Chapter 8

Emily's POV…

The image of Edward appearing the way he had, from within the bones of another man, haunted me long after I ran out that door. The image woke me from my dreams with the face I once longed for staring at me. In my dreams, his eyes would stare at me, filled with a combination of love and pain and something sinister that had been there since we met, but now it seemed different somehow. He wasn't the man I knew anymore. He was someone unknown, a man I could no longer trust or love. The truth was, even though, I had run out of that apartment away from him, Edward Hyde was always with me. In my mind, I saw him transform from the man I'd wanted saved from, only to be that man the whole time, and I didn't know how to feel because truthfully, I was afraid of what other secrets he might have hidden where I couldn't see.

"I was once made of all the monstrous parts of him. Jekyll created me, so he could go blameless as he reaped havoc on London, but over time I gained a mind of my own. Overtime, I met you and you made me the gentleman you always claimed I was. I fell in love with you. Emily. It took this moment for me to realize it" Edward's words filled my mind in bits and pieces, the look on his face as he said it always there, those eyes pleading with me to come closer so it could be like it was before, something that she didn't know could be possible again after everything she had witnessed. A week had passed, and I hadn't been back. I wasn't ever going back, I told myself that even as some distant part of myself didn't believe it.

"You have nothing to fear…I will always look after you" Edward had promised that and even now he was keeping that promise because even a week later, he was following me, I could feel him in the shadows as I walked in them even as I avoided the apartment that had once meant so much. I knew Edward was watching me though I wasn't sure if he was supposed to be my guardian angel or a demon waiting to take my soul. I heard his footsteps often as I walked home at night. I saw his silhouette as I turned every corner, but this time, I knew it was Edward. When I first heard the steps, I was afraid because I thought they belonged to Jekyll. I was sure that man had come to prove him power over me after he had revealed to me the truth that I hadn't had before, but as I listen to their slow decisive footing, I knew, it was Edward. He was more calculated then his counterpart and I could tell that simply in the way he walked as he watched me.

Somehow, I knew Jekyll had given up on me. That all he had wanted was to see my face when I knew the truth and he had gotten what he wanted; I suppose. He had made it, so I was no longer his. Somehow, I knew he had wanted to take me away from Edward, as if I threatened him somehow, but I also knew it was more then that. The more I thought about it, the more I knew that Jekyll wanted power over Edward Hyde, and I threatened that power which is why he had gotten rid of me. Something I knew but didn't dwell on it as I kept my distance even as the man, I was avoiding followed me home every night. I hadn't seen him, only the dark shadow of the man who had managed to claim my heart.

"I will always be in love with him, but I can't be with him" I thought it even as I heard his footsteps behind me.

"I will always love him" I thought that, fully aware that it was true. That image had shaken me to my core. It had put everything I thought was possible into question and made it, so I was shaken. So that I was looking over my shoulder wondering what other secrets lay hidden in the world around me. There were other things that wouldn't leave me though and they all had one thing in common. They all concerned Edward Hyde.

My memories of him didn't seem real anymore. They seemed flawed now, like what I had known wasn't just a lie, but sometimes I wondered if they had happened at all. Sometimes, I felt like it was all something I had dreamed up until I heard those mysterious footsteps walking behind me at night. With every memory, I searched for the clues to the truth that I had missed before, but as I found them, they didn't ease my mind. Instead, they only brought more questions, but I still had no fewer answers. I was lost to what was happening around me. He had said he loved me. It was some thing I had been waiting for him to say, but now that he had, I wasn't sure how to feel. It didn't feel like I could trust the words or the sentiment itself. He had said he loved me, but could I trust those words. Trust that they were true. I felt surrounded by lies and the biggest one of them all was walking behind me. He had introduced those lies, created them, and all I wanted was answers as I went over those lies in my head every night. He said he loved me, but did he? I loved him, I knew that, but did he know the same. What did he know or feel or think? What was true or not true? I was conflicted by everything, scared too, and deeply hurt. Because I couldn't help, but wonder, if Jekyll hadn't revealed anything, would he have ever told me himself? I wanted to know that even as I promised myself, I'd never see him again. I didn't keep that promise though because that very night, I let my mind wonder until I was at those steps that led to the apartment where I had so often waited for him. At first, I didn't know how I'd gotten there, I wasn't going to stay, but something moved me forward.

