"Are you sure this is gonna work out?"
"Oh yeah, definitely," Kuroo nodded wisely.
"Mhm," Bokuto crossed his arms.
Oikawa looked up at both of them. It's been a while since they'd all met up here at Oikawa's place to try and solve his little problem. However, the clock on the wall just above Kuroo's head had just struck 2 am and the entirety of their lengthy brainstorming led them up to this.
"So," he took a deep breath, "what you're saying is that all I need to do is make out with some guy, you will then take a picture of us, sneakily, as if it were taken on some kind of a party, and send it to Hanamaki, who will then proceed to show it to Mattsun, and then, consequently, the whole team will know about it because the two of them are, with all due respect, massive snitches."
Bokuto grinned and motioned for him to continue. "Exactly."
Oikawa carefully side-eyed him. "And then, after it naturally comes to Iwaizumi, he will, I quote, be so jealous that he just won't be able to resist the urge to ask me out."
"I couldn't have said it better myself," Kuroo took a sip of his pomegranate tea.
"That is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever hear-" Akaashi's voice came through Bokuto's phone speakers but Kuroo quickly ended the call.
"Don't listen to him, he's just unimaginative. I can assure you this will work. We all know Iwaizumi - he's straightforward and emotional, as soon as he sees that picture he will go all feral on you."
Oikawa scrunched up his face in cringe. "Jesus Christ, Kuroo-"
"No but he's right," Bokuto chirped in. "I would probably react the same."
"Yeah sure, after you'd spend a week and a half in your emo mode, all depressed and quoting LaLaLand or something," Kuroo sneered, barely dodging a calculator Bokuto threw at him.
Oikawa pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm serious, idiots. This is important to me and I really don't wanna screw it up. I think Akaashi is right."
"Realistically speaking, Akaashi is in the minority. He's the only one who doesn't like the idea with the picture, whereas Bokuto and me both think that it's a fantastic plan. And, objectively speaking, that makes the two of us. See, two against one."
"Yeah but the difference between you two and Akaashi is that Akaashi's single eyebrow has more functioning braincells than the two of you ever did."
It was now Oikawa's turn to dodge the calculator.
"I don't wanna make things weird. I should just ask him out like a normal person. And I would if I were sure that he's into guys!"
"What, he never really specified anything?"
Oikawa shrugged. "I mean I never asked but he did date a girl once in middle school"
"Oh", Bokuto slouched, disappointed.
"I don't know man, anyone who willingly puts up with you their whole life is either insane or gay so I'd say your chancese are pretty high," Kuroo stretched his arms behind his head. "It's getting late, we should put our plan into action."
Oikawa fidgeted with the end of his shirt. "I don't know..."
"Listen," Bokuto stood up, "this is a win-win situation. If Iwaizumi likes you, he will show it and you'll know it's safe to ask him out. If not, you get to kiss a hot guy for a while. "
"Great, except there are thousands of ways that this could go wrong, and the guy I get to kiss is Kuroo."
"Wait what?" Kuroo's head shot up.
"What do you mean 'wait what'?"
"I never meant to make out with you?"
"Wait you didn't?" Bokuto's confused look met Kuroo's.
"What the hell you two, why did both of you just assume that I'll be the one who does the making out?!"
"Because you're the biggest hoe here, obviously," Oikawa lifted an eyebrow.
"You disgust me, I have a reputation to keep, you know."
"Who's gonna do it then?" Bokuto asked.
Kuroo grinned. "There is only one person who is horny enough to come to a stranger's house at 2 am just to get a free make-out session."
The doorbell rang.
Oikawa's phone almost flew out of his hands.
"There he is," Kuroo glanced lazily at the clock. "It took him exactly eight minutes to get here."
"Damn, he's good," Bokuto admitted.
I don't like this, Oikawa wiped his palms on his trousers. He stumbled trying to get to the door, but then strategically decided to let Kuroo in front of him. His heart was beating faster than ever and his knees were almost trembling. He clicked his tongue, clearly frustrated. What was wrong with him? Why was he this nervous? It's not like he never hooked up with a guy before, let alone kissed one. He had to get it together. He was Oikawa Tooru, undoubtedly the prettiest setter in Japan, and he certainly wasn't going to hide like a little bitch because of some irrelevant making out.
The door swung open.
A blond boy greeted them with a toothy grin. "Kuroo, you sexy motherfucker."
"Terushima," Kuroo replied just as amused.
The blond entered the house with his hands in his pockets, nonchalantly as if he owned the place. The air around him was thick with confidence and Oikawa couldn't yet figure out if it was attractive or if he was a pompous dickhead.
"You must be Oikawa."
Oikawa nearly jumped. He put on an unimpressed face and put on a painfully fake smile. He was not going to be a flustered mess around this overly-confidet bleached twat. "Nice to meet you."
Kuroo grabbed them by their shirts while letting out an irritated sigh and led them both into the living room. Bokuto waved smugly from the sofa while Kuroo sat Terushima down and started telling him about their plan. Oikawa couldn't help but feel anxious. He had a gut feeling that he was going to deeply regret this. But he kept his mout shut and decided to protest in silence by playing with the hem of his shirt. Get ahold of yourself, Oikawa. This is for the greater good.
"Alright, loverboys, get up. Let's get this going."
Oikawa awkwardly watched Kuroo and Bokuto as they wandered around his house in search for the best filming spot. He purposely continued to ignore the blond's curious look.
"So... How do you and Kuroo know each other?" Terushima asked.
