Chapter Nine
"Bella. Bella wait!" she hears a voice behind her. It's Rosalie's, but Bella doesn't stop, just keeps marching on. "Bella!" Rosalie breathes out in exasperation and grabs Bella by the arm, swinging her around.
"What?" Bella snaps out.
"What's wrong?" Rosalie asks, innocent eyes seeking Bella's face, trying to determine what could have happened. Did Rosalie not even know that Leah had been flirting with her?
"It's nothing."
"It's not nothing," Rosalie said, her grip still on Bella's upper arm. "Tell me. I don't like it when you're upset."
"It doesn't matter," Bella said, trying to shake her off but she lacked the coordination to do that right now. "Go have fun with Leah. I'm just gonna hang out in these woods."
Rosalie's brow furrowed in confusion. "Bella, you're my friend, not Leah."
Ouch. That's right, she and Rosalie were just friends. "Yea, friends," Bella scoffed, unable to hid the bitterness in her voice.
"Is there something wrong with being friends?" Rosalie inquired. Her honey colored orbs swirled, trying to understand this. Even like this, she looked so pretty. Blonde hair moving in the slight night breeze, face cast in shadows, body warm and smelling of spiced cinnamon despite her working on Leah's truck not so long ago. They were so close together; close and yet not enough.
Bella looked into Rosalie's eyes, seeing her own face with so much longing reflected in it that it made her sick. Or maybe it was the alcohol making her feel this way, like her stomach was heavy. Yes, she would blame it on the alcohol, especially for what she did next.
She leaned up and kissed Rosalie.
It was a soft peck of lips, her eyes slipping closed for a second to savor it.
Rosalie's lips were soft, and full, and they felt better than how Bella had dreamed they would feel. Reluctantly she pulled away, knowing she had crossed so many lines in their relationship today. But the butterflies in her stomach could not let her feel sorry.
When she opened her eyes she saw Rosalie was breathing hard, and Bella didn't know if it was from disgust or shock or- oh!
Rosalie kissed Bella back. It was a slow building kiss, the one that makes your stomach curl up with desire, the one that leaves you shaking like a leaf. Her mouth slanted to the side, hand cupping Bella's cheek so that their lips could slide together better.
Electricity coursed through Bella's veins as Rosalie got closer to her, and even closer, backing her up slowly against a nearby tree. The bark was rough on Bella's back as Rosalie leaned her weight into her, using the tree as support for them before she let out a shaky exhale and raced her tongue against Bella's lip seams, asking for entry.
Bella allowed it all too eagerly, the slide of Rosalie's hot tongue against her own making her release a muffled moan that was too loud. It only inspired Rosalie to delve even deeper with her tongue. The bark bites into Bella's too thin tee but she can't care right now, knees feeling dangerously weak and needing the extra support.
Bella can feel Rosalie's rapidly racing heart against her own, a cacophony of delight. Her hands go up and rake through Rosalie's hair. The blonde faintly smells of smoke, as does Bella. But she most certainly does not taste like beer. She tastes like something sweet, strawberry like. It's intoxicating and Bella can't get enough of it. She wants more. Her body is burning with it, and her chest feels tight and she's breathless and wanting and growing wet- "Rosalie..." she whimpers into the kiss, but Rosalie's mouth is moving away, her warmth is moving away.
Panic is on her face. "We-we shouldn't-" she chokes up on the words, before she's stumbling away into the woods. This time it's Bella who chases after her, latching onto her wrist before Rosalie can start running.
"Don't. Don't do that to me," Bella breathes out, tears pricking at her eyes. She can't be rejected. She refuses to be. Not when Rosalie had been so into it. Rosalie swallows thickly, pain mingling in her eyes at the near tears in Bella's. She bites her kiss swollen bottom lip.
"I...we should talk," she settles on at last. "Let me drive you home."
"Us, home," Bella stresses and Rosalie shakes her head sadly.
"It was never meant to be my home, Bella." A softly whispered statement.
Those words cut deeper than any rejection should and Bella feels numb now. She feels the high from the kiss and from the alcohol gone. "Sure," she says through stiff lips. She had always thought of Rosalie as part of her home. As part of her family. Seems she was wrong.
The house is dark; Charlie is asleep. Both Bella and Rosalie enter the house, the air awkward between them. Tension crackles within Bella's rib cage and she doesn't know what to do or say. Her mind has run through so many scenarios throughout the silent car ride while Rosalie had stared straight ahead at the road.
