How I Failed To Avoid The Plot

by LightDusk16

Ever have those days where you feel that the universe is out to kill you? Well that's my whole life in a nutshell for the past few months. I've been transported to another world, been beaten with an inch of my life on multiple occasions, and somehow managed to get involved in the plot of this world even through I wanted nothing to do with it. Screw you universe!

26. Episode 26: Visiting Hours

Hey all! How's everyone's 'social distancing' going?

…

Yeah I kinda figured that. It sucks but hey, gotta stay safe and all that. Through with this in mind I hope you all don't mind that I made this chap extra extra long for you all to enjoy! After all I know pretty much everyone has a lot of free time on their hands now (whether they want that free time or not is up for debate hehehe).

Anyway, that's enough pandemic talk! Let's get things rolling, its show time!

}Episode 26: Visiting Hours{

So there I was being cried on by a very attractive woman who moments earlier I had been sure was going to gut me, which hadn't really happened to me before. Not the whole 'thinking I was going to get killed by attractive women' thing, this wasn't the first nor the last time that would happen, but the whole crying bit.

In all my life I'd never been in any situation where someone cried on my behalf like Emerald was doing. I'd put myself in the hospital plenty of times back on Earth in my amateur chemist adventures, but it was never anything serious. My aunt, mom and little sister never shed a tear because all those times it had been my own dumb ass fault for getting hurt. Sure they felt worried for me, but even I could admit that I had reaped what I sowed. So add the shock of someone reacting like that to my situation on top of all the complicated emotions I felt towards her, and you get me freezing up like a deer in the headlights.

Alright, I just… my mind wavered still trying to process everything as my eyes wandered to Yang. She still stood in the doorway with her arms crossed and a small smirk on her lips as she gave a quick head tilt as if to tell me to do something already.

What am I supposed to do? This scenario is new and scary! I mentally bemoaned as I looked back at Emerald and felt a twinge of guilt. I mean, I expected tears from Ruby because that's just how she is, but Emerald…Well, at least I should get her to stop crying, I hate seeing her like that. Finally breaking from my paralysis, I patted her gently on the back.

"Uh, h-hey Z, it's been awhile huh? H-how ya been?" I said while desperately trying to keep the discomfort and nervousness out of my tone.

Of course, the look Yang gave me after I said that proved I didn't do a very good job at that, but thankfully Emerald didn't seem to notice as her sniffling started to come to an end.

"H-how have I *sniff* been? Are you seriously *sniff* asking me that Joker?" she asked with a bit of chuckle. Despite the circumstances I couldn't help but give my own nervous laugh at that.

"Heh heh, well in my defense I haven't heard much these last couple of weeks so I figured something interesting must have happened while I've been stuck here. Come on Z, tell me the latest school gossip!" Slipping into my default joking attitude really struck a chord with her as she chuckled again while sitting up and wiping her eyes.

"Jonesing for knowledge huh? The books in here that stale?" she said looking at my reading list on the bedside table.

"Well, they're not juicy watercooler talk," I admitted, and she just shook her head.

"Well, for starters the dropout rate has increased, half the student body is in detention and everything's fallen into chaos because a certain janitor hasn't been around," she said with such a straight face that I momentarily faltered.

"Wait, really?" I asked. Almost immediately her façade cracked and she started laughing in earnest.

"No you dumbass," she guffawed. "Beacon's not just going to fall apart without another mop jockey."

I'll admit, I felt embarrassed for considering, even for a moment, that my presence was enough to shake up the student body. But to be fair I had already shaken up the entire plot so why not?

"Alright, jeez, I hadn't really thought that," I lied while pouting and she just smirked knowingly.

"Sure you didn't…but that's not to say that there haven't been those that have missed ya," she said while bopping me on the arm playfully.

"I, uh, I can see that," I said while pointing to the wet stains on my gown.

"Oh that? Don't think too much about that," she said while waving her hand dismissively. "I'm just grateful I won't have to work extra hours soon." I just gave her a raised eyebrow at that.

"I'm thinking of calling BS on that," I said plainly and she rolled her eyes.

"Obviously," she said with a laugh before her face became serious again. "It…it really is good to see you again Chris."

Again, I was thrown for a loop as she said it sounding entirely sincere and I faltered with my words.

"Oh, uh…thanks?" I said dumbly and she shook her head.

"Heh, you're such a dork," she said before becoming somber again. "But I mean it man. I've been worried sick since that night." Her eyes wandered down to my chest and she flinched. "That was…it was terrible to see you like that."

Do you actually mean that? My traitorous paranoia wondered. Your boss did this to me, no matter what Ozpin says, so do you not agree with it?

At my silence there was a brief moment of quiet as unpleasant memories of that night returned.

"I'm…I'm sorry you had to see that Zatanna," I ventured, waiting to gauge her reaction.

"And I'm sorry you had to go through something like that," she said with a frown, and again, she sounded sincere.

"It's…" I hesitated for a moment, "It's good to see you too."

She smiled again at that and gave a slight nod.

"Glad to hear it. Sorry it took so long, but this stupid hospital wasn't allowing visitors, and I got temporarily banned when I got caught by that red headed dude in the face mask for trying to sneak in when we heard you first woke up."

Figures Dr. Grey would be more competent in guarding me then those Atlas gu-Wait What?

"You tried to sneak in here?!" I yelped, probably a bit too loudly.

"Yeah, it didn't work out too well though," she said with a huff. "Apparently those running this sterile hell didn't think a friendly face might have helped when you woke up."

Despite her words, I thought the exact opposite. If I had awoken and seen her standing over me in my weakened state, I probably would have died from shock. Also, my earlier fears of her coming back to finish the job didn't seem so unfounded anymore.

"You tried to break in…" I all but whispered, and she misinterpreted my shock and worried expression and scratched at the back of her neck.

"Okay, maybe I was a little more worried than I let on before but hey, it's been quiet without you around."

I just looked at her blankly as I pictured her successfully getting in, and whether or not I would have seen the same tear-soaked reunion, or a stone-cold killer.

"Hey don't look at me like I'm stupid," she huffed misreading my face again. "Sure I clean bathrooms for a living, but I can not be seen if I don't want to be. That ginger guy was just a fluke so don't underestimate me."

"I'm not underestimating you," I placated, knowing damn well I was overestimating her to the extreme.

"Well good," she said with a curt nod. "But yeah, I might have been the only one to try to break the rules, but that doesn't mean everyone else didn't want to."

"Who's everyone else?" I asked timidly and she looked at me incredulously.

"Who else dummy? All your friends," she said as if it was obvious. "After months with only vague updates on your condition, we were all a little antsy. Yang kept breaking gym equipment."

"Which I paid for," the blonde brawler interjected reminding me that she had been watching this whole exchange.

"You didn't pay for it, you just went to detention," Emerald countered and Yang pursed her lips and looked away.

"That still counts."

"Breaking gym equipment?" I questioned, but Yang didn't answer, and Emerald just shrugged.

"We all had our ways of coping Chris. If it weren't for that stupid restriction of only two visitors at a time, this whole room would be filled up," she said with a gesture.

"Oh…well maybe that's a good thing. Still recovering and all that," I said, grateful that that wasn't the case.

"I thought you'd already started physical therapy?" she questioned.

"How did you know that?" I asked a bit surprised.

"Blake has stayed in contact with that monkey faunus guy and he said you were doing great," she explained and I inwardly groaned.

Of course he'd gossip about that, I thought before my eyes widened. Did that dude bro tell them about my lack of Aura too?! Emerald hadn't broached the subject, and I didn't exactly want to bring it to light if she was still ignorant, so I just decided to keep the conversation going.

"Well 'great' is a bit of an overstatement, but I am doing much better. I've even gone up to 25lb dumbbells."

"That is good to hear. So, since you are strong enough…" She then introduced her palm and five fingers to my face.

*Slap*

"Ow! What the hell Z!" I cried out as I started rubbing my now red cheek in an attempt to ease the pain.

"That was for doing the most asinine thing by going out on your own and getting captured by those White Fang creeps!" she scolded, and I tried to sink further into my pillows. "If you so much as think about doing anything that stupid again then I'll do much worse than a smack," she threatened while holding a fist in front of my nose.

"I won't, I swear!" I bellowed as my eyes crossed, looking at her knuckles. And to that she smirked playfully and lightly booped me on the nose with her other hand.

"Good, because I'd hate to mess you up more than you've already been," she said lightly.

So was that just to mess with me or are you just saying that for a joke? Make up your mind you confusing woman!

Deciding that it would be better to keep my thoughts to myself I remember just nodding fearfully in agreement as her playful smirk turned into a more genuine one.

"I mean, we all know why you ran off like a loon thanks to Weiss, but next time if you feel like causing some chaos, at least give me a call?" she implored. "I'd would have helped you out in a pinch. Heck, I could've gotten Neo to help out as well, she's been asking about you."

OH HELL NO! I thought in abject terror. I wasn't certain if that green haired girl back at the docks had just been her in disguise or not for whatever reason, but the last thing I wanted was to tempt fate.

Before I could vocalize such a thought though, Yang interrupted again.

"Any one of us would have helped if you'd just asked," she said somberly as she walked up to the side of my bed.

Emerald looked from Yang and back to me seemingly conflicted before she resigned herself and stood up.

"Hey Chris, you want a coffee? Because I could sure use one," she asked.

"Uh, no thanks," I turned down a bit confused by her reaction.

"Alright then, I'll be back in a second," she said, giving a pointed look at Yang before walking out the door.

What the hell is that all about? What's going on? I thought in paranoia as I looked at the stoic looking blonde girl standing over me. Is she gonna slap me too?

Having been on the receiving end of those fists, I didn't fancy another dip into that pool, so I tried to make small talk.

"Hey Blondie, it's good to see you too. How come Ruby isn't with yo-"

"Who's Sin?"

And like that Yang's sudden interruption stopped me dead in my tracks as the room suddenly got a lot colder. I had been expecting this question eventually, but not this soon and from Yang of all people.

Crap! Just drop that right out of the gate why don't you?! I thought apprehensively. And I can't just tell you, Ozpin basically implied that he'd kill me if I did!

Yeah, I know he said 'reprimanded', but it was in the same speech where he told me he had my balls in his hands, so it was safe to assume so. He probably wasn't ready to drag her or any of them into his secret war so early, and if I went around accusing Cinder after he all but said she was innocent, I didn't want to face his wrath.

"Uh, a sin is something bad and-"

"You said 'Stop Sin,' not 'a sin,'" she accused and I gulped.

