"Hailey, have you seen my green t-shirt? I thought I left it here."
Hailey heard his voice and skipped the last two steps before approaching her bedroom. Jay was hunched over inside her closet digging into the small portion he had now occupied with some of his clothes and Hailey giggled as she heard him keep muttering.
"Okay, Hails, I found it!" He screamed again, not knowing she was watching him silently. He quickly slipped it on before turning to see her leaning against the door jamb.
"What?"
Hailey smiled as she approached him. She slipped her arms around his hips and raised her face to be able to look at him.
"You know, you could just bring more clothes here without going crazy with the laundry every time."
Jay smiled slyly and tilted his head to one side.
"It looks like we're having a serious conversation here."
Hailey shrugged pretending not to understand the point of his sentence and continued hiding her embarrassment by tying her hair into a messy ponytail.
"I'm just saying that every morning you wake up here you lose your mind."
Jay walked over to her leaving a quick kiss on her lips before hopping down her stairs, "You're cute when you're embarrassed."
She snorted at his stupidity before following him downstairs.
The coffee was ready and the clock showed how early they woke up that morning.
She had never been a true sleeper, but she had always loved having a few more minutes of sleep. But since she spent most of her nights with Jay, she had hopelessly begun to get used to his sleep schedule. And Jay had some really hellish sleep schedule.
Sometimes she heard him get up at six in the morning just to go for a run and she snorted her indignation, turning on the other side and going back to sleep. If he didn't go running, he still woke up at half past six, even without alarm on - and it was really hellish how he managed to be snappy at that time of dawn.
Some mornings, she would slip in the shower with him, just because he knew how to be really convincing. But other mornings, she waited for him in her bed, half asleep, to slip over to him when he went back to lie down beside her for a few more minutes.
They were little habits so simple and adorable that she really didn't mind learning how to wake up a little earlier than usual, just to stay with him.
She blinked a few times before bringing coming back into focus as he poured the coffee into two mugs.
"Apple or cereal bar?"
"Apple." He replied with his head in the fridge, "Yogurt?"
"Yes, thanks."
They dropped their breakfasts on the table before sitting down to eat.
And, again, Hailey was amazed at those little habits that arose without them really noticing.
"How will your day be?"
"Uhm, tomorrow I'll be in court, consultant for a trial. So I guess I'll spend today going over my notes."
Jay wrinkled his nose, "Boring."
She shrugged, hiding a smile behind her last sip of coffee.
He was totally right, but she would never give him the satisfaction of admitting it.
She gave him a quick kiss on his cheek before washing the two mugs, just as he ran into the living room to answer his phone.
She overheard a hasty conversation and, the next moment, Jay was putting on his shoes with the badge already tied to his belt.
"Shooting, I have to go."
"Jay."
Hailey took a step toward him, putting her hands in the pockets of her jeans.
He stopped and smiled quickly, "Talk later, okay?"
She nodded slowly as he finished getting ready and she couldn't help but feel her stomach tighten in a grip.
"Just…stay safe."
He froze again, his hands clutching the gun to his belt and a startled look on his face - almost like he didn't expect that.
He reached her in a few steps and leaned over her before kissing her slowly. Hailey didn't have time to lift her hand to rest on his neck that Jay had already stepped away from her with an apologetic smile on his lips.
"I always stay safe!" He screamed before closing the door behind him.
And the silence suddenly seemed to get too disturbing.
...
"Hey, someone is calling you."
Meg gave her a light kick under the desk and she looked up from her documents noticing her head leaning towards the phone vibrating on top of a stack of papers in the corner of the desk.
Hailey fanned her face with one hand rumbling for the heat of that day and smiled at the sight of whoever was calling her.
"Hey."
"Hailey." The calm voice of the man on the other side of the line made her squint with pleasure, "Am I bothering you?"
"You never bother me. You need something?"
He was silent for a few seconds and she could clearly hear some voices in the background.
"I know that today you have nothing important to do..."
"This is not true, no." She laughed, shaking her head.
"Yeah, whatever."
