Believe Again: I Promise

"You don't look so good. What's up? Finally ran out of those nasty chips you're always eating?"

"Don't ask..." Saeyoung muttered as he typed away, keys clacking on the keyboard with speed that he hadn't had to muster in a while. He was rusty; more than he'd like to admit.

"Then what's bothering you? It's been a while since I saw this expression on your face. You know... it actually feels quite nostalgic seeing you moping about like this again. Brings back memories when we were still stuck with the agency," Vanderwood scoffed.

Saeyoung's fingers didn't stop moving even as he glanced up briefly to offer a wry smile and throw a wink to the webcam. "Yeah, Miss Vanderwood, you have no idea how much I miss the times when we lived toge—"

He rolled his eyes and interjected, "Yeah, right."

"—ther. I still remember all those nights we spent together alone in bed—"

"Okay, okay! I get it.I'll stop asking, sheesh. You don't have to make me gag just to get me to shut up."

"Aw, but Miss Vanderwood, I'm just telling the truth," Saeyoung chuckled half-heartedly, the half-smile threatening to slip from his face at any moment. Man... how long had it been since he'd needed to force a smile like this? Not to mention, locking himself up in the room for hours with a large stash of Honey Buddha Chips and Phd. Pepper and getting nagged at by Vanderwood... He didn't know if he liked the nostalgic sentiments or not.

He laid back for a moment to watch the bar on the mini-window sitting by the side of his computer screen turn full then. "Download complete," the window now read, and in a flash he was back to business.

"It's done."

Paying no mind to the older man's audible gasp and following sigh of relief, the former secret agent quickly got to work sending the files to the other.

"It's been a while but you still manage to hack into the police database in under an hour," Vanderwood remarked in disbelief, as he got to work accessing the encrypted files. "I guess some monsters just stay— What the— Why the hell are there so many files for a cult that lasted just slightly less than two years?"

"I think we underestimated Rika," Saeyoung replied grimly, already getting down to business trying to decrypt the files. And Saeran, he added in his mind as an afterthought. The mess of letters littering the files that they needed to look at was enough to give him an imminent headache. He had never been fond of decryption. If he had more time, he may enjoy the process more, but ninety-nine percent of the time, there was no such thing. Time was a luxury no secret agent could afford.

This time was no exception.

"And the files are tightly encrypted too... Your brother's a monster just like you, isn't he?" Vanderwood questioned with an arched brow. Saeyoung couldn't tell if the older man was impressed or vexed. Probably both, just like he was. "How long will you take to decrypt these?"

"If I can't get Saeran, then... a week, if I'm lucky. I'll have to work overnight too," the redhead answered with a tired sigh. He leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms over his head, muttering, "This brings me back... and I don't like it." He screwed his eyes shut, mind wandering back for what seemed like the thousandth time to his brother once more. His left shoulder still hurt from where he got slammed against the wall last night, but that couldn't compare to the aching in his chest when he recalled his brother's tear-streaked face.

It was all his fault. He had made Saeran cry again, betrayed his trust again... The bitter thought made his chest clench. Saeran was right. The truth had hurt when he blurted it out like that, but he was right. Saeyoung didn't trust his own brother enough.

And he supposed that made him no better from V after all.

"Just get your brother to help," Vanderwood stated, his voice pulling him back to reality. "It'll be a lot faster that way, and we don't have that much time... The next RFA party is in a month, right?"

"I would, but right now he's mad at me. I'm not sure how much he'd be willing to work together." As he said this, Saeyoung visibly deflated in his chair like a balloon, misery sinking deeper onto his features once more.

"Ugh, seriously?" Vanderwood merely groaned and raked his fingers through his hair to muss it up impatiently. "We don't have time for this. Just apologise to him and make up. Bribe him with something that he likes or something. We need him to get to work. There're too many details we need to iron out, and who knows what the Mint Eye remnants are planning right this moment?"

"Yeah yeah, I'll... figure something out..." Saeyoung deadpanned with a dismissive wave of his hand. He certainly didn't miss the older man's nagging. Well, at least there wasn't a taser pressed to his neck this time. "How are things on your end? Have you checked out the old Mint Eye headquarters?"