"Uh, when did I say that? I don't remember mu-"

"Your last words were 'Fall Maiden, Stop Sin.' What does that mean? Is this Sin this Maiden?" she grilled and I nearly choked.

"I, uh, listen Yang, you can't exactly trust my words at that moment after such a-"

"Damn It Chris!" she shouted and clenched her fists which caused me to jump in my bed as her murderous red eyes came out.

Oh God I should have just told her the truth! I quivered, but she seemed to come to her senses and took a couple of deep breaths while looking down at the floor.

After a few moments of her ragged breathing, she looked back at me and her normal lilac eyes had returned.

"Look Chris, I don't know what your deal is, but you clearly know who tried to take me out, and that person is still out there probably preparing to try and kill both of us again!" Yang took another shaky breath before she continued, "We need to know who it is so we can protect you, because this isn't just going to be a one-time thing!"

Not only were her fists shaking, but so was the rest of her body as she forced herself not to break down. I was stunned to say the least at seeing this badass brawler being far more affected by my death than I'd thought.

I…now I can see what Emerald meant about breaking gym equipment, I thought as I watched her shudder. And I want to tell you Yang, I really do, but I can't or else Oz will sic your uncle on me to peck my eyes out!

Yang apparently took my silence as my means of answering her as she let out a sad sigh and sat down with her head down. There were a few moments of tense silence as both of us refused to speak, and just when it was about to reach unbearable amounts of uncomfortableness Yang spoke up again, this time in a quiet soft tone.

"When I was little, I did something incredibly stupid. So stupid that I still berate myself to this day. You ever done something like that when you were young?"

I was so taken aback by the change in tone and topic that I didn't answer, but my mind flashed to plenty of instances surrounding trusting my older sister and giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Also, why does this sound familiar?

"Heh, yeah you probably did," she said with a nod, reading my face. "Everyone has that one moment, at least that's what my dad always tells me when I bring it up. Course I still think mine was the dumbest of moments…" Yang let out a sad sigh before she continued, "I don't want to get into it, but needless to say I put both mine and Ruby's life in danger over something incredibly stupid. If it wasn't for my Uncle Qrow I doubt I'd even be here really."

My eyes suddenly widened in realization as the reason why this sounded familiar to me became clear.

She's talking about how she almost got herself and Ruby killed when she went looking for that bitch Raven! But why? Why are you telling me this?!

"Back then I was too weak to do anything, too weak to protect my sister, too weak to protect myself, too weak to find…just too weak," she bemoaned. "I swore I would get stronger, that I would never feel that defenseless ever again. That I would get strong enough to protect Ruby and anyone else I cared about…That I would never be that weak again."

Yeesh, I guess besides the looks Yang has something else in common with bitchy bitch face. Great…

…

…

…

What can I say? I don't like Raven…at all. Trust me it gets far more justifiable later, but that's not important at the moment.

Anyway, there were a few more moments of silence before Yang suddenly looked up at me, her face was conveying nothing but a sad determination.

"I thought I was that strong, that I didn't have to worry about anything. But then…you got shot by that stupid fucking arrow!" she growled as her eyes shifted again. "I felt like I'd become invincible, but that arrow would have killed me if it hit! I couldn't stop you from taking the shot for me and I couldn't help save you or anything! The only thing I did was get you to an ambulance! And then you were in a coma and I couldn't help with that either!"

She clenched the arms of the chair and the plastic cracked in her grip.

I tried to say something, anything to help put her mind at ease. I tried to tell her that I hadn't jumped in front of the arrow to save her, that it was all just a fluke, but her demeanor was leaving me speechless.

I had revered her when she'd only just been a cartoon on my computer screen, and over the months I had come to see her as an annoying nuisance, but the fact of the matter was, she was still just a young girl who didn't have her whole life in order, and in that instance she reminded me a lot of my little sister back home. So I didn't say anything and let her speak, because I knew that was the only thing that would make her feel better.

"After you were taken away I realized I still wasn't strong enough, I needed to work harder and be better. I swore I wouldn't let someone I care about be put into danger again after Ruby, and I failed. But this time, I'm going to keep that promise." Yang looked at me with so much determination and fiery passion in her gaze that it was almost blinding as she said, "Like it or not Chris, you are my friend, so there's no way in hell I'm letting this happen to you again, got it?"

The smile that Yang gave me was so genuine that all I could really do was nod my head dumbly, which only caused her to smile even more before she pursed her lips and looked at her feet.

"And…I guess I should have led with this but…" she said nervously. "Thanks for saving my life back there."

But I didn't, I was just trying to escape and Cinder shot me. It was just a coincidence you were there, I wanted to tell her…but with how she was acting, I just couldn't.

"I don't know who I pissed off, or why they tried to take me out then and there…but I'm grateful that you were there," she said before looking back at me seriously again. "I won't forget it anytime soon. I owe you a big one and you can be damn sure I pay my dues."

But I don't think this is a debt that you can pay back. I didn't earn it anyway, I thought in melancholy, but once more, I stayed silent and just nodded.

"Just tell me one thing Chris. This Sin or Maiden or whatever, are you not allowed to talk about it or something?" she asked and I gulped. "I mean, with the Atlas Guards out front and Ozpin treating your visitation like you're an expensive artifact, is this like some top secret, burn after reading spy stuff?"

I didn't even open my mouth on that one and tried to remain stone faced, to which she sighed at.

"Yeesh man, what have you gotten yourself into?" she shook her head. "Well, if you ever decide to stick it to the man or whatever, I'll be the first in line to hear about what the hell's going on with you and the government."

Let's hope it won't come to that, I thought, picturing the glare of Ozpin's cold eyes.

"But in the meantime, even if we don't know everything, me and the others are gonna have your back, got it?" she said pointing her finger right in front of my nose.

"G-Got it," I agreed out of reflex. This brought her usual chipper grin back as she got up from the chair and stretched a bit.

"Good. Thought I'd have to get rough with ya there for a bit to protect your hobo ass. Glad to know I didn't though."

And like that the serious mood Yang had created was utterly destroyed as my eye twitched in annoyance.

"You know for damn sure I'm not a hobo Blondie!"

Yang waved her hand in a 'yeah yeah whatever' way as she said,

"Whatever you say Boxman. Just know that you've got a whole team of pretty girls now protecting your terrorist wanted ass from now on. Plus JNPR too, but I don't think Jaune could pull off the pretty girl angle. Maybe Ren, but Nora…actually she'd probably be okay with that."

"Just…why?" I groaned out in annoyance, knowing that once Yang made up her mind like this there was nothing I could do to change it. Which meant I was now stuck with a bunch of main characters protecting my ass from a threat they shouldn't even know about yet. It also didn't help that I wasn't supposed to tell them anything per Ozpin's orders.

"Why? Because you're our buddy," Yang said as if it was obvious. "Or was Zatanna's bawling not evident enough?"

"I…well…" I stammered and she smirked.

"She's probably not going to be the last one to shed some tears when they see you," she said plainly. "Ruby for sure."

"Yeah…where is she anyway?" I asked. "I thought for sure she would have come with you?"

"Ah, well…" she scratched at her ear. "Ruby's got this thing about hospitals. She wants to see you for sure but…yeah."

"Oh," I said in understanding. Not everyone can stand the sterile smelling halls of death and sickness after all, though my curiosity was peaked about the reasons why.

Has she always been like this, or was this something I changed? I wondered.

"So yeah, expect a tear-filled reunion when ya see her…which is something I wanted to talk to you about.

"Huh?"

"I was thinking that maybe she should wait to see you once you were more up and about," she admitted, and my jaw dropped.

"Really?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "You still look like hell man and…I'd like her mind to be more at ease if you were moving around more and stuff."

"…You know, I can kind of understand that logic. I'd feel the same if my little sister's friend looked as bad as I do," I agreed after a moment of thought. There was no ifs and or buts about me seeing Ruby again as caught in the web as I was, but at least I could make it more pleasant for the little cinnamon roll.

"Glad you agree," she nodded and grinned. "But I'll keep her updated on how well you're doing."

"Thanks Yang," I said with a nod.

"Wow, did I just hear that right? Did he thank you?" Emerald said in overdramatic shock as she walked in through the door with two cups of coffee.

"Yes you did Z. I guess his rehab is helping with his manners as well," Yang joked and I sighed as she went back to her usual nuisance self.

"Oh, nope, there it is again," Emerald said with a playful smirk. "Come on Chris, for a guy called Joker you sure don't take jokes well."

"Because I've heard most of them a million times before," I told her plainly.

"Well, now you'll get to hear them a million times more," Yang pointed out. "We'll make like a broken record and…repeat."

Despite myself, I couldn't help but smile at that awfully lame pun, and I let out a short laugh which eased the mood of the room.

}Line Break{

Surprisingly enough, the rest of the visit went by pleasantly. With all of the dramatic bits over and done with, they just chatted with me as if I was an old friend who they hadn't seen in years. None of them brought up the topic of my last words again which was fine by me. I wasn't that optimistic to think it would be the last time entirely though. Even if she more or less guessed how serious the info I had was, I knew Yang and the others would try to broach it again at some point. But thankfully, it wasn't that day.

I also just want to quickly point out that the only reason I gave in so easily to Yang's 'offer' was because I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it, and totally not because I felt really happy that a bunch of the characters I grew to love were willing to protect my skinny ass and not because I was giving up on avoiding the plot.

I was just making the best out of a piss poor situation is all, nothing more or less!

…

…

…

Oh shut up, all of ya!

Anyway, the conversations between us was just the usual bickering back and forth just like when we were cleaning the Disposery all those months ago. It felt nice chatting with the two of them again after going so long without it. At least chatting that didn't involve the use of the word 'dude' every five sentences.

Don't get me wrong, Sun's a great guy and all and he helped me a lot during my physical therapy, but if I had to deal with only his bro lingo for those weeks until I was finally discharged then I would have gone nuts!

Besides I sorta, kinda, missed the others and being able to chat with them again was…nice to say the least.

But yeah, after Yang and Emerald were through with their visitation, they left without incident and told me that they looked forward to seeing me back at school. I guess with the Vytal Festival coming up, my visitors could only come when they had the time and under the specifications that Ozpin had laid out.

So a week after Yang and Emerald arrived, someone with too much time on their hands showed up as my door was slammed open.

"X-BOMB! THE QUEEN OF THE CASTLE IS HERE TO SEE HER RECOVERING SUBJECT!"

I bet you're all just dying to know who such a subtle person was huh?