Hailey could almost imagine the way Jay rolled his eyes in amusement.
"Anyway, what if I'll make you a better offer?"
She sat up slightly in her chair, "Uh, like?"
"Like doing your magic with two kids here in the district?"
Hailey smiled impatiently, "When can I come?"
Jay laughed in a low and warm laugh.
"Whenever you want."
Hailey didn't really need to answer him again.
One moment she was drowned in documents, the next she was walking through the doors of the 21st District.
The Desk Sergeant seemed to be able to own the whole building with a simple glance and, each time, Hailey was impressed by her. Certainly scared, but most of all impressed.
She was just a few steps away from her when a voice called from behind and Kevin walked up to her with a smile.
"I thought you were coming!" He hugged her quickly before waving a hand at Sergeant Platt and pushing Hailey towards the Intelligence stairs.
"Hi Kev, good to see you."
"Bring some sunshine to this gray place."
Hailey laughed at his cheesiness but by now she was getting used to his gentle way of making her feel part of their group.
She had been out with them multiple times and she had never felt left out - Kevin was probably her favorite person in there. His sincere kindness warmed her heart every time.
"Voight?"
Hailey gestured to his empty office with a nod. She still couldn't accept Voight's way of doing things, he slipped under her skin leaving her annoyed every time.
"Not here." Kevin shrugged, "Halstead is in charge today."
"Okay then tell me, what did I come here for?"
"Come with me."
She followed him to the break room where, sitting in the corner of the couch, a kid no more than ten was twisting the braid of a smaller girl curled up against his side.
"Jack and Layla Parker, seven and four years old. They were in the house when their father, Aaron Parker, came down to take out the trash. He was caught in a gang fight and got killed."
They remained hidden in silence looking at the two children in front of them.
"Are they witnesses? Should I get them to talk?"
"No, they haven't seen anything but they have no one to be with. We are looking for the mother who should be out of Chicago on business. We just thought they might do well to have someone to talk to."
She nodded as she loosened her hair from that morning's high ponytail.
"I have to go. We're all down to eavesdropping and on surveillance cameras. Do you mind staying here alone?"
"Don't worry." Hailey brushed him off with an indifferent gesture, her head already focused on what awaited her.
She slowly opened the door and immediately felt two pairs of eyes shift to her.
"Hi, I'm Hailey. Can I stay here for a while with you?"
The little girl nodded slowly, while the kid narrowed his eyes in two thin lines passing an arm on the shoulders of her sister, holding her to himself.
Hailey chose a chair not too far from them and pulled out a stack of papers, pretending to focus on them.
She didn't know how long it really was before Jack broke the silence.
"Why are you here if you don't talk to us?"
Hailey hid a smile behind her hair, "Do you want me to talk to you?"
He shrugged pretending an indifference that, Hailey knew, he didn't feel.
"I told you my name, what are yours?"
"This is Layla, I'm Jack."
She nodded slowly, "Would you like something to drink? Shall we make some tea?"
"Yes, please." Layla's shy voice was just a soft breath in the silence of the room, but Hailey heard it immediately.
She moved to the kettle filling it with water and when she turned over, she saw the two siblings talking quietly on the couch. Jack was braiding Layla's hair as she laughed softly.
"You are very good at making braids."
"Oh thanks." Jack blushed immediately and Layla smiled at him.
Her hazel eyes were so different from Jack's, but her shy smile was the same.
Jack hugged her back against him and for a moment Hailey could almost remember how it was being hugged by her brothers like this - as if he just wanted to protect her from the world.
Layla grabbed her braid, then pointing to Jack, "It was mom."
"Did your mom teach you to make a braid?"
"Yes, she makes the most beautiful braids in the world."
She smiled as she placed three mugs on the table and silently asked them to sit with her.
Layla got off her brother's legs and stretched her arms out towards her. Her blind faith and her little shyness in every gestures made her heart clench.
"Do you want to sit on my lap?"
"Yes, please."
