PLEASE READ: Uh...hi everyone. Um, I'm actually NOT DragonRedfox! Don't worry, she wrote this little tidbit a while ago and wanted me to publish it since she is currently fussing over preparations for school (I'm a RL friend of her btw). Heh, yeah, she's also freaked out because she didn't fulfill all requests of everyone (as far as I recall). For the next few days I'll post some of her work here I'll, of course, relay all and any reviews she will get so she stops worrying ;) Thank you all for supporting her like that, she really tries hard to be a good writer and I hope she makes it ;)

The Examination

"Ugh, those stupid Elrics," Greed threw his long black coat over the back of a chair, shutting and locking the large door behind him.

Greed stopped in the middle of the large, spacious room and looked around for the first time, "Hm...so he really is a prince huh?" Greed mused, crossing his arms and clicking his tongue.

Ling sure lived in luxury, that bastard. Curtains seemingly made of fine silk covering the large windows which nearly expanded from the bottom of the floor to the beginning of the ceiling, dusted in light freckles of gold like a thin layer of dust over a white plane. The living room was very large, sporting what Greed assumed was training equipment littered on the floor, a long, oval shaped dining table made of dark oak wood, copious amounts of fruits and sweets covering the surface.

Greed grinned.

He spotted two closed doors and opened the first one to the left, it was the bathroom.

The bathroom was only a little smaller than the living room itself, offering a closed off toilet, a very large bath tub decorated in floral patterns on its smooth sides, Greed recognized the bathtub and the water system to be fashioned as once older bath tubs looked like instead of the more modern ones. It was missing a shower head, but the faucet looked to be made of pure gold, nearly shining in the light of the large chandelier hanging from above. Greed blinked.

He crossed his arms, blood running from his nose and grinning like a fool, "Oh yeah baby! I love this place!"

"Thank you, chose it myself," the voice of a certain prince sounded inside Greed's head.

Greed snorted, "Oi, princy, I was wondering when you would wake up,"

Inside their shared mind, among the endless abyss of crying souls swarming every corner of Ling's mind, the prince sat with crossed arms and legs, looking calm, "The fight was more tiresome than I expected, it took its toll on me," he sounded slightly embarrassed.

Greed exited the bathroom and snorted, "With your fragile human bodies how can it not. Well, at least you're rich." Greed said this just as he was pushing open the large double doors, which he presumed was the bedroom.

My. Fucking. God.

A sharp, loud whistle sounded, which seemed to resonate in the large, lonely room.

"Aw man! Now this is what I call heaven!" Greed didn't waste any time to jump on the king sized bed, inhaling the scent of something sweet and mellow, "Hell piss-ant, ya sure live here on cloud nine don't ya?" Greed laughed, rolling around on the bed.

"Now spit it out, where are the ladies?" Greed propped himself up with his hands on the bed as he rapidly whipped his head this way and that, his eyes passing over a large full body mirror, a smaller-

What the hell?

"Do ya doll yourself up over there or what?" Greed looked over at what appeared to be a old fashioned vanity mirrors with a small desk underneath it.

Ling sighed, "No, I used that to hide my scars whenever I fight a powerful enemy or train martial arts, I don't want them to be seen when I need to attend formal occasions,"

Greed rose an eyebrow, "Hide your scars? Why would you do that?" the Homunculus blinked then clicked his tongue, "Tch, having scars is saying how powerful ya are. Do you think your country wants some punk with baby smooth skin that's never lifted a finger? I say, that's a crappy ruler,"

"I...I've never seen it that way before..." Ling rubbed his chin in thought, surprised how thoughtful the cruel Homunculus could be, "And anyway, what did you mean with ladies? Why would there be any women here?" Ling rose an eyebrow in confusion, tilting his head.

Greed smirked, "Duh, as entertainment of course what else! Ya got money, fame and status! Ya can't tell me you aren't enjoying a couple of females every night right? You must be the big bad boss around here, being heir to the throne and all. I say ladies get the hots for these high and mighty positions," Greed examined his fingers casually, a devil-may-care grin on his face.

Ling flushed in embarrassment, "W-well...no actually not. I've been far too busy with my duties to waste my time on that. Besides, I got Lan Fan and Fu to-"

Greed perked up in sudden interest, "Hoho, Lan Fan huh? Who is she? Your woman? Is she hot?" Greed rested his chin against his hand, laying flat on his belly on the bed while waiting for Ling's answer, his eyes shining in mirth.

"How dare you! Shut up Greed! You'll stay away from Lan Fan! She is just my bodyguard and a dear childhood friend, nothing more!" Ling felt a pang in his heart at saying that but he firmly set his mind to it, fighting off any feelings of embarrassment.

Greed felt the shift in the mood, "Hmm, no need to lie to me kid, I'm been walking on this earth before you were even planned. I recognize puppy love when I see it. So, this Lan Fan of yours is your body guard huh? Any other services besides 'guarding' your body? No?" Greed snickered, he loved to rile up the prince for some reason.

Ling's chi flared in anger at the Homunculus' disrespect for his close friend, "Shut the hell up Greed! And it's not puppy love alright? There are no 'services'! I can't believe I let a perverted sick creature like you share my body!" Ling shook his head.

Greed's annoyance flared this time, "Oh really? What's so perverted and sick in thinking outta the box? If that Lan Fan girl is beautiful and all why not have her for yourself? You've got the power, the money, half way the looks... You could have any woman ya want," Greed remained silent, waiting patiently for him to answer.