"We played against each other a couple of times," he mumbled, clenching his jaw. To be honest, the Terushima guy didn't even seem that bad. Aside from his annoying cocky smile, he looked genuinely nice and interested in him.
"Cool."
Uneasy silence ensued and Oikawa almost felt guilty for not asking anything back.
"You don't really look like you wanna do this, huh," Terushima let out an awkward laugh.
"How'd you know," he huffed sarcastically. He realized his response sounded bitter and he immediately mentally slapped himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to come out as rude."
"No worries."
Before they could find themselves in yet another weird silence, Bokuto's head popped out from behind the living room door. "We're all set. Come here."
In one confusing moment, Oikawa found himself backed up against the dining room wall with Terushima in front of him and, he was now certain, two biggest idiots ever to walk this Earth behind the corner, rotating the phone and trying to find the best angle to take the picture. Oikawa's heart was now beating rapidly. His body was in full panic mode; his chest rising and falling rapidly and his arms slightly shaking He couldn't tell if Terushima was feeling the same. The blond seemed to avoid his gaze, but at the same time he was looking around with utter boredom, a shadow of a smirk constantly grazing his lips. I fucking hate confident people.
"Okay, yes, that is perfect. Terushima, if you could turn around a bit so we can see your face," Bokuto gave them a thumbs up. "Aand, cut!"
"Please stop making it seem like we're shooting porn."
"Stop beating around the bush and just kiss each other."
Oikawa nervously looked at Terushima. The latter looked as if he could burst out laughing any second. He started leaning in and-
"WAIT NO," Kuroo yelled with a panicked expression.
Oikawa literally jumped in place. "What the hell, Kuroo?"
"You didn't say no homo," the rooster-head snickered.
Terushima laughed, but Oikawa was sure that at that very moment he could kill a man. His miserable expression must've been obvious because Bokuto lightly slapped Kuroo and motioned with his hand to get back to work.
"Don't be a jackass. Let's just get this over with."
And with those words, without a warning, Terushima cupped Oikawa's face and pressed their lips together. He held onto Terushima's hand and carefully returned the kiss. He could feel the blond boy easing into him and closing the distance between them even more. The next thing Oikawa knew was that there was a tongue being shoved in his mouth. What a dickhead.
That's when the camera sounds started.
As if the situation wasn't absurd enough, it appeared someone's phone volume was set to loudest possible.
Kuroo sneezed. Twice.
Oikawa had never felt more uncomfortable. Silently cursing his condemned bloodline, he pushed Terushima away. "I'm sorry, but this is fucking ridiculous."
"Was it that bad?" Terushima's brows furrowed into a playful expression.
"No, but I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing how a tongue piercing feels against the back of my throat."
"Come here, let's see the photos," Bokuto called and the four boys gathered around the phone screen. He swiped as Kuroo absent-mindedly mumbled something to himself, his eyes squinting at the pictures. Oikawa couldn't help but cringe. The sight of himself making out with someone felt weird, as if he was somehow intruding his own privacy.
"That one," Kuroo abruptly stopped Bokuto's hand. "That one is perfect."
Oikawa looked at the photo. Kuroo was right, the picture was taken sloppily; half of it was blurry as if it was taken in a rush, an indistinguishable wall covered most of the picture, and most importantly it was nearly impossible to tell where it was taken. Oikawa was actually impressed. If he'd seen the photo elsewhere he wouldn't doubt its credibility.
"What do you guys think?"
"I dunno. We look pretty good, I guess."
"Yeah, I think it will work," Oikawa started tapping his fingers, slowly getting lost in his thoughts again. Was there really a chance they will pull this off succesfully? Could Kuroo and Bokuto's dumb plan actually work? What if Iwaizumi has feelings for him? Maybe he would then try to figure something out and ask him on a date? He was probably being stupid all over again, but what if he gets lucky? For all he knew Bokuto was right - he had nothing to lose. "No, I think it will definitely work. Send it to Hanamaki."
Bokuto gave Kuroo a sly high-five and tapped the little 'share' button. He scrolled down to Hanamaki's contact and clicked it, triumphantly.
"Awesome, now let me see the picture again," Kuroo reached out and tried to steal the phone.
"No wait, I haven't sent it yet-"
Bokuto tried to stop him but the taller boy tackled him to the floor. Kuroo's arm stretched out in an attempt to seize the phone, but Bokuto was faster. He pushed him back and desperately tried to hit 'send', and he would've made it if a pair of hands hadn't grabbed him by the back of his shirt. The phone slipped out of his hands and Kuroo hastily threw himself trying to catch it mid air, but failed. The device fell through his fingers, right into Bokuto's outstreched arms. He quickly sent the picture and tossed the phone to his friend.
"There, moron. I could have accidentaly sent it to someone else."
Kuroo grinned. He was about to exit the texting app, when suddenly, he freezed. He stared dumbfounded at something on the screen and Oikawa could feel the panic rising.
"What? What are you looking at?"
"Uh, Hanamaki isn't really the only person he sent the picture to."
"Give me that!" he snatched the phone from Kuroo's hands. Bokuto and Terushima peeked at the screen from behind him. They both gasped as Kuroo's lips curled up in a little evil smile. Oikawa's expression was entirely blank. He stared at the screen completely emotionless, not a single wrinkle disrupting his calm figure.
Unfortunately, he was in fact not calm. On the inside, he could feel each and every single one of his internal organs spontaneously combusting.
He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. He then opened them again, as if the situation would have mercy on him and adjust to a more pleasant setting, but the second name was still there.
Ushijima Wakatoshi.