FIFTH:
The phone buzzes as Jaeden turns on her side. A few hours have passed since she has been lying in her bed, staring starry-eye at her ceiling with so many ideals and worries dashing around in her mind that her body appears to have tense up in a statue. The phone continues to buzz as Jaeden reaches over and stares at it. A few texts from Stiles appear on her screen. The first one, asks if she wants to go on a road trip the following day. The next couple apologizes for not asking about how she is doing since the accident the other night and her being release out into the world. The final text, almost appear to be begging as Jaeden envisions it in his unique voice, pleads for her to come on a road trip with them.
Jaeden could feel herself chuckling, replying back with a series of question marks. She sends out another reply with a simple wording of maybe and a wink face. A knock thuds on her door until it opens. Her mother strolls inside a weary smile on her face. She comes and sits on the bed, Jaeden curling up her legs to make a space for her.
"How'ya doing?" she asks. Her face shows a smile but Jaeden can see that it is just a casing, a fake smile to disguise her true emotions. Jaeden mumbles some random words of happiness as all her mother does is nod. "Well, we have an appointment today with Dr. Thompson and Dr. Emma." Jaeden yanks herself up in her bed, giving her mother a questionable look.
"I thought I didn't meet with them until two weeks?" she says. Her mother shrugging before keeping intent eyes on her.
"I thought that after everything that had happened over the past couple of days. I've decided to reschedule for today. They were more than happy to meet with you sooner," she says. Jaeden sighs, shaking her head to herself. She could feel her mother's face begin to fall. She looks at her and smiles, a force one but a bit more genuine as she could.
"You're right, momma," Jaeden begins. "There's no point in waiting a whole two weeks if they have an opening for tomorrow." Sierra smiles a large grin. She reaches over and engulfs Jaeden in her arms. She feels her hold on her tightening after a few moments before Jaeden attempts to break free from the embrace.
Sierra pulls away, her eyes peering at the ground. She rubs the edge of her wrists over her eyes before looking to smile at Jaeden once more. She tells her to get ready before she exits from her room. Jaeden watches her mom leaves with a heavy feeling of guilt and annoyance bubbling in her chest. She rises from her bed and stumbles to look at herself in the mirror. She sees the unsatisfied, unkempt, pitiful, sullen version of herself that she has always seen for years. She reaches and cups her hands with a pool of cool water and splashes it on her face. In an instant, she sees a stretched, tight, imitation happy expression on her face. She tries to maintain the excitable façade as she prepares to get ready.
"Any drowsiness, fatigue, or anything like that?" Jaeden stares a blank expression moving turning her face into a smile. She nods her head with an exuberant shake before the doctor turns back to his computer. The room fills up with the sounds of the keys clicking at a rapid pace. Jaeden looks down at her pants and smooths them out for the umpteenth time. She cradles her fingers together as the doctor shoots another look her way.
"What about any thoughts of suicide, depression, hopelessness?" Jaeden snickers, a genuine sound of humor escaping her lips.
"No," she teases. "For once, I'm taking anti-depressants that don't make me feel even more depressed." The doctor looks at Jaeden with a half-form smirk before it disappears. He turns back to the computer and the sounds of the keys clapping on the keyboard fill up the room again. Jaeden looks around at all of the paintings and frames of diplomas hung around the office. She sees a particular painting that catches her eyes, looking similar to the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland but the coloring and prints mien murky and black. The figures on the painting, smudge and smear like someone wiped their hand across it by mistake and decided to pass it off anyway.
The painting stares back at Jaeden, still and placid like a normal painting usually is. It warps as the characters appear to move, appear to dance. The Cheshire cat-like stares profuse as they bounce into her eyes at Jaeden with penetrating direct eye-contact, as the smiles grow and twist.
"Any nausea or vomiting?" The phrase booms out, ringing in her ears as she returns her mind back to reality. Jaeden shakes her head, more vigorous this time. The doctor types away. He appears to have finish as she pushes himself from the computer and rests his frail lanky arms on the top of the solid, dark wooden brown desk. She gleams at Jaeden, the wrinkles creasing at the edges of his eyes and mouth. The entirety of his face appearing to be more wrinkles than it is hard to distinguish any of the man's features.
