Songs: Nirvana - All Apologies; The Breeders - Bang On; Dorothy - Down To The Bottom

I was sitting in some shady bar out in the slums and was on my fourth bottle of beer. I could definitely feel the effects of the alcohol on me, but I wasn't drunk enough yet. I also had to get halfway sober again, before I got back to the house. I was still sober enough to know I couldn't risk Mordecai starting to drink again. And in the back of my head I already knew I had screwed up by going out on my own and getting this drunk. The first two beers I drank with Gaige while we just talked and said our goodbyes.

The third one I had on my own, telling Gaige I'd stay for just one more. Now I was halfway through the fourth bottle and things started spinning a little. I didn't even know where exactly I was, just that this place looked shady as hell. I was pretty sure I had witnessed a major drug deal just a few minutes ago. But I figured if I just laid low, I'd be fine. Thank God, I had a gun with me.

Anouk hadn't been talking to me, since I told her the truth. And I could understand why she was upset. That was the whole problem. I could absolutely understand why she'd never want to talk to me ever again. I was feeling pretty bad in general, so I did what I did best. Run away from the problem.

I felt a little bad, because I knew Mordecai would start worrying after a while. He knew what had happened and he knew that I needed some time to feel sorry for myself. I had told him that I was meeting up with Gaige. He didn't know I was gulping down beers or that I was out in the slums or that I was on my own for about an hour at this point. He didn't need to know or he'd be worried even more.

I looked around me. Maybe this really wasn't the best place to be for me right now. There were a handful people around me, some of them sitting on tables in the back, one or two sitting at the bar a few stools away from me. At least half the people in this place had guns with them and weren't even trying to hide them.

I didn't know why I was starting to get a little worried, I mean after all, I wasn't a local and I had no beef with anyone. I had kept out of other people's business, hadn't I...? Fuck. The guys that wanted the money from Camila. I had NOT kept out of people's business. I scanned the room, but no one seemed to behave suspiciously or anything. Maybe I should keep an eye out for that.

I took a big gulp from my beer and only now fully realized what an awful bitter aftertaste it had. I glanced down at my ECHO device that had been blinking for a good while now. I had ignored it until now, but I figured I could check if it was something serious. The message was from Lilith.

"Nova, Mordy told me what happened? Are you okay? Do you wanna talk?"

I sighed and decided to ignore the message for a little longer. I really wasn't in the mood to talk just yet. But maybe I should check my map to see where the hell I was. I couldn't really remember how I got here.

I had met up with Gaige at the Fast Travel Station and then we had just been talking and wandering around until we found this place. I had no clue where I was and how I had gotten here. Hopefully Gaige had found the way back. Shit, what if she didn't find the way back? What if she was wandering around on her own out there? What if something had happened to her on the way back?

"Yo Gaige, you get home okay?" I mumbled into my ECHO device. I nervously tapped my feet as I waited for a reply. Maybe she was already asleep.

"Yup. You still out?" she answered pretty quickly. I sighed with relief and chose to ignore that message, too. Gaige was alright and that was all that I needed to know to be a little calmer. Gaige didn't need to know that I was still out drinking.

"That seat free?" I suddenly heard a voice next to me. I sat up straight and looked over just to see a mass of black, curly hair. Anouk.

"Yeah." I replied with a shrug and quickly took another gulp from my bottle. I was surprised to see her here. Even more surprised she was talking to me. I wondered where this was going...

"Did Mordecai send you? Or Gaige?" I asked.

"No, no one sent me." she answered. Huh. I stared at my bottle, not sure what else to say. I was prepared for anything, but not this.

"You been here a long time?" Anouk wanted to know.

"I don't really know how long. Quite some time. You want a drink?" I replied, after I had gotten over my initial surprise that she wanted to talk to me. I wondered what this was about. Maybe she wanted to know some more stuff, maybe she was still angry and had more to say to me. I wouldn't have blamed her.

"Sure, I'll have a beer, too." she said. I made eye contact with the bartender and asked for another beer. He got one out of the fridge, opened it on the edge of the counter and put it down in front of Anouk without a word.

"Thanks." she mumbled and sipped on it. I watched her grimace at the bitter aftertaste and smiled a little. It really was a terrible beer, even worse than rakk ale. I didn't think that was possible.

"Did you come here all on your own?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, I got your ECHO signal and found where you were. It's quite a walk from the Fast Travel station, I almost got lost once or twice." she answered. Shit, I should have tried to turn off my signal.