And now...they can no longer avoid this. Bella feels cold and tired now. She just wants this over with. She plops down on the couch. "Alright, you wanted to talk. So, let's talk before I pass out."
Rosalie sucks in her bottom lip, tucks her thumbs into the back of her cargo pants. Her eyes flick over Bella's sunken in form on the couch. Lingering on lips, then eyes, then skirting away like caged animals bouncing off of the walls of the room.
"We can't...I shouldn't become involved with you, Bella. I don't think my past was a happy one. I don't want any harm to come to you."
"And you think you have any right to decide that?" Bella shot back, not missing a beat. "If I want to become involved with you, that's on me and not on you."
"Bella-"
"No," Bella rose up, deciding to go all in. She needed to get this across to Rosalie no matter what. She had thought she could get rid of these feelings for her, but tonight had proved that couldn't happen. And the kiss had only cemented the fact that Bella wanted no one else but Rosalie. "I've liked you for a while now, and I refuse to be shot down this easily. You kissed me back too, so something tells me this isn't one sided."
"It's not. It's not one sided," Rosalie affirms in a softened voice. Trying to appease. Hope yawns open in Bella's chest. Rosalie likes her back? After all this time, that's the thing Bella needed to know the most. "Which is why it has to stop. I'm putting you in danger."
"And I already told you, I refuse to let that stop us from even trying," Bella said, reaching out for Rosalie's hand. It was so warm. "You deserve to be happy too."
Rosalie squeezes the hand back. "If any harm came to you, because of me, I don't know what I would do with myself. I think I simply might stop existing," Rosalie let out with a depreciative chuckle.
Bella inhaled sharply. "Rosalie, don't say that."
"It's true," Rosalie said, raising Bella's knuckles to her lips and brushing her mouth gently across the back of them. "I've...I feel like I've loved you a long time, Bella. For eons. I don't know why I feel this way. But from the moment my eyes landed on you, I knew I loved you and would do anything to protect you. Which is why us dating, I can't help but feel something bad will come of it."
"How can you be so sure of something like that?" Bella asked, Rosalie's confession both so uplifting and depressing at the same time. It raised Bella up, only to bring her crashing back down.
Rosalie shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. I just have this feeling."
"So, that's it then? It's over before it even began?"
Rosalie shifts her eyes and drops Bella's hand. She doesn't say anything but she doesn't need to.
Bella chokes down the rising tide of bitterness in her mouth. Tears stream down her face. They're feelings match and yet Rosalie doesn't want to connect them.
Bella rushes upstairs and throws herself onto the bed.
The last few weeks of summer drag by. Agonizingly slow. Bella does her best to avoid Rosalie when she's at the house, but it's hard to do it perfectly when they live together. Rosalie stays out at her job and in town for as long as she can before going home, and Bella's out on the Reservation with Jake and his friends, trying to drink away her feelings. On the surface they still talk to each other and are nice, but they don't have that same connection as before. They don't linger, don't inquire too deeply. Each time Bella sees Rosalie it stabs her right in the heart and she can't stay long, because with each heart beat, the wound hurts more and more.
If Rosalie's hurting, it's hard to see. She still radiates her uplifting energy, but she's stopped repairing things around the house. That's more out of the fact that she's fixed everything up, and that the house is as good as it will ever get thanks to her.
Charlie's a bit slow on the uptake and it's not till the day before school is supposed to start, that he speaks up. "Are you and Rosalie fighting?"
Wow, about time, she wants to roll her eyes at his questioning. But better late than never. She waffles on what she should tell him. Should she tell him the truth? That she liked Rosalie and they'd kissed but Rosalie had broken her heart by saying they shouldn't be together even if they both liked each other? Or should she lie?
"It's nothing," she says off hand. "Just some girl things."
He furrows his brow, defenseless against the 'girl things' line. Charlie can't possibly intervene now, too manly for such things or topics.
"I hope it'll be okay," he offers up weakly.
"Yea," Bella whispers softly and goes upstairs to get ready for school tomorrow.
Bella feels no excitement when she goes to school. She feels drab and dull. Who knew that having her heart broken like this could suck so much?
Maybe it would have been better never to have meet Rosalie. Because at least Bella could have continued being a normal student, worrying about normal things, and not about Rosalie's past and why it mattered so much as to keep them apart.
"Rough summer?" Mike asked, appearing behind her as they go up the stairs.
