Summary:

Sam just wants to do the right thing, and Dean just wants Sam home and safe. Castiel just wants to keep Sam from killing Lilith, and Bobby just wants everyone to stop acting stupid.

Liam just wants his family to be together again. That's all he ever wants, and he doesn't understand why it's so hard to make that happen. But he won't complain. He'll just wait and do his best to be good and hope things all pan out in the end.

"You're not going to spend the whole trip staring longingly at your phone, are you?"

Sam glared faintly, but he couldn't quite muster up the anger to tell Ruby to shut up. Instead, he turned his phone over in his hands again, staring at the power button and trying to decide if he should press it.

"Just do it. What's the worst that could happen?"

Sam snorted. "I could change my mind." He shook his head, snapping the lifeless phone shut. "I just keep thinking… maybe Dean was right."

"Right about what?" Ruby asked, glancing over from the driver's seat.

"Everything." Sam ran a hand through his hair and looked out the window. "I don't know. Draining an entire person?"

"You're gonna need more juice than I can give you." Ruby kept her eyes on the road while she spoke, but she seemed sincere. "You had to know it wasn't going to be as easy as the other demons you've killed."

"I guess I was trying not to think about it." Sam put his head against the window with a sigh. "Where are we going to find someone to drain?"

"We know Lilith is in Ilchester." Ruby glanced over at him. "We find the local hospital, and we'll find her personal chef working in labor and delivery. We can get Lilith's exact location out of her, drain her, and get it done." She offered a small smile. "You'll be back with Liam this time tomorrow."

Sam let out a soft sigh and looked at the phone in his hands again. I can't turn it back on. If he did, Dean would talk him out of killing Lilith. And if Dean couldn't, just hearing Liam's voice would take away Sam's ability to commit cold-blooded murder.

It's not cold-blooded. It has a purpose. This has to be done.

He continued the mantra in his head, trying to convince himself he was making the right move. He tried, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw Liam, and all he could think about was how dirty his hands would be the next time he picked Liam up.

I have to do this.

Sam tossed his phone in the ashtray and looked out the window.

I have to.

Dean swung his arm back and threw it forward, releasing the bowling ball at the perfect moment to send it flying down the lane. It struck the pins, knocking down seven but leaving him with a split.

"Ha! You're stuck!"

Dean turned around and spread his arms, approaching Liam. "What, you think I can't get a split?"

Liam shook his head with a grin, twisting his foot against the slick floor.

Dean sighed. "Yeah, you're probably right." He smiled then, grabbing the dark green ball as it came out of the machine. "But I'll still give it a shot."

Dean turned around and faced the lane, holding the ball up near his chest. He swung it back as he took a few steps, and then he swung it forward, watching it go down the glossy aisle.

It missed all the pins.

Dean and Liam both laughed as Dean turned around and walked back to the waiting area. Dean sat down with a heavy sigh and settled in to watch Liam take his turn, his thoughts immediately wandering to the wounded angel they had left at the hospital.

Visiting Castiel was easy, but without proof that they were family, the hospital was keeping pretty quiet on Castiel's physical condition. Of course, Dean could tell just by looking that it wasn't good. There were cuts and bruises all over Castiel's face, neck, and arms that were probably a preview of what covered his entire body, and the whole 'comatose' bit was a clue.

Dean had offered ID and explained that they were cousins—hence the different last name—but either the hospital had strict rules or the nurse was shrewd and knew something wasn't right. She said she couldn't give information to anyone but a first-degree family member, and it wasn't until later that Dean thought of a way around that barrier. By then, it was too late to change his story.

"Dean, it's your turn!"

Dean pulled himself from his thoughts and got to his feet, looking down the lane just as the machine knocked the four pins over. "Hey, you did pretty good."

Liam smiled as he sat down on the chair across from Dean. "Thanks."

Dean got up and grabbed his green ball. He walked toward the lane, and as his body started going through the motions of rolling the ball, he drifted back down into his thoughts.

Sam's right about us needing his powers to get out of this mess for good. I didn't want to admit it, but… without Sam's power, we have no long-term plan for dealing with Lilith. Do we really want to be running from demons and fearing more supernatural kidnappings for the rest of Liam's life? It's bad enough we have to worry about losing each other to the job, but…

"Dean! You got a strike!"