"Hey Nora, Ren. Nice to see you two didn't switch personalities while I was off in La La Land." Was my slightly annoyed grumble as I looked towards the entrance to my room to see an overly cheery Nora (so the usual) and the always calm blank faced Ren.

I also decided to ignore the two Atlas soldiers who looked like they'd just witnessed a train on fire crashing into a fireworks factory at full speed.

Those poor, poor idiots. I thought in false sympathy while mentally shaking my head.

"Gasp! This whole time I thought you were in a coma, but you were actually in this 'La La Land' place! How dare you worry your queen like this! I demand one thousand petty arsonist charges or one destroyed warehouse as punishment for making me worry!"

I couldn't help but flinch slightly at the mention of exploding warehouses, the reminder of me and Weiss's impromptu escape from Torchwick's storage warehouse still not completely off my mind. Or ever really…

But thankfully Nora didn't seem to notice as she was still her bubbly self as she marched her way towards my bed with her hands behind her back. Ren, on the other hand, picked up on my discomfort almost immediately as he spoke up from behind Nora while slowly walking in.

"La La Land is just an expression for being unconscious Nora. Mr. Sullivan didn't go anywhere during his time in the hospital."

Nora turned towards Ren as she blew a raspberry and said,

"I knew that Renny! I was just joking around with Boomer here! After all what better way to cheer up our demo expert than with some explosive humor?"

I didn't laugh at Nora's Yang-worthy pun work though, because I was focused on her back. More specifically, the very familiar lightish-red piece of fabric she had been hiding behind her back as she came into the room.

"N-Nora…is that my shirt?" I said, with no tears building up in my eyes no matter what anyone says about it.

Nora looked at me in surprise before letting out an annoyed tsk as she grumbled out,

"Oh dang it Ren! You made me ruin the surprise!" Ren just held a small smile at Nora's accusation

"Sorry Nora," he said with no sorrow at all.

Nora growled slightly and made an 'I'm watching you' gesture to Ren, who still remained his normal passive self, before turning towards me with an excited glint in her eyes and a bright smile as she presented my shirt to me.

"Whelp, the surprise is ruined but who cares! Here ya go Bang-Bang! I managed to get my hands on them after they had to cut it off ya! After a couple of stitches and fabric replacement it was good as new!"

I could only stare at the pink shirt in my arms in awe, as I never thought I would be able to bask in its velvety smoothness ever again. It looked brand new, with no signs of any of the cuts or burns it had sustained during the dock battle. It was as if she had gone back in time and got the shirt before anything could have happened to it. The only reason I even knew it was the same shirt and not just a replacement was the subtle signs of stitch work, and the letters of Princess not being as glittery.

"H-how!?" I stuttered out with my tone overflowing with happiness, which caused Nora's own grin to seemingly brighten even more.

"Well that's pretty simple! You can't handle the amazingness that is explosives without knowing how to patch a few burns and tattered clothing after all!"

I…I guess that makes sense…for Nora at least, I thought, not even surprised that she had some seamstress skills.

"Heh heh heh, I'm glad you like it Dust-Prof, it took a while to find the right fabric since apparently that shirt is now only online order anymore, and as for the pants they-OH NO! Where are the pants?!" she shrieked in alarm.

"Pants? You mean my green track pants?" I asked in surprise.

"Yes! I patched those up to and I thought they were rolled up inside the shirt!" she bellowed, sounding very distressed.

"Uh, it's okay, I still have two pairs of the same kind back at Beacon," I tried to placate but she pouted.

"Not it's not alright! The pink shirt and the green pants with the trench coat are your thing! You can't have one without the other!"

"Nora calm down," Ren said stoically. "You wrapped the pants up in the trench coat, not the pink shirt."

"Oh, right!" she said bonking herself on the forehead. "Well go on and give it to him then."

"You fixed my coat too?"

"It actually wasn't that bad, just needed a bit of a wash to get the sour smell out," she admitted and looked back to Ren expectantly. "Well?"

"I didn't bring the coat up," he admitted plainly, and her eyes widened.

"What?! You left it in the cab?!" she yelped.

"No, I left it with that faunus nurse because I thought the shirt was the only-"

"Ren! You can't just leave out pieces of an ensemble!" she whined before glancing back at me. "Just a moment, BRB Dynamite!"

And with that, she rushed out the door at such a speed, that the two guards were thrown back by the force of her wake.

"…Okay then," I shrugged as I heard surprised shrieks and the sound of crashing equipment down the hallway. I then turned my attention back to one of the only few possessions I had in this world, thankful that it wasn't another casualty like me. I was so absorbed by it that I didn't even notice Ren had sat next to me until he spoke up

"She was really worried about you you know?" he said in his usual calm tone.

"Huh?" I asked, a bit startled by his sudden presence, though he didn't seem fazed by my lackluster response.

"Nora tried her best not to show it, but when you were injured you really scared her," he said sounding super serious and even a bit forlornly. "She tried to hide it behind her usual smiling, laughing self, but I've known her long enough to know something was bugging her."

"Really? But she seems…" I looked back down the hall to see the debris from her dash and Ren chuckled.

"That's just how she is when it comes to her friends, always trying to hide how she really feels to keep the good mood going. It's really the best thing about her," he said before his tone dropped again. "And also the thing that hurts her the most."

"I…" I trailed off, not knowing how to respond to his admission and worry.

"It's just how she is," he said in reassurance. "But since you've only known her for such a short time, I wanted you to know how she really felt."

I kind of figured that already years ago, I thought gravely. If watching far too much media taught me anything, it was that someone who is a really, really happy character is hiding something serious, dark and depressing. 'The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long,' and all that philosophy jazz.

"She, uh, she didn't get too bad did she?" I asked a tad worriedly and he stiffened his jaw.

"The first few days after the docks, she didn't leave her room…but when she finally let me in, I found her repairing your clothes and polishing your weapons."

"Oh right, I forgot she still had those," I said vaguely recalling her holding the Dust Gun and Fire Axe before I died.

"Yes, but she was insistent that you needed them all in good working order if you were to get back to your normal self," he said with a sad frown. "It at least gave her a goal to focus on, and allowed me to keep her from spiraling down and becoming too obsessed with it."

"I see," I said feeling even more guilty for causing such grief. "I'm sorry…for making her worry so much and in turn making you worry about her."

He looked at me with a stoic face before a slight grin lifted at the edge of his mouth.

"I always worry about her, but there's no need to apologize. It's not your fault this happened to you," he said in reassurance.

I beg to differ, I thought, knowing damn well my inclusion into the plot had brought this judgment down.

"And besides, now that you're actually awake and recovering, she'll be back to her old self in no time," he said with a faraway look in his eyes that just exhibited fondness.

"Yeah, that's good to hear too," I nodded.

Also, holy hell are the ReNora vibes strong! Guess that's one ship I don't need to worry about, I thought with internal cheer.

"I'm back!" Nora's voice suddenly cut through the air which startled me since we didn't even hear her return. "You two weren't saying weird things about me behind my back were you?"

"Weird things like what?" Ren inquired calmly.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know," she smirked. "I know you like to gossip to your heart's content Renny."

"Yup, that's me. A regular old gossip hen," he said with a roll of his eyes, but I could still see the little grin he held.

"Well at least you admit it," she giggled before looking back to me. "But anyway, here's your pants and jacket!" said setting them down at the foot of my bed.

"Wow, thanks Nora," I said genuinely touched. "I can't exactly put them on now, but I appreciate it."

"No problem. Oh, and about your gun and axe, I'm still keeping a hold of them. Don't worry, the cops don't suspect a thing!" she said with a loud "conspiratorial" whisper.

"Huh? Why would the cops know?" I asked perturbed.

"Exactly, they wouldn't. Can't have evidence at the scene of the crime if there is no evidence at the scene of the crime," she chirped. Apprehensively, I looked over at Ren who just shrugged.

"Her normal old self," he said plainly.

"Right…"

"So, according to that squirrel girl I had to finesse your wardrobe from, you're a big fan of Grimm and Bear It?" she interjected.

"Ugh, no I'm not! Damn it Snow!" I facepalmed as more lies were being spread about my enjoyment of trashy soap operas. Nora conveniently decided to ignore this correction, however.

"So since it's on right now, let's hang out and watch it since you can't go running, jumping, or anything just yet," she declared, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV before I had a chance to stop her.

"Nora, I don't think he-" Ren started but she shushed him.

"Keep it down Ren, this episode was promising answers."

"Every episode promises that and all they do is make you ask even more questions and confuse you on how this drama logic works!" I complained but she only increased the volume in response.

Damn it! My visitations were supposed to be my reprieve from this! I grumbled mentally as I was forced to watch the "drama" unfold. Suffice to say, the 'answers' were not satisfactory.

"Damn you Chad! After Serena brought you back to life last season you dare cheat on her with her mother's sister just so you could get that inheritance money after killing Ernesto! Ugh!" Nora cried out and threw the remote through the screen. I didn't mince words, she literally skewered the TV with the remote control, causing a very noticeable crash to erupt.

"I'm so mad! I'm giving up on this show!" she moaned and crossed her arms together tightly as I just stared in uncomprehendingly to the smoking box that used to be my television.

I gave a tired sigh before grumbling out,

"It's…it's okay. What's one more paycheck am I right? Heh heh heh…."

My laughter was hollow and dead, and only worsened when Ren started patting my back in sympathy.

"Sorry! Forgot I wasn't watching at home!" Nora apologized sheepishly.

I just sighed tiredly, internally cursing the writers for making Chad such a Chad and causing this unwarranted devastation.

But despite the wrecked flat screen, I was a much happier camper after I got my shirt back from Nora. After all the stress and actual panic attacks I had gone through those last couple of weeks thanks to a certain manipulative old asshole, having one of the few comforts I had returned to me good as new was just so gratifying.

And no, getting that emotional over a t-shirt is not weird. It is a perfectly healthy reaction for someone who owns nothing to their name and was getting blackmailed by his boss with the threat of probable death hanging over his head. If you all were in my shoes, you'd take any bit if happiness you could get too!

Even if that happiness is just a really comfortable shirt that I have no regrets for wearing no matter how many times Yang and Emerald teased me about it. I will not apologize for comfort damn it!

Anyway, I wish I could say the rest of their visit was just us chatting in the absence of TV, but I can't. Apparently, Nora could only sit and chat with someone for so long before causing chaos, which should have been obvious because this is Nora we're talking about.

Ten minutes left in their visit and Snow came in to check on me.

With a tray full of coffee.

Before Ren or I had a chance to react, the girl on a constant sugar high grabbed a cup and downed it.

"Bleh! This isn't cocoa!" she gagged.

