THIRTEEN

The next night, Kunsel was waiting for me outside, just like we had planned. He stood patiently by the theater doors, smiling when he saw me. He'd watched the show, of course, front row center like always. But he wasn't wearing his SOLDIER uniform tonight. Just some nice casual clothes instead, a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and a pair of dark pants and shoes.

"Hi!" I waved, walking over to him.

His blue eyes lit up when he saw me. "Hi, Jessie! You were great up there tonight, you know that?"

I laughed. "Thanks, Kunsel. Wait long?"

"Not too much," he shrugged. "Are you ready?"

"Whenever you are," I nodded.

He swallowed, then offered me his arm. Still a bit nervous, I guess. But I couldn't blame him. I had some butterflies flying around my own stomach, after all. And looking at him for too long didn't help much. It was hard for me to do anything else, though. I liked him. A skilled and trained fighter but also caring, decent, insightful, and a real joy to look at. His short brown hair was nicely parted to one side, and as I slipped my arm through his, I admired it for a moment.

As for me, I wore a nice, shoulderless red dress. Short, like most of the ones I had, reaching almost to my knees. It was cut more modestly than some of my other dresses, leaving my arms bare aside from a wide stretch of fabric just below my shoulders, and was a darker red, almost burgundy, with a pair of matching heels.

We were just starting to head down the sidewalk when suddenly a girl in a bright pink dress hurried over to us from near the alley on the other side of the theater. She looked to be around my age, maybe a year younger, and had the most vibrant green eyes I'd ever seen. Her brown hair was tied back in a long, thick braid with a cheerful ribbon that was the same pink as her dress, and she also wore a short-sleeved red jacket with pockets in the front along with a pair of plain brown boots. There was a liveliness to her that I liked at once.

From her arm hung an old, faded wicker basket, and I had to blink to make sure I wasn't seeing things when I realized what inside of it. A collection of flowers—real flowers! I'd never seen any before, only fake ones made out of silk. But these, these were real. Flowers didn't grow in Midgar. Neither did most plants. It was because of the reactors and the byproducts they released. At least, that's what I'd believed back then. It wasn't very far from the truth, though. I hadn't learned yet what mako really was or how its use was affecting things.

At the time, the girl's flowers fascinated me. How had she managed to grow them in this place? It was incredible, to say the least. The smell was wonderful, too. Not like the sprays they used on fake flowers. This was the real deal, and I was curious to know more about them and why the girl had brought them here.

"Hi there!" she smiled. "How would you like—Kunsel?"

She knew him? He nodded. "Yeah, it's me. Guess you didn't realize it without my uniform, huh?"

The girl chuckled. "Nope. And you have a date, too!"

"Uh, yeah," Kunsel blushed. "This is…"

"Jessie Jae, right?" she finished for him, offering me her hand.

I shook it. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

The girl giggled and pointed behind me at the huge mural over the theater's entrance. "Lucky guess."

"Oh!" I smiled. "It was, wasn't it?"

I laughed with her as I realized just how obvious it had been who I was. I'd simply gotten so used to the mural being up there over the past few months that I hardly even paid much attention to it anymore. I felt like I was starting to get used to my newfound fame a little, and the girl didn't seem the least bit fazed or overwhelmed to see me. She was very confident and relaxed, even a little snarky. I liked her already. I did still wonder how Kunsel knew her, though.

I looked at him. "So, you two have met before?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Aerith here's a friend of mine. And she's also important to my best buddy. He asked me to look in on her from time to time while he's gone, so I do that when I can. Speaking of which, are you ever gonna let me fix that cart for you, Aerith?"

"Nope!" she shook her head. "He'll do it when he gets back."

Kunsel shrugged. "Alright. So, is that why you started selling your flowers up here instead?"

Aerith smirked. "Yep. And business is good!"

"I can imagine," I agreed. "How do you do it, Aerith? The flowers, I mean. Never thought they'd grow here."

"In most places, they won't. But I've found a few spots where I can help them thrive. Good sun, good water, good soil, that sort of thing. It isn't always easy, but in the slums, nothing ever is."

