'Going home now in an Uber. Call me when you can.'

Hailey put her phone in her pocket as her Uber stopped in front of her.

They slipped into midday traffic to enter Chicago and she checked her phone one more time before staring at Chicago skyline.

She had been in Atlanta for a couple of days on a case she was asked to cooperate on. But, all along, she had terribly missed Chicago. All that Chicago was, all that Chicago represented to her.

Her phone continued to be silent and she wasn't particularly surprised by Jay's silence, she knew they had been on a case from the day before and he was probably just too busy to call her back. But they agreed that he would pick her up once her plane landed and she expected at least a message from him.

It was just a feeling in her stomach - nothing to really pay attention to, after all.

The driver gave her a sorry smile for the traffic that was slowing down their return to the city which she kindly returned.

The sealed letter in her purse drew all of her attention and she could almost feel it burn through the layers of fabric.

What was written in the letter was great and interesting and, in any other situation, she would have found that decision much easier. But in another situation she didn't have a life waiting for her in Chicago - at home.

"Hey, your phone's ringing."

The driver's voice, Mike, tore her from her thoughts and she answered her phone by throwing him a quick apologetic smile.

"Hailey, hi. It's Kevin."

She squeezed the phone harder because Kevin calling her was definitely not a good sign.

The sudden tightening in the stomach she had felt until a few moments before, made her sit up straighter.

"Listen, maybe you should go to Med. Jay's going there now…Kim is with him."

"To Med." She stupidly repeated, "What happened?"

"He fell and is a bit bruised. I think a wounded arm, maybe hit his head. Honestly I was not there, I've just arrived on the scene."

His words didn't do much to ease the tightening in her stomach.

"Oh okay, thanks Kev."

"And, Hailey?" He called her back before she could end the call, "It's not serious, okay?"

She nodded, not remembering he couldn't really see her, and dropped the phone on her lap.

"I'm sorry, I…can we go to Med?"

"Sure." He nodded changing lanes, "I hope for nothing serious."

"Yes, I hope so too." She sighed with her gaze on the Chicago skyline.

...

Hailey dragged the small suitcase through the ER doors to see Kim leaning against the windows on the other side of the room. Her gaze was so focused on the void that she didn't notice her arrival.

"Kim, hey!"

The woman looked up at her before taking a deep breath and taking a few steps in her direction. Hailey immediately noticed the slight shaking of her hands but Kim hid them in her pockets with mock ease.

"I'm sorry, I..."

Hailey brushed her off with a tight smile before sitting by the window Kim occupied until seconds before.

"What happened?"

Kim sat stiffly next to her, "We were arresting a suspect and Jay chased him up some rooftops. They both fell from three meters, I think."

Hailey put her hand on her knee trying to stop the nervous movement of her legs.

"Kim. Breathe."

"His arm was bad. And he's been confused all the way to here, I'm pretty sure he hit his head."

Her words slipped inside her like they were sour and Hailey breathed shakily before looking up at Kim.

Her eyes were still wide with concern and, in that moment, Hailey realized she couldn't panic.

She felt fear slide down her spine. Not knowing how he was doing drove her crazy, but losing control wasn't a reasonable option.

She couldn't do anything for Jay right now and, knowing him, he would only ask her one thing - staying with Kim.

"Everything will be fine."

She said squeezing her knee and Kim nodded while breathing deeply.

They sank into a silence interrupted by the sounds of the ER.

Hailey let her gaze wander around them aware of Kim's eyes always on her.

"You know my job is to study people's behavior, right?" She asked ironically.

Kim let out another heavy breath, "I was there and I didn't do anything to prevent it."

"Of course you did something. You caught the suspect and called an ambo."

The woman shook her head and Hailey squeezed her knee again.

"I'll take Jay home later and I can get mad at him for being such a reckless idiot. But it's not on you."

Kim laughed at her, wiping away a tear and leaning lightly against her. If Hailey tried hard enough, she was sure she would be able to hear her thoughts.

"Your job is dangerous." She began after a few seconds, "But I'm glad Jay has you, you know?"

"Thank you."

Kim whispered, resting her head against her shoulder.

...

"Hey!" Adam and Kevin strode up to them and Kim jumped to her feet before Hailey could even blink her eyes.

