THREE

There was one other thing that happened in that first year I was at Shinra that had an impact on me, though not in any direct way. But it's something I've never forgotten, a memory that's stayed inside my mind all these years. Maybe what happened was just random chance, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've never been able to figure it out because it was a moment that left me with more questions than answers. And now, in this strange, dark place between life and death, I still haven't. Maybe, if I ever wake up, I'll find out someday.

Anyway, it was early fall, just over eleven months after I had begun working at Shinra. My two jobs kept me busy, but even so, I had heard rumors about troubles within SOLDIER and talk of battles going on all around the world. I didn't know much about it myself, though. I knew a little about SOLDIER, of course—they were Shinra's best fighters and were highly skilled in battle. What I didn't know back then was exactly how they got so good. I had assumed it just came from lots of training and hard work, but I had no idea how ugly the truth really was. I found out much later on, though.

I was downstairs on the third floor one day, spending what was left of my lunch hour lovingly admiring the new Hardy HD-91 motorcycle that had replaced the old HD-90 I had seen on display when I had first started working here. It looked mostly the same as the old one, but the exhaust pipes were slightly bigger and it had a more powerful engine. I think the handlebars may have been higher as well.

In my hands, I held a large binder filled with all kinds of sketches I had made for Scarlet, weapons we were designing together. It certainly wasn't easy working with her, and her criticisms were about as blunt as a nail bat. She had an unforgiving, brutal personality, and I had quickly learned to develop a thick skin around her. But I was also learning a lot by being there. I knew more about how materia formation worked and about the design specs on all of Shinra's current weapons as well as the ones we were currently developing.

I was due back in Scarlet's office for a meeting in ten minutes, and she absolutely hated it if I was late by even a few seconds. I had learned very fast how brutally she enforced punctuality in her division. A week or so after I had begun working there, I saw her walk over and slap one of the lab techs across the face just for starting his shift a minute late. I wasn't going to let that happen to me, and I didn't doubt it would if she ever saw me not coming in on time.

There was a soft flutter of movement, and I looked up from where I had been kneeling to get a better view of the bike's front wheel to see Cait sitting sideways on the leather seat, his legs swinging over the side like they often did when he was at my desk in SO. He never showed up when I was working in Scarlet's division, but I hadn't expected him to. I was sure he still had ways to keep an eye on me while I was working in there, though. I had learned over the past year that Cait excelled at not being seen and could sneak into any place in the building he wanted. It both amused me and comforted me to know he was always around if I ever needed him. And through him, Reeve.

I stood up. "Hi, Cait. What are you doing here?"

"I just came by tae say hello, Jessica," he replied. "Seems ye've been doin' well fer Scarlet so far."

"I figured you were keeping tabs on me," I smirked.

Cait chuckled. "Aye, I am. I just worry about ye, lassie. But ye seem alright enough. So ye like bikes, eh?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I hope to have one myself someday."

"That be a nice dream. I could tell ye yer fortune if ye want tae see if it's in yer future."

"Thanks," I laughed, "but I think—"

I abruptly cut myself off when I heard one of the elevators chiming behind me, and I turned around to see who would be coming out of it, more out of curiosity than anything else. The doors for the far elevator slid open, and my eyes widened to the size of dinner plates when I saw who it was. I couldn't even move, and my mouth just hung open like it had become unhinged.

A man strode calmly out onto the third floor, but not just any man. Tall, so incredibly tall, with piercing green eyes and eerie, slitted pupils. Flowing silver hair so long it fell past his waist. A leather cloak so black it looked like a patch of midnight that had somehow been made real. I shivered, hardly able to believe what I was seeing.

"Is that…?" I whispered to Cait.

He leaned close to my ear. "Aye, lass. That's him. Sephiroth. I heard he's leaving on a mission. But I cannae say where. It's top secret. Even I don't know all the details."

A soldier walked out of the elevator after him, clad as they usually were in blue and with one of those weird helmets on his head that hid most of his face besides his mouth and nose. Sephiroth glanced at him once, then sighed. "Where's the other one?"

"Um, he'll be here in just a minute, sir," the soldier replied. "Zack's already downstairs in the lobby."

"Fine. But we're not waiting long. Go on."

As the soldier hurried off down the stairs, my watch beeped and I looked down to check the time. "Oh, no! I've got to be back upstairs in less than five minutes! Bye, Cait!"