Hailey noticed the way Jack chewed his lower lip and clenched his hands in two fists. Then he sighed slowly as he sat down at the table and she took his silence as a tacit acceptance. She took Layla in her arms and the girl curled up against her laughing slightly.
The hours passed slowly and, little by little, the children began to open up to her.
Layla faced her four years of age with the curiosity typical of a happy child. She was still too young to really understand what had happened that morning and that afternoon she had managed to stay busy enough not to get bored and start wondering why.
Jack, on the other hand, was a whole other story. He had continued to glare at her as sitting drawing at the table, probably wondering if he could trust her.
But after so many hours together, Hailey saw some signs of openness.
He closed his eyes from exhaustion letting his head slide over her shoulder, and Hailey accepted that gesture with her heart fluttering fast in her chest. He had grabbed her hand, hours before, when Adam walked into the break room and warned her that they had contacted their mom and she would be there by late afternoon.
Layla had fallen asleep about an hour ago and was now occupying a corner of the couch, leaving Jack on the other side and Hailey in the chair.
The kid stretched his legs over the couch hitting her chair and she lowered the papers she was reading.
"I know you're here to talk to me about what's going on today."
"Why do you say that?"
Jack shrugged, "Detective Jay told me you were coming here. A good woman to talk to."
Hailey smiled at the way he called Jay.
"Was Detective Jay good?"
"Yup." Jack nodded forcefully, "He brought us here after the hospital. And he bought us two fruit juices."
"Sounds good." She smiled gently at him, tapping her fingers on his knee.
Jack sighed loudly and, after a few moments, Hailey saw him shake his hands against his sweatshirt, "Dad won't come home anymore, is he?"
"No." Hailey breathed softly, "He won't. I'm so sorry, Jack."
"But mom is coming to pick us up, right?"
His lower lip quivered and he rubbed his tear-filled green eyes.
"Of course! Of course, Jack, your mom is on her way."
Jack nodded at her by sniffing and Hailey felt her heart ache.
Now Jack looked even smaller than his seven years and was facing something that any child should never experience.
"I miss my dad already."
Jack sniffed again before sobbing slightly. His head immediately snapped to Layla, who was still sound asleep.
But when Jack met her eyes again, he couldn't hold back another sob and thrust his fists into his eyes.
It was a heartbreaking and Hailey knew she would never forget it. She worked with children, this was certainly not the first time. Yet something about Jack's silent despair left her mind clouded for a second.
"Can you…hug me?" His voice was almost a whisper, but his eyes screamed all the sadness a child should never feel.
"Come here. Come here."
Hailey stood up wrapping her arms around him and let Jack clench his fists against her shirt.
She closed the break room door behind her with Jack still clinging firmly to her neck, too busy sobbing silently to notice they were moving.
Hailey slid against the wall until she sat down on the floor, her body jolting slightly with each of his little sob.
"It's okay, it's okay. Breathe Jack, just breathe."
She saw Jay's head poke around the corner but she blinked shaking her head and he disappeared again.
She felt like she had been sitting there for centuries, but finally Jack seemed to relax by melting a little against her and Hailey continued to stroke his hair until she felt him breathe more slowly.
"I have to go to Layla. Please."
His voice trembled and he slid off her legs and she slowly stood up. They went back into the break room only to see Layla laugh slightly with Jay. She was still curled up on the couch but her eyes shone merrily in the dim afternoon light.
Jack ran over to her and immediately sat down next to her before greeting Jay by giving him a fist bump and grabbing the sandwich he was holding out for him.
Hailey sat in the vacant chair, silently watching the exchange between them. According to what Adam had told her, their mom would arrive within an hour and, honestly, she couldn't wait to let them reunite. Despite the brave front Jack had maintained for most of the day, he was sad and exhausted and just needed his mom.
"Do you think we can get a cat?"
Layla's soft voice woke Hailey from her warmth and she saw Jack evaluate her question.
"I don't know. Mum doesn't like cats."
"But they are cute!"
Jack snorted and Layla patted her hands against his arm, "Come on, a kitten. Please, Jack!"
