Hello everyone! Welcome all to my second story! My musical Fanfic! As you read from the summary, no ship will be turned away, no song will be ignored! In each chapter I will inform you all where the song is from or written by. I will not be copyrighted! I do not own any of these songs and unless it's one I written myself. You all are free to review and leave a suggestion of a song and what character the song is for! And please leave who the song is by! I'm not a big rap, heavy metal or pop person. So if I do not know your listed song, I will look it up so I can get a better understanding of how to write the chapter.
Now onto our first chapter!
What's a perfect song to open this Fic and with where our beloved Hazbins are living? That's right! It's The Whole Being Dead Thing! And who's better to sing it then Lucifer himself as he welcomes all the newcomers to Hell?
Enjoy!
Song is from Beetlejuice the Musical.
Chapter 1: The Whole Being Dead Thing (Beetlejuice the Musical)
The Hell sun was just rising in Hell. The light shining on an elegant white, gold and red castle with symbols of apples and snakes. The front door open to reveal a white-as-literal-snow skinned man with combed back light blond hair, literal red cheeks, wearing a white suit with red accents, a black bowtie and top hat. His hat head a red ribbon with a pale gray snake wrapped around it along with a pin of an apple on it. The jacket of his suit was opened to show his red undershirt. In his hand was a clipboard with some papers that he was going over. He blinked in surprise at seeing the readers then a large smirk appeared on his face. He waved at them.
"Hey, folks! Begging your pardon," He shut the door, tossing the clipboard away. "'Scuse me, sorry to barge in. Now let's skip the tears and start on the whole," He looked around then motioned towards the readers with a grin. "Y'know, Being dead thing."
He threw his arms out, gesturing to the city around them. He flashed his audience a cruel smile.
"You're doomed, enjoy the singing,"
He chuckled when a stray demon swung a sword at one of the readers.
"The sword of Damocles is swinging," He frowned when one of the readers' Hellphone started ringing. He grabbed it out of their hand and set it ablaze. "And if I hear your cell-phone ringing, I'll kill you myself."
He tossed the charred phone back to the owner, a more chipper smile coming upon his face.
"The whole being dead thing!" He motioned to several demons that were running around in panic. "Death can get a person stressed."
He magicked over to one of the panicking demons, mockingly mimicking them.
"We should have carpe'd way more diems! Now we're never gonna see 'em!"
Suddenly they were all seated in what seemed like a row of movie theater chairs. He appeared on a stage with a gold cane with an apple on the top.
"I can show you what comes next. So don't be freaked. Stay in your seats." He chuckled. "I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week!"
He suddenly appeared behind the readers, grinning maliciously at them.
"So just relax, you'll be fine," He took a drink out a wine bottle, holding it out for them to look at then tossing it away. Which followed with him taking a large breath of air. "Drink your fifty-dollar wine, and take a breath!"
"Welcome to a show about death!" A group of demons chorus behind the ruler of Hell.
The Fallen angel suddenly pulled out a ukulele and started playing it.
"You're, you're gonna be fine. On the other side," He then smashed the ukulele., heavy metal music suddenly playing. "DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" He then pulled out another ukulele. "I'll... I'll be your guide. To the other side."
He smashed the second ukulele. The demons from earlier appearing in front of him.
"Though in full disclosure: It's a show about death!"
"Everybody gets on fine here." He wrapped his arms around the shoulders of Richard Rodgers, Lorenz Hart, and Oscar Hammerstein II. All who looked like their alive counterparts, only with a black and white color palate. "Like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here!"
He motioned to a woman's restroom.
"The women's bathroom has no line here." He then gestured to the area around them. "Just pee where you want! The whole being dead thing!"
He grinned as he looked at the citizens of his city. Then looked at his audience.
"You're just gonna love the folks here." He shrugged, smirking as he slammed a pie against an unsuspecting imp. "Yeah, I know you're woke, but you can take a joke here. And every show we do, like, a ton of coke here! The whole-"
He looked at a demon that snorted a line of cocaine in front of them then looked back at his viewers.
"The whole being dead thing!" He stepped over a demon that just got shot. "Nobody is bullet-proof."
He rolled his eyes at a muscular demon that was flirting with a female imp. He went over to them. Mocking them.
