TEN

The next morning, I went into the bathroom to take a look at how my arm was healing up. After closing the door, I pulled off the old blue T-shirt I'd worn to bed, stood in front of the mirror, and unwound the bandage just under my shoulder as slowly and carefully as I could. The bleeding had finally stopped, though there was a dark bruise where the bullet had gone in, and I was sure there was also one in the back where it had gone out. My arm still ached a little, but it wasn't as bad as it had been yesterday, just a faint, dull throbbing beneath my skin. I thought I could almost ignore if I tried hard enough.

Facing the mirror again, I tried lifting my arm above my head, but I didn't get very far before the pain suddenly reared up and practically kicked me in the head. So much for that idea. I'd wanted to see how far I could move it, but I realized then that it would be a little while before I'd have my full range of motion back. I sighed, lowered my arm again, and gently rubbed it where it hurt until the ache subsided, fading back to where it had been before. And as much as I hated the idea, I decided to ask Reeve later if he had another potion I could take.

In the meantime, there was something else that I'd come in here to do. I went over to the tub and turned on the water, adjusting the knobs until it was nice and hot, just the way I liked it. Then I took off the rest of my clothes, put them aside, and stepped lightly into the shower. The streams of water sizzled against my bare skin as puffs of steam rose up around me, and for a while I just soaked, badly needing this chance to relax after the long and terrible day I'd had yesterday.

Eventually, though, I washed up, using the little travel soaps I'd put in my backpack last night and which I'd set in here before going to bed. I had to do it with only my good hand for the most part, so it took a bit longer than it normally would have. I didn't mind, though, and while I swirled the bubbly suds over my body and slid my fingers through the long, wet strands of my hair, I felt myself unwind a little. I had another busy day ahead of me, but this one would be different, and as I started to rinse myself off, I found I was ready for it.

When I was finished, I let the water spill over me for a little longer as I stood there with my eyes closed and my head tilted back. Being in here had done wonders for my muscles. My legs in particular had been practically screaming last night after going down all those stairs, but I'd been so preoccupied with everything else that had happened that I had forced myself to push through it. And by the time I'd arrived at Reeve's place, I had been so tired that I had just gone right to bed after he and I had finished talking.

I opened my eyes and turned off the water a few minutes later, and almost immediately I felt goosebumps rise up on my skin. My hair wet and dripping, I reached for one of the towels on the rack, got out of the tub, and dried myself off, mostly with my good hand. My right arm felt a bit better after the shower, but I still couldn't lift it too high yet. Then I got dressed, slipping on an extra set of clothes I'd brought in with me, and finished getting ready.

Reeve was already gone by the time I got out, but he'd left a note on the kitchen table. I'd figured that he'd have returned to work by now, so I wasn't surprised. My stomach started yammering at me for breakfast, but before I got myself anything, I picked up the small slip of paper on the table and read what was on it:

Jessica,

I hope you slept well last night. Sorry I missed you this morning, but I had to get to work. But before I left, I called those two friends I told you about last night, and they've both agreed to help you. The first should be there early in the afternoon to pick you up, so be sure you're ready. You'll probably be gone most of the day. He's a bit flashy, as I mentioned before, but there's no one in Midgar better able to help you create a new identity and a new lookfor yourselfthan him.

The man who owns the Starlight Theater in Sector 8 is expecting you tonight at 6:00 for an interview and audition. There's a new play starting its run in a few weeks, and I've convinced him to give you a shot at it. It's a supporting role, but I'm sure you'll do fine and it's a good place to start. And once you're comfortable being on stage again, I'm sure you won't be needing my help getting a starring role yourself someday. Good luck, and I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes. I'll see you tonight when you get back. Take care.

Reeve

I smiled as I put the note down and made myself something to eat. I had known he'd come through for me, just as he always had. Though I did wonder a bit about the first man he had mentioned. Flamboyant? Flashy? What had he meant? I didn't know, but I figured it didn't really matter. The guy was willing to help me, and from what Reeve had told me, he was the best at what he did.

There was a knock at the door about two hours later, right at 12:00. The guy certainly was punctual and precise. Couldn't get any earlier in the afternoon than that. I put Mom's diary down on the table, slipped a scrap of paper in it to use as a crude bookmark, closed it, and stood up. When I answered the door, I had to keep myself from staring. The man on other side was nothing like what I'd been expecting.