"Well, Jaeden," he states. His voice cold and calculating contrasting with the engrave smile on his face. "It's only been a few days since you've been out of the hospital. And you haven't been on the medication that long. It usually takes a few weeks to really notice any effects." Jaeden nods along with the man's words, his voice drains in and out on occasion. The man appears to have stopped talking while Jaeden halts her nodding. He inquires her about any circumstances that Jaeden could have experienced during the altercation that could cloud the knowledge of effects of the medication between those effects of that night. Jaeden smiles, stating a calm low no out of her throat.
The doctor continues to stare at Jaeden, a few seconds long dry, before he springs up in a sudden leap. He walks to the door and ushers Jaeden out. He repeats her name, his voice sterile. She stops and peers around to give him a glance.
"I know I may not be your designated therapist. But do know," he stops, sighing. "If you have anything to talk about that you feel you suppress inside you. Just know, I'm always here for guidance." Jaeden pinches her lips in a smile, letting out an emotional thank you. The doctor smiles at her, before shutting the door slow and soft behind her.
The loud blast of the car horn pierces through the windows. It repeats itself several times in a bursts of a few seconds. Sierra walks down the stairs and notices Jaeden curl up on the couch. She places her foot on the last step before climbing down on the floor. She strolls over to Jaeden and lays a gentle hand on her shoulder, giving her a light shake. Jaeden rolls over on her back, her eyes appearing to be glue together with a pale yellow crust, a liquid flume covering over her dark brown eyes. Her eyes flutter for a few instances talking in the shape of her mother.
"It seems like your friends finally made it," Sierra whispers. The sound of the car horn shoots out from outside as Jaeden pushes herself up on her elbows. The long ring from the last honk remains rumbling in their ears.
"Yeah," Jaeden mumbles. She swings her legs on the side of the couch, rubbing her hands through her long brown and blue dreads away from her long oval face. She pinches and massages the temple of her forehead. She peers at her mother, who continues to stand and examine her daughter. "Yeah, momma. I'm getting ready." Sierra looks at her with a wide smile as she exits out to the kitchen.
Jaeden sighs to herself. Her thoughts conjuring in her head in a whirlwind of conflicting ethos and emotions. One side where she enjoys and appreciates her friends, and family, a great deal; there her greatest muscle to her well-being and intent to proceed forward. The other side she has the tendency, more like a wish or desire, to quarantine herself from others at long stretches of time. But as her previous therapists had informed her, that is an idea that Jaeden should not put into extended practice.
Jaeden rises off the couch and stalks to the door. She peers out the small keyhole on the door, only a small fragment could she see her friends waiting for her in the old busted and worn jeep that her Stiles owns. She reaches in her pocket at the sensation of a light vibrations and pulls out her phone. A message from Kira reading, I'm sorry but I cannot go. Have fun! Jaeden sighs to herself, cramming her shoes into her old stain high-tops.
She marches herself outside, the brightness from the sun slides over her face with a mass amount of light. The cool breeze of the wind tickles her neck. She plasters on a larger than normal smile as she sees them all in the jeep. Eager but cautious grins they wear. Jaeden opens the door of the pale blue jeep, the handle of it jingles and hangs like a dangling rotten fruit from a tree. She snatches it open and slips inside. Danny slides over, allowing her to sit between him and Jackson. She squeezes herself between them.
The seat snug but still comfortable. Stiles sneaks a look at her before belting out a tune of excitement as the jeep pulls out of the driveway. It jitters and quakes for the first few miles but settles into a nice smooth drive. The silence lingers in the jeep for a moment before Stiles asks the opening question.
"So, heard Kira wasn't able to come?" Jaeden nods at his question, or his half-attempt at one. Lydia's long red hair swirls around her as she faces Stiles.
"Yeah, Allison cannot come either," She turns and looks at Jaeden with a smile, but her eyes giving off a somber stare. Jaeden smiles back, allowing Lydia to turn back around in her seat.
"Well, I guess that makes one more stop then," Stiles speaks, the buzzing from his phone interrupts him. He stops at a sign as he picks it up. "Well, never mind," he says, a slight ping of annoyance in his tone. "It looks like Scott cannot make it either." He drops the phone back down and shrugs. "It's alright, I was actually worried about having that many people in my jeep. I'm not sure old Betsy could handle it all the way to Charlotte."
The air in the jeep tightens around everyone as they all absorb Stile's statement.
"I'm sorry, did you say Charlotte?" Jackson says with a deep stern in his voice. "As in Charlotte, North Carolina?" Stiles replies with a cheerful nod of his head. His hands both on the steering wheel.