"See ya, lassie," he said. "Take care!"

I hurried toward the nearest elevator, my binder in my hands, and Cait disappeared up into an air vent in the ceiling with hardly a sound. I had almost reached the elevator when the doors suddenly opened on their own and another helmeted soldier bolted out. He must have been the one who was late, and I gasped when I saw him and realized he was running right at me. I was rushing toward him as well because I was so afraid of being late for work and getting slapped by Scarlet that I hadn't bothered to pay attention to what I was doing.

Neither of us could possibly slow down or move aside in time, and my eyes widened again as I understood what was about to happen and saw his own mouth drop open as well. We collided a second later with a muffled thump, and I let out a startled shriek as I fell flat on my back and my binder flew out of my hands and landed near the stairs. Papers scattered to the floor all around us, and the poor soldier landed on his back as well, as flustered and surprised as I was.

For a moment, I just lay there, panting and trying my best to catch my breath. Then, as I struggled to sit up, a shadow fell over me. My jaw fell open when I looked up, and my voice just seemed to run away and hide. A gloved hand pulled me to my feet with inhuman strength as if I were just a feather, and suddenly I was face-to-face with the man in the black cloak himself—Sephiroth.

I had to crane my neck up to look at him, he was so tall. I felt small and insignificant next him, just some stupid whimpering girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. When Sephiroth finally let go of me, I winced and rubbed my wrist. It really hurt, though I was sure he hadn't meant for it to. I didn't think he could help it. Swallowing, I took a breath and met his cold gaze.

"U-Um, thank you, s-sir…" I stammered.

Sephiroth didn't answer me but turned to the other soldier instead, who was still on his back. "See to the lady. And clean this up."

"Y-Yes, sir," the soldier replied.

Then Sephiroth was gone, and I could breathe again. As I heard his footsteps echoing down the stairs, I bent over and let out a long, shaky breath as I tried to take in everything that had just happened. I found I was trembling like a newborn chocobo, and my mind was just a jumble of thoughts as scattered as the papers laying everywhere. As I fought to slow my pounding heart, I shook my head helplessly.

"Mom and Reeve are never gonna believe this…" I breathed.

A voice sounded nearby. It was the soldier. "Um, ma'am? Sorry for all this. Let me help you pick these up."

I laughed when I heard him. I had never been called ma'am before, and I didn't think I was any older than the soldier himself. He actually seemed pretty young, now that I thought about it. But I felt better now, more like myself. I knelt next to him and started gathering my sketches along with my binder. As I did, I glanced at the soldier.

"It's alright," I smiled. "It was as much my fault as yours."

He handed me some papers. "Well, um… thanks."

I took them and stuck them back in the binder. But when I looked at the soldier again, I noticed something odd. I put a hand on his arm. "Are you feeling okay? You look a little green."

"I'll be alright. I had to stop in the bathroom on the way here. You see, we've got a long truck ride ahead of us, and I get motion sickness. I think my body was just anticipating it."

"Can I get you anything?" I asked, feeling bad for him. "The shop's right downstairs on the second floor."

He shook his head. "Thanks, but I'm okay."

A few moments later, we both stood up, and he gave me the rest of the papers. I took them and put them back in my binder along with the ones I had collected, then I glanced back at the soldier again. I wished I could see the rest of his face. He seemed so nice and a bit awkward in a cute sort of way. And his voice actually sounded pretty sexy, now that I thought about it. Too bad those helmets hid so much. I wondered what his eyes were like, what color they were. Blue was my favorite, so bright and deep. Like rolling waves in the ocean.

The tromping of booted footsteps coming up the stairs brought me out of my thoughts, and the soldier and I both turned to look at the far staircase, where a man peeked out from around the corner and waved. He looked at us with a pair of bright blue eyes, and he had spiked black hair that fell past his shoulders. But I couldn't see much else aside from the bare, muscled arm he waved at us with, a part of a black tunic, and a large sword hilt sticking up behind him. Huge would have been more like it, actually. I could just make out a bit of the blade as it hung down, and as wide as it was, it had to be pretty big.

"Come on, buddy!" the guy grinned. "We better get goin'!"

The young soldier looked over at him. "I'm coming, Zack. Just had to help the girl, um, pick up her stuff."

Zack laughed. "Ah, don't sweat it. I'd be late too if it meant I'd get to help out a pretty lady like her."

