Chapter 10
Emily's POV…
When he was leaning me against the wall my mind was telling me to leave. When he was kissing me in that way that only he had ever done my heart was given to given. It kept me from leaving. Edward knew that, I could tell by the way he touched me, but also by the gentle way he handled me compared to other times. He didn't toss me or give orders like before, but instead, he merely laid me on the bed, and with his hands still on my body he didn't stop kissing me. He began to remove my clothes and I was defenseless to stop him. I didn't want to though as I gave myself to him for what I kept promising myself would be the last time. This time was different from the times before though. Maybe because it would be our last time together and I knew that. Maybe because my mind was running to fast to become lost in him the way I'd always done before. I noticed it most though as he was taking off my clothes. I didn't hear the tattered sound of the cloth before ripped from my body because for the first time he didn't do that. Edward removed each piece slowly, gently taking his time, and it was then I realized he was savoring this moment as much as I was. It somehow brought us closer in that moment as our kiss deepened and I wanted desperately to be closer to him.
When our kiss finally broke, I was already too far gone to even think of leaving. I was laying naked in his bed and he was looking down at me suddenly with those eyes that made my heart pound. He was still fully clothed, but without a word his clothes started to join mine on the floor. He stood up for only a moment, leaving me lying there to watch him, and I could feel the anticipation thrumming in my veins as he undressed in front of me. It could have been because this was our farewell, but as I waited for him, I was lonely at the thought even as I prepared for him to join me on the bed where he'd made love to me so many times before. I had no regrets and I didn't want to undo any of it when it came to him as I waited for him in that moment. Instead, I only moved higher up into the bed, and I waited for him. I watched him take off his clothes and when he joined me on the bed, I spread my legs, and let him lay between them. When I wrapped my arms around his neck, I played with the hairs at the nape of his neck, and as I did, I couldn't help thinking that this was the closest we'd ever been. Where before we'd been two lovers together and apart at the same time, now, somehow, we were linked eternally. There was no other way to be and no going back to the places we had been before we met. As the thought filled my mind, we never looked away from each other, and even as I knew this would be our last time together, I was reluctant to leave him. I knew he would try to keep me from leaving or walking away, but there was no going back as I enjoyed this closeness for the first and last time. When he took my hand in his, slowly I let the other hand find his cheek, and all while he was still looking at me.
"I do love you" whispered Edward, I knew he meant it as I looked at him. I didn't know if I should say it back until I kissed him. When he pulled away, our lips mere inches from each other, he was still looking at him. I was breathing heavy, trying to catch my breath, but when I took his face in my hands to look him intently in the eye, I wasn't completely sure why I was doing it. In the same moment, I felt his grip on my hips somehow tighten, and he was holding me closer. He looked like he wanted to kiss me again, but he didn't. Instead, he only watched me as if to see what I would do, and after a moment I noticed the way he leaned into my hands as I held his face in them.
"I know you love me…I think I've always known even when you had the worst way of showing it. And I do love you too…even if I still don't understand any of the things I've seen since meeting you" I whispered my voice wavering as my hands left his face to return to the place around his neck. He didn't say anything about what I said. He was always only looking at me and as I looked right back, I thought again that there was no going back. We couldn't go back to the man he'd been who used to rip my clothes off. I couldn't go back to being the girl who he knocked to the ground. We had changed each other from who we'd been to something else now that even I didn't quite know about. Yet even as I thought that I didn't care about the person he had been or who I had been because it didn't matter right now. Not in this moment where we were just to people in need of each other. It didn't matter because we could have this moment. We would have this moment.
With that thought, I kissed him with more forwardness then I'd ever showed before. As I did, he kissed me right back as his hands covered my body in a slow exploration, but that was what this was supposed to be. Our slow burn as our fire went out. I didn't want our time together to end this way and I sensed he didn't either as he touched me with a lover's fingers. We both wanted this moment to linger like magic as if it would give us something to hold onto, so that someday we could look back on this with a glow of happiness in our eyes. I wanted that for us both as his hands continued their path over my body.
"He doesn't know this will be our last time together, but I do" I thought it, but I didn't let that thought linger as the first stages of our lovemaking began. He didn't really need to know that because somehow, I knew this moment would be different if he did. He would be trying to convince me to stay now if he did, but that wasn't how I wanted this passion between us to end. I wanted to remember him fondly in the years to pass. Only once I knew that did I break our kiss, so I could look into his eyes.
"I will always love you, Edward…I may not love Jekyll, but I love you. It doesn't matter who you are or who's inside of you. Always remember that whatever may happen or befall us…I love you" I exclaimed, not really sure why I was saying it. Yes, I had decided our fate, decided what would happen after tonight, but what I said was the truth. I couldn't see myself loving anyone else. I needed him to know how I felt even as our story was coming to an end. Because that would always be our truth, my truth, and his. To me that was all that mattered in that moment.
"Touch me…make love to me" I whispered receiving my response when he kissed me on a breath. When he did that, I let any other thoughts on anything else fall away and I merely embraced this moment with him. Everything stopped, there was only him and I, and we wanted the same thing. To have this moment. To be just us as we had been before Jekyll decided to reveal the truth to me that day. Nothing had been the same after that and for a moment, right then it was again. He was Edward Hyde and I was the woman he chose to share his passion with. We had been that once and we were again as his lips captured mine with their usual ferocity that I found in that moment that I had missed. I only wanted to be with him. I held him to me as he filled me then never ending our kiss. And again, this moment was not like our usual passion filled encounters. He always just made love to me with swift movements until suddenly before I knew what was happening, we were falling over into passion. That wasn't this moment, where instead as he filled me his lips pulled away from mine, and we were looking at each other. He was looking at me with a shine of something heavy in his eyes. He had never looked at me this way and I cherished that as I realized why he was looking at me this way. Because he was doing the same thing I was. He was cherishing this moment, cherishing me, and that made me love him more somehow as I looked with my heart completely his into his eyes.