"Ah damn. I have no idea how I got here, so it'll be terrible to get back. No matter how much you hate me, you're not going back alone, okay? I'll come with you, it's not the safest place out there." I told her.

"I don't hate you." she replied quietly. I looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. Was she just saying that, because she felt bad for me or something?

"Don't worry, it's okay. I'd probably hate myself, too, if I were in your situation. I mean, you told me how much it would mean to you to find your roots and all and all this time, I've just been sitting here keeping it to myself like some douche-"

"No, I mean it. I don't hate you. I shouldn't have said that, I was just... really angry and upset. But I didn't mean to say that. I just... I don't know. I'm sorry I said that."

"It's alright, I understand. So... are we good now or...?" I asked. Anouk nodded quickly and smiled a little. We sat there for a while not saying anything, because everything that could have been said would have been weird.

"Oh fuck this, I knew this would get incredibly awkward!" I blurted out when the silence just got too much for me. Anouk started laughing loudly.

"I'm really sorry. I knew I've been saying all the time I wanted to find my biological family and all, but when you actually told me, it was just kind of too much. I overreacted. And you've been really nice to me from the beginning. Can... can I ask you some stuff?" Anouk wanted to know.

"Of course. Ask anything you want. I'm just glad we're on talking terms again." I told her and smiled softly.

"How long have you known?"

"Well... Actually, my friend Lilith offered to look through some Hyperion data we found, if there was any trace of you. I only knew your name, and how old you'd be, so I didn't really think she'd find anything. But after we defeated the Warrior and Jack, she gave me this datapad that was full with stuff about you. So I read through it while I couldn't do much, because of my injuries. And then after a while, Mordecai brought up this competition, so we could get some cash for my new leg and your name was on the list. So I figured if we met, then we did and I might tell you. And if not, then maybe it wasn't meant to be. And you know the rest."

"That's wild. I mean, knowing you, it kind of explains a good few things about me. I don't know why I didn't figure it out sooner or anything. I mean, looking at it now, it's pretty obvious we're related."

"I don't know if I'd call it obvious. And honestly, with the amount of people in all the six galaxies I wouldn't suspect a relative behind every person that was kinda similar to me. It would be weirder if you had suspected it."

"So... Mordecai isn't my father, right?" she asked next, looking genuinely confused. I almost spit out my drink, because I had to laugh at the thought of it. I shook my head, when I had calmed down again.

"Hell nah. I only met Mordecai 10 years after I arrived on Pandora. You must have been... 13 or something at the time." I told her.

"Then who's my dad? Do you know?"

"Yeah, I know. But he's not important. Hell, I don't even know if he's still alive or not. Probably not. He was a guy from Aquator, lived out in the slums. I met him when I was 15 and he was probably the very first guy I was absolutely in love with. He knocked me up after 3 months and when I told him I was pregnant, he broke up and didn't want anything to do with you. Or me. Well, except for a booty call now and then. And the three months I was dating him? Not good. It was a big blur of drugs, alcohol, violence and murder. It took me a while to see it, but this guy? He wasn't good for me at all. So when I finally realized it, I didn't have any contact with him at all. I don't know what happened to him. He was involved with a gang, so I'd say he's probably dead." I explained.

"Wow, that's... that's some story. So... he's never seen me? He doesn't know you gave me up for adoption?" Anouk asked. I shook my head.

"No. He doesn't know. He didn't want to know." I answered.

"So... why did you give me away? You were young and he didn't support you, but wouldn't your parents have supported you?"

"Oh no. No, no, no. Adoption was their idea in the first place. I didn't get along very well with my parents, honestly. To be fair, I probably was a nightmare to take care of once I hit puberty. But they were also just really strict. I was barely allowed to see any friends, they wanted to see peak performance in school, no skirts above the knee and all that jazz. And of course the stricter they got, the more I rebelled against them. I was the complete opposite extreme, mostly just to spite them. When they heard I was pregnant, they freaked. They just absolutely freaked. They didn't even know I was seeing anyone, let alone I was having sex. So yeah. They pushed me towards adoption, really."

"I wonder if they'd wanna meet me at some stage..."

"Maybe. I haven't seen them in 15 years. A lot could have changed since then. Hell, I know I've changed a lot since then. I don't think I'd get along with them better now, but the problem would be different. But you? You're brilliant. You're a sweet girl, successful. I'd say they'd like you. But I don't know. I haven't talked to them since I left."