"I never said it was," Snow said in shock. "And how have you not burnt your tongue?"

"Oh I did," she smiled before her pupils dilated. "Whoa…"

"I'm sorry in advance Mr. Sullivan," Ren monotoned, with his usual blank face not showing any of his actual emotions, before he stood up and lunged at Nora...

And then things kind of get hazy here.

I remember lots of blurred movements, crashing furniture, glass breaking, struggling grunts, and the serenade of high-pitched giggling, all of which seemed to take place in the blink of an eye.

Just as quickly as the madness began, it was gone, and my room looked like a warzone. The curtains were torn down, the guest chairs had been smashed, there were holes on the ceiling and walls, my two Atlas guards were passed out and piled on top of one another, and Nurse Snow was rocking back in forth in the fetal position in the corner near the head of my bed with traumatized eyes. At the center of it all stood a sheepish looking Ren, holding a passed-out Nora who was snoring like a bear as Dr. Grey stood irritated over them with his hands on his hips.

It was pure, unforgiving chaos. So, you know, typical Nora.

...I am not even surprised, I thought as I took it all in. I'm more shocked that I didn't get caught up in this whirlwind.

"By the way Grey, this is all her fault," I said pointing at Snow who gasped and looked at me with a betrayed look on her face.

"Is that so?" Grey said turning his steely gaze to her.

"Mr. Sullivan!" she whined as I sold her up the river. "All I did was come in with coffee!"

"And look what happened!" I pointed out and her ears wilted.

"Um…we'll pay for the damages sir," Ren said as he put Nora over his shoulder and the constantly masked doctor just sighed and pinched his eyes.

"We'll send the bill to your headmaster just…go."

And that's how Nora got a thirty-foot restraining order from that hospital if she herself wasn't a patient.

And because of that I was moved to a different room with a new TV while renovations took place. And in all honesty, I thought that that would be the highlight of my visits in terms of craziness, but I would be proven wrong two days later by the last person I expected to see.

}Line Break{

Two days later I was in the rehab center with Sun who was helping me do a very, very light core workout that wouldn't irritate my injuries. Since I could now walk unassisted, Sun had decided to work my other neglected muscles besides my arms and legs.

"So explain it to me again? This Nora girl isn't actually that tall?" he asked as he kneeled next to me.

"No, she's pretty short, she just packs a huge punch," I told him through clenched teeth as I did another sit up.

"Then why are all the staff calling her the Coffee Goliath?" he asked, and I just rolled my eyes.

"Because they like being dramatic," I said after an exhale.

To the surprise of no one, Nora's little stampede in my room had led to the hospital and even my worthless guards to refer to that day as "The Coffee Goliath Incident." I for one thought that that was a bit unfair because although my room was FUBAR, comparing Nora to those giant ass elephant looking Grimm wasn't accurate. She's far faster than those lumbering behemoths.

"I guess, but that destruction was pretty nuts," Sun nodded, having snuck a peak at my former room.

"Trust me Sun, if you ever meet Nora, you'll understand," I told him truthfully.

"I'm actually kind of afraid too," he said sounding disturbed and I smiled.

"Good, that's the right attitude for when you meet her. Which might be sooner than you think if you're out in the next few days."

"Heh, I guess so," he shrugged as if the prospect of leaving didn't really matter to him.

Thanks to his aura and general superhuman abilities, he was already looking like his old self. He was even back to wearing clothing that showed off his chest and abs, which were just as enviable as ever to my scrawny self. The bullet scars only seemed to emphasize his body builder physique while mine looked like I was stitched together by Frankenstein himself.

"Who even gave you back your own clothes?" I grunted in envy as I struggled to do another crunch.

"Heh, who says they gave them back?" he smirked.

"They won't even let me wear my shirt yet," I complained as I gasped and laid flat on the ground.

"Hey hey, that was only 19! One more!" he ordered.

"Ugh, I hate you so much," I groaned as I forced myself to do one more sit up.

"No you don't," he teased as he slapped me on the back to keep me from falling back to the ground. "And when I do leave, you better not slack off or I'll know."

"I won't, I won't," I panted, but he just gave me a disbelieving smile. "Oh piss off!"

After having a chuckle at my indignation, he helped me to my feet and we sat on the benches to have a drink of water.

"You're making some pretty good progress dude," he congratulated. "If you keep utilizing my techniques, you might just cut down your hospital stay by a week or two and be able to get back to your old job." I stopped with the water bottle at my lips at that and just sighed.

"Yeah, back to work, just what I want…"

I had resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to get involved more with the characters, but that didn't mean I had to like it, especially since I was being goaded into it. I had no doubt in my mind that once I set foot back in Beacon, I wouldn't even be able to use the bathroom without someone "watching over me."

That old bastard probably won't even let me leave the school! Just use some flimsy excuse like 'we need to keep you safe from your would-be assassin' or some bs like that. I thought bitterly as I glared at the ground in contempt.

"…I don't think the ground is going to blow up any time soon, unless you get laser vision out of the blue," Sun joked, and I stopped glaring at the ground.

"If only my life would be that easy," I shook my head and took a drink.

"So, what did the ground do to piss you off Joker?" he continued.

"It's welcomed me into its hard-unforgiving surface too many times, and I really don't appreciate it that much," I excused and he chuckled again.

"Well alright, just don't go making holes in it though. They might not have charged you for your room, but that Goodwitch lady might try to dock you for making tunnels."

I just grumbled incoherently at that as I had refused to give Sun the satisfaction of getting a retort from me.

I knew I should have never told him about my paycheck denials! Stupid cheeky monkey…

During our many bro-time chats, he had gotten more and more information out of me than I thought was possible. Of course the whole "I'm from another dimension" thing never got revealed, but he sure was annoyingly persistent and successful in getting me to open up. I wouldn't have called us best friends, but if he had been back on Earth, I think he would have gotten along well with me and the guys at the University. He had the right amount of smart-ass tendencies as we did.

Anyway, Sun just chuckled at my act of annoyance before he patted my shoulder a few times as he said happily,

"Aw relax man, you've only got three more weeks in here and then your home free! I doubt you'll be able to cause any kind of damage before then, especially with the Not-Goliath girl being banned."

To Sun's reassurance I just scoffed and grumbled out,

"Clearly you haven't seen just how much the universe likes to screw with me."

Sun just smiled good-naturedly at me for a few seconds before he suddenly gained a serious look, immediately putting me on edge since nothing that made the monkey boy serious could be good for my continued health at the time.

"But in all seriousness Joker, what's eating at ya? You've been grumpier than usual lately, so what's up?"

I couldn't help but inwardly groan at Sun's concern, as while I did appreciate it, I also very much did not want to deal with it. Actually, it wasn't so much that I didn't want to deal with it, it was more like I had no idea how to deal with it. You can't exactly just blurt out your boss has you trapped like a rat in a maze after all.

Ozpin had said not to tell any of the students about what we'd talked about, and Sun technically wasn't a student at Beacon, but I didn't think he'd appreciate such semantics. And since the man had eyes and ears everywhere, I couldn't exactly tell Sun in secret either. For all I knew, this whole hospital was bugged.

So while I did appreciate the concern from my bro, I couldn't get that off my chest to get some reassuring words, because that would have just ended in disaster for both of us. So I just went with a generic excuse.

"I'm just pissed off at my boss is all."

"Your boss?" he said in surprise. "Why? I mean, the dude was cool enough to let you keep your job after everything that happened."

"Yeah, but he's still kind of a dick. Makes you think that such an act doesn't come for free and you gotta owe him big time," I admitted, hoping that there was a bug so Ozpin could hear me badmouth him.

"Well he is paying for everything right? Don't you technically owe him for all this?"

"Yes Sun! Stop raining on my pity parade!" I chided and he chuckled again. Our little tit for tat was interrupted however when another pair of my atlas guards started making loud conversation outside the door.

"There! There it is again!"

"You're just imagining things Griffith," the other guard said dismissively.

"The hell I am! I can hear them scratching around up there! This whole hospital is infested with bats!"

"Why would it be bats? Wouldn't it make more sense if they were rats?"

"Why would bats be in the ceiling? They can't fly. Use your brain Coal."

"I think I'm the only one who is," he said with a sigh.

Sun just laughed and looked at me incredulously.

"Seriously, how many pairs of dumbasses do they have rotating to guard you?"

"I think it's at least 6 morons, but they keep pairing them up differently for nights and mornings," I said with a roll of my eyes as the idiots continued their banter.

"I'm telling you, crawl up there and see for yourself! If it's not bats, I'll eat my armor," Griffith insisted.

"You'd eat it anyway if you got ketchup on it you fat bastard," Coal insulted. "And I ain't going up there."

"Hah! And you call me a coward for being afraid of those flying rabies machines!"

"No dude, you can't just crawl around in the ceiling through the air ducts, they're not as big as they are in action movies."

"Wait, so Die Hard is bullshit?"

And then the two of them started arguing about various action movies.

"And these are the people in charge of protecting us from terrorists and monsters huh?" I said in disappointment.

"Well, if you can't hack it as a Hunter, I guess this is where you end up," Sun shrugged. "That or the cops."

"Oh, don't even speak to me about cops," I said with a frown remembering the two dickwad detectives that roughed me up.

"Right, sorry," he apologized.

"Nah it's alright," I shook my head before a rustling sound caught my ears. Looking up, I saw the ceiling panels shaking slightly. Catching my line of sight Sun looked up as well.

"Huh, maybe those idiots outside are right for once," he observed.

"I don't know, that sounded bigger than rats… or bats for that matter," I said as I watched the panels flex and shake as something moved above.

"Maybe it's a possum?" Sun guessed.

"If it is, then that begs the question on why this hospital hasn't been sued out the butt for not having a thorough pest service," I said with a frown as some sweat began to trickle down the back of my neck. "The, uh, the air vents ARE too tiny for people right?"

"It'd have to be a very tiny person," he said with a nod.

My breath caught in my throat as I thought of two specific tiny people that frightened me to no end. Neo, and the mystery girl that may or may not have been her.

Oh Shit! I thought in alarm as one of the ceiling panels moved to the side.

"Shit! Sun! She's found me!" I shrieked as I scrambled along the bench, until my back bumped into him.

"Huh? Who's-" he started before his eyes latched onto hole in the ceiling just as a head poked out of it.

"It's-Uh…" I went speechless as the head poking out didn't belong to either Neo…but to someone much much worse.

"There you are Ragamuffin!" Foxy said in triumphant glee while displaying her usual predatory grin with her pronounced fangs as her ears dangled out of the hole.

