"Here I am, sorry!"

She left him a quick kiss on the lips and brushed her hair from the rain.

"How was your day?"

"All good." She shrugged. She reached into the back seat to scratch Smokey who was wagging his tail to greet her, "What about you?"

Jay gave her a quick glance, not completely convinced by her voice - or by her gaze. Hailey couldn't be sure, but she knew Jay probably knew something was wrong with her from the very first moment in the truck.

"Slow day. But something may have happened between Kim and Adam because there was so much tension in the office today."

"What happened?"

He looked at her skeptically, "Why do you think I know?"

"You're her partner."

It seemed so obvious to her.

"Yeah and I save her life every day. But her personal is none of my business."

She grunted as she dug back into the seat, "You're so grumpy."

"I'm not - ah, whatever." Jay snorted before continuing, "She said she'll probably call you."

This took her by surprise and she straightened her back slightly, "Me? Why?"

"Eh." He shrugged, "You seem to be more emphatic about some things."

Hailey laughed placing her hand on his arm, "I can believe it, babe."

He gave her a cocky smile, it was just a flash but her day took on a different color.

They made the way to the front door running, the rain was not going to slow down and Smokey was absolutely thrilled by it.

It didn't take them long to discover that their dog had a boundless passion for puddles, and every time he had the opportunity he would roll in the water, forcing them to wash and dry him every time.

This year winter had arrived well in advance, leaving Chicago in a rain that, during the night, turned to ice.

And Smokey seemed to be waiting anxiously for the snow to arrive, as if he couldn't wait to race in the freezing cold of Chicago.

Hailey hung their coats behind the door as Jay ran to turn up the heat. The only thing she wanted to do was put on her pajamas and get under the covers. But they should have had dinner and take Smokey for a walk and the idea of the bed seemed to fade through her fingers.

She crawled slowly into the kitchen, putting hot soup on the fire and staring at the pouring rain.

In that moment, she just wanted to live alone, to be able to go straight in bed, staring in a vacuum for hours until falling asleep from exhaustion.

But now she couldn't do it anymore, not with Jay reading her mind better than anyone else.

"Hey."

His voice made her jump slightly and she blinked a few times trying to return to reality.

"Hailey, where are you going with that blonde head?"

She shrugged indifferently as she slipped out of his arms, ""I'm fine. Would you like some soup for dinner?"

Jay's gaze told her plainly that he hadn't bought her words, but he just looked at her with a knowing smile, "Whatever is hot."

"Yeah, it's freezing today." She made a tired laugh as she slipped back under his arm. She poked her nose into his neck absorbing the slight heat his body gave off from him and she let out a slow breath.

She slipped her hand down his arm to the brace on his wrist.

"How does it feel?"

"Starting to feel uncomfortable. But it's not my dominant hand, so..."

"…I can write and hold the gun. I know, I know." Hailey completed his words after hearing them repeated a thousand times.

Jay chuckled lightly and she closed her eyes at the feel of his laughter against her.

"I won't ask you again what happened, but if you want to talk about it…"

His hand was light along her back and she tightened the grip of her arms around his hips. She stood up on her toes to be able to rest her lips against the stubbles on his cheek.

"You need a shave."

"Yeah, I know." Jay lifted her up to the cabinet, "I'll do it tomorrow morning before work."

"Tomorrow is Sunday!"

"Overtime on patrol."

"Jay..." Hailey moaned resting her forehead against his shoulder, "We already talked about it."

"Just…it's just extra money, we can use some."

He gave her an apologetic smile and she sighed deeply, "We don't need your overtime. And it's Sunday."

Jay smiled slowly, "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

His lips drifted down her neck and she squirmed without really putting any effort into it. She rolled over slightly in his arms, stroking his neck softly.

"You want to finish cooking? I can take Smokey for a walk and come back."

"But it's cold." She whimpered after his lips had pulled away from her neck.

"Just a few minutes."

It was a simple promise and she really had no doubts that Jay would be back very quickly. The rain didn't seem to want to slow down and she guessed he had no real intention of walking under water for several blocks.

Hailey heard him call Smokey and close the door behind them and, unlike what she thought, the silence wasn't so calming.

She slowly set the table, her hands moving on their own in their usual movements while her mind was much further away from there.