"Stiles, you do know that's like a six-hour drive from here right?" Danny informs.
"More like 7," Lydia embarks in the conversation. "With traffic, which considering it's Friday afternoon, will be plenty of."
The chatter erupts into disjointed ramblings of nerves and frustrations in the jeep. Stiles slices through all the chatter with a calm retort. That all the parents are aware of the long trip and are comfortable with the understanding of their children's responsible and mature nature.
"Stiles," Jackson groans. "I do not want to be trapped in a cramped, barely functioning car with all these people." He then turns and eyeballs everyone. "No offense, it's just seems uneasy."
Jaeden smirks at Jackson, a bond of an understanding nod between the two of them. The idea of being in a car this long does cause a series of nerves and uncomfortableness to bubble up in her chest. She sits still in almost a stiffness.
"Guys, you all worry too much. It'll be fine. Look we can drive and take turns on the way there. And play games while we're at it."
"Stiles," Jackson calls out. "None of us are in elementary school anymore. What type of 'games' are we going to play on a seven-hour car drive?" Stiles sits in silence for a moment, thinking as he maneuvers the steering wheel around in his hand.
"How about we tell scary stories to each other?" Stiles blurts out with a hint of enthusiasm. Lydia nudges him in his rib as Danny whispers to him how that may not be a good idea right now. Stiles appears confuse at first glance before shooting an apologetic stare towards Jaeden. She slumps in her seat, fidgeting with her snapback in an attempt to adjust and readjust her dreads. She judges everyone in the car with a cautious eye, noticing the tension building from Stiles suggestion. She smiles, cupping her hands in her lap.
"Actually," she starts with a few cracks in her voice. She clears her throat before continuing. "That sounds pretty legit. I wouldn't mind telling stories." There is a slight shift in the car as everyone looks around, avoiding each other's gazes.
"Alright," Lydia chirps. "But let's not tell scary stories." Stiles looks at her with a sulky look in his eyes. "It's too cliché," she shrugs. "Instead let's all take turns telling one part of a story and pass it around for the next person to begin." There's a few murmurs from the guys as they settle on Lydia's idea.
"Sounds cool," Danny smiles wide, her eyes creating a smile of their own. "But let's have it end with a happy ending.
"I guess it'll be alright," Jackson groans, leaning against the car window.
Stiles shrug as he motions for a car to pass him on the street. "Alright, I'll go first." He bellows with an eagerness of delight in his tone.
They walk into the large living area, the particles of dust from earlier disappear among the moonlight that shines through the bare windows. Stiles falls onto a couch, entrench with folds of memories old, as the dirt jumps up around him when his body lands. Jackson enters the room with Danny, a scowl on his face.
They walk over to where Stiles is, Danny slumps onto the ground in front of his feet. Jackson stares at Danny, his eyes bulge out of his eyes. He takes a seat on the couch, avoiding his gaze from Stiles. The stiffness of his body almost crumples onto the couch. Lydia enters, her long stark pink silk pajamas hangs off her small body. She sits on the ground next to Danny, resting her body against Jackson's legs, who remains stiff. Jaeden slumps into the room, wielding two bottles of wine in her hands. She stomps into the room, the impending eyes of everyone bores through her as she finds a place on the ground to sit. Lydia grabs a bottle of wine, a wide fleshy smile on her.
"Lydia," Danny jokes. "Is there a reason you brought wine on this trip?" Lydia places her tiny pink hands onto the top of the bottle. Her hands turn a dark purple, the veins in her hands twist around as she struggles open the bottle.
"I thought it would be boring without it," Lydia muses. She feels the kick from Jackson's jumpy foot. She throws the bottle into his lap. "You mind?" she demands. Jackson examines the bottle in his lap before reaching down to grasp it. His hand lands on the top, screwing off in an instant. His body loosens, juggling the bottle in one hand and the top in the other.
"How do you expect us to drink from this without any glasses?" Jackson peers down at Lydia. She slips her fingers around the bottle, claiming it for herself. She places her full lips around the opening, pouring the warm liquid down her throat. She rubs her lips together, grinning. She gives the bottle off to Danny.
"Please," she says, handing the bottle off to Danny. "Like we need glasses?" Danny grabs the bottle, rolling it under his nose. The strong scent of grapes and mango drifts through his nostrils. He places his lips onto the top of the bottle. The burning sensation of liquid flows over his tongue and down his throat. The taste of grapes and mango hidden in the liquid, revealing itself after the drink soothes itself in his stomach.