"'I work out, I eat clean!'" He gagged. "Jesus, pass the Dramamine. Time to face the brutal truth." He unfolded a list with a grin. "'Cause we're all on a hit list."
He looked at a Christmas tree that was decorated. He snapped his fingers, setting it on fire.
"Might not live 'till Christmas."
He held up a box of Triscuits, one hand on his throat imitating that he was choking.
"Choke to death on Triscuits." He shrugged. "Hey, that just statistics."
He flopped onto a lounge chair with a glass of wine in his hand.
"So take a little break here. Kinda like a wake here."
He suddenly popped out a computer screen, causing the author of the story to scream in surprise.
"The scenery is fake here."
She frowned and shoved him back into the computer. Grumbling as she went back to writing. Lucifer grinned as he motioned to a giant snake outside the city.
"BUT THERE'S A GIANT SNAKE HERE!"
He laughed as the giant creature started chasing everyone in the area. Comedically following them through a series of doorways before it's head when up to the readers' screens and lunged at them with it's mouth open.
"Welcome to a show about death!" The chorus sang.
"You're... you're gonna be fine," Lucifer sang, dressed liked Elvis Presley, clutching a mic stand. He grinned. "Thank you!" He went back to singing. "On the other side," He slide up to a woman that as crying. "How you doin'? Not good?" He went back to singing. "I'll... I'll be your guide to the other side."
He started spinning, temporarily turning into a mini tornado, then stopped, his head still spinning, till he grabbed it to stop.
"Seriously, though, this is a show about-"
The demons popped up around the readers.
"Death is taboo, but it's hardly something new. There's nothing medical professionals can do. 'Cept maybe just bill you,"
He looked at the readers, casually leaning against a table.
"If you die while reading this Fanfic, it's still gonna stay on the internet." He replied.
"There's no destiny or fate. Just a terrifying wait," The demons sang. While a few gestured to the ones that they hated. "Filled with people that you hate." One held up a calendar. "And on a certain date, the universe kills you."
The King of Hell was laying in a recently dug grave with cucumber slices on his eyes. He pulled on off and tossed it in his mouth.
"That's the thing with life. No-one makes it out alive!" He ate the other one as he jumped out of the grave. "Toss that body in the pit!"
He weaved his way through the readers, giving condescending mocking retorts.
"'Gosh, it's awful, ain't it tragic?'" He opened and closed his hands in a mocking talking gesture. "'Blah, blah, Bible. Jesus magic.'" He motioned to the citizens around them. "When you're dead, who gives a shit?"
He gave a quick twirl to show him in a green singlet with orange leggings and a orange sweat band.
"No pilates, no more yoga," He magicked back to his usual attire and grabbed hold of the screen. ""Namaste", you fuckin' posers!"
He appeared on top of a casket, dancing on it.
"From the cradle to cremation. Death just needs a little conversation," He spun his cane then leaned against it, pulling his hat off to smooth back his hair with a smirk. "I have mastered the art."
"Dies Irae!"
He straightened his bowtie.
"Of tearing convention apart."
"Dies Irae!"
He maneuvered his way till he was standing in center stage of where the entire crowd could see him.
"So, how about we all make a start."
"Dies Irae!"
"On the whole being dead thing!"
Thunder and lightening clashed behind him as the demons chorused around him. He laughed.
"God, I hope you're ready for a show about death!"
With a final tip of his hat, he vanished, leaving the poor souls to fend for themselves. After all, being in Hell was just part of the whole being dead thing.
And that's the end of our first chapter!
For all those who aren't theater kids, Richard Rodgers is a composer and lyricist-dramatist Oscar Hammerstein II, who together were an influential, innovative and successful American musical theater writing team. They created a string of popular Broadway musicals in the 1940s and 1950s, initiating what is considered the "golden age" of musical theater.
Lorenz Hart was a lyricist who often partnered with Rodgers and Hammerstein. They created Oklahoma!, Carousel, South Pacific, The King and I and The Sound of Music. Give praise to our Broadway Brothers! Without them we would never have these amazing shows and their televised version of Cinderella!
As I said up above feel free to leave a recommendation of a song and which character you want featured! Thank you all and don't forget to review!