Images of the soup simmering slowly over the fire alternated with those of her afternoon. She had spent hours in Med's psychiatry ward wondering what she hadn't noticed, how it had been possible to get this far.

She could still feel Daniel Charles' reassuring hand weigh on her shoulder, his words wanting to melt the ice that had enveloped her heart - in vain.

She heard Smokey scamper on the floor and turned around just in time to see him run towards her.

"Hi honey." She dropped to her knees brushing the rain off his fur, "You're all wet."

The dog leaned behind her trying to lick her face and, for the first time in all day, she let herself laugh heartily.

She dragged Smokey into the bathroom to dry him while Jay quickly changed in something more comfortable and she sighed in satisfaction feeling his kiss in the back of her neck.

It was still amazing how simple it was to live with him. As if everything they were going through together was something that was bound to happen forever.

She had known Jay for almost a year but sometimes she wondered if she hadn't known him all her life. He was her best friend and the love of her life - not that she would admit it soon, but the more the days passed the more she was convinced of it.

...

She came back to the living room hearing a slight noise and she found Jay bent over as he was dragging the coffee table up to the wall.

"What are you doing?"

He smiled slyly before typing something on his phone and placing it on the table.

Light music swept through the living room and Jay reached out to wait for her to grab his outstretched hand.

She intertwined their fingers slowly, still unsure of the meaning of what was going on.

He quickly pulled her against his body with and reached his arm behind her back.

"We're dancing, Hailey."

"Why?"

"Too many questions." He chuckled before slowly kissing her, "Close your eyes and follow me."

His eyes were clear in the half-light of the living room - they were quiet.

And she closed her eyes and rested her cheek against his chest.

They moved slowly. It wasn't really a dance, it was just holding each other. Feeling each other's heartbeat, each other's breath.

It was relaxing - and she ran her hand down his neck in a slow caress.

"I remember my mom and dad dancing like that in the living room after a bad day."

His voice was silk and Hailey breathed softly as she felt his heart rhythmically beat under her ear.

She knew what he was doing and she also knew that she would give in and finally be able to voice what had happened that afternoon.

The man in her arms saw the worst that existed in the world every day and, every day, he showed her that he had the best heart she had ever met.

Jay was a pearl in that grey world - he was pure and bright, although he never believed it.

"I had a patient who attempted suicide today." She said softly, tightening her grip lightly against his back, "And I…I didn't expect this."

Jay was silent and continued to move slowly along the living room while his hand ran the length of her back.

Hailey took his silence as a call for her to continue and, while having nothing really to say, she took a deep breath and pressed her lips against his throat.

"I thought everything was going fine, there were no bells that could make me believe that... But today Charles called and told me that my patient had been hospitalized because he had tried to cut his wrist."

She breathed shakily, clutching his sweatshirt in her fists, "He'll see a psychiatrist now."

"It's not your fault."

Again, his voice was silky. But this time, it did little to ease the guilt she felt.

"You can't save everyone."

She sighed, "But it's my job."

"No, Hails. Our job is to help people, not save them."

"And you follow that?"

He slightly pulled away from her to be able to see her eyes, "God, no. You saw me fighting my own guilt."

She smiled wearily leaning her cheek against his chest again and closed her eyes. They were silent for a few minutes, moving slowly in the dim light of the living room, until Jay grabbed her hand and pushed her away, spinning her in circles.

Hailey was taken aback and lost the grip on his arms landing on the couch. Jay looked at her with a lopsided smile for a second before she burst out laughing and dropped her head back.

Smokey, excited by the sudden movements, jumped on the couch trying to lick her face while Jay sat on the other side and slowly caressed his fur.

It was going to be a lousy night but she knew she should just sleep off her thoughts. Jay was right, it was her job and she couldn't be influenced by something she couldn't command.

She crept up to him leaning her head against his shoulder as he turned on the TV and they immediately fell into a comfortable, sleepy silence.

"So you saw Doctor Charles today?"

She nodded lazily pulling the blanket up to her chin and sinking a little against him.

"You could tell me your story."

"Mmm?"

Hailey groaned, slowly opening her eyes and slipping her hand under his sweatshirt to touch his warm skin.

She didn't think she would ever get used to the feeling of calm that surrounded him - nor his warm skin against her.

It was just something she couldn't do without. Their hands touching, their stolen kisses, his fingers through her hair - she could just as easily spend the rest of her life like this and she wouldn't complain.