"Ragamuffin? Uhhh, what's up with the kid?" Sun asked sounding perplexed, but I couldn't answer him as all that came out of my mouth was a strangled whisper of a scream.

What is she doing here?! Why Here?! Why Now?! My mind raced as she nimbly leapt through the hole and onto her feet in front of me with the biggest shit eating grin I'd seen yet.

She was wearing relatively better clothing than the rags she had on at the warehouse fiasco with Yang, though the pink hoodie and black shorts still had their share of holes and stitches. But that was all just peripheral knowledge as my eyes were drawn to the heavy looking object inside her hoodie pocket.

Shit! She's come here to cap me! Why do my guards suck so much?! Where's Dr. Grey?!

I would later find out he had been reprimanding Snow for taking gifts from the perverted guard, so his hawkeyes were blind to the armed little faunus girl sneaking in. So yet another problem for me caused by Snow.

"I've been looking all over for you!" Foxy said menacingly while putting her hands on her hips and my face paled even more. "I couldn't find you anywhere after those cops let you and the cow out of the clink, and then you were off the radar for a whole month, leaving me alone and ignoring our agreement again!" I gulped as my eyes never left the hidden gun in her jacket.

"Al-Alright, alright Foxy, calm down! I have a very valid excuse-"

"And then," she interrupted and started advancing on me, "I hear word from those stupid White Fang idiots that The Creeper blew up a whole bunch of them at the docks. The same docks that were in the papers where a bunch of people got killed!"

I flinched at that as it felt like a cold knife was twisted in my gut.

"Th-That wasn't my fa-"

"And do you know what else they said? After all of that?!" she demanded, now standing at eye level to me atop the bench.

"I, uh…"

"They said that you died!" she growled with balled fists.

"Huh?" I gaped in surprise.

"They said that after all the fighting was over, you burst into flames surrounded by a bunch of girls and died!" she snarled.

The Fang thinks I'm dead? I thought in shock. I mean, I did die, but they don't know I got better? I was a tad elated by this news since I thought it meant one less problem to deal with, but that was only a minor setback as I found out later.

"How do you think that made me feel?!" she spit. "My personal servant catching fire and dying?!"

"I, uh, I don't-" I tried to answer but she continued.

"It made me pissed off is what!" she snapped. "So I had to resort to sneaking and swiping my goods again, and I had to run away from too many security guards!"

"W-Well-"

"But then, get this, I overheard someone last week talking about you as if you didn't kick the bucket! Care to guess who?" she threatened and I gulped.

"W-Was it Y-"

"It was The Cow!" she yelled while stomping their foot and causing me to flinch. "Of all the people to run across it was her and she was talking about you recovering to some other tramp. So hey, I decided to tail her and see what that was all about, and I see them going into a hospital. It got me thinking, 'Maybe my hobo isn't actually dead, but hiding.' And so I scoped this place out for a couple days trying to avoid that scary red headed man and here we are!"

Now I don't know if Snow slipped something into my meal or if my fear was so strong that it started to manifest into the real world, because at this point I swear to every deity that Foxy slowly gained a dark menacing aura of shadow that billowed around her as she looked me right in the eye.

She's the freaking Grimm Reaper! I thought as my blood ran cold and she pointed a finger right at me.

"Now apologize!" she ordered sternly.

"…Huh?"

"You skipped out on me again and then were stupid enough to attack the White Fang a second time, and you ended up in a coma if what that Cow was mooing about is true, so I want you to apologize!"

The little brat was one hundred percent serious and I was at a loss.

You broke in here to make me say sorry? A postcard couldn't have sufficed?

"I…I'm sorry?" I ventured and she pursed her lips.

"And what are you sorry for?" she insinuated.

"For almost dying?" I guessed and she raised an eyebrow demanding more. "And for skimping on our deal, which totally wasn't my fault Foxy I swear to God."

"Hmmph, I guess that's as good as I'm gonna get," she huffed before giving that bone chilling grin of hers. "But if you think saying you're sorry is going to be enough, you've got another thing coming Ragamuffin, and I know just the way you can make it up to me…"

And I paled even further as she reached into her hoodie pocket.

"Why are you going to kill me when you were angry when you thought I was dead?!" I shrieked and her hand stopped inside her pocket.

"What?" she asked sounding shocked but by that time I was scrambling around like the ground was slick with oil to get behind Sun who appeared to be in a stupor of confusion at the whole scenario.

"Protect me Monkey Bro!" I pleaded.

"Hey, why are they shouting in there?" Coal asked outside my door.

"Oh who gives a damn. Not our job to question how they exercise," Griffith dismissed.

How can you both be so incompetent! Can they not hear the evil little girl's voice?! I mentally cursed as Sun finally got into gear and did something…which was flicking her on the forehead in a lazy manner.

"Ow! Hey!" she barked as she rubbed where he'd thumped her.

"…That's it?" he said in perplexity before turning to me. "Am I missing something here? Who's this bratty lost child and why are you freaking out about her?"

"Because she's the evil girl I told you about that made me her slave before I went to Beacon!" I exclaimed.

"I told you not to call me evil you worthless-OW!" she bellowed as he flicked her forehead again.

"This is her? She's a little baby dude," he said in disbelief as he stood up from the bench. "Her head doesn't even reach past my stomach."

"I am not a baby! I'm thirt-Ow! Stop that!" she wailed as a red spot started to appear on her forehead.

"She's a lot more dangerous than she's letting on!" I defended. "Also, she's got a freaking gun!"

"That's right! Now stop poking me in the head you…annoying…jerk…" she trailed off as she finally took in Sun in all his glory and her jaw dropped.

"Dude, you took on a whole bunch of White Fang who were armed to the teeth, and yet this is what scares you?" he said pointing down to fox girl who seemed to be frozen like a deer in the headlights.

"Yeah, well…I was a lot skinnier back then and…" I didn't finish as I looked to Foxy who just continued gaping at Sun. Noticing my line of sight, he looked back down at my former boss and raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, you alright there kiddo?" he asked

"Six pack…" she muttered under her breath in awe before she shook her head and looked down with red cheeks. "I mean, yeah I'm fine. Just stop hitting me in the head!"

A few heartbeats of silence followed this before I lost it.

"Bwahahaha!" I started laughing hysterically and she glared at me.

"What are you laughing at?!" she demanded, as all the stress and absurdity of the whole thing had me in a fit of laughter.

"Your face, it's-ha ha ha-it's priceless!" I guffawed and pointed at her. "Quick Sun, flex more and she'll become frozen, hahahaha!" She flushed hard at that.

"Shut up you stupid Ragamuffin! Stop laughing at me! I said stop it, stop it damn it!" Foxy's angry growls fell on deaf ears as my laughter continued spill out of my mouth, effectively blocking out anything she said. Especially because she was making an effort not to look back at Sun again.

"Huh…I guess Joker can laugh that much. Crap, I owe Blake ten lien now…" Monkey boy muttered to himself.

"Ha ha ha, puberty's a bitch isn't it kid?" I insulted having lost all reason and she became even redder as her glare increased tenfold.

"I didn't-I-Shut up!" she whined, thoroughly embarrassed, which brought me some joy. "Ugh, fine! Keep laughing you jerk! See if I decide to do something nice for you next time!" she howled as she quickly reached into her pocket…and pulled out not a gun, but a paper bag with something cylindrical in it. She threw the thing at me, which I caught on reflex, noting that it was something soft.

"Heh heh heh, what's this?" I asked as I tried to get a hold of my giggling fit.

"Energy! Zombie War 5 comes out next month, and you need your strength to get it!" she huffed before she parkoured off from the bench to the wall and back up into the eschewed ceiling panel with ease. She then stuck her head back out of the hole and scowled at me heatedly.

"And don't go almost dying again or I'll give you a real reason to be in a hospital!" she spat before she closed the hole and we heard the sounds of her scurrying away.

"Listen! Right there! Can't you hear those bats scratching?!"

"All I hear is that weirdo laughing in there like an idiot."

My two guards bantered, and I rolled my eyes as I hiccupped a few times and got my breathing back under control.

"Oh wow. Sun if I'm ever out and about in the city again, I'm gonna make sure you're right next to me. I've finally found that brat's Kryptonite!" I said jubilantly and he just looked at me incredulously.

"Yeah, uh, whatever you say dude…but seriously that was just…weird."

"I know right? Breaking in here just to get me to say sorry and throwing whatever this "energy" is at me? Her mind works in mysterious ways."

"Yeah…also the fact that you just lost it there despite being afraid of her. Did your mind break again?" he asked in concern.

"No more than usual," I shrugged. "That laughter was more like stress relief because until know I thought that she had no weaknesses…though maybe outright insulting her like that wasn't such a good idea. She might bite me next time."

"…Your life is like, really whacky Joker," he said with a shake of his head. "But I said I owed you my life, so I'll make sure that little girl doesn't bully you anymore."

"The word is threaten. Don't let her threaten me again Sun," I corrected.

"Sure, whatever you say dude," he teased before looking at the object in my hands. "So, what's up with that?"

"Don't know. Knowing Foxy it's probably some plastic explosives or something," I said as I opened up the bag…and inside was a sub sandwich.

"Oh jackpot man, that smells delicious," Sun said enviously as I beheld the foot long.

"…She snuck in here to give me a sandwich? That's not her M.O.," I said confused. During my servitude to her she'd give me scraps now and again, but nothing so great that I would have the energy to try and tackle her again.

"She did say something about doing something nice for you," he pointed out. "And let me tell you, that looks a helluva lot better than the hospital food."

"It really does," I said as my mouth watered, smelling the spicy chicken, crisp lettuce and green peppers. "But then again, that's what she'd want me to think and take this opportunity to poison me."

"Why would she do that after all the trouble she took getting in?"

"I don't know, I'm not an evil mastermind," I shrugged.

"And besides, where is a kid who can't even buy violent videogames on her own gonna get poison?" he argued.

"You can buy rat poison practically anywhere," I countered and he rolled his eyes before quickly taking the sandwich from my hand and taking a bite.

"Hey!" I yelped in indignation.

"Oh, wow, I'm so poisoned, ouch, oooohhh," he said dramatically with his mouthful. "Oh wow this is pretty dang good."

"That was a pretty risky move though man. And a bit of dick move too. You don't just bite another man's sandwich without permission!" I scolded and he chuckled.

"Just think of it as me being your royal poison tester. And this one is clear," he said holding it back to me.

"Ew, I don't want that end, your teeth marks are on it," I gagged and he rolled his eyes and broke off that end, handing me the rest.