I grinned. "Well, I gotta admit, I'm impressed. It's amazing!"

"Thanks, Jessie!" Aerith said. Then she whirled on Kunsel, putting her hands on her hips as she raised an eyebrow. "So! You've got a pretty girl with you tonight and you haven't even bought a flower from me for her yet? And on your first date, no less."

"I was, um… just getting to that," Kunsel stammered.

She held up her basket. "Well then, let's get down to business, shall we? I've got quite a selection here, you know. But why don't you let the lady decide? It's her first one, after all."

I took a closer look at the flowers. They were beautiful, all different kinds and colors. Mostly red, yellow, and white, but I also noticed a few blue and purple ones, too. Some had short petals while others had long ones. It was pretty hard to pick just one, actually. They were all so nice. But eventually, I chose a bright red tulip. Aerith smiled and took it out of her old wicker basket.

"How much?" Kunsel asked.

She thought for minute a she held the flower. "Hmm, let's see… for you guys… it's on the house."

He shook his head. "You don't have to do that. I'll pay."

"Come on, Kunsel," Aerith rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to say, 'Thanks for the wonderful gift!' Don't you know that?"

"Uh, thanks for the wonderful gift, Aerith," he told her.

She bowed. "You're welcome! Here you go!"

I chuckled as she handed it to me. "Thank you, both of you."

"My pleasure," Aerith said. "Now, you two run along and have fun! I'll see you around, okay?"

"You bet! And it was great meeting you, Aerith."

She waved. "Same to you, Jessie. Bye!"

Kunsel and I waved back, then walked off down the sidewalk while Aerith headed in the opposite direction, which would eventually bring her to the train station further down the road. I brought the tulip up to my nose and smelled its fragrant aroma as I made my way up the street with Kunsel toward the restaurant.

Dinner was awesome—a nice, juicy steak, piping hot baked potato with cheese, bacon, and sour cream, salad, and a deep red wine. Kunsel and I talked a lot while we ate, and while the butterflies seemed to have taken up a holding pattern in my stomach, I had a great time getting to know him better. And I think he felt the same way about me. He made me laugh and feel happier than I'd been in a long time.

At one point, a married couple maybe a little older than us came to the table. They were a little hesitant at first, the wife being a bit awed to see me up close, but I said hi and encouraged them to stay a moment. I didn't mind fans like this. Kunsel nodded to them but let me handle it, a little nervous about it all. When the wife shyly held out a flyer for me to sign, I smiled and autographed it for her. Once they had thanked me and walked away, Kunsel looked at me in amusement.

"Does that happen a lot?" he asked.

I nodded. "Sometimes. You'll get used to it."

Kunsel laughed. "If I'm lucky enough to spend more time with you after tonight, that is."

"I think there's a pretty good chance of that," I winked.

After dinner, we walked back up the street the way we'd come since my apartment was in that direction. But when we got there, I suddenly had an idea. I took Kunsel by the hand and led him back to the theater, giggling the whole time. My heart skipped a beat when I felt his fingers touch mine, and my nerves were all over the place.

He blinked. "What are we doing?"

"You'll see!" I told him. "It'll be fun, trust me!"

We reached the theater a few minutes later. It was closed now, but I had a spare key. One of the perks of being a headliner. Handing Kunsel my flower for a moment, I opened my purse, took out the key, opened the door, and put it back. Then I took the tulip in hand, grinned widely at him, and motioned for him to follow me inside.

I flipped on a few lights once we entered the lobby, then led Kunsel through another locked door and down a short hall, giving him a little tour of the theater the way I saw and experienced it. We passed several offices—ones for the director, assistant director, producer, and a couple others—peeked into the prop and equipment storage areas, and finally came to a row of dressing rooms. Mine was at the end, right next to the door leading to the stage.

"So, this is where you get ready for the show?" Kunsel marveled as we entered my dressing room.

I smiled. "Yeah. Pretty big, isn't it?"

He nodded, looking around and taking it all in, seeing my makeup chair, the wide mirror with the lights around it, and the closet that held the different costumes I wore for the play. The black dress was only one of them, since Sarah had a lot of different scenes. Another door led to a private restroom and shower. I watched as Kunsel walked around and, with a nod from me, touched the costumes and felt the fabric between his fingers, a look of awe on his face.