"You and Charles. How'd you met?"

Jay rolled over slowly letting Smokey slide to the bottom of the couch and Hailey crawled between his legs leaning against his chest.

She lifted her head to be able to look at him and nodded slowly.

"It's not really a great story. He was my professor of psychiatry at the University when I was studying psychology." She shrugged, "I had the opportunity to do an internship with him. He helped me a lot."

She didn't really have much to say, and Jay seemed to get the full sense of her words. His gaze was calm and she opened her mouth before thinking about it.

"It's not like I've ever wanted to open the box of worms about my past. But Daniel helped me accept some things. Maybe a psychologist shouldn't have trauma or...I don't know."

"Your traumas make you who you are, though." He cut her off, then continued, "They make you empathic and helpful. You've learned how to manage them or how to try to, and that makes you a better person."

Hailey looked at him silently for a few seconds.

The man she had met almost a year earlier would never have been able to talk so easily about therapy. Jay was an incredible man, everything he had seen and lived in his life was something she wished she could protect him from forever. But he had learned to accept his past for what it was.

She let her fingers run softly over his lips.

"I'm proud of you, do you know that?"

Jay blushed and smiled shyly. He followed the movement of her hand along his lips with his head and left a quick kiss on her fingertips.

"So you've known each other for many years?"

"Yeah, you could say that." She nodded seriously, "I was 22 when we met."

Jay pinched her cheek laughing, "You were a baby girl!"

She snorted a light laugh, "I'm still younger than you."

"Three years, Hailey." Jay pointed out, "Looks like I'm old."

"Eeeeeh, I don't know."

Jay slapped her back and she burst into laughter.

"Well, you definitely didn't choose me because I'm rich."

She looked up at him as he smiled with his eyes closed.

"About it, why the overtime? We had already talked about it!"

"You know…"

He shrugged slightly then let his hands slide down her back as she pushed against his chest to get up.

"Jay. We don't need it. We can afford a good place, you know."

Hailey sat back and crossed her arms across her chest, "Tomorrow is Sunday."

'Sunday is our day' she would have liked to add, but she knew she didn't need it.

"I just want the perfect place for us. And if the price is higher, I want to be able to afford it."

She smiled slowly crawling again over him.

"I get it. But I would have preferred you to have stayed at home with me."

"You can always wait for me here without pants. You know, under the blanket, a movie, some popcorn..."

Hailey laughed letting a hand slip through the short hair at the back of his neck and reached out to kiss him.

"Sounds like a good plan to me."

Jay smiled against her lips as he let his hands slide under her hoodie in a light caress and she shivered under his touch.

It had been a lousy day but maybe - just maybe - she was learning how to handle things with him. She no longer needed to fight alone all the time. It was what she had tried to teach him for a long time and, for the first time, she realized that she could do the same.

Jay was someone she could trust and rely on in so many aspects of her life that it scared her, but he hadn't let her down yet and, probably, he would never have done so.

...

Hailey rolled in the blankets looking for Smokey asleep at the end of the bed but when she didn't feel his weight she slowly opened her eyes.

She saw the bathroom light on and smiled at the thought that Jay was finally home. A half-day patrol shift had turned into a midnight homecoming and she sighed hoping he'd learned the lesson. They didn't need that money, but he insisted on 'getting the best home for us'. He still hadn't understood that home was something that went beyond walls and furniture.

She narrowed her eyes seeing Jay's figure against the bathroom light and she saw him crawl slowly towards the closet.

"Hey, officer."

Hailey mumbled turning and following his shadow and saw him smile in the dark.

"I didn't want to wake you up."

She smiled in the dark, expecting to see him undress and crawl into bed. But he just slowly stretched his muscles.

"How was your day?"

"Ugh." Jay groaned leaning against the closet and running his hands over his eyes, "A long and hellish shift. Being a Detective on patrol carries a whole series of responsibilities that..."

"So that's enough overtime from now, right?" She asked hopefully as kneeling over his bedside.

He shook his head and slowly approached her, "Yeah, I think so."

"Well, I got my boyfriend back."

"So funny." Jay walked over to her laughing and then letting his hands run through her hair, "Funny but beautiful. I can bear it."

"I bet it, agent."

"It's Detective." He pointed to the star now tied to his belt and lifted his chin and she laughed at his antics. Hailey removed his badge and threw it at the end of the bed.