Dean took a split second to register what was said, and then he threw his hands in the air. "Hey!" He turned around and bowed theatrically. "Thank you, thank you. I hope you enjoyed watching a master."

Liam laughed and got to his feet, going for his own, bright red ball.

Dean moved away from the lane and sat down again, watching Liam and trying to keep himself from getting lost in thought again. Liam was too observant not to have already seen it, but Dean could still do his best to try and keep it from doing any kind of damage.

Liam's ball hit the pins, knocking down at least half, and Dean held his hand out for a high-five.

"Good one!"

Liam high-fived Dean and then moved in for a hug.

Dean quickly maneuvered his arms around Liam and returned the hug, a curious quirk in his brow. "What was that for?"

"Nothing. I just love you." Liam smiled, planted a kiss on Dean's cheek, and then moved toward the machine to await his ball.

Dean smiled to himself, an incredulous huff of laughter passing his lips.

You're something special kid.

Liam threw his ball down the lane again.

You're really something special.

"What do you mean Sam didn't come home last night?"

Dean could only imagine how he looked, standing in the hospital lobby with a kid on his hip and a phone to his ear, trying to help Castiel sign the necessary forms to leave against medical advice. He probably looked like SuperDad; Full House meets House M.D.

"What do you think I mean?" Bobby snapped from the other end of the line. "I mean he didn't come home last night. I thought maybe he went to a bar to unwind since Liam's with you, but it's after lunch, and he's still not back."

Dean wanted to curse out loud but couldn't, for obvious reasons. He also wanted to explain the Lilith situation to Bobby but couldn't, for obvious reasons. Of course, he also couldn't leave Bobby in the dark, for obvious reasons.

"Sam can't—" Dean sighed, pulling the phone away from his ear for a moment and bending his knees. "Okay, buddy, you gotta stand on your own. I can't hold you anymore."

Liam slid down Dean's leg and stood right next to him, sticking close and looking worried.

Dean put the phone back against his ear and lowered his voice to a whisper so the receptionist wouldn't hear. "Ruby gave Sam a lead on Lilith. I told him not to follow it, but he obviously didn't listen."

Bobby cursed, and Castiel tensed up where he stood.

Dean made a note, but he was hardly going to ask Castiel for an honest answer with normal people around. Mixing Castiel, honest answers, and the public sphere was a recipe for disaster.

"Your name." Dean tapped the paper. "Sign it. James Novak. Go." He tapped it again when Castiel looked confused, and then he put his attention back on his phone. "I take it you tried to call him."

"It's going straight to voicemail."

Dean swore and immediately put a hand on Liam's head. "Sorry, bud." He ran a hand through his hair, fighting the urge to take the pen from Castiel and sign the papers himself. "Keep calling him, Bobby. We'll be on the road in ten minutes." He snapped the phone shut and shoved it into his pocket.

Castiel signed the last paper and handed the stack over to the receptionist.

Liam tugged on Dean's jacket sleeve. "Dean, I'm really hungry."

"I know, bud." Dean heaved a sigh and pulled Liam in for a quick side hug. "We'll stop somewhere to get something." He looked at the receptionist and nodded in Castiel's direction. "Is that all you need from him?"

"That's all for the papers," she said, taking said papers and clipping them together. "We just need his insurance information, and then we're good to go."

Dean grabbed his wallet, nudging Castiel on the arm. "Go sit down awhile. Catch your breath." He handed the card over and waited for the inevitable question.

"I see your last names are different. What's your relationship to the patient?"

"We're cousins. His folks died in a house fire when he was twelve, so my wife and I took him in. He kept his name, but he's on our insurance plan." That was the story he should have used when trying to get information about Castiel's condition, but strokes of genius rarely arrived on schedule.

Liam tugged on Dean's jacket sleeve again. "Dean, is there a Wendy's nearby?"

Dean shook his head. "I don't know, buddy. We'll look for one, okay?"

Liam nodded and once again grew un-obstructive, staying close to Dean but being careful to stay out of the way.

