NOTICE: I've removed the "Author's Note Chapter 100" from the list, that's why THIS will be Chapter 97 NOT 98!
ANSWERS TO REVIEWS:
Bob: Eh, 4 more sorry. I had to delete that "Authors note" chapter! :)
Cassey: Hihi, thanks! I'm glad Lena is a likeable OC of mine! :)
Siriuslyobsessedwithfour: Hi there! Thank you so much! :3 I'm glad you enjoyed that chapter I hope you enjoy my other ones as well! :)
Oh and a single warning, randomness and hilarity ensues! ;)
Two minds, Two hearts, Two women, One body?
Greed grinned as Lena wound her arm with his and giggled at something he said, he enjoyed the feeling of her soft body against his, how her cheeks reddened whenever he would place a soft kiss on her forehead, surprisingly kiss her on the lips or joke about something, the way her hips swayed gently in the dress he had bought for her, instead of daring like many have thought him to buy, he bought a elegant red dress that fit her figure but didn't show of anything too much.
He enjoyed the way small dimples formed on the corners of her mouth whenever she smiled so widely at him, the way her hair smelled from her shampoo whenever he wouldn't be able to resist and take a whiff of it, the way she snuggled closer to him looking for warmth where it wasn't in the slightest bit cold, the way-
"Boooooooriinggg!" Greed froze, his brain shutting down at the insolent, annoying voice of HIM!
"WHAT THE-?!" Greed looked around and spotted him, Ling, that little-!
"What the hell was that?! I'm in the middle of a date with Lena god damn it!" Greed roared at the bored prince, his soul nearly placating him entirely. Oh how he wished he could just rip him to pieces with his teeth and-
"Ugh, it's so boring in here all day and all I hear are thoughts about Lena! And most of them I don't want to hear!" Ling frowned and crossed him arms, but after a minute or two, he grinned slyly, "But I didn't know you could be such a romantic..." a chibi-like expression grew on Ling's face and he laughed.
A tic mark appeared on Greed's forehead as he tried making sense of the situation again, "Hey, hey, hey! I'm not bothering you when you're out with your lady am I?! Now shut up and let me enjoy my thoughts damn it!"
Ling sighed heavily, falling onto his back in his utter boredom and whining noisily.
Lena felt annoyance rolling off of Greed in waves, "Greed? Are you alright?" she tilted her head questionably, trying to figure out if it annoyed him that she clung to him so.
Now, normally Lena wasn't the clingy type, except if she was intoxicated, but she felt in a happier mood today and thought it was perfectly fine with Greed to walk a bit closer together than they usually did but now to his newfound annoyance she wasn't so sure...
Greed seemed to snap out of whatever he had been in and looked at her, grinning, eyes closed, "Uh, yeah, sorry sweetheart. The prince's getting on my nerves," he chuckled, attempting to cover up.
Lena smiled and sighed in relief, "Oh...I'm sorry, I completely forgot about Ling. He must be bored out of his mind hm? Why don't we call it a night and let him get some rest? I'm sure he's tired from our antics today," she smiled reassuringly causing Greed's jaw to drop.
Ling was up from his slouched position in seconds, "SHE'S AN ANGEL! MARRY HER YOU STUPID HOMUNCULUS! MARRY HER! KISS THE GROUND SHE WALKS ON AND WORSHIP HER FEET!"
Greed exploded," I WANTED TO WORSHIP EVERY PART OF HER BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE YOU WOULD SEE HER NAKED TOO!"
Ling paused, confused, "Eh? But I'm not interested in Lena-"
Greed didn't let up, "You better not be! I don't care piss ant! Nobody but me sees my woman without her clothes on!"
Ling rolled his eyes and stood up, with intense concentration, Ling focused on his own soul and neglected all the other souls sharing his body and finally when he opened his eyes again, he was looking straight at Lena with his very own eyes.
She immediately noted the difference and knew who was in control, "Ah, Ling, hello," she smiled bashfully.
Ling grinned back, hugging her suddenly to him tightly, "Oh Lena! You're an angel! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" what was meant to be a purely friendly hug seemed to ignite Greed's wrath.
"HEY! NO TOUCHING MY LADY! GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!" Greed growled and roared inside his head, pushing against the invisible cage to regain control of Ling's body.
