p class="p1"span class="s1"Chapter 10/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"strongAN: Here it is, my favourite chapter so far. I cried while writing the idea for this so hopefully I convey the emotion. Sometimes it's hard to put a giant burst of emotion into words. For me anyway./strong/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"strongFor the best experience, put on your headphones and play the song 'Wonder' by Shawn Mendes! It doesn't really go all that well, but it's a great song and has very relevant lyrics/strong/span/p
p class="p2"span class="s1"strongspan class="Apple-converted-space" /span/strong/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1"strongI hope you enjoy!/strong/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"I hear a noise at the end of the passageway. I panic. I thought no one knew about this passageway. But then I remember. I took Zach here. The person I was hiding from was the only person who knew where I was./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"Before I can hide, I see Zach walking towards me. I pull my knees up to my chest and hide my face. He looks down at me for a few seconds before sitting next to me and leaning back against the wall./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""Why are you mad at me?" I look sideways at him. "I'm not feeling mad, i'm feeling betrayed," I say. I surprise myself that i'm actually talking about my feelings to Zach. He's kind of the last person I want to talk to right now./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""Why what did I do?" He asks. I pause. "You like Macey," I eventually say. Zach looks confused. "Firstly, I don't, and secondly, why do you care so much?" He smirks. "She's one of my best friends and you were staring at her in her bra and underwear, and she has a boyfriend!" Zach's smirk fades./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""Gallagher Girls, I don't like Macey. Plus, I already told you I would never try and hurt you!" His facial expressions are softer now. "But why didn't you say who you had most recently liked?" I ask. "Because I didn't want to embarrass you," he replies./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"I don't think he realises what that sounds like to me. Because to me it sounds like he doesn't want to make me look like a fool, because he likes someone class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""Because you like some random girl and didn't want to make me look stupid," I spit out. Zach looks at me softly again before taking my hands away from my face and holding them in his. "Cam, it's because I like you," he says. I felt my heart start to beat faster./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""What are we?" I demand, the quiet broken. "You first started showing interest in me in 10th grade, I ignored you because I found you annoying and arrogant, but after a while I developed feelings for you, not major, but they were there. So when you kissed me in the Grand hall, it was a comfort to think that you might feel the same way. So I stopped being so uptight with you and was much nicer with you. But as soon as I showed an interest in you, you seemed to back away."/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""I'm a bad influence on you," Zach replies, looking down. I start to see things differently. Zach didn't stay away from me because he was playing me, it was because he thought he was going to hurt me. "You've got to stop thinking of yourself that way. Just because your mum is bad, doesn't mean you are," I tell him./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""We can't be anything, anything I ever get attached to gets taken away. I won't let you get taken away. I have to let you go. And my heart might just break a little bit, so that yours won't have to break again," Zach says, looking at our hands. It felt like my heart was tearing in two. I felt tears spring to my eyes and I held Zach's hands the slightest bit tighter./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"I heard my voice crack and I felt the tears start to spill as I said, " You don't see it do you? We're spies. NOTHING is going to be permanent. With or without you, someone or something will be taken from me. It's like that for every spy and you know it. My heart will get broken again!"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"Zach puts my hands on his heart and looks into my eyes sadly. "I don't want you to get hurt, like your dad did. If you don't get attached to someone, you won't be as sad if they get hurt," he says, but his eyes tell me he didn't believe that it would hurt less. "I'll always be sad if you got hurt," I reply. I could feel the tears streaming down my face, but I wasn't bothered to stop class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""That's why I need to stay away from you. I don't want you to be sad because of me," Zach says. My voice cracks. "No," I say, beginning to sob. Zach seems to be angry all of a sudden./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""I love you, ok? And that's why I can't be with you," Zach shouts at me. I blink. I look at Zach's face. He seemed to of shocked himself. He's not the only one he's shocked./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""You love me?" My voice is barely a whisper. Zach looks down at his lap. "Yes," he says. I lift up his chin and look into his eyes. In that moment, I realise the thing that I had denied to myself, for a month, for a year, I don't know. "I love you too," I class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"I can see the slight shininess of tears in his eyes. "I can't lose you," Zach says quietly. He shakes his head and whispers, "I can't lose you." In that moment I realise that I finally see Zach unmasked, without a filter./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""You won't," I say, although we both know it was a promise that a spy can never keep. But in that moment, we didn't care. I lean forward, and kiss him softly, and he kisses me back. For the moment we push all of our worries aside./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"strongAN: Don't worry, this isn't the end, although we are close. I didn't put my emotions into words as well as i hoped, but my mind was elsewhere. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I will try to update soon! Thanks for reading!span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/strong/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"strongAN: Here it is, my favourite chapter so far. I cried while writing the idea for this so hopefully I convey the emotion. Sometimes it's hard to put a giant burst of emotion into words. For me anyway./strong/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"strongFor the best experience, put on your headphones and play the song 'Wonder' by Shawn Mendes! It doesn't really go all that well, but it's a great song and has very relevant lyrics/strong/span/p
