
There before me was none other than Torchwick's henchman, Grunt, and behind him were two Fang members, both pointing their weapons at me and Weiss in precaution.
Now there were a lot of things I could have said at seeing the man who blew up my perfectly good place of work, thus setting off a chain of events that saw me never being able to avoid the plot again, but none of them were appropriate enough to keep me alive.
So instead I simply gave him the best deadpanned look I could and said,
"I have to ask, is Grunt a family name or did you pick yourself. I have to know!"
…
…
…
Maybe not the most intelligent thing to say, but I regret nothing!
…
Okay maybe a little bit.
}Episode End{
Now wasn't this chapter just full of sunshine and rainbows! Also ain't I a stinker with that ending?
I wonder what will happen to Chris and Weiss now, and the canon is pretty much dead at this point, poor Chris. Tune in next time as we enter the Volume One Finale in full force!
But in all seriousness, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter despite the darker tone and more depressing feel surrounding it. Believe or not this is how my usual comedy goes hehehehe…
But enough of my yapping, its time to move onto a long waited Omake! The continuation of the very first non-canon Omake is here, and we're picking up right were we left off from last time! And don't worry, I actually got approval from the author to write it this time!
Without further ado, lets start the show!
}Omake 7: It's My Turn In This Dimension Part 2 [Non-Canon] (Idea by: Le MAO XXIV){
The last time we saw one Chris 'Joker' Sullivan, he was being chased down the halls of an alternate Beacon by an adorable bunny Faunus named Violet in order to escape the wrath of one appropriately named Mr. Tazor, as well as to avoid coughing up any money for the little girls swear jar.
Let's see how he's been since we last saw him, shall we? I do believe he should be-
"FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT A HOBO YOU ADORABLE MUNCHKIN! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY GOD DAMMIT!"
"THAT'S ANOTHER SWEAR MISTER HOBO! YOU OWE 27 SWEARS NOW!"
Currently racking up a debt with a child while somehow still outrunning her despite her vehicle advantage…
Only Chris people, only Chris…
Speaking of our unfortunate protagonist, it appears that his stamina is finally starting to fail him as his breathing is now shallow, and he is quickly losing the gap between him and the bunny girl.
Crap…gotta…ditch…figure out…what's…happening…
It appears Mr. Sullivan is so exhausted that even his thoughts have gaps for breath. Truly this is a dire situation for him. Luckily for him a nearby door is open just enough for him to quickly sneak in and close it behind him.
He holds his back against the door, eyes closed as he listens for the tell-tale signs of Violet's vehicle passing by. Once the beeping of the sirens and the little girl's orders into her scroll are no longer audible Chris lets out a sigh of relief.
"Oh thank God I lost her. Now I just gotta figure out how I got from one fictional world to a world based on said fictional world. I swear if this is somehow Raven's portal bullshit on overdrive, I'll-"
"A fictional world huh?"
"And who is this Raven character you speak of?"
Chris's eyes snap open as he sees a very much alive Amber and a very stern looking Winter staring at him, weapons drawn.
Chris can only let out a sheepish chuckle before he says,
"Uh…if I were to say I was a friend of Colt's would you not kick my ass?"
The two very attractive and very scary, girls share a look before looking at him and saying at the same time in an almost deadpanned like tone,
"No."
Chris can only let out a chuckle as he digs into his pockets.
"Hehehehe…it was worth a try at least. Now-"
With a quick thrust to the ground Chris throws one of his Steam pellets, filling the entire room full of steam. With his cover secured he quickly dives out of the room, giving one final shout.
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE…AND COLBER FOR LIFE!"
Needless to say the chase is back on, only this time with an extra flair of ice and fire spreading all over the walls and floor.
Truly no matter what universe Chris is in, there will always be property damage.