"News?"

Kevin nodded, "Howard is in Med and confessed. Probably broken ankle and some scratches."

"Nothing that could stop Voight from talking to him." Adam laughed shaking his head, "Rojas and Rixton are with him now."

Jay had told her about the two new additions to their team one night. Intelligence had worked with Rixton years ago, but Rojas had just left the academy and he was amazed at how easily she had adapted to Voight. Except for the first few days, defined by Jay as "rocky," Vanessa had entered the role fairly quickly.

"Anything about Jay?" Kevin sat down next to Hailey pulling her into a side hug.

"Will came here about an hour ago. They were taking Jay for a CT."

Hailey welcomed Kevin's hug. She had been in control of her nerves so far but she was just starting to get nervous and she just wanted to see Jay.

Will had assured her he would be fine but she just needed to see it with her eyes.

"Broken wrist. And he's pretty pretty nervous." Kim finished the sentence for her, while Hailey closed her eyes in Kevin's comforting arm.

"Ah." Adam shook his head, "Not surprised at all. He always goes hard not to ge to Med."

Hailey didn't miss Adam's hand lingering on Kim's back and the gentle squeeze against her side and she hid a knowing smile behind the now cold coffee.

She would definitely tell Jay, she told herself feeling a thump in her heart.

He was her best friend and the person she wanted to share her life with. And right now she just needed to see him and make sure he was fine.

She hid her shaking hands under her thighs as Kevin tightened lightly the grip against her.

"Hey guys." Will came out of the ER doors and Hailey got up to join him, "The CT results came in and they show a slight head injury."

"Can I see him?" Hailey slipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans trying to avoid stepping over Will and making her way into the ER.

It wasn't hard for her to stay calm and reason in those situations, but she was starting to feel worry and fatigue crashing in waves over her against her and she knew it was starting to get difficult to stay calm.

"He's still pretty anxious. He doesn't want to take anything for the pain and…"

"It's okay, I can handle him. Please, Will."

She waited for a nod from him before grabbing the suitcase and turning to the rest of his unit.

"Just go home, okay? You don't have to wait here. I'll text you how he is."

"No way. Go get our guy back." Kevin pushed her towards Will with a smile.

The doctor took her to a drawn curtain and she slipped inside in silence.

Jay lay on the bed with his eyes closed. His forehead was shiny with sweat and the grimace of pain on his face was a clear sign of how bad he felt.

"Jay."

He opened his eye and took a few seconds to bring her into focus but then a crooked smile slipped onto his lips.

"Hey you."

She moved closer as he struggled to his feet, his skin pale and sweaty. He put his legs out of bed and staggered violently as he stretched his arm towards her.

"What the hell happened?"

Hailey couldn't hold back the sob that slipped from her lips as her fingers brushed the thick band-aid that occupied his temple and Jay reacted immediately by wrinkling his nose.

She let her hand slip behind his neck and he leaned lightly on her touch before leaning toward her and breathed against her neck.

"I think I'll be a little crooked for a while. But Will is a drama queen, I want to take the cast off."

"You can't get the cast off. You broke your wrist." Will retorted, standing by the tent.

Jay lifted his head angrily, "It bothers me."

"Jay! C'mon, you're impossible. It's just…"

"Okay, stop it. Will, that's enough." Hailey silenced him with a look before turning to Jay.

"You have to keep the cast, just for a while." Hailey let her hand slide down his neck, "But that's okay, after that your arm won't hurt anymore."

"Can we just…can we go home?"

He kept muttering in a disjointed manner and she sighed slowly, stroking the back of his neck.

"Yeah, we're almost done here. But Will told me you took nothing for the pain."

"I don't like those things. It makes me feel confused. And slowed down."

"I know, I know." She whispered, "But you're sick. I can see you feel bad. Can you get something?"

Jay whimpered with his forehead still resting in the crock of her neck.

"Just to make the pain bearable. Please, Jay. Do it for me."

Jay considered his options slowly, his eyes clouded with pain. And then, just as slowly, he nodded. His good hand slipped behind her back pushing her against him and he sighed heavily against her again.