"Says the lucky bastard who got to go to France," Bella offers him a smile. Seeing Mike never fails to cheer her up and she missed him the whole summer, only able to talk to him through snapchat. She could have confided in him about her troubles but she decided not to, not wanting to ruin his fun.
"Hey, it wasn't all fun and games," he protests playfully. "My French was so bad I almost got laughed out of the country."
"You're being a drama queen about it."
"Am not. I brought you some nice things. I'll give them to you after school."
"You didn't have to," Bella said though she was happy. Maybe some gifts would cheer her up.
"Anything interesting happen in Forks while I was gone?"
"Ha! As if!" Bella said.
They entered their first class together, their seats up in the front.
"Alright class, we have a new transfer student today, so be nice to her," their English teacher said.
Mike and Bella exchanged curious looks. Who would ever want to transfer to Forks?
A petite girl with hair that was sticking out in every which way and yet managed to look artistic, walked in. She had on a cheery outfit, with a bright pink shirt and tight gray jeans. "Hello everyone. My name is Alice Cullen. I hope we'll get along," she said briefly. Her voice was high pitched and soft, like the twinkling of bells. And her eyes were a soft golden honey.
There was something about her. Something that Bella couldn't place her finger on. But something...unusual and familiar. As Alice spoke, her eyes had landed on Bella, maintaining direct eye contact before she was instructed to sit down somewhere in the back by the English teacher.
"Do you know her?" Mike whispered as he flipped his notebook open.
Bella shook her head no. "I don't know her. I've never seen her before."
"Why was she looking at you?"
"Maybe I have something weird on my face?" Bella joked before she fell silent and took notes as well.
It wasn't until lunch that Bella came across Alice again. The new girl already had a group of people clamoring to be her friend, but she ignored their invites for lunch and came to sit down with Bella and Mike at their lunch table. She set the tray down, all without even asking. How presumptuous. Did she assume just because others wanted to know her, that Mike and Bella did too?
"Uh, hello," Mike said as Alice sat in the seat by Bella.
"Hello," Alice said, smiling so brightly. "I hope you don't mind but the others were wearing me down and you two seemed pretty chill so I figured I'd rather sit here than with them."
"Popular girl struggles," Mike said with a teasing grin.
"It's not like I asked for it. I was hoping to avoid that. The last high school I was in, I was popular too, but honestly, it's all bullshit. I wanted to be nice and help everyone and yet, the other popular girls started causing rumors and incidents and I just decided that wasn't the type of environment I wanted to be in. So I came here, somewhere small and secluded, to get a fresh start."
"Forks high is the wrong place for that. Even if you've got an inch of cool in you, it's enough to be worshiped," Mike pointed out.
"Well, I hope you two can be friends with me and not because I'm cool," Alice said with a small giggle. "Mike and Bella right?"
"Yea," Mike nodded his head and Bella did the same, not entirely happy about this prospect.
"Bella, you haven't said anything yet. Have I said something wrong?" Alice turned to look at Bella, who narrowed her eyes at her in return. Those golden orbs. So similar. But why? They reminded Bella so much of Rosalie's. She wondered, what was the blonde doing now?
Was she taking an online class? Was she working? Was she okay?
Whatever. Bella shouldn't care about her. Rosalie had made it clear she didn't want Bella any closer to her.
"No, I'm just not very talkative," Bella eked out, turning to her food with a downcast gaze. She tuned Alice and Mike out as they talked about whatever struck up their fancy.
The end of the day arrived sooner than Bella would've liked. She would have to go back home soon and face Rosalie. Could she maybe stop by the Reservation? Chill with the boys until it was late enough and then head home?
The only downer to that was Leah. Bella didn't particularly like her or care about her. But sometimes she asked Bella about Rosalie and it got annoying. What made Leah think that she had a chance with Rosalie?
"Bella!" a cheery voice called to her and Bella turned to see Alice was rushing up to her as students left the school. "Can I ask you for a small favor?"
"Uh, sure?" Bella questioned. She was in no mood to humor Alice, but perhaps a distraction caused by the petite girl was just the thing Bella needed.
"Can you give me a tour of Forks? I'm afraid I don't know many places here," Alice said, clasping her hands together.
Bella's eyebrows shoot up. Oh, well she didn't want to do this really...but..."there's not much to show."
"Please?" Alice begged, doing puppy eyes and Bella let out a sigh. She supposed it would be okay.
"Alright," she acquiesced and Alice followed her to her truck.