"So Pandora is your home, really?"

"Yeah. I suppose so. Hey, if you ever wanna come and visit me on Pandora, go ahead. Hyperion is still there, but they are weakened, so it's not half as dangerous as it was before. It would be great to have you over." I said to her. She looked at me and smiled. We both finished our beers and I got some cash out of my pocket to pay up.

"You know what? I'd love to see Pandora, so I'll probably take you up on that offer. I need to ask for some time off first, though." she said.

"Sure thing. Just echo me, and let me know." I answered, when I heard a suspicious noise. That was the sound of a gun being cocked. I froze for a second, then continued as usual. I handed the bartender the money and sat back down. I put my hand on my gun and got ready to pull it, if necessary.

"Anouk, you got any weapons on you?" I whispered to her. She gave me a confused look and nodded discreetly.

"Get a gun ready." I said quietly and looked around me. There were a few people all around the bar that were watching us. Shit. I should have listened to my drunk paranoia. I got up from the chair and turned around just to hear the empty bottle behind me shatter. Like a reflex I pulled my gun and pointed it at the first person I saw with a gun in their hands. There were several of them. We were surrounded.

"The fuck do you want?" I shouted at them.

"You killed some of ours, now you gotta pay. Didn't think you'd get away with it, did you?" one of the men said with a raucous voice.

"Ah, fuck. Look, my daughter's got nothing to do with this, let her leave, alright?" I replied. I didn't think it's work, but it was worth a try. All I got was laughter, though. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Anouk, get ready to shoot your way out of here." I told her. It occurred to me shortly that she probably hadn't killed many people before, but there was no time for her to get used to that thought. Not if she wanted to survive.

"You think you can just get away from us that easily?" the guy with the throaty voice said to us, still laughing. I took a deep breath and fired a shot at him, hitting him in the chest. His laugh turned into an ugly gurgling sound and he fell to the ground. There was silence in the bar, as if they hadn't expected me to actually shoot.

There was no time to ask questions, though. I quickly aimed at the next guy I could see and took him out, just as he was running for cover. I felt a bullet get reflected off my shield and tumbled backwards a little. Anouk's hands were shaking while she was taking out one guy after another on her side.

We made our way to the door of the bar by just shooting wildly around us, hoping to incapacitate the remaining gang members. Once we were outside I slammed the door shut and took a deep breath. There was no one waiting outside with a gun or anything. I was surprised they had found me, I didn't think anyone else had seen us kill those guys trying to get money from Camila.

"Alright, let's leg it." I said to Anouk and started running. I had no clue where I was going, but I knew we had to get away from there as soon as possible. And I was probably better off not setting foot in this part of town again, because I had just killed a whole lot of people and I was sure they'd be angry at me.

"Where are we going?" Anouk shouted at me, panting while we were turning into small alleyways and around all kinds of little corners just to get away with the most confusing route ever. I could feel my leg starting to hurt. I had been exercising before we got here, but I still had my limits.

"I have no idea. Where is the Fast Travel station?" I replied as I jumped over the fence to a small backyard. I really felt the pain in my leg when I landed from that jump. That was when Anouk caught up with me.

"Follow me, I know where it is." she said and ran ahead. I did my best to keep up with her, but the beer and my leg got the better of me and I had to slow down.

"How far is it?" I asked.

"Not far, just around the corner!" Anouk shouted back at me. I looked behind me, sighed, and continued jogging until I turned around the corner that Anouk had disappeared behind. I could see her at the Fast Travel station, typing the code into it. I sped up and made it to the station just in time for us to be transported back.

When we materialized again I fell on my knees. I felt terribly sick and my leg was in an insane amount of pain. Everything was spinning, which was normal, but this time it just wouldn't stop. What the fuck was that?

"Are you okay?" Anouk asked, while she was still gasping for air.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." I mumbled. I limped away from the Fast Travel station and did my best to hold my hair back as I was throwing up. God, this was terrible. I really, really hated myself in that moment. When I came back, Anouk was standing at the Fast Travel station with a big smug grin on her face.

"First time fast travelling while you're drunk?" she said.

"I dunno. Possibly. I just wanna shower and sleep right now." I replied. Anouk laughed and put an arm around my shoulders.

"Come on, let's get back home."