Sam POV

I watch helplessly as Ella disappears back into her apartment. I'm still trying to piece everything together; it all escalated so quickly. Something in me snapped when I saw the picture of dad and Corie. I never thought he'd keep something this big from me.

"Dean, that's my kid up there. And I'm not leaving here without her, without Ella," I argue as I make my way towards the entrance of the apartment building. She can't keep me away. I need them with me; I don't want to lose a second more with them.

Dean blocks my path as I try to enter the building. "Yes, you are Sam," his hand pushes against my chest. "You need to give her space."

"They're not safe, Dean, don't you see that? They need to come with us. I can protect them." I try to move around him, but Dean holds his ground in front of me. I can feel the anger rising again. "You- you're being just like dad, trying to control me! He kept me away from my daughter for over 10 years, and I'm not gonna let you do the same! I won't let you keep them from me. They belong with me!"

"Sam, do you hear yourself? This is what Ellie was talking about. You can't expect her to drop this bomb on her kid- "

"My kid."

"No, Sam," Dean says firmly. "Right now, Cordy's not your kid. If you want her to be your kid, then you gotta start acting like her parent, not some possessive asshole, and put her needs above your own."

"Ella thinks I abandoned them." I try to maneuver around him, but it's like he can predict my moves.

"It's different this time, Sam. Ellie told me she doesn't want you to go. She wants you to be a part of her life, of Cordy's. But man, you can keep denying it all you want, but these Trials, they're changing you. You left her arm all bruised up, and you don't even seem to care."

"I'm going up there, Dean, and you can't stop me. I need them- " It takes me a minute to catch up to what Dean just said. My eyes go wide at the revelation. "Wait, I hurt her?"

I stumble back towards the parking lot as it all comes flooding back to me, my hands gripped tight around Ella's wrist, her demanding that I let go of her, the fear she tried to hide behind her instinct to protect Corie. When I reach the Impala, I collapse against it, replaying the whole night again in my head.

"Sammy," Dean's hand lands on my shoulder, offering support. "She knows it wasn't intentional, but it doesn't change the fact that you took your anger at dad out on her." He takes a deep breath. "All the crap with dad, you gotta let it go- "

"Let it go?" I scoff as I rise back up on my feet. "Even after all these years, you're still making excuses for him. You want me to just 'forgive and forget'? I can't do that."

"All I'm sayin' is," Dean runs his hands over his face, "you're pissed at dad, and I get it. I saw the picture, and believe me, if he were still alive, I'd probably want to take a swing at him too. Dad's the one who decided to lie to you and Ellie. It's not her fault."

"I don't want to lose her again, Dean. Either of them. All I've been able to think about since I found out about them is that something will find them and hurt them. I can't let that happen. I'm staying," I argue as I begin walking back towards the apartment building. "Fuck the Trials; I'm done. Ella and Corie, they're more important."

"Sammy," Dean's in front of me again, hindering my movements. "Kevin said that the only way you're going to get better is by finishing the Trials. You want to keep them safe? Shutting the gates of hell will do that."

"I can't leave them, Dean. Not again."

"Ellie's right, Sam. You two- you need some space. You've both been through a lot over the last week, and you need time to process. You've got to think about Cordy, Sam. You want to be her parent? Then respect Ellie's wishes and stay away- " I open my mouth to protest, but Dean continues, "for now. And when the trials are over, and Ellie is ready, we'll find a way to make it work." I nod my head, knowing he's right. "Now, do I need to call Cas, or are you going to get in the car willingly?"

I glance back up to Ella's balcony, hoping that she'll come back out. I just want to see her one more time. When she doesn't appear, I let Dean walk me back to the Impala. He opens the door and then reaches into his pocket, handing me two photos and a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. "Ellie wanted you to have these."

I immediately recognize the images, the first is from Corie's last birthday, Ella's got her arms wrapped around her, and the other is from the day Corie was born. My heart swells as I look down at the picture of my newborn daughter. Ella's right, I'm the one who chose to leave. Dad said she didn't want to see me again, and I just believed him. I left without a word to her. I just got in the car and drove straight to Palo Alto. The roar of the engine fills the silence that's settled around me. I unfold the paper, revealing a phone number. I assume it's Ella's, and Dean confirms it as he looks over at me.

"I gave Ellie all of our numbers," Dean tells me as we exit the parking lot. "She can stay in touch if she wants to," Dean looks back at the picture, "I hate to sound like a broken record, man, but just give her time."