I blushed and adjusted my glasses. "I… well, um, thank you."

"Don't mention it," he winked, then he glanced back at the soldier. "You ready? Everyone else is already in the truck."

"Yeah, let's go," the soldier replied.

As he started to walk away, I took a few steps after him. "Um, good luck on your mission. Be careful out there, okay?"

"Thanks, miss. I will."

"And I, uh… I work on the, um… 30th floor," I told him, a horde of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. "S-Systems Operation. If you ever, um… want to come see me…"

He nodded. "I… I'll remember that."

As they disappeared around the corner and hurried back down the stairs, I went over to the low wall overlooking the second floor to listen as they talked, my heart pounding. I just loved that soldier's voice, and it was with a start that I realized he and Zack were talking about me as they left. I strained my ears to hear them.

"You know," Zack said. "I think that girl really digs you, buddy."

I giggled. He wasn't wrong. Then the soldier replied with that soft, shy but sexy voice of his. "I don't know…"

"Sure she does! She's cute, don't you think?"

My cheeks reddened, and I couldn't resist a giddy little smile when I heard the young soldier's answer. "I… well, yeah. She is."

Zack chuckled. "Of course! So when we get back, you oughta look her up, ask her out to dinner or something."

Oh, definitely! Please do!

"Maybe…" the soldier said. "But I…"

I wasn't able to make out the rest because by then, he and Zack had moved too far away for me to hear them anymore. I sighed longingly at the thought of having a dinner date with that nice, bashful soldier with the sexy voice as I sat on the floor, my back to the low wall. I wondered when he would be back and hoped it would be soon. And then I nearly kicked myself when I realized I hadn't told him my name. But he knew how and where to find me, at least.

Maybe next week then, depending on how long his mission took. I had heard the hesitation in his voice and figured Zack would probably have to coax him into asking me out, but that was alright. I didn't mind the soldier's shyness. It was sweet and honest. Even if he stammered his way through the invitation, I would accept it happily. There were some nice restaurants in the area, and I was sure we would both start to relax once we got to know each other a little. And maybe we would close out the evening with a nice kiss or two.

I glanced down at my watch for a moment, my thoughts warm and hopeful and filled with all sorts of romantic possibilities for me and the young soldier, and froze when I saw the time. For a moment I couldn't even move, hardly able to believe what I was seeing. I wasn't just late. I was very late for my meeting. Incredibly late.

"Oh, shit!" I shot to my feet, my heart hammering against my ribs. "Twenty minutes!? I'm dead! I am so dead!"

I ran for the elevator, all thoughts of dates and cute young soldiers forgotten in my near panic. After slapping the button, I waited for what seemed like an eternity for the doors to open. When they finally did, I darted inside and hit the button for the 58th floor. How could I have let this happen? Scarlet was going to kill me!

She was waiting for me as soon as I stepped out of the elevator, and I knew I was in for it. Scarlet had her arms folded in front her, and her pale blue eyes glared at me. She must have heard the chime and gotten up from her seat as the doors were opening. The division was, as usual, a bustle of activity full of lab techs and soldiers, but I wasn't paying any attention to it at the moment.

Scarlet pointed to a nearby glass door. "My office. Now."

I followed her, more than a little nervous, and swallowed heavily as we walked into her office and she closed the door behind us. Then she simply stood there in front of her desk, a thing of polished black wood with a large, red leather seat behind it.

"Well?" she demanded.

I just wilted under that stare. "I… I'm sorry, I…"

"Spit it out, girl," Scarlet hissed. "We had a meeting scheduled. And I don't like to be kept waiting."

Unsteadily, I told her what had happened downstairs. About how I had been knocked down while trying to reach the elevator and how the man who had pulled me up had been no less than Sephiroth himself. I explained how I had watched him walk downstairs and that the young soldier had stayed behind to help clean up the papers. But I didn't dare say a word about my clumsy attempt at flirting with him and how I had eavesdropped on his conversation with Zack.

Scarlet sniffed. "Hmph! Pathetic…"

I sighed. "I… I'm really sorry, Director."

Wincing in anticipation, I braced myself for the inevitable slap. But it never came. I couldn't believe it, but as I slowly started to relax, I saw that Scarlet hadn't moved an inch. She just eyed me coldly, and I wasn't sure what to expect. But as we stood there and time went from seconds to minutes without her saying or doing anything, I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

Then she did speak. "I think we can let it go, girl. This time. But if it happens again…"

"It won't," I promised. "I'll make sure of that."