His hair and beard were brown and cropped extremely short, close enough to his skin that I could see his scalp. His outfit was dark purple with gold trim, an elegant, high-collared thing with long, hanging tails and an open chest with a weblike pattern of fabric sewn across it. Short sleeves ran down to his elbows and were also partially open. They had the same open, weblike design that was on the chest, and his matching purple shoes shone like mirrors. I thought I could almost see myself in them, they were so clear.

He bowed slightly, every movement an exercise in practiced grace. "Greetings, Jessica Heidegger. My name is Andrea Rhodea, owner and proprietor of the Honeybee Inn. But I suspect you are as yet unfamiliar with my establishment. It lies in Wall Market, far below where we now stand. But not so far removed as you might think."

"Far below?" I wondered. "You mean the slums, don't you?"

"That is correct. But we will not be going to the Inn today. While it is my primary place of business and the center of my various activities, I do own and operate a second establishment here on the plate. In this very sector, in fact. It is more discreet than the Inn, and it is there that I will take you. Come, Jessica. We have much to do."

I followed him, locking the door with the spare key Reeve had left for me. "I was told you could help me?"

Andrea nodded. "Indeed. Your friend is correct."

"You can give me a new look, a new image?" I went on.

"But of course," he answered as we walked outside. "Beauty is what I craft and what I pursue. It is my business and my passion. I am aware of your needs, Jessica, and your situation. Reeve has explained it to me fully. And I shall indeed help you."

Waiting for us was a black stretch limo, and once we got inside, we drove away. It wasn't a very long trip, but it took us to a smaller area of Sector 8 that I'd never seen before, a quiet corner tucked away from the larger avenues and more prominent districts. Andrea got out first, then took me by the hand and helped me to step out of the limo as if I were some big star or something. I felt a little silly but kept it to myself as we stood on the street outside his establishment. He planted a soft kiss on the back of my hand before letting it go.

I couldn't help feeling a little giddy. "Thank you, Mr. Rhodea."

"Please, call me Andrea. And I don't take an interest in just anyone, so consider yourself fortunate. Your plight is one that moves me, and I cannot refuse one in such dire need of my help."

"It's just a new look, though," I said.

Andrea shook his. "No, Jessica. It is more than that. Beauty is more than merely what you wear and how you appear. It comes straight from the heart and infuses every fiber of your being. I will teach you to draw upon it and make it a part of yourself. Together, we shall awaken a new woman in you, one that others will never forget and whom your father will never know or recognize."

There weren't any lights or signs outside the building to show what was inside. Except for one thing. The image of a honeybee was printed above the building's double doors. Andrea pushed them open, snapped his finger, and two attendants came and held them as he led me inside. I followed him, curious and a little excited.

Andrea turned to me. "Welcome to the Honeybee Lounge."

A long, thick red carpet lay on the black and white checkered floor of the lobby, and to my left was a polished wooden desk with a man in a bright yellow suit standing behind him. This was probably some sort of reception area for people to check in at. A set of stairs rose behind it to the second floor, and pots of colorful silk flowers decorated the area. I'd have been really surprised if any had been real. Those were unheard of in Midgar, at least as far as I knew.

Another set of double doors stood closed in front of us, and it was through there that Andrea led me. We entered into a lounge area full of small tables with little lamps on them and a stage up front. The curtain was closed at the moment, but people were still sitting and murmuring amongst themselves. I supposed a show was starting soon, but I had no idea what it was. I'd never been to this sort of place before.

We ignored the crowd and went instead to a smaller door off to the left side of the room. It was quieter on the other side as I followed him down a short, narrow hallway that soon turned to the right and led to a series of dressing rooms on either side. Andrea went to one of the ones on the left, opened the door, and beckoned me inside.

I went in. It was a world I'd not been a part of for years, but as I sat down in a large cushioned chair next to a mirror lined with lights, I felt like I'd begun to find a part of myself again that I'd thought lost forever. An old dream rediscovered. I smiled, remembering the fortune Cait had given me. Maybe there was something to it after all.

Three other people joined us. Two were young women, like me but dressed in black leotards, stockings, and high heels. They also had a set of large plastic wings fitted onto their backs, and each girl wore a black hairband with a pair of cute antennae on it as well. The third was a guy in a white tuxedo shirt, black slacks, and a matching top hat.

They all bustled into the dressing room with the largest assortment of makeup, cosmetics, and other beauty items I'd ever seen. I had never worn much of that stuff myself even in my acting days—just a bit here and a touch there for the most part—so I didn't really know what most of what they had even was. But I knew Andrea did and that he'd figure out what would work best for me. I wasn't expecting him to do what he did first, though, and I was surprised, to say the least.

