Chapter 2

Present

"We are so proud of you, Lizzy" mom smiles, pulling me into a hug.

"We all are." I turn to face dad. "Me, your mother, and sister. Isn't that right, Delia?"

My 10-year-old sister is standing in front of him, looking more like me than I would care to admit. She beams up at me, jumping into my arms, "I screamed for you when they called your name, Ellie! Did you hear me?"

"Of course I did, Cordy!" I squeeze her tightly, using my nickname for her.

"I miss you, Ellie, it's not the same when you're not home, mom and dad…" she leans in to whisper in my ear, "they're already talking about me going to college."

I knew that it was something that they would want for her, but I hate that they are already starting to bring it up. They had pushed me into making those same decisions before I was ready, and it put me on a collision course that I might never have been on if they allowed me to be a regular teenager for a few more years.

"She's a little young for college talk, don't you think?"

"Lizzy, you should know, it's never too early," mom defends. "We started looking at programs when you were about her age."

"Had your entire future planned out," dad interjects, "and look where you are now! Even with your setbacks."

"I was about to start high school," I say, trying to keep myself calm. I take a deep breath, putting Cordy down, "she needs time to be a kid… to have a little fun."

"As I recall, Lizzy," dad's mood changes quickly, "you had plenty of fun, so much fun, in fact, that it almost ruined everything we had worked for."

"I was seventeen, not ten," I assert, stepping closer to him, "and my 'fun' didn't almost ruin anything. If you think Cordy will be in a similar situation anytime soon, then we've all got much bigger problems." I take another deep breath, "maybe it's time to tell her about my setback, and she will learn from my mistakes."

"This is not the place, Eliza," mom puts herself between us. "Your father and I just want what's best for Cordelia; you know that. We can talk about that later," she looks down at Cordy, who is watching all of us intently, "but not now. Let us take you out for dinner, please."

I nodded reluctantly. Mom's right; this isn't the time or the place.

"Later?" I look between them.

"Later."

"What about me?" Cordy chirps, looking up to me. "Don't I get a say?"

"I got you, kid." I wink and squeeze her hand. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Joe's!" she yells, and I laugh, it has been years since I'd been to Joe's. For the past two years, I practically never left campus, only visiting home during the breaks for a few days at a time, and even then, I spent most of my time studying. It was easier to stay focused on class, keep my priorities straight, as dad would say.

"Delia," dad rejoins as we walk toward the parking lot, "let Lizzy choose, this is her night. As a matter of fact, we were thinking about going to that new restaurant downtown. What do you say, Lizzy?"

"I say… Joe's!" Cordy squeals with delight. "How about Cordy and I take my car, and we'll meet you guys there? I can take her to my apartment, I'll change out of these robes, and we can meet there in about an hour?"

"Do you really think that's the best idea?" Dad says, shooting a side glance to mom then back to me. "Being alone?"

"Yeah, I think I can handle a ten-year-old for an hour," I laugh.

"Ten and a half!" she corrects.

"Excuse me, ten and a half," I bring my attention back to my parents, "and if I remember correctly, I used to be the only person in the house who could calm her down when she had her infamous temper tantrums."

"I didn't have tantrums!" Cordy pouts, walking in front of me, "I was a good baby!"

"Hate to break it to you, kid. But you had the worst fits. You grew out of them, eventually," I give her a playful wink. "Anyway, Cordy has been asking to see my apartment basically since I moved in, and this is my last chance to show her before I have to move off-campus."

Dad nods, and he and mom walk toward their car. Cordy and I head across campus to my apartment. Her sparkling eyes fill with curiosity and wonder as I explain the statues and buildings, even pointing out one of the many stray cats that I see every day.

It only takes about fifteen minutes to walk to my apartment. It's nothing fancy, just a small one-bedroom, but Cordy takes her time, studying the place. She seems fascinated by the pictures on the walls, framed photos of her and me, mom and dad, the handful of friends I have, and some art.

"Are you moving back home?" Cordy asks excitedly. "It's been so long, not since I was little!"

"You're still little, kid," I laugh.

"Really little! I never get to see you anymore Ellie," she follows me into my room.

"That's because I was working really hard at school, but now, I'll make sure that I see you more often, even if I don't move back home."

"Promise?" Cordy holds her pinky out in front of me, and I grab it with my own.

"Promise."

She smiles widely. I notice a tooth missing and laugh to myself. I watch as she grabs one of the pictures off of my nightstand and sits down on my bed. It's one of my favorite images of just the two of us. It was her first birthday; Cordy had just slammed her face into the cake, and I was laughing wildly.

