Author's Note: Hey, everyone. For those of you reading this as it comes out, I'm sorry it's been so long since I updated. Obviously, you all know what the state of the world has looked like lately, and that definitely has been a contributing factor. But I also lost a family member recently and things have been very tough. I appreciate your patience and am honestly so thankful for all of you who have continued reading this far. I really hope you all enjoy this chapter. Please remember to leave a review if you can.
That night Hotaru slept on a bamboo mat, under a roof, with a blanket and a full belly. She was warmer, more comfortable, and better fed than she had been since she had left home. Rin curled up next to her. The walls around them provided a sense of safety and security that was impossible to achieve in the forest. Yet Hotaru couldn't sleep. She lay awake for most of the night, watching the embers glow in the tiny fire pit. It filled the one room house with a dim, warm light, illuminating the slumbering faces of her newest companions. Lady Kikyo, Lord Sesshomaru, and now these people; once again Hotaru had found herself thrust into a new situation, with new people to figure out, and a new normal to adjust to. Only now she didn't have Kohaku to face it with.
When she did manage to sleep, her dreams were dark and disjointed. There was a dark, looming shadow that plagued every unconscious moment. Hotaru could sense an overwhelming evil presence very close to her.
Her eyes snapped open. She was covered in a cold sweat. Her heart was pounding as if she had run a marathon. Her skin was crawling. Suddenly, the cozy little house that had felt so safe just hours before felt suffocating. Her cheeks burned as if she had a fever.
Hotaru knew she wouldn't be able to sleep anymore that night. She pulled away from Rin and went to sit outside. Jaken was asleep right outside the door. Hotaru sat down next to him and looked up at the sky. Saturn was just barely visible tonight, her silent guardian. She could always tell exactly where it was relative to Earth, even if it was on the other side of the sun. She could feel it, cold and distant. The dead planet. It's appearance in the sky was a comfort and a curse. She would be at her strongest now. She would have to be especially careful. Her parents weren't here to ground her. She felt so hopelessly alone.
She watched the sky until it began to lighten with the first gray hints of dawn. Birds started waking and calling out to each other. Soon the sun began to peak over the horizon. The daylight did nothing to calm the fears raging inside Hotaru's chest. If anything, she felt even more out of place as the village woke around her.
It wasn't long after the sun rose before Rin came looking for her.
"There you are!" said Rin, "I was afraid you left, too!"
Hotaru shook her head. "Don't worry. I just needed some air."
She stood up and followed Rin back inside. The others were up and about. Lady Kaede was passing out breakfast, which was the same stew from the night before.
Hotaru went to Kohaku's side. He didn't stir when she touched his hand. The putrid aura radiating from his jewel shard nearly overpowered her. Once more, she tried to heal him. She closed her eyes and braced herself for the backlash she had experienced the day before. Immediately her energy protested. Once more, pain shot up her arm. She tried to push through it. Her muscles screamed as she attempted to push her energy past the block.
"Hotaru, stop!" Rin cried.
Hotaru lost her concentration. Her muscles seized up and she had to pull away. The others were staring at her. She didn't care. She just wanted her friend back.
"Tis natural for ye to want to help ye friend." Lady Kaede said, "But ye mustn't do it at the expense of ye own health."
Hotaru was confused for a moment as to what the old priestess was talking about. Then she felt a trickle coming from her nose. She wiped it with the back of her hand. Blood smeared across her skin. She hadn't expended that much energy, had she? She felt lightheaded. Healing was the one thing that had always been easy. It shouldn't have triggered a nose bleed. Not this quickly.
Kagome handed Hotaru a handkerchief. Hotaru wiped her face without a word. She remembered the conversation from the night before. Kagome was also having trouble with her spiritual powers. A moment of understanding and sympathy passed between the two of them.
"So, Inuyasha," Miroku said. "Who was that demon that you fought last night?"
"He said his name was Magatsuhi." Inuyasha said. "And that he was the 'evil will' of the Shikon Jewel, whatever the hell that means."
"The evil will of the Shikon Jewel?" repeated Miroku. The others looked at the monk, it was clear that he was the intellectual of the group. He seemed to be constantly taking in and processing the information coming from the world around them and breaking it down for the others.
He's probably the most educated in demon lore. He is a monk after all. Hotaru reflected.