I pull my phone out, programming Ella's number before opening an empty message. My fingers hover over the screen, unsure of where to even start. There's so much I want to say to her, to both of them, but I know it isn't the type of thing to send in a text. As her building disappears from my view, I quickly type out three short messages and wait anxiously for Ella's response, praying that she'll forgive me.

Ellie POV

Cordy carefully grabs the picture out of my hands. I watch her study it for a moment before finding the right words.

"Sam and I, we…" I struggle as she looks back up, questions written all over her face. "We were young and in love. We were making plans for our future, and when I found out I was pregnant with you, it took us both by surprise."

"You didn't want me?" Her voice cracks slightly, and my heart breaks.

"It's not that, kid." I return to my seat next to her and wrap my arms around her. "We both wanted you more than anything. You may not have been planned, but don't think for a second that means you weren't loved from the minute we decided to keep you."

"But you let mom and dad-"

"It's complicated, Cordy." I sigh, I'm not prepared for any of this. "Mom and dad- they were upset with me when they found out I was pregnant." That's an understatement. "Dad didn't like Sam, and he told him things that weren't true, and Sam's dad told me something about him that really hurt my feelings." Part of me thinks I should be more specific, but I shake the thought out of my head. She doesn't need to know that her grandparents never wanted her around in the first place; that they had lied and manipulated Sam and me into believing awful things about each other.

"Sam left for college, and I went to South Dakota to have you. When we saw each other at Joe's, it was the first time we'd talked since I told him I was pregnant. When I met him before the accident? That was when he found out that I had you." Cordy puts the picture down before grabbing another one.

"Is he going to replace dad?" Cordy whispers.

"Sam's your biological father, but that doesn't mean dad wasn't your dad. And if you're not ready to know Sam in that way, all you have to do is tell me. I'm not gonna force Sam into your life. You're old enough to make that choice yourself."

"Do I have to decide now?"

"No, kid. You take as much time as you want. I'm gonna be on your side, no matter what you decide."

"Promise?"

"Promise." I pepper her face with kisses, causing her to giggle before squirming out of my arms. "Go get in the shower, and then we can go get some dinner, okay?"

She hops up from the couch, scampering towards the bathroom, and I suppress a laugh as she slides on the linoleum, nearly running into the wall. She gives me a thumbs-up before closing the door behind her. I gather all of the photos, setting aside four or five that I want to display. I don't have to hide them anymore; my secret was out to the people it mattered to the most.

My phone's still on the coffee table, and I remember that someone had messaged me last night, and I never bothered reading them. I don't recognize the number, but I have a feeling I know who it belongs to. I compare it to the list of numbers Dean gave me last night, confirming that it's Sam's. A small part of me wants to delete the messages without reading them, wondering if he thinks a couple of texts will fix everything that happened last night. I debate with myself, but I'm curious about what he could still have to say. I reluctantly click on the icon, three short messages popping up.

Sam : I'm sorry.

Sam : I'll do whatever you want.

Sam : 1 4 3

Crap. Ten words. That's all it takes, and my heart is at war with my head. Begging me to forgive him, telling me to allow him into my life, into Cordy's. No. Sam showed me a side of him last night that I didn't think I'd ever see. All of his anger and resentment directed towards me, the way he grabbed me. What's to stop him from going off like that again?

I take a long breath; I have to stand my ground, knowing that Cordy isn't ready to know him like that. But she will, one day.

Ellie : Thank you, Sam.

My phone chirps again before I can click away from his message. I wasn't expecting him to respond so quickly. Had he been waiting all day for me to reply?

Sam We're back in Lebanon, and we won't bother you anymore. If you ever need anything, pray to Cas, he's always listening.

I know it's meant to be a comforting thought, but something about it doesn't sit right with me. Sam had said that Cas was like family to him and Dean, but surely Cas has better things to do than to wait around for me to call on him.

Sam : I hope that one day you and Corie will be able to forgive me. I love you, Ella, I never stopped.

Sam : I've left something for you at your parent's house, check the mailbox.

My fingers hover over my phone. I want to tell him that I still love him too, but I can't, not like this, not with all of the nasty things we'd said still lingering in the air. Everything I try to say feels like a final goodbye, shutting the door on us forever. I type out the only thing I can think of that won't give him any false hope.

Ellie : Take care of yourself, Sam.

I set my phone down, not waiting for any response. I take the box of photos and put them on a bookshelf, not wanting to hide them in my closet anymore. I change into my favorite pair of jeans and a fitted t-shirt, and french braid my hair, the only thing I can really do after sleeping on the couch. I check my wrist, the size of the bruise has decreased slightly, but it's still large enough for Cordy to ask questions if she sees it. I'm not ready to explain what happened to Cordy, so I put my sweater back on to cover the injury.