Andrea took off my glasses. "These will simply not do, Jessica. The first of many such changes."

"But I can't see without them!" I protested.

"That is being taken care of as we speak," he assured me. "And you will not only have your vision, you will become a vision. A testament to beauty and sophistication."

I stared at him. "You really think so?"

"I know so. Beauty is my specialty, Jessica. My art."

As he turned the chair to face me away from the mirror, the others opened a nearby closet to reveal a wardrobe full of women's clothes, all of different styles and colors. I'd never been into fashion much since I'd always been more of a tomboy, and my own outfits were usually pretty modest and boyish, not really showing much skin or doing anything to show off my body, which I'd always been a little self-conscious of. Even my work clothes—the slacks and blouses I'd often worn—had been the same way for the most part. My outfit today wasn't much different, just a long-sleeved shirt and some casual pants.

Andrea looked at me long and hard, circling around me as though he were sizing me up, one hand under his chin. Then he turned to one of the girls and conferred with her for a moment, their voices down to a low murmur. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I knew it had to be about me. And when the girl brought over a tray full of grooming supplies—including all manner of scissors, brushes, combs, sprays, and dyes—and laid everything out on top of the wooden dresser in front of the mirror, I suddenly understood.

"You're going to cut my hair?" I asked.

"Yes," Andrea replied. "She will, but I will direct her. I must ask you first, however. Do you trust me?"

I swallowed. "I do. It's just… I've always had it long."

"And that it why it must change. Leave the old behind, Jessica. You are beginning a new phase of your life. Let the severing of your hair be a means of casting off that which came before."

"It would make it harder for my father to find me, too," I said. "He's not one to pay attention to things like that."

He nodded. "Exactly. Now, may we proceed?"

I took a long, slow breath and let it out. "Do it. I'm ready."

After covering me with a black salon cape and fastening it in place, the girl picked up a comb and scissors and got started. I closed my eyes as she worked on my hair under Andrea's careful direction. Although I didn't know how he was going to have it styled or what he was going to turn me into, I realized it didn't really matter. My life had changed, and he was right. I had to embrace it and put the past behind me. The pain of what I'd done and what I'd lost would never leave, and neither would the memories, but maybe I could live with them.

When they were finished, I opened my eyes to see Andrea going to the wardrobe and inspecting the different outfits, his gaze flitting back to me every soften as if he were checking something. I still had no idea how my hair looked yet since the girl who had cut it hadn't rotated the chair back around to face the mirror again. I guess they wanted to wait until the whole ensemble was done before letting me see it for myself. I was a little nervous but also excited.

Andrea came back over, the second girl behind him with the set of clothes he'd picked out for me. I didn't know why he hadn't let me do it myself, but I had the feeling I probably wouldn't have chosen the same thing if he had. The point of this exercise was to help me get away from my old way of doing things, and taking on a new style in how I looked and dressed was a part of that. If the choice had been left to me, I don't know if it would've been what I needed.

"Take these and change," Andrea handed me the new clothes. "The girls will assist you while Robert and I are gone."

He bowed, then he and the other man left, closing the door behind them. After I stood up, I started to turn around to try and get a look at myself in the mirror, but one of the girls caught me and kept me facing away from it as she smiled apologetically. The other one helped me get changed, taking my old clothes as I took them off and giving me a little guidance with the new ones. They were definitely different than what I was used to, and I wouldn't really know how they looked on me until I saw myself in the mirror, but I liked what I'd seen so far.

When I was finished, one of the girls opened the door, and Andrea and Robert came back inside. Robert, I noticed, was carrying a slender rectangular box in hand this time. He hadn't had it before. I wondered what was inside but figured I'd find out sooner or later. There was also some writing on it, but without my glasses, I couldn't make it out from where I was. And I was barely able to see anything more than a few feet away at all. Just constant blurs of color and motion that kept going into and out of focus whenever Andrea and his assistants moved toward or away from me as they worked.

Andrea motioned for me to sit down in the chair again, and I did. I saw, as he and others moved closer, that they had begun going through all the cosmetics they'd brought in earlier. Andrea hovered over me like a surgeon operating on his patient, and the others were like his nurses, giving him whatever he needed—brushes, pastes, lipstick, eyeliner, and other things I didn't have a name for.

I don't know how long I was in that chair, a big bundle of nerves as I sat there and let him shape and mold me as if I were his canvas. And I guess I sort of was. I didn't know what to expect, and it was both scary and exciting at the same time. Andrea didn't speak much, and I had to hold still unless it was to turn my head in one direction or the other or close my eyes for a moment while he applied the makeup. Whatever he was doing, my pores felt cleaner than they had in ages.