"I never thought I'd be able to see any of this…" he murmured. "It's really amazing."

"Oh, we're not done yet," I winked.

Across from my dressing room was the green room, or lounge. We stepped in for a minute so Kunsel could get a look at it. This was where me and the other performers often hung out when we weren't on stage. There were several upholstered chairs, a few plushly cushioned sofas, a TV, even a small fridge filled with sodas and water. A pair of curtained windows looked out on the street below.

Lastly, I led Kunsel through the door to the stage, though he didn't know yet where we were going. I wanted to surprise him, you see. The lights were off, and I only turned on the ones closest to the door so we could see each other and what we were doing.

"What's this?" he asked.

I smirked. "You'll see. Go on ahead. I'll catch up."

Kunsel blinked, then did as I said, walking across the wooden floor into the dimness and stopping about thirty feet or so away, glancing up into the high ceiling but not seeing anything but darkness. Good. He'd gone as far as I'd hoped he would. While he was still over there, I found the curtain controls and hit the switch to make it rise.

He whirled around at the sound of the curtain going up, and while that was happening, I switched on more of the lights as well, enough to let Kunsel see and understand exactly where he was. I walked over and joined him as his eyes widened and he finally realized he was on stage. He turned, looking at it all in wonder, then gazed out at all the rows of empty seats in the auditorium. They rose up at an angle, higher as they went back, with multiple levels as well.

"Wow…" Kunsel breathed, his jaw on the floor.

"Surprise!" I laughed. "So, what do you think, Kunsel? Last stop on our little tour. But it sure is the best."

He nodded. "You're not kidding, Jessie. It's incredible…"

I pointed toward the enclosed area in the middle of the uppermost level of the auditorium. "That's the executive suite, where a few Shinra officials and other high-level guests like Mayor Domino view the play. I met him once, actually."

"Really?" Kunsel asked.

"Mmm-hmm. On opening night. He and Director Tuesti visited us backstage, the whole cast, after the show to congratulate us. Domino's a bit of a character, but he seemed nice enough."

He laughed. "I've heard he's a little eccentric, yeah."

I led Kunsel to the front of the stage and pointed below us. "Down there's the orchestra pit. You've probably seen it a little from where you sit, but not like this, huh?"

"No," he shook his head. "It's all new to me."

"We don't use any prerecorded music for the show. It's all done live. Better that way, I think. Don't you?"

He smiled. "I do. Makes each performance a little different."

"Exactly!" I agreed.

"So," Kunsel gazed out across the auditorium as we stood together. "This is how you see it. This is your world…"

I moved closer to him. "Yeah. Do you like it?"

"I love it…" he said.

The butterflies swarming now, I sat down with Kunsel there at the front of the stage, our legs hanging over the edge. At first, neither of us said anything, and I took a little comfort in knowing he was as nervous as I was. Then, my hand found his, my heart racing when they touched again and our fingers slid together.

"I'm glad you liked this little peek into who I am," I told him.

Kunsel nodded. "I did, Jessie. Thank you."

I smiled. "You're welcome, Kunsel. Although… I was kinda hoping you'd thank me in another way…

"How?" he wondered.

I leaned closer to him. "Like this…"

Swallowing my nerves, I let my gaze fall to his mouth, put my hand on the side of Kunsel's face, and kissed him. My body felt warm all over when my lips covered his and my eyes slid shut. He eagerly returned it, gently taking me into his arms as his mouth moved against mine. I put my own arms over his shoulders, my blood on fire as the kiss deepened and our lips pressed against each other.

Kunsel stroked my cheek when we finally came up for air. "If this is a dream, don't wake me…"

"Oh, it's real alright," I teased. "Need a pinch?"

"I'll take your word for it," he chuckled.

After laughing together for a minute, we found each other again in another kiss, our lips moving softly but insistently against each other. I felt my skin tingling as we kept at it, our mouths touching and moving away and touching again. It was almost magical, sitting there with him in the empty theater as he held me in his arms and made me feel more happy and alive than I'd ever known.