"For a guy who ate out of the literal trash, you sure are picky."

"Yeah, because I don't have to do that anymore," I grumbled back as I looked at Foxy's gift in earnest.

Well, if Sun's not bleeding out of the mouth then it's just food. So wait, was she trying to do something nice after all? I pondered and looked at her actions in a whole new light. Was that little brat actually worried about me? And if that's the case then did I just piss her off after she did something so nice? Eh, she still deserved it.

And with that I took a bite and it was good. Though no matter what Sun may say, I did not moan in bliss when I first took a bite. The sandwich was good, but it wasn't that good.

…

…

…

I'm not trying to deny the tastiness of a sandwich just to spite a little girl! Where the hell do you people get these ideas, I swear…

Ah whatever, moving on before you all give me a headache.

}Line Break{

So true to her word, Foxy didn't show up again, but whether that was because of Dr. Grey becoming aware of her break in, or because I embarrassed her over her admiration of abs chiseled by the gods themselves, I don't know. All I do know is that after that sandwich and having to switch back to the bland hospital food, I was itching even more to get checked out. If I didn't know better, I'd think that was her true goal. Make me remember how good things were outside my little sterile prison so that I could hurry up, get better and get her games again.

If that was the case, it worked because I started giving Sun exactly what he wanted and giving maximum effort in our rehab sessions. Well, maximum effort in relation to what Grey and Snow said I was allowed to do, but he appreciated it none the less.

So about 5 days later after an exhausting, grueling session, I was nearing the end of 'Grimm and Dust: What Kills the Fastest,' a nifty little book about specific Grimm who are weak to certain types of dust. You'd be surprised how alike Grimm and Pokémon are, except, you know, the whole eating your innards thing. Since I was basically being chained to Beacon now with no conceivable way to escape, I had to prepare for the Breach any which way I could. There was no way in hell I was dying because of some dumbass plan by the Witch of Remnant, at least not if I had anything to say about it.

Of course when it did happen most of my new-found knowledge was made useless, but we'll get to that.

Anyway, yada yada yada I was close to finishing my book, but I was having trouble focusing because another set of the Atlas rejects were bickering outside my door, which wasn't an uncommon event. Whichever pair it was on their rotation would yield conversations that ranged from the idiotic to the braindead. They'd get in arguments about time travel rules in movies, how they hated each other and their other squad mates, whether faunus girls were better than humans, how hungry they were, and other inane dribbling. I'd learned to tune them out for the most part, but that night's conversation actually sparked my interest.

"So she's coming pretty soon huh?" asked the nerdy guard.

"For the fifth time, yes! My answer isn't going to magically change every time you ask," asshole guard groaned.

"I know, I know, I'm just nervous. She's supposed to be a big deal," the nerd huffed.

"Oh that's just over hype from the nerds in RND," asshole dismissed.

"But they said she was active at the docks where the idiot inside was at, which is why they're sending her in the first place."

Idiot? Are they talking about me? And who's coming to see me? I wondered with a scowl as I listened more intently.

"Sure it might have been there, but most of that damage was from a bunch of Huntresses in Training, including that Coffee Goliath chick that kicked Frank and Teal's asses."

"Yeah, but still. Everyone's saying that she might be the future of Atlas," Nerd argued.

"Oh they'd like that wouldn't they? To give our jobs away to fucking machines? Typical."

Wait…Penny? I thought as I pieced together who they were talking about. Why are they sending Penny to talk to me?

"Dude, machines are the future, even if they rebel against their former human overlords, it's still the future."

"Well that future can piss off and die then. The only reason you're so excited is because you're a weeb who likes robot girls."

"That's not the only reason!"

"And seriously, what were the designers even thinking? If you're going to create a death machine, why make it look like a high school girl? I think someone in the lab has a fetish that they've been holding onto for years."

"…Yeah, you know, it's hard to argue with that one," the nerd relented.

Maybe because Penny also heard my last words, they're sending her to record more info on me. Maybe someone in Atlas wants to go over Ozpin's head?

I didn't have to much more time to wonder about such things, when the subject in question herself spoke up outside my door.

"Greetings Privates Chapel and Rusty."

"Ma'am!" the nerdy voice sounded off.

"Ugh, ma'am," the asshole sounded off less than enthusiastically.

"I am here to visit Chris Sullivan, alternatively known as my friend who is not a hobo," she said cheerfully.

"Very well ma'am…but who's she?"

"Another visitor since two are required per the hospital's request," Penny answered, and I wondered who it was. "Now, you two may take a break whilst we converse with him."

"Hot damn, ain't gonna say no to that," the asshole said over enthusiastically, and his hurried footsteps faded from my door.

"Uh, yes ma'am," the nerdy one said nervously before his footfalls echoed and disappeared.

"So, uh, can I have my scroll out now?" a timid voice asked, and my eyes widened.

"Of course," Penny answered sweetly.

Shit! It's the paparazzi! I internally yelped as I got up, straightened my bed, closed my rob more properly and sat in one of the guest chairs. If stalker bunny is gonna get footage, I am going to look presentable damn it!

No sooner had I sit down did the door open, revealing the familiar faces of Penny and Velvet. Or rather I should say the familiar face of Penny and the familiar back of a Scroll for Velvet.

"Yeah, I thought as much," I said as I glowered at the camera, causing Velvet to chuckle nervously.

"Heh heh, g-good afternoon Mr. Sullivan. I hope you don't mind."

"Wouldn't matter even if I did," I shrugged. "Record away, I know you've gotta Velvet."

"Thanks," she said though I did notice her wince at my jab.

"Greetings and salutations Not-Hobo Friend," Penny waved as they both entered the room proper.

"Hi Penny. Good to see you again," I said which caused her to beam.

"Excellent! Your mental faculties have not been damaged and you remembered our two previous meetings. I am glad that you consider it good to see me again Friend."

"I didn't have amnesia, and you're kind of hard to forget," I told her truthfully.

"Wonderful news," she said before gesturing the bunny girl. "I assume you are acquainted with another new friend here, Ms. Velvet Scarlatina?"

"Well yeah, she's my stal-er, I mean she's one of the nicer students at Beacon that totally doesn't invade my privacy," I corrected as said faunus girl glared and pouted at me, which was absolutely adorable.

I guess she doesn't want anyone else to know she films my every move huh? Which is kind of betrayed by her freaking blog.

Penny, oblivious to my change in tone, hummed in suspicion for a few seconds before she said happily with a nod,

"I see! It is nice know two of my friends are friends with each other! My social circle is greatly expanding."

"Right…" Velvet said at Penny's unusual speech.

"You know, I'm dying to know how the heck you two met and decided, of all things, to visit me," I said truthfully.

"Oh, right, well Yang and the others have talked about how you were awake, but that there was a two-visitor requirement for some reason. Coco was originally supposed to come with me, but she flaked out and went shopping," she said with a huff.

"That doesn't surprise me after our first 'meeting,'" I snarked, remembering my rough interrogation.

Also, looks like the fandom painting Coco as fashion crazy wasn't too far off after all. Still you'd think she'd stick around considering how I'm still in her 'mess up and I kill you' zone.

"Even still, I think she was just making excuses. I mean, a lot of people have been worried since they heard about your…accident." Her downtrodden tone when mentioning my kinda-death caused me to flinch slightly, more so about the worry it caused than the reminder of the incident.

Ah jeeze, please don't make that sad face rabbit girl, I feel like that alone would kill me, I thought guiltily, but luckily Penny lightened the mood.

"Do not worry Friend Ms. Velvet! Friend Chris Sullivan's vitals are perfectly stable, and aside from some mental trauma he is expected to make a full recovery!"

Well, she tried to lighten it in her own special way I guess, beaming such a bright smile that even I couldn't make a smartass remark about it only being mental trauma. Her enthusiasm was just too precious, bordering on Ruby levels of glee and I just couldn't hate on that.

…

Once again, I will not apologize for liking adorable things.

"Oh, I see…" Velvet said to my prognosis.

"Of course you do, both of your eyes are perfectly functional," Penny chirped and I let out a small chuckle. "But to continue Friend Velvet's story, I had been sent here by my father to check up on you and found her pouting near the front desk. Upon learning that she was also visiting, I decided to simplify things and kill two stones with one bird."

"It's kill two birds with one stone Penny," Velvet corrected and the robot girl paused for a moment as she processed that.

"Right, that does make more logical sense," she nodded and I laughed again.

"Well I guess that explains how this unlikely pair teamed up," I snarked before looking right at the camera on her Scroll. "But if you're hoping for some shenanigans, you're out of luck. Nora's been banned and all the crazy kind of went with her."

To my surprise Velvet quickly shook her head and glared at me again.

"Mr. Sullivan even I know that my blogs aren't as important as your safety," she pouted. "We all were really worried about you."

"And the video recording is what? For kicks?" I teased. The last thing I expected though was the sly smile she answered with.

"Why Mr. Sullivan, isn't it a bit bold to assume I'm recording you?" she insinuated.

"Uh…no?" I guessed confused by her words.

"I would have to agree, you do seem to be monitoring his actions on a device capable of video capture," Penny added.

"N-No, I was just making a j-Nevermind," she rolled her eyes in defeat before she turned the Scroll around to show us the screen. "Say hi everybody!"

What greeted us was a video of Velvet's face while off to the side a line of usernames was slowly scrolling up as response after response filled in.

Huh…I didn't think Remnant had streaming yet. That's actually kinda cool… Was my ever so eloquent thoughts at the sight of the screen, and as for what I said,

"Huh…neat."

Yeah, pretty much the same level of classiness.

Velvet merely chuckled at my dumbfounded look before she flipped the Scroll around again.

"With everyone so worried about you and the two-person limit in place, I thought it would be nice to stream everyone back at Beacon a video of you being back to almost perfect health. Reassuring everyone who won't have a chance to visit."

My mind briefly flashed to Ruby and her fear of hospitals at that, and I felt really touched.

"That's actually pretty clever bunny girl," I smirked. "Though I think you might be overestimating your audience. Some are probably just tuning in hoping I'll blow something up over a Chuckles bar or something."

Velvet's smile lowered slightly at that before she sheepishly said,

"Uh, well I guess saying everyone was a bit of a stretch. It's mostly just those freshmen you talk to…and pretty much all the Faunus students."

That last bit was said as more of a mumble than anything else, but I still managed to hear it decently well. That being said when I did hear it I couldn't stop my eyebrow from quirking in disbelief.

