Songs: Songs: X Ambassadors - Jungle (The MADE Edit); Arctic Monkeys - The View From The Afternoon

"You alright, killer? I got as many people off Sanctuary as I could, but it was kind of a rush job. Looks like I scattered the Crimson Raiders around the area." I heard Lilith's voice over the ECHO. Both mine and Mordecai's ECHO devices got pretty busted up. Mine was capable of showing the map, but nothing else and Mordecai's ECHO could receive messages. Neither of us could send anything at the moment, which was pretty annoying and which was what I was currently working on.

"Those weren't bandits that attacked us. They were trained soldiers. And that gas - it turned people into monsters. Find us a base camp while I look around for the others. We'll rally the troops and take back Sanctuary." Lilith said next. So, the Raiders were scattered all around the place and it seemed like Lilith might have managed to get out a few civilians as well. I had no idea if Anouk was okay or not, and I had no way of finding out. I also had no way of letting Lilith know we were okay.

"At ease, cowards. This is Colonel Hector of the New Pandora army. You can stop running now. I already got what I wanted. Sanctuary and the Vault Key are mine once again." someone unfamiliar announced over the ECHO. He started to laugh and had to cough from it. That had to be the guy leading his soldiers to Sanctuary. What the hell was his deal? Why was he attacking us?

"Honestly, I was hopin' for more of a fight. I mean, y'all got completely outmaneuvered. What happened to you Crimson Raiders? Seems without your man Roland, y'all turned into a pack of baby rakks with yer tailbarbs tucked between your talons!" he mocked. Mordecai turned around to me and shook his head angrily.

"Can't you shut this guy up?" he asked.

"Not if you want me to try to get a connection to Lilith." I answered. It was difficult enough to fix an ECHO device, but it was even more difficult to do so without the proper tools. All I had were some digistructed tools, thanks to my leg. And I could only get to half of them, probably because this Hector guy was royally messing up Sanctuary.

"So here's what happens now. You've seen what my Paradise Gas did to your people. Next up? All of Pandora. Sure, it'll kill everyone on the planet, but every garden needs its fertilizer." he said, as if on cue. Right after that I could hear Lilith sighing and I knew exactly what part of his little speech had gotten to her.

"Well, he's a dickhead. But he's right. Roland never would have let this happen." she said. I knew it. I fucking knew it. She'd end up blaming herself over everything. Maybe we should have never let her be in command right after everything that happened. We should have known she'd always compare herself to Roland and would feel like she was failing him constantly.

"Y'know, back in the day, Sanctuary was the pride of Dahl's mining fleet. Seems to have fallen into disrepair. I hope you don't mind, but I've already made some upgrades. Here, I'll say it for ya: incoming." Hector said again. I exchanged a horrified look with Mordecai who was scouting the place out as well as he could. Talon was a big help with that, but we couldn't run too far off without knowing where the others were. There was no point getting killed just yet.

"Back off, you viney bastards! This is my kingdom! Squatter's rights... bro! Those vine-freaks are back! Okay, okay, who's saving me?! Roll call! Anyone who's not gargling vine currently, scream bloody murder!" another unfamiliar voice shouted through the ECHO. Who the hell was that now? Some bandit king or something? He sounded unusually sane for a bandit king.

"The hell is up with this guy?" I heard Gaige's voice.

"That's what you're worried about? How about all these plant people?" Maya replied to her. I couldn't stop smiling. It was good to know that at least those two were still with us. And it sounded like Salvador was alive and well, too, judging from the sound of rapid gunfire and shouting.

"Maya, Gaige and probably Salvador are all with Lilith, it seems!" I told Mordecai. He looked back at me and smiled a little.

"That's good. Anouk is probably with them. We were together and ended up in the same place, so she's probably with Gaige and the rest of them. What's this thing about plant people?" he replied.

"Apparently that gas they released in Sanctuary turns people into some plant - human hybrid thing. Doesn't sound fun."

"What's that? I hear the sounds of bloodthirsty murder, and I love it! Whoever you are, mystery bandit, kill - kill, KILL! - those vine-freaks and turn that tide!" the mysterious bandit king shouted again. Mordecai and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows. A lot of things were weird on Pandora but this guy just didn't fit in with the general vibe of weirdness. He was a special kind of weird.

"Hey, how's that tide comin'? Is it still turning? Heck yeah! Slice and dice those reaping creepers, my mysterious savior! Nice job."

"And now I'm sitting in some sort of clown-themed novelty bar enjoying week-old pizza and watered-down booze. Hell of a lifestyle, folks. But it made you soft. In my experience, an army rots from the top down. I led my people up from ruin, gave 'em somethin' to believe in. That's why they follow me. We are New Pandora. We're the men who split our backs on the promise of paradise. But it was stolen from us. Now we're takin' it back. Startin' with your ship, and your key. Now, Paradise is a'comin'. And if I have to choke the life outta every last person on this planet to get there, then that's what I'm gonna do." Hector chimed in. He was at Moxxi's bar? Did that mean that she was dead? Or that she got out? Or that she was held prisoner? Had she been turned into a plant?