But Ling wasn't even fazed, saving his energy for small moments of freedom, "So, how are you this lovely evening?" he grinned innocently.
Lena stepped a bit back from to not be so intimately close and smiled back, "I'm fine thank you and yourself?"
Ling grinned, "Ahhh, as good as ever! I don't have to listen to Greed's thoughts all day!" he released a breathless, relieved sigh.
The woman beside him rose an eyebrow in curiosity, "Oh really? Do tell, what thoughts?" she smirked.
Ling's expression grew devilish and his imagination on dangerous levels. Greed would be eating dirt tonight.
"Well, there was this time when he was in the shower getting ready for your date, did you know he talks to my duck?" Ling smiled innocently.
Lena's expression was highly amused, "Mr. Ducky?" she tilted her head, her lips quivering to not break out into laughter.
Ling laughed, "Uh-huh,"
"I'LL BAN YOU INTO THE PITS OF HELL! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON AIR! CHOKE DAMN IT CHOKE! I HOPE YOU'LL GET HIT BY A TANK! WHERE'S ARMSTRONG WHEN YOU NEED HER?!" Greed comically raged inside their mind.
Ling just grinned, "Sorry, me no understand this funny language,"
Lan Fan panted as she blocked another kunai aimed at her neck, followed by a swift, strong kick to her midsection, her forearm coming to guard her opening and immediately retaliate against her assailant with a swift jab to the ribs, momentarily making her opponent stagger.
"Oww that hurt Lan Fan!...in here..." the male pointed to his chest, where his heart was, and Lan Fan blushed under her mask, fighting the urge to roll her eyes and reprimand the prince...or should she say emperor.
"My Lord, please concentrate, we are in the middle of training," Lan Fan made sure her voice didn't reveal her emotions, her flustered state rapidly being stomped down by her firm sense of duty to her superior.
"Yes, my Lord, concentrate!" Greed grinned, sharp, demonic teeth flashing as he laughed, the laugh of the Homunculus echoing inside Ling's head.
Ling's eyes narrowed, "Not a word from you! I had to endure listening to how adorable and beautiful and smart Lena was for nearly 22 hours! Now shut up and leave me in peace!" Ling snapped back, annoyed with the grouchy Homunculus.
That earned a low whistle from Greed, "Ohh, the dog can bite huh? Well, ya ain't getting away unpunished! I don't care if you're the Emperor of Xing, you ruined my date you mangy jerk!" Greed's rage flared, the powerful chi licking at the restraints Ling had on him.
Lan Fan easily detected the flare in chi, belonging to the Homunculus and wondered what it was they were mentally conversing about as she blocked another strike from her master and friend.
Ling smirked, "As if you need me to ruin your date! You can do that all by yourself!" before Greed could make a very nasty retort that would even prompt mothers to wash their children's ears should they hear such a thing, a familiar, lovely voice suddenly called out.
"Hey Lan Fan!" Lena called happily, waving at the ninja woman who sheathed her weapons and straightened, waving back with a smile at Lena.
"Hello Lena," she greeted pleasantly, a tired smile on her face before she quickly took off her mask, shyly blushing when Lena giggled at the action.
"Oh no, don't! GREED-!" Ling's warning was promptly cut off when Greed's thoughts invaded the whole abyss of souls inside his head.
"MY LADY!" Ling found himself to be the one sitting among the screaming souls while watching in seething anger how Greed, in his body, starting running full speed toward his beloved.
Lena jumped, "G-Greed?" she recognized the rakish grin he bestowed her with and the all too familiar violet eyes lighting up in happiness and mischief.
She squealed in surprise when he wrapped his arms around her waist and hauled her up in the air, twirling her about as she frantically grabbed his head to steady herself, "W-woah! Greed! Uh, nice to see you too!" she chuckled in embarrassment, blushing when Lan Fan's expression turned sly and teasing.
Greed grinned, pressing his face into her soft stomach covered by the fabric of her shirt, nuzzling into her like a big dog.
"Oh please Truth save me from this torture..." Ling drawled and the words prompted Greed to retort back.