Kunsel and I sat there for a while, sharing tender kisses as my heart hammered inside me and my stomach did one leaping somersault after another. In the warm glow of the stage lights, I knew that I'd found the last and best part of my new life, something that I'd never even known was missing. I felt like maybe, just maybe, I could finally begin to move on and leave the pain of my past behind me.

For the first time since I'd left Shinra, I felt free.

About two months or so later, I was relaxing on my couch at home reading Mom's diary. My relationship with Kunsel was going well. I let out a smile and a happy sigh whenever I thought of him. Sure, we were still in the honeymoon stage, but neither of us was in any rush to move out of that. Kayla had squealed in delight when I'd told her I finally had a boyfriend and had hugged me so tightly I'd thought she'd squeeze the life out of me. If she didn't snap me in two, that was. She was infamous around the Starlight for her energy and enthusiasm.

She had bugged me for details, but I didn't tell her much, not even his name. Kunsel and I had agreed, after talking it over, to try and keep to a minimum the inevitable attention he'd get for being involved with me because of my fame as the new star of LOVELESS. He wasn't really comfortable with it, and I didn't blame him.

I also had another reason I wanted to keep him out of the spotlight as much as possible, a personal reason I didn't share with him but kept to myself. The less that anyone knew about him, the harder it would be for my father to find out about him. I hadn't told Kunsel about my past yet—I didn't know how—but I cared about him too much to let him be hurt by it or anything that might happen because of it.

Anyway, I'd learned a lot about Mom from her diary. Not just what she'd known about my father's activities, but how afraid she was, for me as well as herself. And how, even in the face of that, she had refused to give up hope of making things better for us. Although it hadn't turned out that way, I knew she'd be happy to know how well I was doing now and that her struggles had been worth it.

I also came to understand a little better how much Mom had loved me. She was gone, and I still missed her a lot, but reading her thoughts about all the mischief I used to get into when I was a little girl and how proud she'd been of me, both for my acting and my achievements when I had gone to work at Shinra in Systems Operation, had helped a lot to ease the pain. I kept my apartment spotlessly clean these days to honor her memory and tell her I loved her.

The more recent entries had been largely about Reeve and her plan to get me and her out on our own. And I learned a little about her long friendship with him, too. She'd always spoken fondly about him in her writing, and although she had always been careful in what she had said about him, I'd begun to wonder. And as I was sitting there reading one of her final entries, I grew even more intrigued.

I'm almost ready. It's been so long, so many years to get to this point. But it's finally here. Aria gave me what could be the key to it all. I wish I could thank her, but Shinra killed her for what she knew. Richard saw to that. Yet another thing he'll have to answer for. She and I were friends for a long time, and we'dhad a lot in common. We were both trapped in jobs we had come to hate, singing Shinra's praises to the public on the outside while on the inside, we were screaming.

Ironic that Shinra's head of Public Relations hates the very company she's obligated to represent. But so many years of having to put a positive, blatantly false spin on Shinra's numerous atrocities or simply cover them up entirely kept eating away at me. I hadn't wanted Jessica to work at the company and would've preferred that she stay in the theater instead. But her love of computers and machines is as strong as her acting talent, and so I helped her get the job in Systems Operation.

Reeve has been such a lifesaver for me over these past few years, and I'm glad that there's someone at Shinra I can trust to look out for Jessica. He and I have been friends since we were children in the slums. We'd just sit sometimes, looking up at the plate, and dream of going up there to see the big city and make a name for ourselves.

If only we'd known.

We've both come far from those days, but I know it's not what either of us had pictured. Still… there might be hope for us yet. I made a choice a long time ago, one that I thought was right. But it wasn't. I can see that now. My marriage to Richard was a mistake, and I was foolish and blind to think that I could change him. The only good thing that's ever come of it has been Jessica, my wonderful daughter.

Reeve's been so patient and understanding all these years, so good to me. And to Jessica as well. I'm glad they get along so well. I've never told her just what he is to her yet, what I asked him to be. I'll do that once she and I are finally free of Richard and on our own.