"Why aren't mom or dad in this one?" she asks, gesturing towards the picture.

"Oh…" I took the frame out of her hands, studying it, "You were so cute back then," I tease. "You were so cranky that day, we'd given you all these presents, but nothing worked. Then, we put the cake in front of you, and you lit up. Mom and I were trying to help you blow out the candle, and you just threw your face into the cake. You covered your whole face, then tried to get me too. Mom was laughing so hard she had to step away. We didn't even know that dad had taken the picture until later."

"Who's that?" she points at a figure in the background, I freeze for a moment, never realizing that he was in this photo. He's slightly out of focus, but he still looks how I remember him. "He was in another picture, but when I asked mom about him, she wouldn't say anything."

"Oh, him?" I feign ignorance, knowing precisely who he is. "He's some relative on dad's side of the family, a twice-removed something or other; mom wasn't exactly a fan of him." I force a laugh. I know I can't be completely honest with her about the man in the photo, but I won't lie to her either. "He used to visit us a couple of times a year, whenever he was in town. He was crazy about you, and you were obsessed with him. Dad hated it so much," I laugh, thinking back to all the times we had seen him. "Dad thought he was getting replaced as your favorite person."

"Why don't I remember him?" she asks quietly.

"I think the last time we saw him you were only two, I remember he told dad he wanted to help pay for my college and even start a college fund for you, it caused a big fight. You were a little too small to remember him."

"What happened to him?" she looks up at me.

"I don't know, kid. We didn't hear from him again after that last visit. I think he got in some trouble with the law or something. We tried tracking him down, but nothing ever came of it."

She looks disappointed in my answer.

"I'll tell you what, in a couple of years, if you want, we'll see if we can't track him down. And I bet that we can find another, clearer picture of him somewhere," I half-lie again, knowing exactly where to find a picture of him, "Whaddya say, kid?"

"Okay." Cordy takes the photo out of my hand, and I can see she still has questions. I'm always afraid of this happening, and I'm not ready to conquer it today.

"You know why I picked that one out of the hundreds dad took that day?" She shakes her head. "That's just you and me, kid. There aren't that many of only the two of us."

She frowns and looks back down at the picture again. "What about before this one?" she asks, and I'm stunned by her question.

"Huh? What do you mean?" I'm afraid I know what she means, but I promised I wouldn't lead her down that path until we decided it was the right time.

"We did a family tree this year. They wanted pictures from when we were babies, and when I asked mom for pictures, she gave me a bunch like these. I told her my teacher wanted ones from when I was younger, but mom said she didn't know where they were. All my friends have pictures with their mommy's still in the hospital. But I don't."

"They're around the house," I stretch the truth again. "We weren't expecting you, and you took us so off-guard, our little surprise baby. It took mom and dad so long to get used to the fact they were gonna have a baby in the house again. I was gonna move out, but after you were born, I just wanted to be around you all the time. And we were all so frazzled the first few months after you were born, I don't think they even thought about picking up a camera half the time. But after your first birthday, dad couldn't put one down." I walked to my closet to get a change of clothes. "There are hundreds of them."

"Really?" she looks up at me, a smile growing. "What about you?"

"Well, good cameras were still pretty expensive when I was born, plus, you had to buy film, then get it developed, and sometimes the pictures would turn out to not even be good, or out of focus or something. Or you would have to go to a photo studio and have them professionally done, which was also expensive."

"So, they didn't take any pictures of you when you were a baby?"

"They did, I'm sure they're also hiding around the house somewhere, there's probably more than they have of you," I tease her. "I was the firstborn, after all. I think they have more videos of you, though. How about this weekend we look for them together?" she perks up at the thought, I make a mental note to let mom know what we will be looking for. "What do you think?" I asked, stepping out in a dress, and she scrunches her face. "Too formal for Joe's?"

She nods, laughing. I head back to my closet and pick a simple shirt and jeans to wear.

"Ellie, why are they so mean to you?" Cordy's tone changes when I walk out. "Mom and dad, they act like you were a bad kid."

"Cordy," I gather my thoughts and choose my words carefully. "Mom and dad had only me for seventeen years before you came along. They want what's best for me, and that means that sometimes they have to push me. It comes from a place of love, know that." I sit next to her offering a smile. "It's been like that since before you were born, they were always stricter with me than they've been with you. I may be a 'grown-up', but to them, I'm still their little girl, same goes for you, kid." I pull her into a hug. "Now, can we go to Joe's? I'm starving!"

I grab my keys and cell phone, messaging mom on our way to my car.