He was surprised when Ling confessed quietly, "I...don't want any other woman," from that moment on Greed realized he was crossing dangerous territory, that Lan Fan woman must be a sore spot for Ling, since he didn't see her yet, he assumed she wasn't here in Xing too. Though Greed's avarice was great, greater than anyone else's, he had a feeling that trying to steal Ling's girl wouldn't be a good way to start their share-my-body-relationship thing especially since he sensed strong emotions within Ling at the mention of that woman.

Greed let it slide. There are plenty of fish in the sea after all.

He smirked, getting off the bed, "Well, time to see how my new body looks like,"

Ling's eyes widened, "What? What do you mean?" he panicked when Greed started taking off his clothes!

"H-hey! Stop undressing me you bastard!" Greed's arm suddenly froze mid-air but he easily gained control of it again.

Greed smirked almost evilly, "Tch, ya gotta do better than that to restrain me, idiot prince. I'd suggest you take a nap, maybe then you can actually control your own body," Greed chuckled, undressing down to his boxers.

The Homunculus stood now in front of the mirror, comically posing in different positions to carefully observe his new body.

He bent this way and that, stretched his legs and arms out, thrusting his pelvis forward then back, craning his neck, looking over his shoulder at his back and flexing the thinly defined muscles.

He frowned in displeasure, "Oi, oi, what's this? My old body was way more buff than yours! What do you do all day? Sit on your ass?" Greed 'tsked', crossing his arms.

Ling frowned, peeved, "Oi! I've trained ever since I was young by a martial arts teacher! I'm still only 15 so my muscles may not look as pronounced...and I've started eating a bit more..." Ling sweat dropped heavily, remembering how he robbed Ed and Al of their money within the span of five minutes by wolfing down plate after plate of food.

Greed scrutinized himself in the mirror critically, "Hm...not bad. We will gotta work on the muscle mass a bit more but otherwise nice body," Greed grinned, "Yeah, nice ass too. Man, I got a great ass,"

Ling almost fell on his back, "HEY! THAT'S MY GREAT ASS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE GREED!"

Greed waved off Ling's protests like an annoying fly, "Yeah, yeah, whatever piss-ant,"

"Stop calling me piss-ant you lousy Homunculus!"

Ignoring Ling's insults, Greed turned again, "Hmm...yeah, after working a bit more of muscle I'll have a killer body! The ladies will just be waitin' in line,"

Greed smirked, his calloused hands moving to the white boxers of Ling, he clicked his tongue in mild annoyance, "Seriously? White boxers? Ya gotta be shitting me. I'll have to give ya some fashion tips, can't let you go walking around like a fashion disaster on two legs," Greed shook his head, hooking his thumbs under the elastic band on the boxers.

He sensed Ling almost jump from his sitting position inside their shared mind, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! STOP UNDRESSING ME YOU PERVERT! THIS IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT!" Ling was freaking out over Greed actually fully exposing himself, he felt so...violated... he almost ripped out his hair from its roots. Damn it all to hell!

Greed rolled his eyes at the youth, "Oh shut up would ya? Calm your tits man, we all have the same thing here. Wait...you're a guy right?" Greed quickly peeked inside the boxers just to be sure, his eyes comically wide.

Ling flushed bright red from anger and embarrassment, the audacity of this creature!

"OF COURSE I AM WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU STUPID HOMUNCULUS?! AND STOP STARING AT IT!"

Greed remained calm, "Alright, alright, no need to get your panties in a twist. Just look at it like a physical without me being a doctor," Greed slowly pulled down the boxers, stepping out of them and kicking them in some corner of the room.

Ling nearly fainted.

Greed smirked faintly, lifting one leg, then the other, posing this way and that, he rubbed his chin in thought, his gaze narrowed.

"Hmmm..." several long minutes of silence passed until Greed finally spoke, "I like it,"

He grinned like a child, resting his hands on his bare hips boldly and grinning at his reflection, sharp teeth grinning back at him.

Ling couldn't believe what just happened, "Oh I'm so relieved you do! Now stop violating my privacy and put my clothes back on you fool!" It would be a miracle if he didn't kill Greed now...

Greed grinned but his nose suddenly twitched and he recoiled.

He lowered his arms, "Ah man, all this fighting sure brings up a sweat, I could use a shower about now," Greed got an idea, developing a very devilish grin.

Ling bristled in alarm, "Greed...why are you smiling like that? Greed?!" Ling continually shouted for the Homunculus not to abuse his chambers but the threats and pleas fell on deaf ears it seemed.

Greed, in all his/Ling's naked glory slammed open the door to the bathroom, his feet spread apart and a hand casually on his bare hip, whistling again at the luxurious sight.

"Oh yeah, I'm gonna enjoy this real good," Greed quickly grabbed a towel after a bit rummaging through the small closets of the bathroom, draping it over his shoulder with a big grin.

Ling shook his head in exasperation, sighing irritably, "I should've locked all my rooms, I knew it!"

Ling's eyes widened when Greed just grabbed what he suspected he did...no way...he did not just grab 'that'!

"LEAVE MR. DUCKY ALONE YOU STUPID HOMUNCULUS!" Ling roared inside their mind.

The end! I hope everyone enjoyed it!