And after that, once things have calmed down a bit and Jessica and I get all settled into our new life, I think… I think I'll give Reeve the chance I should've given him a long time ago. I know Jessica won't object. And it would be nice to finally see what I missed. It would make him happy, too. If he's still interested, that is. I… I hope he is.

When I was finished, I read it again, then closed the diary and put it down on the coffee table. Leaning back on the sofa, I mulled over all of what I'd learned, wondering what it meant. What was the choice that Mom had made so long ago? And what had she meant by giving Reeve a chance that she hadn't before?

At first, I didn't know, didn't get it. But then, a memory came to my mind. That last day at the train station, when Reeve and I had seen her off. The way she had looked at him when she'd been boarding the train. There had been something in her eyes. My own suddenly widened as I realized what it could've meant.

But a knock on the door kept me from thinking about it any more for the time being. Since I was becoming a bit of a celebrity in Midgar, my address wasn't public knowledge. I'd never had it listed anyway, and being in LOVELESS had helped me keep it that way. I didn't need visits from fans at odd hours, after all. There was a time and place for public interaction, and my home wasn't it.

Only three people knew where I lived. Kunsel, Reeve, and Andrea. And I trusted each of them. Four, if you counted Cait Sith. When I got up and opened the door, though, it wasn't any of them. I was surprised, to say the least, and all I could do at first was just stand there and gape, my mouth hanging open.

"Special delivery!" Aerith giggled.

She was holding a large bouquet of flowers in her hand, smiling as she offered them to me. No doubt they were from Kunsel, and while he knew where I lived, I'd never invited him up here yet. It was a step that I hadn't been in any rush to take and still wasn't. But sooner or later, I'd let him in. When I felt ready. We were taking things slow, but we didn't mind. I hadn't been to his place yet, either.

I smiled and took the flowers. "Thanks, Aerith. They're great! Did Kunsel send you?"

"Yep!" she said. "He's at his usual spot waiting for you."

"I won't keep him long, then. But why don't you come sit down for a minute? It's always good to see a friend."

Aerith walked inside. "Definitely. Thanks!"

I found a vase for the flowers and put them inside. "Sure! So, how's business? Still good, I hope."

"Yeah," she answered. "Lots of sales today!"

Kunsel and I saw her sometimes whenever she came to Sector 8 to sell her flowers. Aerith would often wait by the theater and peddle her flowers to the crowds of people going inside or outside before and after the show. Sometimes she got a lot of sales, and other days were slower, just like with any other business.

I put the vase in the middle of the coffee table, then sat down with Aerith on the couch. "Glad to hear it. I think people here need that sort of thing, you know?"

"That's right, Jessie. It's part of why I do what I do. To bring a smile and a little happiness to them. And speaking of which, today is exactly two months since you and Kunsel began seeing each other. With a little help from me, of course."

"How'd you know?" I chuckled.

Aerith winked. "He told me. That's what the bouquet's for."

I shot to my feet, my hand over my mouth. "Oh! I should've gotten him something, too!"

"Hmm… I've got an idea," she grinned impishly.

"What is it?" I asked.

Aerith stood up, cupped her mouth with her hand, and whispered in my ear. When I heard her suggestion, my eyes widened and my face went a bright tomato red. She was definitely not some innocent dainty, that was for sure, even though she looked like one. When she was done talking, she stood back to see my reaction.

"Aerith!" I stared at her, still blushing furiously.

She smirked. "Well? You know he'll like it. And I'm pretty sure you will, too. You're both so into each other. It's cute!"

I looked away. "It would be nice, but it's also a little scary…"

"What do you mean?" Aerith wondered.

"Just… never done it before, that's all," I answered.

She gasped. "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make things awkward. I was just trying to help."

I smiled at her. "It's okay. You didn't know."

"Thanks," Aerith said. "I'm not trying to push you into anything. It was sort of a joke, really. So do what you feel is right."

"I will. And… I'll keep it mind."

She clapped her hands together as we walked to the door. "Great! I hope it all works out for you guys."

"So do I," I said. "It's just… I'm afraid to let him in."

"Into you. The real you," Aerith nodded.