While Andrea worked on my face, the girls did my nails. One took my hands while the other did my feet. I hadn't expected all this when I had come over here today, but I wasn't about to complain, either. It had been a long time since I'd had anything like this done, and it felt pretty good, to be honest. So I just relaxed and enjoyed it.

When they were all finished and my nails were dry, Andrea held a hand out toward Robert, who gave him the box I'd seen earlier. It was a small one, narrow and flat and white. Then he handed it to me, but not without a bit of theatrical flair that made me wonder even more about what it was. I opened the flap on one end of the box and pulled out the plastic tray inside. And when I saw what was on it, I looked back up at Andrea in astonishment.

"Contact lenses?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yes. I had them made while we were in here working on you. That is why we needed your glasses. Now, put these on, and see the world anew. They are for more than your sight, as you will find out once you look at yourself."

I'd never worn contacts before and I wasn't entirely sure how to put them on, but the girls were good enough to show me, and it was only a minute or so later that they were in place and suddenly everything was clear and sharp again. Even more than when I had worn my glasses, in fact. I could hardly believe it.

"It's incredible!" I exclaimed. "Thank you!"

Andrea bowed. "You are quite welcome, Jessica. And now, it's time for you to see what you have become. Are you ready?"

I was more than ready. "Yeah. Show me."

"Very well," he said. "Look this way, my avatar of beauty."

He motioned to my left with a wide, graceful sweep of his arm, and I slowly turned in that direction, my heart pounding. When I saw what was there, I froze, my feet rooted to the spot. While I had been putting on my new contact lenses, Robert had set up a full length dress mirror on that side of the room. And when I saw my reflection, my mouth fell open and my eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Oh, wow…!" I gasped.

My hair, which used to fall nearly to my waist, now hung just a few inches above my shoulders, the ends cut at an angle that rose higher at the back. My bangs were long and styled as well. They had changed the color, too. My natural light auburn had been dyed, and now it was a lot darker, a rich chocolate brown with faint red highlights. I really liked it a lot, and I couldn't help smiling as I ran a hand through it. An excited giggle got away from me as I kept staring at myself.

As I gazed at my eyes, I understood what Andrea had meant when he'd said the contacts were for more than just helping me see better. My eyes were naturally brown, but Andrea's people had tinted the contacts, and they made the color deeper and richer than it had been before. My eyes actually matched my hair now, believe it or not.

The skin of my face felt soft, fresh, and looked absolutely flawless. I had no idea what sort of foundation Andrea had used, but the color fit my natural skin tone perfectly. It was smooth, bright, and I loved it. My lips had been coated in a wonderfully vibrant reddish-pink lipstick that left them looking lusher and fuller than I remembered and made them glisten in the light. A matching shade of rouge covered my cheeks, just enough to bring them out and give them a hint of color. Not too much and not too little. My eyelashes had been expertly curled, and now they looked longer, fuller, and thicker than I'd ever seen them. And my eyes themselves looked bigger, too, and had been softly accented with a nice bluish-black eye shadow and a slight touch of eyeliner to add a little bit of definition and enhance the rest.

I was wearing an elegant, sleeveless evening dress of dark red satin, cut low enough to offer a tantalizing view and make my modest curves really stand out. The back was also low, and the straps on my shoulders were slender but so light it almost felt like they weren't even there. The skirt portion swished around my legs just above my knees. On my feet were a pair of open-toed high heels that matched my dress—definitely not the sneakers and clogs I had always worn. They were great, though, and I was sure I could get used to them.

Andrea had also cleverly hidden the bruises on my wounded arm, applying just the right amount of body foundation over them, and as I stared at my shoulder, it looked as if I'd never even been shot at all, the skin clean and unmarked. It was just makeup, but I was happy about it nevertheless. He had also rubbed a medicinal cream onto them as well, and my arm felt better now than it had all day.

My fingernails and toenails had both been neatly trimmed and had been coated with a bright, shiny polish that was the same reddish-pink that had been used on my lips and cheeks. I held my hands out in front of me to get a better look, then glanced down at my toes before gazing back in the mirror again in awe and delight.

"Does it meet with your approval?" Andrea asked.

I turned to him and grinned, feeling really happy for the first time since Mom's death. "Yes! Thank you so much!"

He bowed again. "My pleasure, Jessica."