Edward didn't move as he looked at me.
"You are the only real person I've ever cared for. I never thought I could before I knocked into you that night. I never thought I could love someone until I found you" whispered Edward his hands firm as they held my sides as he looked at me with eyes filled with a determined honesty. He had never treated me delicately, but in that moment, he did. In that moment, he showed me that he loved me. He made love to me with my arms around him and his eyes always watching me as if taking in my every reaction. He never took his eyes off me and I was keenly aware of it as he touched me always with his firm yet tender touch that I found more alluring as he made love to me. I found myself reveling in his touch in that moment, more so then I had before, and I was fascinated by that as he did it. And as he did it, I was falling more in love with him somehow as he did it.
"Edward" I said his name with a type of reverence as he touched me, his hands cupping my breasts as my own hands fell to linger at the slope of his shoulders.
He said my name in response and I reacted to the sound of it as he moved inside of me. My lips parted on a sigh that turned into a moan that he heard. I wanted to throw my head back and revel in this moment, but I didn't. I couldn't take my eyes off him as my lips parted more to tell him of the passion, he was building within me.
"Emily, my heart" whispered Edward in that moment holding me with soft fingers as we became one in that moment something we'd never been before. I always responded to his words and now was no different. I found myself holding tightly onto him. I pressed myself close to him as my legs parted more to hold him right where he was. He seemed to revel in that as he made love to me in that moment treating me as just what he'd just said. I was his heart, in his heart, and I knew that as I looked into his eyes. I was his world then and that did something to me as I watched him closely in that moment.
"I love you, Edward" I whispered it as I looked at him. I needed to say it in that moment as he continued to bury himself inside me. There was magic all around us then as he made love to me and even as I knew what was happening to us that this would be our last moment, I still wanted him for my own as we shared this moment. His eyes had never left me, and they didn't then either.
I kept telling him I loved him as we made love. My lips were at his ear as I pressed my chest into his. The words made him growl in that way that was always his and with my arm tight around his neck, I felt him slam his body into mine hard. A heavy breath left me then and I found myself declaring my love for him on that same breath.
"I love you" I whispered my legs gripping his waist as they lay spread around him as the rest of my body stuck to him in our passion, but even as I clung to him, somehow, I wasn't close enough. I looked at him and I didn't know what I wanted. I was with the man I wanted, the man I loved, and yet I didn't have all of him. Jekyll would always be able to claim part of him. I was always aware of that, but never more then in that moment as I looked at him. It was then that I knew what I wanted. Something more then this with him. Something beautiful, tender, and that would remain just between him and I. I came with the thought of what I wanted floating like snow flurries in my brain. A haze of pleasure filled me as my face fell forward to nestle in the crook of his neck. I breathed him in then as I shivered in the aftermath of my pleasure. I ingrained him in my memory so I could think back on this someday and with that thought, suddenly, I opened my eyes. I looked up at him as he continued to move inside me, and I knew what I wanted. I knew exactly what that was, and I was prepared to take it. Because as I lay shivering in my pleasure, he had hovered over me, always making love to me, and always watching. When he did this, it was like I was his, his heart, his girl, and the one he loved. He was declaring himself for me and as I looked at him, I found I wanted that. To claim him as what he was. The man I loved who loved me back. And I knew if I wanted that that I would have to be bold and take what I wanted.
I wanted to make him mine just once before everything was over between us. I wanted to watch him as he was watching me right now. To see the reaction, I caused in him as we made love. I wanted to hover over him and move my body over his to see what he'd think of me as I took control of him. I wanted to be his and have him be mine. Just once. And this truly was the last chance I would ever have to do that. I wanted his eyes on me as I brought us both pleasure in this way.
"Emily…I need you" whispered Edward saying it with a quiver that told me just how close he was to spilling over when I grabbed his shoulders again preparing to set my plan into motion. Before he could stop me, I laid him down like he had done me only moments before and breaking our kiss I got what I wanted. Letting him settle inside me for just a moment, I laid my hands on his chest, and I made love to him.
"Emily" said Edward, the way he said my name spurring something within me as I watched his reaction part of me feeling surprised as he took my hands with his bringing them to his lips. He kept saying my name in that moment as they held his face then his shoulders as I moved over him in my way. He was watching me now, like I had been before, and as I watched him, I saw it. His love for me shined in his eyes with a deep passion that I'd never seen before. I promised to remember that look as I continued to make love to him.
"Edward" I said his name when we came together, my body rocking into his before he captured my lips as his body suddenly arched up to hold onto mine. We kissed in the aftermath of it all until he laid on the bed.
"Emily" whispered Edward holding me close, my body still atop his as he left my body as we laid just next to each other.
There was a warm look in his eyes as we laid facing each other. I brought my hand to his face and without hesitation I kissed him.
"Stay with me" whispered Edward bringing his arm to fold around me as if that would keep me from leaving if I wanted to.
"I'll stay" I whispered though I didn't tell him how long, but he didn't ask. What I said seemed to ease something inside him because suddenly he buried his head in my chest.
I cradled him in my arms, and I savored this moment. When Edward fell asleep, I didn't leave right away. When I left the bed and dressed, I didn't either. I wrote him a letter, in it I told him the truth of our situation, and when I left it for him to find, I didn't leave right away. I stood by the door watching him, knowing it would be the last time I ever saw him, and then I walked out the door. When I did, I knew there was no going back this time.