I closed the door behind us as we headed downstairs. "Yeah. I want to, but… there are things I haven't told him about myself. They're hard to talk about, you know."

"But they're important," she said. "Right?"

"Yeah. They're part of who I am. Who I was. And… I don't think I could be with Kunsel in that way if I didn't tell him the truth first. If we were to ever… take that step… he should know just who it is he's being with. And I have to know it's safe. For both of us."

When we got to the door leading outside, Aerith put her hands on my shoulders, her green eyes firm. "Whatever trouble you're in, Jessie, remember that you're not alone. Kunsel cares about you a lot, and he'll back you no matter what."

"Are you sure about that?" I swallowed.

"Yeah," Aerith nodded. "I'm pretty good at reading people. Comes in handy in my line of work."

I really liked Kunsel, and while I trusted him, I'd still been carefully evasive whenever he would ask me about certain things. Such as where I grew up, who my parents were, that sort of thing. He'd never brought it up, though, and I was grateful that he hadn't pressed me about it. But I knew he deserved to have an explanation sooner or later if we wanted to keep our relationship going.

"Thanks," I said. "I… I think I'll tell him."

Aerith grinned. "Good! And don't forget, you've got me, too. If you ever need help, just shout and I'll come running. I've tangled a bit with Shinra myself, after all."

I stared at her. "Shinra? Why would you think—?"

"Who else would it be?" she explained. "They're the only ones that fit the bill, as big and as powerful as they are."

"You're pretty quick to pick up on things, you know?"

Aerith let go of me, and we walked outside. "Yeah, it's… just a little talent I have, I guess. But don't worry, Jessie. Your secret's safe with me. I can tell you're hiding from Shinra, or someone in there. I don't know who or why, and I don't need to."

I took her arm for a moment. "How do you know that!?"

"It's in your eyes," she told me. "I know that look because I've worn it too many times myself. It's the face of someone who's always looking over her shoulder. Most people wouldn't pick up on it, but I do. I know what it's like, believe me. I've been there."

"Why would Shinra be after you?" I wondered.

She laughed. "Maybe they just really like flowers! Who knows? But what matters is that you and I are the same, Jessie. Us hunted girls have to stick together. I know you're afraid, even though you hide it well. It's the actress in you, I bet."

I let go of her. "That's true. I'm used to wearing a mask."

"I know. But if you want things with Kunsel to work, you're gonna have to let him see behind it sooner or later."

"Yeah," I agreed. "It's just… I don't want him in danger."

Aerith smiled softly. "Shouldn't that be up to him? Just lay down all your cards and let him decide."

I nodded. "You're right, Aerith. It's his choice."

As we stood out on the sidewalk, I knew what I had to do. It was a little scary, but it was right. Kunsel and I had only been going out for a couple months, but we'd seen a lot of each other in that time, spending time just walking down the streets of Sector 8, having dinner together, or sharing drinks and dancing at Goblin's Bar.

He was actually getting to be pretty good at it now, even with some of the faster songs. And we always ended up laughing by the time we'd finished dancing to those. The slower songs were some of my favorites, though, the way he held me so close as we moved around the floor and our lips always came together by the end.

Aerith pointed at me and winked. "Yep! And like I told you before, he really cares about you, so I know he'll stick with you. So don't worry, it'll all work out fine. And whatever your situation is, Jessie, don't let it keep you down. Now is what matters."

Then she giggled, waved, and walked down the road. I waved back at my friend, glad for her advice and support. Although I was sure that there was a lot more to her than she let on. Shinra wouldn't be after her if she was just a simple florist.

But whatever it was, I didn't know, and it didn't matter. Aerith had respected my privacy about my own situation, not pressing me for any details, so I would do the same for her. If she wanted to tell me about it sometime, that was fine, but I wasn't gonna ask her myself, either. And I knew she would never ask me about mine.

And then I remembered her rather naughty suggestion upstairs as I started heading toward the theater and Kunsel, and my cheeks turned pink as I thought it over. "You know, Jessie, you could always bring him up here, change into a sexy little number, and give him one hell of a night to remember! How's that for a gift?"

Maybe, if things worked out, I would do just that.