I walk back into the living room and notice what a mess my apartment is. From the sex to the fight, Sam and I had displaced a few items as we moved about the place. I shake my head as I begin straightening up. I hear the shower turn off and wait for Cordy to appear from the bathroom. My oversized towels drown her tiny body, and she runs into my bedroom. I continue picking up beer bottles and plates, one with a full slice still on it, and throw it all away.

Cordy re-appears from my bedroom, dressed similarly to myself, in jeans and a t-shirt. Her hair is already starting to curl. Between Sam and me, the kid inherited not only a lot of hair but thick hair as well, the color similar to my own.

"Ellie? Can you do my hair? Like yours?" She looks at me with her big hazel eyes. Clearly, Sam must've taught her how to use them to her advantage, giving me her best puppy-dog look. I nod and laugh as she darts toward me. "We're like twins!" she giggles as I finish her hair, and I give her a playful swat as she runs back to the bathroom.

I gather my purse and cell, tucking the phone into my back pocket as we leave the apartment. Cordy's breathing hitches for a moment when we approach my car. I grab her hand, squeezing it as we walk past the car. There's a diner within walking distance, and I'm afraid of a repeat of yesterday's incident. We enter the restaurant a few minutes later and take our seats at a booth. There's a large novelty map decorating the wall next to us, and Cordy immediately tries to locate Weldon on it.

"Why can't I find it?" She playfully pouts as she moves into her seat.

"Weldon is tiny, kid, it's barely on a Texas map. It's definitely not gonna be on a map of the whole country."

"Ellie? Where am I gonna live now?" she asks, still looking at the map on the wall. A waitress comes by and takes our order, dropping our drinks a few minutes later. "Are we gonna stay at your apartment?"

"That's something I wanted to talk to you about, kid. We can stay out here, find a bigger place for just the two of us, or go back to mom and dad's. I don't know what's gonna happen to the house now, but I can talk to the lawyer if you want to stay there or, if you want, we move to a brand-new place. New town, new people, whaddya think, kid?"

"Can I pick?" she asks excitedly. "If we move, can I pick where?"

"As long as it's somewhere we can afford. No New York City, or L.A., got it?" Cordy sighs dramatically, "I know, I'm no fun." I give an equally dramatic eye roll, causing Cordy to burst into a fit of giggles.

"Can I choose now?"

"If you want to," I take a sip of my coffee, trying to contain my laughter as she covers her eyes with one hand and circles the map with the other. "You didn't already have a place in mind?" I ask, and she separates her fingers to glare at me briefly. "We're gonna let fate decide, huh?" I tease as her hand lands in the center of the map.

"Kansas." She states as she uncovers her eyes. I feel my heart drop into my stomach. "That's where we're moving."

It can't be a coincidence that she chose Kansas, of all places. "I don't think Kansas is the right place for us, kid, why don't you pick again?"

"What's wrong with Kansas?" She asks innocently. It's where your father and uncle are, and I'm not ready to be that close to them. "You said somewhere new; I've never been there before."

"There's a lot of places that you haven't been to before, Cordy. We could go to any of those." I'm doing everything I can to keep my voice calm.

"You said I get to pick. I pick Kansas." She stares me down defiantly.

"I'll think about it."

The waitress brings our food over, and we eat mostly in silence. I can see Cordy's upset with me, and I try to come up with some reason that'll make sense to her as to why I don't want us to move to Kansas. By the end of our meal, I tell her that we can move only if I choose the city, afraid that somehow she'll pick Lebanon. We finish our food and make our way back to my apartment. Instead of walking towards the entrance of the building, I guide us to my car.

"We're gonna be in and out of cars a lot tomorrow," I say as I slow my steps. "I wish we didn't have to, but there's no way around it. When you're ready, we're gonna get in." Her eyes fill with fear, and her breathing grows shallow. I lower myself so that I'm at her eye-level. "It's okay to be scared, Cordy." I can see the tears brimming in her eyes. "You know what I do when I'm scared?" She shakes her head. "I take a deep breath and count to ten. Can you do that for me, kid?"

Cordy closes her eyes and takes a deep inhale, and I move my lips with hers as she counts. She repeats it a few more times before her breathing is back to normal.

"Good. Do you think you're ready to get in?" I ask gently, and she nods hesitantly. "How about I get in first? And as soon as you're ready, you can join me."

