Believe Again: Curiosity

He was probably bluffing when he said he knew your name. Since then, he had never called your name once. Not that he even said much to you, anyway. But then, you weren't inclined to complain, given how things were developing.

It was already 9:42pm on your phone. Lampposts lit the path ahead of you, albeit rather dimly. It had been a long day and you were rather relieved to be surrounded by silence once more as you headed home along the usual path. The park in front of you was largely empty by now, aside from a few teenagers sitting down in a circle at the playground with dented cans of soda lying on the sand in the middle of them.

You walked past them as they doubled over at an inside joke amongst themselves, and gradually the sound of your footsteps and occasional crunching of dead leaves beneath your shoes grew louder than their boisterous laughter. Just a while ago you had been with your friends too, chatting over dinner and a few drinks. You hadn't seen some of them in ages, and you were glad you had the chance to catch up with them.

Of course, your only regret was missing out on your daily meeting with Saeran here.

You weren't really sure if you should have told him prior to this that you wouldn't come today. You didn't see much of a reason to though, since it didn't seem that he cared very much. You were always the one initiating most of the interaction between the both of you, after all. Saeran just wasn't the proactive type. For the most part, he remained cold, vacant, disinterested towards you, aside from the occasional smile or smirk when you said something weird. Seeing him make those faces could make you feel like you were floating on a cloud.

Well, you couldn't deny that they were his endearing traits as well.

You let out a sigh, comforting yourself with the fact that you would be able to see him the next day, if anything else. It would be a Friday too, so you could look forward to the usual ice cream date with him.

The wind blew then, tousling your hair up in messy tendrils that fell against your cheeks. You had to stop in your tracks to smoothen your hair out and tuck the wild strands behind your ears. It was especially strong tonight. Almost as if it was beckoning you forward, where something was awaiting you.

Slowly, it died down, and you continued walking forward, though now feeling a little more nervous. You didn't know if you could trust your intuition — you didn't want to get your hopes up for nothing.

You were nearing the bench. His bench. You weren't expecting him to be there at all, since it was already this late. It wasn't as if you knew what time he went home exactly. You were always the one to leave first, but you often assumed he left not long after you.

Maybe you were wrong. Or perhaps he had waited for you, despite this not even being a promised arrangement between you two.

Because there he was, seated on the bench, bent forward with his fingers interlocked so tightly you could see from here that his knuckles were white. His head was lowered, facing his naval, and his forearms were resting on his widely separated legs.

Your feet came to a halt the moment you spotted him. Your breath caught and your heart rate started climbing into an impossibly frenzied dance in your chest. You thought your chest would burst at any moment.

Questions ran through your mind, but you dared not answer them yourself, lest you came to the wrong conclusions. All you knew was that he was there, unmoving, his hands and body locked in something akin to a praying stance. You wanted to see his face, but it was hanging low, facing his naval. You held back from calling out to him. His name was already on the tip of your tongue, but you silenced your voice for a while more. You wanted to observe him.

Just like you used to.

He was still, unmoving, just like a statue. But it seemed this time, what he was searching for couldn't be found in the black night sky that was currently dotted with modestly gleaming stars.

You weren't sure how long you stared at him like that, quietly, in the shadows, with only a dash of light on the tips of your shoes. You only realized that you hadn't moved a muscle, just like him, in the moment that his face snapped up towards yours.

You couldn't tell what it was that flashed in his eyes. You thought you saw a mix of shock, worry and fear clouding his mint eyes, before relief began flooding in. At least, that was what you would like to think, but you couldn't be certain because he only allowed his emotions to show for a measly four seconds, before he was on his feet and striding towards you in a strangely hurried pace.

By the time you came to your senses and decided to move, all you needed was to take one step forward into the yellow light beneath the lamppost and then the two of you were face to face, the tips of your shoes nearly touching.

The wind stirred again, this time to send the scent of his shampoo towards you. It tickled your nostrils, making you acutely aware of how close you were to him. His eyes bored into yours, his lips parting slightly with unspoken words that he wished to say, but did not permit himself to.

You felt something brush against your hand, and your eyes darted down to see his fingers withdrawing from your hand to fall at his side in a fist. "Sorry," he mumbled, before releasing a sigh that sounded with frustration and relief all at once.

That fleeting touch was enough to send jolts of electricity running through your skin, and generate tremendous heat in your cheeks that spread to your ears and neck. You lowered your head, hoping he wouldn't notice. This had been happening a lot more recently. The effect that he had on you was rather hard to explain, since you hadn't experienced this around any other man. There was certainly an attraction there, but you didn't think it was exactly romantic either. It was gray, unidentifiable.

Just like he was, in some ways. Saeran was special. You just weren't quite sure how special he was to you, as of now.

He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans then, and then you heard his voice, bass and tense, but laced with an emotion that you had never detected before.

"Where were you?"

Curiosity.

You had to do a double-take before you could give him an answer. "I was out."

"With whom?" he pressed.

"My friends..." You furrowed your brows slightly. He sounded rather upset, and you couldn't understand why. "Why are you asking?"

Your question seemed to stump him a little, for he could not provide you an answer immediately. He stared at you dumbly for a good couple of seconds before dropping his head and muttering, "No reason."

You noted that for someone with "no reason", he was uncharacteristically tense and upset when he first approached you to interrogate you about your whereabouts. "What are you doing here so late?" you asked then, dissatisfied with his vague reply.