Passing her hands around his hips, she noticed that there was no trace of his gun and probably he had already locked it in the safe.

"Excuse me, Detective." She nudged him lightly before she slowly unbuttoned his shirt, "I suddenly realized why I chose to be with you."

"Do I want to know?"

She smiled licking her lip, "The uniform."

"The uniform?"

"Yup. I might have a thing for your uniform. "

"Oh, the uniform." Jay nodded seriously, intertwining his hands in her hair again, "I guess you now agree with my overtime."

Hailey smiled as she reached for his neck to pull his face towards her and slowly kiss him before stepping down to unbuckle his belt.

Jay smiled against her lips as he cupped her face and pushed it harder against him. He went down her neck, moving her hair over the other shoulder while Hailey, with her eyes closed, tried to free him from his belt.

"If I get this when I'm wearing my uniform, I could wear it every day before I go home."

He was amused and she refrained from rolling her eyes. She was just too busy pulling his shirt out of his pants and slowly sliding it down his arms as he slid down her neck with his lips.

"Shut up, Detective."

And when she pulled him on the bed against her, Jay finally had nothing more to say.

He fell on top of her and tied one of her leg behind his back, slowly stroking her thigh.

"No pants?"

"I think I remember it was what you wanted."

"That's what I like about you, your memory."

She laughed, slapping softly his shoulder before wrapping her arms around his neck and closing her eyes in his kiss.

...

"Where are you going?"

Jay reached into the void as she slipped out of the blankets and pulled on her socks and staggered to the closet.

"Blanket. Too cold."

She sank into bed after spreading the new blanket over them and stuck her head up his neck.

Jay shivered slightly as he felt the cold tip of her nose pressed against his skin and Hailey giggled slightly.

"It'll snow tomorrow."

"What?"

"It smelled like snow today."

Jay laughed and moved slightly to cover their heads with the blankets. He slipped his arm behind her back and dipped his face into her hair.

"I didn't know you could even predict the future."

"It's not…I'm just saying that you could smell snow in the air today. Tomorrow it'll snow."

"Okay, it'll snow. This will make my job more difficult though."

"I'm sorry, officer." She teased him.

"It's Detective."

They laughed softly in the dark.

The clock said nearly three in the morning and they both had to work the next day, but for some reason they were awake, cold and giggling together.

Smokey, lying at the end of the bed, snorted and stretched in his sleep until he took up most of Hailey's side.

Moving towards Jay, her fingers slowly caressed his neck until they brushed the scar at the base of his throat and he stiffened slightly.

Jay inhaled hard as his hands clenched against her back pushing her body towards his. Hailey ran a hand through his hair, light as a feather, letting him breathe against her neck.

"I promised you I'd tell you about my scar, sooner or later."

"You said it. But you don't have to."

He shrugged slightly, "It's not a great story, actually. It goes back to when I was in the Rangers."

Jay told her how the helicopter he was traveling in with his unit was attacked and how he woke up, weeks later in an unknown hospital, with doctors speaking an unknown language while he could not help but lay still because his body was too injured to do anything.

Hailey could feel his heart beating hard against her hand and she breathed softly as her other hand stroked his hair.

"Mouse and I were the only survivors. When I got home I wasn't…it wasn't a good time."

"It must have been tough."

"It was what it was." He said casually, "Then I joined the police and the rest is history."

By now there was a tacit agreement between them, he would only speak when he felt like it and she would never push him - no more than she ever did.

Things had worked like this between them from the start and it seemed that balance helped both of them.

His tone was protected, he didn't want anyone to feel pity for him. If only he had known that pity was the furthest thing from what Hailey really felt about him.

"After the patrol, did you enter Intelligence immediately?"

"Nope. I worked a few years in Organized Crime."

"Sorry, my mind is fixed on your years on patrol. You know, the uniform…"

"So dumb." Jay laughed pulling her harder against him.

Hailey sank against his body absorbing some of his warmth as he pulled the blankets higher over their heads.

She closed her eyes against his neck and slipped into a light sleep.

"I love you so much." She whispered with her lips pressed against his throat.

Jay slowly stroked her hair breathing steadily under her.

"I love you too."

Here I am with a new chapter! Life got in the way and now I will be able to update about once a week, but I promise I'll do :)

Thank to Beth, as always - my guardian angel.