Chapter 9: Send in the Clowns

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all your messages and reviews! This chapter's book is by Julie Mulhern.

My rage for Daniel was about to get the better of me, but the second I stepped into our usual meeting room and my eyes met Mr. J's, all of those thoughts vanished.

I could get lost in those blue eyes forever. They held so much depth and emotion that my heart seemed to skip a beat.

He chuckled and I smiled.

„Dr. Quinzel, how nice of you to join us."

My smile vanished when I heard the bored tone that didn't belong to Mr J.

Joane Leland, tall, slim, perfectly put together, her hair flawless, her nails perfect was sitting in my spot.

„What are you doing here?"

„Didn't Dr. Arkham explain?" She said with the kind of smile that tired teachers give their slowest students while explaining something.

„No." I sat down beside her and looked towards the Joker.

He was watching the two of us with a gentle smile on his face.

"As it turns out." His voice was husky as if he was having trouble catching his breath. I know I was. "Dr. Leland will be joining us in our little meetings!"

"What?!" I snapped, unable to keep it together which he noticed with a chuckle.

She was flustered due to my loud voice, but I couldn't care less. She hid her astonishment and said: "How about we talk about this calmly after the session?"

"Actually." Mr. J giggled. "We have a pretty strict honesty code in our sessions, Doc." He swayed back and forth in his straight-jacket. "Whatever you need to talk about, you can do it in front of little old me."

Normally I would have agreed with him. Told her to go ahead and talk in front of him. But there was a certain look in her eyes. A stern gaze that told me I was tiptoeing on dangerous territory.

"Sure." I said and turned back to my, well our, patient.

"As I have already explained to the Joker, I will be conducting these interviews and you, Miss Quinzel, the intern, will be taking notes."

I'll kill ya, bitch. I thought as a fiery rage wept through me. I'll end ya right here and now.

Once again, my inner voice reminded me of Hailey

I looked at my patient who had a small smile on his face. Not mocking, but encouraging and I realized he had understood. He and I both had to play this right otherwise we wouldn't be able to see each other any more.

"Alright, Joker." She began. "I would like to ask you a question–"

"Dr. Quinzel usually lets me tell a joke." He interrupted and sounded bored.

She actually squirmed in her seat. "Fine, how about a joke then?"

He beamed and leaned forward, his face already exploding into a satisfied grin:

„A black man and a girl are on a date–"

„Mr. J." I interrupted him with a smile. "How about a different one?"

Lets not tell some racist joke in front of this woman of colour, I thought, let's not give her any more ammunition against you.

"Ok." He agreed. "What do you call a black man flying a plane?"

I sighed and Dr. Leland flinched beside me.

"I don't know." She said in a pressed tone. "What?"

"A pilot, you racist!" He cackled and I couldn't help it, I had to laugh.

"Very clever, Joker." She muttered. "Can we start the session now?"

"Sure, Doc." He shot me a grin and I tried to stifle my giggle.

"You left Arkham Asylum last night. We know this for a fact. Would you care to tell us where you went?"

"Sure." He was swaying again and I already knew he was going to lie before he opened his mouth. "I went to watch my girl sleep, because that's the only way I can be sure she's safe from all the things that go bump in the night."

Dr. Leland gasped in suspense and shot me a look to say I should be writing this fairytale down.

"Who is this girl?"

"Isabella Swan." He said in a dreamily tone and I can't stop my giggle from escaping.

Dr. Leland groaned loudly. "Joker!"

"Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?" He asked me, grinning in a cheeky, proud way. "I'm more Team Edward myself, I like the serial killer vibes he has going on."

Happy, I thought as I smiled back. He looks happier than I've ever seen him before.

The doctor beside me was fuming I could practically feel the tension coming of her in waves.

"Mr. J." I say trying unsuccessfully to hide my smile. "Where were you last night?"

"Hogwarts." He said without missing a beat and I had to look away so I wouldn't laugh. But I didn't want to look away.

"Joker." Dr. Leland said in a ice cold tone that took the smile off my face instantly. "Answer this question honestly or Miss Quinzel and I will leave and not return until tomorrow, do you understand?"

He rolled his eyes and I could tell what he was thinking.

She can't even take a joke or two!

"Last night", he began and his voice took on a serious, gentle tone. "I was at a party. A masquerade party actually." He paused and I held my breath, wondering what he was doing. "There were a lot of people there, in masks similar to mine." He didn't take his eyes of me and I knew he could read the vulnerability in my face. "But doctors, respectively this question is the wrong one. It's boring down to the core. Where was I? It's not about the where. It's about the why. Why was I last night, why am I today and why will I be forever?" He paused and swallowed as if he was nervous, as if his heart was about to jump out of his chest because it was beating so fast. At least that's how I felt. "Last night I was at a party. A masquerade party actually." Dr. Leland tensed beside me because she thought he was spouting nonsense, just repeating himself, she didn't understand the beauty of the repetition, the beauty of his words. "And there was a girl." His face lit up in a smile. My heart was beating so fast I felt dizzy. "The prettiest girl I've ever seen and when I saw her, everything fell into place. You see." Finally he takes his gaze away from me, from my burning cheeks, my almost-teary eyes. "I had the opportunity to kill her." He barely moved his head to the side. "Simple, one shot, one stab, heck I could have snapped her delicate little neck with my bare hands." His voice hitched in excitement. "But I didn't. I kissed her instead." He smiled at the memory and I felt myself melt right there on the spot just as I had melted in his arms last night. "And now I have found my reason, my goal, the answer to the everlasting question of why. The answer is her." He nodded as if he was admitting this to himself just as much as he was admitting it to me. I knew then why he had come back. I understood that as a man of theatrics and dramatics he had prepared this speech and wanted it delivered here in this setting. In front of me. For me. Dr. Leland's presence was an added bonus. "So we have the where and the why. Doctors, the what is very simple." He chuckled and leaned forward as he whispered: "What was I doing last night? Well, doctors." He looked straight at me. "I was falling in love."