"It… it's just so… I don't even look anything like I did before! It… it's… oh, I don't have the words! It's…"

"Perfection," Andrea declared, his eyes on mine.

That was it! "Exactly! I still can't believe it's really me…"

He went on. "It is you. A new you, arisen from the ashes of all you have lost and left behind. But this is merely the beginning. Reeve spoke to me of your decision to cast aside your old name. A wise choice. You have already chosen part of it, correct?"

"That's right," I nodded. "Jessie. But I don't know the rest just yet. I thought about Rasberry, my mom's maiden name, but… I think it's too dangerous, at least for now. Maybe someday I'll use it, when my father isn't looking so closely for me. But for now, I need something different. Think you can help with that?"

"But of course," Andrea replied. "It must be simple yet also provide a touch of flair and panache, flowing from one syllable to the next with ease and grace. As a performer, your name is vital. It is how you will be known and remembered."

It made sense and fit with my past experience as an actress. I knew how important it was. "Right. So, let's see…"

Andrea gazed at me for a long moment, his hand under his chin as he scrutinized me. Then he pointed at me, a clever smirk on his face. "I have it. Jae. That is your name. You are Jessie Jae."

"Jessie Jae…" I murmured, sounding it out for myself.

"What do you think?" he said.

I smiled. "Perfection."

"Excellent," Andrea agreed. "Now, come. There is still much yet for us to do. This way."

I followed him out of the dressing room and further down the hall. At the end was another door, and inside was a large, open room with a polished wooden floor that seemed to echo with every step we took. It was dimly lit by a series of round lights far overhead, and I couldn't see much of anything. But a vague suspicion began forming in my mind as we made our way to the middle of the room.

"Where are we?" I wondered.

Andrea turned around to face me. "Your next lesson. If you wish to become someone new, it requires more than merely changing how you look. You must also change how you act. Be the change you desire. You seek a return to the stage and all its light and glory, but don't be afraid, for you are already there."

He snapped his fingers, and the lights brightened at once. As soon as they did and I saw what was around me, I knew exactly where I was, where I'd thought I might be. Off to my my right was the curtain, large and thick and red, and the lines of lights overhead hung suspended on metal racks, a familiar sight from so long ago.

I was on stage, the very same one I'd seen before.

As the curtain rose, I saw that I was right. It was the lounge he and I had passed through earlier, only now it was much more crowded, the hushed murmur of conversation dying away as everyone settled in and got ready to watch the show. I swallowed heavily, butterflies exploding in my stomach, and wondered if I could do this.

Andrea's voice was firm. "Jessie Jae. Look at me."

I did. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"To test you," he answered. "Now, show me what you can do!"

Just as he finished speaking, the lights flashed and music started, a quick rhythm with a strong beat, and I knew what he was asking me to do. Andrea started first, and I followed, slowly at first as I tried to learn the moves he was using. I hadn't done anything like this in years, but as I kept at it and focused only on him and not the crowd, I started to feel my confidence growing. Soon I forgot about everything else as we kept dancing, the music loud in our ears.

"How's that?" I grinned, spinning away from him.

He nodded. "Very good. But before you can own the audience, you must first own yourself. You want to be a presence on stage and in your life? To live out your dreams? Then seize them and never let go. You're a brilliant star, shining in the night. You are a sensation, ready to sweep down upon this city. Don't think you are. Know you are."

My heart racing, I took in every word and knew he was right. I had merely been following his lead before, but now I started making moves of my own, and he kept up perfectly as behind us, the back of the stage suddenly rose up in a series of tiers and a group of Honeybee girls and guys emerged from underneath and danced all around us. I'd been in a few musicals during my past years as an actress, and as I thought about that and let the familiar sights, sounds, and experiences overtake me, I relaxed even more and really got into it.

When the music finally stopped with a burst of confetti and a blast of multicolored light, I almost wished it hadn't. I stood there, just a few yards away from Andrea, my arms stretched out wide and high and my legs slightly apart as I stared out at the crowd with my head held high. I was totally exhilarated, my heart pounding in my chest and adrenaline rushing through me like wildfire.

Then we all came to the front of the stage and took our bows, hand in hand, and as the cheers and applause of the crowd washed over us, I wondered why I had ever left this life in the first place. And I found my love of it returning, a passion I'd thought long gone. But I had a second chance now, and I had every intention of grabbing it and running with it as fast and as far as I could go. Tonight's audition at the Starlight was just the beginning. And although I had originally meant for my acting to just be a way for me to hide from my father, I realized I wanted it to be much more than that now.

It was time to rediscover my dreams.