"Great. Will, can you give him something light?" Hailey tilted her head towards his brother as an expression of relief slipped into their eyes.

The painkiller took a few minutes to take effect and, by then, Jay seemed to be slightly more lucid. Probably the pain for his broken wrist had made him more confused than he really was and when his eyes finally brought her into focus, Hailey breathed better.

She pushed the wheelchair that Jay kept repeating that he didn't want to use while he held the small suitcase that Hailey had almost forgotten by his bed.

"I can walk, do you know?"

Jay mumbled for the tenth time and Hailey snorted loudly.

"Med policy. Now shut up."

She pushed him towards Kim, Adam and Kevin, all still in the waiting room. Kevin was the first to notice them, while Kim and Adam were too busy in their whispered conversation to notice their arrival.

"Do my eyes deceive me or is that Hailey Upton?"

The deep voice behind her made her jump and smile immediately. She didn't really need to see him to know who he was.

Hailey turned and walked over to him with a big smile, "Doc!"

The man wrapped her in a hug and she felt the usual calm that always surrounded him making its way inside her.

Daniel Charles pulled away from her and, holding her by her shoulders, looked her up and down.

"What are you doing here?"

Hailey nodded to Jay, who was struggling to get out of the wheelchair.

"Oh, young Halstead, yeah. I had heard some gossip about this."

"About what?"

Charles shrugged, "About young Halstead and the psychologist."

Hailey nodded proudly as her gaze slid briefly to Kim as she hugged Jay who was giggling softly.

"How are you, Hailey?"

She closed her eyes for a second. That question, his voice…it was something she had grown up with - something that had made her what she was.

His hand on her shoulder suddenly reminded her where she was and she snapped her eyes open to see him in front of her. Tall and smiling - comfortable.

The laughter behind her made her smile slowly.

"I'm fine. I'm really fine. I'm happy."

He lightly tightened the grip on her shoulder, mirroring her smile and then pushed her back slightly in a silent invitation to return to them.

"Daniel, can I call you to have lunch together?"

"That would make me really happy."

He smiled at her again and the next moment he was gone behind the doors.

Hailey tucked under Jay's good arm and slipped an arm behind his back. He leaned his weight lightly against her and left a quick kiss on her head.

"I didn't know you knew Doctor Charles."

"It's a really long story. One day I'll tell you about it."

He slowly nodded against her hair, squeezing her lightly to his side.

"Adam brought my truck here. Can you drive it?"

"Sure. Let's go home."

'Let's go home' - this new normality.

...

Hailey leaned against the door jamb with her arms folded across the chest.

In the dim light of their bedroom, she could see Jay lying in bed and turning slightly in the blanket with his eyes half closed.

The effect of the mild painkiller Will had given him hours earlier was wearing off, leaving him impatient and sweaty in bed.

He had managed to sleep all afternoon and part of the evening. His sleep interrupted every hour by her waking him up to make sure the head injury didn't get worse.

Asleep Jay had given her time to sit staring at the sealed letter that had been hidden in her jacket all morning.

She hadn't opened it yet, but she knew perfectly well what it said.

Part of her was completely aware of the decision to make, but another part was telling her that maybe, just maybe, she should have weighed all of her options well.

She took a deep breath, focusing again on Jay, still in pain, writhing in bed and she approached him with light footsteps.

"Hi."

She said softly passing a hand through his hair and he suddenly opened his eyes wide.

His look was a mixture of defense and attack and she automatically raised her hands in front of her. It wasn't the first time she'd seen such a look, she worked to help people get rid of those demons. But seeing him in that feeling was something she really couldn't stand.

She just wanted to be able to protect him from whatever shadows still lived inside him.

"Hailey." He breathed in after a few seconds, then groaned and sank slightly into bed, "I'm sorry."

His voice hoarse and his eyes still wild.

She brushed off his apology with an indifferent gesture before letting her hands return through his hair, down his neck, across his lips.

Seeing him hurt in bed, sore and tired, made her feel the need to feel him alive under her hands.

She knew he was alive and that he would be fine, but feeling his warm skin managed to calm the nerves that still ran over her.

His hand touched her fingers resting on his lips and they were both silent for a few seconds.