"I did. I couldn't go in because the place is still cordoned off. There were some soldiers stationed there too, so I couldn't go in. The only thing I could catch was a picture of a pretty fancy car parked outside. It stuck out like a sore thumb in the woods... Wonder what it was doing there."

"Send it over."

"Already did. Check your email."

True enough, the email was already there, and Saeyoung clicked on the photo attached. A low whistle escaped him when he saw the sleek black beauty — a W213 Mercedes-Benz E-Class. Good taste, if he could say so himself, though he was still more of a sports car kind of guy.

"Quit checking out the car and find out who's the registered owner of that car, you idiot."

"I'm on it, ma'am."

"Stop calling me that."

Saeyoung flashed him a cheeky grin as he set about trawling through the archives in the vehicle license registration system. It was a good thing he had already hacked into it earlier so he could save time.

"Let's see..." he murmured. "The car belongs to a person called... Park Ha Yoon..."

"Hmm? Park Ha Yoon?" Vanderwood echoed with a small frown, apparently trying to remember where he'd heard that name before. "Sounds familiar..."

There was a few seconds of silence save for a quick tapping on the keyboard, before Saeyoung's eyes narrowed on the pictures on his screen. They were of a smiling couple clad in pristine white coats at a press conference, with various shining awards in their hands.

"Hey Vanderwood?" the redhead called nervously, as he ran his fingers through his messy red locks. "I think we really did underestimate Mint Eye after all."

Saeran hated the ache in his chest. He had just sent her home and seeing her disappear behind her dull grey front door had left his heart clenching uncomfortably in his chest.

He surmised that goodbyes were something he would never come to find pleasant.

Raising his hands, his eyes lingered on the bandages covering his knuckles. She had insisted on bandaging his hands before leaving him. He would have protested, but when she took his wounded, bloodied hands in her warm, soft and smaller ones, the words and protests instantly died in his throat. There was something magical about her touch. Or maybe his brain had just made a habit of shutting down around her.

She had been gentle as she treated his wounds, taking care not to hurt him, and she would apologise profusely whenever he visibly winced and flinched from the pain. He would crack a smile when that happened because he could see the worry flash in her eyes, and as selfish as it sounded, he had rather liked that she worried about him— cared about him, even though he had pushed her away, made her cry, and was still making her wait for him.

He really didn't deserve her.

As she treated him, he would look away and secretly steal frequent sideways glances at her, and he had found that her eyes would linger on the other old scars and bruises on his arms. Those were a range of old burns from the tips of smouldering cigarette butts, rope marks that had torn deep into his skin till he bled, and other injuries he had sustained both from when he was a child and when he was working in that terrible place.

In particular, she had seemed curious about the bandages covering his right arm, but she hadn't asked him about them like he thought she would. Perhaps she could tell that he wouldn't give her an answer even if she did ask.

So instead of a question, she had a request for him.

"Saeran..." The sound of his name rolling off her tongue made goose bumps crawl up the back of his neck. He had nervously met her eyes, unsure of what to expect. Maybe she never wanted to see him again. She might have decided that he was too scary, too self-destructive, too broken to be worthy of her.

"Please take better care of yourself," she had said, breaking his train of thought, as her unwavering eyes locked with his. "No matter what you think of yourself, you're precious to the people around you — much more than you think. So cherish yourself more, okay?"

He really needed to stop going back and forth with this. She had shown him countless times that she wasn't just someone with sweet, deceiving lips. She genuinely cared about him, and he just had to trust that she did.

He clenched his fist, feeling the bandages tighten around his still stinging knuckles.

Trust, huh.

It was close to midnight now. As Saeran approached the gate to the bunker, he quickly put his sweater back on. He heard the voice recognition system boot up as it usually did. It seemed Saeyoung had made yet another change to it while he was gone. This time, instead of the usual math problem he would have to solve, facial recognition did the trick to open the gate. There was only a message for him:

"Saeran-ah, hyung is so sorry. Come in quickly; l promise I'll tell you everything tonight."

The brief message ended and the gate opened, allowing him to enter. The young redhead only picked up his feet to go inside after a few seconds.

As he removed his shoes, he heard the sound of house slippers shuffling across the floor. He didn't need to look up to know who it was.

"MC."

"You're back. Thank goodness, we were so worried, and— your hands." Her eyes widened and she rushed over to take his wrists to get a better look. He shrugged her hands off, avoiding her concerned gaze. "What happened? Did you get hurt?"