Me We're leaving my apt. we should be Joes in 30 mins or so

Mom Okay =)

Me One other thing… Cordy's starting to ask questions.

Mom About what?

Me Everything. I think it's time we told her.

Mom We'll discuss it later. See you soon.

I put my phone in the cup holder, frustrated by being shut down already. I know what they will say, she's too young, she won't understand, and a part of me knows they're right. I know they only want what's best, and I do too, but this is one of those days where it almost seems like it's too much.

"It's not fair! I should have a phone too! Dad says I'm too young!" Cordy gripes, pulling me out of my thoughts, "I don't need a fancy one—"

"Dad's right, you are too young." I laugh as she settles into her seat. "What do you need a phone for?"

"So my friends can call me," she argues. "I hate that they have to call the house, dad won't even let me get a phone for my room."

"I definitely gotta agree with dad on that one."

"El! You're supposed to be on my side, that's what you said earlier! Big sisters are supposed to be on the little sister's side!" She pouts in her seat and I have to suppress my laughter.

"C'mon Cordy, give me one good reason, and I'll be on your side." I wait as she struggles to come up with a reason. "You gotta boyfriend?" I drag the word out, making her blush and shake her head. "You don't need a phone yet. Can I trust you to pick out some music for us?"

She laughs and searches through the player, finally picking a song.

I've never seen a diamond in the flesh
I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies
And I'm not proud of my address, in the torn-up town
No post code envy

"And we'll never be Royals!" I chime in, looking at her with a wide smile.

"It don't run in our blood!" she joins me, laughing.

We spend the better part of the 30-minute trip to Joe's singing very loudly and badly to songs from my playlists.

We pull into the parking lot, laughing as another song finishes playing.

I spot my parents' car and pull in next to them. I can see that they are arguing. Mom's cheeks and eyes teary, and dad, he just looks angry. A kind of angry that I hadn't seen in a long time. Mom sees Cordy and me and quickly changes her expression. Dad does as well, softening his features.

"Lizzy, what took you so long?" She says, as we both leave our cars, trying to hide the fact that something is wrong.

"I said 30 minutes, right?" I look at her with confusion, "I mean, maybe it's been a little longer than that, but not much." I offer.

"We just thought… Maybe you changed your mind about coming here?" Dad looked at me, still clearly angry about something.

"No, why would I do that? Cordy? Is there any other burger place better than Joe's?" I laugh, trying to break the tension, which I could do better if I knew why they were so anxious.

"Heck, no!" she yells, "Joe's is the best!"

"What your dad is trying to say, Lizzy, is that we can go somewhere else."

"Nah, Cordy's right, and it's been too long since I've been here. I wonder if there'll be anyone here that I'll recognize," I question out loud, "Dan, Jana… some of the other staff?"

"Come on Ellie! I'm starving!" Cordy grabs my hand and starts dragging me towards the entrance.

"Cordelia! Slow down!" Dad says harshly, "The food will still be there."

"Yeah, but the faster we get there, the faster I can eat!"

I laugh at her as she pulls me inside. The place still looks the same, mostly; there are new flat screens on the walls, a fresh coat of paint, and updated furniture, but it's still Joe's.

"No fucking way," a voice yells from behind the register. Mom quickly covers Cordy's ears, who begins to laugh hysterically. "Ellie? Ellie Jameson?"

I finally see who is calling me, "Jana? Oh, my God! It's been so long!"

She pulls me for a hug. "What's it been, 5, 6 years?"

Dad places our orders as mom takes Cordy to a booth by the window. Jana looks the same, only slightly more worn than when I had last seen her.

"Before I was in school full time, something like that, yeah," I smile. "Just graduated, actually."

"Wow! Ellie! That's awesome. I'm so happy for you," she offers a sad smile, "I know it didn't look like it was gonna happen there for a while, but I'm glad you got what you wanted," she says quietly.

"Thank you. It's been tough, but it'll be worth it. What about you?" I ask as she pulls away. "How have you been?" She pulls her left hand in front of her face, showing off the diamond ring on her finger. "Oh my God, congratulations! Who's the lucky guy?"

She tells me all about her fiancé, a local boy who started working at Joe's shortly after I stopped.

"And Ellie, you'll never guess who was in here the other day."

"Who?" I ask, looking at her curiously. But before she has time to answer, a familiar voice fills the air.

Winchester.

My eyes go wide, and I start to pant. I step away from Jana, making my way towards the bathroom where I am unable to stop myself from vomiting. I'm panicking, I never expected to see him again. He had made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me. I do my best to compose myself, splashing water on my face. Why was he here after all these years? Once the color returns to my face, I return to the dining room, taking my seat next to Cordy, who has already made herself comfortable at the booth, coloring, not paying attention to anything. Mom gives me a look; we tried to warn you. I try to control my breathing as Jana delivers our food.