"Here you go, Mr. Walsh."

Dean took his insurance card from the woman behind the counter and put it back in his wallet. "Thanks." He folded the wallet up and shoved it in his pocket, taking a look around and quickly finding Castiel in the lobby chair closest to the doors.

"Come on, bud." Dean gave Liam a little nudge on the back, and they walked over to where Castiel was. "You're gonna need some help walking." It wasn't really a question, but he waited for Castiel to nod, anyway. "Kay. Liam, I need you to hold onto my jacket when we cross the street, because I've got to help Cas." Crap. I was supposed to say Jimmy.

Whatever. If anybody asked, Dean would make something up about a nickname. If Sam could become Sorzie, James could become Cas.

"Dean." Castiel grunted as he got to his feet, and he grunted again when his arm was dragged around Dean's shoulders. "We have to stop Sam."

"Yeah, no kidding," Dean snapped, keeping his voice down.

Castiel shook his head, wincing as they walked toward the exit. "No, you don't understand. He—" Castiel broke off and bit down on his lip, canting forward slightly.

"Woah, easy." Dean tried to keep Castiel upright and keep himself from bumping Liam in the head. "Let's get to Baby first, then we'll talk."

They got outside, and Liam clung to Dean's jacket like he had been told when they walked across the street. Once they were close enough to the car, Liam broke away and got in on the passenger side while Dean carefully helped Castiel into the backseat.

He's in really bad shape.

Castiel slumped forward in the seat, exhausted by the short jaunt from the hospital to the car. "Dean… Lilith isn't going to… break the final seal."

"Hold that thought." Dean slammed the door, checked traffic, and then got in on the driver's side. "What did you say?"

Castiel tried to catch his breath. "Lilith isn't going to break… the final seal." He shook his head, a thin sheen of sweat forming on his brow. "She is the final seal. If she dies… the end begins."

Dean managed to keep himself from cursing that time around, but that didn't mean he didn't think about it. "Dangit, Cas. If you—" He stopped short, glancing at Liam, and then he heaved a defeated sigh. "You're lucky you're on our side now."

Castiel didn't say anything, choosing instead to hang his head in silence.

Dean looked at Liam, who was also silent but looking significantly more worried, and he let out another sigh. "Let's get food first. Bobby's going to keep calling Sam, and Cas, you're gonna keep talking."

Castiel leaned forward between the two front seats, slouched against the passenger side. "What would you like to know?"

"Where Sam is headed, for starters." Dean couldn't quite keep the cold edge out of his tone, but he didn't want to be too angry in front of Liam. "Where is Ruby taking him?"

Castiel wet his lips and shook his head. "I only know it is as St. Mary's Convent."

Dean threw his hands up incredulously. "Do you have any idea how many St. Mary's Convents there are in the United States?"

Castiel flinched slightly.

Dean took a breath and let it out, running a hand through his hair. "Okay. St. Mary's Convent. What else can you tell me?"

Castiel shook his head weakly. "That's all I know."

"Really, Cas?" Dean glared at the rearview mirror. "Are you really toeing the company line right now?"

Castiel's face screwed up in a brief expression of confusion, but then he shook his head seriously. "Dean, they didn't tell me. They saw how close I was getting to you and your family, and…" He sighed. "I don't know when the information started going bad. But I know St. Mary's Convent was something mentioned before I even got you out of Hell, and I've always known what Lilith's role was."

Dean took a deep breath and tried to keep himself calm. He was angry and frustrated—mostly because he didn't know how to help Sam—but he couldn't deny that Castiel had more than paid his dues. Castiel had been tortured for up to five months—maybe more, if time worked differently in Heaven the way it did in Hell—and he looked miserable. He had done the right thing, at great personal cost, and he wasn't refusing to help now that he had experienced the consequences. He was trying, which was more than Sam was doing, so Dean couldn't be angry at him.

Dean could, however, be angry at Sam.

He knows better. I know he knows better. Even if Lilith wasn't the seal, he wasn't ready.

Dean glanced at Liam.

I know he wants to get Liam safe as soon as possible, but this is crazy.

"It's alright, Cas. You did good." Dean heaved a sigh and put the car in drive. "Let's get some food and then get back to Bobby's. We'll… figure everything out after that."