p class="p2"span class="s1"strongspan class="Apple-converted-space" /span/strong/span/p
p class="p1"span class="s1"strongI hope you enjoy!/strong/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"I hear a noise at the end of the passageway. I panic. I thought no one knew about this passageway. But then I remember. I took Zach here. The person I was hiding from was the only person who knew where I was./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"Before I can hide, I see Zach walking towards me. I pull my knees up to my chest and hide my face. He looks down at me for a few seconds before sitting next to me and leaning back against the wall./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""Why are you mad at me?" I look sideways at him. "I'm not feeling mad, i'm feeling betrayed," I say. I surprise myself that i'm actually talking about my feelings to Zach. He's kind of the last person I want to talk to right now./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""Why what did I do?" He asks. I pause. "You like Macey," I eventually say. Zach looks confused. "Firstly, I don't, and secondly, why do you care so much?" He smirks. "She's one of my best friends and you were staring at her in her bra and underwear, and she has a boyfriend!" Zach's smirk fades./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""Gallagher Girls, I don't like Macey. Plus, I already told you I would never try and hurt you!" His facial expressions are softer now. "But why didn't you say who you had most recently liked?" I ask. "Because I didn't want to embarrass you," he replies./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"I don't think he realises what that sounds like to me. Because to me it sounds like he doesn't want to make me look like a fool, because he likes someone class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""Because you like some random girl and didn't want to make me look stupid," I spit out. Zach looks at me softly again before taking my hands away from my face and holding them in his. "Cam, it's because I like you," he says. I felt my heart start to beat faster./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""What are we?" I demand, the quiet broken. "You first started showing interest in me in 10th grade, I ignored you because I found you annoying and arrogant, but after a while I developed feelings for you, not major, but they were there. So when you kissed me in the Grand hall, it was a comfort to think that you might feel the same way. So I stopped being so uptight with you and was much nicer with you. But as soon as I showed an interest in you, you seemed to back away."/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""I'm a bad influence on you," Zach replies, looking down. I start to see things differently. Zach didn't stay away from me because he was playing me, it was because he thought he was going to hurt me. "You've got to stop thinking of yourself that way. Just because your mum is bad, doesn't mean you are," I tell him./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""We can't be anything, anything I ever get attached to gets taken away. I won't let you get taken away. I have to let you go. And my heart might just break a little bit, so that yours won't have to break again," Zach says, looking at our hands. It felt like my heart was tearing in two. I felt tears spring to my eyes and I held Zach's hands the slightest bit tighter./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"I heard my voice crack and I felt the tears start to spill as I said, " You don't see it do you? We're spies. NOTHING is going to be permanent. With or without you, someone or something will be taken from me. It's like that for every spy and you know it. My heart will get broken again!"span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"Zach puts my hands on his heart and looks into my eyes sadly. "I don't want you to get hurt, like your dad did. If you don't get attached to someone, you won't be as sad if they get hurt," he says, but his eyes tell me he didn't believe that it would hurt less. "I'll always be sad if you got hurt," I reply. I could feel the tears streaming down my face, but I wasn't bothered to stop class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""That's why I need to stay away from you. I don't want you to be sad because of me," Zach says. My voice cracks. "No," I say, beginning to sob. Zach seems to be angry all of a sudden./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""I love you, ok? And that's why I can't be with you," Zach shouts at me. I blink. I look at Zach's face. He seemed to of shocked himself. He's not the only one he's shocked./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""You love me?" My voice is barely a whisper. Zach looks down at his lap. "Yes," he says. I lift up his chin and look into his eyes. In that moment, I realise the thing that I had denied to myself, for a month, for a year, I don't know. "I love you too," I class="Apple-converted-space" /span/span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"I can see the slight shininess of tears in his eyes. "I can't lose you," Zach says quietly. He shakes his head and whispers, "I can't lose you." In that moment I realise that I finally see Zach unmasked, without a filter./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1""You won't," I say, although we both know it was a promise that a spy can never keep. But in that moment, we didn't care. I lean forward, and kiss him softly, and he kisses me back. For the moment we push all of our worries aside./span/p
p class="p2" /p
p class="p1"span class="s1"strongAN: Don't worry, this isn't the end, although we are close. I didn't put my emotions into words as well as i hoped, but my mind was elsewhere. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I will try to update soon! Thanks for reading!span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/strong/span/p