She nodded. "See that it doesn't."

I managed a shaky laugh and sighed in relief. "You know, Director, for a moment there, I really thought—"

Scarlet's hand shot out so fast I barely saw it, and the next moment, my cheek was stinging as if it had been set on fire. My head whipped to the side, and I let out a startled gasp of shock and pain as my hand flew up to touch my face where she had slapped me. I stared at Scarlet, hurt and confused and a little angry all at once. Hadn't she just said she was letting it go? What was she doing?

"On the other hand," she walked up to me, grabbed me by the jaw, and yanked me toward her until she was right in my face, "perhaps you do need a reminder of what happens when you step out of line, Jessica. I trust you won't ignore it."

"N-No, Director. I won't!"

She let go, and I staggered back a few steps, rubbing my chin where it ached. "Now then, you were supposed to be making a presentation to me, girl. This new automatic sentry you've been designing lately—what was it you called it again?"

I flipped open my binder. "A hell house, ma'am."

"Not bad," Scarlet shrugged. "Go on."

I laid my binder flat on her desk and turned the pages until I came to the sketch of my new sentry. "We've gotten reports that the monsters in the slums tend to ambush people traveling in between sectors rather than hitting the more populated areas. They also seem to lurk near old ruined shacks and buildings along the way."

"Yes, I've read those reports," Scarlet agreed.

"Well, since monsters like whole eaters tend to gather in places like that a lot, I came up with the hell house as a way of taking advantage of that. When it's not active, the house looks just like any other small shed you might see in the area. People would be able to walk right by it, and they'd never know it was a weapon."

Scarlet nodded. "Camouflage. I think I see where you're going."

I smiled, growing excited in spite of the harsh punishment she had given me for being late. "Exactly! The hell house would be harmless to humans, but when it detects monsters within its sensor radius, it would spring out and attack! It'll carry a supply of missiles on board as well as flame jets, and it would be able to punch the monsters and crush them with a leaping strike as well."

Like I mentioned before, I enjoyed creating all kinds of strange and outlandish weapon designs, and the hell house was one of my favorites. I had spent a lot of time on it, tweaking it and drawing several different concept sketches for it in both of its forms with carefully written notes about its specs and what it could do. I had developed it to help people, to destroy the monsters that were hurting them.

I just never thought it would become a monster itself.

Something I should have remembered is that anything that can be programmed can also be reprogrammed. And the hell house was. But I never found out until much later. Like a lot of my designs, Scarlet took it and twisted it into a horrible tool of death and destruction. Why did I ever trust her? I should have listened to Mom and Reeve. I'd even said that I would. But I didn't. I was so eager to bring my creations to life, to live out my dreams, that I completely ignored the small voice inside me telling me to be wary and watchful. Until it was too late. So much pain and death to so many people over these last few years, all because I had put my desires ahead of my better judgment.

"It's an intriguing concept," Scarlet mused, tapping the page. "Have a complete schematic ready on my desk first thing tomorrow morning. Then we'll see about building and deploying a few prototypes over the next few weeks. Understood?"

I grinned. "Yes, ma'am! Thank you!"

"Now go get back to work, Jessica. We're finished here."

Closing my binder, I hurried out of Scarlet's office and went to my drafting table in a corner of the main room. Although it sometimes got a little noisy when there was a lot of testing going on, I was usually still able to concentrate on what I was doing, and while there wasn't a door in my little alcove, the walls did give me some privacy. I sat down, took out some blank paper and a pen, opened my binder to the drawings of the hell house, and got started on those schematics.

A week later, I sat at my desk in SO, excited and a little nervous as I worked. I had figured that my shy, sexy soldier had come back from his mission by now, and I kept hoping and expecting to see him walk into my cubicle, take off his helmet, show me his eyes, and ask me out. And I was going to tell him yes and that I'd love to.

But he never did.

At first, I kept my hopes up, thinking that the mission he had gone on had just taken longer than I had thought. But after one week turned into two and then three, I guessed he must have either forgotten about me or decided not to ask me to dinner after all. Maybe his bashfulness had gotten the better of him.

I would have gone to look for him myself, but I had no idea where he was stationed at or how to find him. There were lots of soldiers just like him throughout the building, and whenever I happened to be near any of them, I stopped and listened to their voices, hoping to hear that lovely murmur again and see him. But I never found him. Not once. So I went back to work disappointed and a little sad.