}End Omake{
I like to think that no matter what dimension Chris got sent to, no matter what fandom or show he got stuck in, he'd always fine some way to cause property damage. It's the one constant in his life really, and that is both a sad yet kinda awesome fact! Also, Colber is the ship name for Amber/Colt, the OC of the story for those who don't know.
Anyway, despite this month getting two chapters I will still be writing a chapter for next month…hopefully. College is back in session and I don't know how much free-time I'll have to write. But like I said in the beginning this chapter was another make-up for last months blunder, so if anything just expect two chapters in March if I can't get anything uploaded next month.
Now before I start to ramble, lets move onto my personal favorite segment! Let's get to calling you guys out like usual!
VirusChris: Glad your enjoying the story, and love the Omake idea! Though I need to debate with myself if it should be a canon one or not. And don't worry I get as much good sleep as any college student…which is none but I'll live.
ubivashka-kun: Distinguished huh? I like the sound of that…anyway glad you liked the chapter. I have to say I have similar taste in harem styles as you, too many now a-day just slap a bunch of girls onto one guy with literally no reason. Also love the comparison to Gintama, though I doubt this fic reaches its level of hilarity.
OutL0ud: Have I mentioned how much I enjoy your profile pic? Cause it is literally one of the best things I've ever seen, and glad you're enjoying the story!
BOW-B-4-ME: I can see your point in how Chris acting out all the time can get kinda bland, but I like to think the situations his craziness puts him into make up for it. But that's just how I see things, and I hope your still willing to give the fic a chance later down the line.
Phantom System: Glad your enjoying it so much, and nothing fills me with pride more then hearing how my story is making someone laugh! If I may be so bold, what do you enjoy about this fic and what was your favorite part of this chapter?
GuestA: Yeah, my publishing recorded isn't the best. But I like to think the quality of the chapters themselves makes up for the lack of quick updates.
Prestige Productions: Yeah, my previous stories had me constantly leaving the chapter end open for input, so I just kinda naturally got good at making cliffhangers, and now its just kinda a habit. And also yikes, dental bills…may the power of Ships see you though this!
GuestB: A Warhammer reference huh? Wasn't expecting that, and the whole Bullhead crashing thing too. Though I feel like these options are more of the Renegade options…
CplTwitch: Another Warhammer reference! Weird to get two of those here, much less two different people. Pretty sure I haven't made a reference to it yet either…
Waffenmia: I can't help but picture a shining light behind him, and maybe a chorus singing. Oh, and a generic yellow background with flowers falling all around him! …I watch too much anime.
TM Calypso: Man am I going to enjoy your reaction to the Yandere reveal, and I would give ya a hint but…spoilers! Also I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well, and who knows maybe all this talk about yanderes might convince to write a Yandere!Ruby fic in the future?
point: Sadly I don't think anything could have helped Chris in this situation…except for maybe booking it out of there and hiding out in the Disposery.
Remzal Von Enili: Yeah, bit of a oversight on my part. I meant the cartoons didn't exist, but the live action movies did. Basically the toys were way more popular in Remnant then earth. And to answer your questions: I told you, yes you are and that's good, because its sugar, and PRAISE ARKOS!
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh: I honestly don't know if your trolling or not, but I think that's just your name and the format of your reviews messing with me. There's nothing I can really say besides this is just how I see the world of Remnant as, and this is how I write the story. That's really all I got.
Thank you to all those who reviewed as usual! See what you guys liked about every chapter, or just general questions or jokes is always fun!
As usual don't be afraid to leave any ideas for the fic or Omakes, I always appreciate the extra inspiration and jokes! Plus feedback is always welcomed to help me make this story better!
All logic used in this fic is completely head-canon. If you don't agree that's okay, it's just how I see things.
Our follow count has reached 543! We only just hit the 500 mark, yet not even a month after the last upload we're near the 550 mark! I'm…I don't know how to describe how happy that makes me! And the favorite count is now 386! This is all just too awesome for words!
This has been LightDusk16, signing off!