Danny smiles, adjusting his palate before passing the bottle off to Stiles who takes a long swig. Jaeden watches as the bottle passes among her friends. The image of herself flashes before her eyes, laying on the bed, blood trickles down the palm of her hands. The vision of the floor litter with clothes and books ingrain in her brain before everything becomes stark black. Jaeden feels the warm glass bottle of wine being place into her hands. She engages her eyes with the group, every face with fluster smiles glimmering. She stares at the bottle; the smell of alcohol floods her brain. She dumps the bottle back into her mouth, allowing a few droplets to fall. She slams it down on the floor, a loud bang rattles out.
"I told you didn't have to drink it if you didn't want to," Lydia apologizes. Jaeden glances at her glistening green eyes as the moonlight shines over her face. Jaeden jerks her hand, wiping the back of her hand over her mouth.
"No," Jaeden scolds. "I needed a drink." The silence sets in the group. The sounds of crickets and croaking eases it way through the holes of the wooden cabin and into their ears. They all remain quiet, inhaling the freshness of the pine air. The mumbles of nervous chatter filters through the room. Soon, it is follow with stories of childhood and laughter. The moon hangs itself high in the sky before the group finds themselves yawning with empty bottles of wine by their feet. They scramble to the rooms, flopping in the bed with sloppy incoherent giggles. They fall asleep on the cold queen beds within moments.
Jaeden 's eyes fix on the ceiling above her. The sounds of frogs and crickets lure her closer to sleep. She feels the pressure of Lydia's ample bosom presses against her bare shoulders. The heat from the alcohol begins to slip away throughout the night as she finds herself looking out the window. A smile creeps over her face which she notices in the reflection from the window as it bears back to her. The image of herself washes a calmness over her body. Her eyes flutter close; her breathing gets slow. She greets herself into a deep sleep.
The next morning, they all wake with the sun high in the sky. The clouds gone leaving gentle breezes to rustle through the trees. Lydia and Jaeden rustles out of bed, sneaking out of the room. They watch as Stiles, Danny, and Jackson remain in the bed. The rhythmic snoring echoes out. Lydia stands by the door, calling out their names in an attempt to wake them from their slumber with no success. She struts back into the room as Freddie drapes her clothes from the day before over her body.
"They're still sleep," Lydia groans. Jaeden snickers, motioning Lydia over towards her with a wave of her finger. The two saddle onto the bed, leaking a loud shaky squeak.
"So want do you want to do?" Jaeden begs. Her eyes fix on the window as she watches birds flutter and float through the air. Lydia follows her gaze through the window to Jaeden. Her hair cascades to the side, shrugging her shoulders.
"We could just go for a walk," Lydia sighs, rolling her eyes back towards the window. "I know; I remember Stiles blabbering on about how there are some great trails here."
"Are you up for a hike?" Jaeden laughs. Lydia turns back to scowl at her through her light green eyes. She pulls out a pair of black sneakers with white stripes line against the brink of her heels. Within seconds, Lydia is pulling Jaeden by her arm out into the forest.
They find a long empty trail, winding between tall majestic trees shielding them from the sun while it tries to break its long rays through the stark green leaves of the canopy. They trample through the trail, moving on the dirt path left behind that leads them deeper and deeper into the forest. The warmth of the sun begins to bellow through, marking their foreheads with small droplets of sweat. Lydia and Jaeden drop their bags onto their feet, taking out their containers, suckling their lips to allow some droplets to fall down their throats.
They continue the rest of the hike in silence, examining a few odd leaves here and there. Occasionally, a rabbit or squirrel will run past them causing them to freeze and watch it greets them before fleeing. Jaeden thinks about all that she wants to say, all that she could say. The silence defeating in her presence like a pair of strangers sizing the other up. She stops, stretching her arms up to the sky to let her fingers tickle the wind blowing overhead.
"I'm thinking I need a break," she shuffles on her feet. Lydia moves forward, finding a place on the ground while pulling out blanket to place down. She crosses her legs on the blanket, 'The girl with the dragon tattoo' sits in her lap with her eyes dancing over the pages. Jaeden sits them, her butt in the dirt hands resting on her knees while pulling them to her chest. She sneaks glances over to Lydia, intent focus on her book. "That's a great book," Lydia nods to her response, with her eyes still gallivanting over the words. "I've read it about three times." Still Lydia does nothing but nods, her eyes light up with her fingers tearing into the edges of the book.
