FIRST:
"In the past twelve months, have you had any penchant for violence or aggression?" with little emotion or talent added to question, she absorbs it and, like a nervous novice actor reciting their lines for the first time, she struggles to locate the correct wording. The doctor makes no attempt to look at her, as he sits behind the solid brown desk as the computer screen blocks part of his face. He waits for a response, as the wheels of the old rickety chair screaks on the tiles, pushing himself further away from his desk. "What was that, Jaeden?"
"No," she states, her eyes lock on the wall next to her, legs cramping as they remain cross and her hands remain firm in her lap. Proceeding with the next set of questions without missing a beat, he states a series of inquiring about her thoughts or inclination about drug use, to whether she engaged in any inappropriate sexual behaviors, to whether she experience anxiety. Then the anticipation finally ceases itself as he asks.
"In the past twelve months, have you had any penchant for suicidal thoughts or ideation?" her pause lasts almost too long before she rushes out a flat no.
A few minutes later, the mental health exam ends and the doctor looks up at her, a wrinkled smile plastered on his face. "Alright Jaeden, I'll call for the nurses to come get you."
"Well?" She says, standing from her seat as the rush of sensations return to her limbs. "That's it?" The doctor stares at her, still trap in that same smile with his arms leaning on top of the desk.
"Yes, Jaeden that's it. It has been good seeing your progress over the past several years. I'll make sure to have them come get you when your family arrives." Jaeden nods, the doors open and a young nurse, with bags under her sparkling green eyes, arrive to escort her back to her room.
She stalks back inside her room, the sterile feeling engulfs her for the past time as, she ponders how she had to endure the void of the entire facility. Her cot rattles when she flops down on top of it, searching the ceiling above her. She scrunches up the sheets beneath her and squeezes her eyes. Her breathing attains in slow fragments cloak with memories that cloud her mind. She flashes her eyes open. No, she thought with a heavy shake of her head. She jumps up from the cot, pacing around the tiny room. She peers at Malia, leaning against the doorframe watching her with an acute glare.
"You alright?" Malia replies, using a finger to push her short curly brown hair from her eyes. Jaeden smiles under her sorrow eyes as gestures a nod. "I have to say, I'm going to miss your quirkiness and annoying habits around here when you leave." Malia stops herself, lowering her gaze before leveling them back at Jaeden. "I cannot believe today's your last day and you're leaving me."
Malia smirks moving towards Jaeden with outstretched arms. They embrace each other, holding onto the other while the scent of the other drips from their bodies. "You'll get out too, Malia," Jaeden's whisper tickles in Malia's ear. "One day."
"Sure," Malia chokes, clutching even tighter. "And I'm sure my drug out parents left me a million-dollar fortune for my 18th birthday."
Jaeden coughs a cold laugh from her throat, pulling away with Malia's hands cup around hers. Noticing a faint glossy texture covering over Malia's deep brown eyes. She snatches her head away, breaking free from Jaeden's grasp.
"Look," Malia begins, moving towards a large brown desk block in the corner of the room. She slides on top of it, arms cross in front of her body. "I know that life can be a bitch, but promise whatever happens," she pauses, eyes intent on Jaeden with a faux unbreakable expression on her face. "Whatever you do, try to make it through it." Jaeden nods, a slight smile on her face. The two stare at each other, both in a calming silence that took perfection over the years. "So, want to have one last nice meal with me of old mashed potatoes, peas, and dry chicken before you get the fuck out here."
Jaeden grips her dark brown hands around the top of her gray oversize sweatpants. "Why, Malia," Jaeden purrs, shuffling towards her. "I would love to." Malia rolls her eyes with a flirty smirk on her face. She prepares herself for the door, grabbing Jaeden's hand as they stomp out. Jaeden sneaks one last peak through the doorway of the room.
The two lone cots set upon wooden frames, only one cover in a thin frail sheet with a limp pillow set on the end of each of them. The tiled white and gray checkered floor spreads out from beneath the cots and outreaching to the desk.
Jaeden flashes of memories embark before her eyes. The vivid, crispness of her arriving to the hospital imprinted forever on her brain like a branding. She could still feel the dry, itchy feeling of her wrists. The stain of blood flowing down her smooth brown arms. She forces herself to stop, to ignore and wave away the memory. Rubbing at her arms, pulling up her sleeves; the scars still clear and visible on her wrists to see. She yanks down the shirt and bolts from the room. Making herself leave the tragic memory behind in that room.
She enjoys her last meal with Malia, a delicacy of cold mashed potatoes stacks next to peas and a slab of chicken that leaves a taste of dry cardboard on her tongue as it slides down her throat. She welters around the afterwards, staring at the old brown stain on the retch blue carpet that spools out around the bunkrooms meeting the boring tile floors.