"Shut it piss ant! Let me enjoy my woman for a while!" his grin only widened, laughing as he twirled her about before finally setting her down.
Lena briefly wobbled on unsteady feet, grasping her boyfriend's broad, bare shoulder to steady herself, Greed wiggled his eyebrows, a grin on his face, "What? Growing weak knees in my presence?"
Lena frowned flatly, "No...but I think it's from your spinning!" she playfully swatted at his chest and as punishment Greed grabbed her wrist and snugly pressed her to him.
His grin was devilish and Lena's face flushed against her will, oh she was always weak against that sexy, roguish smirk he gave her. Though very unlike how people viewed him, Greed leaned down and bestowed a gentle, loving kiss on her forehead, grinning widely and nuzzling into her hair.
"I missed you sweets," Lena chuckled softly at his remark, his own voice had turned softer.
"Yeah, yeah, I missed you too," Lena rolled her eyes playfully, before quickly and roughly shoving him away when she noticed poor Lan Fan looking like a third wheel, awkwardly shfitng her weight and looking everywhere but at them.
It dawned on Lena, "Ah! That's right! Oh my god what the hell am I doing?! Her boyfriend's in there too! Damn it!" Lena quickly moved at least three large steps away from Greed, who looked like a kicked puppy.
"Uh, sorry Ling! I..um...I..." Lena scratched the back of her neck awkwardly, blushing profusely. Lan Fan did the same.
Greed was not amused, "DAMN IT LING! Even without you interfering you're ruining my day! Ugh!"
Ling was smirking smugly, "Why I don't know what you mean, dear Greed," his eyes opened and suddenly he found himself in possession of his own body again.
The kind smile and closed eyes of Ling greeted both women, "Hello ladies, my apologies, it seems like I forgot to take Greed out to a walk today that's why he's so moody," he laughed.
Lena smiled awkwardly and Lan Fan just looked out of place. Until Ling set his eyes on her and she instinctively shivered.
"Lan Fan is such a cutie right Lena?!" Ling wrapped an arm around Lan Fan's shoulders, pressing her close to him and nuzzling his face against her own.
"Uh, yeah she sure is," Lena winked at a tomato faced Lan Fan, who squeaked at being so intimately close to her Emperor and close friend.
"Your concentration may be a little off Lan Fan, but you did good today," Ling boldly clapped Lan Fan's lower back, just above the curve of her behind and she flushed a ripe tomato red.
Lena covered her mouth with her hands, highly amused by the whole situation, not to mention fighting down from laughing out loud for Lan Fan's sake.
Lan Fan looked like she wanted to retort something in the lines of, "Actually, it was you who wasn't concentrated today," but she chose to leave her thoughts to herself, swallowing down her embarrassment as her face took on a relatively normal rosy color.
Lena grinned, discreetly giving Lan Fan a 'thumbs up' gesture and winking suggestively, which resulted in Lan Fan covering her red face while Ling just laughed and continued hogging her to himself.
Lena shook her head smiling then she called playfully, "Hey Greed! Maybe you should start hogging me too, I feel like a third wheel here!"
"I'M COMING SWEETS! HANG ON! YOUR BADASS MAN IS COMING!" Ling's eyes widened as Greed announced his comeback boldly and he felt his control waning.
What was meant to be a joke was taken quite seriously as she was suddenly enveloped in strong, warm arms and her boyfriend nuzzling her like a oversized, cuddly cat.
Lena mumbled into Greed's solid chest with a blank expression on her face, poor Lan Fan staring clueless and somewhat hurt, "Uhm...oh Greed darling..."
"Yeah sweetie?" Greed grinned widely.
A fist in his face quickly snapped him out of his favorite place, "TELL LING TO COME OUT AND GO OVER TO HIS GIRLFRIEND!" Lena roared, looking like a demonic bull with red glowing eyes and steam escaping her nose as she growled at her boyfriend.
Greed backtracked in a frenzy, feeling his girlfriend's wrath rolling off her in waves, "B-but I wanted some cuddle time with-"
"NOW!" Lena wasn't one to be trifled with when angry...
Ling was out and about in seconds.
Lan Fan's face was burning as Ling situated her on his lap, player with her hair and talked about how sunny the weather was and how stupid Homunculi could be, all the while Lan Fan's face taking interesting different shades of red.