"It's just a couple of scratches."

"Who bandaged you up?"

"Where's Saeyoung?"

"In his work room... You're... going to talk to him?"

"Yeah."

MC followed him as he headed down the hall. "Does this mean that you're not mad at him anymore?"

"I am," he replied through gritted teeth. "But that's not important right now."

Placing a hand on the door handle, he pushed it down and entered the room. He was greeted by the smell of Honey Buddha chips and Phd. Pepper, accompanied with the sound of endless typing on a keyboard. Three computers were running, the light from the screens glaring even though the room was well-lit. MC clicked her tongue disapprovingly, and Saeran followed her eyes to the empty Honey Buddha Chips packets littering the floor around his desk.

What caught Saeran's eye next was the monitor on the wall. It seemed to be displaying a satellite image of a tall castle-like building with a large, dome-shaped roof in the colour of mint green.

It... couldn't be.

Saeran blinked twice, but the image didn't change. His eyes weren't just playing tricks on him.

The Mint Eye headquarters.

A wave of nausea hit him as the accursed building came into view, and he felt his throat begin to constrict uncomfortably. Unpleasant memories flooded his mind, and he became especially mindful of his right arm once more. If Mint Eye was back... He shuddered at the thought. It couldn't be; that woman had been shipped off to Alaska — for good. The cult had crumbled into dust; without aSaviour, there was nothing left for the followers. Not to mention, all of Mint Eye's files and data were no longer accessible. It would be impossible for anyone to act on the plans that that woman had at the time.

Mint Eye should have ended a year and a half ago. So why was it back now?

The encounter with Sejun surfaced in his mind once more, and Saeran didn't know if he was prepared for what Saeyoung would be telling him later.

"Don't worry, we'll talk about everything tonight," MC stated with a tight smile, pulling him back to reality.

He nodded curtly, eyes resting on his brother's hunched back. Saeyoung was always so busy because of him. The thought made some of the anger from earlier gradually dissolve into something more akin to guilt.

"MC, you should go to sleep first. I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight," the older man muttered, having sensed the presence of another person in the room now. He removed his headphones and turning around to show off his "cute" pout to the only person he thought was in the room. "I think I need a wittle kiss to recharge—"

MC only offered a wry smile when Saeyoung's eyes darted from her to Saeran. He froze up, eyes widening and lips parting to form an 'o'. Saeran looked away, irritation building up inside him once more beneath his brother's unnerving stare.

"S-Saeran, you're back," Saeyoung stammered, quickly getting off his chair. In his haste, he tripped over one of its legs and stumbled, but with a mighty shriek and some quick reflexes, he managed to regain his balance.

When he looked back up again, Saeran noted the redness in Saeyoung's eyes. Whether they were from tiredness or from crying earlier, he didn't know. But he could tell that the moisture building in the other man's eyes right then was not a mere trick of the lighting.

He really was an idiot.

"Are you... still mad at me?" Saeyoung asked quietly. "I didn't think you'd want to talk to me tonight."

"I am." Saeran watched as Saeyoung visibly flinched at his words. Saeyoung could only grit his teeth and force a smile to pretend that he didn't just get stabbed by the knife-like words.

"I-I see..."

He was always pretending.

"You promised you would tell me everything tonight."

The older twin ran his hand through his messy hair, releasing a long, weary exhale. "Yeah... I did. There's a lot to talk about."

"Don't leave anything out this time."

"I won't."

Saeran's mind was whirling from all the information that had just been dumped on him.

"Give me a while to think," was all he had said to MC and Saeyoung before exiting the room and heading back to his. He needed to collect his thoughts alone.

A year and a half... Quite some time had passed, and yet the memories, the scars and the horrors from back then all seemed so fresh. Saeran wanted to punch himself. Or another tree. Just how naïve could he get, to believe that Mint Eye would become a thing of the past for good, just like that?

He had been the one handling all the information and doing all the networking to spread that woman's ideologies as far as he could in the shortest amount of time. Reaching out the ones who were most vulnerable — prostitutes, runaways, the homeless... They were all people who had been cast aside by the people they loved, people who had nothing left to hope for, people who had gone through tremendous pain and suffering.