"Don't go" I thought it even as I was moving up the stairs, stopping at the door as another part of myself whispered the exact opposite. I touched the doorknob, but I didn't turn it. Part of me expected to feel him come up behind me, but he never came. He was nowhere to be found. I hadn't even heard his footsteps that night, maybe, that's why I turned it. I opened that door and stepped inside. As soon as I did though, I stopped at the sight that met me, and I stared wide eyed before moving further into the apartment. When I walked into that door, I had expected to find him there, but I found more then that.

"Edward, what did you do?" I exclaimed running blindly towards him, my haunted memories suddenly stopping along with everything else as suddenly everything returned to our normal because suddenly nothing else mattered.

Hyde's POV…

The longer I watched Emily after everything had happened, the more I began to realize that she wasn't coming back. I hid in the shadows, following her, protecting her, and longing for her. I knew she heard my footsteps and that she ignored them. It frustrated me even as I knew why she was doing it. I couldn't blame her because after everything that had been revealed to her, I didn't blame her if she never wanted to see me again, and yet that was how she had affected me. There was a time when she wouldn't have been allowed to ignore me, but now, I couldn't force myself upon the woman I loved. That felt wrong somehow even as I followed her home at night. I watched her avoid anything that might bring her in contact with me. When it all first happened, part of me believed she might come back, but after only a few days that hope seemed to fade to a type of knowledge I tried to deny. Until I knew she wasn't coming back. That I would never touch her again or explain anything to her. That was why one night I decided not to follow her. I would never hold her again or kiss her.

When I couldn't take it anymore, I stopped following her, and going to the apartment where our story had begun and ended too; I replayed our story in my mind. I had so many regrets, one of them being those words I couldn't say. I should have told her I loved her sooner. It shouldn't have come amid so much chaos, but thinking of it then, I made up my mind. Emily had become the meaning behind my existence. She was the reason I left the cage that was Jekyll's mind every night because I wanted to be with her. I didn't want to wonder around the streets of London indulging in every sin. The only thing I wanted to indulge in was her, Emily, the one I loved. I didn't want to live without that, without her, so I decided I wasn't going to.

"I love her, I can't live without her" I thought it again as I was preparing for what I had decided would be my ultimate end. Climbing atop the desk in the apartment, I tied the rope, and placed the noose around my neck. As I stood there, contemplating the time I had had with her, I felt something throb inside me because I truly believed I would never see her again. I took my final breath, my mind made up, and I just did it. I stepped off the desk into my death. Part of me hoped my neck would snap, but it didn't as I struggled for breath as a scream filled the air. That scream seeded oddly familiar as I blacked out.

Emily's POV…

When I walked through that door, I wasn't expecting any of the things I saw. Part of me had felt him before I walked through the door. I had expected to see him as he always was, looming in the background, where he could sneak up on her as he had done since the moment they met. What she hadn't expected was what she found. He was hanging there by the chandelier with a noose around his neck. He was killing himself; I saw it in his eyes, and despite everything that had passed between us, I didn't want that.

"Edward" I screamed as I rushed into the room. He was still alive, I could tell by the way his body twitched, and grabbing the only part of him I could reach, I tried to force him back onto the desk, but he wouldn't go.

That was when I ran to the desk drawer, grabbing the knife he used that first night, and that was when I climbed onto the desk.

"Edward!" I exclaimed, finding the knife he had used our first night together laying on the desk mere inches from where he hung, and climbing onto the desk to cut him down. I used the knife to cut the rope and when his body hit the floor, I didn't hesitate to climb down, and crawl to him.

"What did you do?" I exclaimed then taking him into my arms to look down into his face. In that moment, he wasn't the man I'd seen transform from the body of another, he was the man I loved, not a monster, but simply that. He wouldn't open his eyes, but I could hear his heavy shallow breathing. Touching his face, I started to cry as I looked down at him.

"Edward, open your eyes. Please, don't leave me" I whispered.