Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer solely owns Twilight. I am just her newbie fan who wants to write. Enjoy! Not Beta'ed :)
Chapter 1
"Unseen connection can turn one's world upside down"
Melancholia
This is the end, yes it is!
Looking at those whom I may miss
I stood still, my eyes bigger
I felt my pains, like fire like dagger
As I look tears fell down
Tracing their ways on my cheeks
As I remember, I frowned, I smirked
Remembering feelings and mem'ries that sticks
Companion, it's true I have none
My friends, they were all gone
I cannot breathe and cannot speak
Yes, I'm helpless, Yes I'm weak...
Through my eyes, life appears like a series of ill-fated and unfair events and circumstances. It was never more than a cycle of waking up, working on one's chores and resting at night. It seems like for twenty-six years of my existence in this world, I am still not able to find the meaning of happiness in life but I still wish to at least feel it even for a short limited time.
My days are most of the time not exciting. I have been living all my life in the quiet town of Forks in Washington. I go to work in a small private school in the next town. I teach elementary pupils. I prepare lessons and materials and enter my class according to my schedule to teach small kids who have very much little idea of the reality of the world.
"Good morning Ms. Swan!" I was greeted loudly by my boisterous fourth grade pupils.
"Good morning" I greeted them back just like the usual.
"Please, bring out your homework for Science", I said as I was erasing the writings on the board obviously done by some pupils who got in before me.
"Ms. Swan, how's your weekend?" asked by Jessica, one of my pupils, trying to obviously divert my attention probably because she has unfinished or has no homework at all.
"Jessica, please, I know that tactic already. We are checking the homework, now. You were supposed to do that last Thursday and class was cancelled last Friday due to very heavy rains. Okay?" I said as softly as possible so as not to offend the kid but also show them firmness on my side.
"Okay" she said in almost a whisper.
My day goes like that. I enter a class. I teach concepts of different subjects and try to deal with the pupils and then go back to the faculty room to work again on the paper works and then go home by five.
Most of my friends call me "an old soul". It is probably a lighter, more decent term for being a nerd and a boring person.
"Hey Bella, we are planning to go out to the square tonight. Come with us?" Angela said as I prepare my things to go home.
"Oh, sorry Ang. I'm quite tired and I really need to rest. Promise I'll come next time", I tried to sound apologetic as possible to convince them. However, actually I think they just invite me as friends. They know that I go out with them as often as the blue moon.
"Okay, rest well. See you tomorrow tired girl" she waved at me while I exit the door.
It was just around 10 to 15 minutes ride from work to my home. After some minutes of driving, I am now at home. Home is a place where I live alone.
My mom was needed to take care of my grandparents in Seattle and together with my Dad they decided that we should just live there and manage the small land owned by my grandparents. But, after thinking it through I told them that I'd stay because I can handle myself and I don't want fix everything again in my life. The plan to transfer makes me tired already, how much more the process. After several weeks of trying, I was able to convince them. Now, they are living in the mentioned place together with my brother. And, I am trying to build my life here, trying to step forward rather than backwards.
"Whew," I breathed heavily after putting down my bags on the sofa.
I quickly freshened up so I can rest after dinner. I am serious about resting because I feel exhausted. I enjoy the peace at home but sometimes, the peace becomes the feeling of emptiness.
After eating a simple dinner of rice and chicken stew, I sat down on the sofa, turned on the TV, and tried to watch any program but nothing caught my attention. The feeling of exhaustion is now somehow replaced with restlessness. I stood up, went out to see the dark starry night, and walked slowly to a chapel near home.
This is where I go to when I needed to rest my mind. The small chapel is dimly lit at the altar and no other lights can be seen around it. It was surrounded by grass, trees, and some houses, but you cannot hear any noise when seated on a chair at the gates. Dim place, chilly blowing air, clear starry night; perfect for me to relax. I closed my eyes and tried to relax my senses for I find peace in this kind of setting. After several minutes, I cannot help myself but to open my eyes for I feel that I am being watched.
I looked around for any person, perhaps a stray dog, or a cat, until my eyes lingered on an outline of a person beside the big old tree on the right side of the chapel. Trying to adjust my eyesight, I can see that the outline is moving. And it is moving towards me. I tried to prepare myself and anticipate the move of the coming person.
The person stopped around a few meters from me and spoke in a serene silvery voice that seems like perfect sound for a lullaby. He was a man. I cannot see his face much because of the dim light and his distance from me. Though, I can see that he is a little bit taller than me. He is only wearing a tight fitting white shirt, shorts and rubber shoes like he just finished running and I can also see that he is not too muscular but not so lean. Looking at him gives me a clue on what to do in case this man attacks me.
"A woman should not be out alone in a place like this, at a time like this. Do you know that?" he said emphasizing sarcasm at the last sentence.
"Oh! I'm sorry but I've been doing this for years whenever I need peace and I don't remember being harmed ever." I stated back to point out that I am not weak just like what he is trying to say.
"So you are waiting to be harmed?" his answer is dripping with sarcasm.
"You know what? I am trying to relax here but I believe my night is already ruined. Thanks to you, whoever you are." I spat back as I stand up and start my way home.
"I'm Edward and you're welcome" he answered back as if he won a round of discussion.
"Whatever" I said to myself.
Upon reaching home, I locked the gate and the door and entered my room. When my head hit my pillow, my mind started to play the serene silvery voice in my head. I did not feel much irritation to him but to myself. I cannot help but wonder: who is he?
The voice played in my mind and just like a lullaby to me, I fell asleep hearing it from my head.
5:40 a.m. Tuesday
I always wake up before my alarm. I just put an alarm in case my mind forgets to wake me up which hardly does not happen. I always do things a little bit ahead of time, okay, sometimes, way ahead of time. That is me. I plan for I never want to be caught unprepared.
Just as I was making my coffee, the event last night again played in my mind. I can still hear his sarcastic comments wrapped in his silvery voice. I can hear his voice that lulled me to sleep. I closed my eyes to make my mind work and picture him more until I realized that I look like a crazy woman.
"Stop this stupidity, Isabella" telling myself to end thinking about "Edward. But, it seems that fate has a different plan.
The day again ended like a blur. It is like a recorded set of events played every day. Standing in front of kids, blurting out facts, making them work on activities, going home, resting and then wake up to do another set. But, after last night there are some points in my day where my mind would fly out back to the man who insisted that I should go back home. My mind is like continuously falling into a black hole and transporting me back to the chapel last night. However, my logical part is also continuously pulling me back to the reality and slapping my illogical part to stop imagining this.
"My goodness Bella, you just met the man once. You bantered with him for insinuating that you are stupid yet you are repeating such imagination about him. You are losing your mind. Stop this!" I told to myself.
How can one person whom I talked for less than 5 minutes affect me this much. I hate this part of me. This is very far from my usual self; I do not like this at all. But, part of me is whispering that change is not always bad.