You had a feeling you already knew, but it was an answer that he probably would never admit. Not at this stage, anyway.

"I just felt like staying out a little longer," he replied smoothly, "It's nice out here at night."

He was a good liar, but you found that you were better at uncovering his lies.

"It is," you agreed, deciding to drop it just for now. You were content with the knowledge that he cared somewhat about you, and about your daily meetings. It wasn't as one-sided as you thought after all.

"Don't you need to get home?" you inquired.

He shook his head and shrugged. "No."

"Then, how about we stay out here together for a while?"

He looked rather surprised that you would make such a suggestion, but did not raise any protest to it. He simply turned around and walked to the bench, taking his seat on it, to the right of the bench. And then you took your seat on your side of the bench. A smile graced your lips as you recalled how he used to sit right in the middle. No one could sit with him or approach him. This area was a world of his own, a world that belonged to him and him alone.

That is, until you came along.

It was a pleasant thought to have, one that made you feel like you were someone special to him.

It also gave you the courage to ask a question you had been meaning to ask for the longest time, one that you never dared allow to leave your lips in the past, in fear of overstepping the boundaries that he had built around him when you first noticed him.

"Why do you come here every day?"

Saeran returned his gaze to the night sky above, taking a few moments to consider your question. He pursed his lips together into a thin line, cocking his head slightly at an angle as he did so. At times like these, you wished you had a mind-reading ability. To you, he was a puzzle, one whose pieces you were slowly discovering one by one, as time went by.

"I wonder why..." he muttered, lowering his head. You noted the tinge of sadness and muffled pain in his voice. "I don't really know either."

"Don't you have friends or family?"

"I do," he said, "but I prefer being alone."

Well, there was no doubt about that. "I see..."

"What about you?" he inquired.

"What?"

"Why do you come here every day?"

He had probably been meaning to ask you that for a long time too.

A sheepish smile appeared on your face as the answer popped into your head right away. It was embarrassing, something you didn't really want to confess. Lying to him didn't sit right with you though. Maybe that was because it felt as if he could see right through you if you ever attempted to do that. But, at the same time, if you were to be completely honest with him, you might end up scaring him away.

Then again, he didn't seem like the type to get scared so easily.

So you drew in a deep breath and answered, "Because you're here."

You watched as his eyes widened to the size of a goldfish's. He was stunned for a good few seconds, and you couldn't help the weak, embarrassed chuckle that escaped you. What kind of impression had you just given him? Maybe he thought that you had a crush of some sort on him.

And you supposed that wouldn't be totally wrong.

"What's that supposed to mean..." he murmured at last, bringing his hands up to cup his nose and mouth, possibly to cover up the pinkish hue appearing on his cheeks. The tips of his ears were already turning pink too. You were also feeling nervous, if the butterflies in your stomach and hot face were any indication.

"I just want to know more about you," you stated, looking away. You hoped it wasn't showing in your voice.

"Why?"

"Because you're different."

His parted lips closed into a thin line, not voicing the retort on his tongue. Then he released a long exhale. Apparently your vague answer satisfied him, much to your surprise. "So," he began again, "that means the day I stop coming, you'll stop too?"

"I guess."

He made a dismissive grunt in response to that. With nothing else to say, the two of you then fell back into silence and sat there, content with gazing at the sky together just as you always did. It was a nice change of scenery, you supposed. You could hear the group of teenagers from before leaving, and soon it was just quietness around you two, with the whisper of the wind as your only other companion.

Vaguely, you pondered over what he had just mentioned. The day he stopped coming... You couldn't help but wonder whether the day would come when there was no tomorrow left for the both of you.

Well, you supposed it was probably more a question of 'when' and not 'if'.

How long would this strange relationship last? The fact that the two of you had been together for this long was already a miracle in and of itself. But it was a miracle that couldn't last, could it?

"It's getting late. You should go."

His voice jerked you out of your reverie. Your eyes came to rest on him as he rose to his feet. You followed suit, standing up as you checked your phone. It was 10.47pm already, even though it felt like you had spent a mere few minutes with him.

Time just seemed to go by in a blur when you were with him. Or maybe you were just greedy for more time spent together like this.

In any case, it was time to leave. You were worn out, as he probably was. So you bid him goodnight for the very first time.

He nodded curtly and with the ghost of a smile playing on his lips, bid you goodnight as well.

Then without another word you two parted ways, all the while your ears focused on the gradually diminishing sound of his quiet footsteps.

It wasn't until your tenth step that you heard him call your name. It was a soft, gentle voice carried by the wind that tickled your ears. Your breath hitched. You whirled around, only to find him standing with his head turned over his shoulder to look directly at you.

"See you tomorrow."

A promise, albeit a small, insignificant one. One that made you feel like your heart could burst at any moment.

Well, you supposed, no matter what kind of future awaited the both of you, you were perfectly content with simply savoring the moment. Just for now, you would treasure the time you had together, until the day came when you would both have to go separate ways for good.

Somehow, you managed to keep your cool, and you offered him a coy smile in return.

"See you," you replied through the night breeze.

A/N: I had to re-write this chapter three times omg I hope it was okay

You can look forward to some Saeran pov next chapter (: Till next update, and happy chinese new year everyone! ^^