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Please check out "Ideas for Chapters" (Chapter 35) for new one shot ideas! Thank you! ;)

ANSWERS TO REVIEWS:

Daughterofapollo12345: haha well I used to watch it when I was really young but I remembered that particular quote and I was hit so hard with the FEELS T_T

Enjoy!

Fullmetal Ninja

"Sexy no Jutsu!" a sudden puff of smoke covered the teenage blond who claimed to be a ninja and a few seconds later, Ed's jaw dropped.

A nearly nude, sexy blonde girl with blue eyes and a soft smile stood now in the ninja's place, her nude, curvaceous figure barely covered by what appeared to be Winry's trademark cream colored overalls and tube top, generous breasts nearly spilling out of the top.

"W-W-W-W-W-Win-Win-WINRY?!" the only thing preventing him from jumping on the lookalike Winry was his brother, who just barely managed to hold his brother at bay.

"Brother! That's not Winry! Stop! You'll get killed!" Alphonse helplessly tried to hold his brother back with all his strength, knowing the mechanic would be back any minute now from her walk around the village with the pink kunoichi.

"B-b-b-but, b-but, but Al! That's Winry! That's not something alchemy can do!" Ed felt himself drooling, his face flushed and his tongue nearly hanging out of his mouth like a dog.

"Why can't Winry wear her clothes like this...?" Ed muttered under his breath, dreamy gaze in place as he kept entertaining not so innocent thoughts of his mechani-

"YOU PERVERTED IDIOT!" his life flashed before his eyes when white hot pain shot through his whole body as the very familiar feeling of a wrench slammed into his head, knocking him clean off his feet and sending him flying toward a tree, the poor tree stood no chance, a Ed-like crater left in it's bark as the blond alchemist painfully slid down its trunk, bleeding from his nose, face flushed and the same dreamy expression on his face.

"NARUTO!" the only thing left of the poor blond ninja was a Naruto-shaped smoke cloud in his wake and a spinning star shooting off into the air, landing minutes on the ground next to the enraged pink haired monst-kunoichi in a bloody, half dead heap of flesh.

"Ah, Sakura I think it's-" Kakashi was about to interrupt and attempt to diffuse the situation until suddenly Winry rounded on him, weapon in hand and waving it threateningly in front of the stunned man.

"Oi...weren't you the one that attempted to peek from under my skirt?" Winry's glare was capable of reducing even the famed womanizer into a nervous mess, Kakashi held his hands up in a placating manner, thankful that the woman may not actually hit him...right?

"Um..W-Winry..." Alphonse meekly tried to calm the enraged woman down, "You know how brother can get..."

The blonde huffed, crossing her arms, "I don't care!" she growled furiously, "He's acting like a stupid pervert Al!"

Alphonse sighed, "Well...it may not excuse his actions, but Naruto transformed into you when he...did that so he was only thinking about you," he hoped at least that small piece of information would calm the furious mechanic.

To his surprise, it actually did.

"M-Me? But I..." she trailed off, suddenly feeling flustered as she turned around to hide her red face, watching as Sakura was brutalizing Naruto in the distance, "W-well..." she looked off to the side, fighting down the urge to feel the slightest tinge of satisfaction at the small bit of information. He still deserved getting his ass kicked.

"Ahh! Such youthful, energetic ladies, right Kakashi?" Might Guy rested his arm on Kakashi, observing Naruto's almost murder and Edward's dying state, "Fine men with even finer ladies!" he flashed his teeth with a smile and a wink, sparkles lining his bushy eyebrows and teeth.

Kakashi sighed heavily, shoulders slumped, "Maybe we should intervene before Sakura kills him..." digging into his pocket, Kakashi pulled out a familiar book, reading silently and ignoring Naruto's cries for help.

Guy rose an eyebrow, "Um, forgive me for asking my friend but how will reading help your student?" he looked back at the bleeding blond, suffering Sakura's unrelenting punches.

Kakashi shrugged, "Everything I find out now I may pass onto him later so he knows how to behave around women,"

Guy's eyebrow shot up to his hairline, leaning over to look at the smutty book, "Um...but isn't Icha-Icha series a very...inappropriate book?"