It had taken all of my restraint not to kiss him. Throw myself across the table and at him. Tear of his straight-jacket and melt into him right there and then.

Dr. Leland was annoyed.

I wasn't sure if she believed him or not. She moved on to the question of how he had gotten out. He hadn't replied.

I had asked him how he was feeling and he had said:

Elated, Dr. Quinzel. I feel so happy I could puke.

Same, Mr. J. I thought. Same.

Shortly afterwards we had left.

I'd told her I needed to go to the bathroom real quick and then we could talk. I would be submissive to her just as she'd expected me to be. I would get her to like me.

In the restroom I splashed cold water in my face.

I needed to calm down,

But he had fallen in love with me!

He was so serious about me that he had returned to this place, to this prison.

I splashed more cold water onto my face as if that could somehow take away any of the heat from inside me.

The heat that was making its way all through my body, from my tip of my head all way to my toes.

Happiness. I thought. This is what being happy feels like.

When I stepped outside again Dr. Leland was waiting for me. She had that stern look on her face once more and I couldn't get the idea out of my head that she was judging me,

"Follow me."

We walked in silence. I wasn't sure why she was so bitter towards me, but I could have cared less. He was in love with me.

I wanted to tell him I felt the same way. I just didn't know how. What with our newly appointed chaperon.

Inside her office I once again felt like being in trouble in the principals office.

"Harleen." She said. "The only reason you're an intern here at Arkham because of your connection to Dr. Kendall, you know that right?"

"Um...sure, yeah, I suppose."

"Anyway, now that the Joker is talking he needs real psychiatric care, an actual doctor, if you will. Now, it was going well, but since he managed to escape..." She didn't finish that sentence and I frowned.

"You think it's my fault he escaped?"

"Well." She sat up in her chair. "Not entirely, of course, but I do wonder about what is going on between you two."

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly feeling dry, the words getting stuck in my throat. "Excuse me?"

"You let him tell jokes? Crude jokes? This isn't a game, you know, this is a deeply troubled man with delusional fantasies and I think it's very unwise for you to engage in the way that you have been."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice stronger now. "Delusional fantasies?"

She actually laughed now. "Weren't you listening in that session just now? The beautiful girl he kissed?" Dr. Leland shook her head. "Do you honestly think that any woman would love this horrible creature?"

Stay calm Harley-Baby, Hailey's voice rang clear in my head. I feel ya, but you can't kill this little bitch right now. Be clever.

"I think." I said keeping all of my emotions boiling inside of me. "That I am the only one who wasn't harmed by him and the I am the one that managed to get him talking again after he was silent for months." I looked into her eyes, trying to see past the hardness, trying to understand if there was an inkling of sympathy, not for the creature, but for the lonely man who had just confessed his love. To me. There was only hardness.

"As for the story he told. I don't know, it might be true. He certainly has charisma and if the right naïve, vulnerable girl is lured into his trap, she could feel attracted to him and I think..." Careful, Hailey's voice warned me. Don't say too much. "I think he thinks it's true, whatever happened, wherever he went he fell in love last night and then came back because he wants to change and he wants help in becoming a better person."

She snorted at his. "Sure, whatever. I've been in close contact with the Gotham Police Department and the minute the call comes in that they've found a dead woman last night I promise you she will have the Jokers finger prints all over her."

I wanted to argue, but she went on:

"Anyway, I will be taking the lead on this case from now on, you will quietly observe, take notes and write daily reports. This is an internship after all. You're not a doctor yet and we need to see if we can undo some of the damage you done."

"I didn't do any damage!" I couldn't keep my voiced levelled any longer.

"He controls the environment completely!" She snapped back, obviously she had been keeping some emotions of her own in check too. "He thinks the sessions are fun and games and you've been contributing to that, letting him manipulate the room to his own rules."

"That's how he communicates! You wouldn't know that because he didn't speak before I got him to open up." I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Fun and games is how he makes sense of the world, if you want to talk to him openly you have to be able to understand that."

She regarded me with an amused look. "That may be, I suppose Daniel's trial will shine some light on how his mind works."

"What?!"

"Dr. Kendall's trial." She said as if I didn't know who Daniel was.

"I know about his trial!" I snapped and she jumped in her seat. "I told him clearly that Mr. J will not be participating in any that."

"Well, you're not his doctor, Harleen." She sounded gleeful. "I am and I fully intend to let Dr. Kendall find out what exactly is wrong with the Joker's brain. Whatever measures it may take."

So what do you think?