He had thought that with Rika gone, the followers that had been born far beyond the walls of the building itself would also disappear. But he of all people should have known that people only become viciously desperate when their only hope is stolen, wrenched clean from their hands.

For all that he had been through, he was still nothing more than a stupid, naïve boy. The foolish, weaker twin. The twin that wouldn't have lasted a day without his brother there to protect him.

Saeran wanted to stay mad at Saeyoung for not telling him these things earlier. He was still mad, but right then, he didn't have the energy to focus on that. He recalled Saeyoung's back view as he worked, and the tiredness weighing his entire body down. Saeyoung could be a big idiot at times, but he had been working his whole life to protect his younger brother. Even now, Saeyoung was buried in work because of him. Keeping an eye out for any Mint-Eye related activities online, working with Vanderwood to track down the whereabouts of missing Mint Eye members like Sejun, trying to figure out the possible connection between Park Ha Yoon, a famed scientist in the development of medical drugs, and Mint Eye itself...

"Dr. Park's research is government-funded," Saeyoung had explained earlier, "so it's possible that the... Prime Minister might be related to this, but we're not sure yet. It's also possible that he isn't, but for now we should just lay low."

Saeran could feel a headache coming on as he lay on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. It was all starting to make sense though. He had never questioned Rika before back in Mint Eye. But, thinking about it now, all the obvious questions that he ignored in the past were beginning to bubble to the surface. How had she gotten that much money to fund Mint Eye? Charity funds wouldn't have been enough for that — there would have been a limit to the amount of money she could misappropriate without the RFA members getting suspicious.

Furthermore, Rika couldn't have gotten all those drugs that were used to make the elixir on her own. But if there was a connection between Park Ha Yoon and Mint Eye, then it would have been very easy for her to get those drugs in large quantities.

If Saeran recalled correctly, Sejun used to be part of the group that would get the drugs. From what he knew, they would get the supplies from prostitutes around Minari. The prostitutes themselves wouldn't have been able to get their hands on the drugs alone — they may have obtained the goods from their customers. And it wouldn't be that far-fetched at all for their customers to be related to Dr. Park, or the government, at that.

There were just too many connections to be made, and it seemed like they had been unknowingly caught within a giant web of lies and horrors that had yet to be discovered.

And Rika was right at the centre of it all.

Knock knock.

The sound of his room door opening broke Saeran's train of thought and his head snapped towards his brother who was standing in the doorway, holding a tub of ice cream and a spoon in one hand, and a new pack of Honey Buddha Chips in the other.

"Thought you might want something to ease your mind from all that information overload," Saeyoung said with a smile. Saeran would have told him to leave by force of habit, but he relented on account of the comfort food he had brought with him.

Saeran accepted the tub and spoon from Saeyoung and immediately opened it to start poking at the frozen dessert. Thankfully, Saeyoung had heated up the spoon so it wasn't too difficult to scoop up the ice cream. In the meantime, Saeyoung took a spot by Saeran's desk, tearing his packet of chips open.

"Are you still mad at me for not telling you?" Saeyoung asked before he could pop the first chip into his mouth.

"You keep asking me that," Saeran muttered, eating a spoonful of his chocolate brownie-flavoured ice cream.

"Right, sorry..."

"There're so many other things to worry about now; I can't even focus on staying that mad at you."

"That's true." A sigh. "Things are a huge mess right now. And we're caught right in the middle of it. What luck, right?" A bitter, humourless laugh. "All we ever wanted was a normal life, to live freely together."

"And yet, here we are," Saeran finished with a shake of the head.

"But it'll get better. I promise we'll get out of this, somehow."

He was always so positive. So bright. So full of hope. "You always say that," Saeran scoffed. "You make these promises even though you can't control the future."

Saeyoung smiled wryly at that. "You're right. I make these promises because that's all I have to offer. There's nothing else I can do but cling to the hope that things will get better eventually. Promises make hope seem surer, make you stronger because you have to fulfil them, no matter what. And because I'm not strong enough," he added in a softer voice, "I have to keep making these promises to you, to MC, and to myself."

"You're not weak." The fierceness of Saeran's tone caused his head to snap up to meet the younger twin's glare. "You're... anything but weak. Ever since we were kids, I was the weak twin; the one who had to rely on you. You were strong. So strong. If you wanted to do something you would go and do it. I was too scared to do a lot of things, but you were fearless. You would take my hand and tell me that everything would be okay." Saeran didn't know why he was saying all these things, but it was like his mouth had taken on a life of its own, and he couldn't stop.