In the dim light of their bedroom, with his tired green eyes, Hailey could easily believe it was very simple - that she didn't need anything else to live.

"Hailey."

Her name, between his lips, was silk. Silk that slipped gently over her.

She could close her eyes and hear his voice for the rest of her life and all, she was sure, would be fine.

"How do you feel?"

"Better, but I can't sleep anymore. Can we go to the couch?"

"To the couch?"

Jay sighed trying to sit up. He was still in pain and would be for the next few hours, but she knew he wouldn't be able to sit still for very long.

"We could watch a movie here in bed, what do you think?"

He nodded, narrowing his eyes and reaching out to her.

"Cuddling in bed?"

"Yeah, wait for me, I'm taking the laptop."

"Not like I could go away." He muttered as she was walking down the hall and Hailey couldn't help but chuckle.

Let him be a pain in the ass while he's recovering and he'll be happy, she laughed softly.

She slipped into bed next to him after placing the laptop at the end of the bed.

"Which movie?"

"Whatever you want, I don't care."

Hailey snorted a light laugh as she typed quickly on the keyboard and lay back next to him.

"Interstellar? Again?"

She shrugged indifferently, "You said you didn't care."

"We've seen it four times already."

"Two, this is the third."

He groaned again, moving uncomfortably in bed.

"Do you want to take another painkiller?"

"No." He blurted out, "I'm sorry. But I have back pain, I can't find the right position."

"Okay, come here."

She helped him sit up and rested his pillow against her side.

"Maybe you should be lying on your side without bruises."

He muttered something disjointed as he collapsed into the pillow above her. He tucked another pillow under his casted wrist and then finally hummed his approval.

They remained silent - that silence that didn't need words to be pleasant.

Jay let his hand slide down her thigh to gently squeeze her knee.

"I'm glad you came home."

She remained silent, the computer light faintly illuminating their faces as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Everything good in Atlanta?"

The weight of the letter hidden in the bottom of a drawer in the living room seemed to almost suffocate her and Hailey bit her lip to restrain herself.

This was not the time to talk to him about it. She hadn't decided yet and he was injured - it wasn't the right time.

"All good, but next time maybe don't make me come to Med as soon as I get off the plane."

Her voice was only a whisper while feeling, for the first time, the stress of the day making her waver.

Jay was warm against her - he was alive against her. Her hand on his chest followed the movement of his breath and his heart beat steadily under her palm.

"I'm sorry if I made you worry." He muttered.

"I guess it's part of the deal, isn't it?"

Jay raised his head slowly until he met her eyes. His green was dim, but it was still her favorite color.

"Which deal?"

"You and me." Hailey shrugged slightly with a tight smile on her lips.

She was sure that if she spoke again, she would cry. And she didn't want to.

"Hailey."

She closed her eyes and breathed shakily.

She wasn't going to lose control, she told herself.

"I didn't know what happened to you, it was scary."

She managed a sensible answer without falling apart. A tear slipped silently down her cheek and she wiped it away angrily.

She wouldn't lose control, she told herself.

"It's my job, it's who I am. You knew it from the beginning."

His hand along her thigh in a slow caress and she watched the movement in silence.

"I love who you are." She whispered after a few seconds, "But it's still scary."

"I'm sorry…"

"It's fine. I guess that's what happens when you love someone reckless."

"I'm not reckless." His voice was indignant as his fingers dug into her thigh and she let out a watery laugh, "I'm really sorry, Hails."

His voice was full of sleep and, in the dim light, he was fighting to stay awake.

Her fingers slid behind his neck, slowly massaging his contracted muscles.

"Get some sleep, okay?"

"But I don't want to."

"I know, but it's okay to sleep."

Her hands in his hair slowly lulled him to sleep and after a few minutes his breathing was deep and steady against her chest.

As much as she tried to fight him, everything about Jay made her feel at home. And the letter in their living room seemed to have more and more weight inside her.

Okay , so why is it so hard when your mind has so many ideas but you can't write them down? It's so...frustrating. Ugh.

Anyway, your affection is incredible. Who reads me, who reviews me - you are amazing.

Thanks to Beth for supporting me (to put up with me, actually. And yeah Beth, you're stuck with me here, so...).

And thanks to you - you know who you are.