Hailey cleared her throat, "I had a kitten, you know? When I was younger."
"Really?" Layla looked at her with all the astonishment of a four-year-old girl.
"Yup. It was all black and so soft and I loved hugging it. I would like another one, you know? Just like you."
Layla looked at her smiling, "Yes, Jack! A kitten!"
"Yeah, okay." He shrugged, looking up at her, "We can try."
Layla clapped her hands laughing happily and Hailey's heart fluttered again.
Jay tapped Jack's knee to get their attention, "Guys, can I talk to Hailey a sec?"
At a disinterested nod, Hailey followed him out of the room and leaned against the wall beside him.
"Their mother will be here in thirty minutes."
She nodded slowly, narrowing her eyes before loosening her stiff shoulders. She looked up to see Jay's green eyes staring at her in amusement. It was the first time in all day that she had seen him and she breathed happily for those few minutes together.
"Hi."
"Hi to you." He chuckled, "I'm sorry about the documents you would have to studied."
"Ah, shut up." She laughed, shaking her head.
"How are you?" Jay stood in front of her and anticipated her response by continuing, "I mean, it's your job, I know. But, really, how are you?"
That he could read her so well was something that terrified her and made her fall in love every time.
"Good. Jack is…strong. He is seven and has a sense of protection for her sister and that is admirable."
"Will they be okay?"
She sighed, "They'll be fine, yeah. The most important thing now is that they go back with their mother."
"You're a good one, you know?" Jay squeezed her hand lightly before smiling at her and disappearing down the hall.
...
When Amanda finally arrived at the district, Hailey could see a spark of calm in Jack's eyes. Layla was still unaware of the drama that was happening in their life and she welcomed the arrival of her mom with all the spontaneous joy she could have.
Jack, on the other hand, hugged Amanda as if she were his anchor - and probably she really was.
Before going down the stairs, Layla hugged Hailey tightly and squeezed her little hands on her cheeks leaving a quick kiss on her nose, before returning to her mom's arms. Her gesture made everyone laugh and her heart fluttered quickly in her chest.
Jack reached out a hand to her who gladly grabbed it.
"Thanks, Hailey."
His lower lip flickered imperceptibly and Hailey knelt in front of him.
"Jack. For anything, call me."
She slipped her business card into his little hand and Jack nodded again.
When a tear ran down his cheek, he brushed it away in anger and Hailey wrapped him in her arms again.
"Everything will be fine. Call me, okay? If you need to talk, call me."
Jack nodded with his fists clenched in her shirt and walked away from her grabbing her mom's hand.
Amanda took Layla in her arms and squeezed Jack's with her other hand. She gave them a nod of thanks before slowly walking away. They were already on the first steps when the little girl's voice made everyone turn.
"Hailey, when we get a cat, can I call you?"
Hailey laughed shaking her head, "Absolutely. You can do that."
Layla waved a hand at her and they disappeared at the bottom of the stairs.
"You did good today." Jay hit her arm with a file as Kevin squeezed her shoulder.
"I've never had any doubts." He winked at her and she giggled lightly.
Kim squeezed her hand in a gentle grip and, not for the first time, Hailey felt part of something big - something good.
"Good." Adam crashed into his chair, "I'm ready to go home."
A chorus of assent rose behind her and Hailey sat on the edge of Jay's desk to wait for him to start preparing to go home.
"And anyway, we're not getting a cat. If you want, we can think of a dog."
Hailey jerked her head up at his words and smiled slightly, staring at him as he signed the last sheet.
"I didn't know we had to choose together."
Jay shrugged smiling, "Eh."
He left a file in Voight's office while the rest of the unit shook their heads slightly in amusement.
Jay holstered the gun and gestured towards the stairs, "Shall we go?"
And Hailey thought that she probably could really get used to all of that.
The early night air was warm as they all went to their cars. Jay's arm burned on her shoulders and she slowly shrugged it off to reach her car across the street.