Kakashi again shrugged, "I never said it was useful advice,"

"Idiot!" Sakura kicked the half dead lump for good measure, turning around to regard the stunned trio looking at her, Ed keeping a safe distance from Winry as he hid behind Al.

Sakura laughed nervously, slinging an arm around Winry's shoulders with a large smile, "Ahh, sorry you had to see this! I'm normally not like that at all you know! Naruto is just being Naruto!" she laughed, "Hey, you want to go to Ichiraku's for some ramen?"

Winry smiled, "Oh ramen huh? Hmm, I never actually had that before from where I come from," according to Sakura, ramen was very similar to that noodle soup Ling loved to eat, a specialty in Xing he used to say.

"That's great! Then you'll get to eat it now! Come on!" she grinned and Winry smiled back, the two laughing girls heading off to the famous ramen shop.

Ed slowly limped his way over to the blond corpse on the ground, "Hey, uh...Naruto? You still alive?" Ed leaned over the ninja, judging by the pool of blood, eh may as well not be.

"Brother...I think she killed him," Alphonse sweated nervously, looking behind him at the two Jonin, who conversed quietly without a care in the world, "Does it happen that often?"

"Hm...well, Winry's nowhere near violent like that Sakura..." Ed trailed off, seeing the thought-to-be corpse twitching.

When Ed turned Naruto around so the obnoxious troublemaker laid on his back, the ninja had tears streaming down his face dramatically.

Ed commented dryly, "Well, you have 'one sided love' written all over your face," Naruto growled, shooting up to his feet.

"Oh? Say that again to my shadow clones!" doing the hand sign, a hundred puffs of smoke appeared around Alphonse and Ed and with them, Naruto copies.

Al tried to diffuse the situation, "I don't think that's a good idea-"

"TASTE MY ALCHEMY BI-!" Edward was about to clap his hands until something akin to a boulder crashed onto his head, he heard several yelps of pain, the earth beneath his body shaking violently and the sound of Naruto's body landing next to his.

Slowly, gingerly lifting his head up, Edward saw a sight worse than demon Winry with a wrench.

It was the old ha-

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING OLD HAG BOY?!" Tsunade seemed to think one earth shattering punch wasn't quite enough for the newcomer, for she promptly punched him again.

Poor Alphonse was clinging to a amused Kakashi and a energetic looking Guy, "Ahh, what a youthful woman despite her-"

Kakashi quickly covered the latter's mouth before the demon woman heard him, "Don't even think about it," he whispered to him quietly, watching how the chakra around Tsunade flared like a hurricane.

He didn't even know if the two boys were alive.

"...H-hey...N-Naruto?" silence.

"N-Naruto?" alarm bells rang off in Ed's head, before a gravely quiet voice spoke shakily soon after.

"...Mom?"

Ed coughed, "N-no...it's Ed..." shakily, he turned his head to look at the half beaten blond, "...a-are you alive?"

Naruto groaned in pain, "...I...think I'm...s-somewhere between..." he shivered in fear when the blonde woman glared at him with crossed arms.

"G-G-Granny..."

"Oi, brat, don't you 'granny' me," her gaze narrowed, "Who stole my booze, huh?" her eyes flashed dangerously and both alchemist and ninja started shivering in fear uncontrollably.

"W-W-we don't even d-d-drink alcohol!" both tried to defend themselves but the demon woman was unrelenting as she grabbed them both by the collars of their shirts.

"Listen up brats, I don't care if you're new to the village," she pointedly looked at Edward, "Or my precious student's boyfriend," she sent a look Naruto's way.

"S-She's not my girlfriend!" redness overwhelmed the entirety of his face and Tsunade smirked.

"Right, right. Now, on to business," her face was partly covered by a shadow, large waves of chakra and rage radiating off of her, "Which of you little thieves took my booze?"

Meanwhile in a secret place...

"Haaaahahahaha!" Jiraiya's loud bark of laughter was joined in with another's glasses filled with sake clinging together joyfully, "I can't believe it! Someone's keeping up with me 'cept Tsuna!" he laughed again, grinning widely.