"So, who do we have here?" she says looking between Cordy and me.

"This is my sister, Cordy." I laugh as she barely looks up from her page, "Cordy, this is Jana."

"Of course!" she exclaims, "I can't believe I didn't put it together sooner! She's practically your twin! Except for her eyes."

"Yeah," I say nervously. "We get that a lot, I think it's just cause of the age gap."

"Odd," she looked us all in the eye, "you all have dark eyes."

"Um, yeah—well, if—both parents have the recessive trait, there's a 1 in 4 chance of the child having it," I spouted, hoping she would buy the not-technically a lie.

"I guess I should have paid more attention in Biology," she laughs "anything else I can get for y'all?"

"No, thank you, Jana," dad answers, looking relieved.

I stare down at my plate, appetite gone. I watch as Cordy scarfs her burger down and then tells an outlandish story that she insists is true. "It's a monster! It sneaks into the rooms of kids, sucks out their souls and then they die!" she says seriously. "Three kids from my school are in the hospital!"

"So, a monster is making the kids at your school sick?" Dad raises an eyebrow. "Delia, you know there's no such thing as monsters."

"It's true!" she says loudly. "It's a soul-eater!" Cordy pouts, upset that no one believes her.

"She's got a point." A familiar pair of green eyes walks towards our table, trying to appease the upset child. "It's not actually eating their souls. But the good thing is there are people like me and my brother—Ellie?"

"Dean." I wanted to die. It had been years since I had seen him, either of them. I stand up from the table, giving him an awkward hug. "You're here on business?" I ask, desperately trying to keep my cool.

"Yeah, S-Sam and I got into town a few days ago. Wow, Ellie, we didn't think we'd ever see you again, it's good to see you." He gives me a tight-lipped smile. "Sam?" he shouts. I don't know if I can do this. "Sammy…c' mere!"

I hear grumbling from a few feet away.

"Sam!" he yells. I'm gonna die of embarrassment. Cordy, none the wiser, laughs at the green-eyed man hollering. He looks down at her, "Hey princess, what's your name?" he squats down to meet her eye level.

"Delia, that's what everyone calls me, except Ellie, she calls me Cordy." Her large expressive eyes look up at him.

"Well, can I call you Cordy as well?" Dean asks, and she nods. "Well Cordy, my name is Dean, and I know Ellie from a long time ago." He leans in and lowers his voice, "Me and my brother, we take care of monsters. So I don't want you to worry about that anymore, okay?" She happily nods as he turns away. "SAM!"

"Dude, I was on the phone with the hosp—" Sam stops dead in his tracks 3 feet from our table. "Ella," he gasps.

"Hey, Sam," I somehow muster, "been a long time."

"Y-yeah," I can see the wheels turning in his head, "about 10 y-years?"

I turn to my parents, whose faces are showing an array of emotions. Some that don't even make sense to me.

"About." I glance down at Cordy, blissfully unaware of what was happening around her, and back up to him. "Right after graduation," I mutter.

Somehow, he's taller than I remember. I rarely thought about him, mostly because of the pain and anger it would bring.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He drags his hand through his hair. "I- I can't believe you still live here. I thought for sure you were leaving." There's a bitterness in his tone that I can tell he's trying to cover-up. "You'd always said…"

"I'm just visiting. We're just here celebrating. Cordy insisted."

"Cordy?" He notices the little girl at the table. "Who—?"

"Cordy," I say, grabbing her attention. "I want you to meet someone." My eyes fall onto my parents' faces, which now have nothing but sheer panic written all over them. Cordy places her crayons down and gives a dramatic sigh. I move to the side, allowing her to stand in front of me but facing the brothers.

"Cordy, this is Sam, this is Dean's brother, he helps him hunt monsters." I look at Sam, who seems confused. "Sam, this is Cordelia."

"Ellie!" she whines playfully, "don't tell him my whole name! I don't tell people your whole name!"

"I know how you feel." He crouches down to meet her. "I don't like when people use my whole name either. If you want, you can call me Sammy."

"Wow," Dean whispers from behind him. He always hated being called Sammy by anyone other than Dean. "That is an honor, Cordy."

"Your eyes look like mine," she giggles. "Even the green specks!"

I watch as a variety of emotions play on Sam's face.

"Y-yeah," his smile fades, and his eyes fill with confusion and panic, "they're the same."