"Hey Hailey!" Kim ran up to her, looking over her shoulder. The rest of the unit was leaving and they were the last ones left.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to say…he deserves the world, you know? It's not about me, but I care about him. And I just wanted to tell you that…you are really good for him."
Kim looked at her embarrassed and Hailey smiled at her squeezing her shoulder.
"He's good for me too."
She smiled at her again as she got into the car with her heart lighter.
She liked Kim and she liked how much she cared about Jay. He was…he needed people like her in his life.
...
She had just poured a glass of wine with her hair still wet and the windows open letting in a little air when her doorbell rang making her jump.
"Hey."
Jay gave her a quick kiss before walking past her with a shoulder bag and she closed the door behind her in confusion.
She led him into the kitchen to pour him a glass of wine as he dropped the bag with a thud at his feet.
Jay slid his arms around her hips sighing heavily as he rested his head in her neck.
"Today was..."
"Difficult." She sighed stroking his arms, "Did you solve the case?"
Jay nodded, "Absurd how Parker died in a gang fight, where he had nothing to do with."
They remained silent. Hailey kept stroking his arms tied around her hips with her eyes closed.
"It's never easy to give such information to children."
His voice was low and he seemed to want to face the conversation without really wanting to face it.
"I'm fine, it's my job. This is not the first time I've had to do it."
"Hailey."
"I'm fine, Jay, I swear."
She rolled over in his arms until she met his lips in a soft, slow kiss.
His hands slid down her back in a soft caress and suddenly Jay was her home again. He was warmth and calm, a silver shield to rely on. Jay was silent and steady. He respected her silences by giving her time to let him in - he was someone she would never find again.
And for some reason, he was choosing her.
Jay pushed her back until she crashed into the table and the two full glasses of wine vibrated dangerously behind her.
He chuckled as he grabbed one and sat down heavily in a chair.
"You could have waited for me for the shower, you know?"
"I was going to call you missing, actually." Hailey laughed sitting on his lap and resting her head against his shoulder.
"Yeah, I had to do some things at home."
Hailey hummed against his skin. She never got tired of hearing him breathe against her.
She drew invisible lines down his arm, his freckles as her favorite path in life.
"You are my favorite freckled guy." She breathed into his neck.
He chuckled, "I'm your only one."
"Freckled?"
"No, guy."
"Oh, you're jealous."
Hailey laughed with her lips pressed against his jaw. His short beard scratched her skin as he laughed lightly beneath her.
"Hey, I have to tell you something."
Jay sighed taking a deep breath and she raised her head to look at him.
He tilted his head to the side smiling stupidly, "I brought extra clothes. You were right this morning, it's a good idea."
"I'm not surprised, I'm always right."
"Yeah, okay." He brushed her off rolling his eyes, "I think…we could move in together."
He dropped it like a bomb between them and she opened her mouth but remained silent.
"I mean, we pay two rents but we end up staying either at your place or at mine all the time. Could we just…I don't know, look for another one?"
"Looking for our home?"
"Yup." Jay frowned.
"Together?"
Jay tilted his head slightly defensively, "That would be my idea, yes. But…"
Hailey smiled slowly, placing her hands on his chest.
"I love your idea, Jay."
"Really?"
"Sure, I can't wait." She met her lips in a light kiss, "Let's move in together."
"But we're not getting a cat."
Hailey laughed out loud and he kissed her again just to silence her - her laugh that got lost against his soft lips.
Jay pulled her to her feet and let his hands slide down her hips before slipping under her butt and pulling her against him. Her legs tied behind his back and Hailey kept on laughing between their kisses as Jay led her to the bedroom.
"So are we really going to move in together?"
"So it seems, yeah." He nodded proudly before dropping her onto the bed.
Hailey bounced lightly on it and immediately reached out to tie her hands behind his neck and drag him over her as he laughed happily.
Jay could read her heart with simplicity - as if they had known each other forever, as if it were fate they would meet.
He could make her see beyond the boundaries of what she really was and, with him, she wasn't afraid anymore.
To all of you who read me, thank you.
To Beth, two peas in a pod.