Jaeden sits there, thinking letting her thoughts roam and leave her. How would they be if she did not go away? Would they still have this awkwardness between them? Is there awkwardness between them or is it just in her mind? She scratches her hands into her dreads, twirling them in her hands. What if she did it? The thought finally rises in her. She rubs at the scars on her arms, patting them. A slight sting dabs in them with the brief touch from her fingers. She jets up, shoving her hands into the pockets of her khaki shorts. Lydia peels her eyes away from her novel.
"You ready?" Her lips open to release the words without the expression of anything in her eyes. Jaeden nods, waiting for Lydia to shove the book and blanket back in and carry on the rest of the way. They hike more in silence, the quiver in her thighs and calves burn them up. Lydia stops, "It looks like the sun is about to set," her small fingers point at the sky. Showing the great distance, the sun travel since they left that morning.
"Yeah, I think it's time to head back." They turn in their tracks moving in the same direction that they came from, in more silence. "So, who introduce you to that novel?" Jaeden finds a hint of laughter in her voice, choking it back a little. Lydia shrugs her shoulders.
"I just found it one day and decided to start reading it. I've read the whole series about twice now."
"Yeah, someone gave it to me while in the facility and I had nothing else to do there." The laughter explodes out of her now. She finds Lydia, pacing her steps forward in complete silence without a smirk on her face. Jaeden bits down on her fingers, drawing a small amount of blood before shoving them back in her pocket. They next few steps seem to take hours. The rawness of the bottom of her feet scrap against the sole of her shoe.
"How was it in there?" Jaeden finds herself freezing, memories of that night cloud her mind. The pain leaving her while blood slips out of her wounds and her eyes roll back in her head. The flurries of red and blue lights blinding her eyes, the shouts of people in her ear while they yell out constant commands. The tears threading from her eyes, as she asks herself again for the umpteenth time. Why? Why? Why? She sees Lydia watching her with her deep ocean green eyes, her arms wrap around her in a tight embrace. Jaeden engulfs herself into Lydia's shoulders, the pour of tears slopping over her friend's tiny body. The heaves and coughs getting caught up in her throat.
"I'm sorry," Jaeden bellows out, strings of saliva cases over her mouth like spider webs. "I'm so, so sorry, I just couldn't, I just couldn't." Jaeden collapses into her, her whole body trembles against into Lydia's. Jaeden's face resting into her strawberry blonde hair, smelling the sweet honey vanilla lifting up into her nose sweeping over her like a calm breeze on a secluded beach. Lydia's hands rub up and down her back, caressing her spine.
"Don't blame yourself, please Jae," Jaeden feels her neck press against Lydia's mouth, the moist air breathing on her. "You have no idea how awful I felt since that night. I kept thinking about what I said to you. How we left things, and I feel...I felt like maybe I drove you to it." Lydia's voice breaks into fragments, echoing in and out of her throat like an off key guitar. "I'm sorry, I should have never said any of that. I don't mean any of it, I never did. I was just hurting, and I took it out on you. I've felt so horrible for that day."
"No, Lydia don't it was nothing you did. Nothing was your fault." Lydia pulls away from her their embrace, her eyes sparkle underneath her long locks with emeralds.
"You don't understand, I was upset, jealous." Her eyes fill up with tears. "I was upset that my spoiled bitchy cousin kept talking about you, constantly. And I was upset, I was jealous that you were spending more time with her than with me." Lydia's face flushes a bright red, twirling her fingers together like an imaginary ball is in her hands.
"Lydia," Jaeden beams her eyes down at her, the tension in her head evaporates like hot steam. "What you saying?"
"I'm not saying I'm in love with you that's for damn sure." Lydia wipes the tears from her eyes, combing her small hands through her hair. "I'm just saying that I'm needy and that I love you, deeply. As a friend." A light swirl pumps through Jaeden's chest. A few light tears drain down her face, hearing the words out loud cements into her brain. She folds her arms around Lydia, lifting her into the air.
"I love you too," Jaeden purrs, letting Lydia's feet flow back against the ground. "As a friend."
*PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW ON HOW I CAN MAKE THIS STORY BETTER AND TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER!*