It does not take long before the staff arrive to take her away. They first appear in the dayroom, their khaki pants and bright yellow shirts as they fiddle with the whistle around their necks. They peer at her, faces drain and worn like they spent a thousand years in the dessert slaving away in the blistering sun. They bring Jaeden to her room, only to retrieve the two bags that she had the entire time she was here before exiting her down the hallway.
She makes her way down the hallway, the girls all finding themselves lining up along the wall watching Jaeden in front of the two staff members. Their expressions a mixture of disgust and fury, most of them not even wanting to peer directly at her as she passes. Jaeden moves, slower and slower until she crosses Malia's path. Stopping, Malia's brown eyes smiling into hers, she drops her bags and wraps Malia into her snug in her arms. "I'll visit," Jaeden whispers, the words spiking chills down both of their spines. "I promise, I'll visit." A sudden stream of dampness loaves along Jaeden's neck. She smiles to herself, gliding the base of her sleeve on her elbow over Malia's face quick enough before the staff pulls them apart.
Jaeden turns, only noticing Malia disappearing behind the crowd of girls. The paces of her footsteps gains speed as they clomp down the hallway, passing through the large secured double doors of the front entrance as it screeches out loud beeps allowing her to exit. The staff continue walking beside her, looking straight down another long hallway.
The distant speech in the main building start to sound more and more pronounce. As few moments pass before she hears nothing but the clicking footsteps of her and the nurse walking with her. She makes it to the last large set of doors, the staff fumble with their badges as she sneaks through the opaque glass, recognizing familiar fragments until another loud bee screams in her ear.
The door unlocks, Jaeden embraces the warm bright sun smiling down on her. She stops to drop her bags on the ground as she looks out in the parking lot. She shields her eyes to witness her mother, Sierra and her younger sister, Josie standing by a large shiny silver Jaguar with two other strange men by their sides.
In an instant Josie dashes through the parking lot, her baby sister's arms squeezing tight around her body almost whisking away her breath. She engulfs herself in the hug, Josie's light cries basking onto her. They pull away, giving each other a plain greeting almost like long lost relatives unsure of what to say.
Another pair of arms soon wraps around both of them, this one gentler and tender, as Jaeden notices her mother's trembling breath as she hugs them both, almost paralyze in the moment. Josie turns back, releasing herself from the hug as she calls out the men's name. They move slow and careful towards them. Jaeden picks up her bags, her mother and sister by her side as they all descend down the tiny row of steps. A sudden breeze sprints by her as the loud beep of the door locks behind her.
"Is that Sheriff Keller and… and Kevin?" Jaeden examines. Josie gives a playful nod as they come closer to them, taking Jaeden's stuff and moving it to the fancy vehicle. Sheriff Keller graces himself to Sierra, his firm hand on the small of her back, caressing it. Sierra reaches for Jaeden, adorning her with another long embrace before retreating away. She turns towards the sheriff with a huge smile on her face, her hand prickling along his neck.
"Jaeden, you remember Tommy right," Sierra beams, finally hooking her arm around his waist.
"I know Sheriff Keller," Jaeden chuckles. "But, I'm not too familiar with 'Tommy'." She gazes at her mother's sour expression while the sheriff gives out a hardy laugh.
An extensive pause grazes through them, while the sheriff alerts his eyes down to Jaeden with a calm vibe. "I know this could not have been easy for you but I want to say we're all very proud of how far you've come." Jaeden tries to absorb the words, sneering her head down to her feet, hesitant and irresolute. She moves around the vehicle, her insecure face plaster on the gleaming exterior as she opens it.
"Well, I don't know about anyone else but I'm ready to leave and get far away from this place," Jaeden voice shouts with an unsteady and uneasiness to it. The sheriff tries to pat Jaeden on the shoulders, stiffening at his touch. After a moment, everyone climbs into the car as they all prepare to drive off.
The drive goes by with nothing but silence in the car. Jaeden sits in the comfort layer of the middle row of the vehicle, between Kevin, the sheriff's son, Josie. She peers up towards her mother in the passenger's side of the car, caressing Tom's knee. He removes one of his hands from the steering wheel and places it on top of hers. Their fingers interlace each other's and Jaeden could not help but to clasp on the between them.
In the past couple of years that she spent away from her family, away from the outside existing world. She could not help but feel some mixture of budding resentment and anger along with relief building up inside of her. Here she is, with everyone and while she was trapped in that institution living what appeared to be the same day over and over again in a constant recession. Everyone was on the outside, living their lives without her. She breathes out a warm fluff of air as she tries to push off these annoying worming thoughts that are trying to sneak into her mind and torment her.