It was almost a month after my encounter with that bashful young soldier that Reeve gave me the news. I was busy working at my desk in SO on a new project Marissa had assigned to me and had finally begun to let go of my little crush and move on when Reeve walked in. I knew right away something was wrong.

He would come down here once in a while to chat with everybody and see how we were doing, but when I looked at him, I could tell right away that this wasn't one of those times. He had come here specifically to see me. Reeve just stood there for a moment, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Then he sat on the edge of my desk like Cait so often did, and I turned in my chair to face him.

"What is it, Reeve?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

He sighed. "I have some news about that mission you were asking me about, the one that Sephiroth and another 1st Class SOLDIER went on last month along with a few guards. And… I'm afraid it isn't good. I wanted to tell you myself rather than have Cait do it."

I stared at him, my stomach in knots. "What happened? Where did they go? Are they alright?"

"They went to a small town far away to the west, someplace called Nibelheim. What the mission was, I don't know. Something to do with a faulty mako reactor. But that's all I can tell you. At first, all went well. But after a week, we lost contact with Sephiroth and his group. We still don't know what happened or why. And now…"

"What, Reeve?" I prodded him. "Please, tell me!"

His eyes met mine. "They've been listed as killed in action, Jessica. All of them. The entire team."

My hands flew to my mouth. "No! It can't be!"

"I'm sorry, but it is. Cait mentioned that you'd taken a liking to one of the soldiers who went on that mission."

"Yeah," I said. "We kind of ran into each other before he left."

Reeve put his hand on my shoulder. "I wish I had better news. But I thought you'd want to know."

I nodded. "Thank you for telling me, Reeve."

"You're welcome. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I just… I think I'd like to be alone now," I murmured. "If you don't mind. Is that alright?"

He gave me a gentle smile. "Of course."

As he got up to leave, I pulled off my glasses and just sat there with them in my lap. "I never even knew his name…"

"I could try to find out what it was for you, if you'd like."

"No, but thank you, anyway," I shook my head. "It's not as if I knew him very well. We only talked that one time. I just hoped that when he came back, he'd come to see me, and well… things would have gone on from there. Nice things, you know?"

Reeve laughed softly. "I know. I'm sure they would have."

"I think so, too," I agreed. "He was really nice…"

"Well, I'll be going now, Jessica. But if you need anything, anything at all, you know where to find me."

As he started to walk away, a disturbing thought suddenly came to me, and I called out after him. "Reeve… you said Sephiroth was killed, too. But how could anything do that do him? He's really strong, or he's supposed to be, anyway. I don't understand."

"Neither do I," Reeve frowned.

"What do you think happened out there?" I wondered.

He frowned. "More than I've been told, no doubt."

"My father, the president, and the other directors, they keep things from you?" I asked, not entirely surprised.

"Yes. But it's nothing for you to worry about."

Reeve left after that, and I was alone. I just sat there for a while and thought about everything he had told me. The mystery about what had happened to Sephiroth and his team on that mission bothered me, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I still don't know the truth, and I guess it's possible I never will. Some questions never get answered. And I had other things on my mind as well.

My heart ached knowing my sweet, shy soldier was dead. Though I took comfort in the fact that he hadn't rejected me after all, I still cried a little. For him, for the missed opportunity between us, even for Zack. He hadn't seemed like such a bad guy, at least from the little bit I'd seen of him, and if he'd had a girlfriend, that might have made a fun double date with me and my young soldier.

But things hadn't worked out that way. I never forgot that meeting, though. Not even years later. That soldier with the sexy voice still had a little place in my heart, and I never forgot him. And that big sword that Zack had, it reminds me a lot of Cloud's. Is it the same? I don't know. I only saw part of Zack's, so I can't be sure, but they seem a lot alike. If it is the same sword, how did Cloud get it?

He didn't go with Zack on that mission, at least not that I know of. I had considered asking Cloud about it but had ultimately decided not to because I didn't know for sure if I was remembering right. And even if I was, I couldn't be certain it was the same sword. So I had kept quiet about it. Yet another mystery for me to unravel. Maybe, in time. But as for that day, I sighed, wiped my eyes, put my glasses back on, and went back to work. I didn't stop thinking about my sweet, shy soldier for the rest of the day, though. Not once.