"What do you think that means, Miroku?" Sango asked.
Miroku's face was grim as he contemplated this information.
"We know the Shikon Jewel can be pure or corrupt based on who possesses it." The monk finally responded, "If it has become so defiled that the wicked spirits within it have been able to escape the Jewel itself and manifest...then it means we are in a great deal more trouble than we previously thought."
And that's what's possessing Kohaku's shard. Hotaru thought with a feeling of dread in her belly.
"Ha, well, luckily Lord Sesshomaru has gone after this Magatsuhi character, while you all sit around twiddling your thumbs!" Jaken's voice added to the conversation. "I'm sure the great Lord Sesshomaru has already destroyed the threat!"
"I thought you wouldn't set foot in a 'human hovel'." Hotaru commented.
Jaken crossed his arms. "Well, since I am stuck here selflessly defending you and Rin, I might as well join in the conversation."
"As much as I hate agreeing with the imp, he might be right." Inuyasha grumbled. "Yesterday, Sesshomaru was able to cut Magatsuhi with his tenseiga."
"What?" Everyone's eyes widened, but Shippo was the one to exclaim his disbelief out loud. "But I thought the tenseiga couldn't cut anything from this world."
"If Magatsuhi truly is the evil will of the Shikon Jewel, then he would not belong to this world." Sango said.
Hotaru looked down at Kohaku. The evil corrupting his shard made her feel sick to her stomach. She didn't have a solution for this. There was something hurting her friend, and she was helpless to free him.
"Hotaru? Did you hear me?" Kagome's voice broke her out of her reflection. She looked up to see the older girl looking at her curiously.
"Sorry." Hotaru said. "What?"
"I said, I'm heading back to our time for a few days." Kagome told her. "Entrance exams are coming up, and I need time to study. I know you want to be here for Kohaku, but the well I travel through isn't far from here. If you want to go home for a little while...you look like you could use the rest."
The offer made Hotaru's heart skip a beat.
Home. The word resonated in her head, in her heart. Setsuna-mama, Haruka-papa, Michiru-mama. She missed them so bad it hurt. She could go home. She could run up her driveway and fall into her parents' arms. She closed her eyes. She could almost hear Michiru-mama's violin, smell Haruka-papa's cologne, and feel Setsuna-mama's embrace. She wanted to see them. She would give anything to see them, and now, for the first time, it was possible. Home was just on the other side of that well. All she had to do was say yes.
She wished it was that simple.
"I can't." Hotaru replied, the words were physically painful to say as the vision of home slipped from her grasp. "I promised Kohaku that I would stay with him until Naraku was defeated. If I leave now, I might not have the strength to come back."
"Are you sure?" Kagome asked.
Hotaru looked down at Kohaku's unconscious face. Though it wasn't visible, she could feel turmoil in his soul. There was a war raging there that none of them could see. She couldn't abandon him. He needed her now more than ever.
"I'm sure."
Kagome didn't argue. She left later that day. Hotaru and Sango sat by Kohaku's side for most of the morning, but after lunch Lady Kaede all but kicked them out.
"Ye will do him no good by wasting away with worry. Ye will help him best by moving forward."
Hotaru knew there was logic in that. Reluctantly, she left Kohaku's bedside, and investigated the village.
It was strange to be around so many people again. While this village was miniscule compared to the urban sprawl of Tokyo, after a couple of months having no more than four other companions, she suddenly felt overwhelmed by all the new faces. Rin seemed apprehensive as well. Hotaru knew Rin didn't trust humans at the best of times, and now she was without Lord Sesshomaru for the first time in almost a year. The first few days, the young girl clung close to Hotaru's side, not straying more than a few feet away. Luckily, Rin seemed to have found a good friend in Shippo. She was able to become comfortable playing with him, and he helped her become comfortable around the other children.
Hotaru found it much harder to integrate.
Over the following days, she would occasionally trail Lady Kaede with Rin, Shippo, and a group of other village children, but she felt restless. She would join in games every now and then for Rin's sake. They would distract her for a little while, but the anxiety over Kohaku created a wall between her and the other children. Soon Rin seemed comfortable enough with just Shippo, and it was clear she did not need Hotaru there, so Hotaru stopped joining.