She tries to focus on the positive, on all that she managed to accomplish but anxiety could not help itself plead in her heart, about who else has in her old life has changed.
They arrive at a restaurant, pack with old jalopies and expensive sport cars. The pull into a parking spot as everyone files out of the car. Jaeden looks up and notices the exact place they are. The large letters in bright neon red flashing Pop's chocolate shop above her head. She inhales, examines her surroundings, while the cool air whistles against the ground as the first few leaves start to break away from branches and tumble slow to the ground, scraping against the gravel with the wind.
Her family hurry inside, with Kevin and Josie running towards the entrance. She follows them, pausing at the door, propping it open for her mother until she turns back and sees Tom and Sierra holding hands, lingering in a causal stroll. They make it to the door and thank her as they enter.
A few paces in, looking around at all of the unfamiliar faces. The place appears pack and lively with bustles of laughter spreading across the entire restaurant. The smell of fresh fried food fills their nostrils. Jaeden pauses, moves slow, searching. It seems almost like the restaurant has grew in size since the last time she has been here.
Jaeden peers at the counter fill with people as she notices a young red head sitting at the bar. She plucks a cherry out of her shake and bites it off the stem, placing the stem on the counter as she swirls the shake around with the straw. Jaeden stares at her, as it does not take long for the red head to feel her gaze and turn around, the two coming face to face.
"I know, I'm beautiful but can you stop drooling over me," the red head purrs the harsh words over her shoulders. Her eyes lock on her strawberry shake. Jaeden gives a slight chuckle as she calls out her name. The red head's posture changes, straightens as her long ginger hair pours down her back. She turns around in her seat and looks at Jaeden, her plump lips mouth out Jaeden's name without any sound escaping.
A causal hello and a warm smile is all Jaeden provides her while she moves closer. "Jaeden?" the red head manages to slip her name, clear and precise from her. Jaeden affords a slight nod, the red head jumps down from her seat and runs towards Jaeden, wrapping her slim pale arms around Jaeden's broad shoulders in a tickling embrace. Jaeden hugs her back, tightening her grip around the red head's tiny waist.
"Hey Cheryl," Jaeden smiles into Cheryl's thick hair. They pull away as they stare at each other. Cheryl's cheeks turn a bright pink as she flips her hair, crossing her arms in front of her, her eyes looking past Jaeden. "So," Jaeden jokes, her tone calm. "I take it you missed me then." Cheryl rolls her eyes, forcing her lips to pitch together to not exhibit a smile in front of her. "So, how's everything? Life good? School good?"
In a moment, Cheryl stares, eyes filling up with tears, a voice getting caught in her throat. She prepares herself to speak, to her, to talk to her. After too many long years of not being able to talk to someone. A loud, obnoxious voice shoots out through the restaurant shouting Jaeden's name. They both turn, seeing Stiles running towards her, leaving his dad, Deputy Stilinsky behind him.
"Holy shit, you're finally out!" Stiles bellows, wrapping his arms tight around Jaeden. "For a minute, I was worried that they were going to have to lobotomize you and you would be a vegetable or something."
Jaeden laughs. "It's not the 1950s. How have you been?"
"Well you know," he shrugs, placing his hands on his hips. "I've been the same that I've always been."
"Really?" Jaeden tries to hide her surprise. "No changes, nothing new?" Stiles gives a lazy shake of his head. "Well, that's good. How's Lydia? Scott? Allison? Danny? Jackson?"
"Well, Lydia's great actually. She received an academic scholarship for school this fall and is really excited about it. Scott's good, he had a scholarship too but for lacrosse. Allison's good, no scholarship per say but it's not like her family can't afford it. Danny's still a nerd. Jackson is well, Jackson but has managed to be a little less Jackson-y so that's a welcome shock."
Jaeden laughs and nods. The earlier tense clutching in her chest fades away as she relaxes her shoulders. "Well that's good…for him. What about Kira?" Stiles becomes quiet, his expression darkens as his eyes fall, forcing his back to her as he stares across the restaurant.
"Well, I have to get back before my dad orders something for me. But it was great seeing you. We all need to get together and catch up." Like that Stiles leaves.
A large lump swells in Jaeden's stomach and the sweat bubbles down into her eyes. Nodding over and over again, to herself. She paces back to her family.
The phone sprouts put a large light, bouncing around on the small wooden dresser beside her. Her eyes open wide as she turns over on her side and picks it up. Revealing a message from Stiles that snaps her straight in her bed, heart hammering in her chest lace with the touch of guilt as it washes over her.
