Chapter 9

Hyde's POV…

I didn't know where I was or what was happening when my eyes first opened. The last memory I had was of me stepping off the desk into my own death, but this didn't feel like death. Everything was too quiet except for a soft cry that seemed too close and the touch of something that felt oddly like fingers against the skin of my cheek. I didn't know what it was, but it was somehow soothing as I found myself leaning closer into that touch as my eyes sought out its source. When I found it, I wasn't expecting it to belong to Emily. I was still lying on the floor, in the arms of a woman, and it took me only a moment to realize that that woman was Emily. At first, I wasn't sure if she was really there or something my mind had created. After a moment though, my mind seemed to come back to itself as I realized that she was there. She was holding me in her arms, she was crying over me the way a woman would the man she loved, but I didn't dare let myself assume such a thing as our eyes met. Her tears covered her eyes with such sincerity. A few of them left her face to fall onto mine and in that moment, many questions filled my mind in the same moment as the urge to kiss her possessed me. I wondered why she was there? What had made her come back or why she had? They were all encompassed by that one singular longing in my heart though, the one that told me to bring her closer to kiss her, but I wasn't sure I had that right anymore as we stared at each other. The tears kept leaving her eyes the entire time. As more of them fell onto my own face, it all seemed to make it real. Not just her being there, but everything. Because I had thought I'd never see her again, but now, here she was. Close to me in a way I'd feared I'd never have her again.

"You came back" I whispered grasping her hand as it touched my face.

"Yes" whispered Emily, her voice small as I brought her hand to my lips to kiss it with all my love as I sat up never taking my eyes away from her as I tried to take her into my arms only to have her shrug away. As I watched her move as far from me as she could, I knew somehow that her answer was both a truth, and a lie. Because she looked at me with such fear in her eyes. She seemed so unsure of everything she was doing. As if she didn't know if coming back was a mistake or not. She only backed away from me until her back hit the wall, her eyes never leaving mine, and I didn't go after her. I knew I needed to earn her trust again.

"You say yes, but nothing is like it was before. You're afraid of me…more afraid then you were even the first night we met. It makes me wonder why you are here. Why did you come back to me…back here if the sight of me repulses you so?" I exclaimed, saying them harsher than I meant to, but in that moment, I didn't know any other way to be because I was truly perplexed by her in that moment. Emily looked away from me then and staring at her hands, I could see her forming an answer.

"I just found myself here. I didn't plan it or even think about it. My heart seemed to bring me here of its own accord" said Emily, her voice still so small. Her tears still covered her face, but they made her no less a beauty. I couldn't help thinking that nothing could diminish her beauty in my eyes as she stood before me then a mess of saline wetness. I could tell though that she was being completely honest which only made her reaction to me now more bittersweet. That all changed quickly though when she brought her hands to cover her face. She wiped the tears from her face, and only then did she look at me again. This time there was a hint of something I couldn't place in her eyes. I had seen it before, but I couldn't place it then. That something made me move closer to her on my hands and knees, part of me wondering if she'd run. She didn't though, she remained exactly where she was, and I moved to sit next to her. I didn't touch her in any way. I was only close enough to touch, to feel the heat of her body, but still I didn't touch her. Afterall, I reminded myself, I needed to earn the right to do so once more. We sat in silence for a moment until touching her hand, I was surprised when she didn't flinch away, but take mine in both of hers. I could tell she was surprised too.

"Emily?" I whispered then as our eyes met again only for her to look away again, as she did though, I only continued to look at her wondering what was going through her mind.

"I've been thinking a lot these last few days" exclaimed Emily refusing to look at me now.

"Thinking about what?" I whispered watching her closely.

"You mostly…and everything I know now. Everything I saw. Mostly I've been thinking about what you are. About that man who you transformed from or who changed into you or the other way around or…well, I've been trying to make sense of it. I've been running every memory I have of us around in my head trying to look for signs of what you were that could have told me the truth. No matter how much I think of all of it, I have no answer. I can't explain anything" whispered Emily beginning to shake as she spoke. She let go of my hand then and I could see how unsure she was about all of it. I could also see though that she wanted to understand that was why she was seeking some sort of answer to it all. Her hands came to cover her face and she released a sob into them in that moment. I didn't know what to say as I looked at her still not daring to touch her yet. I had no explanation. All I wanted in that moment was to hold her and tell her that everything was alright. That I would protect her, but I didn't dare. Not just out of fear for how she'd react, but because I had already proven how fruitless it was the try to protect her from Jekyll. I had failed once and feared I would fail again. That urge didn't go away though as she sat next to me sobbing.

