Aaron fiddled nervously with the tray of cookies in his hand. He had woken up early to make the trip to Nino's to get Emily's favorite pastries. He double checked the address,and rang the doorbell. The Maryland town house was larger than anything even available in D.C. It had a brick exterior and had a large front porch. Evidence of Elena was scattered all around, sidewalk chalk dumped out beside a Minnie Mouse lawn chair, a tub of bubble solution on the steps, a baby doll forgotten on the porch. Seeing her things made his stomach flip-flop. These were his daughter's things.
Emily opened the door smiling. His heart skipped a beat. He immediately was lost in her smile, bringing him back to a happier time, when Emily had been a more permanent fixture in his life.
"Aaron! You're early!"
She was more casual than he had ever seen her, in leggings, a georgetown hoodie, and bare feet. He instantly felt overdressed, the collar of his polo suddenly feeling stiff and tight. "Sorry, I can come back I. .."
"No, no. Come in. Elena is just still taking a nap that's all."
He stepped inside, offering Emily the tray of cookies. "For you. All the way from Nino's."
Emily examined the package, furiously studying the ingredients label. She then walked over to the trash can, opened the lid, and tossed them in.
"WHAT THE. .. .WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Aaron yelped.
Emily began to tie up the trash bag. "Elena is allergic to peanuts. Like deathly allergic. She spent three days in the hospital a few months ago, when she somehow got her hands on a Reese's cup."
Guilt washed over Aaron. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."
"I didn't tell you. I'm a crappy parent."
"I almost killed my own child. I think I'm the crappy parent." Aaron scoffed.
"MAMA? MAMA! Maaaaaaammmma!" a tiny voice called from the baby monitor on the kitchen island.
"Shoot, She's awake. I hate to ask, but could you take this outside for me? Then wash your hands really well. We can't have any peanut residue on them. Please?" Emily asked.
Aaron smiled at her. "Sure."
Emily grinned and vanished up the steps.
…
Aaron was drying his hands when he heard them coming down the stairs.
"Crinkle Crinkle Wittle Star. . . how I wonder what you arrrrrrrrrre!" the tiny voice from the baby monitor sang from the stairwell. Aaron smiled. Apparently Elena was a performer.
"Up above the world so high. . ." the toddler appeared, sliding down the steps on her belly. Her hair was in two lopsided ponytails, the two pink bows no match for her massive obsidian curls. She was wearing glittery black leggings and a pink wonder woman shirt.
"Elena Alexandria I asked you to wait for Mommy." Emily called,emerging from the stairwell.
"Mama!" Elena called fearfully, froze as she spotted Aaron.
Emily took Elena's small hand in hers, and led her over to him. Elena hid timidly behind Emily's leg. Emily rubbed her back softly. "It's ok. Elena this is. . . He's. . . this is. . ."
Aaron knelt down, becoming eye level with her. "Hi Elena, I'm your mommy's friend Aaron."
Elena peaked out, her big brown eyes full of wonder. "Aaron?"
Emily bent down joining them. She glanced at Aaron. "Yes, this is my friend Aaron. Do you remember mommy's friend President Kirkman that mommy watches on tv?"
"No Kirk. I watch Min Mouse."
Aaron chuckled. "Guess we can't count on your vote."
Elena walked over to Aaron. "You watch Min Mouse?"
Aaron smiled. "I would love to watch Minnie Mouse with you."
Elena tugged at his hand, her tiny delicate hand almost totally eclipsed by his large hand. "C'mon!"
Aaron stood up, letting her lead him into the living room.
"Aaron, you do not have to watch Minnie Mouse." Emily called.
He smiled his million dollar smile in her direction. "My girl wants to watch Minnie. We're watching Minnie!"
…
"I think she's finally asleep." Aaron said, walking into the kitchen. "Only took 3 stories and 5 songs."
Emily stood at the sink washing dishes. "The only other person she's ever let put her to bed besides me was my friend Claudia, and that's only because Claudia let's her goof off for three hours up there."
She threw a towel at him. "Here, help me dry?"
"Um, didn't I just put Elena to bed, is the hardest part of the day, I hate bedtime?" Aaron replied playfully teasing her, reminiscences of the days they worked together.
Emily poked back. "Didn't you have three helpings of chicken and noodles?"
"I don't even want to think about how many crunches it's going to take to burn that off."
"I'm glad we ate dinner after you sat at Elena's table. I don't think that little toddler table could hold you plus three helpings." Emily rinsed the soap from the plate handing it to Aaron. "By the way I think I'm going to sell the picture of you stuck in the chair to the Enquirer."
I can see it now "Vice President Shore risks weight limit of toddler Minnie Mouse chair to play playdough with his daughter." Aaron chuckled, drying the plate.
"Your daughter. I love hearing you say that." Emily replied, thinking out loud.
"I love standing here, drying dishes with you."
"You're such a politician." Emily snorted but Aaron was serious. They had quickly fallen back into old familiarity, ever so comfortable with each other.
"Come back to D.C. with me." the words left his mouth before he was even sure he should say them.
Emily shut the water off. "Aaron. No."
"Emily, I already lost two years with her. I'm not losing another a minute."
"Her whole life is here. Her friends, her house, her daycare. My job. Everything. Besides, you yourself said D.C. was no place to raise a family."
"That's before I had a family." He retorted. He could see in Emily's eyes that they both wanted the same thing, but were both lost on how to get there.
Emily sighed. "Aaron. . . ."
"I woke up two weeks ago, not knowing I had a daughter. Today I held my daughter, sang with her, played with her, read her books, and tucked her in, and you know what? It was the most perfect feeling I've ever known. She's already got me wrapped around her finger. I would do anything in the world for her. I'll be her hero, her keeper, her basketball coach, her math tutor, whatever she needs. I'm going to be her daddy." Aaron could feel his pulse in his temples.
"If you want a relationship with her I can't stop you. I want you to have a relationship with her, but I'm drawing the line at us. We can't be together. We don't work." Her words had an air of finality to them.
"We never even tried!" He shouted, suddenly remembering Elena was asleep.
Emily sighed."Ok we drop everything and go to D.C. then what? We're just one big happy family? It doesn't work like that!"
"WHY CAN'T IT?" Aaron hissed, wanting to scream at the top of his lungs, but also not wanting to wake Elena up.
"We should be together for her." he mumbled under his breath.
Emily rubbed her temples, sighing loudly. "No Aaron, we SHOULDN'T be together For her. I've been the kid with the parents that are together, "for her". I don't want that for her. We seem to have a good thing going with this parenting thing, let's not ruin it."
Aaron drew in a deep breath. He was disappointed to say the least, but the last thing he wanted to do was push Emily away again. Once again there was silence, the weight of their argument still lingering in the air thick and heavy like a blanket.
Emily broke the stillness. "It's getting late."
Aaron nodded. "I should go."
Emily padded over to the fridge, pulling out a small tupperware container. "Here. I packed you up the leftover chicken and noodles."
A smile spread across Aaron's face. "Thank you."
Emily walked him outside, welcoming the cool night air after the heated exchange in the kitchen. "Thanks for coming all the way out here."
Aaron paused for a moment, and jogged back up the steps. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, gently rubbing her arm. Despite the heaviness in her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against his. She sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture.
He squeezed her tight. "Anything for my girls."