Seriously? I know I prank anyone that messes with them, but would that actually garner mass support? Then again it was one of the few things Ozpin listed off as confusing to him. And then there's Lilly…

"Oh! Friend Sullivan is popular with the Faunus of your school Ms. Velvet?" Penny asked curiously.

"Yep. He's one of the nicest humans on and off campus. He stops a lot of bullying," she answered without hesitation.

Which says a lot about everyone else, I thought bitterly. I didn't have to worry about Penny being a racist jerk, but it seemed like a lot of the Atlas guards were semi-prejudiced. Aside from Private Teal that is, but that guy was just a perverted horn-dog all around.

But yeah, if people are looking up to me, you know everyone else has screwed up big time.

"That is A-mazing! Friend-Not a Hobo must truly be a kind person if so many students respect him for teaching those bullies a lesson!"

…Welp it's finally happened. I've been blinded by cuteness, and here I thought Ruby would do me in.

Let's just say that Penny wields one of the most destructive smiles I've ever seen and leave it at that.

"He really is, even if he doesn't think so," Velvet agreed which brought me back.

"Yeah, just keep telling yourself that kids. And for all of you watching waiting for something big…hopefully this tides you over," I grinned as I flipped the bird.

"Mr. Sullivan!" Velvet chided, yet didn't put the camera down.

"What? I'm still recovering so that's all I can give them," I trolled, and she pouted again.

"I am confused. Usually that gesture is meant to anger another and yet you are smiling and laughing?" Penny asked tilting her head.

"It's crass humor. Simple, but effective," I explained, and she nodded.

"'Crass Humor'…Noted," she said as she flipped off the camera as well.

"Penny!" Velvet shrieked and I started to laugh.

"Am I not doing it right?" Penny asked, not lowering the bird.

"Nah, you're doing it perfectly," I encouraged and she smiled again.

Even when flipping off a wide audience, it still doesn't corrupt your sweet and innocent image, I thought, deeply impressed as we stressed Velvet out.

After a bit more instructions on crass humor, which I was sure would give those Atlas scientist a headache when she tried it on them later, I decided to ask a question that'd been on my mind since she walked through the door.

"Say Penny? Why did your, uh, Dad decide to send you here?"

"As I said, to check up on you," she answered truthfully. "After your accident, father noted quite a few irregularities in my daily functions and concluded that I was feeling grief. He theorized that visiting you would help solve this situation, and I believe it is working."

"Uhhh…what?" Velvet asked, confused by how Penny's explanation was phrased.

Oh right, I forgot that not everyone knows she's a kickass sentient robot that could level this entire building if she went haywire, I thought, keenly aware that we had a streaming audience.

"Was my explanation not sufficient enough?" Penny responded.

"No no, it was, I just don't think Velvet is used to such high-grade speech," I excused.

"Hey!"

"Ah, understood. Noted," Penny nodded as she filed away another lesson in her circuit board or whatever passed as her brain.

So yeah, Penny was feeling blue because a friend of hers was hurt and Atlas didn't account for such complex emotions yet, go figure. Well the whole rest of that conversation was just idle chit chat and stories told from Velvet about my past exploits, which Penny looked up immediately, much to my chagrin. But all in all, it went smoothly.

"I believe that our time here has been sufficient for now," Penny said abruptly and stood up. "It was pleasant to see you again Friend Chris Sullivan, I hope to see you at the Vytal Festival."

I held back a frown at that, knowing just how that would end up for her…or rather how it should go. I didn't know anymore with how Emerald acted.

"That, uh, that sounds nice," I said trying to sound optimistic and she smiled again.

"Yes it does," she nodded. "Now, I better round up your two guards before they get into any more trouble."

And with that, she exited the door, leaving me and Velvet alone.

"You know, for having just met her, I really like her. She's quirky, but in a good way," Velvet observed.

"Tell me about it," I nodded.

"Well anyway, I think I'll end the stream there everyone. Say goodbye Mr. Sullivan."

"Goodbye Mr. Sullivan," I snarked with a wave and she rolled her eyes good naturedly before turning off her device.

"Thanks again…and I mean it, it's really great to see you. Beacon just isn't the same without you in the halls," she smiled.

"Cardin's not picking on you again is he?" I asked and she shook her head.

"No, and he hasn't for a while. Coco and the others have been on top of that," she reassured.

"Good, just like it should be," I nodded. "And I guess I can admit that I did miss being everyone's superstar there for a bit."

She smiled again at that and turned to leave.

"Wait, Velvet? Can you hold up for a second?" I called out to her and she stopped and turned.

"Yes Mr. Sullivan?"

I hesitated for a moment, knowing what I was about to ask would be strange, but I powered through.

"Can you do something for me as a favor? Off the record, away from your blog and out of your audience's eyes?" I asked sincerely. She seemed taken aback at my words, but after a moment she nodded.

"Of course Mr. Sullivan. What do you need?"

"…You know Lilly, the dog faunus girl?" I inquired and she raised an eyebrow.

"Yes I know her, she was probably one of the ones watching the stream," she nodded.

"Okay…I want you to keep tabs on her for me," I told her plainly.

"You…want me to keep tabs on her?" she asked in shock.

"Yes," I nodded. "Keep a record of where she goes if she leaves campus, and if she meets with anybody, and don't let her know you're doing so. But only do this if it's not dangerous for you, I can't stress that enough."

"I, okay, but dangerous? Why do you think it'd be dangerous? What's going on with her?" she stammered, clearly overwhelmed by what I just asked of her.

I looked at the young girl who had well documented my more shameful moments in Remnant, feeling a tad guilty, but knowing she was the only one I could ask thanks to her skill set.

"Because I think she might be a member of the White Fang," I admitted, and her eyes went wide.

Throughout those weeks after waking up, I had had a ton of time to think. Even with Ozpin's overhanging threat, my curiosity about Cinder and Emerald's status, and my countless new plans I had drawn up, there was still another mystery I had pondered long and hard about.

My mysterious rescuer that night at the docks had never been far from my mind. She had kept Grunt from killing me and had been willing to lead me to safety…and I repaid her by putting a gun to her head.

After countless nights wondering why a random White Fang grunt would save my life, I determined that the only logical reason was because they knew me, and didn't want me dead, which in the Fang was pretty far and few between. But her eyes, canine ears and semblance had matched the girl I had first met when thawing the frozen table, and I couldn't overlook that.

"Lilly's in the White Fang?" Velvet gasped.

"I said I think she might be, but I don't know for sure," I corrected, and her jaw began to open and close, trying and failing to form sentences. "That's why I want you to find out for sure since I've got some time left in this place."

"B-B-But why do you think-"

"The night I had my 'accident' I was actually saved by someone with a shield semblance in a White Fang uniform. Someone who shared more than one similarity to your classmate" I admitted, and her mouth closed as her demeanor became serious.

"Shouldn't we tell Yang, Blake and the others?" she asked, and I shook my head.

"No, because I don't know the full story and none of those girls are what you call subtle."

Especially not Blake when it comes to the Fang, I thought.

"I don't know why she was on those docks that night, if she was just wearing the uniform as a disguise, if maybe she is a member, or even has a relative with the same skill set, I just don't know," I told her truthfully. "All I know is, that I would have died sooner that night without her help…and I'd like my facts straight before I confront her."

Velvet stared at me silently, comprehending my request and reasons before she finally asked,

"But why me? Why ask me to do this?"

"Because you're a journalist right?" I asked with a grin. "You could find a story where no one else could." My confidence in her ability seemed to sway her a bit more, but she still seemed unsure.

"And if I do find something…what are you going to do?"

"Thank her for one thing…and then apologize for how it all went down," I said, not even having to fake the shame I felt. She took a deep breath, held it, and then exhaled as she made up her mind.

"Alright, I'll do it," she said in determination and I smiled.

"Thanks Velvet. But again, I only want you to keep your distance and keep an eye out. If she goes to any place shady, don't you dare follow her because that should be suspicious enough. Just note where she went and leave, alright? I don't want you to get hurt for my sake."

"I am a lot tougher than I look Mr. Sullivan," she said cockily before her face became stoic. "But I understand. I won't take any unnecessary risks."

"And now you understand why I asked you instead of Yang," I smirked and she giggled. "I'll be back on campus in a couple more weeks, so have your evidence ready by then."

"I won't let you down Mr. Sullivan," she saluted.

"Thank you Velvet, I mean it," I said returning the salute.

"No problem. I do owe you one for all the recordings after all." And after giving me another smile, she exited the door, leaving me to my empty room and troubled thoughts.

A huge part of me felt guilt for having someone else get involved with something potentially dangerous, but I knew that soon I wouldn't have as much freedom to do something without Ozpin overhearing. Speaking of the old buzzard, I couldn't help but feel like I was acting like him by using another person as a chess piece to further my goals.

The thought made me feel dirty.

"If this ends up not even having anything to do with Lilly, I'm going to feel like such an asshole," I muttered in self-pity.

}Line Break{

A few days later, I still felt like a dirt bag, but I still had my rehabilitation to keep me focused. Since Sun only had so many days left, we had ratcheted up our routine even more, so I was plenty sore when I returned to my room. But the results of it all had been showing, as by then I only needed a cane to walk around where before I had to use a walker to get around. As I sat down on my bed and prepared a clean gown to go take a shower, I noticed something very odd. Specifically, a lack of idiotic babble.

I turned toward my door and wondered if my guards had fallen asleep or decided to take an impromptu break, when the deep voice of one Jason Lei Rose resounded through the air.

"At ease men, and please try to keep your uniforms up to code. Cheese Puff dust is not professional."

"Sir yes sir!" both guards sounded off, sounding like real soldiers, and my eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as the door opened.

And there he stood, James Ironwood, General of the Atlas army and one of the most stubborn blowhards' I've ever had to deal with. The show made him out to be a hardened veteran who did what he thought was necessary to keep the peace even if it the methods were extreme. Knowing him in person that was pretty accurate, although you had to multiply his personality by ten!

Because of him I would have to face one of the biggest problems of my life on Remnant, which we'll get to in good time. Believe me, we'll get to it!

"Ah, Mr. Sullivan! It's good to see that I didn't drop by at a bad time, I was a bit worried you would be taking some well needed rest for your recovery," he said as if he didn't come across me covered in sweat and stinking like a locker room. His words may have fooled anyone else, but I knew better. Just like Ozpin, the man probably had surveillance on me twenty-four seven since I woke up, despite his idiotic guards.

But of course, I didn't voice my thoughts about his deceptiveness since pissing off the leader of an entire army was not the smartest thing to do, so instead I just plastered on a fake confused look as I said,

"Uh, no I'm not doing anything right now. I was about to shower but I can wait if I've got visitors. But uh, not to be rude, but who are you?"