"Alright...we have called for an intervention because this can't go on any longer," Ed stood tall with crossed arms, sweat forming at his forehead as he sighed heavily. A banner with the word "Intervention Personality Disorder" was hung up on the wall, Winry, Mei, Al, Roy and Riza all stood behind him, nodding their heads in approval.
Greedling was sat on a stool, with Lena and Lan Fan on either side of him and he rapidly looked between the two women.
"Greeling you-"
"Stop calling me that kid! It's Greed!" Greed barked at the Fullmetal Alchemist, "And why the hell am I bound to a chair?!" Greed fruitlessly squirmed in his seat, trying to free himself of his steel bonds. Well damn.
Ed crossed his arms, "I don't care! And stop calling me kid!" Ed grit his teeth before taking a calming breath, "We decided that we need to solve your problem..." he pointedly looked between Lan Fan and Lena then looked back at Greed.
"I don't see a problem!" Greed shot back, huffing in annoyance.
Lena rose an eyebrow, pointedly looking at her boyfriend, who turned his head away and attempted to stubbornly ignore her look.
She sighed, "Greed...don't you think that this," she gestured with her finger between herself and Greed, "-will be a problem in the near future?"
Greed chose to be oblivious today, "No...I can always beat Ling into submission and we will have our peace!" he shot back.
"Well would you want your soulmate Ling to see me naked too?!" she glared at him.
"Ohhhh!" a chorus of suggestive and surprised 'oohhs' came from the whole team.
Greed froze, robotically turning his head toward her, his brain short circuited, "Uhm, uh, w-wha-wha-huh? Come again sweets? Could you r-repeat that I think I heard it wrong..." a dazed look crossed his features.
Lena sighed with a blush on her cheeks, she leaned forward toward Greed and whispered into his ear.
A few seconds passed before Lena backed away from him and Greed straightened up, his voice flat and serious, "We need help," he nodded in assurance.
Ed sighed, slamming his hand against his face, "Oh brother..." he shook his head, "W-well, finally you realized it! Sheesh..." there was a light blush on his cheeks from Lena's earlier comment, which made him immediately think of his wife Winry, who just smirked in triumph.
"So, can you take him out of me or what?" it was Ling this time, his face completely relaxed.
"Hm...perhaps we can help them with alchemy brother?" Alphonse asked curiously, sharing a wondrous look with Mei.
Ed rubbed his chin thoughtfully, before spotting the ever present wrench on the coffee table. He grinned.
He walked towards the small table and picked up the wrench, silently marveling at its heavy weight and how his wife was able to swing a wrench so many times a day, especially at a moving target, him.
Ed approached the sitting Ling, who looked up at in confusion. Lan Fan tilted her head and Lena smirked.
Ed promptly swung the wrench at Ling's head and a roar of pain echoed in the Elric-Rockbell house.
This time Greed was back in control, clutching at his regenerating head, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR YOU FULLMETAL PUNK?!"
Ed shrugged, sighing, "I thought I could beat you out of Ling..."
Winry snorted and walked up to her husband, "Now Ed, that's not how you do it." She calmly plucked her wrench from his grasp, her eyes twinkling in mischief.
Lena and Lan Fan quickly moved out of the way for fear of collateral damage.
"What?! No wait don't-!" Greed began to say but was cut off by Winry's all mighty right wrench hook, K.O.-ing him in the first hit.
Greedling's nose was a bloody mess, probably broken, his face scrunched up as the stool broke and cracks along the wall appeared from the impact against it.
Ed was holding up a poster reading "BEST WRENCH!" in bold, red letters and Winry smirking proudly to herself, sparkling just like a certain Strong Arm Alchemist.
Lena and Lan Fan looked at their boyfriends before turning to look back at their friends.
Both women sighed, "It looks like they need help..." Lena nodded to Lan Fan's statement, fully supporting her claim.
Their friends needed help. Fast.
Hihi, done for now! :3 BTW: Anyone want me to write a funny chapter based off of "America First" videos with all those countries but here it will be "Amestris Second, Xing Third"? It's on Chapter 35: Ideas for Chapter! Look it up and tell me what you think! Yes or no?