Liam turned around in his seat and looked at Castiel, resting his chin on the back of the seat. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Castiel forced a small smile and nodded. "I'm fine, Liam. Thank you."

Dean glanced at Castiel in the rearview mirror, but he couldn't tell much about Castiel's condition. He seemed conscious enough, but he was definitely tired, and his hand never quite left his lower-right abdomen.

"Seatbelt, buddy." Dean tapped Liam on the shoulder as he pulled away from the curb. "We've got a long way to go."

Liam quickly got his seatbelt on. "Castiel, put your seatbelt on."

Dean had to smile to himself, just a little. He had to smile at the notion of a little boy telling an angel to put his seatbelt on. He had to smile a little more at Castiel struggling to put on the seatbelt, probably having no idea what he was doing but wanting to make Liam happy.

He had to smile because he needed one.

"Okay." Dean put his hands at ten and two and grabbed the wheel. "Here we go."

"I don't know if I can do this, Ruby." Sam watched the nurse walk into the hospital with a sick twist in his gut.

Ruby leaned back against the side of the hospital building, arms folded over her chest. "We've been over this. I wouldn't tell you we need it if it wasn't absolutely necessary. I know how delicate you are."

Sam snorted derisively. "Sure." He folded his arms and drew them in close, shoulders slightly hunched. He didn't like the idea of killing the host, even if he had done it a million times before. It was different, going after someone and kidnapping them… draining them slowly… and the demon would likely leave the human in control during the murder, trying to get under Sam's skin.

"If we don't stop her, she's going to take a baby for Lilith to feed on." Ruby mentioned it in an offhanded manner, but Sam knew the comment stemmed from her inability to go five seconds without conniving. "Its her or the baby. Make a choice."

"Alright, fine," Sam snapped. "Let's get her and get out of here."

Ruby pushed off the wall and walked toward the hospital, assuming Sam would follow.

Sam almost did, but he stopped short and grabbed his phone from his pocket. He looked at the screen, wondering how many calls and voicemails he had already missed.

Maybe I should call him… try to explain…

"Sam! You coming or what?"

Sam shoved his phone back into his pocket and followed Ruby toward the building. "Okay, okay. Let's go." He could check his phone later.

"I just wish I could speak with Sam."

Dean glanced up from his phone and looked across the table at Castiel. "No kidding."

Castiel shook his head and pulled his blanket around his shoulders a little tighter. "She knew, you know. Ruby knew. She knew about us taking Liam, and she knew I was tricking you—"

Dean's interest was piqued at that, and he set his phone aside to put his attention on Castiel.

"She summoned me—the wench—to give me advice on how to lie to you." Castiel ran a hand through his hair and then covered his eyes, rubbing his face. "I just wish I could tell Sam; I wish I had told him when I had the chance." He dropped his hand to his lap and sighed, tired eyes lingering vacantly on the center of the kitchen table. "This is all my fault."

Dean didn't say anything for a moment, but then he reluctantly shook his head and offered a quiet, "It's not that simple, Cas. We all played parts." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sam wouldn't have been vulnerable to her in the first place if I hadn't left him."

Castiel reached up and rubbed his forehead. "If I still had my powers, I could locate him. I could—I could do something, but—"

Dean shook his head. "Cas." He sighed. "You can't think like that. You gotta focus on what you can do."

"Which is what?" Castiel objected, his voice bursting out in quiet shout. "I can't do anything, Dean. I am functionally human for an undetermined amount of time. I can't help you."

"Hey, now. Humans aren't that useless." Dean offered a faint smile. "You can help like a human, and maybe…" He sighed. "Maybe that'll be enough."

Castiel gave Dean a judging look. "And how likely do you think that is?"

Dean shook his head. "Not at all." He looked at his phone and pressed the green button to call Sam for the thirtieth time. "But we have to try." He shrugged a 'screw it' kind of shrug and pressed the button.

Liam pushed Castiel's hair back and pet it a few times, trying to do it the way Sam would, and then he sat down and criss-crossed his legs. He sat in silence and watched Castiel's sleeping face with worry on his own.