Ironwood gave one of those politician chuckles before he sat down on one of the guest chairs next to my bed.

"Where are my manners, my name is James Ironwood. I'm the general of the Atlas army, though I'm sure Ozpin already mentioned me during your chat with him a few weeks ago."

I managed to stop myself from flinching at the reminder of my interrogation.

Though I guess it's nice to see we aren't beating around the bush General. Why don't you just threaten my life casually as well and get it over with?

"Oh right, the old man did mention you. You're the guy who assigned the guard units that never shut up?" In a blink and you'll miss it moment, his eye twitched as he coughed in his fist.

"Yes, yes that's correct, though I'm sad that you have that view of my men. All 8 of them actually have quite the distinguished service record, despite their lack of professionalism. But in that regard, they don't accurately represent the Atlas army as a whole."

Considering how half your army is robots I'm inclined to believe that, if only because those idiots can't get hacked and turned into murder machines. I thought darkly remembering the events during Volume III, but I quickly shook those thoughts off.

"No problem there General," I said with a smile that I hoped wasn't too strained. "I trust the rest of your men are far more competent than those nimrods. Though I have to ask, what brings you to visit me? I assume Ozpin already told you everything about our…talk."

That last word was spat out with enough tension that I'm surprised the word itself didn't leave my mouth and physically bend reality.

"Actually, Ozpin's talk with you is exactly why I'm here." He said with his tone dripping with seriousness. "While he himself is fine with letting you walk about with minimum protection and surveillance, I am not. If I'm being frank, I believe Ozpin's decision is by far one of the worst he's made in the time I've known him."

Okay…I do not like where this is going. I thought with suspicion as the atmosphere started to get noticeably tenser.

"So, I have decided to rectify the situation. Seeing as how you are in-between both sides of this fight, I find it necessary to make sure you stay on our side and not the Queen's. Ozpin may see this as going too far, but what I plan to do will ensure your safety as well as your loyalty."

His tone was setting off far too many warning bells in my head for my liking, and I felt helpless in front of him. He had an army, and I still couldn't walk properly without a cane, not good odds when you're facing a man who can have you locked up for life without a second thought.

You slimy Winter Soldier rip-off! What a big man you are throwing your weight around someone as busted as me! I thought angrily, but then his next words stopped me in my tracks.

"Though I am a reasonable man, and it is my understanding that you are probably not involved in this willingly. So it would only be fair to make you an offer instead of just forcing it on you."

At that I couldn't help but blink owlishly.

"An offer? What do you mean?" I asked and he smiled as though he had just hooked a big fish.

"I understand that you're worried about your safety, both from the Other Side and the White Fang, and I'm worried that you might be 'persuaded' to give information to either of them for any number of reasons," he said plainly. "So I have come up with an offer that shall ease both our worries."

Ironwood stopped for a moment to make sure I was paying attention before he said,

"I have a Specialist at my command who would be perfect in being a bodyguard of sorts to you. She is skilled in blending into crowds and excels in combat, so you won't need to worry if you were to get into another altercation. She is loyal and aware of some of the details behind our war, and I trust her to see to your safety without fault," he pitched like a skilled car salesman.

"A bodyguard?" I asked hesitantly as the hair on the back of my neck began to stand on end.

Please tell me you're not talking about who I think you're talking about.

"Indeed, and she is the best of the best and completely professional, I promise you that. I believe you already know her sister actually," he said with his politician's smile.

I fucking knew it!

"In fact it's because of your positive interactions with her sister that she herself requested this position. Her name is Winter Sch-"

"Nope."

He paused, clearly bewildered at my interruption.

"Come again?" he asked.

"I said nope, because that doesn't sound…Yeah, nope," I stumbled over my words and the false smile left his lips.

…

…

…

Yeah, no kidding that was a bad move. And that was only the start of the conversation that got me on his shit-list!

}Episode End{

Ah…so many feels. So many people pilling on Chris's guilt unintentionally… And now Ironwood being…well Ironwood. Through maybe if Chris is lucky Ironwood won't reach Volume VII levels of Ironwoodness after shutting him down so quick. I mean what are the odds of that happening?

…

*evil smile*

Also, Volume VII was something huh folks? I mean putting the stupidity of a certain duo aside we had some decent stuff from it. Especially a certain character showing up made me happy as hell, but I'll reframe from saying anything for those who haven't seen it yet. Plus that after credits scene…and they're all boned. Boned hard.

Anyway! I'm sure your all curious about whether I'm doing a .5 chapter or not…well let's just say thank god for reviews. You see my dumbass self didn't realize that I had never actually published the damn poll. I made it sure, but I never actually had it show up on my profile! I honestly just figured that out as I'm typing this, and man do I feel like a big idiot.

I'm so sorry for all those who wanted to vote for my idiocy, but like I said thank you reviews and pms since a lot of you really want to see this .5 chap. So next chapter will be a Omake starring all your favorite characters feeling angsty and depressed over Chris's kinda death!

…

You folks really like seeing fictional characters depressed huh?

Welp, that's enough yapping from me! Time for my favorite activity of the day! Let's call all you guys out shall we?

Captaindrake123: Confused Ozpin is confused, and angsty Yang is angsty. Gland to see the Emerald and Cinder dynamic catching your interest. How much does canon apply indeed…Still glad you enjoyed that Goodwich bit. I originally planned on it being Ozpin to reflect his talk with Ruby after Weiss blew up at her, but I wanted the blonde teach to shine some more since I haven't given her a lot of attention lately.

Kevin Bakeland: I'm glad you're enjoying the story and I hope this chap met your expectations!

Ubivashka-kun: You may not put down your gun, as the next chap has arrived!

Thomas Knightshade: College debt, death, I mean really what's the difference? As for this story being an AU (for that reason at least), well you'll just have to wait a see huh *evil smirk*. Also that Semblance is funny as hell, and I can just image Qrow and Chris debating over whose Semblance screws over who more. Also yay .5 chap will be a thing!

Bomberguy789: Funny how things work out huh buddy? As for Oz, I again play the whole 'living for thousand upon thousand of years' card. Guy would take any small amount of coincidence and have suspicion for it. After all when your at war there's no such thing as coincidence, only attacks and espionage. Who knows what Professor Peach is doing, I certainly don't *not-so innocent smile*. And as far as the face behind the arrow goes, Chris is determined that its Cinder no matter what, through who knows if he's right. Even now he has no clue thanks to Ozzy.

GuestA: Its gonna happen, hype!

GuestB: Nice quote, and I can actually see Chris screaming that as he goes out. Through a bomb vest wouldn't be his style. If he's going out he's going out with a much, much bigger bang.

Stryker: As much as the odds of this becoming a real spinoff, aside from making a sfm or something based on one of the scenes, it's nice to know I'd have an audience for it. Still, I think we need TVtropes page before we start planning any animation.

VirusChris: God I love long reviews, and I mean that with no sarcasm. Yet there's so much that I want to address, but this chaps already as long as it is. So to sum things up thanks for liking the show so far, and Chris being a ladies man is a bit of a stretch…probably. I hope you liked the interactions in this chap, and look forward to the .5 chap were all those near death reactions will be!

TruemooV: Suffer no longer! Why? BECAUSE THE CHAPTER IS HERE!

TM Calypso: I'm glad your enjoying the character's interactions, which are honestly my favorite part of any fanfic. Just seeing characters grow and connect with each other is just so interesting to see ya know. I can't wait to hear your opinion on the interactions in this chap, and of the .5 chaps interactions when we get there!

Houseoftards: Thankfully Chris has grown somewhat since his early days in Remnant, though not because he wanted to. He'll only keep growing and eventually he'll have to accept the reality of his situation…probably.

Majesticleviathan: Gasp! It's true, my name isn't LightDusk16, in reality its actually…LightDusk13! …in all seriousness nice theories there, but of course I won't say nothing about if their right or not. One of them has certainly given me some ideas through, so who knows now…*cryptic smile that would put Ozpin to shame*

DarkFox17: Glad to see you're still enjoying the fic and Chris is pretty screwed isn't he? With what this chapter showed of Emerald he will only get more confused no doubt, but isn't that just more fun for us? Also .5 is a go so yay!

winddaoist: All in due time my friend, all in due time *evil laughter*

Kevin: .5 will be happening, and who knows who will be in it? I hope you enjoy it when it does come though!

Prestige Productions: Welp there's some pride I never thought I'd have, and yeah Ozpin is one scary bastard when you get on his bad side…or confuse him to no end. One of the two.

point: Once again I can't help but imagine this as the RWBY Chibi versions of the characters talking, and once again it is hilarious to picture it!

Oblivious IJ: Could fate be working its conniving fingers to bring this to be? Who knows, I'm just glad your enjoying the fic!

.5: Human's needs for self-preservation can be pretty annoying, plus it would mean nothing if Ozpin didn't believe him. Plus telling Oz could change what happens thanks to the Butterfly Effect, so Chris is kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place here.

GuestC(B?): I wouldn't really call my fic original since like you said there's dozens of other 'OC dumped to Remnant' stories on the site, but I'm happy to hear you think that highly of it! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

G119: So I read that in the Solider's voice from Team Fortress 2, and now I can't stop laughing even through it isn't remotely funny. I'll have to look that video up later for some context huh?

GuestD: True, Ozpin really needs to realize the whole 'mysterious wizard in a tower' trope isn't going to do him any favors. Just don't bite his head off, we kinda don't want some poor farm kid to be dragged into being Oz 2.0 (5.0?) now do we?

Ah, nothing makes my day better then responding to your reviews…well that and reading your reviews. Plus some Animal Crossing NH relaxation time, but that's besides the point!

As per usual feel free to leave ideas for future jokes or Omakes! I can never get enough inspiration and as I've made pretty obvious throughout my AN's I love reading your reviews!

All logic used in this fic is completely head-canon, especially in relation to dust and the physics behind it. If you don't agree then that's okay, its just how I see things.

Its been a month since our last chap and in that time our follow count has reached a whopping 843! I can practically see the 1k mark, we're almost there guys and yes I will most likely cry actual tears of happiness when that happens. As for our favorites, we've jumped up all the way to 631! I really can't thank you all enough for supporting this story so much and helping it reach where it stands today! I honestly hope that as I continue to write I can make even more people laugh and happy (with some tinge of sadness *evil smirk*) as we go on! Now all we need is a TVtropes page and I might actually faint from pure joy!

This has been LightDusk16, signing off!