She opens the small drawer to throw her phone down into it and locks it away. She rolls over on her back; eyes pin on the ceiling. Thoughts swirl around her like tight coils on her brain as she tries to hold back tears. Her heart continues to thud.
Finally, pulling herself up on the bed as she throws her slender, muscular legs over the side of it. Her long dark brown hair covers up half her face, sticking to the wetness of her cheeks. She exhales, walks up over to her closet and grabs a large jacket. She moves over to the window in the corner of her room, gazing out as a small breeze sneaks through the cracks.
Suddenly, she finds herself standing outside in front of her house. She turns to the window where her room is, where she was just standing. Before she drags down the sidewalk. Her feet gliding against the uneven pavement while the breeze slides through her way, throwing it around her face. A faint whispering of the it blows past her ear. A shiver rolls down her spine bringing with it shame and worry.
The wind becomes more aggressive and strong. She glances up at the sky, at the upbeat purples, oranges, and pinks bleeding together. She watches it, trying to bring her thoughts to a single connotation. The wind whispers again, louder and more severe like a deep raspy cackle. She observes around her, at empty streets and empty sidewalks, all by herself, all alone. She snaps her eyes back up at the sky as it gets darker and darker. The light soon evaporates into evening dusk before she decides to tread home.
She trudges down the sidewalk bringing herself back to her house. She peers up at her window again, the green trimmings coating around the clean clear glass against the eggshell white of the house's stone background, as twirling yellow flowers meander their way on the vines that screen around the edges of the house. She finds herself immediately back in her room. No trace or memory of her walking up the steps or entering the house.
She moves to the center of her room, as the dark gray walls soak up the darkness coming from outside and flops down on her little bed, groaning. The cool wind stays outside, yet the faint whisper slips its way into the room and into her ear. She springs up in her bed, glancing at everything around her. No one, nothing but herself and the darkness. The shadows begin to move and dance around her, demonstrating a silhouette of ballets and intricacies. She sits on her bed, thinking. How did I end up here? She exhales once more, closing her eyes hoping the answers will come to her.
She opens her eyes and sees all the shadows blended into one. A large looming presence stares down at her with deep reddish orange eyes. It opens its mouth wide in a grotesque Glasgow grin and bellows out in a low prickly voice "When unconditional power enters, it brings forth death and despair with it." The shadow grows larger in size, inching its way closer and closer, towards her. The eyes start to flicker in a rhythmic pattern of a rising heartbeat as quick flashes of light beam on the shadow as it makes its final step, towards her, smile extending.
It starts to break down, dissipating back into the darkness around it. The lights flicker on, brightening up the entire room as a slow rap on the door follows it, pushing open with a low creak.
A tall older Korean man appears at the door. He takes a few steps into the room.
"Kira?" He asks, a slight pleading in his voice. "Is everything alright?" Kira stiffens in her bed, a faux smile sneaks on her face. "Well, all your friends have been trying to call you. They haven't heard from you in a few weeks. I just wanted to make sure."
"Yeah," Kira states. "I'm perfectly alright." Her dad nods, preparing to leave.
"Jaeden was released from the hospital today," he says. Kira's body stiffens more straight up in her bed, looking at her dad with grief and worry. Her dad smiles and nods before exiting out of the room. Kira's mind races as she rushes to the window. She slips backwards only to find herself landing into a pile of lush green grass. She looks up at the dark sky sprinkle with stars. She pulls herself up, brushing off the back of herself. She turns and recognizes the area around her.
She looks at the house in front of her, large with sparkling white stone and dark blue edges line around the entire presence of it. The yard cut fresh, with no signs of garden giving itself away. She walks up to the dark blue door, her hand hovering before the impending knock, like a force preventing her. She reaches her other hand to help guide her, only to pull her other hand away. She gaps, attempting to walk away.
She runs back to the door and prepares to knock again. A large air of warmth and light rushes out as the door swings open. And there stands Jaeden in the doorway. Her dark brown eyes scan over Kira with remorse and fear. Their hearts both pounding instantaneously with rapid force, Kira's hand drops to her side.
The two look at each other with no words. Kira's large brown eyes begin to tear up as her whole body trembles. A quiet stream of tears slide from Jaeden's eyes as her mouth begins to mouth out 'I'm sorry'. Kira lunges towards her, wrapping her arms tight around her friend's bulky body. The words repeat themselves over and over again from Jaeden's mouth, the stream of tears splashes from themselves all over her face until her cheeks are soak.
"No," Kira croaks out. "I'm the one that should be sorry." Jaeden hugs her back, the two embracing each other in silence. The crickets chirping a peaceful sound as it surrounds them.
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I WILL POST A CHAPTER EVERY THURSDAY {SO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK!}*