Jaken mostly moped around the village, watching Rin from a distance. Hotaru was pretty miserable, but she wasn't desperate enough to seek his company.
Inuyasha was a steady presence around the village as well, he mostly complained loudly about Kagome being gone. Every now and again, he would annoy Lady Kaede enough that she would send him off to do chores for her. He did not seem to like this, despite the fact that he could single-handedly do the work of about fifty humans. "I ain't no one's errand boy!" He would grumble. Then he would make himself scarce for a while.
As the days went on, Hotaru spent more time with Miroku and Sango. Hotaru had grown to respect Sango from the stories Kohaku had told about her, and now the two of them were united in their fear for Kohaku's life. A bond quickly grew between them as they sat together by Kohaku's side each night. Sango was a steady, calming presence and Hotaru felt better being in her company.
Miroku was wise and insightful as well. He didn't treat Hotaru like a child, which she greatly appreciated. He often asked her questions about the future, and in return she would ask him theological questions (she had a lot of experience with Shinto and some experience with Christianity, but she knew surprisingly little about Buddhism). He had a wealth of information that he was more than happy to share with her. His calm, matter-of-fact manner of teaching reminded Hotaru a lot of Setsuna-mama. Though the monk did tend to have a bad habit of flirting with the village girls, much to Sango's annoyance. In those times he reminded Hotaru of Haruka-papa. Sango's calming demeanor would change as well, she would flare up with jealousy and react the same as Michiru-mama. The normality of it was a strange comfort.
Days started to fall into a simple rhythm, but Hotaru couldn't relax. Kohaku still hadn't shown any signs of waking up. Even after Lady Kaede all but chased Hotaru away from his bedside, she still returned to the little house several times a day to check on him. There was never any change. He remained in the same comatose state.
After four days, Hotaru decided to try healing him again. She waited until she was certain no one was around, and knelt by his side. She put her hand over his neck, took a deep breath, and concentrated on pouring her energy into him. Once more, pain shot up her arm almost instantly, clawing at her muscles. This time it was a sharp, biting pain, spreading over her shoulder and up her neck.
"Your nose is bleeding again." The voice snapped Hotaru's concentration and she broke off with a gasp. Blood rushed to her head. She felt dizzy for a moment. She wiped her face as she turned to see who had spoken. Sango was standing in the doorway. Her eyes were soft and empathetic. She walked over to sit next to Hotaru. "I thought Kaede told you not to try that anymore."
"I can't just do nothing," said Hotaru.
Sango's eyes shone with understanding.
"If I had your powers I would probably be trying the same thing." The demonslayer admitted. She gazed down at her brother. "You know, we didn't get a chance to talk much when we first met. The day you and Kikyo save Miroku's life. But I knew then how important you must have been to Kohaku. I could tell by the way he spoke about you. I wanted to talk to you, but the next day you were both gone. Then, I found him in the forest that day, and you…" Sango's eyes darkened. "You were unconscious in the grass. I thought for sure you were going to die. I was positive he had killed you. But somehow you pulled through. Now I see you here, trying so hard to wake him up...You still care about him, even after he attacked you..."
"So do you," Hotaru pointed out. "He attacked you as well, and I'm willing to bet your scar is a lot bigger than mine."
Sango's shoulders hunched uncomfortably. A haunted look fell across her face. "He's my brother." She replied simply.
"He's my friend."
They sat in silence for a long time before Sango continued. "He didn't want to go into battle that day. He was scared. I told him there was nothing to worry about. I told him everything was going to be fine…."
"From what Kohaku told me, Naraku was determined to wipe out your village one way or another. If Kohaku wouldn't have gone with, it would have been you that Naraku possessed and Kohaku would have gotten killed with everyone else in the village. Either way, the result would have been the same. Only then you wouldn't have survived and Naraku wouldn't have resurrected Kohaku. At least now you and Kohaku can keep the memory of your village alive."
"I guess I never thought of it that way." admitted Sango. "You are very wise for your age."
Hotaru shrugged. "I had a pretty weird childhood. I had to grow up fast."
Sango wrapped her arms around Hotaru and pulled her into a hug. Hotaru was surprised at first, but let herself relax into the older girl's embrace. She hadn't been held like this since she left home. It was almost like one of her parents was holding her. It made her feel safe, even if just for a little while.