"All my life I couldn't do anything right. That's why I was mad at you when you didn't tell me. Because it hurt knowing that you thought I was too weak or useless to help, even though you were the one person who told me as I grew up that I wasn't. But maybe that was a white lie too. Even now, I'm only a burden to you and MC. Maybe it's better if you just left me and—"

Smack.

Saeran blinked twice, eyes slowly moving to meet his brother's. The anger burned in his golden irises, and Saeran wanted to shrink away, to hide, because Saeyoung could be a lot of things — worried, hurt, upset... But he was never angry.

He couldn't move though. Not with Saeyoung's hands on his cheeks, squeezing them so he would stop talking and forcing him to look him straight in the eyes. His hands were trembling slightly, and Saeran realised that Saeyoung's shoulders were shaking too.

"Don't... ever say that again."

A tear droplet fell on his cheek.

Ah.

He had made his brother cry again.

"You have no idea how many times I wanted to give up on living," Saeyoung bit out, voice threatening to break at any time. He sounded so fragile, like he would shatter into a million fragments if Saeran were to budge even a little. "You don't know how helpless and weak I've felt my whole life, because I couldn't protect you or be by your side. When we were beaten and punished, you were always hurt more, and I couldn't do anything. I was a useless hyung. And when I came back from missions seriously injured, or stuck in the work room for five days straight with no sleep, do you know what kept me going? What made me willing to get through every day? It was you. Your existence, the photo of your smile... You gave me strength to keep going; to keep living.

"You're not weak. You lived through years of malnutrition and being drugged regularly while working yourself to the bone. You lived through being alone in that house with our mother, without knowing what had happened to me, or how long more you would have to suffer her abuse. I wouldn't have been able to hold out alone if I were in your position... And the reason I didn't tell you about all that's been happening recently isn't because I thought you were weak or unreliable. I would have told you anyway, honest. But for the first time... you looked like you had a shot at finding happiness like I did with MC. I... I didn't want to ruin that for you. I've ruined enough of your life — I wanted you to have at least that."

How long had it been since they last talked like this? This reminded Saeran of when he had just been brought to the bunker after the whole episode with Mint Eye — he had been far less calm and too agitated to listen, of course, but there had been moments, just one or two, when they had spoken like this. Raw, vulnerable, hearts laid bare to reveal the mess of scars and insecurities that the two had buried within them for years.

Saeran felt his eyes begin to brim with moisture at Saeyoung's words, and before long, tears were running down his cheeks.

"We're both idiots," he muttered as Saeyoung released his face and pulled him in for a hug. He clutched onto the hem of Saeyoung's jacket in return.

"Yeah. We are," Saeyoung chuckled through his sniffling. "We're twins."

A few seconds of silence passed before Saeran spoke again. "You... You made a promise just now, didn't you?"

"I did?"

"That we'll get out of this mess somehow."

"Oh right. I did."

The younger twin nodded. "I'll... do the same. After this, we won't have to hear the name Mint Eye ever again. I promise."

Saeyoung pulled away, wiping his tears on the sleeve of his hoodie and smiling as he held his hand out to Saeran. "Let's work hard to fulfil our promises then."

Saeran dried his cheeks and eyes on the sleeve of his sweater, before smiling and taking his brother's warm hand. He squeezed it tightly.

"Looks like we won't be getting much sleep tonight then."

A/N: I will! edit this in this morning! because it's 3am! and I can! barely! keep! my! eyes! open! anymore!

Okay so here are some quick updates:

1) Summer break is here and I will try my best to finish this story before the next semester starts.

2) I will probably go on an indefinite hiatus from fan fiction after this summer. Not gonna lie, I'm not as passionate about Mystic Messenger as I was before, and I would like to work on writing original stories instead of fan fiction, since I don't have time for both anymore.

Therefore, I will do my best to finish Believe Again before the new academic year starts.

Thanks for reading all the way till here, and for coming back to read even though you probably forgot about everything that has happened so far given the long break between update haha. :) Took a long time to update because I had to settle a lot of plot-related things. Thanks for reading and I appreciate you guys coming back to read this ancient fic haha.

I'll see you soon!