I wonder if he's having bad dreams.

Liam let out a sigh and looked over at the cluttered desk Bobby had been using to research Sam's location. Why did you leave again? More importantly, why didn't Sam want him anymore?

After all the pain and stress of being kidnapped, and then of being home with Bobby but unable to find Sam and Dean, how could Sam leave him again? What had Liam done that was so terrible?

"I know that face."

Liam turned and looked up at Dean, and when he blinked, he felt a tear run down his cheek. He hadn't even realized he was crying.

Dean crouched down and then eased into a sitting position, crossing his legs the way Liam had. "That's your 'bad thoughts' face."

Liam reached up and wiped his eyes, sniffing lightly. "Yeah."

Dean frowned sympathetically. "What kinda bad thoughts are you having?"

Liam shrugged his shoulders, looking down at his lap. "I dunno." That wasn't really a lie; he didn't know what exact thought he was having. He just knew there were vague ideas and emotions. "Why is Sam gone?"

Dean heaved a sigh and ran his hand through his hair, rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh, buddy… Sam's confused."

Liam blinked and sniffed, slouching against the sofa. "What does that mean?"

Dean wet his lips and rubbed his neck a few more times before dropping his hands into his lap. "It means Sam thinks he's doing the right thing. He's… he's trying to fight this really bad demon who's been after us for a long time, and… and it's a good thing. But he's not talking to us, and that's not good. He needs his family—just like I do, and just like you do."

"We have to stick together," Liam said seriously. He had learned, at least with Sam, that things worked better when he relied on family. "Things go bad when we do it alone."

"Exactly." Dean offered a weak smile and reached out, tousling Liam's hair. "We gotta stick together, and… Sam knows that, he just… isn't thinking right now."

"Because he's twitterpated?" Liam sniffed, and then, after a little pause, "I heard you talking about Ruby."

Dean didn't say anything for a moment, and then he offered another small smile. "Something like that, buddy." He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck again. "Sam is just… in a difficult place right now. He's having bad thoughts of his own, and… and he's making some bad choices because of it."

Liam wiped at his eyes a little and blinked a few times to clear away the tears. "So, what do we do?"

"Well, we have to find him first." Dean reached out and nudge Liam's cheek with a smile. "And then we have to remind him how much we love him. And we need to tell him it's time to come home."

Liam looked down at his lap, thinking for a few moments before quietly asking, "We all still love him, right?"

Dean's expression looked hurt for a moment, but then he managed to put a little smile on his face. "Yeah, buddy. We all still love Sam and want him to come home."

Liam nodded, and he felt a little better about the situation. Maybe Sam wasn't trying to leave Liam; maybe Sam needed saving again, like he did in the house with the ghouls.

"How do we find him, Dee?"

Dean let out a sigh and shook his head. "We keep researching. St. Mary's Convent until we get a hit. We keep trying to call him."

Liam nodded his head and looked back at Castiel, who was still sound asleep. "Castiel can't help?" he asked, turning his head back toward Dean.

"No, buddy." Dean shook his head. "Castiel is human until he gets better." He gave a tight smile, and when he reached out to tousle Liam's hair, there was a stiffness to his movements that hadn't been there before. "He can't help right now."

Liam looked at Dean for a long moment, and then he put a hand on Dean's knee. "Are you okay?" he asked, peering up with wide, blue eyes.

Dean wet his lips and smiled. "I'm fine, buddy."

Liam wasn't sure that was true, but he didn't want to argue, so he smiled and put his hand back in his own lap. "Okay." He glanced at Castiel to make sure he was okay, and then he looked back at Dean. "I love you."

Dean smiled and leaned forward, planting a quick kiss on Liam's forehead. "I love you, too, buddy." He tweaked Liam's nose. "And so does Sam."

Liam wasn't sure that was true, either, but he still didn't want to argue. He just smiled and nodded his head, hoping Dean was right and Sam wasn't trying to run away.

Maybe I can give Sam a call on my phone… in case he's mad at Dean or Bobby.

Liam kept that idea to himself for the time being. He wasn't sure Dean would approve, and he didn't want to take a chance. He had to do something to help them get Sam back home.

He had to.