"Oh crap! A Vault Hunter! Oh, um... Uh... kidding! Easy, easy! Let's not get all shooty... at me... okay? Uh, my name is Vaughn. Now, I know we're supposed to be, like, mortal enemies or whatever, but... I don't know, the enemy of my plant-monster enemy, right? Sure! Hey, looks like Hector kicked you out of your home too, huh? Well, guess we better join forces! Welcome to my camp... the Backburner! Look, Hector's vine-freaks could be back at any moment. We'd better secure camp, Vault Backburner's firewall got knocked out. And I'm talkin' an actual wall of fire! We gotta reset the security relays to get that firewall A-FLAMIN'!" the odd bandit king from earlier said through the ECHO. I fiddled with some wires and got hit by a spark, which caused me to drop the ECHO device. Something on it lit up.

"Guess we'll reset those relays. We'd have a place to stay for now, after all." I heard Axton say. Thank God, Axton was still alive. I reached for the ECHO to check what I had done to it. Maybe I could send messages now...? No. Still nothing. At least I didn't break anything. As I continued to check what that spark might have done, I saw a small satellite symbol blinking in the corner. I had the map back!

"You know, uh, I actually opened a Vault once. Went from Hyperion Accountant to Vault, uh, Guy to Bandit Warchief. It's a long but very touching story. Hey, I'll tell you about it some time over some questionably-sourced meat! Me and my bandit clan were living over in the wreckage of Helios station, and Hector shows up and ordered us to give him our moonshot cannons, but we said, HELL NO, WE WON'T BRO! And then that, that didn't work out too well. We tried fighting off Hector's New Pandora soldiers, but we were no match for 'em. I probably should've armed my clan with more than presentation-grade Hyperion laser pointers. Lesson learned, I guess." Vaughn said over the ECHO. Hold up. Was he the guy we'd been doing recon on until Lilith thought all the Hyperion people were harmless enough and we should just let them be? Wild.

"Me and the survivors regrouped here. We were getting ready to retake Helios when Hector launched a gas attack and turned everyone but me into vine-freaks. Now that dude Hector is walkin' around like he's Mega-President-King of Pandora or whatever. Y'know, Pandora's like air, or meat, or underwear. It's meant to be shared! Man, you reset relays like it's your day job! Which would be almost as bad as being a Hyperion accountant." he kept talking. I heard Mordecai take a deep breath.

"He sure talks a lot." was all he said.

"So he does. Anything interesting yet?" I wanted to know of him. He shook his head and kept looking through his scope.

"Not really. There's a bandit camp nearby, small enough. There seems to be some sort of mine entrance, that might look interesting. And it looks like we're close to Mount Scarab." he answered.

"Nice! Now you can reboot the last relay. We'll have that old firewall A-FLAMIN' in no time! And if any of my clan survived, they'll come running when they see a fire! They always do! It's hilarious." we heard Vaughn say over the ECHO. It almost seemed like Pandora was getting to him more than he'd admit. It probably was a massive culture shock, going from Hyperion accountant to this.

"You did it! If Hector sends more vine-freaks, we'll be ready for 'em. Gah, it's one of those vine-freaks! Kill it, stab it, shoot it! Sweet kill! Now, let's chat blood pact!"

I heard a sigh coming from the ECHO after that, but I wasn't sure who it was. Definitely not Gaige, she'd sound more dramatic.

"Lil? I think we might have found a place. You wanna come and head over here?" Maya said next.

"On my way." Lilith replied curtly.

"Well, I never thought I'd team up with a filthy, smelly Vault Hunter like you, but desperate vine-freak-gas-turning-times call for desperate measures. Screw that home-thief Hector! You and I are gonna mess that dude up! Bloooooooood pact!" Vaughn said, as if it was a compliment he had just given us.

"Did he just call us filthy and smelly?" Mordecai asked.

"I think he did." I answered, trying to subtly smell my armpits. Okay, maybe right now that was true, but we had working water in Sanctuary and took regular showers. None of us were filthy and smelly. Only sometimes.

"Sup, killers. Good work finding a camp. Guess this'll be our home while we figure out how to take back Sanctuary." I heard Lilith's voice. I quickly checked the map and saw that she was with the others now, just walking towards them.

"Uh, this is MY camp?" Vaughn protested.

"Hey Lil, step back if you don't want to get any bandit on ya." I heard Ellie's voice on the other end. Thank God she was okay!

"Easy, easy! We can share! Hey, wanna take a spin in my lucky underwear?"

"I'm listening."

Okay, this Vaughn guy might be weird, but he seemed pretty harmless. Not much of a bandit king, after all. Unless you'd count his dead Hyperion colleagues as bandits. Which they weren't. Not really.

"I'm gonna teleport back to Sanctuary and try to take Hector out. Maybe there's still time to fix this." Lilith said.

"Is she insane? She's teleported so much already!" Mordecai commented.

"You know, Lil. And unfortunately there is no voice of reason with them to stop her, so..." I replied, hoping to God Lilith wasn't gonna do anything stupid while we were gone. Because she totally would. I heard her coughing on the other end.

"Not gonna happen. I can't get to him. Sanctuary's flooded with that gas. Tannis, can you... I dunno, whip us up an antidote?" she asked next. I let out a sigh of relief. Thank God she could see for herself it was a dumb idea.

"Of course. I will first need to discover the nature of these mutations. Send me some plant genitalia. I believe they are called flowers at your reading level." Tannis replied in her usual condescending tone.

"What she said. Let's get it done." Lilith said.