I open the back door and slide into the seat. Cordy takes a tentative step forward before moving back to her original spot. I patiently wait as she repeats this action multiple times until she's only a few inches away from me. I reach my hand out and give hers a reassuring squeeze when she takes it. "When you're ready, kid."

I move over, letting her take my place in the back seat. She lets her legs hang out the door for a few minutes before bringing them into the car, weakly smiling when she faces me.

"See? You're okay." I pull her to my side, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. "We're gonna be okay. Nothing bad is gonna happen, and I'll be with you the whole time."

"You promise?"

I nod, Sam's words from earlier repeat in my head, he'd told her to some extent about Cas, and she took comfort in it. "Remember Cas? Sam and Dean's friend?" She nods in response. "Sam told you that he has the best hearing in the world, right? You know why?"

"Nuh-uh."

"He's an angel," Cordy's eyes widen, and a broad grin spreads across her face. "He's always listening, and if you ever get really scared, you can pray to him."

The next day is a blur. I'm barely able to process anything going on around me until we're back at my parents' house. I try to dodge questions about Cordy's lack of injuries, chalking it up to a "miracle" that she walked away without a scratch. Once all the neighbors have left, I search for Cordy; she kept to herself most of the day, disappearing upstairs as more people arrived. I find her in my parents' room, asleep, and snuggled in between their bedsheets. I crawl in with her wrapping my arms around her tiny body and let sleep take me away.

My alarm jolts me awake the next morning. Cordy grumbles in her sleep as I slip out of bed and make my way downstairs. Remembering Sam's last message, I walk out to the mailbox and see Sam's scratchy handwriting on a plain envelope as soon as I peer inside. I bring the envelope and the other pieces of mail that have built up over the last week, back into the house. When I open the message from Sam, I find a piece of paper folded around two necklaces. The charms on each chain match the symbol tattooed on Sam's chest.

One for you and one for Corie; please, Ella, never take these off.

A week after the funeral, I sit down with the estate attorney. He walks me through mom and dad's will, along with the state of their finances. The insurance will cover the cost of the funeral and the remaining mortgage of the house. If we choose to continue living there, he explains, I wouldn't need to worry about house payments. I consider it briefly, thinking that it may be better for us. I discuss it with Cordy that night, and we decide, together, a new town would do us both good. With the sale of the house and insurance settlement, Cordy and I will have more than enough to start over.

I temporarily move us back into the house, the tight quarters of my apartment driving us crazy. That night, Cordy pulls up a map of Kansas on my laptop and makes me pick a city at random. I study the screen for a moment, finding Lebanon, knowing that I can't be in the same city as Sam and Dean. I stay near the edges of the state lines, and my finger lands on Lawrence. Something about the name is familiar, but I shake it off, glad to be at least a few hours away from Sam. They had both kept their promises, and I hadn't heard from either of them since they'd left Weldon.

We start looking at houses online in Lawrence and take a weekend trip to see the homes that we are interested in, only able to agree on one. We canvas our new neighborhood, and I find a sense of comfort on the quiet street. I notify my realtor that I'd like things to move as quickly as possible, wanting us to be completely settled in by the time Cordy starts school. It takes nearly two months for the house to become ours. During that time, Cordy and I work on navigating our new relationship.

Moving day is bittersweet; saying goodbye to my childhood home, Cordy's home, nearly causes me to break down. We spend several minutes alone in the empty house, looking over everything before bidding it a final goodbye. I wipe a few tears from my eyes and notice Cordy doing the same; I pull her against me and squeeze her shoulder. This is the only home she's ever known, and now, she's leaving it. We're both crying when I pull out of the driveway and set out towards Lawrence.

When we arrive at our new home the next day, we're singing loudly and badly to the radio. The movers arrive shortly after us, and within a few hours, they've cleared out their truck, and everything is in its proper place. On our first night, our next-door neighbor, Cynthia, introduces herself and her daughter, Ava, who is Cordy's age. The two girls run off into the house, chattering away, and Cordy invites her to sleep over as soon as we are completely settled. Cynthia and I laugh at how quickly they've become friends, and she extends an open invitation to Cordy to come over at any time. Most of the other families, she explains, have preschool-age children.

For the rest of the week, a different neighbor came knocking on the front door, usually with a baked something-or-other in their hands. Tonight is no different, but when I open the door, it's not a family that greets me, but a bearded man in a black suit.

"Hello, darling," a thick British accent comes from him. "You must be Moose's little whore."