The dark haired male grinned back, swishing the rich liquid in his glass, "Heh, can't say I'm not impressed, you hold your alcohol well," he burst into drunk laughter again, "Oi, oi, oi, how big did you say they were?" redness seemed to be the new permanent color of his cheeks now.

Jiraiya wasn't any better, "Oh Mustang, finally someone with great taste in women!" he clapped the other man on the back joyfully, "Ahhh, right, right," Jiraiya's face took on a perverted grin, leaning in close to Roy as if to gossip and gesturing with the other hand toward his chest, "This big! Just the right size for me!" he broke into hysterical, drunk laughter again and Roy joined him in.

"Ah...I've got a woman of my own...quite the curvaceous lady too..." a very identical perverted smirk stretched over his handsome features, until he remembered just how lethal she was, "...Well, if she isn't holding a gun to my head she is actually very nice..." he scratched his cheek.

Jiraiya cackled, "Ha, I could write you a book about that one buddy! Tsunade is just the same! Gives me a concussion and a boner every time!" he burst out laughing, clutching onto Mustang's shoulder for support.

"You dog," Roy was still grinning, downing his drink and laughing.

"Ahh yes...women are just fine..." both men leaned back in their seats.

Jiraiya suddenly remembered something, "Hey...did we forget something?"

Roy rose an eyebrow, not quite capable of long thought processes, "...I don't think so?"

Both men shrugged, chugging down another glass of alcohol.

"I don't suppose you know where they are," Riza quietly took a sip of the sake the woman before her offered her, leaning back in the chair of the Hokage office.

Tsunade crossed her fingers in front of her gaze, a dangerous smirk on her lips, "Oh, I know exactly where they are, there are only so many places that pervert thinks he can hide from me,"

Riza rose an eyebrow, amused, "What do you plan to do about it?" she smiled.

Tsunade's smirk widened, "Already taken care of it. What about you? You aren't going to let your woman get away with it, are you?" her gaze fixed on the guns holstered to her hips, "You don't seem the type of woman that would, anyway,"

Riza smirked, "Not at all," she smiled, "Already taken care of,"

Both women laughed, clinking their cups together as they drank.

"...Remind me again why I'm doing this?" Kakashi's deadpan expression would have been funny if not for the fact that he was in the same situation.

"Tch, beats me, I gotta do it or that crazy woman will kick my ass," Greed huffed, sounding as annoyed as the copy nin felt.

Kakashi sighed, "So, we're in the same boat..." he rose an eyebrow at the dog in Greed's arms, "...Why did he come along?"

Greed smirked, "You've seen Hawkeye, right? The blonde with the guns?" Kakashi nodded, "Let's just say she's not the only dangerous one here,"

Kakashi looked back down at the innocent looking puppy, wagging its tail happily and barking softly at him as if in greeting.

He sighed.

"...Naruto?"

"Hm?"

"...Did they forget we are here?"

"...I don't know," Naruto sighed, "Could be anything with that demon..."

"She's even worse than Winry...I didn't think that was possible," Ed growled, crossing his arms.

Naruto shrugged, "It could be worse..."

Ed rose an eyebrow, "...Worse?"

Naruto frowned, "...Err..."

Both boys sighed, hair nearly touching the ground as they both hung upside down, beaten bloody, from a tree.

"...Is it possible that'll we die when so much blood pumps into our head?" Naruto's question seemed valid...

Ed shook his head, "Severe cases of dizziness, sometimes losing consciousness, random urges to throw up..." Naruto rose an eyebrow curiously.

"...How do you know all of that?"

Ed seemed serious, "...Well, your Hokage isn't the only one prone to violence..." he looked at the blond ninja, "And no, this isn't my first time hanging from a tree..."

Both boys sighed, jumping slightly when they heard distinct screams of terror fill the air, along with loud barking and what Ed thought to be Greed's voice shouting 'Bite 'em! Bite 'em!'

Well, damn...

...Randomness ensued. ^^ Thanks for reading! :)