She stopped crying as quickly as she had begun. Suddenly, she was on her feet, and I had to stop myself from grabbing her hand or doing anything to stop her from leaving me again. She didn't leave though. She only walked a small distance away, the look on her face telling him she was still trying to explain everything she had seen. I just watched her though, waiting for her to leave, but still she stayed until once again, she surprised me. She walked the floor in a pacing fit of nerves, mumbling words I couldn't hear. Until finally, she looked at me, and everything came flurrying out in a rush of words that ran all together.

"I don't know what to make of this. I met you and I couldn't stand you then somehow, I end up meeting you here every night. Then to make it worse, I somehow manage to fall in love with you only to find out you're keeping all these secrets which I kind of knew about, but not like this. This goes beyond any secret I could have imagined…and I just don't know what to say or feel or…I don't know" exclaimed Emily beginning to pace again.

"I know how confusing this must be, Emily, but it doesn't change anything. You don't have to worry about Jekyll…I could try to protect you" I exclaimed rising to my feet as I spoke not believing the words even as I said them, my feet moving me until I was right in front of her into her pacing path.

"Edward, that's only part of the problem. How can I trust you now? There was a time when I thought I knew who you were, but now, I don't know anything" exclaimed Emily running right into me as she finished speaking, nearly falling, but I caught her before she could.

Our eyes met and neither of us moved. My hands touched her waist as hers settled on my chest and we just looked at each other. I kept waiting for her to push me away or to run out again like she had done before, but she just stood there looking at me. I didn't know what to say to her as I looked at her. I just waited to see what she would say or do and enjoyed having her so close again in that moment.

"I don't know if I'll ever understand any of this" whispered Emily finally her eyes holding such uncertainty.

"You fell in love with me?" I whispered my voice as soft as I could make it.

"Yes, I've been in love with you for quite a while. I still am in love with you and all this time I've been waiting for you to say it back, but when you finally did, it came at the wrong time" exclaimed Emily, her tears returning. It was then that she looked away from me, but I made her look back. She seemed so small, so fragile then as she looked at me. Her eyes were filled with tears, her hands were still on my chest, and she was shaking. Shaking not out of fear, but pure emotion. I knew then that I had a very small window with which to act, so I moved quickly to do so. I gave into the urge to hold her in my arms. I gave into the urge to kiss her then and without a thought I swept her off her feet. I just did it, without giving her a chance to react or scream or deny me at all. I took the opportunity presented to me just as I had the first night we met, and I didn't regret it then or now. I don't think she did either.

Emily didn't fight me when I kissed her. She let me kiss her and after a moment, she returned it. I heard as her breathing became heavy with desire as our kiss proceeded. I felt as her hands touched my face and when I looked at her again, the flush redness of her face made we swell with some sort of unknown pride.

"I never expected to love you…but it doesn't change the fact that I do. I love you, Emily" I whispered part of me surprised when she kissed me this time, her fingers in my hair drawing me closer as my hands moved over her until I was lifting her by the back of her thighs. Everything felt just as they used to then as I lifted her into my arms until her legs wrapped themselves around my waist. Somehow, we made our way over to the wall where we'd sat only moments ago, and suddenly, our lips parted. We looked at each other, neither of us sure what to do or say, both of us only knowing what we wanted in that moment. Moments passed, we didn't say anything until with a brutal tug, she dragged my lips back to hers only to leave me wanting when they parted again.

"I love you" whispered Emily, the words seeming to choke her as she admitted her feelings.

"I have loved you for some time now. I just didn't have the nerve to tell you until that moment came and I had to. I love you, Emily, and will even if you leave me now" I whispered seeing as the tears slid slowly down her face making me move to kiss her once more, but before our lips could meet, she moved away.

"Don't leave me now" I whispered, making her look at me, her arms only holding me closer, tighter as our eyes met, and I could see her decision before she moved to speak it out loud.

"I love you, Edward, but I'm scared. Not scared of you really, but of the man inside of you. I don't what to do or how to react. I don't know what is right or wrong in this situation. Because I can't hurt him without hurting you. I can't protect myself against him without protecting myself against you. And there's no way you can protect me. You'll only be protecting me from yourself…there's no way we can survive this. I don't know what to do" whispered Emily tears like raindrops as they moved down her face. I held her all the closer as I looked at her then.

"We will find a way" I whispered kissing her once more, suddenly, turning to press her into the wall.